Episodes
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We strive to remove the hardship from our life so that we can live a life without stress and struggles, but its the intolerable levels of hardship that we have to face that has helped us in discovering our true potential. Living a life where the things that you desire are handed to you on a silver platter will only take your desire to try further away, because there is no sense of achievement for something that comes that easy to you, this eventually leaves you in a weaken and vulnerable state of mind where you wont do anything ever for yourself untill those helping remove thier assistance. A life that is so simple leaves us feeling that we cant achieve greatness because we have never got ourselves out of our comfort zone because the fear of failure has controlled us. Not trying to pursue our dreams and staying where we are most comfortable is failing yourself because you have never given yourself the chance to meet your full potential. Let your passions guide you to a place where its worth the risk and even though you may fall there is nothing that can hold you down when your are focused on your passion. So if you plan to use your life appropriately then live it trying to reach your full potential chasing it passionately and maybe you'll surprise yourself because we only know what is around the corner if we get off the couch and look.
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Once you've made up your mind and decided what you want it's up to you alone to put steps in place in order to get yourself closer to your ideal job. This important decision shouldn't be taken lightly because it can sometimes seem an easy choice but when you have only focused on the advantages of the other job then its easy to fall in the trap of believing the grass is actually greener on the otherside. There is good and bad parts in any job but the questions we forget to ask ourselves is, Does the good out weigh the bad in the new job opportunity? And will your life change dramatically for the better with your new job? Changing your job on regular basis will eventually tire you out because the older you get the harder you'll find getting back on track with learning a new skillset. Our threshold to pressure varies from individual to individual, whether a high pressure job is any better than a low pressure job depends on the individual?. More money usually means more work unless you have managed a strategy to get more money with minimal work. Not all jobs are about the money some are purely about the reward you get for being successful in your chosen field. If we all chased the money more people would drop what they like, for what will bring them more dough. So if your passions aren't tied to a high end job then just focus on what job will fit your happiness requirements and let others dwell on their money situation and wonder why they have less time to enjoy because of their high paying job.
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Missing episodes?
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We live in a world where there are rules put in place to keep things in an organised order rather than letting the chance of chaos to determine our fate. No matter whether it's right or wrong the order to things that keeps the momentum moving forward is regarded as the path that should be followed, so if your not keeping up with the direction that the world moves in then you'll be left behind no matter of your status. When faced with a dilemma that may compromise your views Is it better to bend your values or fold them?. The choice to say what is on your mind should be weighed up against the likelihood of your point being interpreted in the way that it is intended rather than opening up and telling all while others keep quiet with their personal views. If your point of view no matter how valid it is, is ignored and brushed aside because the facts fail to impress then you have wasted your time trying to show someone the sensible option and all you've managed to achieve is creating conflict between you both. Sometimes choosing to speak their language, play the same games that they play is the better option otherwise you'll give them all while they give you bare minimum. So choose your battles wisely and make sure you ownly open to those who aren't trying to tear you down. Your life will be less weary if the drama in your life is on the TV set not a part of your lifestyle.
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Growing up some of us thrive the more we tick off our bucket list while others dont even have a bucket list to check. Whether your one who's content with where you lie or you prefer to keep busy ticking as many boxes as you can, your reasons for doing what you do are your own. Desires that dont push you enough to stand up and move forward so that you could reach your full potential might feel like your wasting your time but we are not all going in the same direction chasing the same reward. Someone who craves more for themselves will do whatever it takes to get what they want out of life because you can not be the best version of yourself without putting in the hard work. The moment you come to terms with the fact that self-realization is the key that will guide your life to excellence will be the moment you strive to reach your full potential with all your being because your happiness is on the line and we all dont want to let ourselves down. The more we ignore our desires and pretend to be something that we are not the more we are likely to lose ourselves in our made up lies where we convince ourselves that we are content with the bare minimum. The mind is such a powerful tool that when we choose to ignore its message willingly by disregarding what is the right path for us over what is an easier fix the unresolved issues we ignore can have an underlying affect on us with the build up of stress that can makes us physically sick. Having a healthy mindset is the only way that we should be, by doing what is right for you and your peers you will remain positive with a clear conscience where there will be only true justification with all your choices. The moment you go against the person that your trying to portray will be the moment your body says no. So don't ignore your body and strive to be the best version of yourself with only the truth to guide you.
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We are surrounded by information everyday, but how we interpret that information varies from individual to individual. People who believe in multiple truths will always highlight their views as "my truth" but if truth was based only on your own personal view point and not a universal view point then how are we ever as a society supposed to see eye to eye when there is conflict. Truth is universal because it is aligned with facts that is why we all have to accept it as factual reality whether it works in our favour or not because that is the first step to establish common ground with one another. Without the right information infront of us we would all struggle to make sense of the world because where reality and truth collide there will only be conflict. Our core belief system influences how we interpret the information that we receive as either true or as false but because the information is siphoned from a limited source it forces us to fill in the gaps by guessing the rest, this is why we all may think we are right but where common sense is ignored its likely not to be you. Our version of the truth relys solely on what we think is the best representation of the truth even though we may only have a piece of the puzzle, but this can change easily with the discovery of new valid information. So before you choose to make up your mind on what's true maybe put a bit of thought on the other side of the fence and try not to be distracted by your emotions.
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We all like to receive a compliment here and there because it can have a positive impact on us, but that doesn't mean that we should solely rely on someone else's words to bring us up from feeling down. With or without the chosen compliment spoken we should always be happy with what we have in our life in order to be respectful to those who are less fortunate than we are. To those of you who refuse to acknowledge that you are lucky to have the lifestyle that you lead and fortunate enough to have opportunities that enable you better yourself then maybe you should go without the things that you seem to take for granted and see how difficult life can really be. When you do get complimented it is merely a bonus that should only add to your own self motivated positive energy and not be the be all and end all of your life. If we give others the power to bring us up then they also have the power to bring us down, that it is why it is best that your happiness is in your own hands alone. We also should never let the people that don't have the power to inflate us to deflate us at their whim because they are not deserving of the privilege to have an affect on the positive people of the world, they should remain isolated where their negative attitudes and doubt can not affect others.
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The preferred lifestyle we all desire is based on our personal interests. Some of us chase fulfilling careers while others are content with a simpler lifestyle, both are right because it should be about each to the own as long as you don't affect someone else's dream. No matter what your passions are let them be the guide you to happiness and dont let the doubt of others lead you ashtray.
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I dont need your help seems to be the first response to the question, Can I help you? We all like to feel that we are capable of handling any dramas in our life that come our way but this isn't always the case. Sometimes our ego can prevent us from asking for the help that we obviously need, all this does is hinder our own progression. This stance in our own stubbornness will only hold us back from moving forward to where we want to be. The quicker you take on the philosophy that you don't know everything will be the moment that you allow yourself to learn from input of others. Your goal should not be to prove that you know everything to others but that you respect them enough to listen and learn from their knowledge of experience on the topic. It is through mutual respect that we can learn from each other and grow. Only through learning from those that you interact with will you ever manage to be the best version of yourself that you can be. Shutting yourself from knowledge because you believe that it shows a lack of something is a weakness in your character for that we are always learning and the moment we stop learning is the moment we struggle in the evolving world. So do not flame your prejudices and allow yourself to learn from the four corners of the globe and you might be surprised what you could learn.
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Leading by example may sound simple enough, but unless you practice what you preach you'll find out that the respect your expecting from your peers will never come. People will only follow your lead if they feel that the rules that you have put in place are for everyone equally to abide by and not just there when it suits your preferred situation. Respect will not sit well with those you surround yourself with if you've chosen the mentality "do as i say not as i do" because this will have your peers half heartedly supporting your flawed rules rather than following them because they just makes sense. When you show them that your rules dont apply to you then your lack of devotion to what should be set in stone crumbles with any influence that you might have over your peers. The power to motivate only works if you see yourself on the same level as those that you are in charge of. If your actions lack consistency then don't be surprised that confusion sets in and your influence degrades. Rules are put in place to keep the foundations from collapsing, rules dont bend just to suit your scenario, if it's wrong for me then it's wrong for you. You can not be both a friend and foe at the same time to the same person because bending the rules to shield your friends transforms you into a foe to the misfortunate who are without your selected leanancy. So more leading to whats right and less choosing whats right for now and you will notice that their will be less confusing moments that you can not justify when your questioned by your peers.
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I thought it was time for a recap and an explanation of my intentions with my podcast.
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Most people choose to only see the good qualities in others while that may at first glance seem to be an admirable quality to have, choosing to ignore the bad qualities is a show of weakness. We do not have the luxury to pick and choose what we consider a good quality in persons character so we choose to highlight it and ignore the less desirable qualities in someone by playing dumb never to admit that we have noticed the flaws from the get go. When you choose to give your support you must accept people for who they are, even if that means accepting their flaws. Denying their dark side because it doesn't sit well with your morality means you are denying your own morals because if you dont believe that they are a good person but you are still standing by them it says more about how you've chosen to compromise your own personal values, so then maybe the real problem goes further than them and its all about you. Maybe you are not the person that you think you are because we all have our own flaws but only few of us accept them as a part of who we are, accepting the truth will mean you don't need to hide behind ridiculous excuses which always end up with you getting yourself caught in a lie. The idea that once you accept the truth and confront someone for their manipulative ways it might mean that the repercussions may affect your so called perfect relationship with them but at least its not going to hurt twice as much when you've invested so much more of your time in them. A lot of people would rather choose the easier path where you restrict yourself in looking too deep into someone's else's character for where it might lead you, but they are even more afraid of self analysis because it's hard to keep on smiling if you find out that you are not a nice person underneath all your broken promises. So keep your moral compass aligned with your actions and stand proud that you have stuck by your word because without our word we are lost.
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Choosing to self isolate for most of your free time can show people that you don't want them to be an important part in your life. Separating yourself from the ones who love you can be considered a selfish act to those who just want to spend some meaningful time with you. Distancing yourself may give you some peace of mind to focus on yourself but eventually the distance you put between yourself and those who care about you will only expand, making it even harder to connect with them when you are finally have a chance to. Everyone has their own unique threshold once their limit has been reached it is nearly impossible to regain their trust. We all may be restricted by time restraints but that is what makes the time so special that we choose to spend with others. When you choose to use your little free time to reconnect with the people you care about they feel respected and will find it alot easier to do the same for you. You cannot expect people to go out of their way to do something for you if you have no intention to do the same for them. They say that love is unconditional but there are always conditions otherwise its a one side love affair. We may not expect others to move mountains for us but showing them a little respect goes a long way. So have your free time when you need it but be aware that happiness is magnified when you share your life with the ones you care about.
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We are our memories, it is our memories that we refer back to when we are trying to learn from our previous experiences. It is our lifes bookmarks that steers the direction of our path and can explain why we do the things that we do. What we choose to remember can highlight our priorities whether its consciously or subconsciously our brain chooses what it wants to retain. Negative experiences linger longer in the brain than positive experiences this could be because our built in primary instincts are to protect ourselves from harm by doing what ever we can to survive. Without our past being referenced we are more likely to repeat the same mistakes that we made in our past this is why it is important to reflect back on to the various stages in our life where we have felt powerful emotions that either have made us promise to try to feel the good that we did on a good day or never to repeat the mistakes that we made on that horrible day again. It is normal to want the best life experiences you can have but it sometimes necessary to hold onto the memories that prevent you making the same mistakes. If you wipe your memories clean of the past you will also lose the you that was smart enough to dig yourself out of the trenches by getting your life back on track. So choose your life plan carefully and don't blame others for your bad choices because it is your responsibility alone to learn from your past so that your past mistakes wont live in your future.
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Throughout our life we are faced with various challenges that can either have a positive or a negative impact not only on our own life but on the life of those in our social circle. This is why it is is important that when we make choices that are life changing that we take full responsibility for our actions and not play the blame game when put on spot. When we are faced with a dilemma our actions either lead us to face them head on or do the opposite and ignore the red flags that are infront of us, either way our choices will always remain with us till the end. When you consciously choose to ignore the signs that your intuition is trying to highlight then all that will follow is regret. All we have is the power of truth to stand by and build up on if we are to ever feel good about ourselves because truth is the person we claim to be and the alternative is brushing our problems underneath the rug while pretending to be a saint while sinning in disguise. Eventually you will trip up over the bulge of lies that are as contradictory as your alter ego represents and be caught out in the karma that is coming. So if your beliefs contradict your actions then maybe look at yourself and ask yourself do you really believe in what you're saying or are you just to weak to admit that you are no saint. Either way you will be much happier if admitted that you are a narcissistic person than denying your selfish ways.
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Shame can be a great preventative because it can be the barrier that reminds us of who we are and where our line is. The rules we live by and stand by are put in place so that we don't compromise our preferred set values. Your line is defined by your moral compass so if you adjust your base line just to benefit your own selfish needs then you will find it harder and harder to grasp onto the person that you are striving to be. It is immediately after you have gone through a shameful experience that your toughest lessons are learnt. The bad feelings that remain with you lingers on to remind you that the bad choices you make will lead you to bad experiences. So all you need to do is to stay consistent with your values and remember no matter the outcome you have stayed true to your preferred self without the sacrifice of your dignity. If you are going through a tough period in our life where you are feeling hopelessness you can have solace in the knowledge that you have stayed true to your self and not given in to the corrupt path just because its easier. It is through the difficulties of your life experiences that strengthens your soul so if you get knocked down remember to say out loud "Is that all you've got because i have more". So strive to be the better you that you can be and let you shame remind you of where your moral compass starts and ends because we all have to have to draw a line in the sand some time or another.
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Loyalty seems to be on the decline, its no longer the standard trait that comes with having any kind of relationship. Now there are certain evolving provisos in any relationship where what used to be a simple show of mutual respect to one another has now changed in favour for those whose voice is louder than their peers. Those that are in the lime light who proudly voice their longings out loud crave more than what is on offer from their peers and dont put in a second thought into letting anyone know their requirements. What used to be considered a reciprocal understanding between those who have built up a bond through shared experiences is now irrelevant because the world now looks after the ones who have the louder voice whether its fair or not. "The squeaky wheel gets the grease" seems to be the alot of people's motto whch is a lesson in life that was learnt when they noticed through trial and error that their woes were met with positive reinforcement when they spoke up. Loyalty is a character trait that defines what type of person you are, those who are unable to show loyalty to anyone but themselves are conditioned by those who will go out of their way to please the complainer. So the only person at fault is the person who reinforces their bad behaviour. If we want people to behave rightly we must show them that they need to be loyal to positive values otherwise their negative ways will result in digging them deeper into their own misfortune. People will be loyal to those that are loyal to them, so if you wonder why people are treating you like a push over maybe its because you let them.
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Throughout our life we strive for more because we believe that once we have more of whatever we desire that we would reach our utopian lifestyle. We believe our life will improve if we put all our time in focusing only on the steps that will get us closer to the things we dream of. Whether its fame fortune or anything in between we believe that the sooner we reach our goals the sooner we will reach our highest level of happiness. Your attempt to reach your goals shouldn't come at the cost of your values. Sometimes when you live your life with your head in the clouds you can lose sight of what you currently have. Living your life in fast forward may feel like the right thing to do because you won't get distracted by the things that arent on your check list but the journey is as, or even is more important than, your destination. So enjoy the ride because it is lifes struggles that help strengthen us to toughen up so that we can handle our next challenge. Remembering your roots will keep you grounded loyal to the person that you once were before you let lifes struggles taint your views. It is our past that connects us to our future, to deny the person that you once were is denying an important part of your true identity. Choosing to step on anyone just to reach your goals will be a dishonour to the innocence you once had and will only lead you to live a lonely lifestyle. If your younger self met the person that you've grown up to be would they be proud of that person or ashamed of how got there. You should respect that it was your past self that got you through the hard times triumphantly so that you could take one step closer to your preferred future.
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The opportunist of the world like to take advantage of people's placid nature because they believe that their chosen victim is too relaxed to speak up and take a stand. Their line of thought is that if you arent going to speak up and stand up for yourself then no harm no foul. The voluntary victims can feel conflicted when they catch on to game that they are forced to play and are in two minds whether they should highlight that they are no fool to the opportunist strategies, or whether they should just play along ignoring the pitfalls that they may have to face all in the name of keeping the peace. Keeping the peace may seem to be the easier pathway to choose but at what cost is it having on you when you are knowingly choosing to ignore the attempts of the opportunist who is constantly chipping away at your integrity without any disregard on how it may impact on your well-being. Why do you put his or her needs above our own when we know that their selfish ways will eventually victimise us. We as a people can not reach a true heightened level of happiness if we are going against what our common sense is trying to tell us. It is our common sense that will guide us through the mess that bad decisions have lead us to. So more following your head because your head has your heart in mind whereas your heart only has what feels good at the time, which will only lead you to scratching your head wondering how did you get here.
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The common mistake that people make when they are trying to advise someone about changing their lifestyle is that they are purely focused on what has worked for them rather than thinking about what would be beneficial for the other person. They believe that if someone took their advice and followed it to the letter that they too would be as happy as they are, even though what may feel like a sure thing to them might not even be a consideration in the eyes of the listener. The wrong advice has the influence to dampen someone's else's interests even though it is unintentional. We all vary in our interests and believing that the formula to happiness is based on what one person's success will only end up in making a carbon copy of that person giving the advice. Those who stray from their own pathway of interests will only get lost in the end and be left questioning why they went against what felt so right. Advice needs to lead to a pathway that the person requiring the advice wants to reach but is struggling to see, not as a new goal furrher away from their personal interests of the one listening. So maybe the best advice is to not give advice so that people can work themselves out without someone steering them away from what matters most to them.
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Everyday of our life we spend time interacting with different types of people who have different types of personalities that we either connect with easily, or we find it extremely difficult to find any common ground with. What should be just a simple interaction between two people has now been tainted because when the conversation is forced and only consists of superficial conversation it will only ever lead to a closed conversation. Those of you who put up boundaries around your conversation in order to detract from probing questions will never have a real conversation because the restrictions that you put in place are designed to prevent anyone from discovering what you yourself consider are your true vulnerabilities. It is accepting that like everyone else that you have vulnerabilities that is a show of your strength because true strength is only reached when you accept your reality not when you deny it. Pretending you are perfect shows others that you are without fault which none of us are, but only few of us are willing to admit that we have struggles in our life that can sometimes make us feel down. Only few of us a real enough to admit that we are human and we can make mistakes but it is being a resilient human that promotes us to push forward even when their is little motivation in us to do so. Those who choose to leave their guard up to discourage anyone from getting to close will never experience true respect because who is someone choosing to respect the you on display or the real you hiding in your own fear of rejection. It is through being open and honest that allows others to build a bond between each other and connect with who you really are. If you dont look beyond the surface of a smile you will only ever see the superficial this will only result in your true character being ignored, because your real self is never on show. Common sense outweighs compassion so eventually people will see past the person that you are trying to portay and see the you that your afraid to show so be yourself with all the things that make you feel imperfect and you'll discover the perfect you.
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