Episodes
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According to recent data and media reports, Gen Z has some enthusiasm for dating in the workplace. Is that a good idea, however? Irina and Michelle dissect the pros and cons of finding a significant other at work. What happens if things fall apart and people have to keep collaborating after a break-up? And how might scenarios play out if there is an uneven power dynamic between the individuals involved? The Dating Professors take a look at the issues involved from regular dating situations to extramarital affairs. You won't believe what happened when Michelle worked at Blockbuster Video and later during her psychology practicum!
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On this episode, Irina and Michelle chat with psychotherapist and sex addiction specialist D.J. Burr. In recovery from sex addiction himself, D.J. explains the condition and the path toward improvement. He discusses how trauma connects to addiction, how dating apps cause special problems for those with addiction, and why he thinks porn can never be used in healthy ways. D.J. also describes the therapy process involved in recovery and the importance of addressing the issue of shame. Check out this episode filled with information and vulnerability.
D.J. Burr's website
D.J.'s Linktree
D.J.'s "I Just Wanted Love" book (free chapter here)
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Missing episodes?
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"Opposites attract," the old adage goes. Is that really true, however? Irina and Michelle delve into the ways that disparities are a drawback versus advantage in relationships. What are some of the Dating Professors' personal habits and preferences that they think would cause conflict if a mate was diametrically different? Come listen to an exploration of the role of athletic commitment, love of or distaste for going out, and the clash between early birds and night owls.
Plus don't forget to check out our "Strangers on the Internet" Facebook page for a bonus relationship exercise mentioned in the episode!
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On this episode, Irina and Michelle talk to German visual artist Sebastian, whom Irina met on a long train ride in Europe over a decade ago. He is a photographer, comic artist, graphic designer, illustrator, silk-screen printer, painter, and musician who has lived as a digital nomad for some time. From photographing Iggy Pop to having his work appear in the New York Times, and from living in Germany to England, Brazil, the United States, and Japan, Sebastian has seen it all. He opens up about why he finds dating difficult and how he does not want to use a partner as a crutch. The blank canvas awaits, and we discuss the kinds of women or men that Sebastian would like to invite into the story.
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When and how should you intervene in loved ones' romantic relationships? The Dating Professors address the issue in this episode. Irina and Michelle talk about the things that make them uncomfortable to watch in other couples, and discuss various attempts to help. How did Michelle react when a friend butted in as she was preparing to enter a real estate arrangement with a romantic partner? And would some people really rather cut off a BFF than hear hard truths? All that and more in this podcast conversation!
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Cassie, a NYC professional in her 40s, did not see her live-in partner's cheating coming. She tells Irina and Michelle about the way her 49-year-old boyfriend--whom she met in a physical therapist's office at the start of the pandemic--betrayed Cassie with a 27-year-old mutual friend! Find out how Cassie's dog played a key role in sniffing out the situation. Cassie also talks about how she is rebuilding her life with the support of her family and friends, and dipping her toes back into the pool of the dating apps. You will not want to miss this inspiring story of overcoming heartbreak and discovering a path to freedom and happiness!
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Is there hope for finding love late in life, including after being widowed or divorced? The Dating Professors explore in this episode the stereotypes and true challenges--but also advantages--of looking for a match in one's later years. Irina and Michelle discuss the higher degree of self-knowledge present in one's senior years, the complications that might arise from relatives unhappy about one's new dating endeavors, and much more. Pull up a (rocking?) chair for this episode about golden times!
ABC's "The Golden Bachelor"
New York Times article "Dating After 60: A Lot of Roses, Some Thorns"
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Season 3 begins with the feel-good tale of how Rutgers emergency physician Dr. Aislinn Black and Cornell information law scholar Prof. James Grimmelmann met in the early days of social media. Learn how 19th century Danish philosopher Soren Kierkegaard played a key role in their connecting and how Aislinn initially tried to matchmake James with a friend of hers. Irina and Michelle accompany the couple from their early days of zipping up and down the East Coast (so they could hang out) to their decision to commit after bumping into a Belgian medieval pageant. Aislinn and James discuss why the era of long emails and AOL Instant Messenger worked especially well for their romance and how their marriage and parenting defy gender stereotypes. Last but not least, James shares his thoughts on the steps that would lead to greater Internet safety. Come start the year right with a podcast episode that will bring a smile to your face!
Dr. Aislinn Black's professional profile
Dr. James Grimmelmann's professional profile
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Irina and Michelle guide listeners through a retrospective of the "Strangers on the Internet" podcast on the occasion of the show's 50th episode. What lessons have the Dating Professors learned from their guests and conversations? Our hosts discuss societal loneliness and disconnection, the state of the dating apps, and the key traits and situations to avoid while dating. They also explore the ways that communities can support both single and coupled people in today's world. Come celebrate this big milestone and final episode of season 2 with us!
Time article on AI assistance in dating and matchmaking
Research study on gender differences in response to dating profiles
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Award-winning screenwriter and author L.L. Kirchner takes Irina and Michelle through the whirlwind of her life in this episode you will not want to miss. While living in Qatar, L.L. received a phone call from her husband announcing that he wanted a divorce. Afraid that she would spiral back into substance addiction, L.L. promptly decided to take a spiritual journey to India where she quit smoking cigarettes as soon as she landed and threw herself into yoga and meditation, even visiting a sex cult at one point. L.L. tells it all, from the start of her eventually babysitting-funded alcoholism that started at age ten (later on adding other drugs) to the dating column and matchmaking experiment she ran for an alternative newspaper. After some online dating adventures of her own in NYC, did she really end up finding love with Florida Man?? Come find out!
L.L. Kirchner's website
L.L's Instagram
L.L.'s book "Blissful Thinking: A Memoir of Overcoming the Wellness Revolution"
L.L's book "American Lady Creature: (My) Change in the Middle East"
SOTI ep. 46: Dating While Sober with Felicia Hermle
SOTI ep. 43: Exclusive Interview with Comedian Allison Goldberg
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On this episode, Irina and Michelle interview marketing consultant Serise Lange, who moderates the popular Facebook group Women's Personal Finance. How do finances impact dating, and how do we figure out who should pay for what? What does Serise think about folks who send out a Venmo request after a date did not go as desired? And what exactly are "hobosexuals"? We learn from Serise's wisdom not only about money but also emotional wellbeing generally!
Serise Lange's Twitter
Women's Personal Finance website
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Why is being single so frustrating sometimes? Irina and Michelle explore both the emotional and practical side of single life. In addition to dealing with feelings of loneliness, single people--and frequently especially single women--face tasks that are difficult or even impossible to accomplish on one's own. Michelle talks about the lawn mower she physically couldn't start while single without her (male) neighbor's help, while Irina discusses the challenges of building furniture that requires two people. The Dating Professors analyze how to overcome some of these obstacles and how community members can best support each other with life's small and large complexities regardless of relationship status.
"Handy Women" Facebook group
"Day to Day Tasks and Life Explained Step By Step And Advice" Facebook group
"Dad, How Do I?" YouTube channel
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Historically, dating has been deeply entwined with going out for a drink. But what happens if one of the two dating parties has opted for a life of sobriety? And what are the pros and cons of replacing substance use with romance, or what is the effect of infatuation on the brain? Irina and Michelle discuss with California-based social worker and addiction specialist Felicia Hermle how to handle recovery from substance use in the dating context, and how partners can show their support. Felicia talks science, introspection, and empathy on this important episode.
Felicia Hermle's website
Felicia's podcast "Sobriety Checkpoint"
Sarah Michaud's book "Co-Crazy: One Psychologist's Recovery from Codependency and Addiction: A Memoir and Roadmap to Freedom"
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While a cute pet picture can attract someone to your dating profile, pets can also be a major hindrance in romance. What happens when a significant other's pet prevents spontaneous travel or acts up jealously when someone comes over? What are reasonable expectations for how pet owners and non-owners should adapt to each other in relationships? Irina and Michelle--both long-time pet owners--break down the possible challenges that even a well-behaved Fido or Garfield might bring to the dating game!
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Irina and Michelle sit down with sexual abuse and online harassment expert Prof. Mary Anne Franks from the George Washington University Law School to take stock of the state of Internet safety (or lack thereof) today. Mary Anne explains why "revenge porn" is generally a misnomer, why women are particularly at risk in a variety of online settings, and what has made it so difficult to pass federal legislation to protect individuals from having naked images of themselves distributed nonconsensually. The law professor and Krav Maga instructor also discusses what readers will find in her forthcoming second book "Fearless Speech," why only criminalization is likely to incentivize potential online abusers to stay put, and what encourages her to continue advocating for women's rights in the face of death threats. Join us for a conversation about both individual safety measures and the broader structural changes needed to prevent further victimization!
Prof. Mary Anne Franks' faculty profile
Mary Anne's Twitter
Cyber Civil Rights Initiative website
Mary Anne's first book, "The Cult of the Constitution"
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Comedian Allison (Alli) Goldberg is on a mission to make dating fun again. Once named one of the top 10 funniest women in NYC by Time Out NY, the now-Los Angeles based performer delights her public both on the stage and on the air. A friend of previous SOTI podcast guest Talia Lerner, Alli tells Irina and Michelle why dating provides such fertile material for her work from her matchmaking live comedy show "Love Isn't Blind" to her "How to Break up by Text" performances (the latter will soon be released as an audio show with celebrities reading the texts out loud and experts analyzing them!). Come hear how Alli's worst online date ever was with a fellow Yalie who was in the middle of convincing his former lover to have an abortion, why it's tricky to find the right male contestants for her matchmaking show, and what her philosophy is to overcome fears about any creative endeavor.
Allison Goldberg's profile
Alli’s IG
Alli’s TikTok
"Love Isn’t Blind" show
"How to Break up by Text" show
Alli's podcast "2 Girls, 1 Podcast"
Related SOTI episodes:
SOTI ep. 21: Second Marriage in the Second City with Prof. Talia Lerner and Phillip Nightingale
SOTI ep. 18 & ep. 19: Exclusive Interview with Bestselling Author Nancy Jo Sales (Part 1 & Part 2)
SOTI ep. 35: Evolving out of the Man Box with Dr. John Schinnerer
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In the fourth part of this coverage of the sexual misconduct allegations against ex-George Mason University law professor and former FTC Commissioner Joshua Wright, Irina has a conversation with Dilan Esper, an experienced litigator in areas that include defamation law and the First Amendment. Dilan walks listeners through Josh's highly unusual defamation legal complaint against two of the women who accused Josh of misconduct, Elyse Dorsey and Angela Landry. Irina and Dilan focus on some of the most controversial parts of this legal document, and Dilan explains how Josh likely fails to meet the standard to get past a defendant motion to dismiss. Dilan also shows why things will probably get even worse for Josh if he does make it past such a motion, quite possibly resulting in more damaging materials and testimony appearing during the discovery process. Come find out why Dilan says that despite reading thousands of complaints in his career, Josh's complaint is unmatched in the extent to which it opens a window into a man's dark soul.
SOTI ep. 39 with Prof. Christa Laser
SOTI ep. 40 with Prof. Brandy Wagstaff
SOTI ep. 41 with Aliza Shatzman
Dilan Esper's profile
Dilan's Twitter
Joshua Wright's defamation lawsuit against Elyse Dorsey and Angela Landry (redacted by Christa Laser)
Bloomberg coverage
Global Competition Review article about GMU's reaction to the allegations
Note: According to a statement printed in the media by Lindsay McKasson, counsel to Joshua Wright at Binall Law Group "all allegations of sexual misconduct are false," "These false allegations are being made public after unsuccessfully demanding millions of dollars behind closed doors," and "We look forward to total vindication in court." According to a tweet by Prof. Christa Laser, "I don't appreciate that his attorney falsely suggests we are all lying (1/2 was in writing!) & want $ (this is a lie–I only want him gone)."
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In the third part of this coverage of the sexual misconduct allegations against ex-George Mason University law professor and former FTC Commissioner Joshua Wright, Irina speaks with a victim of judicial harassment and retaliation, attorney and activist Aliza Shatzman who founded the Legal Accountability Project. After graduating from the Washington University School of Law in 2019, Aliza began clerking for a judge in the Superior Court of the District of Columbia. After subjecting her to harassment and sex discrimination, the judge fired her and then went on to derail her legal career by providing false statements during her final reference check for a prestigious position as a federal prosecutor in such a manner that she lost the position. Irina and Aliza discuss how little has changed in the twenty years between when Irina started law school--a time of shady "open secrets" at her own alma mater and in the judiciary--and today. They talk about the roots of the culture of silence and its reinforcement via tools such as defamation lawsuits, like potentially the one currently faced by two of Josh Wright's alleged victims, and what true change and principled allyship look like.
SOTI ep. 39 with Prof. Christa Laser
SOTI ep. 40 with Prof. Brandy Wagstaff
Aliza Shatzman's profile
Aliza Shatzman’s Twitter
The Legal Accountability Project (LAP) website
Daily Mail article about the allegations against Joshua Wright
Global Competition Review article about GMU's reaction to the allegations
Note: According to a statement printed in the media by Lindsay McKasson, counsel to Joshua Wright at Binall Law Group "all allegations of sexual misconduct are false," "These false allegations are being made public after unsuccessfully demanding millions of dollars behind closed doors," and "We look forward to total vindication in court." According to a tweet by Prof. Christa Laser, "I don't appreciate that his attorney falsely suggests we are all lying (1/2 was in writing!) & want $ (this is a lie–I only want him gone)."
Joshua Wright's defamation lawsuit against Elyse Dorsey and Angela Landry (redacted by Christa Laser)
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Following up on our last episode in which Prof. Christa Laser discussed her sexual misconduct allegations against ex-George Mason University law professor and former FTC Commissioner Joshua Wright, a second alleged victim of his speaks out in full for the first time. GMU adjunct professor Brandy Wagstaff opens up in this exclusive interview about her alleged sexual relationship with Josh during her time as his student and research assistant. She also narrates the allegations made against Josh to her by her students over the years and her efforts to motivate the law school to act. Irina and Brandy discuss the culture of GMU Law and the reforms that Brandy would like to see. Furthermore, Brandy responds to Josh's defamation lawsuit against two other alleged victims that became public shortly before recording, and she explains her own decision to come forward despite the possible risks.
SOTI ep. 39 with Prof. Christa Laser
Prof. Brandy Wagstaff's faculty profile
Brandy's Twitter
Daily Mail article about the allegations against Joshua Wright
Global Competition Review article about GMU's reaction to the allegations
Note: According to a statement printed in the media by Lindsay McKasson, counsel to Joshua Wright at Binall Law Group "all allegations of sexual misconduct are false," "These false allegations are being made public after unsuccessfully demanding millions of dollars behind closed doors," and "We look forward to total vindication in court." According to a tweet by Prof. Christa Laser, "I don't appreciate that his attorney falsely suggests we are all lying (1/2 was in writing!) & want $ (this is a lie–I only want him gone)."
Joshua Wright's defamation lawsuit against Elyse Dorsey and Angela Landry (redacted by Christa Laser)
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On this Breaking News episode, Irina interviews patent law scholar Prof. Christa Laser about her sexual harassment allegations against just-departed George Mason University antitrust law professor and former FTC Commissioner Joshua Wright. In a tweet (accompanied by a screenshotted email) viewed by hundreds of thousands of people, Christa described how Josh asked her out on a date while GMU hiring chair when he knew that she was desperate to remain in the DC area to maintain custody of her two children. Christa's tweet prompted multiple former students and employees of Josh's to come out publicly with allegations of his having (successfully) pressured them into inappropriate sexual relationships when he held their careers in his hands. Christa and Irina discuss the possible professional repercussions against female "troublemakers" who call out rule- and law-breaking at their institutions. They analyze how and why legal academia breeds predatory and discriminatory behavior, how allies can help, and what reform might look like in light of this #metoo moment.
SOTI ep. 40 with Prof. Brandy Wagstaff narrating her own and her students' allegations against Joshua Wright
Christa's original tweet making allegations against Joshua Wright
Christa's tweet of GMU's response to the allegations by her and several other women
Daily Mail article about the allegations against Joshua Wright
Global Competition Review article about GMU's reaction to the allegations
Note: According to a statement printed in the media by Lindsay McKasson, counsel to Joshua Wright at Binall Law Group "all allegations of sexual misconduct are false," "These false allegations are being made public after unsuccessfully demanding millions of dollars behind closed doors," and "We look forward to total vindication in court." According to a tweet by Christa, "I don't appreciate that his attorney falsely suggests we are all lying (1/2 was in writing!) & want $ (this is a lie–I only want him gone)."
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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