エピソード
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In this ep, I share an emotional voice message from when I knew I had to leave pro soccer and focus on my healing. I honestly didn’t realize how much I was hating soccer at the time, until my concerning brain scan forced me to step away.
I packed up from Utah, and as soon as I landed in Portland, I embarked on a camping road trip with my friends Paige and Keelin (who have both been on the pod, ep. 38 and ep.58) to Lake Tahoe. I was asked to be a crew member for Paige who was running in the Western States, one of the most highly coveted 100-mile races in the world (that only psycho people ((I love psycho people)) choose to be a part of).
I share another voice message (that at the time, I saved in my phone as "pep talk be you do you f**k others") I recorded from the trip that starts with me feeling really unsettled in my body, questioning WTF I am doing with my life. And then, by the end of it, I’m delivering an animated pep talk to myself about how fucking weird I am, but that’s okay, and suppressing our weird is what causes our pain. It makes me LOL and I hope it makes you LOL too. Or get hyped. Or both.
Enjoy!
More musings and mentoring here: http://kendallperiod.com
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Today’s plog is a journeyyyy. I start off sitting in a chair, looking up in the stars, sharing where I’m at in life and what exactly is a “plog.” I then tell the story of when I was playing pro soccer, dealing with severe concussion symptoms, and participated in an intensive stay at a concussion clinic. At the end of the clinic, I meet with the doctor who revealed to me some results on my brain scan that completely changed my life as I knew it. I inserted the actual conversation w/ this doc, as well as other raw audio messages. Heads up, I cry. This is saying a lot, considering that I was a clogged sink when it came to emotions at the time.
I then go back to the stars and share a bit more about the unconventional healing route I’ve gone on to step further into my fullest expression and to heal my physical concussion symptoms.
My website: www.arrowliving.com
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エピソードを見逃しましたか？
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In today’s episode I interview brave human being and pro soccer player Sydney Miramontez.
Sydney and I met playing for the Utah Royals together. Before a few weeks ago we had no idea that, at the time, we were both secretly struggling with our own eating disorders.
In our conversation, Sydney opens up about her unhealthy relationship to food and exercise. She shares how it all started and tools that helped her to work through it.
I personally am most fascinated by the role that birth control played in her journey and how it wreaked havoc on her body.
She dives into how her own research and intuition led her to discover the pill’s negative side effects and how much it just straight up sucks for women’s hormones.
If you stick to the end, I was a sneaky lil beezy and continued recording our convo after our interview ended, and it gets juicyyyyy. We talk about the power of periods, how they are deeply misunderstood and could literally be utilized to teams' advantages. Sydney also shares about what it was like sharing her story publicly for the first time.
I’m so thankful for Syd’s vulnerability. I know there are so many female athletes who are struggling with their relationship to food, exercise, and their body, it’s simply just not talked about. If this is you, you are not alone!
Follow Sydney on instagram
Follow Arrow Living on instagram
ArrowLiving.com
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I hated my body, but now I love it and it weirds me out
Today’s episode is a follow-up of my last one on how I healed my “disordered eating.” In particular, I dive deep into my tumultuous relationship to my body.
From bed-ridden concussion symptoms, to digestive issues, disordered eating, to hating what stared back at me in the mirror… my relationship to my body has been through the ringer. For so long, I viewed my body as the thing that was holding me back from doing the things I wanted to do in my life. I felt like a caged animal. A hermit crab, superglued to its shell, sporadically tortured by random emotional and physical sensations, with no place to escape.
When I started learning about the nervous system, everything changed.
In this episode I talk about:
-why over-achieving affected my confidence in my body
-the misconception that being positive about your body is healing
-going from hating my body to being at peace with it
-how I’m losing weight working out less and eating more
And more.
Enjoy :)
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In today's episode, I go in depth about how about how I healed my "eating disorder'. I share how it all started, the shame I felt for binging in secret , resources that helped, and the book that changed my life and got me to the other side.
Read the written article HERE
One on one mentoring HERE
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I have something on my heart that I’ve wanted to share about for years, but it felt too shameful to reveal while I was going through it.
I had binge eating disorder.
“Binge eating disorder” feels like three measly words that don’t encapsulate the hell my body went through during this experience.
For 7 years, food consumed my life. What started with the pure intention to heal digestion issues, quickly and also slowly spiraled into being about so much more. Eating was about my livelihood. I held this belief that if ate perfectly, then I would heal my concussion, I would get the body of my dreams, attract my soul mate and, most importantly, I would be able to get back to playing soccer like myself.
Food thoughts consumed my life. I attributed my lingering concussion symptoms to not being strict enough with my diets.
I know now, that this is complete and utter nonsense. But, fuck, when you’re in it, it’s a dark and shameful place. Because you don’t know why you can’t stop your binging, especially when it’s the thing you loathe about yourself the most. I’ve never felt more out of control.
I share this story with so much compassion for myself and anyone who resonates with it. I believe that disordered eating and body image issues are way way way more prominent than we know. Especially, in the female athletic world.
I’ll be sharing how I got to the other side in the future, but for now, here’s a piece where I recount a day in the life of my eating disorder, when I was in the thick of it.
Sending love to anyone who relates and I hope you know that every part of you is pure magic.
Link to read and/or listen to my story in the bio @arrowliving
xx Kendall
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Today on the podcast, I am so honored to have on one of the most influential people in my life, energy healer and masseuse, Jessica Shannon. I got introduced to Jessica when I was playing in Utah. A teammate’s friend swore by her. At this point, I didn’t know much about energy work, but I was willing to try anything to heal my concussion and get back to playing soccer.
In my first session, I was mind blown. Jessica was able to tell me things about myself that there’s no way she would have known without having some sort of gift. I was astounded by her skills. This began my fascination with all things energy.
For the past few years, I’ve dove deep into the art of energy. Put simply, everything is made up of atoms which, at their core, are energy. So, it would make sense that focusing specifically on our energy would have profound effects.
I’ve seen several other energy workers over the years, but Jess remains my favorite.
If you’re new to this work, I feel you, I was skeptical at first too. One of the things that draws me to Jess is her to deliver information in a really digestible way.
I’m stoked for you to learn about her and what she does!
In this episode, Jess talks about:
-the chakra system and how it’s integral to our health
-the WILD miracle story about how energy work saved her daughter’s life
-why energy work is powerful for athletes
-her ability to read her clients “life contracts”(part of your purpose. Mine was spot on)
And more!
This one goes deeeep.
Enjoy!
Jess' website
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I recently saw a tweet from a father of an 8 year old daughter who just found out she didn’t make her softball team.
The first thing she said to her dad after she found out the news: “Alright dad grab your glove, it’s time to work even harder.”
This tweet received thousands of retweets.
It rubbed me the wrong way.
Why?
Because working harder nearly destroyed me.
Working harder is wildly celebrated in our society and, as a kid, I wanted more than anything to be celebrated.
Working harder was a coping mechanism for me because I subconsciously didn’t believe I was good enough without it.
I thought working harder was the only way to reach my dreams.
Until, I discovered another way.
If you are working hard, thriving and truly happy, then fist bump to you, keep going!! I support you. This message isn’t for you.
But, if you are someone who has worked your ass off and you haven’t been getting the results you want or you feel like something is missing from this whole hard work=success puzzle, then, I feel you! I think you’ll dig my latest podcast episode “‘why your hard work isn’t paying off”
In the episode I talk about:
Why hard work isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be How to get what you want with less effort Stories of how I attracted things in my life without hustling The question I ask myself all the time to make things much easier for myselfAnd more.
I promise you, there is another way to go after your dreams with way less struggle and much more ease.
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In today’s episode I interview U.S. Army lieutenant, former NFL linebacker, and motivational speaker Caleb Campbell.
I stumbled upon Caleb on instagram and was captivated by his words.
Caleb, a lifelong athlete, writes a lot about vulnerability, shame letting go, and finding where you belong in the world.
Caleb attended the United States Military Academy Preparatory School, and went on to play at West Point.
After an impressive senior season, he was drafted by the Detroit Lions. However, the day he was supposed to sign, a government policy was revoked and he had to report to the military for two years.
He attacked those two years with the attitude “I’m going to get into the best shape of my life”. After his service, Caleb re-joined the Lions. He later signed contracts with the Indianapolis Colts and Kansas City Chiefs.
Although it had been his childhood dream to play in the NFL, he found himself incredibly unhappy. I love that Caleb is vulnerable about his experiences and very openly talks about his shame.
He also coined a term that I’m obsessed with: “holy frustration”-when you know something isn’t working and you need to let go but don’t know what the eff is going to happen next.
How good is that?
In today’s episode Caleb talks about:
dealing with the fear of feeling like you don’t have what it takes to reach your dreams how putting all your significance and worth in your sport can debilitate you obsessing with doing more and being more and why it can be a detrimental, endless battle how he masked his own shame with ambition how one tweet caused him to pack up everything, move to Canada and be a janitor of a church for 3 years and work on figuring out who he is and where he belongs in the world (his “holy frustration”)And more!
Caleb's websiteArrowLiving.com
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In today’s episode, I interview one of the people who helped me out the most during one of the lowest points in my life: my therapist, Diane Ulicsni. When I had my first session with Diane, I had just stepped away from soccer and was in the depths of depression, and a foreign debilitating “stuckness.” Working with her gave me immense insight into why my body felt like it was shutting down. Time and time again, Diane has guided me through processing trauma associated with sports and other areas of my life. I have experienced massive levels of healing because of her.
Diane uses a combination of modalities (EMDR, brain spotting NLP, hypnosis, guided imagery, and EFT) to help athletes work through areas that are making them feel stuck, anxious, and/or confused.
In this episode, Diane talks about:
-where anxiety stems from and how to release it
-why talk therapy doesn’t work for a lot of people
-the emotional component of injuries that often causes people to get re-injured
-how to be the boss of your emotions
-the unconventional way she helped stewardess overcome their fear of flying after 9/11
And more!
Link in bio @arrowliving to listen
Diane's website: https://www.dianeu.com/
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In today’s episode I interview craniosacral, myofascial worker, physical therapist, AKA the healing wizard Christina Goodwill.
Have you ever met someone who when they touch you, you wonder if their hands are dipped in an angel’s tears? Someone who reads into your soul, feels your energy, embraces your existence, and doesn’t judge any part of you.
Meet Christina Goodwill.
Chris combines her deep knowledge of anatomy with her gifted intuitive abilities in such a unique way that always leaves me so grateful to work with her.
In this episode, we talk about:
-why athletes can get the same injury, but some take longer to heal than others
-what kind of athletes are the hardest to treat
-recommendations for athletes to stay healthy
-how she sees colors, images, and past lives when working with patients, and how that helps her communicate with their body
-why gentle touch can be more effective than firm touch like sports massage
-the time I was told I had an ulcer, and I walked away from one session with Chris completely pain free
-her belief that most injuries have an energetic component that needs to be addresses in order to fully heal
And more!
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In today’s episode, I interview meditation teacher and former professional soccer player Sam Lofton.
I first met Sam playing with the Portland Thorns. We bonded over the fact that we were both obsessed with finding (often unconventional) ways to maximize our performance on the field and off.
Sam played soccer and studied Health Science with a pre-med track at James Madison University. After college, she was picked 20th overall in the 2015 NWSL College Draft by the Boston Breakers, making her the first James Madison University player ever to be drafted by a NWSL team.
In 2016, she played for the Portland Thorns. She also played overseas in Sweden for Sunnana SK and in Iceland for Breiðablik UBK.
While playing professionally, Sam discovered meditation and it changed her life.
Through her business “Meditation by Sam” {https://www.meditationbysam.com/sign-up-control-and-create )she teaches athletes how to gain control of their minds and their lives.
In this episode Sam talks about:
-her all-time favorite hacks for improving performance
-how meditation helped her be confident playing against Tobin Heath
-why visualizing is so powerful for athletes specifically
-tips if you are a beginner meditator
-common misconceptions about mindfulness
And, she guides us through a quick meditation! You’ll walk away from this episode feeling the zen.
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In today’s episode, I interview Icelandic national team midfielder Gunny Jonsdottir.
The second oldest of seven siblings, Gunny grew up a very independent person.
In 3rd grade, she moved from Iceland to America and picked up soccer. She quickly found comfort in the sport and has been playing ever since then.
Gunny made her debut for the Icelandic national team in Euro 2013 qualifying. She is a regular member of the Icelandic national team.
Gunny played 2 years with Utah Royals FC, playing every minute of the 2018 NWSL season and scoring Utah’s first goal in club history.
In today’s episode, Gunny talks about:
-how she deals with her anxiety
-the cool story of how she learned to speak english
-why she prefers Iceland to America
-what it was like coming back from 3 ACL tears
-how soccer forces you to be vulnerable
-her passion for helping people who have autism
And more.
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In today’s episode I interview blogger, two-time U.S. National Team rower, and 2019 World Champion in Lightweight Women’s pair, Cara Stawicki.
I was first drawn to Cara after reading her blog [carastawicki.com]. In her posts, Cara opens up about her struggles and provides incredible resources aimed at supporting and inspiring female athletes.
I highly recommend taking a peak at it!
Cara started out as a competitive swimmer; she didn’t start rowing until college at Lehigh University. Her senior year, she was captain of womens’ varsity crew, most valuable female rower, and Lehigh University’s athlete of the year . She also found success in the classroom, earning a BA in Journalism and Political Science and an MA in Political Science.
Years of hard work, discipline, and relentless drive earned her a spot on the U.S National rowing team.
Despite her success, one of her biggest struggles was confidence in her abilities as an athlete and competitor. In 2018, she went through a huge mental shift. She started working with a high performance coach who helped her develop the mental part of her game, and she started learning through others--using things like athlete blogs, podcasts, and books.
In today’s episode Cara talks about:
-The most critical component of being a top athlete
-How writing helps her show up her best in her sport
-Where her incessant desire to learn comes from-including he recommended books and podcasts
-Her process of developing confidence
-How life experience has made her a better athlete at 37 than she was in her 20s.
-“Confidence is a learned skill that you can develop overtime.”
And more!
Resources
Follow Cara on instagram
Follow Arrow Living on instagram
Be the first to know when a new podcast or article drops, and receive other magical content HERE
A list of the 11 books that have had the biggest impact on my life as an athlete HERE
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Do you struggle with sleep? If so, you know it’s kinda like taking off a sweatshirt when you’re sweaty AF and your arm gets stuck in the sleeve and you kinda wanna die, but the harder you try to fix it the worse it gets.
You need sleep not only to maximize performance, but also to be able to function throughout your day. And in my case, to be a tolerable human being to be around.
During the onset of my concussion, I struggled with years of severe insomnia. I tried counting sheep, hippos, penguins, pigeons…all the animals, but it didn’t do squat. I have attempted everything under the sun and the moon to restore my circadian rhythms and finally, I can say I sleep pretty dang consistently (I still have some rough nights, but I’m very pleased with my progress). Sleep is something I will never ever take for granted again.
In this episode, I talk about:
-the hacks that have had the greatest impact on my sleep
-the ONE thing that was a game changer for my shuteye
-my go-to evening routine that gets me feelin’ zen
-what I do when I have nights where I struggle to sleep
-how to function during the day when you aren’t well rested
And more!
I hope some of the methods provide you with a little bit of relief.
Sweeeeet dreams
Resources:Be the first to know when a new podcast or article drops, and receive other magical contentHERE
A list of the 11 books that have had the biggest impact on my life as an athleteHERE
Brain Waves binaural beats app
Earth Pulse PEMF
Spectrum blue light blocking glasses
Mustard Bath
Spoonk acupressure mat
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In today’s episode, I interview mom of two, pro soccer player, World Cup champion, and 2x Olympic gold medalist Amy Rodriguez.
If you’ve ever seen Amy play, she’s a feisty, sneakyyy mom (said in the tone of the kid from that viral Jimmy Kimmel youtube video). She’s got a special fire every time she steps on the pitch.
In highschool, Amy was a top recruit and was named the Gatorade player of the year. Her senior year, she made her first appearance for the US National team.She went on to play at USC, where she played a vital role in helping them win their first NCAA championship.
After college, her career continued to flourish. She won gold medals at the 2008 and 2012 Olympics. The next year she gave birth to her first child, missed the entire year, then made a quick comeback to help the US win the World Cup in 2015.
Since then, Amy has brought another beautiful child into the world, but upon her comeback she tore her ACL. Being the resilient sneaky mom that she is, Amy made a full comeback and now currently plays for and captains the Utah Royals FC. She fulfills all of her team duties, while also being a mom to a 6 and 3 year-old boy. Talk about Superrrr mom!
In today’s episode, Amy talks about:
her crazy, unconventional lifestyle of balancing being a mom and a professional soccer player
how having kids has benefited her both on the field and off
the childhood setback that pushed her to the next level
personal stories from being one of the best players in the US
the mantra that has helped her through the highest pressure moments in her career
the characteristics that she believes allowed her to thrive in her sport
Resources:
And more!Follow Amy on instagram
Follow Arrow Living on instagram
Be the first to know when a new podcast or article drops, and receive other magical content HERE
A list of the 11 books that have had the biggest impact on my life as an athlete HERE
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In today’s episode I interview former Portland Thorns goalkeeper and racial justice activist Emily Kruger.
Emily is someone I really admire because as a pro athlete, she went all in on the social causes that she was passionate about, even if it wasn’t “popular.” I am constantly learning from Emily about how I can be of better service to the world and educate myself about my privilege.
Emily attended UC Berkeley, where she first became really aware of her privilege. From there, she unexpectedly joined the Portland Thorns and continued learning and standing up for social issues.
In today’s episode, Emily talks about:
-the backlash she received from teammates and coaches when she proposed linking arms during the national anthem
-how our unwillingness to be uncomfortable or feel like a “bad” person prevents us from dealing with problems like racism
-how to expand sports to be more inclusive
-how her interactions with police officers was very different than black people in the same city
-advice for someone to take when they’re first unpacking their white privilege
-race being the “great connector” of so many other important issues (LGBTQ, capitalism, climate change)
Resources:
Follow Emily on instagram
Follow Arrow Living on instagram
Be the first to know when a new podcast or article drops, and receive other magical content HERE
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In this episode, we are keeping it rollinnnnnn with part 2 of the interview with deep thinker, incessant learner, former NFL player Elvis Akpla.
Last week, Elvis gave us a look into the neglected parts of American history and how he believes we can end racism.
Today, he tells his fascinating personal story from growing up in poverty to finding a way to be successful and happy.
Elvis has a pretty incredible and challenging background that has helped shape him into the man he is today.
In this episode, Elvis talks about:
-The stark differences in racism between his home town and Africa and the United States
-Why he frequently slept over at 10+ different family friends throughout high school
-The key ingredient that helped him overcome poverty and be successful
-How being an athlete protected him a bit from racism
-The last minute track and field scholarship her earned that eventually led him to the NFL
-The importance of athlete’s using their platform to share their voice
And more.
ResourcesFollow Arrow Living on instagram
Be the first to know when a new podcast or article drops, and receive other magical content HERE
A list of the 11 books that have had the biggest impact on my life as an athlete HERE
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New podcast episode with the deep thinking, passionate, former pro football player Elvis Akpla.
Elvis is one of the most curious, intellectual, constantly-expanding guys I know. Like, we’re talking photographic memory, constantly engaging in thought provoking convos, and will talk your ear off-in the best way- about the stuff that lights him up.
Today he brings that fire to offers his unique perspective on the neglected parts of American history, and how he believes we can end racism and reconcile people who have different opinions than our own.
Elvis was born in Dakar Senegal on the west coast of Africa. At a young age, his single mom and him moved to the United States-the first place he ever experienced racism.
Elvis’ mom made sacrifice on sacrifice on sacrifice to ensure he received a good education. He ended up earning a last minute scholarship for track and field at University of Oregon. Freshman year, he walked on to the football team. He later transferred to Montana State where he became an All-American and graduated with a degree in cellular biology and neuroscience. After college, he had a brief stint with the Philadelphia Eagles, b and is currently earning two masters degree in Special Education and Biomedical Sciences.
Elvis is full of knowledge and is just getting started. Shoutout to his beautiful fiancé Kara who low key to high key is his better half :) .
This interview is split into two parts.
In this episode (Part 1), Elvis talks about:
The, often neglected in school, historical context that has led black people to be so oppressed today How the American constitution was created by slave-owners and was built for English slave-owning settlers Why blaming others for oppression is the worst way to create change The slogan “Make America Great Again,” and poses the question when was America ever great? Why educational opportunities is a key component to ending Black oppressionAnd more!
Resources:Be the first to know when a new podcast or article drops, and receive other magical content HERE
A list of the 11 books that have had the biggest impact on my life as an athlete HERE
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In today’s episode I interview cat lover, sci-fi fantasy aficionado, 2x World Cup champion, Olympic gold medalist, Becky Sauerbrunn.
Y'all, no two ways about it, Becky is a baller. She is one of the most consistent players in the game of soccer. But, one of my favorite things about Becky is how she just straight up does her. She doesn’t change who she is to fit in. She speaks her opinion, about sometimes difficult topics, And she stands up for others. She is one of those leaders who leads by example and treats everyone with respect. I think that’s why she’s admired so much by all of her teammates.
Becky was born in St Louis Missouri. She played basketball and volleyball, but always knew soccer was her number one love.
Becky played at the University of Virginia, then went to the pro level and currently represents the USWNT.
She has played professionally for the Washington Freedom, magicJack, DC United, Utah Royals FC, Roa IL, FC Kansas City, where she won’t two NWSL championships. She is now a Portland Thorn, which is lovely because Portland is the place she calls home.
In the NWSL, she has earned the NWSL best 11 every single year and is a 4x defender of the year.
Becky is a regular call-up for the national team. Like I said, she is a 2x World Cup Champion and an Olympic gold medalist. She captained the team from 2016-2018 and is currently the president of USWNT Players Association. She is huge advocate for equal pay.
And I just want to reiterate she is a freakin’ good human being.
In today’s episode, Becky talks about
-how, as an introvert, she has trained her whole life for this quarantine
-what sets national team players apart from other players (hint: not a lot)
-dealing with having a huge dream, but so much of it being out of your control
-the story of a youth national team coach telling her she had no speed or presence, and how she turned those “weaknesses” into strengths
-why she named her cats Missy Elliott and Olive Oil
-owning her nerdiness
-what it was like when she opened a letter from her idol, Ruth Bader Ginsburg
-her belief in aliens
And more!
Resources
Register for Free Webinar Mustard bath Burrito Folding Technique Follow Becky on instagramFollow Arrow Living on instagram
Be the first to know when a new podcast or article drops, and receive other magical content HERE
A list of the 11 books that have had the biggest impact on my life as an athlete HERE
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