Episodes
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In this episoe we cover the most common symptom of an unhealthy relationship - codependency.
Many people assume that this is the way we SHOULD do it. It can be subtle, it can creep in and overtake our relationship. In fact, many relationships start out healthy and become more and more codependent as time goes on. When they do, we don't know how to get out of them.
In this episode we discuss what it is, what behaviors reveal codependency, WHY we are codependent, and how to do it differently next time.
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Are you struggling to move forward after your divorce? Whether you’re drowning in therapy bills or searching for a new start, this episode is a beacon of hope. Join us as we dive into the pivotal discussion of therapy versus coaching in the journey of post-divorce recovery.
Today, we explore the nuances between these two pathways with insights from both professionals and those who’ve walked this path. We'll uncover the types of therapy that genuinely work, what to look for in a therapist, and when it might be time to switch to a coach. Inspired by a profound discussion with a recent graduate of our 10-week program—a therapist herself—we delve into effective therapies like Internal Family Systems and the transformative power of group coaching.
From tackling the shadows of deep emotional wounds to embracing transformation through strategic coaching, we’ll guide you on how to choose the best approach for your unique situation. This isn’t just about recovery; it’s about rebuilding a life you love.
Tune in to discover why sometimes, the right voice at the right time can turn the tide of your entire post-divorce journey. Don't miss this in-depth exploration that could redefine the path to your healing and growth.
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Missing episodes?
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In this episode of our deeply engaging podcast, we delve into the heart of post-divorce healing, addressing the profound yet often "Unanswerable Questions" that haunt those navigating the turbulent waters of separation. With an empathetic and expert touch, we explore the common queries that persist in the minds of those seeking closure and understanding - questions about personal responsibility, the actions of others, and the myriad possibilities of 'what could have been.' Yet, as our host skillfully reveals, the true journey lies not in the quest for answers, but in understanding the deeper currents of emotion and thought patterns that drive these questions.
From denial to fear, grief to loneliness, and self-limiting beliefs to low self-esteem, we uncover the complex emotional landscape that can trap individuals in a cycle of rumination and pain. Through insightful analysis and compassionate advice, we illuminate the path to recognizing and overcoming the underlying issues that prevent healing, emphasizing the transformative power of acceptance, self-care, and personal growth.
Moreover, the episode shines a light on the unparalleled support and solidarity found within divorce recovery groups, illustrating how communal healing can provide clarity, foster resilience, and nurture new beginnings. Whether you're grappling with the sting of anger, the shadow of loneliness, or the weight of self-doubt, this episode offers a beacon of hope and a roadmap to recovery.
Join us for a journey of self-discovery, healing, and empowerment, as we navigate the "Unanswerable Questions" together, finding strength in shared experiences and the courage to move forward. This isn't just a podcast; it's a lifeline for those seeking to reclaim their lives after divorce. Tune in, and let's embark on this healing journey together.
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Divorce IS conflict. It is based on fundamental disagreements and disconnection.
In this episode, Kevin talks about the 6 levels of a disagreement and how to repair it.
He also discusses the difference between being reactive and being responsive.
Finally he shares one way to actually repair a wound in the relationship.
The ramifications of being able to better communicate and come to an agreement can translate into THOUSANDS of dollars.
Learning to rise above our immediate instincts gives us power to better navigate potential conflict.
Listen to this episode to learn more how to navigate conflict gracefully.
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There are a LOT of Divorce Support Groups out there. It is where a lot of people go when they are feeling isolated and struggling to process what is happening to them.
I know. I run one. And yet I see that Divorce Support Groups are NOT what people really need, usually.
In this episode I explain the characteristics of a Support Group and why you should avoid them. Or if you do want one, then set your expectations of what it really will be like.
The problem for most people is that they join a support group and it doesn't really give them what they really need and they give up. They assume that this is just the way it is.
I don't want that for you. I want you to get the right KIND of support.
If after listening to this episode you want to join our Support Group for 3 months for free you can do that here:
https://go2.rebuilders.net/sg-information
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The Power Within: Unleashing Your Mindset Superhero
This is one of THE most important concepts that we teach. When people really get it and integrate it into their lives they are never the same. They walk among the wise. They see themselves and others differently. They are responsive and not reactive. Acceptance of themsleves and others is a part of their daily lives. There is peace within.
I kid you not.
I know because I lived my life like Henry David Thoroeau said, "Living a life of quiet desperation". Now, I can "be". I see Victim Consciousness everywhere (see the last episode). And I have an alternative.
This is what I share in this episode.
I hope you like it. I have literally spent the last 5 years integrating it into my life. When people go through our 10-week classes they see how this works and begin to also incorporate it into their lives. This is why we see such massive results. It's just one of the magical things we do in our courses.
Love ya! Talk to you soon! (When you take the self test and book a call with me) :)
Kevin
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This episode is from a video that was created for a presentation. You can see the visuals at our Rebuilders site at https://go2.rebuilders.net/drama-triangle-part-1
In this episode Kevin explores Relationship Dynamics, the Karpman Triangle (the Drama Triangle) and how this leads to Victim Consciousness. Understanding what it is often allows people to see how their underlying beliefs have created a lifetime of dissatisfaction.
People in our classes often begin to see over the 10-weeks how this plays out in their relationships, their lives, and how important it is to learn the alternative consciousness.
It also reveals WHY their Ex is behaving they way they are. THEY are in Victim Consciousness too!
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In this episode, we shift gears a little - we hear from Kathy a person that tried a lot of different things to recover from her divorce. She shares some things that worked and some things that didn't. Since then she has become a certified Facilitator for the Fisher Rebuilding Seminar™ in Cincinnati Ohio.
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In this episode Kevin talks specifically about the "The Release" - the point in time in which someone is able to "Let Go". It happens for people in different ways based on different actions they take. It is a powerful transition and for many people the goal.
After "The Release" your second life begins. Rebuilders.net
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In this episode, you get an inside peek of a class in which Nick is coaching some people in a special class we did on Rumination.
Nick is helping people to understand regret.
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This episode is in part based on a live class that Kevin delivered talking about anger. A number of topics are covered:
2 kinds of "models" for anger. The 5 ways we express anger Anger of the past and of the present Why we are angry How to express it -
If you are dealing with a divorce, currently or in the past, there is a way to really know if you are "okay". In this quick video you can learn a simple way that is completely free to understand the effect divorce has had on you. PLUS, you can use it many times to see your growth and recovery. All free. This tool has been around for over 40 years and used by thousands of people. In fact, it has been shown by researchers to be the most accurate method of gauging a persons adjustment to divorce. The tool is the Fisher Divorce Adjustment Survey. It used to be a printed test that would take about 2 hours to answer and score. Now it is available, for free, and takes about 10 minutes at rebuilders.net To start, look for the "self test" button in the top right corner. Once you complete the self test you will get your scores plus suggestions on how best to move forward.
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Are you feeling overwhelmed, stuck and ashamed when dealing with divorce? You're not alone! Join me as I dive into the secret to freeing yourself from divorce shame. Learn how to recognize and address the underlying causes of your suffering to experience true freedom and start healing your heart. This podcast is filled with actionable tips that will help you move forward on your journey of self-discovery and liberation. Don't miss out!
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This episode is from a presentation that was put together to help people understand why some people recover faster than others. Everyone is different and people have different needs. But we also see that people typically have a "go to" about what they need. Often this is what they know, it is their preferred strategy for feeling better. And sometimes the thinking that got them to where they are isn't the thing that will help them recover. In fact, it may be something very different.
In this episode Kevin discusses the 3 main components of a quick recovery. He also explains why some traditional programs don't work for people and what to do instead.
This is a long episode and it isn't just Kevin talking. You get to hear from more than 20 people talking about the components of their recovery and what worked for them.
For more information visit Rebuilders.net
Also, you can take the free self test at: https://rebuilders.net/divorce-adjustment-assessment/
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Divorce is hard. So many problems, so intensely. No wonder it is overwhelming and people feel lost.
So what can you do about it? Learn some ideas on how to reframe the problem of having so many problems.
Find out more at:
https://go2.rebuilders.net/ws-info
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Music is so powerful. In divorce it can be helpful AND hurtful.
Here is the Spotify Playlist: https://spoti.fi/3zEas8c
Here is the Amazon Music Playlist: https://amzn.to/3DCC7Yf
And here is the link for the free training: https://bit.ly/3t2L0VT
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https://web.rebuilders.net/divorce-adjustment-assessment/?utm_source=podcast2Dealing with the effects of divorce is so hard. Sometimes it seems overwhelming. People are often unsure where to start or what to do. It's understandable. There are few times in life that are more traumatic. It can feel like you are trying to ride a unicycle and juggle at the same time.
But this is what people learn to do in the process we teach. When you start to see that it is possible everything gets easier.
In this episode I talk about how to do this...
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How to Let Go with less suffering and faster using an analogy from yoga.
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https://web.rebuilders.net/divorce-adjustment-assessment/?utm_source=podcast2In this episode I compare and contrast grieving a friend's death and the grief of my divorce. They are similar but different. Each carries its weight and difficulties.
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We just want to be happy, but it isn't that easy. Especially during divorce. Unfortunately, many people pursue the wrong things in the wrong order and end up feeling worse. In this episode we discuss the method that actually works.
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