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  • Joel just saw the Elton John biopic Rocketman, and Dave wants to know how it stacks up to other rock biopics like Bohemian Rhapsody, and Kickstart My Heart. Spoilers: It’s a lot better than those two. This week the bois are joined by special guest, Reginald Dwight, AKA Sir Elton John! They even carted a piano into the Noise Hole to make him more comfortable.

    “A Bean-filled Galleon” by The Down and Dirty Transportation Boys“Goodbye Dildo Bike” by Elton John“Eat Your Mother’s Ass” by Queen“Tie Your Muffler Down” by Roger Taylor of QueenEvery junkie rock star has the same life story“I’m Gonna Suck and Fuck (And Screw)” by KISS“I Wanna Suck and Fuck”, an entirely different song by KISS“Piss In My Jorts” by Alice In Chains from Piss, the Alice in Chains Rock BiopicElton John has a fancy hat to suit your tastes“Goodbye Alien Queen” by Elton JohnRocketman succeeds where Bohemian Rhapsody failsFreddie Mercury was an angel-voiced horndog“Don’t Let Your Son Go Down On Me” by Elton John “Goodbye, Bowl of Cum” by Elton John “Daddy Boy and Stupid Son” by Elton John “Fuck U Pay ME” by Bernie Taupin (as performed by Elton John) “Gary’s Song” by Elton John “Sarah Connor” by Elton JohnNurture the Elton Johns in your gardenThe Queen finally snaps and eats her Corgis“Queen Aid” by Elton John “Goodbye Queenie Pooch” by Elton John “Hey! (It’s The Noise Bois)” by Elton John
  • This is The Noise Hole’s final episode in its youthful 20s. Next week it will enter it’s dirty 30s, and then it’ll REALLY start to sleep around and get fucked up. This week, Dave and Joel answer Noise Boi questions about staying motivated, and Creed, AND they do a solid 30 minutes of MetalliCHAT!

    “Why Do I Stay?” by Miserable Son Of A Bitch “I’m A Little Clever Shit” - Traditional Irish Folk Song How do you stop stopping when learning guitar? “Pickin’ & Choosin’” by The Mississippi Indecisive Boys“Impressing Girls With Your Guitar Skills” by The Cranberries“She’s Got Hot Legs” by AC/DCChugging Metallica riffs to impress your friendsBeing good at guitar is easier than being a good singerMetalliCHAT: S&M II“The Swedish National Anthem” by The Prime Minister Of Sweden“The Swedish National Anthem” by Mariah Carey Swedish Hot Dog BaseballMetallica’s cinematic video for Mission Impossible 2 destroys San FranciscoKirk Hammet is a mischievous goblinGary clarifies Kevin’s parentage… sort of Your standard Stone Gossard riffs“Yeah’a Naw Haw” by Eddie Vedder “Eddie Vedder’s An Owl” by Pearl JamWhat’s the deal with Creed?“With Cloaca Open” by Creed“I’ve Got That Church Money” by Creed“This Is Safe Rock” by Creed“The Doors Are Open” by Scott Stapp“Hey! (It’s The Noise Bois)” by Metallica
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  • Dave and Joel have some hard news to deliver to some of their favorite bands: HANG UP THE AXE, IT’S TIME TO RETIRE! Or is it? Listen to the very end to find out the final verdicts for Weezer, Green Day and more, AND get a healthy dose of beautiful Irish folk music!

    “College Is Expensive” by A Regular American Family“I’ll Carry You (Like A Swan)” by A Less Regular American FamilyJoel’s parents stole his college money“My Daddy Probably Spent It On Drugs” by Primal ScreamWhich bands should call it quits?“My Dick’s Not Very Big” by 1996 WeezerPatrick Wilson from Weezer is a cartoon duck, it seems“You Smiled At Me (I Pissed My Jeans)” by 1996 Weezer“My Pants Are Filled With Love (And Piss)” by 2001 Weezer“Let’s Do All The Fuckin’ Pills” by 2002 Weezer“My Life’s So Fuckin’ Lit” by 2010 WeezerGreen Day’s rock and roll trajectory“I’m Feeling A Little Fat” by Billie Joe Armstrong“286” by Green DayDave hates music videos with storiesJoel loves music videos with simple gimmicks “Rollin’” by Limp Bizkit has the best videoThe Foo Fighters make GREAT videosShitty band lineages “The Ballad of Me Patreon” a traditional Irish Folk Ballad“Hey! (It’s The Noise Bois)” by Blur
  • It seems the Noise Bois were worried about Glenn Danzig’s employment situation, so Dave and Joel checked in and got WAY MORE than they bargained for. It’s a Danzig-centric episode, with bits of Ozzy and The Ramones tossed in for flavor. The word of the week is “rankled.” When someone says “rankled,” remember to SCREAM REAL LOUD!!!

    “The Rise Of The Machines” by Jazzy Fruit Johnson and Self Checkout-bot 3000“Glenn, What’s Your Job Today?” by Danzig “My Hair!” by Danzig“I’m A Snake” by Danzig“I’m Not Eating Cum Anymore (For A Job)” by DanzigWhat to do if your house gets infested with Danzigs“Tacos!” by DanzigThe legend of GlennHelsing“The Danzigs Are Flying” by Terrified Villagers“It’s Danzig Night” by Terrified Villagers fr. Iron Maiden “It’s Danzig Night” as covered by Ozzy Osbourne Glenn Danzig asks Ozzy and Sharon for a jobSharon Osbourne is a time witch“My Skills” by Danzig ft. Ozzy OsbourneOzzy and Sharon have a job for GlennOzzy calls Tony Iomi on the Time Phone“Randy Plane” by Ozzy Osbourne Tony Warns Ozzy of terrible things to come“The Two Jobs I Can’t Do” by DanzigOzzy finally finds a job that Glenn will do“Ozzy, You Can Count On Me” by Danzig“Lymph Nodes” by DanzigTranslating Pee Wee Herman to Mr. BeanWhat if the Ramones played Beatles songs?The Beatles’ “Yesterday” by The Ramones“(Hey Ho!) You’ve Got To Hide Your Love Away” by The RamonesThe Noise Hole was designed to channel psychic energy “Choose The Form of Your Destructor” by Bowie The Bozerian “Thanks, Everybody / Hey! (It’s The Noise Bois)” by The Ramones
  • I hope you’re ready for songs about sandwiches, and the nastiest, snottiest punk rock this side of London circa 1982, Noise Bois, because that’s precisely what you’re gonna get in this FIRST EVER Noise Hole episode recorded in THE ACTUAL NOISE HOLE!!!

    “I’m A Hungry Boy” by John MayerJohn Mayer and Seal at Live 8“Please Don’t Eat Me, Dude” by John Mayer and Seal Dave and Joel dive into the Noise Hole Actual“The Ballad of Beautiful Noise Bois” by Dave McElfatrickDave defends Subway subway sandwiches“A Message to The Leaders of The Free World” by SubwayJoel’s memories of Audioslave at Live 8Green Day sells out to the NHL?“Hockeycase” by Green Day“Hockey Of The Day” by MetallicaMetallichat: James’s addiction relapse / Does being a millionaire destroy your rock/metal/punk cred?Empathy for celebrity addicts vs. regular dickheadsPaul Rogers and Bad MittensCan music festivals save the Earth?Rock & Roll Ambivalence with Van HalenVan Halen isn’t allowed to play covers“Smells Like Teen Spirit (Baby)” by Van Halen“Jamie’s Cryin’’ by Nirvana Rock & Roll Conspiracies: Manic Street Preachers edition“Messy Nessy” by Manic Street Preachers ft. Snotty Punks“In The Beginning” by Johnny Boogers and Tony SkidmarkDave’s fake snotty punk rock band, The Shits“Your Granny’s Fanny” by The Shits“Clint Eastwood” by The Shits“Hashpipe” by The Shits“Alive” by The ShitsThe Shits are too crazy for Ozzy“Crazy Train” by The Shits“Fuck Gary” by The Shits“Kiss From A Rose” by The Shits“Thomas Campbell” by The Shits“Hey! (It’s The Noise Bois)” by The Shits“Little Bastard” by The Shits
  • What really broke up the Beatles? Was it Yoko? Band infighting? Or was it a plot so insidious that the very nipples on John Lennon’s chest weren’t safe from Paul’s ire? Also, LOTS of METALLICHAT-UH™. Dig in, Noise Bois!

    “Airplane Friends” by Row 26, Seats A and BJoel watched terrible, worthless movies on an airplaneDave and Joel are pretty bad at Australian accents“The Ballad of Me Fake Accent” by John Lennon“It’s Sunny Outside” by Paul McCartney“I’m Carrot Paul” by John Lennon“My Name Is John” by Paul McCartney“I’ve Been Plotting Your Death” by Paul McCartneyDueling John Lennons“Happiness Is A Warm Gun with The Safety On, Mark David Chapman” by John Lennon“Lethal Nipples” by The BeatlesJoel’s happy about his sparkly, jangly riffPatreon Spotlight Question: What about “Weird Al” Yankovic?The Bois are DIVIDED over “Weird Al” The Dark Knight: “Weird Al” EditionDave’s guitar on The Antiques RoadshowDave’s pleased with his new thrasy toneMetallichat: S&M II Why do we rag on Metallica so hard? “Nothing Else Matters, Besides Our Patreon” by MetallicaReverse Covers: Bob Dylan and Guns N’ RosesCheck in with The BouyeesCheck in with Morissey“Hey! (It’s The Noise Bois)” by Morrissey
  • Sink them teeth into a moldy-ass peach, cuz them Noise Bois, Dave and Joel, are kicking out some low key, low energy, low effort jams Juno soundtrack style. They also dig in their spurs, and get in touch with their country side again. And Gary? HOOOBOY, does Gary get in trouble. He’s been a naughty little drum goblin.

    “Autumn Song (Daddy’s Attic Photos)” by Penfold or Mineral“When A Father Gives His Son A Gimp Mask” by Penfold or Mineral“Spinning A Surreptitious Dildo” by Dashboard ConfessionalBack when Emo got a thesaurus “Illuminated With Fairy Lights” by Dashboard Confessional “Just Chill (When My Wife Goes To Bed)” by Some Other 90s Emo Band“A Man Needs Hummus” by Country Dave and The Sandwich Fingerers“I’ve Guy 2 Questions” by Travis Dangler and The Wrangler StrangersGary gets caught being VERY NAUGHTY!You can’t get funky in a minor key“3-Way Conversation” by Bassy Jake and The Funky Spunk MonksRevisiting the idea that “jazz sucks” Signing up for higher frequency laughsJazz chat in a smokey clubSmoldering opinions on The Moldy Peaches“The Matrix” theme by The Moldy Peaches“Schindler’s List” theme by The Moldy Peaches“Cape Fear” theme by The Moldy Peaches“Terminator 2” theme by The Moldy PeachesThe Moldy Peaches do some movie pitches to Stevearino“Forrest Gump” theme by The Moldy Peaches“Joel Watson” theme by The Moldy PeachesDave’s moldy flashback to 2009“Somewhere Out There (it’s Dave)” by Joelvel Mousekewitz“Somewhere Out There” by 70’s Tom WaitsWhen your Internet man gets sad“Cheering Up Tom Waits” by The Moldy Peaches“Our Best Boys” by 70’s Tom WaitsAll The Noise Bois are TrainsDave and Joel’s worst experiences holding a guitar“I’ll Apologize” by young Joel“Baby, I Don’t Have A Lot Going On” by young Dave“Show Me Your Tits” by Blink-182“Lord, Oh Lord, You Gotta Show Me Them Titties” a traditional spiritual hymn“I’m In The Lord’s Titty Army” by Dave and The Proddies“Our God Has Some Awesome Tits” by Joel and The Wednesday Night Youth Group“Our Lord Has Some Awesome Tits” by System of A Down“Toxcicitine” by System of A Down ft. Gary“Hey! (It’s The Noise Bois)” by The Moldy Peaches ft. 70’s Tom Waits
  • Noise Bois, you’re going to have to forgive us as we indulge in this Nickelback-heavy Noise Hole. It’s a thing, it happened, let’s get past it. It’s like Soylent for your ears. It keeps you alive, but no one’s actually enjoying themselves. Also a seemingly NEVER ENDING train of rock stars, living and dead, visit The Hole today, no thanks to GARY!

    “Photograph Psychopath” by NickelbackAn update on Gary’s smokingNoise Bois carving Jack-Hole-Lanterns!!!“The Ballad Of The Pumps” by The Noise Bois (as portrayed by Dave)“Listen To Photograph” by NickelbackCHADchat: A visit from Chad Kroeger and Stevearino“Look At This Chart” by Nickelback“Listen To Photograph” by Nickelback“Nothing Else Matters Is A Pretty Good Song” by Metallica“Another Green Day Song” by Green Day“The Biggest Hit Of All Time” by Nickelback fr. Green Day“Look At This Spider-Man” by Nickelback“Listen To Clutch” by Nickelback“Lo Mein Protests” by Nickelback“Fart Sniffing Creep” by Radiohead“Hey! (It’s The Noise Bois)” by RadioheadIggy Pop’s spider smokin’ fiasco“Lust For Spiders” by Iggy Pop“Look At This Iggy Pop” by Nickelback“Look At These Lovely Boys” by Morrissey“Look At These Lovely Boys (Reprise)” by MorrisseyPatreon Spotlight: Does rock and roll need drugs?Beatles Reminisce featuring John and Paul“Ringo Gave Me A Ride” by The Beatles“I’m Going To Self-Immolate” by The Beatles“Sweaty Child’o Mine” by Sloshy SlashOzzy and Sharon return, uninvitedWhat do the Noise Boi’s parents think?Now THAT’s what Dave calls music! “Enter Dave’s Mom” by MetallicaThe Insufferable and Hyper-Specific Croonery of Seth McFarlane“Look At This Family Guy” by Nickelback ft. The GriffinsElton John confronts his mean mumMore Family Guy talk for some god damn reason“Look At This Patreon” by Nickelback“Why Can’t I Be A Bouyee With A Loving Mother?” by The Bouyees“Why’s Our Dads A Couple of Drug Addicts?” by The Bouyees ft. Jack Black and Peter Griffin
  • Put a trash bag over your head, and sinch it with a rubber band, because THIS is the Halloween (adjacent) episode of The Noise Hole, and YOUR costume is “Trash Ghost.” This SPOOOOKIEST of episodes only features MAX SPOOKS for the first ten-ish minutes, then the ENTIRE REST of it is about 1960’s doowop music… which SHOULD scare the living shits out of your ass. It’s less of a treat, and more of a trick, but you knew the deal when you knocked on our door.

    “Spooky Candy Time” by 2LittleBoisOfficer RegularHead vs. The Headburgler“Fried Egg On A Hamburger” by 2LittleBoisDave’s dark magic dental adventureHarry Potter and The Ghost What Eats Your Shit“Talkin’ ‘Bout Rock & Roll” by RushWhere are the old-ass, original metalheads? “Sherry” by Some 60s Pop Quartet The remaining Monkees lose their Monkee-bucks“Hey Hey, We’re The Monkees (Thrash Remix)” by The Monkees“Suck My Fuckin’ Shit” by The MonkeesTommy and Sally’s regular 1960s courtship“Sally, My Best Girl” by The Dinner Platters“Fuck Dem Tiddies, Yeah” by Big Tony“Sweet Georgie Girl” by The Dinner Platters ft. Big TonyTommy, Sally and Big Tony at the sock-hop in 1963Casey Kasem’s Top 5 Hits of 1963“Kiss Me On The Regular Lips” by Tammy and The Poodle Skirts“Un, Deux, Trois” by the Serviettes “Jesus Slayed All The Puss” by Elvis Presley Elvis Press Conference“Sit With Me Under The Cherry Tree” by Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons“Enlist Your Fist (Smooch My Gooch)” by Tommy and The Dinner PlatesThe Terminator takes Sarah Connor to the 1960’sPatron Spotlight: How do you feel about audiophiles? How do you change chords without looking?“Start With F” by Morrissey Pete Wentz is a Pete Dunce (bass-wise)We got presents from Noise Bois! “Hey! (It’s The Noise Bois)” by Tommy and The Dinner Plates
  • This week Dave and Joel take a Dave and stroll down memory lane, as the bois recall their first computers. What is this? The TECHNOLOGY HOLE?! Not after Lemmy fucking Killmeister shows up to… talk about computers. Hmm… maybe it IS The Tech Hole, but you know, still with like a ton of fun songs.

    “The Unforgiven IV” by MetallicaAn update on Gary’s smoking detoxThe Bois try to name all the cartoon characters that were kicked out of Guns N’ RosesGuns N’ Roses star in Christopher Nolan’s dark, gritty Bambi reboot“Welcome To The Forest” by Guns N’ Roses N’ Bambi90s Computer Chat with The BoisDave and his Granny’s first computerMaking “the computer” work for the whole familyJoel’s first computerDave tries to email The Queen of EnglandQueen the band tries to get “an internet”“It’s A Kinda Mustache Magic” by Queen“Got To Have It All (Cock & Balls)” by Queen“Foxy Darling” by Queen and Jimmy HendrixLemmy returns for a RETRO RUNDOWN!!!How Lemmy learned to fly from Dave GrohlHow Lemmy got his castle“Super Mario Bros. 3 Airship Theme” by Motörhead“Chop Lemmy” by MotörheadLemmy’s first computer game countdownLemmy’s corrupting influence on Gary“Castle Monster Theme (Beedle Eedle Eedle)” by MotörheadThe history of Tetris“Tetris (Suck Me Cock)” by Motörhead“286 Cybersex” by MotörheadThe dark truth about StevearinoLemmy knows Dave’s dead GrannyLemmy rates his very first PC games“Lemmy’s Theme” by Lemmy and The Noise Bois“Another Brick In The Wall” by MotörheadLemmy’s astonishing revelation about Pink Floyd“Comfortably Numb” by Motörhead“Comfortably Numb” again, but better by Motörhead
  • Dearest Noise Bois, I would hope that as you commute to your place of business, enjoy a low impact workout on an elliptical machine, or simply drown out the incessant prattling of your cow-eyed coworkers (the only 3 acceptable ways to enjoy a podcast) that you appreciate this over indulgent dose of dueling Bowie impressions, a litany of funky and country jams, and a truly in depth exploration of the Los Angeles aqueducts, as featured in the second Terminator film.

    “The New Post-Brexit National Anthem of Britain” by Brian May and a small Bosnian boy ft. The Queen of England and David Bowie“I Have to Go And Die Now (Take Care of Eachother)” by David Bowie“Tv, Radio, and The VHS Player” by David Bowie“I’m In A Forest” by David BowieDavid Bowie explores our five senses“Smells (Whatever You Do)” by David Bowie“Gimme A Little Taste” by David Bowie“The Cars Franchise” by Black Star-era David Bowie ft. John LasseterOBLIGATORY TERMINATOR CHAT: A Terminator reboot featuring Bowie and The Rolling Stones“Judgement Day” by Billy IdolT2’s Mullet Kid’s family strifeJoel hates 2019 tween 90’s fashion reduxTrent Reznor: Award Winning Country Musician Dave and Joel have never heard “Old Town Road” Gary reaches new heights of insubordination WCW presents: Country vs. Rap“Don’t Vagazzle That Tank” by Chet Countryman ft. Master P.Zeke, Trevor, and Nathaniel, the Racist Rhinestone Cowboys“Head Like A Hole” by Chet CountrymanJohnny Cash makes peace with death, but not with his wifeJohnny Cash decides to record his final songsJohnny Cash and his good friend Steven TylerSteven Tyler thinks he might be in KISS“Cryin” by Johnny Cash and Steven TylerVH1’s Supergroup with Sebastian Bach and Ted Nugent “Rock & Roll is a Savage Animal” by 2 Davids Bowie, ft. Sebastian Bach“Funky Turds (In The L.A. Aqueducts)” the charity single by 2 Davids Bowie ft. Mick Jagger, Steven Tyler, Johnny Cash, Trent Reznor, and Morrissey Bono weighs in on the turd charity situation“The Long and Winding Bit” by The Bittles TURDS4LAX“Hey! (It’s The Noise Bois)” by David Bowie
  • This week, things are getting spacey-wacey and prob’ly wobbly, as the Bois check in with everyone’s favorite low budget, British alien of mystery: Professor Time Problem. There’s also a ton of Blink-182 and pee-pee poo-poo songs.

    “I’ve Got Some Bad News” By Dr. Bluesman, M.D.“Our Medical Technology Is Severely Limited” by Bob Dylan“Crawling (Shanty Version)” by Bob DylanDid the Bois love Linkin Park?“Black Rainbow” by Some 90s Alternative Band“Gutting A Fish” by Smashing Pumpkins“Black Rainbow (I’m Sad REMIX)” by Linkin Park“I’m Sad (I’m A Kebab)” by Linkin Park“You Ain’t Nothin’ But Egg” by Bloodhound GangPromoting your highschool rock showsTeenage Dave gets abducted by Emo Aliens“I’m A 90s Emo Boy” by Dave and The Hammer Bros., or possibly Brand New“Do A Fart” by Dave and The Hammer Bros.Is The Noise Hole too scatalogical? (Answer: NO)The theme to classic BBC sci-fi show, Professor Time ProblemProfessor Time Problem and the Terror of The Time WormBlink-182 goes through the Time Worm to the Freddy Mercury tribute concert“Freddy’s Dead (I’m Sorry)” by Blink-182“Crazy Little Thing Called Love” by Blink-182Blink-182 loses their youthful zest“Gonna Jack Off Into My Own Shit” by Blink-182“Rudy Poos And Big Wet Shits” by Blink-182“Patreon Spotlight” by Blink-182Patreon Spotlight: What are your favorite 2 Boi riffs?“We Have No Idea” by Screeching Weasel “Hey! (It’s The Noise Bois!)” by Professor Time Problem and the Evil Robot
  • Gravy greetings, Noise Bois! Or should I say, Tone Turkeys? No, I shouldn’t. I’m sorry. That was Gary’s idea. As you stuff yourself with seasonal meats and treats, please use this episode as an escape from your terrible family. There’s no reason to suffer this holiday season, when you can pop in your headphones and disappear down the Noise Hole. Take THAT, Uncle Jerry, you goddamn racist.

    “Thanksgiving (What A Time To Be Free)” by The Gravy BrothersAn update on Babbages and Starfox 64Why does the world think all Americans are stupid? Oh, right. “Wizard Boy” by The Gravy Brothers“Wizard Boy 2: The Sequel” by The Gravy BrothersWhat genre of music is the easiest to jump into? DIY punk ethos“You Don’t Need To Be Good” by Every Punk BandAll music is punk rock if you remove enough extraneous bullshit“When The Levee Breaks” by Led Zeppelin except punk, and all the lyrics are wrongIs Gary a Harlequin Baby? Green Day’s trajectory from punk to mainstream popDavid Geffen demands Green Day reinvent themselves“David’s Plan” by Green DayThe Ghost Of Joey Ramone haunts Billie Joe Armstrong“Gimme That NHL Money (Baby)” by Green DayBillie Joe has a realization while in a boy pile“Jimmy’s Chode” by Billie Joe ArmstrongPatreon Spotlight: Rock covers of Disney songsDave loves TangledSloppy punk version of Tangled’s “I See The Light” by NOFX “Evermore” from Beauty And The Beast by Load-era MetallicaThrash = Punk + 10% more effortSoup shoes and new News!“Hey! (It’s The Noise Bois)” by The Gravy Brothers
  • Noise Bois, this episode is all about finding your voice… finding your Noise Vois, as it were. The Bois challenge a few bands to defend their honor in the ring, and get pretty deep into Scott Stapp from Creed’s love of fish. It’s BIG pizza fuck energy, all the way down!

    “Two Boys At The Bar” by Two Boys At The Bar“King Of The Bathroom” by Two Boys At The Bar“The Puckered Tight Power Hour Theme Song” by The Noise BoisHow Joel manages Gary“(Arnold Says) Spin The Long” by Arnold Schwarzenegger “Slowly Chase The Robot” by Arnold Schwarzenegger Arnold vs. the Gym DweebWhat bands are the Noise Bois as good as?The Noise Bois issue a challenge to Korn“Davey Don’t Do Again” by Korn“Summer Slam” by Korn vs. The Noise Bois“Grundy, Give Me A Pie” by KornYour dying Granny regrets not getting into Korn“Amazing Grace” by KornLearning to sing by doing vocal impressions of popular singers“Singin’ ‘bout Titties and Puss” by Any 80s Hair Metal Band“Singin’ ‘bout Death” by Any 90s Grunge Band“That’s My Sound” by Eddie VedderCreed goes to a fish restaurant “Fisherman” by Creed“I’ll Take Pepsi” by CreedWhat did Joel do with free Scott Stapp tickets?“Free Scott Stapp Tickets” by Creed“Pick Pizza Fuck Energy” by CreedMark Tremonti survived CreedJoel has a musical awakening in his early 20s“Basketcase” by Green Day if they were from Northern IrelandWhy does every singer in the world sing in a neutral American accent?The vowels of 90s American alternative singersSTP were accused of biting Pearl Jam’s styleThe vocal evolution of Scott WeilandJoel’s manager at Guitar Center in 1999 almost makes him cry“Orange Pop’s Revenge” by Stone Temple Pilots“Hey! (It’s The Noise Bois)” by Stone Temple Pilots
  • It’s Dave’s birthday, Noise Bois! Let’s celebrate by busking out in the cold, dreary street, and hope some scarlet-haired beauty with the voice of an angel will come and delivery us from musical obscurity, and certain starvation. Also, Gary has a mic in this episode! A mistake that I assure you will NEVER happen again.

    “I’m A Busker” by Philly Busker BoyA digression on the de-evolution of sea mammals“It’s Dave’s Birthday” by Joel and GaryJoel gets his eyes lasered off“I’m Just A Tuna” by Joel’s Laser Eye Surgeon Dave looks terrible for 34, GREAT for 35A birthday prank on Dave“I’m A Summer Sausage” by Dave and the 35 Year Olds“When I First Saw Your Eyes” by Busker and CronePurchasing your personal style: A Tale of Chain Wallets“I’m A Crust Punk” by Crusty and The Butt FlapsRomanticizing dirtbag culture“Guh! (I’m A Punk Boy)” by Screeching Weasel “Guh! (I’m A Punk Boy) (Reprise)” by Crusty BuskerPatreon Spotlight: Is it too easy to get famous without talent?“Silly Billy Doop Doop” by Jake PaulNirvana’s award show beef with Guns N’ RosesNirvana Chat: 2 good years?Is Nirvana’s Incesticide a real album?Is a band less real once they break up or die?GARY SPEAKS?! Dave’s childhood science magazines teach him about Freddy MercuryFreddy Mercury as a YouTuber?Does celebrity = talent? Did it ever?The Cobains’ reality show“The Ballad of The Noise Hole Patreon” by Busker and Crone“Hey! (It’s The Noise Bois)” by Busker and Crone
  • DECK. THOSE. HALLS, Noise Bois! It’s That special time of year where we all think about what we want, and talk about what we want, and leave unsubtle hints about what we want in hopes that someone close to us (or otherwise obligated to us) will purchase them, and hand them to us, relinquishing all claim to the item. A joyous time of fellowship, food, and commercialism! I hope you’ve been nice, but I KNOW you’ve been naughty, so get ready to suck coal out of a sock: IT’S THE NOISE HOLE CHRISTMAS EPISODE!!!

    “Christmastime For Everyone” by David Bowie and Lemmy Killmeister Joel snatches Gary’s letter to SantaHow do the bois celebrate the holidays?Dave’s Christmastime tips!“Christmas Is The Season” by Rage Against The MachineDavid Bowie and Bing Crosby’s Christmas duetX-Factor’s Christmas marketing strategy Joel’s Apple Music Year in Review!When/where do you listen to music and why?“Two Little Boys On A Bed Wearing The Same Sweater” by Death Cab For CutieTegan and Sara, and listening to bands that are totally outside of your wheelhouseLive versions vs. studio versions of songsAurora and whaling/whining Scandanavian bandsDave’s Spotify 2019 Wrapped!Cromags vs. Cromags 2Hardcore vs. Metal: What’s the difference?NOFX: A band the whole family can enjoyMegadeth’s Irish faux pasThe Denny’s hardcore showDave’s top tracks of THE ENTIRE FUCKING DECADE?!“Sweet Davey Baby” by James TaylorDave is a closet Bon Jovi SUPERfan “Insect Nightmares” by The Lillingtons “I’m Your Artist of The Decade” by Tom WaitsDallas Noise Boi Meetup at Grungefest in January! The number 1 Christmas song of all time: “First Christmas” by Jesus Christ
  • It’s the final Noise Hole of 2019, Noise Bois! Blow your horns, and wear silly glasses, and set silly fires, and flip over silly police cars for a new year is upon us! We’re sending 2019 out in style, by sharing the best cover songs from our Patreon Post Show, as voted by Dave, Joel, not Gary, and the Patrons. Our $5+ Patreon Noise Boys got all these songs and tons more all throughout the year, and they’ll get even MORE In 2020! Do you want to be counted among those happy few? All it costs is money. Patreon.com/NoiseHole !!!

    “Where Is My Mind?” by The Pixies (Post Show 15)“Don’t I Hold You? by Wheat (Post Show 14)“Don’t Carry At All” by The Decemberists (Post Show 23)“Cry On Demand” by Ryan Adams (Post Show 22)“Fade Into You” by Mazzy Star (Post Show 24)“Eggs and Sausage” by Tom Waits (Post Show 22)“Gold Rush” by Death Cab For Cutie (Post Show 26)“When A Cowboy Trades His Spurs For Wings” from The Ballad of Buster Scruggs (Post Show 23)“Comfortably Numb” by Pink Floyd (Post Show 26)“Linoleum” by NOFX (Post Show 25)“Glycerine” by Bush (Post Show 27)“Purple Rain” by Prince (Post Show 27)“Eli The Barrow Boy” by The Decemberists (Post Show 23)“Song For Ireland / Wonderboy” by The Dubliners / Tenacious D (Post Show 30)“Lost Cause” by Beck (Post Show 33)“Attitude” by The Misfits (Post Show 33)“Divine Hammer” by The Breeders (Post Show (37)“Cool Kids” by Screeching Weasel (Post Show 37)“Authenticity” by Harvey Danger (Post Show 25)“Martha” by Tom Waits (Post Show 41)“Free To Run” by Gomez (Post Show 37)“The Middle” by Jimmy Eat World
  • It’s the first Noise Hole of a new year, and a new decade! Everything is NEW NEW NEW, so the Bois are talking about aging and/or dead rockers from the 70s, 80s, 90s and beyond! OLD OLD OLD! DEAD DEAD DEAD! Crawl into an Elton John Donald Duck costume! Gaze upon David Bowie’s power zoot suit! Book KISS for your funeral, try to describe Iggy Pop without going insane, and eulogize Dimebag Darrell in the most respectful way you know how! New year, same Noise Bois!

    “You Carved A Heart In A Tree” by Joe Cocker and Jennifer Warnes“I Wanna Be Sedated” by Bruce Springstein and The RamonesHarry Potter and the… I might be thinking of somebody else. True Rock & Roll Stories: Bruce Springstein in Gulf War II How the Bois spent their time offJoel’s big, expensive X-Mas present “A Donald Duck Costume For Christmas” by Joe Cocker, or possibly Dueling Bruce SpringsteinsWho actually likes their parents?! Dave, apPARENTly. Ozzy confronts his father with his life choices.Eddie Vedder learns the truth about his dad. David Bowie is a funky businessman. “Funky Business Bowie” by 80s David BowieDavid Bowie performs employee evaluations. “New Outfit” by David BowieActual recordings of David Bowie doing impressions of his contemporaries. Neil Young chooses to sing too high. “Space Oddity” by Neil Young and Sylvestor StaloneSylvestor Stalone meets Tim Armstrong from RancidStalone and Armstrong duetIggy Pop looks like…“Describing Iggy” by Iggy Pop“I’ve Got A Lust For Teeth” by Iggy PopDimebag Darrell’s big prank! KISS at Dimebag Darrell’s funeral.Dave loves fat drummers!Joel can’t remember his Ace Frehley impression. “Get The Abbott Brothers Out Of Hell” by KISS“Dimebag’s Doin’ Well” by KISS“Less Sex With Hot Women” by WeezerRivers Cuomo looks like…Gene Simmons looks like…The first Noise Boi Meetup is in our future and YOUR PAST! Are Dave and Joel still alive? Dave and Joel plan their extravagant funeral arrangements. Some Noise Bois sent us X-Mas presents!“Hey! (It’s The Noise Bois)” by Dueting Bruce Springsteins
  • This episode starts with a healthy dose of Nü Metal, but quickly diverts down the Retro Rabbithole as Dave and Joel are once again joined by Lemmy for a Rundown! See if you can spot your new favorite character at the very end of the episode. SPOILERS: His name is Steve Benkins - Band Usurper, and you love him with all your heart!

    “Outside” by Aaron Lewis with special guest Fred Durst, live at Woodstock ‘99Memories of Woodstock ‘94Red Hot Chilli Lightbulb HeadsMaybe they shouldn’t have done a Woodstock ‘99Needlessly Aggressive Nu-Metal“Look At These Mudfuckers” by Green DayThe Matrix told everyone it was OK to be spooky and leathery Metallica at Woodstock ‘99Mtv Icon: Metallica with covers by Limp Bizkit and KornLimp Bizkit sings about The Simpsons“Cheddar Bay Bizkits (Date Night, BITCH!)” by Limp BizkitLemmy’s Retro Rundown:What kind of sarcophagus does Lemmy sleep in?Gary looks like…Lemmy looks like…Lemmy’s playing The Evil Within on PS3“The Evil Within” by MotörheadLemmy’s playing Microprose Grand Prix from 1993Joel was turned upside down by Descent“Can You Name 2 of the 4 Companies Who Licensed 3DO” by MotörheadNintendo did Sony a dirty on the PlaystationGetting naughty gifs off BBS’s in the 90s“Foxxy Lemmy” by MotörheadRemember when game controllers went USB plug-n-play?What’s Lemmy’s true motivation?Did Lemmy participate in SOFTWARE PIRACY!?!?!What Mario character is named after Lemmy?Patreon Spotlight Question: Who is the most important person in a band?The recent Nirvana “Reunion” with Beck and St. Vincent Stone Temple Pilots’ new singer, Jeff GuttQueen and Adam Lambert or Marc Martel?Could Gary take over for Dave on the podcast?Steve Benkins takes over for James Hetfield in Metallica“Fade To Black” by James Hetfield, ft. Steve Benkins“Come As You Are” by Nirvana, ft. Steven BenkinsThe Bronze Medals of Iron Maiden form a bandWrap up of the first ever NOISE BOI MEETUP!!!“Hey! (It’s The Noise Bois)” by James Hetfield and Steve Benkins
  • There hasn’t been THIS much Aerosmith in an episode of The Noise Hole since that time we recorded in the bathroom of a Denny’s! Stick an apple in your mouth, baiste your own rump with delicious juices, and plop down on a silver platter like a suckling boy, because this episode is one hell of a ride!

    “They Think It’s Romantic” by An Early 2000s Emo Band… probably Brand New“I Wish, I Wish, I Wish” by the same Emo band“But You’re Not Here” by American Football“I Miss Her Terribly” by A Mom With Separation Anxiety Aliens observe Planet Aerosmith Aerosmith fires their drummer, Joey Kramer“Cryin’ and Firin’” by Aerosmith“We Should Form Aerosmith” by AerosmithAerosmith fired Joe Perry in the 80sJoey Kramer’s many nicknamesAerosmith, Las Vegas, and Suckling BoysJoey Kramer throws a classic fit“Nairobi, Baloney, Jabroni” by AerosmithJoey Kramer pulls a Joker at the GrammysJoel tries to think of names of country artistsTrent Reznor introduces Aerosmith at The Grammys“Grammy Bloodbath” by Aerosmith“Get Behind Clarence” by Clarence “Clear Conscience” Fatbottom “Free Them Suckling Boys” by Clarence “Clear Conscience” Fatbottom“Five Sucking Boys In An Elevator” by Clarence Fatbottom and Steven TylerClarence sets a sting for Steven Tyler“Count These Suckling Boys” by Clarence Fatbottom and Steven Tyler“Surprise, Motherfucker! It’s Clarence!” by Clarence Fatbottom and Steven TylerJoey Kramer haunts Steven Tyler’s nightmaresWhat does Steven Tyler’s dick look like?! The trial of Joey Kramer“Dave Mustaine Is Gonna Be OK” by MegadethA special message from Dave Mustaine“Hey! (It’s The Noise Bois)” by Megadeth