Episodes
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I'm taking a break from podcasting so I can focus on myself, family, and working on my next book.
Thank you for your support through the years, and goodbye for now!
Links (affiliates included):
Parenting After Religious Trauma Membership – https://cindy-brandt.mykajabi.com/partmembership
Parenting Forward, the Book – https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn
You Are Revolutionary – https://www.beamingbooks.com/store/product/9781506478302/You-Are-Revolutionary
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EPISODE CREDITS:
If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com. Let them know I sent you. -
Summer is a busy season when you’re in the church. There are lots of family activities going on, childcare to work out, and, of course, VBS.
Because we’re nearing VBS season, I thought it’d be a good time to talk about whether or not you should send your kids to VBS. Even more so, I want to discuss the bigger question of how we can protect our kids from toxic religion. We must learn how to equip our kids to navigate the world of faith and thought beyond our homes and what that may look like in our day-to-day lives.
So, in this episode, I’m going to share all of my thoughts on VBS. Tune in to hear an overview of what exactly VBS is, its purpose and goals, and whether or not I think you should send your kids to it.
A summary of VBS. The evangelical aspects of VBS. Why I find VBS to be predatory. The genuine and positive aspects of VBS. The nuanced aspects of whether or not you should send your kids to VBS. How to prepare your kids if they are going to VBS. How to soothe your own inner child when your kids start getting involved in church activities. How to help your kids spot religious red flags. How to be a good resource to your kids.
Show Highlights:Links (affiliates included):
Help keep the podcast going by joining the Parenting Forward Patreon Team - https://www.patreon.com/cindywangbrandt
Parenting After Religious Trauma Membership - https://cindy-brandt.mykajabi.com/partmembership
Parenting Forward, the Book - https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn
You Are Revolutionary - https://www.beamingbooks.com/store/product/9781506478302/You-Are-Revolutionary
***
EPISODE CREDITS:
If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.
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Missing episodes?
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If you’ve got a child nearing college or already there, this episode is for you.
We’re going to take a critical look at evangelical colleges and universities and analyze the experience they provide our kids. Having attended the evangelical college Wheaton, I have firsthand experience to bring to the table that we’ll discuss throughout today’s show.
Joining me is the host of the Chapel Probation podcast, Scott Okamoto. He grew up in a conservative Christian family but began deconstructing when he went away to college. Eventually, he became a professor at an evangelical university and started to clarify his progressive Christian beliefs. This led to him stepping away and becoming a stay-at-home dad.
Tune in to hear my conversation with Scott on the evangelical college experience from each of our unique perspectives.
Show Highlights:
Scott’s background with evangelicalism. Why he stepped down from his job at APU and became a stay-at-home dad. What inspired him to start his podcast. Where I was at in my faith while attending Wheaton. The paradox of the evangelical college experience. The challenges deconstruction brings to parenting. Why we must love our kids well and then trust them to make the right decisions. Advice for parents thinking about sending their kids to an evangelical college. Advice for students attending an evangelical college right now.Links (affiliates included):
Scott Okamoto Website: https://www.rscottokamoto.com
Parenting After Religious Trauma Membership - https://cindy-brandt.mykajabi.com/partmembership
Help keep the podcast going by joining the Parenting Forward Patreon Team - https://www.patreon.com/cindywangbrandt
Parenting Forward, the Book - https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn1Little
You Are Revolutionary - https://www.beamingbooks.com/store/product/9781506478302/You-Are-Revolutionary
***
EPISODE CREDITS:
If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.
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Ever been triggered by your child’s behavior? It can feel uncontrollable. No matter how hard we try to hold ourselves back when our child behaves a certain way, it immediately puts us into triggered mode.
Jen Lumanlan addressed this in her talk at my recent Parenting is Revolutionary conference. Jen holds an MS in Psychology (Child Development) and is the host of the Your Parenting Mojo podcast. She is an amazing reference guide for parents of young kids and shares great parenting advice based on scientific research and the principles of respectful parenting.
In this episode, I’m sharing a snippet of Jen’s talk from the conference. She shares a little more about her background and experience with parenting triggers and teaches us how to tame these emotions when they come up. This topic is extremely important for parents at this time so tune in to learn from Jen.
Show Highlights:
Where triggered feelings come from. The window of tolerance. Big T trauma and little T trauma. The many different fronts we have to heal on to tame our parenting triggers. How to get more of your daily needs met. How to widen your window of tolerance. Physical habits you can implement to remind yourself to pause. Why it’s important to share our authentic feelings with our children. The different triggers that come with having toddlers, adolescents, and teenagers. What it means to feel flooded.Links (affiliates included):
Jen’s website - https://www.parentingmojo.com/
Parenting is Revolutionary Conference Recordings: https://www.parentingforwardconference.com/2022-sessions
Parenting After Religious Trauma Membership - https://cindy-brandt.mykajabi.com/partmembership
Help keep the podcast going by joining the Parenting Forward Patreon Team - https://www.patreon.com/cindywangbrandt
Parenting Forward, the Book - https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn1Little
You Are Revolutionary - https://www.beamingbooks.com/store/product/9781506478302/You-Are-Revolutionary
***
EPISODE CREDITS:
If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.
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The Parenting is Revolutionary Conference is over! It was an incredible time connecting with other parents and parenting influencers in the online space. I myself learned so much and, though I’m exhausted, I feel so fulfilled by the experience.
Throughout many of the sessions of the conference, childhood trauma was discussed. A question popped up over and over in my mind: if our parents had had the resources we have today and access to information on mental health and validating emotions, would we have all had better childhoods?
I brought my partner in crime Corey Wayne onto the show this week to discuss this. Corey helps me build and maintain the Parenting Forward Conferences and I truly could not do the work that I do without him. Tune in to hear us analyze our own childhoods and more on religious trauma vs. childhood trauma.
Show Highlights:
How parenting styles are a generational thing. Some background on Corey’s childhood. How he discovered his wounds were mainly childhood trauma, not religious trauma. How Corey has mended his relationship with some of his family members. How ending generational trauma is like a wave. How the concept of “breaking toxic cycles” has become combative rather than a means of building community. Why self-compassion is such an important part of healing your inner child. How to balance grief about your past and gratitude that it made you who you are. Some resources Corey loves.Links (affiliates included):
Parenting is Revolutionary Conference Recordings: https://www.parentingforwardconference.com/2022-sessions
Parenting After Religious Trauma Membership - https://cindy-brandt.mykajabi.com/partmembership
Help keep the podcast going by joining the Parenting Forward Patreon Team - https://www.patreon.com/cindywangbrandt
Parenting Forward, the Book - https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn
You Are Revolutionary - https://www.beamingbooks.com/store/product/9781506478302/You-Are-Revolutionary
***
EPISODE CREDITS:
If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.
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One of my favorite people, Hillary McBride, recently posted this on Twitter: “Spiritual trauma is someone handing you an inner critic and telling you it’s the voice of God.”
I love that quote because it paints the picture of religious trauma so well. Trauma doesn’t always have to involve one disastrous event; it can be the result of the script we were given in childhood that stuck with us.
Matthew Paul Turner is a children’s author who does amazing work towards reversing that harmful script. He is trying to put a better story into the hearts and minds of children, specifically using the language and vocabulary of God.
Matthew is joining us on this episode of Parenting Forward to discuss some of his best-selling books. We also talk about how parents can give their kids a better script. If we don’t want our children to have to rewrite their scripts or “recover from God” in adulthood, we must be proactive about introducing them to God the right way now.
Show Highlights:
The script I was given as a child about God. The damage that harmful script does to children’s brains. The gossip chain that develops in fundamental communities. Why it’s so hard for us deconstructed believers to accept compliments or love ourselves. How our body holds trauma. Why Matthew didn’t write evangelical books. How children's books can benefit adults too. What it was like for Matthew to write his most recent book, I Am God’s Dream, right after coming out. How I Am God’s Dream teaches kids to be happy with their bodies. The importance of genuine apologies.Links (affiliates included):
Matthew Paul Turner - https://matthewpaulturner.com
Parenting is Revolutionary Conference: https://www.parentingforwardconference.com
Register with the discount code: PFPOD for 20% off!
Parenting After Religious Trauma Membership - https://cindy-brandt.mykajabi.com/partmembership
Help keep the podcast going by joining the Parenting Forward Patreon Team - https://www.patreon.com/cindywangbrandt
Parenting Forward, the Book - https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn
***
EPISODE CREDITS:
If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.
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Parenting is revolutionary because it not only changes your perspective as a parent but it also impacts your perspective of your kids. Parenting is not just for parents but for anyone who wants to see a better world, not only for the children but for all of us that co-exist. Parenting is revolutionary because it changes us. It evolves us and it demands that we become better people.
In this episode, we talk about the five reasons why parenting is revolutionary. One essential thing to note is how parenting teaches us to manage our triggers because the things our kids do that tend to push our buttons aren’t necessarily our kids’ fault. Instead, they are triggering something inside of us that needs healing, perhaps a past traumatic experience or simply the everyday trauma of living in an unkind world. Just the mere resurfacing of what needs to be healed inside of us is revolutionary!
Show Highlights:
Learning and unlearning relationship habits Re-parenting our inner child Preventing childhood adverse effects Managing your triggers Drawing better boundaries between your issues and your children's behavior Being parents to our society’s children If only adults could just play more… What to expect from the Parenting is Revolutionary ConferenceLinks (affiliates included):
Parenting is Revolutionary Conference: https://www.parentingforwardconference.com
Register with the discount code: PFPOD for 20% off!!
Parenting After Religious Trauma Membership - https://cindy-brandt.mykajabi.com/partmembership
Help keep the podcast going by joining the Parenting Forward Patreon Team - https://www.patreon.com/cindywangbrandt
Parenting Forward, the Book - https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn1Little
You Are Revolutionary - https://www.beamingbooks.com/store/product/9781506478302/You-Are-Revolutionary
***
EPISODE CREDITS:
If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know I sent you.
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Since the pandemic, the world of Christian faith deconstruction exploded into this wonderful kaleidoscope of podcasters and influencers, including the Dirty Rotten Church Kids, Adrian and Josh, who both left their faith but continued to forge and nurture a solid friendship beyond the walls of the church.
Once you leave the church that has become a foundational and formative part of your identity, it leaves you with that sense that you no longer have a community or you don't have anyone to talk to. If you’re like many people who want to keep their relationships because they can't stand the thought of being lonely, you may end up keeping your friends from toxic pasts who don’t really love you for who you are. Because if they did, then it wouldn’t matter to them if you left your faith or stopped believing in certain things.
In this episode, Adrian and Josh talk about life after church, leaving the religious baggage, and how they approach parenting in a way that’s totally different from how their parents had raised them.
Show Highlights:
The birth of the Dirty Rotten Church Kids podcast How they managed to maintain their friendship outside of the church The biggest parenting issues they’re facing Learning to love ourselves and finding our values Not everything has to have eternal consequences Being open to your kids about your own baggage Cutting the cords with people you don’t resonate with A chosen family that’s involved in your kids’ upbringingLinks (affiliates included):
My appearance on the DRCK Podcast - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/security-and-clarity-w-cindy-wang-brandt/id1487820978?i=1000498263787
DRCK on my Parenting Conference, alongside Your Favorite Heretics and Jo Luehmann - https://www.parentingforwardconference.com/parenting-after-deconstruction
Parenting After Religious Trauma Membership - https://cindy-brandt.mykajabi.com/partmembership
Help keep the podcast going by joining the Parenting Forward Patreon Team - https://www.patreon.com/cindywangbrandt
Parenting Forward, the Book - https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn1Little
You Are Revolutionary - https://www.beamingbooks.com/store/product/9781506478302/You-Are-Revolutionary
***
EPISODE CREDITS:
If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know I sent you.
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The stigma of having an abortion is still rampant, especially among highly conservative people of faith. This led to Katey Zeh’s passion for navigating how to bridge these two worlds. It is important to provide care and compassion to those who decide to go through abortion because, at its core, abortion is still part of the human experience.
Statistically, most people who have abortions are already parents. And oftentimes, it is a parenting decision they need to make to care for their living children. A lot of times, these are people who have caregiving responsibilities. Regardless of whether people should have access to it, it's just important to recognize that most people who have abortions are parents.
On the other hand, some people choose not to ever have kids. And unless they know that they won't be stigmatized, harassed, and pressured by society, only then is that choice made out of enthusiastic consent.
In this episode, Katey Zeh talks about her new book, A Complicated Choice. Katey is an author, speaker, and strategist. She is the Chief Executive Officer of the Religious Coalition for Reproductive Choice, and she talks frequently about the intersection of faith and activism.
Show Highlights:
How Katey got involved in advocating for abortion The role of crisis pregnancy centers The disconnect between doctrines and the way we experience human life The need to flex our compassion muscles Abortion out of a parenting decision Making sense of the experience through having that space to process and having access to their needs Minimizing the grief that comes from abortion Acknowledging abortion as a human experienceLinks (affiliates included):
A Complicated Choice: https://www.broadleafbooks.com/store/product/9781506473499/A-Complicated-Choice
Parenting After Religious Trauma Membership:
https://cindy-brandt.mykajabi.com/partmembership
Help keep the podcast going by joining the Parenting Forward Patreon Team: https://www.patreon.com/cindywangbrandt
Parenting Forward, the Book:
https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn
You Are Revolutionary:
https://www.beamingbooks.com/store/product/9781506478302/You-Are-Revolutionary
***
EPISODE CREDITS:
If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.
He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.
Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com
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Growing up in a religious and Asian household, I had very little sex education, if any, and it was mainly about purity culture. And it has only been in the past two years that I've actually delved into demolishing such sex-negativity. Last month, I ran a webinar on sex-positive parenting with Melissa Pintor Carnagey and I got to check off some of the toxic ideas of purity culture and reframe them with what I've learned from Melissa and other wonderful sex educators. And so today, I wanted to share it with our wider podcast audience. It's so important that we're opening up these conversations about sex with our kids to help them make informed choices.
Melissa is the founder of Sex-Positive Families, which provides resources to give children holistic, comprehensive, and shame-free sexuality education so they can live informed, empowered, and safer lives. She is an expert in sexual health education and a mother of three. She currently runs a fantastic online course called Growing Into You which provides gender-inclusive puberty education for kids ages 8-12.
Show Highlights:
Deciding for yourself what sex means and giving other people the agency to decide for themselves Early ongoing sexual health education provides more context as kids grow Virginity as a construct is self-negative. Reframing the language suggesting self-negative ideas Self-pleasure as a human right and being able to reclaim your own body Reframing fear-based narratives around pornography Redefining porn and having a more nuanced conversation about porn Discerning how porn affects us Seeking age-congruent and age-relevant resources Sexuality is not synonymous with sex Co-parenting with a sex-negative parent Recognizing boundaries and safer ways to learn about sex How to talk to kids about sex when they’re not interested How to help teens decide when to have sex A mindset shift from preventing things we can't control to preparing our young people for safer and more satisfying experiencesLinks (affiliates included):
Growing Into You (Gender-Inclusive Puberty Education for Ages 8-12) - https://sex-positive-families.mykajabi.com/?ref=https%3A%2F%2Fsex-positive-families.mykajabi.com%2Fa%2F2147492303%2F27YazHpV
Parenting After Religious Trauma Membership - https://cindy-brandt.mykajabi.com/partmembership
Help keep the podcast going by joining the Parenting Forward Patreon Team - https://www.patreon.com/cindywangbrandt
Parenting Forward, the Book - https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn
You Are Revolutionary - https://www.beamingbooks.com/store/product/9781506478302/You-Are-Revolutionary
***
EPISODE CREDITS:
If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.
He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.
Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com
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For years now, I have been on a journey of healing from religious trauma. My inspiration through it all has been to become a better person for both myself and all of the people around me, including my children. Because of this pursuit, I’ve always been on the lookout for people who help others resolve their childhood and religious trauma (which I’ve now come to realize is complex trauma).
So, today, I am extremely excited to bring on a guest who does just that. Dr. Tanner Wallace is the host of the Relational Healing podcast. She is also a mentor and a community builder for those with childhood trauma. Through her history of childhood trauma and extensive professional training, Dr. Tanner has developed groundbreaking new ways of healing from trauma.
In this episode, we get into some of the science of trauma and talk about all things regarding being trauma-informed. Specifically, we get into why religious trauma can be so particularly damaging and how to heal and move forward from it. Tune in to learn some amazing insights and healing tips from Dr. Tanner Wallace.
Show Highlights:
Dr. Tanner’s story. Why becoming trauma-informed is the key to healing. Why religious trauma is complex trauma. How complex trauma forces us to develop multiple personalities. Why some wounds develop into trauma while others don’t. Why we need to develop a secure attachment with ourselves. How religious trauma makes us doubt our own authority. Why just physically leaving the church won’t heal our religious trauma. How to figure out what needs to be dropped completely from your religious past and what just needs to be adapted. Why shame is so particularly damaging and traumatic. Practices for developing secure internal and external attachments. Connecting all of this to parenting.Links (affiliates included):
Dr. Tanner Wallace’s IG - https://www.instagram.com/drtannerwallace/?hl=en
Parenting After Religious Trauma Membership - https://cindy-brandt.mykajabi.com/partmembership
Help keep the podcast going by joining the Parenting Forward Patreon Team - https://www.patreon.com/cindywangbrandt
Parenting Forward, the Book - https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn1Little
You Are Revolutionary - https://www.beamingbooks.com/store/product/9781506478302/You-Are-Revolutionary
***
EPISODE CREDITS:
If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.
He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.
Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com
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As many of you know, I've been investing a lot recently in my new community. It’s called Parenting After Religious Trauma and, in it, we explore the impact of childhood trauma and specifically religious trauma. We discuss the impact that it has on the rest of our adult lives and parenting.
This all comes back to one of my core beliefs, the thesis of my book Parenting Forward: if we change the way we parent, we can change the world. As time goes on, I only become more and more convinced of this truth. It becomes more and more evident that so much of what happens in our childhood determines the kind of person, neighbor, friend, partner, parent, and citizen that we become.
So today, I have Dr. Carol Scott on the show to talk all about this. Dr. Carol is a TEDx speaker and author of two books. Her expertise is in childhood trauma and how that impacts relationships which she believes is the foundation of success in so many areas of our lives. Tune in to join in on our incredible conversation.
Show Highlights:
Dr. Carol’s journey of realizing the impact her childhood trauma had on her adult life. Why 5-7 years old is a critical time for setting social and relational patterns. How trust issues can develop when we’re infants. The difference between unlearning and rewiring our brain patterns. Why healing has to start with admitting that what you experienced in childhood was not okay. How to intentionally nurture our kids’ development and emotions without being paranoid about harming them. Why our priority should be making our kids feel seen. How being trauma-informed helps us having better relationships in adulthood. How to figure out your needs and ask for them to be met.Links (affiliates included):
Dr. Carol’s email: [email protected]
Dr. Carol’s socials: https://www.facebook.com/Dr.L.CarolScott/
Parenting After Religious Trauma Membership - https://cindy-brandt.mykajabi.com/partmembership
Help keep the podcast going by joining the Parenting Forward Patreon Team - https://www.patreon.com/cindywangbrandt
Parenting Forward, the Book - https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn1Little
You Are Revolutionary - https://www.beamingbooks.com/store/product/9781506478302/You-Are-Revolutionary
***
EPISODE CREDITS:
If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.
He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.
Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com
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Many of us begin our parenting journey not really knowing what we’re doing. We tell ourselves we’ll be fine just winging it and then quickly realize we will not be fine at all.
This is especially true when it comes to discipline. We know a one-size-fits-all approach to discipline won’t work but aren’t sure how to give our kids the freedom to be exactly who they are.
This is exactly what twin sisters Hannah and Kelty experienced and now help other parents navigate. Hannah and Kelty are the founders of Upbringing, and, above all else, moms. They began Upbringing three years ago to advocate for consent-based, shame-free styles of parenting. As a part of their movement, they teach parents how to use powers beyond control in their daily discipline.
In this episode, we talk about all of this. Hannah and Kelty teach us how to honor our children and their uniqueness, especially when it comes to helping them through their big feelings and challenging behaviors. Tune in to learn more!
Show Highlights:
How Upbringing came to be. Why we should talk about kids on a spectrum of diversity that’s related to their sensitivity and spiritedness. What sensitivity and spiritedness mean. Why we need to accept our kids exactly as they are. How to simultaneously self-regulate and teach your children how to regulate themselves. How to navigate your resentment towards your kids’ freedom. How to teach your kids to be fully themselves in a world with social constructs. Why your most important job as a parent is to teach your kids self-awareness. Why we need to redefine safety as former people-pleasers. What consent-based parenting is and how to practice it. Why parenting isn’t about perfection but repairing connecting.Links (affiliates included):
Hannah and Kelty’s website, Upbringing - https://www.upbringing.co
Parenting After Religious Trauma Membership - https://cindy-brandt.mykajabi.com/partmembership
Help keep the podcast going by joining the Parenting Forward Patreon Team - https://www.patreon.com/cindywangbrandt
Parenting Forward, the Book - https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn1Little
You Are Revolutionary - https://www.beamingbooks.com/store/product/9781506478302/You-Are-Revolutionary
***
EPISODE CREDITS:
If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.
He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.
Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com
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Today we are talking about raising irresponsible kids. This sounds completely counterintuitive, of course. We generally feel pressure to raise kids who are responsible. However, I believe that there is a lot of nuance around this trait.
What are we responsible for? To whom are we responsible? Are there things we shouldn’t be responsible for? These are the questions I wish I had considered as I grew up. My responsibility contributed to much of my dysfunction now. Today, I have to unlearn being responsible for other people’s emotions and various other things that I should not be held responsible for.
However, imagine if our kids never believe they are responsible for these kinds of things. What if they are never taught that they are responsible for other people’s emotions? Can we still raise them to be conscious and responsible citizens who care for others?
This is what Kay Bruner and I discuss today. Kay is a therapist and former evangelical who has a lot of experience with over-functioning and codependency. I've asked her to join me in teasing out some of these nuances of what it means to be responsible. Tune in to join us!
Show Highlights:
The “savior complex” I grew up with. How drawing boundaries made me a better mother and wife. Kay’s struggles with taking responsibility for others’ emotions. How this relates to her work as a therapist. How evangelicalism contributes to this responsibility burden. Why we need to learn to have confidence in other people. How to make sure our kids aren’t taking responsibility for our emotions. Why we shouldn’t teach our kids about loving others until they’re older. The danger of making our kids be responsible for their siblings. The importance of accepting all of our emotions. Why play is so important for both children and adults.Links (affiliates included):
Kay’s website, go book a Sedona Retreat! - https://kaybruner.com
Parenting After Religious Trauma Membership - https://cindy-brandt.mykajabi.com/partmembership
Help keep the podcast going by joining the Parenting Forward Patreon Team - https://www.patreon.com/cindywangbrandt
Parenting Forward, the Book - https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn
You Are Revolutionary - https://www.beamingbooks.com/store/product/9781506478302/You-Are-Revolutionary
***
EPISODE CREDITS:
If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.
He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.
Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com
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One of the most frequently asked questions I’ve gotten over the years is, “Has your husband deconstructed with you and, if so, how?” Today, I’m finally going to take some time to address this. We’re going to veer off topic from our mental health series and dive into marriage and other partnerships.
Joining me to talk this through is my dear friend Danny Cortez. Danny has been on the podcast before but I had to bring him back this week. He is someone who has intimate insights into this topic of deconstructing with your partner.
I’ve toyed with the idea of having a recommitment marriage ceremony and come to the conclusion that Danny is the pastor I would want to reside over it. He is someone I trust with my deconstruction story. Tune in to experience his gentle presence and hear his wise words on deconstructing with a partner.
Show Highlights:
Danny and his wife’s background. The importance of understanding we will change throughout our marriage. Why the goal of deconstructing with your partner is authenticity. Why we cannot harass our partners to deconstruct with us. Why beliefs don’t always translate to good character. How we are all in a never-ending process of deconstruction. How to deconstruct with your partner when one of you is more articulate. How to get to the deepest layer of disagreements. Why it’s so important that both partners are trauma-informed. How deconstruction feels like being in a new relationship with the same person.Links (affiliates included):
How to Deconstruct with your Partner - https://cindywangbrandt.com/how-to-deconstruct-with-your-partner/
Parenting After Religious Trauma Membership - https://cindy-brandt.mykajabi.com/partmembership
Help keep the podcast going by joining the Parenting Forward Patreon Team - https://www.patreon.com/cindywangbrandt
Parenting Forward, the Book - https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn1Little
You Are Revolutionary - https://www.beamingbooks.com/store/product/9781506478302/You-Are-Revolutionary
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EPISODE CREDITS:
If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.
He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.
Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com
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The best parenting is not done in the direction of our children. It’s actually done in the direction of our own selves. This is why I think it is so important to talk about mental health and inner work here on the podcast.
It’s also why I’m so passionate about helping parents with their religious trauma. As many of you know, religious trauma is my special flavor of trauma. It’s the thing that would keep me from truly thriving in my life if I weren’t dedicated to healing. This drives my zeal to heal and help all of you heal as well.
On top of this, so much of what our kids learn from us doesn’t come from the active lessons and conscious talks we try to provide. Rather, they pick up on what we do in our mundane moments of life. They’re watching the way we act in our relationships, attitudes, and healing.
Dr. Glenn Doyle is a trained psychologist who has taught me so much about these kinds of things. He teaches about mental health over on Instagram and I have truly learned so much from him. I wanted to bring him onto the show today to discuss these topics and help us learn how to heal from religious trauma as parents.
Show Highlights:
How Glenn got into providing self-help on social media. How marketing and personal development content can trigger religious trauma. Why distraction can be a good thing. The distinction between religious trauma and general trauma. Why it’s better to be religious trauma proof than nonreligious. How to manage triggers that escalate conflict. Why Glenn is so focused on improving his clients’ quality of life. Why it’s so harmful to be mean to yourself. How people can experience the same thing in different ways. Why it’s important to retell our stories and find meaning in them. How trauma messes with our memories.Links (affiliates included):
Parenting After Religious Trauma Membership - https://cindy-brandt.mykajabi.com/partmembership
Help keep the podcast going by joining the Parenting Forward Patreon Team - https://www.patreon.com/cindywangbrandt
Parenting Forward, the Book - https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn
You Are Revolutionary - https://www.beamingbooks.com/store/product/9781506478302/You-Are-Revolutionary
***
EPISODE CREDITS:
If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.
He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.
Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com
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Our girls deserve to know about this world that they live in. They deserve to know about the things that impact them. This is why I love all that American Girl is doing right now to reach girls in a way that is signifying to them.
Today’s guest, Deanna Singh, partnered with American Girl on a project with this same purpose. This summer, she came out with a book in collaboration with them called A Smart Girl’s Guide to Race and Inclusion. Deanna is also a speaker who does some incredible work around diversity, equity, and inclusion. She hosts virtual summits where she trains individuals and organizations on how to be an ally.
In this episode, Deanna and I discuss this book that she collaborated on with American Girl and many of the diversity and inclusion lessons within it. She also shares some great practical methods for talking to kids about these topics from her extensive experience. Tune in to learn more and start bringing race and inclusion into your family discussions.
Show Highlights:
Why Deanna decided to write a book for middle grades and partnered with American Girl. Some of her background as a biracial woman. Why it’s so important to have conversations with our kids about race. How being a kid and growing up is hard work. The differences and similarities between talking about race and inclusion with middle schoolers and adults. How scaffolding and storytelling help when having these kinds of conversations with our kids. The “inner radio” analogy Deanna uses to teach kids about their internal voice. Why privilege isn’t a bad thing but must be flipped for good. How parents can be allies.Links (affiliates included):
A Smart Girl’s Guide Race & Inclusion - https://www.americangirl.com/shop/p/a-smart-girls-guide-race-and-inclusion-book-hcf40
Parenting After Religious Trauma Membership - https://cindy-brandt.mykajabi.com/partmembership
Help keep the podcast going by joining the Parenting Forward Patreon Team - https://www.patreon.com/cindywangbrandt
Parenting Forward, the Book - https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn1Little
You Are Revolutionary - https://www.beamingbooks.com/store/product/9781506478302/You-Are-Revolutionary
***
EPISODE CREDITS:
If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.
He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.
Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com
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Because of a whole host of systemic issues, the parenting space is mostly populated with women. In other words, mothers are the primary parenting influencers. Of course, there are several fantastic dad voices out there. I’m constantly on a mission to seek them out and am always on the lookout for anyone talking about deconstructing toxic masculinity.
Because of this, I was really excited to find out about Bradley Onishi. He hosts a group for people exploring sex, love, and masculinity after purity culture. I love what Bradley does because there are so many more conversations that need to be had on purity culture from different perspectives.
In this episode, we talk about all of this. Bradley helps us understand how to deconstruct purity culture for the boys we are raising. He also answers the question I am constantly getting from all of you parents in the audience: how do I raise my sons without toxic masculinity? Tune in to learn from Bradley’s incredible insights.
Show Highlights:
Bradley’s background with evangelicalism and the church. Why adolescence is such a vulnerable time and, therefore, a particularly difficult time to get thrown into purity culture. How purity culture harms both men and women. Why Bradley feels like his conversion to evangelicalism was an immediate conversion to purity culture as well. How purity culture leads to toxic masculinity. Bradley’s perspective of deconstructing from a privileged place. How to raise straight white boys in a way that is forging forward equity, undoing oppression, and dismantling toxic masculinity systems. What homosocial enactment is. Why it’s dangerous to always separate boys and girls in youth ministry. How to actually let your kids be themselves. Why it’s so hard to be a child.Links (affiliates included):
Join us at the Parenting Forward Patreon Team - https://www.patreon.com/cindywangbrandt
Parenting Forward, the Book - https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn
You Are Revolutionary - https://www.beamingbooks.com/store/product/9781506478302/You-Are-Revolutionary
***
EPISODE CREDITS:
If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.
He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.
Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com
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This week, I have a great bonus episode for you. Last week, I hosted a two-day webinar on parenting after religious trauma, a topic that you all know is very dear to my heart. We all had such a great time in the webinar and, afterwards, lots of you asked me about a replay.
As a result, I thought I'd share the content from the webinar with you here on the podcast. This recording comes from day two of the religious trauma webinar, entitled, “How to Religious Trauma Proof Your Kids.”
In the webinar, I shared my religious trauma proof system. I came up with this system after years of listening and learning from my own kids. I also learned countless lessons from the experiences of other parents who have dealt with religious trauma. Tune in to learn more.
Show Highlights:
What it means to religious trauma proof our children. How to prevent our children from having adverse religious experiences. Why we shouldn’t keep our kids in a bubble. The 5 C’s of my religious trauma proof system. Why it’s important to honor our kids’ consent. How to introduce our kids to a diverse community. What treating our kids with compassion can do for them. Why communication is an important religious trauma proofing tool. How to coach our kids in communicating. What co-regulation is. A vision for our children’s futures if they become religious trauma proof.Links (affiliates included):
Parenting After Religious Trauma (P.A.R.T.) Membership Community - https://cindy-brandt.mykajabi.com/partmembership
***
EPISODE CREDITS:
If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.
He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.
Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com
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For most of us, mental health feels like a very individualized issue. However, have you ever stopped to think about how your mental health intersects with the world at large and the social injustice you are seeing in it?
Today’s guest has put tons of time and effort into learning about the intersection of mental health and social injustice. She is working on the front lines of expanding what’s happening in the therapy room to the rest of the world we live in. Her name is Dr. Han Ren.
As I shared in previous episodes, I’ve learned so much from therapists on Instagram and Dr. Han Ren is one of them. Not only is she a psychologist and therapist but she’s also a speaker and educator. Her goal is to decolonize mental health.
Today we are talking all about this work that she does. Whether you come from a place of privilege and want to learn how to expand your mindset on your mental health or you come from a place of marginalization and need support and healing, you will benefit greatly from this conversation. Tune in to hear from the vibrant Dr. Han Ren.
Show Highlights:
All about the work Dr. Ren is doing. The kind of clients she works with. Why many children of immigrants grow up to be high-achievers and perfectionists. What pushes these clients to start getting therapy. How to balance healing your mental health and healing the brokenness in the world. How systematic injustice disproportionately hurts the mental health of people of color. The dangers of physical punishment. How many people of color confuse culture with generational trauma. Why we should always believe a person of color if they say an act of violence was about race. How to become a co-conspirator instead of a “savior” when coming from a position of power. The pushback on these things in the mental health space.Links (affiliates included):
Dr. Han Ren - https://www.instagram.com/dr.han.ren/
Dr. Joseph Lee - https://mentalhealthiness.com/?fbclid=IwAR0Xu4Qf6ip5c6r8lPODJbsKZw_xBcbBPyJEyNdBaBClkP-Zi02w7oaw1Wc
Parenting Forward Conference - https://www.parentingforwardconference.com
Join us at the Parenting Forward Patreon Team - https://www.patreon.com/cindywangbrandt
Parenting Forward, the Book - https://amzn.to/3g0LJPn
PREORDER You Are Revolutionary - https://www.beamingbooks.com/store/product/9781506478302/You-Are-Revolutionary
***
EPISODE CREDITS:
If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.
He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world.
Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com
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