UNadulteratedOrdinary People. Ordinary Things. with Melissa Radke add
Erin Arruda is here today. We met during a conference, and we both liked each other instantly. One of the chapters in my book, that has gotten a lot of feedback from both women and men is the chapter titled Lovers and Leavers. Erin’s story goes well with that chapter. Erin found redemption and happiness, but it wasn’t an easy journey, and it certainly wasn’t easy to talk about.
Erin openly shares her story of life, love, guilt, shame, and redemption on today’s show. She also talks about her book Unadulterated: His Scandalous Grace—Your New Identity and how she found her way back to the lord and happiness. Erin is now happily married with three beautiful daughters. She loves her friends, and holds them close in her heart and home. I hope you enjoy this inspirational conversation with Erin.
Show Notes[04:26] Melissa and Erin instantly bonded over books and the desire to tell their stories. [05:55] Erin was raised in church with two sisters and a brother. Somehow along the path she started associating church with perfectionism. [07:21] She tried to check all the boxes and do everything she was supposed to do. [07:41] She got married after college but became an isolated and depressed person. [08:28] She fell into every temptation and began to have an affair. She was still engaged with church and her family, but she was hiding another life. [09:29] After the affair ended, she just kept going with her life. [09:46] Isolation and hiding keeps us from being vulnerable. [10:20] She got a new job and worked long hours. She also fell in love with a guy from work. [10:53] She felt her marriage was a prison and left her husband and moved in with her sister. [12:46] Then she discovered that she was pregnant. [15:07] She was in a desperate place. She even considered getting an abortion. [16:30] She just got divorced and now she was going to get married again and have a baby. [17:05] Mickey asked her parents for their blessing. [18:04] Her father welcomed Mickey, and she realized if he could love her that much than how much more could her God in heaven love her. [18:17] In that moment everything changed. [21:33] She started planning the wedding. Three days later she miscarried. Her entire family showed up to grieve. [22:44] They still got married, and that was almost 12 years ago. [24:21] It is better in the light. [29:07] After you realize you are forgiven, there is another part. It's that our identity really is in the resurrection. The connection of that is what helped Erin to get past the shame she felt after she was forgiven. [30:16] Because of Jesus, our sin no longer has power. [31:23] Erin's parents didn't know that Erin had another affair or that it had been going on with Mickey for so long. [32:02] Erin and MIckey submitted their questions to the lord. They let the word restore them out of brokenness. [33:15] There are churches that are okay with imperfection. [34:16] Erin and Mickey have three beautiful girls, and they both serve in the church. [37:10] Erin gets strength about telling her story when people thank her because she has helped them. [40:41] If you knew how much Jesus loved you, you wouldn't feel shame and guilt. Jesus calls you by your name not by what you have done. [43:17] Erin does the lightning round...
Thanks for joining us on Ordinary People Ordinary Things. Be sure to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes and leave a nice review. Just like your mother taught you.
Links and Resources:Podcast Web Page Facebook Page @MsMelissaRadke on Instagram @msmelissaradke on Twitter Eat Cake. Be Brave. Sign Up for Insider Access Fab Fit Fun Boxes For $10 Off Use the Code: Ordinary Bolster Sleep For 10% Off Use the Code: Ordinary Erin Arruda Website Erin Arruda on Instagram Unadulterated: His Scandalous Grace—Your New Identity Erin Arruda on Facebook email@example.com Chris Tomlin
Bonus Episode: BreakthroughOrdinary People. Ordinary Things. with Melissa Radke add
This week you'll have the opportunity to go see Breakthrough. It's the real life story of John Smith who fell into a frozen lake and was submerged for 15 minutes. After countless tries to start his heart, John died on the operating table, but everything changed when his mom walked in the room.
Breakthrough is the true story of a modern day miracle. I am so excited to talk with Devon Franklin who produced the movie. Devon is a film & TV producer, best-selling author, preacher, and spiritual success coach. You may have seen some of his other movies like Miracles from Heaven or Heaven Is for Real.
Jason Noble is the real life Pastor of John Smith and is played by Topher Grace in the movie. Jason shares his first hand account of the miracle he witnessed and was a part of. We also talk about the movie, miracles, God, faith, and trials of being a pastor. I also get to ask a few questions about what went on behind the scenes.
Show Notes[03:37] Melissa got to see a preview of breakthrough, and it was so beautiful and powerful, and it was such a relief that she didn't have to ask her kids to leave the room. [05:57] One of the things that Devon is curious about is how Breakthrough full affect youth since the main character John Smith is a teenager. [06:38] If we stop and look around, we will see breakthroughs happening in our lives right now. [07:30] A breakthrough is the moving of an obstacle to let progress can resume. [08:27] Devon also made Miracles from Heaven and Heaven Is for Real. These movies find him. [09:44] Making the films is easy, it's the marketing and promotion that is hard. [11:44] Breakthrough is a true story with a message within the story. [13:44] Devon answers the three questions… [18:41] Jason loves Topher Grace although he always though he would be played by Matt Damon in a movie. [20:51] Joyce Smith and Jason never had any problems in real life. [22:37] A sub part of the story is really a love letter to Pastors. [23:13] Jason knew John would come out of the coma and heal. God was calling him to stay with him. [25:09] Jason saw angels in the room, and he knew that John would walk out of there. [28:27] Part of positioning yourself for a miracle is not giving up. [29:15] When God takes a loved one home, we have to trust him with that and be okay with it. [29:51] We have to pray believing that God is going to show up and be okay with the outcome. [32:00] Jason and the Smiths are family now, they will be close for the rest of their lives. God has put them together for a lifetime. [32:58] Take a friend or someone to the movie with you! [33:35] Jason answers the three questions...
Thanks for joining us on Ordinary People Ordinary Things. Be sure to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes and leave a nice review. Just like your mother taught you.
Links and Resources:Podcast Web Page Facebook Page @MsMelissaRadke on Instagram @msmelissaradke on Twitter This Sucks But God Is Good (online course) Eat Cake. Be Brave. Eat Cake. Be Brave. Book Club How to Take Your Marriage From Here to There Audio Download Sign Up for Insider Access Fab Fit Fun Boxes For $10 Off Use the Code: Ordinary Bolster Sleep Tell them Melissa sent you! Devon Franklin Devon Franklin on Instagram @DeVonFranklin on Twitter The Truth About Men Breakthrough Movie Breakthrough to Your Miracle
Soul Little Issues, Soul Little TimeOrdinary People. Ordinary Things. with Melissa Radke add
It’s time for the third part to the body, mind, and soul series. I kicked off this season working on my body. I’ve even lost 25 pounds. It’s not a fast pace, but I’m keeping at it. In the second section of the podcast it was all about the MIND. This was received really well. I wage a war with my mind every single day of my life. I've done a lot of prayer, listening, and counseling, so that I run my MIND now.
Sometimes people don’t like to talk about the soul, but the mind, body, and soul are all interconnected. We can’t improve one without improving the other. God made us with this body, soul, mind combination. To have one is to have them all. Maybe people shy away from talking about the soul, because they don’t want to talk about God. Maybe spirituality is too controversial. On this episode, I share some of the investigative work that I have put into the soul as we kick off this new part of the series.
Show Notes[05:43] Some people believe in a trichotomous view. Which means we are made up of three parts body, mind, and soul. Others have a dichotomous view with only two parts meaning the inward and outward. [06:50] Our soul is the spiritual part of our being. Inside of us there is Zoe. This is referring with the union we have with God. [08:11] Our souls come from God. Maybe the issue no one wants to talk about is God. [09:49] It doesn't make sense to not spend time on the thing that spiritually means life or death. [10:00] Today, I'm going to share some investigative work I've been doing on the soul. [10:27] You plus your money plus your job plus your status plus your friends plus the car you drive plus the private school your kids attend equal nothing. [11:00] Y O U you equal everything. [11:12] You are your soul, and your soul is you. The soul is about the slow unglamorous building of character. [13:29] We are in a barren land when it comes to matters of the soul. [14:29] Determine which of the three types of souls that you are. [14:39] The hardened soul. Holding unforgiveness. [15:08] The shallow soul. The time is about me. [15:45] The cluttered soul. Too busy. [16:18] Whatever you do is going to be out of your soul. [16:59] Every good thing that flows into our life and every good thing that flows out of our life is directly related to our soul. [17:34] Sin can wear the soul down and break it apart. It destroys every good thing about us. [18:04] If you feel broken or lost, look at how you are living. [18:36] We all long to have wounds healed. [18:56] Spend the time and do the work to fix it. No matter how you have to, fix it. [19:53] I want God's will to be fulfilled through my lifetime no matter how that may look. [21:49] Our soul resides in each of us and determines our lives and our future.
Thanks for joining us on Ordinary People Ordinary Things. Be sure to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes and leave a nice review. Just like your mother taught you.
Links and Resources:Podcast Web Page Facebook Page @MsMelissaRadke on Instagram @msmelissaradke on Twitter This Sucks But God Is Good (online course) Eat Cake. Be Brave. Eat Cake. Be Brave. Book Club How to Take Your Marriage From Here to There Audio Download Sign Up for Insider Access Fab Fit Fun Boxes For $10 Off Use the Code: Ordinary Bolster Sleep For 10% Off Use the Code: Ordinary A Course in Weight Loss: 21 Spiritual Lessons for Surrendering Your Weight Forever To MIND Own Self Be True Don’t MIND Me, It’s Just the Season 2 Premiere Soul Keeping: Caring For the Most Important Part of You
LandMINDS In MarriageOrdinary People. Ordinary Things. with Melissa Radke add
One of the things I've heard a lot about last season was that you guys loved it when the Attorney General was on the show. This is an episode featuring David Radke during our MIND series. So of course, this show is titled LandMINDS In Marriage. This is an appropriate topic because we get a lot of questions about our marriage. We have both been very open and vulnerable about our relationship.
Today, we are going to talk about some of the landmines in our own marriage. We are going to share five things that are sore topics or maybe things that we have learned in our marriage. It’s funny, because some of the conventional wisdom and advice doesn’t always apply. We have found five things that enable us to avoid a fight, diffuse a situation, or eventually get past whatever the problem was. We hope you enjoy this little glimpse into our marriage and our lives.Show Notes [02:13] The other night we were racing home to get our kids. We passed Kingwood, and David wanted to go to Culver's and I didn't. I suggested we go to two places. David won't do that. He thinks it's a waste of time. [04:08] David is a man of purpose, that is why we call him the attorney general. [06:27] 1. Your mother. We don't bring up our families in our fights. We don't want to bring in outside issues into our marriage or cause a fight. Our families are part of our lives, but they are not part of our marriage. [07:27] It's taking a shot below the belt. [08:25] We are imperfect parents raised by imperfect parents who were raised by imperfect parents. [09:43] The grace we give is the grace we will receive. [13:47] Focus on one good thing and give yourself time to mature. Find one good trait. [14:40] 2. Keeping score. This is different than forgiveness. [15:49] We have been married 25 years. We can forgive even when things aren't forgotten. Use caution and don't bring up those things. If there is true forgiveness. it's not fair to bring those things up. [17:48] Stop keeping records of wrongs. Don't remind them of what they did and speak to who they are. [19:22] 3. We go to bed angry and often wake up with a clear head. [21:42] It's freeing to go to bed angry. We don't even sleep apart. Give yourself a break, don't go to the couch. [22:31] We make poor decisions when exhausted and worn out physically and emotionally. [26:03] 4. Button pushing. This was a big one for us. When you spend a lot of time with someone, you know their buttons. [27:46] Write down your hot buttons on a post-it note. It's disrespect to push these buttons intentionally. [29:52] Over time, people change and the hot button issues change. [31:42] When we aren't in the fight is the best time to talk it out. [33:39] The hot button aspect is removed when things are talked about. [34:03] 5. A hand gesture that would signify an immediate stop. No matter how tense things are. Everything stops! Enough of this topic now. [35:56] This gesture has to be used sparingly and responsibly. [36:43] We have used this when it comes to money, parenting, business, or when we were tired. [37:21] It's a pause button. [38:57] Treat the other person like you would want to be treated. Try to out serve and out love them and a time will come when it is returned. [40:38] Became a safe place for your spouse to fall. Pillows not thorns. [41:32] We took a canoe trip. We tipped over three times in a 30 degree river in Oklahoma. We were sitting in the wrong positions. [43:13] It was a hilarious trip, but we love each other. We pick on each other, but we LOVE each other. [44:28] The more time we spend with each other the better. We are wild about each other. [45:27] The last three questions with David! [47:25] If there is one thing I want you to know about this episode is that you can let go of all of the trite cliches and expectations.
Minding Our Own BusinessOrdinary People. Ordinary Things. with Melissa Radke add
I had a wonderful beautiful childhood, and I feel really blessed and fortunate to be able to say that. I was an only child for most of my life. I was very close to my parents, and I felt very safe in my home. I know that's not the story for everyone. It's always bothered me and maybe even made me feel a little bit guilty. I want everyone's childhood to be perfect and rosy and without trauma. Now that I'm a parent, I know that we never get it all right. At this point, most of us are aware of our parents misgivings.
A few months ago, I attended a class on childhood trauma. I wasn't even sure if this class was going to be for me. A great communicator can draw you in whether the topic specifically pertains to you or not. That's what Carlos Martinez did that day. He was such a great teacher that I hung on every word. Carlos is here today to talk about childhood trauma, forgiveness, and more. Before listening to this episode, we recommend that you watch this TED Talk about adverse childhood experiences.
You can find Carlos here:
[05:01] Carlos got his first Masters in Divinity. Then his second Masters is in counseling.
[06:17] Dream Big was held in a place nestled in Tennessee, and it's a life-changing place that Carlos now works at. They hold different intensive workshops.
[08:08] Melissa has been going over her journal that she started at the Dream Big Event. It's not about the rip, it's about the repair. Melissa was so taken with what Carlos was saying that she couldn't even take notes.
[10:04] The TED Talk by Nadine Burke Harris talks about how childhood trauma can change the development of our brain.
[10:24] Carlos is a survivor of several kinds of trauma, so he is deeply immersed in it. He loves how the TED Talk makes the topic accessible.
[11:08] Carlos had to work through his anger and frustration about the things that weren't being talked about at church.
[11:56] God's grace allows us to do what we can with the information that we are given if we let ourselves step into it.
[12:04] Having survived trauma himself, Carlos realized that he could work with trauma survivors.
[13:05] In the video, she talks about ACES or Adverse Childhood Experiences.
[15:23] The Still Face Experiment video. It's traumatic for a child not to get a response from a parent.
[17:40] It's not pleasant to think about, but if we think back some of us might find some emotional abuse.
[18:20] The higher your ACE score the more it affects your health.
[19:02] Carlos is forever a work-in-progress working on his day-to-day recovery.
[19:28] He has always had an issue with breathing and catching his breath. He has to take steps to relax and breathe normally.
[20:40] Carlos is constantly working on the repair of himself and those around him and those under his stewardship.
[20:58] Having a relationship with Christ gives you grace for that day.
[21:52] Breathing is one of our primal urges and threats to our safety can be a primal threat.
[22:40] Our life comes from our breath, and it is our most basic drive.
[23:49] It's not about the rip, it's about to repair. This is about taking responsibility and stepping into the repair. This reminds Carlos of Romans 5 in the Bible. The power of Jesus brought dead people to life.
[25:55] Imagine what relationships could be repaired if we step into taking full ownership and repairing those relationships.
[27:04] Saying I'm sorry is being vulnerable, and it doesn't come easy for everyone.
[29:32] There's a physical, spiritual, mental, and emotional cost of not forgiving.
[30:21] Forgiveness isn't a moment it's a process.
[32:22] Carlos has a small inner circle, and those who he holds the closest, he also holds the most accountable.
[34:44] Relationships are special gifts limited by time and space and energy.
[36:35] Know that this message came across today, because it's the next step in your journey. This is part of God's timing, so take the next step and reach out or talk to someone or find counseling.
[38:02] We are all worth investing in and showing ourselves a little bit of mercy.
[39:35] Three Rapid Fire questions with Carlos...
[42:40] What you went through is real, and it's part of the story that makes you you. I hope you can get to a place of acceptance and learn from it and grow from it.
[43:40] Take a screenshot on your phone and let us know why this episode was important to you.
Links and Resources:Podcast Web Page Facebook Page @MsMelissaRadke on Instagram @msmelissaradke on Twitter This Sucks But God Is Good (online course) Eat Cake. Be Brave. Eat Cake. Be Brave. Book Club How to Take Your Marriage From Here to There Audio Download Sign Up for Insider Access Dream Big Bob Goff ACES TED Talk How Childhood Trauma Affects Health Across a Lifetime | Nadine Burke Harris Still Face Experiment: Dr. Edward Tronick The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma The Best Gift You Can Ever Give Your Parents Nadine Harris TED Talk About ACES
Mind Your MannersOrdinary People. Ordinary Things. with Melissa Radke add
Diane Gottsman is a national etiquette expert. She is the owner of a company that specializes in corporate etiquette training. She is the author of Modern Etiquette for a Better Life. She has appeared on The Today Show, Headline News, CBS Sunday Morning, and in the New York Times. She is also poised, beautiful, smart, and so well-spoken.
I was nervous about having an etiquette expert like Diane on the show today, but she put me at ease. Diane teaches that etiquette is about mind and soul, and that they are connected. She believes that etiquette is about putting other people at ease, and that's what she did with me. She also answered my questions with such grace and wisdom that I loved this episode. Diane shares insights about life we all need to keep in mind. This interview wasn’t what I had expected, but it is filled with actionable knowledge we can all use.
You can find Diane here:
Show Notes[02:45] Diane is in San Antonio today. [05:25] To Diane etiquette isn't stuffy, it's about life skills and making other people feel comfortable. Every person at every age can fine-tune their life skills. [05:59] When Diane was growing up she didn't know what she wanted to do, but she did know she wanted to work with people. [06:25] Diane has a master's degree in human behavior. She started fundraising for meals-on-wheels. She also worked with a children's charity and one of the children said when she grew up she wanted to be just like Diane. [07:33] She had an aha moment and realized that knowledge and training was all that was holding this little girl back. This inspired Diane to work and train people in all walks of life. [08:33] She merged her teaching and training into one. By nature Diane is an introvert. She is still shy, but she's a socialized introvert. [09:48] It's up to us to be relationship builders. Etiquette is just about being authentic and genuine. That is what Diane teaches. [10:37] We get to choose how we behave and how others treat us. We train people how to treat us. If someone is talking down to you, you don't have to waste a lot of time with them. [11:07] It's about feeling good about yourself and knowing that you are not competing with anyone else. [11:16] Money doesn't buy class it buys a great pair of shoes. It's about self confidence and making others around you feel comfortable. [11:36] If everyone likes you, there's something wrong with you. It means you're not speaking your truth. [11:45] Diane teaches etiquette which is about mind and soul, and they are connected. [13:02] There's a difference between assertive and aggressive. You lose your power when you scream or shout. [13:48] As we grow, we weed our friendship gardens. [14:40] A graceful exit isn't a shouting match. It's better to talk about something positive rather than negative. You can gracefully exit. You don't need to give excuses. There is power in truth, but use good judgement. [16:54] Diane owns the Protocol School of Texas which is a company that specializes in corporate etiquette training. [17:35] You are your brand. Always work on your brand. [19:44] It's up to us as parents to do the best that we can. Give your kids structure and boundaries. [20:54] Diane instilled values in her kids. The need to be respectful, make eye contact, exchange a handshake when appropriate, and be open and have grace. Give everyone the benefit of the doubt. [22:13] When eating at restaurants, at the end of the meal, Melissa asks her kids what were the color of the eyes of their waiter or waitress. [22:48] When you are introduced to someone stand up. [25:25] Balance is the key with social media. You can tell a great deal about a person from their posts. Social media can help you, but we all need face-to-face relationships. [27:20] Texting isn't a bad thing, but it may not be the best thing in some situations. Know the language of the person that you are relating to. [28:29] Everyone should have people around them who lift them up. [31:44] Cell phone etiquette? Put your phone away at a party or event. You can use your phone when getting a pedicure. Use your best judgement. The most important person is sitting across from you. [34:28] Thank you notes? They aren't outdated. Send the note. [36:29] Hold a red wine glass from the bowl and a white wine glass from the stem. A champagne flute is held from the stem. [36:56] Hostess gifts are still a thing. Take one when you are invited to a party or to stay at someone’s home. Send flowers in advance. Don't make the host or hostess stop and find a vase. Bring wine, tea towels, or olive oil. [38:21] You shouldn't be thinking about the exit at the entrance of a party. It's your job to be pleasant and interesting. At a wedding reception, wait until the cake is cut. At a dinner, you have to wait for dessert. [40:57] Tipping for a housekeeper during holidays is fine. [42:16] How to deal with personal questions. These questions are invasive and off limits. Keep your questions to yourself. Set boundaries with questions. [45:41] Listen to your gut, it will guide you. Be kind to yourself and give yourself a break. [46:49] We should all strive to surround ourselves with people who lift us up. [48:12] Diane answers the three rapid fire questions. [52:41] Etiquette is about class and grace. It's about raising our children to make others feel like the most important people in the room. It's about looking people in the eye when we speak to them. It's about listening instead of speaking. It's about putting down our phones. It's about extending a hand rather than a text.
Links and Resources:Podcast Web Page Facebook Page @MsMelissaRadke on Instagram @msmelissaradke on Twitter This Sucks But God Is Good (online course) Eat Cake. Be Brave. Eat Cake. Be Brave. Book Club How to Take Your Marriage From Here to There Audio Download Modern Etiquette for a Better Life How to Change How You Feel Without Changing Who You Are Webinar Tipping Etiquette
Mind Made UpOrdinary People. Ordinary Things. with Melissa Radke add
I love today’s guest. My friend Ashley Berry is a life coach, entrepreneur, cancer survivor, mom, foster mom, and woman of strength and wisdom. She loves and touches everyone she comes into contact with. Ashley is passionate about coaching and seeing lives changed for the better. She has overcome breast cancer and many other obstacles in life and is a pure inspiration. She also proves God's love even in times of uncertainty.
In this episode, we have a no holds barred conversation about life, love, and parenting. Ashley shares her perspective on today’s society and culture and gives some wonderful ways that we can all make our world better. She lives by example and cares for everyone she meets. We talk about men, raising children, respecting each other, and how Ashley turned her breast cancer journey into the inspiration to start a nonprofit to help others in need.
You can find Ashley here:
Show Notes[07:20] Ashley was dating her son's father in college. It didn't work out for them, but Ashley has a son named Cayden and now has a good relationship with his father. [09:32] As a result, Ashley is teaching her son to take care of his responsibilities. [10:15] Ashley met her dad when she was 12, and it was a series of let downs after that. [11:26] Ashley is ready to get married. The type of guy who is going to be in her life has to love God first. [13:59] About six years ago, Ashley was praying and she visualized herself sitting with Jesus. That moment changed her relationship with Christ and has helped her to love people differently. [17:02] Ashley grew up with her grandparents until she was seven, and her grandfather was an alcoholic. [19:41] Ashley worries about whether Cayden will be seen differently, because he is black. [22:32] She wants to protect him, so she sets an example of how to be respectful. [25:50] All people deserve the same mutual respect. [27:08] Saying negative things in front of our children leaves a much stronger impact then we realize. [28:13] When we all decide that we are all valuable and worth so much more, and we start truly caring about each other we will stop being mean and start caring about people. [31:07] Melissa shares an example that Oprah told about how pit bulls are loving, but they are feared because of all the bad things people hear. Oprah made the same analogy about black men. [32:12] There are so many good strong intelligent black men who are leaders in this country. These men are setting the pathway for younger black men behind them. [33:17] We can teach children to respond in such a way that doesn't continue the vicious cycle. [33:58] Ashley is also a foster care parent. She has been fostering since August. She now has a 14 month old little boy. [34:57] He is a joy. He sleeps all night long and eats really well. [35:42] People need to show these children what family looks like and break the cycle of dysfunctional families. [37:21] Ashley refuses to allow circumstances to define her. Breast cancer was one of those situations. [38:49] There's no point in just existing. We need to dig deep and get it done. [39:45] Ashley is a life coach and the owner of 3 event venues. [40:27] She also helped her best friend with catering. [40:43] She is also starting a nonprofit called East Texas Cancer Alliance of Hope. [40:58] There is a significant need for tangible hope for people with cancer. [41:56] They will provide tangible hope in the form of gas vouchers, food vouchers, hotel bills, co-pays, and things that will make it easier for people not to have to choose between treatment and paying the bills. [42:30] When Ashley sees a need for something, she goes ahead and does it. [43:57] Do what you can with what you have. Nothing should hold you back. Someone is waiting for you to tell your story. Be authentic and inspire and help someone. [45:20] Ashley loves people, and where she is today is where God has taken her. [47:45] Ashley answers the rapid fire questions. [51:47] Live in such a way that if someone spoke badly about you, no one would believe it. That is how Melissa feels about Ashley.
Links and Resources:Podcast Web Page Facebook Page @MsMelissaRadke on Instagram @msmelissaradke on Twitter This Sucks But God Is Good (online course) Eat Cake. Be Brave. Eat Cake. Be Brave. Book Club How to Take Your Marriage From Here to There Audio Download Just Mercy Just Mercy for Young Adults Oprah and Bryan Stevenson The Shack Limitless Event Venues East Texas Cancer Alliance of Hope Dare to Lead
Mind Over MotherOrdinary People. Ordinary Things. with Melissa Radke add
We miss so many good opportunities, because we won't walk across the room. I was at the same conference as Nicole, and I asked what brought her here. She said that she's a mom of four and two of her children are almost grown and two of her children are still at home, and she has been looking at her life and thinking what's next. Do you ever wonder what's next for you? Are you ever looking for something more?
Nicole Botha is excited by travel. She is an experience seeker. She loves yarn and is intrigued by diversity. She finds authenticity stimulating and suburbia frustrating. She is a feeler and an introvert. She is moved by heart connections, and she thinks kindness is sexy. She is here to today to discuss what it means to want something more and how to find that something.
You can find Nicole here:
Show Notes[03:34] Nicole is on the East Coast of South Africa. [04:07] South Africa celebrates Christmas, but the weather is different. Her family took a road trip and discovered the country and then went to Cape Town and Johannesburg. [04:58] Then some of her family climbed Kilimanjaro on January 1st. [06:15] Melissa met Nicole at Bob Goff's Dream Big Conference. [06:21] Nicole and her husband got married in their early twenties. They have been married for 27 years and have four children. [06:46] Their oldest daughter is in her last year of college and is hoping to go study in Paris. [06:56] Her next daughter is almost 18 and summited Kilimanjaro along with her husband. [07:11] Their son Chase is 15, and son Rory is 11. [08:24] The greatest thing about moving away from family is that you are left with only relying on each other. This creates opportunities to grow and explore. [10:24] Nicole had a lot of problems with one of her daughters, and it took her a long time to get over the control she had over her. [11:57] The worst thing she ever had to do was tell her daughter that she didn't have to love her. [14:39] She told her daughter that she couldn't cross the bridge to see her anymore, but her daughter was welcome to cross the bridge to visit her. [16:19] She also apologized to her other children for all the attention and energy they had to give to her one daughter. [17:33] It's not healthy for a family to have problems that they don't talk about. [21:40] Nicole learned that just because her children are different, it doesn't mean that she is a failure. [22:12] The key is the way that we respond when things go off the rails. [26:12] Nicole has no problem with challenging societal norms. She won't just lie down and play dead. [27:11] Rebels with a cause is about when God puts things in front of us that are different and how doing the same thing everyday to deal with it doesn't work. We can force everything to be the same. We are all here for a purpose and have different treasures within us. [33:42] How there's a swing with people beginning to realize that they can be vulnerable with their emotions. [36:18] Things are now okay with Nicole and her daughter, and they are even friends. [37:58] Our lives and our families are in jeopardy if we don't have an ongoing relationship with God. [40:17] Nicole is trying to turn more in to God, she visualizes herself in a duvet and rolling into Him. [43:46] Nicole answers the rapid fire questions. [47:31] I really loved this interview and how down to earth Nicole is. She does what she can do and lets God sort out the best.
Links and Resources:Podcast Web Page Facebook Page @MsMelissaRadke on Instagram @msmelissaradke on Twitter This Sucks But God Is Good (online course) Eat Cake. Be Brave. Eat Cake. Be Brave. Book Club How to Take Your Marriage From Here to There Audio Download Culture of Honor Loving Our Kids On Purpose Dream Big Bob Goff Number One Question Free Webinar
Minding the Pain With Stefanie BoyceOrdinary People. Ordinary Things. with Melissa Radke add
When I'm with my friends we like to talk about hair, fashion, or whether keto even really works. We also talk about serious things. We rarely dive into the topic of grief. This is weird because we all grieve. Within my set of friends there is one whose marriage is ending, there is one who has buried a child, there are three or four who have buried a parent, had to file bankruptcy, and a few have checked a loved one into rehab.
Grief is this thing that we all have in common, yet we don't talk about it. Why?
We don't talk about grief, because grief is a party crasher. We touch on it briefly. We know it's not going away. It's cracks will be with us forever. Grief will always be a part of our lives, so we might as well learn a little bit about it.
This is where my friend Stefanie comes in. My guest today is Stefanie Boyce. Stefanie is a speaker, writer, bible study teacher, wife, mother of 3 (two who are at home and one with Jesus). She is currently journeying from Type A to Plan B.
You can find Stefanie here:
Show Notes[04:21] When I met Stefanie, she swept me off my feet. Our hearts connected. [05:31] Stefanie is going from type A to plan B. [06:19] Stefanie realized that God has a better plan for her. [06:52] She had to understand that God wanted the best for her and his plan was better even though there was pain. [07:38] In 2009, Stefanie's son was diagnosed with mucopolysaccharidoses or MPS. They were devastated to find out that their son's health would continue to regress. She then found out that her 3-month old daughter also had it. [12:45] Her daughter had a different sub-type. [14:07] Stefanie watched her newly diagnosed children laugh and play, and she decided that these diseases were not going to get the better of them. [14:30] Stefanie realized in that moment, her kids were still alive, and she was going to make the most of it and trust in the lord. [14:53] Because these diseases were genetic, there was a 25% chance any new children would have it. [15:39] They pursued every angle to safely add a children to their family. They then surrendered to God, and Stefanie got pregnant. Her newest daughter didn't have it and isn't a carrier. [17:01] She realized she would have to live in a world where she held typical and terminal intention. [18:39] We can choose to focus on the things in life that aren't broken. [19:12] Stefanie's son passed away when he was 11 years old. [19:20] Her nine-year-old daughter Brooklyn passed away eight months later. [19:33] They lost both children within 8 months. [20:22] The blessing underneath the pain was that Stefanie knew that her time was limited and made the most of it. [22:19] If we don't learn how to integrate the laughter with the sorrow, I don't know how we would do it. You can't compartmentalize grief, it just becomes part of your story. [23:35] Some of the most difficult things that God brings us through are also some of the most amazing gifts. We can now see things that we didn't see before. [25:59] I can either choose to bring purpose to my pain and use it to help other people, or I can just look at all of the darkness and how bad it sucks. [28:50] Gold plate grit. The strong are the ones who watch the process of healing. [31:21] Every good story has a middle ground, and that is why the redemption story at the end is so good. [33:00] If we surrender and ask God to show us, there is beauty to be found. [33:31] Surrender and ask God to take control. Surrender and ask God give you the eyes to see. [37:02] You don't have to be on the other side of your pain to start seeing beautiful things. [38:25] It's easy to feel sorry for yourself, but it's about surrender and making something beautiful. [39:36] A lot of it is about making a choice. [40:44] Grief can be like a wave you can feel it wash over you, but you will be better and stronger on the other side of it. [42:20] No one can help the grieving like those that are grieving. [43:41] War wounds and scars are things that we have in common. [45:54] The most important thing you can do to help people that are going through grief is to let them speak about their loved ones and say their names. [46:07] We are so afraid to bring up grief and pain, but by saying their names we honor the life that they lived. [49:00] I will always associate Stefanie as being joyful. [50:45] Stefanie answers the three rapid fire questions.
Links and Resources:Podcast Web Page Facebook Page @MsMelissaRadke on Instagram @msmelissaradke on Twitter This Sucks But God Is Good (online course) Eat Cake. Be Brave. Eat Cake. Be Brave. Book Club How to Take Your Marriage From Here to There Audio Download Singles Love Letter Rising Strong by Brene Brown Blessed Be Your Name by Matt Redman What Is Sanfilippo Syndrome? What is mucopolysaccharidoses?
To Mind Own Self Be TrueOrdinary People. Ordinary Things. with Melissa Radke add
2019 is about body, mind, and soul. These three topics are connected within all of us, because you can’t change one without affecting the other. I am so excited to focus on these topics. I know in 2020, when I look back at this year, I will see a healthier, happier, more hopeful me.
The first few weeks of this podcast were focused on the body. Now it’s time to focus on the mind. This is a very special and personal topic for me. For years, I was a victim to my own thoughts. What we think about is what we become. This topic is so important that I recorded this episode, thought about it for a week, and then did it all over again.
This is a topic that I have lived and can speak about from the heart. In this episode, I talk about retraining our minds, not believing lies others tell us, not believing lies we tell ourselves, and what a difference our thoughts can make in our lives. This topic is so important to me that I’m even creating a course around it.
You can find Melissa here:
Show Notes[06:33] There were times when I was an enemy to my own self whether it was believing I was too good or believing that I was nothing. [06:49] It's difficult to train our minds. [07:46] The way we do everything from parenting to work is based on the things that we think. [08:40] I can't negate the importance of what goes on in our minds. Even the scriptures tell us to think of good things and things that are lovely. [09:09] What we process in our minds is what we choose to let in, and this creates the words that come out of our mouths. [10:48] My depression was a mind issue for me. In my mind, there was a war raging for my thoughts and my life. [11:37] I had to change my focus and my thoughts. I had to write sentences and put them around my house. [12:11] We are believing lies and not just lies from the people who spoke them but also from ourselves. [12:31] So many of us have had negative things spoken to us as children. Why do we believe the hate? [13:49] I remember things people said to me, and I remember my go to lines. [13:55] Why am I trying to lose weight? Girls like me can't lose weight? [16:13] I did not realize the power my own thoughts had over my life. If I thought I would fail in a certain situation, I would. [16:37] When I put the work into changing the thoughts in my head, my life changed. [17:25] I spent years replacing every single lie in my mind with the truth. I spent years fighting for my life and my mind. [18:14] It's so important that you understand that your thoughts control your life that I am creating a course about it. [19:59] There is nothing you believe, that you haven't given yourself permission to believe. [23:31] Stop waging war on yourself and thinking things are never going to change and things are never going to get better. [24:21] "Whenever you hear opportunity knocking just know that on the other side of it is work." Brendon Burchard [24:24] You have an opportunity to change the way you think, and we are going to do it together. [26:02] We are going to remove one lie at a time and replace it with something positive. Like pulling weeds and replacing them with flowers. [29:17] I want you to know that I'm mad at you for being an enemy to yourself. Why can't you see yourself Like Jesus does? [32:26] I take every thought I have, and I make it sit down and shut up if it doesn't align with the truth that I know to be about me.
Links and Resources:Podcast Web Page Facebook Page @MsMelissaRadke on Instagram @msmelissaradke on Twitter This Sucks But God Is Good (online course) Eat Cake. Be Brave. Eat Cake. Be Brave. Book Club How to Take Your Marriage From Here to There Audio Download Singles Love Letter The Life Coach School - “How to Feel Better”
BodyliciousOrdinary People. Ordinary Things. with Melissa Radke add
Theresa Grecco has been one of my closest friends for 20 years. Theresa recently bought a practice from a woman who is retiring. Her business is killing it, and she has clients who are raving about her. I've been a little curious and have been wanting to see what she does. I flew to Nashville, where Theresa lives and works, to try it for myself. I even recorded it for you.
In case you're wondering,Theresa is a colon hydrotherapist. I know you're thinking that this isn't the type of therapy that you thought I needed. The reason I'm sharing this experience is because everyone I told about this said they wanted to know more. What you’re about to hear can't be glossed over. It can't be called anything other than what it is. I'll be giving you a first-hand account of what happens when you hop on the table and take your friendship to a whole new level.
You can find Theresa here:
Show Notes[05:55] Water has started going in. [06:56] Now it is being increased to release gas. [07:54] Water is now going into Melissa’s colon. [08:59] The water goes in and then when Theresa releases pressure things get pushed out. [09:59] As the water goes in it breaks up the poop, so it can be released. [10:54] Theresa had digestive issues. A doctor suggested she try colon hydrotherapy. [11:30] She didn't want to do it, but she felt a big relief after the first visit. [11:59] We all have mucus to facilitate going poop and to protect us from our stomach acid. [12:41] Cloudy water can be a sign of candida. [13:11] After they flush everything out, they put the good bacteria back in. [15:03] Candida can double in size in a half an hour with one dose of sugar. [15:16] Colon hydrotherapy is great for people who suffer from constipation or diarrhea, candida, are coming down with a cold or flu, people who've consumed excessive food or alcohol, and people who have been flying. [16:19] This therapy can actually help you get unblocked physically and emotionally. [18:56] Each session takes between 45 minutes and an hour and 15 minutes. [19:38] The left side of our body is where the more solid poop is. [20:15] There are great benefits to doing coffee enemas. Theresa also encourages her clients to do coffee enemas at home. [21:14] Benefits include healing the colon, rebuilding the liver, reducing pain, eliminating parasites, helping with depression, improving mental clarity, improving energy, helping digestion, releasing toxins, and more. [21:45] David is in the room doing the recording, but he is as far away as he can possibly be. [22:30] It's recommended to start with three sessions in 7 days. Maintenance is once a month. If you are eating healthy and doing coffee enemas, you can skip a couple months. A package of three is $325 and one session is $115. [23:58] It's important to make sure that you eliminate the bad stuff and put the good stuff back in. [25:51] We can hold anger in our liver, and the cleanse can release it. [30:38] The worst part of this whole process for Melissa is that it feels irritating, because it feels like she needs to go to the bathroom. [32:48] One of Theresa's clients lost 8 pounds, afterwards. [34:13] When doing a coffee enema at home run water through your body before you start the coffee. [36:13] Melissa answers Theresa's rapid fire questions for her. [39:08] Melissa went into the experience with an open mind, and she liked it. [39:50] Melissa answers the questions that everyone wants to know about the process.
Links and Resources:Podcast Web Page Facebook Page @MsMelissaRadke on Instagram @msmelissaradke on Twitter This Sucks But God Is Good (online course) Eat Cake. Be Brave. Eat Cake. Be Brave. Book Club How to Take Your Marriage From Here to There Audio Download
I Thought It Was TreadMEALOrdinary People. Ordinary Things. with Melissa Radke add
How can we dedicate this season to the body and not talk about working out? You know me. You know I don't want to talk about this, but today is the day. The one and only Casey Adams is here today. Casey is the perfect guest for this show, because he takes ordinary people and moves them out of their comfort zone and into great held.
Casey is a gym owner, personal trainer, and future Ninja. He is a father of three and husband to a beautiful wife, and they share a strong love for Jesus. He is an adventure seeking, fun loving, and funny guy. He is also fond of his large, crazy sock collection.
You can find Casey here:
Show Notes[03:17] David Radke is also here with Casey. [04:20] Melissa and her cousin were both in one of Casey's spin classes. [06:16] David met Casey when he used to work out regularly. [07:26] Casey's gym is split into three sections.Upfront they have cardio and weights with a kids section on the side. In the middle, they have an American Ninja Warrior ninja gym. In the back, there is a Kids Zone and dedicated party room with an obstacle course in back. [12:13] Done properly, you can make an elliptical a great workout. Casey can't promise it will be fun, but if you're successful at this you will be successful at other things. [14:35] David has always been a fan of working out by himself. He's never been to a class.
[15:04] Some people work better one-on-one and some people like the motivation of a group.
[19:11] You can get Casey's Hitt Treadmill Workout book by contacting him on Facebook.
[19:38] He wrote this book, because his clients were always asking him for workouts. [20:11] There is also a hitt book in the works. [23:03] Some of the exercises in the book just require a person, a treadmill, and the ground. [25:39] Start walking a couple miles every day and work on your diet and work on yourself. [26:30] Gauge your soreness and listen to your body. You want to feel it, but you don't want to eat. [27:40] David talks about how it's important to actually get something accomplished not to set giant goals that you'll never get done. [28:21] Goals need to be realistic and attainable. [28:56] It's more important than ever to have a plan. [29:46] We are all a work in progress and that's where the Mind, Body, and Soul come in. [30:23] The workouts in the hitt book can be done every day, because they change body parts. [31:22] Daisy Fuentes was the most beautiful woman to Melissa when she was in high school. [32:14] Melissa wants to feel better. The best way to start is to ease yourself in and come up with a game plan. [33:07] Starting consists of taking that first step. [35:13] Working out is a choice that you aren't just doing for yourself. It's also for your family. [36:30] When Casey was younger, he had some bad lifestyle choices. Then one of his friend's father passed away, and he decided to get fit and started running. [38:04] Eat better and do some form of exercise, and you will feel better. [39:09] Doing small incremental things each day is the key. [40:42] Melissa is going to be brave and work out this year. [43:08] God has changed Casey's life, and now Casey is changing other people's lives. [43:39] When he started, he knew that God would provide. [46:28] The three last questions.
Links and Resources:Podcast Web Page Facebook Page @MsMelissaRadke on Instagram @msmelissaradke on Twitter This Sucks But God Is Good (online course) Eat Cake. Be Brave. Eat Cake. Be Brave. Book Club Can’t Hurt Me by David Coggins Finish: Give Yourself the Gift of Done The Circle Maker: Praying Circles Around Your Biggest Dreams and Greatest Fears
Breaking Bread and Bad Habits with Amy ReineckeOrdinary People. Ordinary Things. with Melissa Radke add
I had Amy on the show last season. Amy has a beautiful story where she lost over 100 pounds on Weight Watchers. I loved Amy since the moment I met her, but what happened after the interview was intriguing. She told me that she was moving away from Weight Watchers, and that she was learning a new way of eating that allowed her to live happy and free.
This entire season is on body and soul, so Amy is the perfect guest to have back on the show. She struggled for years with poor body image and binge eating disorder. Amy is now sharing her journey with others in hopes of offering hope that our darkest days make us stronger and that God always has a bigger plan. She shares her journey as it ebbs and flows with healthy living, motherhood and faith.
You can find Amy here:
Show Notes[05:07] At the last show, Amy wished she could get pregnant again, and she is now 23 weeks along. She has two boys and is super excited about having a girl. [07:45] Amy started doing StepBet for accountability. She has been hosting them for about a year-and-a-half. [11:26] For Amy, a best case scenario on StepBet is that everyone makes their $40 back. [13:08] Amy lost over 100 pounds on Weight Watchers. [14:36] We shift and change and grow and learn. In the last 6 months Amy's learned a lot about her body. [14:59] Amy doesn't regret going on the Weight Watchers program. She has just learned more about her body. [16:35] The message that Amy wants her kids to know is to treat their bodies kindly and talk about their bodies kindly and feed it the way that it needs to be fed. [17:01] In 2008, Amy went to therapy for binge eating disorder. During this therapy she worked through the 10 principles of Intuitive Eating. [17:37] These principles are things like honor your hunger, feel your fullness, and reject the diet mentality. [17:55] These beliefs are so ingrained in Amy's head that it's a process she still has to work through everyday. [19:09] We have the innate ability to listen to our own fullness and hunger cues. [20:27] Amy started dieting in fourth grade. She looked for outside sources to tell her when and what to eat instead of looking inside to herself. [21:09] Amy is perfecting intuitive eating by listening to her body right now while she is pregnant. [23:37] Weight loss isn't the goal for intuitive eating. Although, it doesn't mean that you won't lose weight. [26:13] When you fix your head, you can then appreciate your body for what it is and what it can do. [28:56] People don't always like change, Amy switching her eating perspective has attracted push back from some people. [29:32] She was so focused on a number. She didn't even realize it until she stepped away from Weight Watchers. [31:05] She decided to break the chains and not allow anyone to tell her what is healthy for her body. [32:01] Women need to learn that there is a way to get to a place of body neutrality. [32:39] Her why is playing with her kids and getting through her pregnancy in a healthy way. [33:27] Putting focus on your body will feed your mind and your soul, because they are all interconnected. [35:55] Being hyper focused on your weight doesn't leave room for other things that will actually bring you joy and happiness. [37:41] Amy learned that she needed more sleep and more water. She also craves vegetables. [42:46] Going down the path of intuitive eating needs to be something that you are ready for. Amy wants people to see that their worth is more than just their weight. [45:17] Rapid questions about Amy...
Links and Resources:Podcast Web Page Facebook Page @MsMelissaRadke on Instagram @msmelissaradke on Twitter This Sucks But God Is Good (online course) Eat Cake. Be Brave. Eat Cake. Be Brave. Book Club Chronic Dieting: What It Is + Why It’s A Problem Beautifully Broken Journey With Amy Reinecke StepBet Intuitive Eating, 2nd Edition: A Revolutionary Program That Works
Odd(ly) EnoughOrdinary People. Ordinary Things. with Melissa Radke add
Sometimes when we see a funny video that makes us laugh, we don't bother to take into account that there is a real person behind that video. When we read a book, sometimes we forget that a real person poured their heart and soul into that book.
Some people think that I am in the business of social media, or a speaker, or an author. I am really in the business of people. The business of hearing their stories and telling my story. I am in the business of convincing people that their story is powerful and purposeful.
My guest today has a powerful story. CA Miljavac is someone who I discovered by watching one of her hilarious videos. I then got to know her and realized that there is so much more to her than her fun videos. I learned that CA stands for Carol Ann and that her story doesn’t match her videos.
You can find CA here:
Show Notes[02:52] My friend CA Miljavac is here today. CA's story doesn't match her videos. [03:08] Her videos are fun. Her stories not so much. [03:30] In her first book, CA shares how her childhood, her loss, and her grief shaped who she is today. [04:25] People have finally gotten tired of how fake social media can be. Realness is now more popular. [05:58] When CA made her video dancing to Salt N Pepa, she had no idea it was going to go viral. She built a social media following by accident. [07:19] A year prior to this, CA had made a decision to give her life back to God. She had been devastated by the loss of her niece to cancer. [07:48] CA has had several viral videos since the first one. Her favorite video is her house cleaning video. [09:14] CA grew up in a tiny town called Jasper, Alabama. She grew up in a trailer on the wrong side of the tracks and humor was all she really had. [10:07] Her mom was a single mom raising three kids. Her dad was an alcoholic who left when she was 2 years old. [10:21] They started going to church when she was 8 years old. She had already been through so much including being molested. [10:44] She was rebellious and resentful by this time. [11:30] Going to church also made her mom become really strict. [11:54] CA thought it was important that she put everything out there. [12:39] CA could also relate to some of Melissa's experiences when she read her book. [13:50] Some people can get defensive with forgiveness when you are taking away their hate and anger. [14:37] CA what is a Beachbody Coach. [14:53] She thought her social platform was health and fitness, but it turned out it was really about her story. [17:58] CA started each chapter of her book with a story from her childhood. [18:08] She went swimming and jumped into the deep end when she knew she couldn't swim. As a child, being molested made her feel like she was dirty. [18:37] She would entertain people by being silly. It was a distraction for her. [19:06] If someone gets to know you too well, they might discover the monsters you have in your closet. [19:27] The centerpiece of CA's book was about her niece's battle and ultimate loss from cancer. [19:39] This completely changed everything for her. If CA would not have been so incredibly broken, she never would have allowed got in the way that she did. [20:06] She was 8 months pregnant, and she went to St Jude to visit her sister and her niece. [20:28] When she got home all of her feelings and emotions hit her. [20:41] She has her best thoughts and prayers and conversations with God in her car in the garage. She was bawling her eyes out and praying. Suddenly, the car was filled with love and peace. [20:56] It dawned on her in that moment that she was loved and that her niece was loved. [21:39] The things that made her feel like an outsider were actually the things she needed to be the person that she is and fulfill her calling. [23:21] Our scars tell a story. [23:47] CA has taken her scars and turned them into a powerful word for women. [25:31] CA wanted her book to be a book that had the potential to truly change someone's future going forward. [26:37] CA's book is titled Odd(ly) Enough. This book didn't come from her, it came from God. She was just the messenger. [27:56] CA hopes that women walk away from her book with an understanding of who they truly are and how their trials and tribulations have given them character and shaped who they are. God will use all of these bad things for your good. [29:20] CA is learning to ask for help when she needs it, set boundaries, and believe that she can do what God says she can do. [30:22] The enemy can't read our minds. [32:26] Thinking outside of the box with the lightning round. [32:41] CA loves her sister. [33:00] She is currently binging on baking shows. [33:36] She doesn't understand why ramen noodles taste so good.
Links and Resources:Podcast Web Page Facebook Page @MsMelissaRadke on Instagram @msmelissaradke on Twitter This Sucks But God Is Good (online course) Eat Cake. Be Brave. Eat Cake. Be Brave. Book Club Beachbody Mike Foster Audible Trial
Body Talk II…Ordinary People. Ordinary Things. with Melissa Radke add
This episode is for adults only. If your little ones are in the car put their headphones on them. Listen to this episode first before listening to it with your teenager. Katherine Diggs was my guest last season on episode 15. I wasn't going to have her back. She talked about oral sex, and the show made me sweat, but everybody loved her.
Katherine is a genuinely nice person and a wonderful podcast guest. You can ask her questions about anything and she'll answer. She is also extremely smart. Katherine Diggs is a nurse practitioner who specializes in all things female. She is here today to talk about us, our health, teens and sex.
You can find Melissa here:
Show Notes[03:14] Katherine and I go to the same church, and we both feel called to the world. [04:59] Sex is like the economy when the price of it goes down it is cheap. [05:23] Kids as young as 13 are having sexual experiences. [07:24] The stats from 2001 to now have changed dramatically about people's attitudes towards sex and sexual behavior. [08:36] Mental health issues for children have been going up, and there's a direct link to the access of technology. [10:08] It's important to make your rules according to your own kids. Some kids won't have any problem with technology others may go down a deep dark well. [10:16] Kids aren't learning how to engage in real relationships. They are often just engaging sexually. [10:49] Kids are spending hours upon hours on iPads. When they try to navigate and have a real authentic relationship, they don't have the skills to do it. [11:02] How can we rewind and make relationships meaningful again for children? [12:03] If we could teach abstinence and it worked that would be great. Unless those kids come from really good homes where the parents are saying the same thing, it just doesn't work. [15:45] The most common theme for questions asked after Katherine's school lectures are about same-sex relationships. [20:36] There needs to be boundaries and strong hard rules about keeping your hands to yourself. [22:15] Parents need to set up boundaries with their kids for sex. [26:07] It's normal for adolescent kids to relate to the same sex. This year there seems to be a trend with kids thinking same-sex relationships are cool. [28:32] Education is huge in every aspect of our life and the more you know about something the better. [31:17] Educate your kids on the basics and then listen and be really honest with them. [33:43] We have got to instill value on the human body. [35:05] You need to know your kid. 50% of every pregnancy is unplanned. [35:43] Katherine tries to educate moms and kids. [36:31] It's far better to be prepared and to prevent an unplanned pregnancy. Make a decision based on your child's personality. [38:56] If your teen thinks contraception is a free pass then there was some groundwork that wasn't laid. [39:32] HPV vaccine is recommended. [41:36] HIV is still prevalent. It can be caused by teens or anybody having unprotected sex. [44:31] Masturbation comes back to intention. Some people can become addicted. Does it keep you from other healthy activities. [50:42] This was a hard topic, but I'm glad Katherine was here to help me talk about it. [51:36] Katherine answers the lightning round questions. [54:02] If you don't talk to your kids about sex, someone else will. [55:26] Katherine has a program called Living in Truth.
Links and Resources:Podcast Web Page Facebook Page @MsMelissaRadke on Instagram @msmelissaradke on Twitter This Sucks But God Is Good (online course) Eat Cake. Be Brave. Eat Cake. Be Brave. Book Club How to Talk to Your Kids About Sex Without Crying Books by Mark Batterson of Focus on the Family LIT/Living in Truth
We Just Want to Be SeenOrdinary People. Ordinary Things. with Melissa Radke add
Johnna Hensley is someone who I immediately liked when I met her. She's super kind. She laughs at my jokes. She's easy to talk to. She's a good listener and a deep thinker. She also loves her family fiercely. Johnna and her husband Ryan have three children. One of them is special needs. She is a mother living in two different worlds right under the same roof. I wonder how she does it. I'm so excited to have Johnna on the show to find out.
Johnna Hensley is a native Texan, a writer, and a lost sinner who found hope and redemption in Jesus. She is the wife of an energetic and giving man, and a homeschooling mother to three wild and sweet little boys. Her life is nothing as she expected it would be, but finding beauty in the broken is what makes it worth living.
You can find Johnna Hensley here:
Show Notes[04:12] Johnna made a video with her son Hayden. They did a CrossFit parody. [07:28] Johnna's son Hayden has spina bifida and he has a tracheotomy to breathe. [07:40] He sleeps with a ventilator at night. [09:00] Johnna and Melissa went on a hayride. [09:58] Johnna has three boys. She took her sons to a pumpkin patch. She carried Hayden to the hayride. His issues are physical, but his mind is on point. [15:27] At about 18 weeks, they found out there might be a problem with their baby. He had spina bifida which means the spinal cord did not close all the way. Johnna and Ryan were 24 years old. Their entire world crashed into the ground. [19:57] We declared that this doesn't change anything and we aren't going to treat him differently. [21:35] Johnna was against having more kids. She heard from God that what ever baby he gave her it was his glory not hers. [23:20] She had her second son, and he was perfectly healthy. Her third was her bonus baby. [24:54] Raising the boys is like being in two different worlds. [27:14] They booked a Disney cruise and Hayden was sick. They didn't know what to do. Her neighbor assured her it was okay to leave Hayden and take the other kids on the cruise. She felt really guilty. Then they actually had fun. [30:07] It's challenging for Johnna and her husband to make sure that they are doing enough for everybody. [33:01] There can be resentment for some of the children. Sibshops helps siblings of special needs kids. There is a camp for siblings of special needs children. [35:01] Now that Hayden is older, he is honest about how he feels about the situation. [39:16] There was a time when I was taking things out on Ryan. Then we implemented Sunday family meetings and lay everything out so that the logistics are all on paper. [40:32] We have a night nurse that comes in at 7 pm. It's kind of weird trying to catch up on your day when there is someone else in your home. [42:06] It's challenging for Johnna to have other people in her home when she is trying to unwind. It's something she's still getting used to. [42:37] Johnna and Ryan understand each other on a level that will never change. There are some things no one else will ever get. [44:16] To keep the romance alive Johnna and Ryan also tried Date Night In which was a gift from a friend. [46:15] Johnna goes to the school answers questions about Hayden's condition, and she is writing a book. They decided to be real honest with the kids and get it all out in the open. [47:57] It's perfectly lovely for a child to ask Hayden his name and ask what is the story with the chair. [49:22] Hayden has taken Johnna out of her comfort zone. She calls him the VIP. [51:35] Mom's struggling, need to find their tribe, even if it is through a Facebook group. Special needs parents just get it. [54:48] Being a special needs mom is like canoeing up your driveway every day while everyone else gets to drive. Sometimes you need to throw a special needs mom a paddle and help them. [55:42] A friend inviting themselves over for game night is one of the nicest things that someone has done. [59:54] Johnna answers Melissa's lightning round questions.
Links and Resources:Podcast Web Page Facebook Page @MsMelissaRadke on Instagram @msmelissaradke on Twitter This Sucks But God Is Good (online course) Eat Cake. Be Brave. Eat Cake. Be Brave. Book Club Date Night In Kodas Kamp The SibsShops
Don’t MIND Me, It’s Just the Season 2 PremiereOrdinary People. Ordinary Things. with Melissa Radke add
Welcome to season 2 of the Ordinary People Ordinary Things podcast. I loved doing the first season so much that we are doing another round. Now that I have one season down, the second season is going to be better than ever. I will be telling the stories that I’ve always wanted to tell.
These stories will be told by people who I’ve learned the most from in my life. Ordinary people like you and me. We will be breaking the season down into three sections of body, mind, and soul. Next week kicks off with a special guest as we start with the body topic.
You can find Melissa here:
Show Notes[03:52] I am so excited about season 2. I'm going to tell the stories that I've always wanted to tell. Those stories are going to be about ordinary People, because the best lessons I've ever learned in my life are from ordinary people like you and me. [04:34] This season you are going to hear from some really amazing people with some really amazing stories. [05:02] If you want to hear how ordinary people like you and I have rebounded from the same heartbreaks, then do I have a podcast for you. [05:26] Eat Cake Be Brave was born on July 17th. Something shifted in me the day that the book was released. I felt so vulnerable or metaphorically exposed. [06:39] This was one of the scariest and loneliest that I've ever felt in my life. So then, I dove in head-first into a television show. [07:00] The more exposed I became the more acutely aware I became of the need to protect and heal myself. [07:31] I became more aware of my shortcomings and brokenness maybe more than ever before. [07:46] I started journaling again, seeing my counselor, reading books that help me, and finding quiet time to pray. [08:20] If I don't figure out why I do the things that I do now, will I ever? [08:33] I have to handle myself gently, but I do have to handle myself. [10:05] You may not learn how to parent your children or run on a budget from me, but you will always see me try to be kinder and try to be more patient. [10:59] If there's something you want to do, you should just try. [11:36] Our body, our mind and our souls are all intricately connected. [12:55] Nothing can make you happy unless it's done with the other two. [13:37] What good is it to have it all if your soul isn't healthy. [14:29] This season is going to be divided into three parts. Body, mind, and soul. Each focus area will consist of a few weeks. [14:41] We will have guests to make you think, make you cry, and we will make you laugh your head off. [15:03] The first topic is our bodies. [18:47] Here's to an incredible Season 2 of Ordinary People Ordinary Things. I'm excited.
Links and Resources:Podcast Web Page Facebook Page @MsMelissaRadke on Instagram @msmelissaradke on Twitter This Sucks But God Is Good (online course) Eat Cake. Be Brave. Eat Cake. Be Brave. Book Club
We've Been Married A Hella Long TimeOrdinary People. Ordinary Things. with Melissa Radke add
David and I have been married 24 years. That’s a hella long time. Today, my guest is none other than the attorney general himself, David Radke. We take on your questions about our lives and our marriage. Some of these questions are in response to my book Eat Cake. Be Brave. Some are in response to our struggles with infertility and our marriage relationship including broken trust. I hope David is ready to go there.
David shares his background and why the attorney general is a fitting nickname. We share some fun facts about our history and our marriage. We also talk about forgiveness, going through the rough times, changing seasons, and finding your partner's love language. We also share why we are going on a brief hiatus from the podcast, but promise to be back. I want to share some of your stories, so please keep sending them in.You can find Melissa here: Eat Cake. Be Brave called "Lovers and Leavers". [11:51] They have no regrets about putting the stories in the book. [12:09] How do you rebuild trust with your husband? [13:24] The grieving and loss made us different people. [14:07] Repairing the bridge has been a long process with a lot of counseling and a lot of rebuilding. [16:35] What boundaries did Melissa and David said early on to protect their marriage? [16:45] They got married at 20 years old. They just assumed everything would be great. [19:37] Melissa shares things that she did to try and rebuild her own self-esteem. [20:12] The work Melissa did on herself was actually a benefit for her marriage. [22:11] Melissa bought The Power of a Praying Wife, because she was going to pray for David. [23:06] Melissa put the focus on herself and fixed yourself. [23:15] How to set aside anger and work on the problem. [23:31] Anger is an extremely strong emotion. [24:55] Ask what catches your husband or wife when they fall. Is it a rose bush or a room full of pillows? [25:56] Sometimes we would have to strive every day to out serve each other. [28:01] Finding someone who you are truly and passionately in love with who is also your best friend makes 20 years less of a struggle. [29:13] Being deliberate and intentional and letting your husband know that he is needed. [30:55] The five love languages. Which are time, acts of service, personal touch, words of affirmation, and gifts. [31:58] We need to learn what our partners love languages are and give those to them. [32:57] In this season, David's are time and words of affirmation. [33:42] Melissa's are time and acts of service. [34:25] Do your homework and find out your spouse's love language. [34:49] Little things we do for each other to show our love. [37:20] We can't trade our car Big Darla in. Once you name something, it's yours. [38:54] The snooze button and running late is included in our morning routine. [40:27] David shares his love for going to the Astros game. [41:21] Who is our dream podcast guest? [42:59] Lightning round questions. [46:08] Melissa loves this podcast, and we'll be back. [47:02] Keep sending in your stories, because the world needs your story.
They’re Gonna Know My Name with Guest: Rocco RadkeOrdinary People. Ordinary Things. with Melissa Radke add
Out of all of the podcast episodes that I have hosted, today’s guest is the most excited of all. My special guest today is my son Rocco Radke. My daughter Remi and other family and friends have been on the show. It’s now Rocco’s turn, and he chose today’s topic. We discuss our upcoming family sitcom that will be airing on the USA Network either this fall or early next year.
Having the show is a big decision that will not only affect me and my life, but it will have an effect on my entire family. Today, Rocco and I discuss how he feels about having our family life filmed, and he shares some fears and unique insights. This was a fun show for both of us. We hope you enjoy it as much as we did.You can find Melissa here:
Big, Bad, and Bullied All OverOrdinary People. Ordinary Things. with Melissa Radke add
School is starting, and I’m nervous. Remi is starting middle school. I’m not worried about Remi, I know that she can handle herself. I’m actually worried about how I have done with Remi. There comes a time when we throw are children out into the deep end and see if they can swim. Have we said the right things? Have we taught our children to rescue themselves and to rescue others?
Kids are growing up faster than ever. Changing one kid at a time can help change the culture. My good friend and hairdresser Wendy is on the show today. She has a beautiful and vivacious daughter named Christian who experienced severe bullying at a new school. Wendy shares their story and how they overcame it through the power of forgiveness and God.You can find Melissa here: