Episodes

  • A sleep crisis is not only tough and tiring for everyone, it can also have a huge impact on our mental health.

     

     

    Join me and Dr Fiona Jeffries in this episode and we’ll talk you through:

     

    What is parental mental health?

     

    The relationship between sleep and mental health

     

    Looking after your needs whilst responding to your baby’s sleep needs

     

    Why self-care is important and is much more than taking a solo shower or trip to the toilet?

     

    How to cope in a sleep crisis?

     

    We really hope you enjoy listening to this episode as much as we did recording it!

     

    Dr Fiona Jeffries is an experienced Clinical Psychologist with over 10 years' experience of working with children and families in a variety of settings. She’s passionate about her work and feels very lucky to have a career which she enjoys so much.

     

    Since qualifying in 2012, she’s specialised in working with children and families. Much of her work has been with families who are dealing with the challenges of medical illness or disability.

     

    She works using a variety of therapeutic models, including systemic, narrative and compassion-focussed approaches. She tailors her approach to each individual child and family and has a special interest in infant psychology. She’s very recently established ‘Baby Psychology Basics’, antenatal and postnatal workshops for parents and professionals.

     

    Do you want to find out about Fiona?

    www.drfionajeffries.co.uk/baby-psychology-basics

     

    www.instagram.com/baby_psychology_basics

     

    Free workshops coming up:

     

    Wednesday 20th October 2021 12-1.30pm Prenatal Baby Psychology Basics: Understanding Your Baby

     

    Wednesday 24th November 2021 12.30-2pm Postnatal Baby Psychology Basics: Understanding Your Baby

     

    Please see website for more information and how to book

     

    Listener offer:

    20% off a 1:1 Baby Psychology Basics session for listeners (contact Fiona directly to book and mention you listened to the podcast)

     

     

    Mindfulness and relaxation resources:

     

     

    https://self-compassion.org

     

    https://buddhify.com/

     

    https://www.calm.com/

     

    If you need some further support:

     

    www.home-start.org.uk

     

    www.mind.org.uk

     

    www.pandasfoundation.org.uk

     

  • Bed-sharing isn’t going to work for every family.

    Bed-sharing isn’t for every family

    And it might not be the best sleep set up for you.

    This podcast isn’t about convincing or pushing you to bed-share!

    But there’s often a lot of sleep shame and stigma around bed-sharing so this podcast is for you if you’re:

     currently bed-sharing and would love some reassurance

     considering bed-sharing and would love some reassurance

     looking for safer sleep pointers whilst bed-sharing

     Join me and Tiffany Belanger in this episode and we’ll talk you through:

     -What is bed-sharing?

     -Who is bed-sharing for?

     -Why bed-sharing isn’t a bad bed habit

     -What are the benefits of bed-sharing for both babies and parents?

     -How can you make bed-sharing safer?

     -Tiffany’s personal experience of bed-sharing

     I hope you enjoy listening to this episode as much as we did recording it!

    Tiffany Belanger spends her days wrangling two little boys, works on the Cosleepy blog for a few hours in the evening, and at night. And she sleeps soundly on a giant bed between her favourite people in the world!

    Tiffany created Cosleepy to offer modern parents practical, scientifically-backed advice on how to safely co-sleep with their baby. It’s a hub for like-minded folks to find each other and a safe space for them to dive deep into the beauty, challenges, and intricacies of co-sleeping.

    Tiffany works to empower every parent to trust the science and follow their intuition when it comes to keeping their baby safe and close at night. To find a way to love co-sleeping, and to do it with confidence.

    Sign up for Tiffany’s mailing list at cosleepy.com for co-sleeping support, encouragement, and motivation straight to your inbox. You’ll have access to her favourite resources, giveaways, and personal updates on her family’s co-sleeping journey that she doesn’t share anywhere else.

    You can find more information about Tiffany and Cosleepy here:

     cosleepy.com

    instagram.com/cosleepy

    https://cosleepy.com/welcome

    Recommended reading for safer sleep whilst bed-sharing:

     llli.org/the-safe-sleep-seven

     kellymom.com/parenting/nighttime/cosleeping

     cosleeping.nd.edu/safe-co-sleeping-guidelines

  • Missing episodes?

    Click here to refresh the feed.

  • Floor beds aren’t going to work for every family.

    And they might not be the best bed for you.

    But sometimes I do suggest using (or just considering!) a floor bed, because there are lots of benefits, for both you and your Small!

    Join me and Sian Aldis in this podcast episode, and we’ll talk you through: 

    What is a floor bed?

    Who are floor beds for?

    What age can you use a floor bed from?

     What are the benefits of using a floor bed?

    How can we make it a safer sleep space?

    I hope you enjoy listening to this episode as much as we did recording it!  

    Sian Aldis is an IBCLC and gentle sleep consultant. You can find more information about Sian and No Milk Like Mamas Here:

    Website: nomilklikemamas.co.uk

    Email: support@nomilklikemamas.co.uk

    Recommended reading for safer sleep whilst bed-sharing: 

    www.llli.org/the-safe-sleep-seven

  • If you worry (a little or a lot!) you most certainly aren’t alone and I hope it reassures you to hear that it’s normal. Telling a parent not to worry is neither helpful or healthy. Worrying is a part of life for most of us at some point and what we try to resist just persists.

    I will always listen to you and hold space for your worries to validate them. But I’m also here to reassure you too!

    Tune into this episode to hear Kimberly Thomas AKA The New Mum Coach and myself discuss:

    The worry Hour

    Mindfulness

    Self-Compassion and care

    4 top tips to help you when you worry

    When does worrying become a problem

    And so much more!

    You can find out more about Kimberly here:

    thenewmumcoach.com

    instagram.com/thenewmumcoach

    Second time parents -

    tickettailor.com/events/thenewmumcoach/503983/

    Back to work -

    tickettailor.com/events/thenewmumcoach/500940/

    instagram.com/thenewmumcoach

    Further resources:

    Headspace

     headspace.com

     Calm

     calm.com

     Peanut

    peanut-app.io

    Panic pad

    etsy.com/uk/listing/821942030/panic-pad-a4?ref=shop_home_active_4&crt=1

  • Myles has just turned 2 years old and is a little firecracker who has FOMO (fear of missing out) when it comes to sleep!

    He’s really resisting going to sleep at bedtime and wakes frequently during the night. And often won’t settle until he’s in Mum’s bed which isn’t working for anyone now.

    This is understandably causing everyone a sleepless night!

    I’m never going to stop sharing the message that toddler’s find sleep tricky too.

    And I want to reassure you that your toddler isn’t broken and you aren’t doing anything wrong if your toddler:

    Isn’t sleeping through the night

     Is resisting going to sleep at bedtime

     Needs you or support to fall asleep

     Wakes up during the night  

     Won’t settle at night unless co-sleeping

    However, if their sleep or wake ups are unsustainable or simply not working for you chances are there’s some small and caring changes that could make a big difference.

     Join me and Myles’s Mum, Beckey for this live consultation podcast and together we’ll talk you through:

    Normal infant sleep at 2 years old

     The best bedtime for your toddler

     What do to if their bedtime is super late

     The 7 pm pressure

     Supporting them to settle to sleep independently

     Moving away from co-sleeping if they wake at night

     Myles’s sleep story at 2 years old

     Myles’s sleep suggestions to support him to a more settled night sleep. The caring way.

    Beckey and I had a great talk together and I really hope you find this episode useful and reassuring too!

    Further resources:

     Biological best blog

     careitout.com/blog/baby-biological-best

    Bedtime boundaries Ecourse

     careitout.com/courses/bedtime-boundaries-ecourse

    Want to work together to improve your sleep the caring way?

    You can find my current sleep services here:

    careitout.com/sleep-service-prices

  • Baby Remi is 12 months old and going through big changes with his sleep. 

    He slept through from around 7 months old until he recently started nursery and his sleep changed. 

    He’s now finding it hard to settle to sleep at bedtime and frequently has a split night AKA parent party. This is understandably causing everyone a sleepless night!

    I’m never going to stop sharing the message that infant sleep isn’t a straight line process because it’s a constant work in progress!

    So I want to reassure you that your baby isn’t broken and you aren’t doing anything wrong if your baby’s:

    Sleep changes or hits the skids suddenly

    Finding it harder to settle to sleep or needs more support to fall asleep

    Having a parent party at night!

    However, if their sleep or wake ups are unsustainable or simply not working for you chances are there’s some small and caring changes that could make a big difference. 

    Join me and Remi’s Mum, Amy for this live consultation podcast and together we’ll talk you through:

    Normal infant sleep at 12 months old

    Napping at nursery 

    Different routine in different places

    How an early bedtime can impact night sleep

    Supporting them to settle to sleep independently 

    Split nights AKA parent party

    Remi’s sleep story at 12 months old

    Remi’s sleep suggestions to support him to a more settled night sleep. The caring way. 

    Amy and I had a great talk together and I really hope you find this episode useful and reassuring too!

    Further resources:

    Parent party episode

    www.careitout.com/podcast/ep-13-the-parent-party

    Biological best blog

    www.careitout.com/blog/baby-biological-best

    Bedtime boundaries Ecourse

    www.careitout.com/courses/bedtime-boundaries-ecourse

    Want to work together to improve your sleep? You can find my current sleep services here:

    www.careitout.com/sleep-service-prices

  • Baby Lucas is 6.5 months old and waking very frequently at night. He’s waking up and needing help to get back to sleep every 2 hours at the moment which understandably is causing everyone a sleepless night!

    I’m never going to stop sharing the message that it’s totally normal, your baby isn’t broken and you aren’t doing anything wrong if your baby is:

    taking short naps at 6 months old

    waking for a night feed (s) at 6 months old

    not sleeping through the night at 6 months old

    However, if their wake-ups are super frequent, unsustainable or simply not working for you, chances are there are some small and caring changes that could make a big difference.

    Join me and Lucas’s Mum Emma for this consultation episode and we’ll talk through together:

    Normal infant sleep at 6 months old

    The six-month-old sleep switch

    And the pressure to get sleep sorted by 6 months old

    Baby eczema

    Lucas’s sleep story at 6 months

    Lucas’s sleep suggestions to support him to a more settled night sleep  

    Emma and I had a great chat and I really hope you find it useful and reassuring too!

    Links/further resources:

    Dermatologist for paediatric eczema: skin55.co.uk/dr-rachael-morris-jones

    Bedtime boundaries Ecourse: careitout.com/courses/bedtime-boundaries-ecourse

  • Mona is a postnatal doula based in East London with two children aged four and two.

    She is passionate about supporting and empowering parents during their fourth trimester period.

    Planning for your new baby

    Once parents find out that they are expecting, things like booking antenatal classes; reading parenting books; hypnobirthing courses; buying clothes and baby equipment; choosing colours for the nursery, are what parents usually consider.

    My advice would be to plan for the postnatal period too, consider that you may need to hire a postnatal doula, lactation consultant, and/or a sleep consultant.

    Support in the first few weeks

    Support is essential in the first few weeks, whether you’re a first-time parent or second-time parent. Having an extra pair of hands to give you some down time and catch up on much-needed rest is invaluable. New-born babies are demanding, needing constant feeding, changing, and holding. If you are fortunate to have support from relatives, my advice would be to take it! But if not, having a postnatal doula is a great alternative. Parents are most likely to be sleep-deprived, the mother may find that she is doing the main bulk of night feeds, especially if she is breastfeeding. Having support means rest, having meals cooked, and chores seen to. 

    Health visitors and midwives are there to check that mother and baby are doing well after birth. I will stress that it is important to get in touch with the midwife or health visitor if you have concerns about yourself or baby. 

     

    Advice for new parents:

    •        Make sure you have a support network

    •        Try to get support lined up before baby arrives

    •        Look after yourself. It's hard enough looking after a new baby, even harder if you’re not looked after yourself.

    •        Let some things go

    •        Accept help – let family, friends bring you food

    •        Find time to relax

    •        Have fun with your baby

    •        Remember that nobody is perfect

    We can offer support by listening to parents and giving guidance accordingly, and by being non-judgmental.

    New Baby Resources.

    There are so many useful resources that parents can turn to if needed if mother/birthing person may struggle with breastfeeding:

    www.milkmakingmama.co.uk

    www.laleche.org.uk

    www.henry.org.uk

    What I do and how a Postnatal doula works 

    I support families in the fourth trimester, emotional support is the very foundation of what doulas provide. I offer practical and informational support, a listening ear for parents to air their concerns. I offer hands-on support, taking on the role of mothering the mother by preparing meals, offering snacks, and making sure the mother is well hydrated. I support mothers with breast and bottle feeding, where feeding may not be going well, I will signpost if necessary, to lactations consultants or breastfeeding counsellors. Some mothers may require a hands-on approach in the home to support older siblings, while they get to know their baby. I offer to help with light housework, such as loading the dishwasher and doing laundry.  Some mothers may just want to catch up on sleep and rest, this is where I would look after the baby/babies by taking care of their needs.

    Postnatal doulas can be found on doula directories or usually word of mouth from friends. Once parents have decided to hire a postnatal doula, a postnatal planning session is set up. This is where the doula visits the family for the first time and the conversation may include things like getting to know the family, understanding the mother’s needs, talking about nutrition, recovery, and the sort of help that is required.

    Why hire a Postnatal doula?

    •        Extra pair of hands

    •        A listening ear

    •        Non-judgemental guidance

    •        An extra shoulder to cry on

    •       Help with Sleep deprivation

    •        Nurturing and holding parents as they navigate the transitional experience of parenthood

    •        Catching up on sleep and rest

    •        Support with feeding

    •        Taking the load off (chores and cooking)

    •        Having tools and access to signposting 

    Find out more about Mona and her services here: 

    Instagram: @helpinghands.doula

    helpinghandsdoula.co.uk

  • Lucy Neary AKA The Early Years Dietitian is a registered dietitian specialising in early years nutrition.

    She’s on a mission to eliminate outdated and widespread feeding myths and turn the next generation into enthusiastic eaters with a healthy relationship to food.

    I really love Lucy’s approach to infant feeding and nutrition and I really hope you do too!

    Tune into this episode and together, we’ll talk you through: 

    Is focusing on food the key to a settled night's sleep?

    How important is the relationship between food and sleep?

    When to worry about how much they’re eating

    Do dream feeds really help them to sleep better and for longer?

    Do formula-fed babies sleep better? ( spoiler.. they don’t!)

    When do night feeds need to stop?

    Night weaning

    Why dropping night feeds isn’t linear

    What’s the best time for dinner

    Are there any foods to avoid at dinner time?

    And so much more!  

    You can find out more about Lucy here:

    Instagram: @theearlyyearsdietitian

    Website: theearlyyearsdietitian.co.uk

  • Like most things on my approach, how teething impacts your baby will depend on your baby.

    For some babies, you wouldn’t even know they are teething until you see their tooth pop through. And for others, teething can give them (and you!) a really hard time.

    It’s normal for teething to impact their eating and behaviour, and especially their sleep. It’s also natural for you to worry about it and think you’ll never sleep again!

    However, teething is only temporary and there IS light at the end of your teething tunnel even when it doesn’t feel it!

    Tune into this week’s episode and I’ll share my 4 top teething tips for you.

  • Your Small’s bedtime boundary is simply how they fall asleep at naps or bedtime.

    You might have heard these called sleep props, crutches or negative sleep associations.

    This drives me a bit bonkers!

    YOU are never a negative association.

    And there’s nothing negative about your Small needing you to fall asleep. 

    There’s no right or wrong on my approach. I’m simply about finding what works for you and doing that.

    No negative sleep associations

    And no bad bed habits!

    I’ll always reassure you that if:

    Feeding

    Rocking

    Cuddling/holding 

    to sleep is working for you, your Small, and their sleep, then you don’t need to change anything. Unless you want to!

    However, if you do want to change their bedtime boundary, it’s likely that changes can be made - with care.

    But making bedtime boundaries changes, even with care, is a biggie for both you and your Small!

    In this episode, I share 6 sleep suggestions that could help you make big bedtime boundary changes. The caring way.

    Plus I’ll answer the questions you’ve asked:

    What can I do if they keep standing and cot cruising but get overtired and teary?

    What can I do if they wake when transferred and cry?

    What can I do if they get upset the moment they get into their cot?

    What age is too late to change their bedtime boundary?

    Do you need more support changing your bedtime boundary?

    I step down these big changes into smaller, more manageable steps in my bedtime boundary E-Course:

    https://www.careitout.com/courses/bedtime-boundaries-ecourse

  • It’s totally normal for your Small’s nap time and length to shift around.

    There are a few reasons why this happens, but the most common reason naps change is that their sleep needs are constantly changing.

    Whilst short or skipped naps are all part of life logistics with your Small, they can be tiring and frustrating, and can cause you worry or nap anxiety for sure.

    However, they’re very unlikely to break the bed bank, and there’s lots we can do to help!

    Join me for this episode and I’ll talk you through my sleep suggestions for when:

    they skip a nap

    they take a short nap

    Plus I’ll answer the questions you have asked:

    For how long should you try to resettle them if they wake early?

    What shall I do if they fall asleep super late in the afternoon?

    What shall I do if they wake early from their lunchtime nap?

    If they wake up super early for the day, how do you keep your day on track?

    What are your suggestions for dealing with the anxiety/spiraling thoughts?

     

    Further resources:

    My Short nap Podcast Episode: careitout.com/podcast/ep-6

  • Anjli is a qualified dentist who’s worked for over 10 years at her practice in Leicester. She is a first-time mum to her daughter Isla who is 17 months old. Having used Instagram for lots of help and advice in the first few months of parenthood, she set up The Dental Mum to be able to share advice and tips to other parents, in a field she was familiar with! In her general practice, she treats a wide variety of patients, adults, and children, and has further training in the field of orthodontics (braces), Invisalign and non-surgical facial aesthetic treatments.

    Join us for this episode and we’ll discuss:

    When to start cleaning their teeth?

    When is the best time to clean their teeth during their bedtime routine?

     Is feeding to sleep on the breast or bottle really bad for their teeth?

    Is feeding them back to sleep at night really bad for their teeth?

    When is the best time to stop using a dummy?

    When is the best time to stop using the bottle?

    Find Anjli over at Instagram: @thedentalmum

  • Rachel Akehurst from Lionheart hypnobirthing shares her experience of toddler bedtime resistance and shares her tools to help keep you both calm.

    If your toddler is resisting their bedtime routine and/or going to bed, you most certainly aren’t alone. Even if it feels like you’re the only one battling away at bedtime you’re not! I see so many parents in my practice who have experienced this and Rachel is also one of them. 

    However, whilst you might not be alone, it can be a very tiring and frustrating experience for both you and your toddler. There’s a lot of pressure to get them to bed at a certain time and to keep them calm whilst doing so.

    But bedtime battles and resistance is very normal and most toddlers are likely to experience it at some point!

     In this episode Rachel very openly and candidly shares her experience of Sam, her son, who went through some huge bedtime resistance. She also kindly shares some tools that helped to calm their experience down. I really hope you find this episode reassuring and useful.

    Find out more about Rachel here: 

    Instagram: @lionheart_hypnobirthing

    Website:  lionhearthypnobirthing.com

    Parenting courses:  lionhearthypnobirthing.com/parenthood 

  • We’re at the start of another 4 weeks of lockdown life in the UK. We’re all sailing in the same Covid-19 storm but we’re in different ships.

    Lockdown life will very much look and feel different to all of us.

    Some of us may be looking forward to lockdown life and some of us might be absolutely dreading it. I’m somewhere in the middle for sure!

    However, there’s no right or wrong way to feel about it. And there isn’t a right or wrong way that lockdown life should look for you. 

    This podcast isn’t me telling you how you should feel or what you should be doing during lockdown. My intention is not to add stress to an already stressful time. But in this episode, I offer you plenty of reassurance and some sleep suggestions that could help you, your Small and their sleep during these strange and difficult times.

  • Mel is a mum of 2 based in East London (Tower Hamlets) and former research scientist turned babywearing consultant after she was pushed out of her job.

    She found a true calling in supporting new parents on their parenting journey and share her passion of babywearing. Alongside the sling library, she co-runs the Tower Hamlets Family Meet-up which is a parent support group where parents meet local perinatal and early years professionals who come to support them. She’s also a breast-feeding mother supporter and very much into gentle parenting, continuously training to support parents better.

    The sling library is an inclusive, friendly and welcoming space for parents to come and get the support they need.

    To connect with Mel:

    wrapahug.com
    07916 349 685
    Instagram
    Facebook
    YouTube

  • Transitioning your toddler from their cot to their toddler bed is a big transition for both you, and your toddler.

    It’s totally natural and normal for you to worry about how they (and you!) will cope with this new change. You may also worry if they are going to stay in their bed and actually sleep! But most toddlers adapt well with this transition if we give them a bit of time. It’s more likely that you’ll worry about this change far more than them.

    However, like most things on my approach, there’s always some sleep suggestions that could help your toddler bed transition go that little bit smoother for you both. And in this episode, I share four of my sleep suggestions that could help you and your toddler have a smoother toddler bed transition.

  • If you’re experiencing early rising, 100% you’re not alone. I recorded this podcast episode due to popular demand!

    Moving forwards from early rising can be a tricky business for 2 reasons:

    We don’t have biology on our side at that time of the morning

    Some Smalls are naturally early risers. Despite you pulling out all the sleep stops!

    However, like most things on my approach, there’s usually some sleep suggestion that could help. Tune into this week’s episode and I’ll share:

    What is classed as an early wake?

    Why early wakes can be slightly tricky to move forward from

    Which key areas to look to help you all move forward

    I’m looking forward to sharing 5 key areas I look at that help ease your early rise in this episode and fingers crossed they help you start your day at a more civilised time!

    Resources:

    Gro Anywhere blackout blind.

    Bedtime boundary course.

  • Separation anxiety, especially around sleep, is completely normal and natural. But it can be a very frustrating and tiring time for both you and your Small. It can happen at any time; I don’t believe that it happens at a set age or stage.

    The most common causes for some separation anxiety is when they’re about to go through a huge learning leap or learn a new skill and a change in their childcare circumstances.

    Whilst it’s a frustrating stage for sure, separation anxiety doesn’t need fixing, and you certainly don't need to force them to be less clingy. However, there are some things you can put in place to help ease the anxiety for everyone!

    Tune into this episode where I’ll share 8 caring suggestions that could help ease you and your Small’s separation anxiety.

  • Have you ever thought about what a sleep consultation with me looks like?

    Would you like to know what we can cover in a Care It Out sleep consultation?

    Do you think it would be useful to listen to another parent’s sleep consultation?

    Abi won an hour’s consultation with me and was happy for us to record our conversation and share it on The Sleep Show for you.

    Abi’s daughter is 15 months old and is waking frequently at night. And often for long periods of time. If you would like to know what sleep suggestions I made for them both tune into this episode. Abi told me she got a lot out of our time together and found it really useful. And we both hope you do too!

    Resources referenced:

    https://www.careitout.com/courses/bedtime-boundaries-ecourse