Episodes
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You have the right to remain silent...FOREVER! It's getting chilly out, and the fellas have decided to tackle NYC Grime Godfather Bill Lustig's winter nightmares, the MANIAC COP trilogy! Serve. Protect. KILL. Is this the finest collection of urban slashers? Find out now.
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YAHHHHHHHHHHH! In celebration of his latest psychotic Facemelter (THE SHADOW STRAYS), the boys throw down over their favorite action filmmaker in the world right now: Timo Tjahjanto; tracing his roots back to his partnership with fellow Indonesian asskicker Gareth Evans. How much bodily damage can you endure? Find out here.
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Missing episodes?
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One of Marten's favorites is the focus of our 70th spine: Keith Gordon's anti-authoritarian prep school fantasy THE CHOCOLATE WAR. We pair it with three other Adam Baldwin-starring coming of age classics to highlight an underseen subgenre of American teen cinema. Crank up the Peter Gabriel, this is a weird one, folks.
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The boys say the dreaded hook killer's name five times in front of the mirror to conjure...CANDYMAN. To close out Spooky Season '24, Jacob and Marten dissect what's arguably their favorite Clive Barker adaptation, not to mention one of the scariest films of all time.
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You will not be saved by the Holy Ghost.
You will not be saved by the God Plutonium.
In fact, you will not be saved.
The boys debate whether John Carpenter's '87 anti-God particle exploring weird out is one of his secret masterpieces, while also diving into the enduring influence Nigel Kneale's QUATERMASS XPERIMENT. Stuffy guys contemplating the nature of evil in cramped rooms? What's more cinematic than that?
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Bigfoot's comin' gonna getcha, gonna getcha! Spooky Season continues with a bevy of weird ass Bigfoot movies, including the all-time psycho monster movie transmission NIGHT OF THE DEMON (no, not that one...the other one!). What happens when a gay porn director is allowed to let Sasquatch tear a man's penis off onscreen? Well, somehow even weirded shit than that transpires in this gnarly classic. Let's roll into the woods, y'all.
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We're your boyfriends now, Nancy! To kick off both the start of Season Six and Spooky Season, the boys dive into the filmography of Wes Craven and the last big slasher franchise they haven't covered in depth: A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET. How does Freddy stack up against the other slasher icons in SH's estimation? Tune in and find out.
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For the final episode of our Summer of Brat(s) mini-series, we cover the films of the Brat Pack's defining nerd: no, not Anthony Michael Hall, but the Duck Man himself, Jon Cryer! Sure, you've seen him star in one of the worst sitcoms ever, but have you seen him in possibly the best teen movie of all time? Let's bring this one home with one of the boys' favorite movies: PRETTY IN PINK (plus HIDING OUT and Penelope Spheeris' DUDES!).
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It's bad boy time! Our Summer of Brat mini-series rolls on to cover the sex tapes and legitimate work of Rob Lowe, one time hot boy and current TV heartthrob. Is he actually a good actor? Let's get down to business with some erotic thrillers, sad boner jam comedies, and a minor Francis Ford Coppola masterwork.
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EMILIOOOOOOOOO! In the second installment of our Brat Pack mini-series, we cover the output of Martin Sheen's favorite son (that's unquestionable these days, right?), beginning with THE BREAKFAST CLUB, stopping by with REPO MAN, and ending on his outlandish directorial effort, WISDOM. Saddle up, Young Guns, we got some killing to do.
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It's Brat Girl Summer!
Well, kind of...
We're in-between seasons here at Secret Handshake, so we decided to do another mini-series, this time focusing on the '80s kids from the Brat Pack. And what better way to kick this run off than with three films starring Andrew McCarthy, the guy who helmed BRATS - the Hulu/NEON documentary that runs down he and his peers' dominance of a decade's pop cinema scene. St. Elmo's Fire! Less Than Zero! Heaven Help Us! Let's fucking gooooooooo!
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We did it Joe! We (finally) made it to the end of Season Five! To celebrate, the boys finally crack open the filmography of Jacob's favorite stylist: Brian De Palma, running down the reasons why his 1984 porno gialli is the Ultimate BDP Picture. Bring the wet wipes, this one gets sticky.
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The boys hitch a ride with Axel Foley to help investigate multiple crimes committed against his best friends, all in celebration of Netflix's legacy sequel, AXEL F. Does one of the great buddy cop comedies still stand the test of time? Let's hit it, partner.
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Staaaaar Waaaaars! Nothin' but Staaaaaar Waaaaars! The boys celebrate the 25th birthday of one of the most divisive movies of all time, then use it as an excuse to get some feelings about the biggest franchise of all time off their chests. Bonus Content: Jacob grills Marten about his weird politics!
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Take a look at our face, we are the future! The boys toss out a quick collection of killer robot cinema, including the greatest entry into the "our substitute teacher is really a killer robot installed by a mercenary contractor to keep gang violence to a minimum" sci-fi/horror subgenre: Mark L. Lester's CLASS OF 1999. Keep your gears greased, this episode gets VERY violent.
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WITNESS US! In celebration of George Miller's epic FURIOSA, the boys travel to the Wasteland and become History Men, chronicling the rise and fall of Max Rockatansky, as well as other legends of a post apocalyptic, guzzoline fueled suicide landscape.
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Apes! Together! Strong! The boys go ape for the entire PLANET OF THE APES saga, covering every entry from the '68 OG to the newest YA installment, KINGDOM OF THE PLANET OF THE APES. You'll never make a monkey out of us!
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Heads up! The boys are back, talking about the haunted multiplex attractions offered by Dark Castle Entertainment during the late '90s/early aughts, slathering some gory love on Jaume Collet-Serra's HOUSE OF WAX redux. Who wants to see Paris Hilton take a pole to the head? We do!
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The second film from sturdy genre workman Stephen Hopkins to enter the SH collection (following the gory glory of PREDATOR 2), Marten gets to wax lyrical about everything from Dennis Leary to bloodthirsty lions to Gene Hackman's addiction to Puerto Rican prostitutes. Don't play yourself and tune in now.
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Because "belated" is our middle name, the boys sit down and discuss the best movies they saw in 2023, which cover everything from Copenhagen Cowboys, Italian race-car magnates, and Leo's teeth. Tune in and zone out.
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