Episódios
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We often get questions about whether teachers or other folks who interact with our kids can have blocked care. Or what about siblings? Also, can you have blocked care towards a spouse? Since we weren't the first ones to name blocked care, we went to the source. We are thrilled to bring you this conversation with Dr. Jonathan Baylin, author of Brain-Based Parenting and other works, and Jessica Sinarski of BraveBrains. Besides digging deeper in the science of caregiving, we also talk about the differences between primary and secondary blocked care and blocked compassion.
Dr. Baylin received his doctorate in clinical psychology from Peabody College of Vanderbilt University in 1981. While continuing his clinical practice, he has immersed himself in the study of neurobiology and in teaching mental health practitioners about the brain. Dr. Baylin has delivered keynote sessions at international conferences and has also given numerous workshops both internationally and regionally within the USA.
Jessica Sinarski is a licensed mental health counselor, educator, and award-winning author. She is also the founder of the resource and training platform BraveBrains. Jessica makes tough topics easier, empowering the healers and the cycle breakers among us. She lives in Pennsylvania with her husband and three busy boys.
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links
Brain-Based Parenting: The Neuroscience of Caregiving for Healthy Attachment* by Baylin and Hughes
Connect with Jessica on Instagram
Climbing Out of Chronic Stress (with printable cheat sheet)
FREE Blocked Care Assessment
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Marriage is already hard, but add in parenting children with significant needs and blocked care, and staying married may seem impossible. In this episode, Lisa and Melissa answer two listener questions about marriage and blocked care with personal stories and practical tips. If you're not married, you'll still find insights you can apply to your close relationships with folks who love your family.
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links
FREE Blocked Care Assessment
Dr. Sue Johnson (Emotionally Focused Therapy)
Books by Dr. Sue Johnson*
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We believe that overcoming blocked care is best in community. In this episode, we explore the power of community and compassion in the journey of foster care and adoption. Kayla North generously shares her experiences of blocked care and how support, self-care, and practical strategies can lead to resilience and healing. They also talk about how mom's found hope through attending Reclaim Compassion book clubs last summer.
Ryan and Kayla North are a dynamic husband-and wife duo who have dedicated their careers to helping adults create environments where children feel safe, welcome, and loved. Through their work, they have become trusted voices for parents, professionals, churches, and educators. They are Co-Founders of One Big Happy Home and the Empowered Parent Podcast.
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links
Connect with Kayla on Instagram
Free Reclaim Compassion Group Guide -
Lisa and Amber Reynolds (our Director of Communications) chat about the challenges of parenting a young child struggling with mental illness. Amber shares candidly about what she wishes she had done differently, how her son's mental illness affected her health, and how she's overcoming blocked care. As an Enneagram 8, Amber loves advocating well for all those in her care. She and her husband, Chris, have been foster parents for seven years and have three children through adoption.
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links
Connect with Amber on Instagram
Join Reclaim Compassion -
Generally, what we carry into our childhoods and throughout our adulthood is part of a wider series, even patterns, of behavior, traumas, and worldviews. In this workshop, Dr. Stoker will give a very brief overview of Family Systems theory. You will learn:
highlights for Family Systems theory
a narrative that will assist you in seeing systems more objectively
tools to heal and offer hope for those with whom you live and serve
Dr. Andy Stoker (he/him) is married to Megan, and they are parents to two sons, Alex (20) and Wesley (15). Andy is an ordained United Methodist minister, holds a secular PhD in Family Science, and is a certified mindfulness meditation teacher in the Western Buddhist tradition. He currently serves as the Senior Pastor of Central United Methodist Church in Albuquerque, New Mexico. For over two decades, Andy advocated for justice, fairness, equity, and inclusiveness in the Dallas area in the areas of public education, fair employment, healthcare access, and housing justice. In his free time, he co-hosts a parenting podcast with a psychologist and pediatrician called “Parenting for the Present."
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links
Connect with Andy on Instagram
Parenting for the Present podcast
Generation to Generation: Family Process in Church and Synagogue* by Edwin H. Friedman
Bowen Theory's Secrets* by Michael Kerr
The Bowen Center on Youtube
A Family Genogram Workbook* by by Israel Galindo, Elaine Boomer, and Don Reagan
*this is an affiliate link -
Foster care and adoption are full of ambiguous losses and disenfranchised grief. In this episode, Lisa and Melissa discuss the gap between expectations and reality which can lead to feelings of grief. They offer tangible practices, including writing, verbal processing, and bodywork. The importance of acknowledging and processing darker emotions such as sadness, anger, or resentment without judgment is emphasized. Lastly, they mention adapting these practices for children experiencing similar grief and loss.
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links
Reclaim Compassion: The Adoptive Parent's Guide to Overcoming Blocked Care with Neuroscience and Faith* by Qualls and Corkum
#33: Grieving the unexpected losses in adoption
#121: An Introduction to Trauma & Tension Release Exercise (TRE) with Christa Bevan
FREE Facebook Group
* this is an affiliate link -
Rebekah Cook shares her experiences of fostering children of incarcerated moms through a ministry called Jonah's Journey. She emphasizes the importance of establishing a relationship with the biological parents and discusses the unique challenges and rewards of this type of foster care. Rebekah also touches on her struggle with blocked care and how she sought support and healing.
Rebekah is a stay at home mom and former elementary school teacher who is passionate about loving and serving vulnerable moms in her community. She and her husband, Josh, are parents to 7 kids through birth, adoption and foster care. They are also loving their newest roles as grandparents to two little ones!
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links
Jonah's Journey -
One of the signs of blocked care is isolation. In this episode, Lisa and Melissa chat about the importance of building supportive communities in virtual and real-life spaces. They recommend parents seek out and engage in safe, validating communities where they can discuss their challenges openly. All parents need to fill up their "relationship bucket" in order to maintain compassionate parenting.
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links
Join Reclaim Compassion
Join our free Facebook group
House of Eve* by Sadeqa Johnson
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This week we answer listener questions such as:
What resources would you recommend for Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA)?
Do you have any wisdom to share about parenting a teenager with borderline personality disorder?
What if things don't get better?
Click here to download the transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links
PDA Masterclass
Melissa's Ted Talk on Redefining Success
The Gap and the Gain Podcast
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Many adoptive and foster parents wonder if their child may have FASD or they have a diagnosis but aren't sure what to do next. Last time Sandra explored the impact of prenatal exposure to alcohol on a developing baby and identify the primary, secondary, and tertiary symptoms of FASD. This week in Part 2, you will learn practical techniques for accommodating and supporting children with FASD.
Sandra Flach is a mom of 8 children, 5 through adoption—2 diagnosed with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. She encourages and equips foster and adoptive parents through her weekly Adoption & Foster Care Journey Podcast and blogs at SandraFlach.com. Sandra is co-founder of Justice For Orphans and author of Orphans No More: A Journey Back to the Father. She is also a trained facilitator of the FASCETS Neurobehavioral Model. Sandra and her husband Wayne have been married 35 years. They reside in upstate New York where they love to spend time with family, especially their 8 grandchildren.
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links
Justice for Orphans
Sandra's Blog
Orphans No More* by Sandra Flach
*this is an affiliate link -
Many adoptive and foster parents wonder if their child may have FASD, or they have a diagnosis but aren't sure what to do next. In Part 1 of this workshop, you will explore the impact of prenatal exposure to alcohol on a developing baby and identify the primary, secondary, and tertiary symptoms of FASD. In Part 2, you will learn practical techniques for accommodating and supporting children with FASD.
Sandra Flach is a mom of 8 children, 5 through adoption—2 diagnosed with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. She encourages and equips foster and adoptive parents through her weekly Adoption & Foster Care Journey Podcast and blogs at SandraFlach.com. Sandra is co-founder of Justice For Orphans and author of Orphans No More: A Journey Back to the Father. She is also a trained facilitator of the FASCETS Neurobehavioral Model. Sandra and her husband Wayne have been married 35 years. They reside in upstate NY where they love to spend time with family, especially their 8 grandchildren.
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links
Justice for Orphans
Sandra's Blog
Orphans No More* by Sandra Flach
*this is an affiliate link -
Last year's reflection episode was a listener favorite, so we're back with another one! With the demands of life and parenting, it can be hard to find time to stop and reflect. But pausing and reflecting is good for our soul, our nervous system, and our relationships. In this last episode for 2023 we thought it would be fun to answer the following questions:
Describe a moment of clarity in 2023
Name something that became newly important to you in 2023
What is one new thing you want to explore in 2024
What do I have right now that, five years ago, I only dreamed about having?
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links
Centering Prayer MP3
Music for the podcast was composed by Oleksandr Oleksandrov on Pond5. -
Kinship care, the full-time care of a child by relatives, comes with many added relationship dynamics and complexities. In this episode Nakole Wooley shares how they navigate the challenges of kinship care, and the importance of overcommunication and compassion in the process.
Nakole and her husband, Brandon, have been married 15 years. They are raising six kids including three who joined their family through kinship care. She is a military veteran and a licensed master social worker in Missouri. She and Brandon are also Cultivate Connection Facilitators.
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links
Blocked Care 101
Reclaim Compassion: The Adoptive Parent's Guide to Overcoming Blocked Care with Neuroscience and Faith* by Qualls and Corkum
Join Reclaim Compassion
Free Blocked Care Assessment
*this is an affiliate link -
In this episode Angela Coston, the executive director of For the Sake of One, shares her journey as an adoptive and foster mom. She candidly discusses her experiences and challenges in parenting children with complex needs while being a community leader. Angela explains how being able to name blocked care helped her shed the shame that she was abnormal or a bad parent. She shares practical strategies that helped her overcome blocked care and highlights the importance of setting boundaries and taking time for nervous system care to maintain resilience. Through her personal experiences and growth, Angela offers hope to listeners, emphasizing that while it might get worse before it gets better, it's entirely possible to navigate the challenges of parenting children with complex needs while taking care of yourself and learning to understand blocked care.
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links
For the Sake of One Website
FREE Blocked Care Assessment
Reclaim Compassion* by Lisa C. Qualls and Melissa Corkum
*this is an affiliate link -
Many children with early adversity have an overactive stress response that can create challenging behaviors. In this engaging workshop you will see compelling case studies, visuals, and research about the role of innate neurodevelopmental movements in healthy physical, mental, and social-emotional functioning. You will gain a new perspective about the importance of neurodevelopmental movements and how they can help with anxiety disorders; sensory issues; overwhelm; and fight, flight and freeze states.
Sonia Story developed the Brain and Sensory Foundations curriculum to provide comprehensive training in the use of neurodevelopmental movements for addressing sensory, learning, physical, behavioral, emotional, social, and speech challenges. Since 2006, she has been working with children, parents, and professionals in hands-on sessions and training courses. Sonia’s courses are approved for professional continuing education for occupational and physical therapists, mental health counselors, myofunctional therapists, and massage therapists. Her work has been featured in the books, Almost Autism: Recovering Children from Sensory Processing Disorder; Special Ed Mom Survival Guide; Family Health Revolution; and Same Journey, Different Paths, Stories of Auditory Processing Disorder.
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links
Sonia's website
Connect with Sonia on Instagram
Slides from Sonia's presentation
FREE Resources page for Mental Health Professionals and Parents
Click here to join Reclaim Compassion for future workshops -
Is your adoption journey turning out differently than you imagined? You had so much love to give, but now you feel ashamed and bewildered by your lack of compassion.
You may be experiencing blocked care—a self-protective mechanism in your nervous system that makes it difficult to connect with your child and maintain compassion. When it happens, it’s like your heart seems to have left the relationship.
In this episode, we identify the ten signs of blocked care and how to overcome them. It is never too late to reclaim compassion for yourself and your kids!
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links
Our new Adoption Wise website
Free Blocked Care assessment
Reclaim Compassion: The Adoptive Parent's Guide to Overcoming Blocked Care with Neuroscience and Faith* by Lisa C. Qualls and Melissa Corkum
Join our Reclaim Compassion coaching group
* this is an affiliate link
Music for the podcast was composed by Oleksandr Oleksandrov on Pond5. -
Every adoptee walks through life dealing with the loss of at least their first family, and each one will experience that loss with a different lens. This week, Suzanne Stabile joins Lisa and Melissa for a rich conversation about adoption, the Enneagram, mystery, and curiosity. Suzanne shares vulnerably about how she's dealing with the "adoption-shaped hole" in her life.
As an internationally recognized Enneagram Master, Suzanne has conducted over 500 Enneagram workshops over the past 30 years. She's the author of The Road Back to You, The Path Between Us, and The Journey Toward Wholeness. When she is not on the road teaching and lecturing, Suzanne is at home in Dallas, Texas with her husband, Rev. Joseph Stabile, a United Methodist pastor with whom she co-founded Life in the Trinity Ministry and the Micah Center. She is the mother of four children and grandmother of nine.
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links
Life in the Trinity Ministry
The Enneagram Journey Podcast
Ambiguous Loss* by Pauline Boss
Healing Through the Dark Emotions* by Miriam Greenspan
The Girls Who Went Away* by Anne Fessler
*this is an affiliate link -
Do you have a child who doesn't seem to be fully present? Perhaps it seems they're often daydreaming or in la-la land. This can be especially frustrating if they have trouble focusing at school or completing a task. In this workshop you'll learn:
the neurobiology of shutdown
how la-la land is protective
how to offer safety and connection
Robyn loves cultivating deep, resonant connections with anyone who is up for it, and is especially fond of all the grown-ups in the world who love and care for kids impacted by trauma- helpers, healers, educators, and parents. Her favorite thing ever (besides glittery coffee mugs) is teaching anyone who will listen to harness the power of neuroscience so they can cultivate deep, resonant connections. What would change in the world if we could all do that? To see, be with, feel, and deeply know each other…and ourselves. Robyn thinks everything could change. You can get your hands on all sorts of free resources at www.RobynGobbel.com, including her podcast The Baffling Behavior Show. Robyn’s first book, Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work, will hit bookshelves everywhere September 21, 2023.
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links
Robyn's website
Connect with Robyn on Instagram
Connect with Robyn on Facebook
How to Change People Pleasing Behavior
Free Webinar from Robyn
The Connected Therapist* by Marti Smith
Click here to download the handout for this workshop
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This week we answer listener questions such as:
How do I prepare for every possible scenario and keep balance in our lives?
Why does our young adult reject us but show loyalty to practical strangers?
How do I help my spouse with blocked care?
How do I provide choices to a child who doesn't learn from poor ones?
Click here to download the transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links
# 41: Mentally Preparing For Your Adoption or Fostering Journey – The 11 most important things you need to know
#42: Practically Preparing For Your Adoption or Fostering Journey – The 6 most important things you need to do
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Join Lisa as she talks with Amy J. Brown about the journey of parenting children with special needs. We talk about the moment she realized her children's challenges were going to change her life and family forever. We talk honestly about guilt and shame as adoptive moms, blocked care, and a practical exercise for moving from guilt to acceptance.
Amy J. Brown is a writer, mentor, and co-host of the podcast, Take Heart. She is the author of the book The Other Side Of Special: Navigating the Messy, Emotional, and Joy-Filled Life of a Special Needs Mom. Amy has a Master’s Degree in Spiritual Formation and Leadership. She shares honestly about adoption and parenting children with mental health issues and trauma. She is the mother of six children. She lives with her husband in Michigan.
Click here to download a transcript for this episode.
Relevant Links
The Other Side of Special* by Amy J. Brown, Sara Clime, Carrie M. Holt
Connect on Instagram
Join our Reclaim Compassion Coaching Group
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