Episodes
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Today Carol the Coach will be interviewing Taylor Chambers who has devoted his life to helping men become -resilient and to find freedom and liberation from his addiction and live a healthy life with intimacy, integrity and intention. He explains, "My life journey and career changes led me to develop unique approaches for those who struggle to establish or maintain recovery. Individuals can get stuck in their efforts to become sober. In fact, sometimes obsessing about sobriety can backfire. But I believe a lot of growth is still available for those who have not yet dropped addictive behavior. It can be helpful to widen the focus beyond behavioral change, to larger goals including what I call "fearless sexuality." This involves becoming unafraid of sexuality through intention, integrity, and intimacy. Fearless sexuality can be developed by examining one's relationship to sexuality, developing self-compassion, engaging deeply with values (particularly in intimate relationships), and by applying mindfulness principles."
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Today CSAT therapist Jonah Anderson and Carol the Coach will be discussing ADHD so that people can have a better understanding of what it is like to live with this condition. He wants to educate people about the challenges, difficulties, and pain that comes with this condition. Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria is probably one of the worst aspects of ADHD, which is responsible for the severe emotional dysregulation that accompanies ADHD. Like many people with ADHD, Ihe has always struggled with overwhelming emotions, but had no idea it was the result of ADHD.
He wants people to understand how traumatic it is living in a world that doesn’t understand you, expects you to change, and you constantly feel gaslit your entire life, by everyone. He also wants people to know they aren’t their diagnosis.
"I want people to realize that ADHD is the issue that needs to be addressed, the relationship with addiction, and why it is so important in treating sex addiction. I would also like to provide listeners with some useful tools and coping skills. I want people to understand that language matters when communicating with someone with ADHD and that there are things people need to be aware of, such as punishment and negative reinforcement are the worst ways to affect behavior change in someone with ADHD." -
Missing episodes?
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Today CaroltheCoach will be interviewing Blaze Cosko, who uses a Mindfulness Based Addiction & Trauma Therapy approach to assist clients in working throught sex addiction and partner betrayal. MBATT is an evidence-based modality that helps empower individuals to become more aware of the subliminal patterns that lead their lives. By building mindful awareness, clients can become empowered to understand the stories that they are telling themselves, and find alternative perspectives that enable them to cope in more skillful ways. This can lead to more skillful outcomes during the therapeutic process. The MBATT approach can benefit both the addict & the partner. Today's podcast will have an emphasis on the addict and discuss ways to ultimately retain accountability & reduce the likelihood of self-sabotage behavior reemerging. CaroltheCoach herself is trained in this MBATT approach and uses it daily in her practice with clients. Find out why both she and Blaze feel it is essential to recovery when sex addiction has occured!
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Today, Carol the Coach is interviewing Emellina Belle MA, LMFT, ASECT, who is going to be discussing the needs for partners to have a supportive space fto actively navigate the tumultuous journey of discovery or disclosure, dealing with complex trauma, and experiencing PTSD symptoms. She will be discussing the profound impact of partner sexual betrayal trauma on the brain, exploring the latest in neuroscience to help partners understand their reactions and responses, additionally supporting individuals who have transformed their pain into strength. We will be covering essential topics like the physiological effects of trauma, the science behind emotional triggers, and effective strategies for managing stress and anxiety. It's not just about surviving trauma. It is about thriving beyond it. She believes that therapists need to focus on Post-Traumatic Growth, offering practical advice and tools to help you actively rebuild trust, find inner peace, and foster resilience. Learn how to create boundaries, safety, and stabilization in your environment, establish healthy boundaries, and prioritize self-care. Join us for an insightful discussion as she offers valuable resources to actively support the healing journey. She would like for partners to discover how to turn their trauma into a pathway for post-traumatic growth, empowerment, and renewed hope.
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We will be talking with the author of Determined for More, Shawna Meek, as she shares about her new book, an authentic memoir of a wife that was given God’s grace beyond her own strength. Shawna shares how she loved, wept, pleaded and grieved, yet never stopped fighting for something she believed was possible. Her story is a real and raw account of twenty-five years of striving and remaining willing to find faith-filled hope in Christ forged by painfully compounding losses.
Coming into marriage with high hopes, Shawna faced a cascade of devastating events. Divorce, remarriage, betrayal trauma, emotional deprivation, and her husband’s late in life diagnosis with autism. This often left her with few options for healing and recovery, yet she persevered and remains determined for more.
Shawna truly understands the roots of attachment distress in a marriage, even after addiction sobriety. Her personal story began in 2000, and after many years of mentoring women, she knew God was calling her to an extensive coaching training program and ultimately APSATS as a certified partner coach. She is passionate about supporting women as they face specific challenges on this journey, including boundaries during separation and divorce, abuse and gaslighting, therapeutic disclosure preparation, intimacy anorexia and deprivation, and emotional and sexual reintegration -
People get to choose how they respnd to trauma. Today, Carol the Coach interviews Mellissa McDaniel wh wrote Loved Just As I Am a memoir about her choices. She explains, "We don't get to pick the traumatic events that happen in our lives, but we do get to choose how we let them write our story." In her debut release, Loved Just As I Am, Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor, Melissa McDaniel, recounts how her idyllic life in the south was changed forever when she was sexually assaulted at age eleven.
Using her deep faith, love of family, and firm belief that we are all enough, McDaniel skillfully owns her "crapola" while laying bare her feelings and actions, both good and bad. She shares her raw journey of processing her childhood wounds and her struggles as a young woman dealing with a violent ex-boyfriend, racism within her family and community, motherhood, addiction, and infidelity.
Her fresh perspective and vulnerability withing the pages of this non-fiction memoir work to create a roadmap of healing for others like her to rise above pain, shame, and doubt. The result is a life guided by wisdom, freedom, and healing. This story is inspirational as is the author. -
Today Carol will be interviewing Matthew Sinkovitz who is the founder of P*n to Purpose. He has a men's community on line and on FB with 1400 members who want to help each other in recovery. It is a group for men to rekindle their relationships. It is a place where they can go to redesign their life!
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Today, Carol will be interviewing Stevie Hall and Lindsey Stanley who have felt that couples needed a guide to navigate reasons a therapeutic seperation could benefit the coupleship. They have a book pending release: Therapeutic Separation: A Guide for Couples Facing Addiction that will help identify the pros and cons for taking a time out. Their website for the book is: www.therapeuticseparations.com. They want to inspire couples to learn about the so that the couple can make informed decisions that acturally benefit the healing for both spouses. They want to provide information that can provide safety for couples to explore why taking a break might just be the right thing to do.
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Today, Carol is interviewing Chayse Fayle, a Master Certified Professional Coach, APSATS trainee, and Certified Help Her Heal Group Leader. Chase is no stranger to the complexities of life's challenges, particularly in the realm of addiction and relationship dynamics. As the guiding force behind Resilient Mind's addiction and couple's coaching, Chase specializes in helping men and couples navigate the often-turbulent waters of overcoming addiction, sexual addiction, and betrayal trauma.
He believes that men desiring to walk in sexual integrity and who are desiring to build intimacy with their partners cannot do this alone. A key success factor is men’s small groups that center around the subject of sexual addiction and betrayal trauma. Specifically for this discussion is utilizing the Help.Her.Heal Workbook to guide, focus and build accountability for healing and recovery. The primary tools and exercises are Formal Disclosures, emotional check-ins using the Feelings Wheel, practicing AVR, regulating shame during Triggers, understanding Assertive Communication, and developing a sense of camaraderie and connection with other men. Groups benefit men with ‘shoulder-to-shoulder’ sharing, accountability to be authentic, and are beneficial with open and encouraging feedback allowed. Lastly, this fosters the growth and progression of couple centered recovery as the stages of discovery, grief and restoration take place.
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Tonight's episode is about the gay culture. Jeff Aldeson is facilitating a Sex and Intimacy Group for Gay Men and Gary Katz is a LCSW, CSAT-S, EMDR who is a Certified Partner Trauma Therapist for Center for Intimacy Recovery. Together they answer questions that Carol has about men, sex, relationships and growing up gay. Carol the Coach wanted to do the show because she realized that she might need more education about working with gay men. She knew that her experience other than with friends and family, was fairly limited, so she reached out to the specialists and asked them to enlighten both herself and the listening community as to what the specialized needs might be for the gay community.
Listen as she discusses the nuances of how the heterosexual populaion may be different from the gay population or perhaps the same. As Jeff points out despite the difference in upbringing and social norms, he believes there are more similiarities than differences! -
Today, Carol the Coach interviews Kirsten D. Samuel, Coach, Author, and Speaker who wants to inspire woman to know that they can survive the devestation that has caused them. She explains that after 25 years of marriage, my husband revealed his addiction. He was caught looking at inappropriate images at work. Like most women who face this discovery, I immediately went into shock and disbelief followed quickly by anger and panic. I wondered what was wrong with me, became overwhelmed by a sense of failure, and felt like I couldn’t breathe. I didn’t believe in divorce but didn’t know how I could live with this man I no longer trusted. The journey to recovery was long, painful, and life changing. End of the story (my favorite part): I have a brand-new marriage with the same man. I want women who face a similar discovery to know that addiction doesn’t have to be fatal to their marriage. However, changes must happen within the relationship and within yourself to move beyond this betrayal and build a healthy relationship. Listen as Kristen shares the keys to regaining her life again!
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Eddie Capparucci and his colleagues Heather Cronemiller and Lacy Alajna Bentley have collaborated on a book for women struggling with sex, love, and addiction. Going Deeper for Women: How the Inner Child Impacts Your Love and Sex Addiction is based on Eddie Capparuci's Inner Child Model for treating sex/ addiction. This Inner Child Model has been helpful to many men over the past 4 years and now the authors have specifically formulated it for women!
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Today Carol the Coach will be talking to Josh and Charlene Lewis who are co-founders of programing for both the partner and the addict that have foundations in the works of Patrick Carnes.They have an intensive that is remote and they believe in making it easy for their clients. On this podcast they will be sharing their own hope, strength and wisdom that built their programing to get you the right tools to manage recovery and betrayal.
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Today Carol the Coach is interviewing Dr. David Fawcett who has written a new book called Under the Influence about the deadly effect that substances have in combination withcompulsive problematic sexual behaviors. When sex and drugs are combined repeatedly and compulsively, there is a high risk of developing what Dr. David Fawcett calls sexualized drug use. This condition is also referred to as paired substance and sex addiction or addiction interaction disorder.
Unfortunately, the response from the professional community to sexualized drug use has been far from adequate. As Dr. Fawcett writes, “I have had countless clients come to me who have gone through well-known and otherwise exceptional drug addiction treatment programs that never addressed co-occurring behavioral addictions, most notably sex and addiction. Because of that shortcoming, those clients found themselves still struggling with sobriety and life in general.
This book is intended to be a guide for individuals curious about their own sexualized drug use or the sexualized drug use of someone they care about, and for professional seeking more clinical information. The information contained herein provides insight, guidance, and relief to people struggling to break free from sexualized drug use, steering them toward affirming and satisfying sex and intimacy without the need for a mood-altering substances and behaviors.
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Today, Carol the Coach will be interviewing Amie Woolsey who has created a program for women who have experienced sexual betrayal and have decided to divorce to and move on to their next chapter.
She teaches about the three pillars - Awareness, Acceptance, and Agency - when applied to a partner's healing journey, to enable empowerment and choice.
She has offered a free workbook to get you thingking and to remember. that you have choices. She tells her partners, "Whether you're in the "Should I stay or go" mindset or the "What the heck do I do next?" mindset, this workbook is crafted to meet you where you are and provide clarity on the most crucial aspect of any decision-making proces.
She believes, your mindset is the single most important part of any decision because you are the CHOOSER in your life. This workbook serves as your trusty guide, allowing you to explore your thoughts and feelings in the safety of your own space, at your own pace.
When someone in your life has made choices that stripped away your own power to choose, reclaiming that power and becoming the CHOOSER is absolutely critical. Decisions made from a place of empowerment have the amazing ability to erase the paralyzing fear of making the wrong choice.
If you go to Amie's website, you can print off as many copies of her workbook as you need to fuel your curiosity. Listen as she describes her program to support partners in any way she can. -
Today, Carol the Coach is interviewing Sam Louie who authored Passport to Shame From Asian Immigrant to American Addict. Sam explains that "Asian cultures are rooted in shame. They are known as shame-based societies because the lives, families, and mindsets of these cultures revolve around some aspect of avoiding shame to preserve familial and cultural honor. In Chinese culture alone, there are more than 100 different ways to describe shame. While some of them overlap with English versions of shame, such as a sense of disgrace and humiliation, many others help shed light on why and how shame is so pertinent among Asian cultures. Within the Chinese, some of the shame-related terms and references are: a nation’s humiliation/shame (i.e. bringing shame to yourself also brings shame to your family, ancestors, and community and your entire ethnic background and/or family’s country of origin); the old father-in-law carries the young daughter-in-law on his back to cross a river (in Chinese culture, it is considered inappropriate for a father-in-law to have physical contact with his daughter-in-law, thus equating how taboo it is to be associated with shame); and a person lives by face as much as a tree lives by bark and as much as a light bulb is covered with glass (i.e. stressing the importance of maintaining a positive and good-standing public image)."
Listen as they discuss Asian culture and and how it is so deeply rooted in shame and why. -
Today Carol the Coach will be interviewing Janice Caudill and Dan Drake, who created his and hers, step-by-step, companion workbooks for helping couples prepare for, complete and heal after a full disclosure process. Since the books came out they are now training professionals to navigate these difficult waters with their clients, helping them to understand the infrastructure that underlies the Restoring Truth Model so that the disclosure can become the starting point for cultivating safety, trust, vulnerability and, ultimately, authenticintimacy for individual and relationship healing.
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When betrayal has occurred, it's natural for couples to seek out marriage counseling in a desperate attempt to repair the relationship, only to be frustrated because he doesn’t know how to show empathy for the pain the betrayal he has caused her and she doesn’t know how to feel safe with someone who violated her trust so deeply.
Today, Carol the Coach is interviewing Sherri Courtney and Laura Fisher who offers couples a solution that bridges the gap between the discovery of betrayal and couples counseling.
Sherri and Laura have integrated the principles from Help Her Heal, Unleashing Your Power and Help Them Heal into their Help Them Heal for Couples Signature Program, which offers a comprehensive Early Recovery Couples Empathy Model (ERCEM) based approach to healing a relationship when trust has been shattered through sexual betrayal.
They will be offering a Help Them Heal for Couples Workshop in January that will introduce couples to the ERCEM model and help them learn how to progress together through the 3 stages of partner betrayal: Safety and Stabilization; Anger, Grief and Mourning; and Post Traumatic Growth.
Sherri and Laura believe having the right help at the right time can make all the difference in relational healing and are committed to helping couples not only survive but thrive following sexual betrayal.
Website: www.helpthemhealworkshop.com
Email: [email protected] -
Today Carol the Coach will be interviewing Joshua Nichols who has developed 12 Types of Gaslighting and 4 Types of Vulnerability Exploitation to help you both identify these maladaptive coping skills to make healthier choices.
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Today Carol the Coach interviews Lisa and Andrew Reichel from Room to Heal. Room to Heal is a recovery residence in Charlotte, NC for men battling sex and addiction that breaks the mold of traditional sexual addiction recovery by offering men a more affordable option for immersive healing while providing intentional time apart for couples. They have a relationship-centered approach where both individuals receive coaching support while the addict is away and those coaches work as a team to keep the couple connected and safe in the relationship. Another unique aspect of the program is that the support doesn’t end when the addict returns home. Room to Heal will walk beside the couple through that transition and begin using the ERCEM method to process the anger and grief left by the betrayal. Their goal, like ERCEM is to ultimately help their couples reach deeper levels of intimacy than they ever felt possible.
If you are considering a theraputic separation, feel stunted in your recovery as an individual or couple, listen up. This program might be your answer.
"The programming includes support for the partner and the relationship through the Early Recovery Couples Empathy Model (ERCEM). Our goal is to help the addict build a rock-solid foundation for his recovery while guiding both individuals to the safety and healing needed to begin rebuilding the relationship." - Show more
