Episodes
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Confidence Hack #83: Life without stress is not a life you want to live.
According to the American Psychological Association, as of 2022, 76% of Americans admit to being overly stressed out. If I had a nickel for every time I heard someone say, ‘I can’t wait until I am able to retire…’
Yeah, and do what? Go sit on a beach in Florida and die 8.6 years sooner than you would if you were stimulating your brain?
Let me introduce you to what will become your new favorite term: healthy stress. New research from UC Berkeley has uncovered exactly how acute stress—short-lived, not chronic—primes the brain for improved performance. Intermittent stress has been shown to increase neurons in the hippocampus, which are responsible for improved memory, adaptability, increased focus, and overall higher performance.
If you have too much of it on the left side (let’s call this side the bad stress), it will dominate your life, and you will be in constant fight or flight mode. If you do have not enough of it on the left side and the right side skyrockets to the top (let’s call this side the ‘sitting on the beach doing nothing in Florida' side), your brain will become unstimulated, and you will be more likely to fall into the category of ‘death by retirement.’
The confidence boost today comes from understanding that stress is not necessarily a bad thing, and when used correctly, it can actually be a net gain.
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Confidence Hack #82: The ability to self-educate has never been easier!
Sorry scholars who took years and years to develop those books, the new go-to is pursing a doctorate in the education of YouTube. The question you should be asking right now is not, ‘What can you learn on YouTube?’ The question you need to be asking yourself is instead, ‘What can’t you learn on YouTube?’
A 2018 Pew Research Study found that 85% of Generation Z prefer YouTube as an education over reading books. The same study found that 51% of those viewers were actually on YouTube to learn.
One of the highest-paid YouTubers is Jeffree Star. Star is a YouTuber who focuses on beauty, makeup, and cosmetics. In 2019, Star made $17 million from YouTube alone, making him the fifth highest-paid YouTuber of that year.
Do you know where Star crafted and sharpened his ability? Through watching YouTube videos. There is no longer any excuse for ‘not being educated.’
Gain confidence today knowing that a high-level education and potentially a career making $17 million a year as a YouTube expert are yours for the taking!
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Missing episodes?
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Confidence Hack #81: Ummmm.... uh...these hurt how people perceive you!
Once you start listening for it when in conversation with others, you can’t unhear it.
Humans use these spacers not because it makes them sound more intelligent; it’s because most people are ‘afraid of the pause.’
If you listen to some of the best speakers of all time, such as Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., John Maxwell, and Mel Robbins, you will find they often pause while speaking, even to the point where it feels uncomfortable for the listener. I have had to work on this skill as a professional motivational speaker. And trust me, it’s not easy at first.
It’s all about what happens in that open space. If it is filled with nonsensical fillers like ‘uh and um,’ you will lower your perception of your intelligence. If it is filled with silence, you will increase your perception of your intelligence.
Gain confidence today, knowing that the silent pause is something to embrace, not to run from. Try it today in conversation. It might feel uncomfortable at first, but I promise you if you stick with it, you will learn to love the pause.
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Confidence Hack #80: Hard work and quick thinking can change your life!
You probably recognize Wolfgang Puck. But do you know how his name became synonymous with Michelin-star restaurant quality?
The kitchen was out of bread. That’s how he created his world-famous pizza, out of pure necessity.
He trusted his intuition, and he life-improved.
That’s why it’s called ‘thinking on your feet.’ You aren’t faced with these difficult decisions when you are sitting down in your favorite pondering chair. You are faced with them in real-time, on your feet.
Today’s confidence boost comes from improving when you don’t know what to do instead of conceding. You are an expert in your field and in yourself. Trust your skills and intuition; maybe you’ll make the next smoked salmon pizza.
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Confidence Hack #79: Enthusiasm, the trait no one wants less of!
I mean, think about it: the difference between getting a coffee and the person making your coffee couldn’t care less about your cup of joe vs. the person who tells you about the origin of the coffee bean itself and that it was roasted high in the mountains of Columbia at 7,000 ft elevation.
That is the difference in enthusiasm. Now, I’m not saying to fake enthusiasm. But, the awareness of it is vital.
Here are 5 ways to start infusing more enthusiasm into your life today:
Eliminate your time around toxic people
Take a risk
Smile
Create a ‘complaining jar’
Do something creative daily
Today’s confidence boost comes through implementing one (or ideally all five) of these enthusiasm ignitors to your day. Eventually, the more you focus on these five enthusiastic boosters, the more it will become a way of life—a life filled with infectious enthusiasm.
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Confidence Hack #78: According to DataReportal, as of 2023, the average American spends 6 hours and 59 minutes on a screen. Per day!
If you are into health and wellness, then I’m sure you’ve heard of Intermittent Fasting. It’s a trendy way to lose weight based on compressing the time window for eating. Usually, the eating hours are open from noon to 8pm or even as small as 2pm to 6pm.
The concept builds parameters so the person reaching for the donut at 7am (and 8am) won’t. Today, you and I will make the term’ Intermittent Screen Time Fasting’ a thing together.
Why isn’t it easy for everyone to turn off their phone and put the screen down? Nomophobia. There is actually a phobia, which describes the fear of being without a phone.
In a study done by Psychology Today - they found that just by putting down the phone for an hour each day improves:
Sleep Quality
Sex life
Energy throughout the day
Ability to get out of bed faster the next morning
Lower depression rates
The confidence boost today comes from right here, right now, setting up the hour window (just like intermittent food fasting) that you are going to be on your phone.
Once you commit to a time window, that’s what you are sticking to. Try it for a week, and if you like it (which I have an excellent feeling you will), make it a daily habit.
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Confidence Hack #77: The true stories of those who survived 9/11 due to schedule interruptions.
I’m sure we all have, but try to remember a time recently when you got so frustrated over the slightest mishap in your schedule. Let me introduce you to the ‘unknown near-miss experiences.’
September 11th, 2001, is a day that will live in infamy in United States history. Everyone who was alive can remember precisely where they were on that day.
A woman was late because her alarm clock didn’t go off on time.
Another man survived because it was his turn to bring donuts to the office.
Someone else was delayed due to being stuck in a long traffic jam on the New Jersey Turnpike.
One person’s car simply wouldn’t start.
That morning, a man wore a brand new pair of shoes, got a blister, and had to stop at a pharmacy for a plaster.
Those are all true stories of people who unknowingly avoided death. I doubt they look at the minor annoyances of their days the same way most people do. They know they are on borrowed time.
And that’s the thing: we are all on borrowed time.
Today’s confidence boost comes from taking a minute to think about the truth—there have been many situations where we could have very easily expired, but we didn’t. And that alone can give us a new sense of joy and perspective.
Gain confidence knowing that God is protecting you even from the things you don’t know and even when they might seem like burdens at the moment. Burdens can be blessings in disguise.
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Confidence Hack #76: Writing is better than typing.
All right, self admittance here. I have horrible handwriting. Not just bad, really bad. Be it as it may, I march on. There is absolute power in the brain and pen connection.
Your memory of handwritten words is tied to the movements required to make each letter. When you write by hand, your brain actually gets an encoding boost.
It’s unclear how much more powerful writing is than typing, but experts have estimated it can be up to 5x more powerful. Writing vs. only auditorily hearing the information can be up to 20 times more powerful in retention.
Today’s confidence boost comes from committing to journal daily - either in the morning or evening. And bonus points if you carry a notebook around with you where you go. Some of the smartest people and best leaders I have been around do this. Erik Spoelstra, head coach of the Miami Heat and one of the top coaches in all of North American sports history, brings a notebook to every dinner meeting we have and avidly takes notes. If the best of the best do it, we may, too!
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Confidence Hack #75: Students read books they are interested in.
Do you remember reading George Orwell’s ‘Animal Farm’ in 6th grade and having no clue what it was about, literally checking out after hearing the pig talks? I have nothing against Orwell; he’s one of my favorite authors of all time, and he’s brilliant. But in sixth grade?? Come on, school systems.
Finland has scored as the top education system throughout the 2000s. Why is this?
A multitude of reasons ranging from:
Students stay with the same teacher for multiple years
Outside activities are mandatory
No standardized testing
Cooperation with, not competition against
Fewer hours of the day actually ‘in school’
Among many others, the most telling reason is allowing students to read books they are interested in. It’s like anything: if you force someone to do something they don’t enjoy or understand, there will be no benefit.
Today, the confidence boost comes from embracing reading what you enjoy! It doesn’t have to be the headiest novel written in 10th-century English, and please, parents and teachers, don’t force kids to read something they despise and can’t comprehend. Read for enjoyment, and the increased fun of learning will follow!
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Confidence Hack #74: Someone ahead of you paved your way, and you are doing the same for others.
In the mid-1800s, on the path known as the Oregon Trail, it took an average of six months for a family to venture from Texas to Oregon. Now, it takes 4 hours and 25 minutes to fly from Austin, Texas, to Portland, Oregon.
If you are not seeing the fruits of your labor today, know they are setting up someone else’s path. And if you are finding it easy to walk the path towards your goals, don’t forget someone set that path up for you. Nothing is of loss if you view it this way.
Today’s episode is about Henrietta Lacks. Henrietta Lacks, a 31-year-old mother of five, died of cervical cancer on 4 October 1951. Lacks’s cells – known as HeLa, using the first two letters of each of her names – became the first immortal human cell line in history.
All types of research and experiments suddenly became possible. Lacks’ cells were the first ever to survive and grow. Her cells were later described as one in three billion.
HeLa cells went on to help develop in vitro fertilization and several chemotherapy drugs among hundreds of medical advances.
Today's confidence boost comes from knowing that even if you don’t reap the benefits of what you are going through, someone else will. Keep going. And if you are reaping benefits, be grateful for those who paved the way before you.
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Confidence Hack #73: Imposter Syndrome means you are doing something RIGHT.
Have you Felt Imposter Syndrome before? Yeah, I think we all have to some extent.
Imposter Syndrome is the persistent inability to believe that one’s success is deserved or has been legitimately achieved through one’s own efforts or skills.
Today, I’m going to flip imposter syndrome on its head completely. The feeling of the ‘well, I’m not sure if I belong’ is actually a good feeling! It might not feel great at the moment, but it is a mental signal that you are growing, learning, and stretching.
The confidence boost today comes from flipping the mindset around ‘imposter syndrome.’ Don’t avoid the feeling; embrace it. If you feel like an imposter in what you are doing today, that just means you are learning, growing, stretching, and becoming a better version of yourself!
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Confidence Hack #72: A butterfly flaps its wings in Brazil and causes a tornado in Texas.
North American theoretical meteorologist Edward Lorenz found something strange while studying weather patterns. In 1961, Lorenz was running a numerical computer model to redo a weather prediction he had currently been working on. Lorenz left the room and walked down the hall to get a cup of coffee. He entered the initial condition 0.506 from the printout instead of the complete precision 0.506127 value as he was in a hurry. When he returned, the result was a completely different weather scenario. The computer had simulated months into the future. Due to a minimal numerical rounding in his equation, the differences more or less steadily doubled in size every four days or so until all resemblance with the original output disappeared somewhere in the second month. Lorenz’s ‘accidental’ study discovered that the smallest occurrences in one area can lead to a domino effect in another.
Gain confidence today that something is happening right now that will propel you into the next level of your life.
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Confidence Hack #71: Pedigree only means where you came from, not where you are going.
Even if you look like your parents and can trace your DNA back to your great-great-grandparents, that doesn’t mean you must follow in their footsteps.
The word pedigree means: ‘the recorded ancestry.’
Technically, pedigree only concerns where you came from, not where you are going.
Tyler Perry has become one of the most successful producers, creators, and overall talents in Film and TV of all time. He was born into poverty in New Orleans, Louisiana, and his childhood was marked by poverty and a household of abuse.
His story today is a testimony of how pedigree and DNA do not define the success or the future you can have!
Gain confidence knowing that no matter what your pedigree says, you don’t have to agree. Your upbringing does not determine who you are or who you will be. Remember, pedigree is ‘recorded ancestry.’ Pedigree does not determine destiny!
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Confidence Hack #70: The best-selling book of all time specifically mentions confidence 60 times, and this is why that is important.
Anything mentioned more than 25 times should open our eyes. More than 50, we should become very aware of. Not many words or phrases are mentioned more than confidence in the Bible.
The main point I want to outline here is that confidence is not used the same way throughout. The majority of uses pertain to trust in others, trust in circumstances, and trust in God.
We often think confidence has to do with ourselves, but the Bible points directly to confidence correlated with the word trust.
Confidence is trust.
Trust is confidence.
Gain confidence today knowing that one of the most used words in the best-selling book of all time, The Bible, is confidence. Confidence in who God has created you to be. Confidence in the plan He has for your life. And Confidence in God Himself.
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Confidence Hack #69: The power of collective intelligence and multiple mind collaboration.
I’m going to introduce you to the beauty of ‘a group-thinking.’ No matter how smart you think you might be on your own, you’re not. You can be the absolute best in your industry, but your brain’s capacity will never reach the potential capacity of multiple brains working together.
We need others. No one in the history of ever did something great on their own. Trust me, there was always a group or a team (even if just one other person) that helped them get to where they are.
Gain confidence today, knowing that you don’t have to figure it all out on your own. You don’t have to live life alone. You are not alone. Find your tribe and group so you can contribute your knowledge and skill set to create an incredible team! It can be your family, co-workers, or friends. Don’t think for one second that you must do everything alone. You don’t. And you can’t!
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Confidence Hack #68: Being the ultimate ‘glue guy’ translates to a winning culture.
Shane Battier. From the outside world looking in, Shane’s skills weren’t flashy. He wasn’t dunking on anyone’s head or making the coolest crossover moves. He wasn’t even stuffing the stat sheet like you would think an NBA player would. But what Shane brought to every team he played for at every level was the most critical aspect a player can bring: winning.
Adhesion and cohesion are the two main components in making glue sticky. Shane's General Manager, when he played for the Houston Rockets, Daryl Morey, stated, “I call him Lego. When he’s on the court, all the pieces start to fit together. Shane’s physical skills might have not been on par with the top players in his sport, but no one matched his IQ, EQ, and ability to be the glue guy for every team he was on.
What if you were the glue guy or glue girl for your family?
For your company?
For your friends?
For the team around you? You can be!
Gain confidence today knowing that being the ‘glue guy’ in your life is far more important than being the ‘star.’
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Confidence Hack #67: Not everyone is a leader traditionally, but everyone is a leader in some way.
In business - the Lattice System is a hierarchical approach that directly opposes the more familiar structure of the ‘Ladder System.’ The Lattice System encourages more communication and cross-collaboration. Instead of waiting for orders to be sent down the chain of command, the impetus is placed on the employees to empower themselves and work in unison with others.
Whose orders are you waiting for to take action on your dream? Not everyone is a leader traditionally, but everyone is a leader somehow.
When everyone on your team is empowered (both in business and your team in life), people are more energized and passionate about their mission. Lattice systems give decision-making ownership to each and everyone’s daily rhythm.
Today's confidence boost comes from embracing the lattice system in your business and personal life. It doesn’t mean you don’t take orders from anyone; it just means opening up to cross-collaborating with people you might not have interacted with before and empowering them along the way.
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Confidence Hack #66: How to go to sleep without mind-racing thoughts.
Do you keep yourself up at night because you can’t seem to turn off your ‘racing mind'? It’s very, very common.
Anxiety never leads to confidence. However, a race is technically run to be won. So, if your mind is racing, you can shift the direction in your favor.
Before you go to bed, write out every thought on a piece of paper or your journal. Don’t leave any out. The act of writing out your ‘racing mind’ is giving your mind permission to store the thoughts that are causing you anxiety in a different place than your brain.
Gain confidence today by knowing that if your mind is racing when you lay your head down, that is normal! Try writing down all your thoughts and mentally moving them to their ‘storage locker.’ They will be there in the morning; you don’t have to take them to sleep with you!
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Confidence Hack #65: Performing mental time travel can help us remember our most significant accomplishments!
Have you ever heard of the ‘Forgetting Curve?’ I hadn’t either. Through extensive research, Hermann Ebbinghaus concluded that people will have forgotten an average of 50 percent of the information within one hour. Within 24 hours, they have forgotten an average of 70 percent of new information, and within a week, forgetting claims an average of 90 percent of it. Wow.
In this confidence hack, I want to focus on what I call ‘mental time travel.’ Today, we are taking a trip back in time to remember when you accomplished a feat you had initially doubted you could do.
Did you raise two kids without a playbook, and they turned out to be amazing human beings?
Did you make a sale you had no faith would land?
Recall whatever that moment was and use these steps:
Visualize
Write it down
Tell the story to someone
Repeat. For 28 days.
Gain confidence today in time traveling back into your past and quantum leaping back a memory you can recall whenever you need a confidence boost!
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Confidence Hack #64: Steve Jobs’s success cannot be defined without his failures.
In 1985, Apple produced two supposedly revolutionary products - the Lisa and the MacIntosh. Sales didn’t scratch the floor of Apple’s expectations for the products. Someone had to go. CEO Steve Jobs was the one headed to the guillotine.
Jobs didn’t lick his wounds in a pity party for himself. He used what he knew he had, a skill set to ideate and innovate. He created the company NeXT. Eleven years after its inception, Jobs sold NeXT to none other than, you guessed it, Apple for $429 million.
You will never hit 100% of the shots you take. Probably not even 50%, to be completely honest, and that’s okay!
Gain confidence today, knowing every successful person you admire has experienced a massive flop. You are the Phoenix. Gain energy and power through the flop and rise again, even higher and greater than before!
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