Episodios
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Welch and Moynihan are back in the studio, three days after the end of democracy, counting the days before they get the midnight knock from Trumpâs NKVD. So what does one do? Engage in some anticipatory obedience, obviously. But can anything save them? Subscribe to find out!
Note: Matt came across this amazing video only after recording this episode. So âŠ
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The Fifth did a bit of processing today with our Trump-supporting friend at her Connecticut studio. Hungover, exhausted, bedraggled, the lads then returned to the scene of last nightâs Fifth-Free Press-Reason party and recorded this episode. They enjoyed it. And they suspect you will too.
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¿Faltan episodios?
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This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com
* Kmele on his appearance in Thomas Chatterton Williams new Atlantic piece
* The end of America!
* If you donât vote like me, you should be ashamed of yourself!
* Weâre not âheterodoxâ
* On never talking policy
* Authoritarianism in America
* Boyz in the Hood redux
* A whole lot of final election thoughts
* A listener from Utah teaches us about TBCK syndrome
* Kemi Badenoch on uneqâŠ
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* A Thomas Jefferson freak off
* The tree of libertyâŠ
* âElection integrityâ
* Whatâs happening with those Pennsylvania ballots?
* Editorial page endorsements are worthless
* Why wonât you resign, lady?
* A slaughter at MSG
* These people have lost their minds
* And Bezos is correct: they donât trust you
* The end of the NYT sports page actually said something importantâŠ
* The bubble
* An absurd boycott
* What would a Kamala victory mean for Israel?
* Finally a good Downfall memeâŠ
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* To promote his Substack conversation with Moynihan (live today at 5pm ET only on the Substack app!), Josh Szeps calls in from the car and talks Aussie stuff for 20 minutes.
* Banning that lady from your country (âDoes anything ride on this?")
* Baghdad Bob on Australia
* The Times and the truth
* People who disappear
* They are making me talk about this fascism shit
* âŠ
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* How to be a Navy Seal
* Losing an eye in Afghanistan
* Dan canât find his glasses / âI canât see shitâ
* Lessons from Iraq and Afghanistan
* A case study in intelligence failure and confirmation bias
* On leaving the Taliban in power
* Has Trump been good on foreign policy?
* The Republican Party post-Trump
* Tucker "is best friends with Hunter Biden!â
* Why are you even in Congress?
* On the mechanics of Congress
* Maybe a hundred normal congressmen
* What has Dan accomplished for Texas?
* Is populism winning?
* On banning TikTok
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* Dave in the Hall
* Dead in the garden
* All the dictators
* His kampf
* McDonalds troofer
* Can Trump be funny?
* People donât care about what we care about
* A friend attacks
* BHO was a great candidate
* Wham-O, Sandusky, and the kids Freak Off
* On âNeighborhood Bullyâ
* Never say âgrandeâ
* What plagiarism counts
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* Old wine, old bottles
* Bret Baier v. Kamala
* He finally asked Mattâs question. Or was it Kmeleâs question?
* On not answering questions
* The wisdom of Bill Clinton
* Back to the politics of the 90s
* We always come back to it: late night is awful
* Weed reparations
* We always come back to it: fascism
* Please come back, archive.org
* Shutting down CBS?
* Why the media being stupid is actually really important
* Ted v Colin
* Micklewaithe v. Trump
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A rebroadcast
* Military propaganda for the kidz!
* Jewish Columbus
* A new history of communism
* The brainworm burrows in again
* The Italian
* Obamaâs code switch
* There are meaningful differences between *these men*
* Polling problems
* The brothers Menendez
* Sarah, live from Folsom
* Chomskyâs Cuba book
* Are there still meaningful policy differences between the two major partieâŠ
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* Yes, Michael J. Fox actually actually has Parkinsonâs
* The MAGA hat incident
* We got a journalist around hereâŠheâs asking a lot of questions
* Choppinâ it up with 60
* Young morons embrace violence
* German American Bund at MSG 2.0!
* Bob âSilent Coupâ Woodward
* Look, he was actually unfairly treated
* Schultz interviews Trump
* It was Jeff Gerth, actually
* A tale of two natural disasters
* The natural disaster of a Kamala interview
* Running out the clock: âFrankly, I love the American peopleâ
* Debate home run derby
* Moynihanâs Utne Reader piece for 2008. Welch on Katrina
* New media that we love. Or at least *like*
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* A very brief baseball convo. Relax.
* Kid (and adult) anxiety
* Donât kill on snek
* The science of Trumpâs brain?
* The worst of all the excuses
* Oliverâs dad and the JJ Rule
* The Big Dance on OpenLibrary, btw
* Fatherhood songs
* Phones, kids, rabbit holes
* Pete Rose was the bestâŠand the worst
* On Kris Kristofferson
* On Megyn and Moynihan
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* The title is correct: everyone will hate something in this episode!
* Moynihan is dying?
* GPT as your GP
* Choc and Chiclet
* $$$ for TV
* J.D. says Trump won in 2020
* Jack Smith could have asked Moynihan
* You hate him. But not enough.
* A goomba union boss is going to choke America out
* Rich and âworking classâ
* Create jobs! End EZ-Pass!
* Remembering the execrable Harry Bridges
* Why is the government still mailing free Covid tests?
* (MM fact-checks himself)
* Lebanon and beyond
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Kmeleâs voice is craggy; Moynihan is on the precipice of illness; Hasan Nasrallah has been delivered to a fiery âparadise,â last seen with his hand up own skirt, desperate to locate 70-odd sexually inexperienced coreligionists.
Also:
* Patâs âthugocracyâ
* Hockey fights.
* Johnny Turkey
* Your legacy is one bad Twitter prediction
* Ranking the least badly governedâŠ
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* The return of the Boss POC
* The veep sits for an âinterviewâ
* Thatâs all she had to doâŠ
* Will Michael Cohen be assassinated?
* Not if he escapes the country (and his family)!
* The return of Tennessee
* 10 days in an uncomplicated land
* That conflict is just like all things I care about (except itâs nothing like the things I care about)
* Disassociating yourself from the freaks and terror supporters
* So we finally got to Diddy
* Sure, heâs a monster! But the Mann Act??
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* When you think youâre right about everything
* Alternate episode title: Candace Owens Discovers a New Fact Every DayâThis Time, She Didnât Blame the Jews
* âThe incentive for her is to be more mentally ill, because she seems to be doing quite well by losing her mind in publicâ
* It will be like leaving a 70âs cult
* Nude Africa has gone offline :(
* Nobel laureates âŠ
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Yet again, AI has done a bang-up of summarizing a Fifth Column episode, which mostly covers the insane economic policies of both idiot candidates and why members of Hezbollah are having their balls blown off.
But according to the half-sentient supercomputers, the lads discuss how âMelania Trump's new book is a focal point, with humorous commentary on its content and implications.â True enough. And also, there is apparently some conversation about how âevidence is often disregarded in political claims.â Well yes, thatâs pretty much every segment on every episode. âThe speakers critique the absurdity of political discourse and the influence of social media on public narratives.â Is it odd that the AI episode summary failed to note that Moynihan yet again makes fun of Sam Altman? Only as odd, we suspect, as Snowden not tweeting negative things about PutinâŠ
And remember, if you want an extra episode every week, want to interact with the boys on the members-only âSecond Sundayâ episodes, or just want them to answer your pressing (emailed) questions, be sure to subscribe today!
This is a public episode. If youâd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe -
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com
First: Our remote recording software uses AI to create text âsoundbitesâ from every episode episode. They are best ignored. But this week, it came up with this: "Music is crazy."
"This is about Indians."
"I want to be black."
"You must have a white wife."
Yes, all of those important issues are discussed. But the conversation is mostly about the latest faileâŠ
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* This tattoo definitely wasnât a horrible mistake
* Matt has dementia
* Pim Tool: tool of the FSB?
* The $400,000 plagiarist
* Brain âinterferenceâ vs. election âinterferenceâ
* Did Trump acknowledge that he lost in 2020?
* The childcare word salad
* Plastic straw journalistic DISGRACE
* Having principals versus having âa positionâ
* Dumb neo-Nazi realizes heâs been cheated
* More on the rise of junk history
* An overlooked bit of Tuckerâs controversial interview
* Hitler was very, very, very evil. And the migration crisis came with many negative consequences for Europe. Both of the things can be true, you dopes!
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* Illness fakers
* Medium fakers
* Ok, so letâs warm up with some music stuff
* Does any band have a perfect four-album run?
* âIâve read a lot of books on WWII!!â
* On the Martyr Made controversy
* Baby Irvings
* The bad guys are the good guys, and they have no agency
* âThe Holocaust was basically a housing issueâŠâ
* The Theresienstadt âdocumentaryâ
* The âterrorâ bombings
* IncidentaâŠ
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* Kamala finally submits to an interview
* A Cascade of Disappointment)
* A softball interview
* Flip, flop, flibbedy flop
* Wasted questions
* Just a question of grammar
* Code switch that racist wall
* Trump in the cemetery
* Trump in the bible
* Trump impressions
* Noel, Liam, Kmele
* Matt and Moynihan reveal a secret, racially segregated text thread
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