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Alphonse and Emina have become lovers. His desire to please her makes him drop his guard and appear in public places. As a double act they go to local villages, beginning to make money and plans for the future: until the past catches up with them...
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By chance, young dancer Emina meets equally youthful, trumpet-playing soldier Alphonse in a barn in the mountains of war-torn Southern Spain. They are both innocent and experienced in entirely different ways. Initially wary, they tell each other stories that weave fact and fiction. She lies and he believes her. He tells the truth and she mistrusts him. But when he plays and she dances, they understand each other perfectly.
Original Music - David Sutton Anderson
Trumpet - Anthony Aarons
Saxophone - Melanie HenrySend us a text
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After the dramatic series of arrivals and events at the Knap on marriage engagement night in Part 1, the triangle of relationships between Sally Hall, her ex sister-in-law Helena, and Farmer Charles Darton becomes tangled still further by marriage, death, and more courtship interloping.
The path to an eventual denouement highlights the problematic position of women in 19th Century Victorian society, reflecting protofeminist themes that are present in many of Hardy’s major works.
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On a dark night, Farmer Charles Darton and his friend Japheth Johns are riding on their way to The Knap to meet Sally Hall, Charles' bride-to-be. Losing their way is the prelude to a series of unexpected arrivals and events that potentially changes lives forever.
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Having ended Part 1 with his business plan "in the air", Jimmy 'Skiver' McIver at last gets the backing and support of his old school friend and businessman Roger Soul and Denise, Roger's glamorous PA. They launch the dry cleaning business with a fanfare.
Sadly, the venture has attracted renewed attention from loan shark Mo Greensmith, who has hatched a dastardly plan of deceit and revenge-by-extortion on Roger Soul - with Jimmy as "piggy in the middle"! As events quickly turn disastrous, and caught between a big rock and a very hard place, 'Skiver' lives up to his name and flees.
But will it be enough to save his skin?
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Jimmy ‘Skiver’ McIver is back! Last heard from in “Ashes to Ashford”* sunning himself on a Caribbean beach, “Crudely, Badly, Cheaply” takes us back 15 years to less lucky times for our feckless Cockney wheeler-dealer.
In Part 1 of the prequel, Jimmy bumps into old school mate and businessman, the decidedly-successful Roger Soul and pitches a money-making idea for a dry cleaning business to him. But with no stake of his own to put in, Jimmy embarks on a risky road that attracts the possibly dangerous attention of Maureen ‘Mo’ Greensmith, the “formidable” local loan shark.
With only the support of Fred and Lemmy at the Dog and Duck pub, what could possibly go wrong for ‘Skiver’ this time?
*(Parts 1 and 2 of “Ashes to Ashford” are available on this podcast)Send us a text
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On a dark, stormy Victorian night atop a Wessex hill, Shepherd and Mrs Fennel are holding a christening party at their cottage for a second-born child. Proceedings are interrupted by the consecutive arrival of three strangers to shelter from the elements. One of these men is not who he seems – but which one is it?
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There 's nothing like a good biblical story...and this is NOTHING like a good biblical story!
Mary Poppins jokes aside, this is a short story relating how Pharoah Contraraoh fared whilst trying to Make Egypt Great Again (MEGA). It contains one or two ripe parallels for our 21st century world - delivered with humour.Send us a text
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Talking humanity creeps into the chance encounter at the Women's Institute between uptight Lydia and the educated but impoverished itinerant Colin. Then external reality arrives: the WI guest speaker cannot make it. Shakespeare's words provide the platform for a replacement speaker and hope to emerge, before tragedy strikes.
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Taking shelter from the rain in a village hall somewhere in England, an educated, homeless man is confronted by Lydia, a "formidable" member of the local Women's Institute. Under threat of expulsion, he engages with the lady as she tries to organise the evening's meeting events. Mutual personal revelations follow. But will he be allowed to stay?
Episode 1 of 2Send us a text
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In this final part of the series, called "His Wonderful End", our waitering hero Mr Christopher returns - and he is a worried man. He has successfully sold the stories discovered in Somebody's luggage to a publisher. Now he waits in fear lest the author should show up and claim them as his rightful own. A new guest does arrive; the fateful Room 24B is mentioned; the tension mounts. Is he Somebody? Will Mr Christopher's livelihood and reputation survive if it is him? Dickens keeps him and us hanging on almost to the very enjoyable end.
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In the second and final part of "The Tale of the Obliging Mr Blorage" (discovered in His Hatbox), Dick Blorage is still not on board with the revelatory properties of Lady Verita's magical Chair of Truth. There is a harsh lesson to be learned from her, before Dick grows a pair, deals with those who exploit his niceness, and finds his true partner for life.
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"The Tale of the Obliging Mr Blorage" is the amusing contribution of female Victorian writer Julia Cecilia Stretton to Dickens' "Somebody's Luggage" short story compendium.
In two parts, Part 1 (discovered in His Portmanteau) introduces the listener to Mr Richard Blorage - probably the nicest man ever to succeed in business: a quality which, sadly, does not translate into a happy love life. Desperate - and a bit tipsy - he invokes the spirit world for help, and gets more than he bargained for...
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"The Story of the Fine Artist" (discovered in His Brown Paper Parcel)
Thomas is not just an artist, but a Fine Artist in Victorian London. He is a riddler. He is highly strung. He has a friend who is quickly lost. He acquires a girlfriend who decides to leave him. Both object to his attitude to the work of other artists. Why? What is the truth about Thomas, the Fine Artist?
Episode 4 of 7Send us a text
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This is the third of our short-story adaptations from Charles Dickens' "The Pickwick Papers" and his first Yuletide supernatural tale. It tells of Gabriel Grub, a morose, lonely and drunken gravedigger who hates people, particularly during the festive season.
One Christmas Eve, while at work in the graveyard, he encounters a startlingly scary Goblin Queen (and her many subjects), who terrorises and whisks him away to her underworld lair where Grub is shown the true human values of the season.
Dickens was to return triumphantly to this theme seven years later with "A Christmas Carol".
Remastered version.Send us a text
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Having seen off the first ghost, Scrooge's education in the current lives of others during the festive season proceeds to the houses of the Cratchit family and his nephew, courtesy of a jolly Ghost of Christmas Present.
With a grim parting from him, the final, mysterious spectre appears to show Scrooge a series of visions for life after death, in which his focus on money and gain "leave not a wrack behind".
Now fully chastened, the miser's spirit breaks - into something much more human.
Episode 2 of 2.
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Charles Dickens' classic Yuletide tale is presented in a two-part adaptation that gives you more of the story, focusing particularly on the corrosive effects of early Victorian capitalism.
In Part 1, we see Scrooge in all his business and money-focused selfishness - until Jacob Marley and the Ghost of Christmas Past show up, confronting him with long-forgotten events that end with violent consequences.
Episode 1 of 2.
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"The Story of the Iceberg Shipwreck" (discovered in His Dressing Case) is an exciting and ironic tale of disaster and derring-do on the high seas. Its narrator Monkhouse tells of the sinking of the good ship Golden Dream around Cape Horn after colliding with a massive iceberg. Cast onto the iceberg, Monkhouse discovers a group of other passengers as they battle to survive, led by quirky Able Seaman Tom White. How they interact and finally reach land makes for an entertaining exploration of Victorian class issues.
The tale was written by Arthur Locker (1828-1893), an English novelist and journalist. His other fictional works include Sweet Seventeen (1866), Stephen Scudamore the Younger (1871) and notable translations of the works of Victor Hugo.
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Discovered by head waiter Mr Christopher in His Boots, “The Story of Mr The Englishman Abroad” tells of Langley, a buttoned-up, hypercritical Englishman living alone in a French town. Estranged from his daughter in England, he takes a journey of self-discovery and reconciliation as he learns what it means to be French.
Episode 2 of 7Send us a text
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Mister Christopher is a Victorian waiter who has many OPINIONS - on what is (and is not) a waiter, good and bad waitering, customers and their foibles, coffee houses, and much more. In this first part of the Somebody's Luggage series, he acquires a set of luggage left behind by an unknown guest ("Somebody") six years previously: in this is secreted a set of stories written by him.
Somebody's Luggage is the creation of Charles Dickens in collaboration with several other writers of the period. These short stories were all published as part of the 1862 Christmas edition of Dickens' weekly publication "All The Year Round". Ours is a collection of selected tales from Somebody's writings that are all different and distinctive: an entertaining portmanteau of styles and subject matter. To round off this portmanteau, Mister Christopher (and the eponymous Somebody) will finally meet.
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