Episodios
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Welcome to another episode of The "So Now What?" Podcast! This week, we’re diving into the important topic of body image after infertility—a struggle many women face when their journey to motherhood didn’t go as planned. If you’ve been feeling disconnected or resentful toward your body after years of fertility treatments, this episode is for you.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
Why body image struggles are common for women who are childless after infertility.
How to begin the process of healing your relationship with your body by focusing on what your body does for you every day.
The benefits of gentle movement and why it’s important to move your body with kindness.
How to embrace body neutrality as a step toward self-acceptance, even if body positivity feels out of reach right now.
Practical self-care tips to help you reconnect with your body, including writing down three things you’re grateful for each day.
This episode also touches on self-compassion and how small shifts in how you think about your body can lead to big changes in how you feel about it. Whether it's appreciating that your body allows you to take a walk, or simply that it keeps you alive each day, reconnecting with your body is possible—one step at a time.
Lana also introduces her Fall Thrive After Infertility Mastermind, a 12-week coaching program designed to support you through challenging holidays like Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. You’ll get the tools and community to help you thrive, even when it feels like life didn’t go according to plan.
Key Takeaways from This Episode:
Body Image After Infertility: Understanding why infertility can make you feel disconnected from your body and how to start healing.
Gentle Movement and Self-Care: How small acts of kindness, like yoga or a walk, can help you feel more connected to yourself.
Body Neutrality: Why you don’t have to love your body right away, but you can learn to accept and care for it.
Want More Support?
Get the replay of Lana’s free class on handling awkward questions about not having kids. Just email her at [email protected] or DM her on Instagram.
Join the Fall Thrive After Infertility Mastermind: Learn more about this supportive, transformative program here.
Download Lana’s free guide: The Top 27 Things People Say When You’re Childless and How to Respond at LanaManikowski.com/thingspeoplesay.
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In this episode, Lana dives into the complex emotions that can arise when you’re the only one in your group of friends who is childless after infertility. If you've ever felt like an outsider among your BFFs as they talk about their kids, this episode is for you. Lana explores how to maintain meaningful connections, even when your life looks different from those around you. She shares personal stories and practical advice on how to embrace your unique journey, reclaim your relevance in your friendships, and feel empowered in your childless future.
What You’ll Learn:
How to recognize that your value in friendships isn’t diminished just because you don’t have kids. Tips on finding common ground with your friends that doesn’t center around motherhood. The importance of embracing your own journey and sharing your unique perspective with your friends. How to set compassionate boundaries with friends who are moms, and why it’s okay to do so. Ways to feel connected and relevant in conversations, even if you don’t have parenting stories to share.Key Takeaways:
You don’t have to relate 100% to everyone’s experiences to feel connected and valued. Your friends appreciate you for who you are, not for how closely your life mirrors theirs. It’s okay to set boundaries when certain topics or events feel too painful, and real friends will respect that. Embracing your journey as a childless woman can deepen your connections with your friends. You have the power to create and maintain meaningful connections, regardless of your childless status.Resources Mentioned:
Free Class: Register for Lana's free upcoming coaching class on September 10th about how to handle comments and questions when you're childless. If you can’t make it live, don’t worry—register to receive the replay. Thrive After Infertility Mastermind: Interested in joining Lana’s next Thrive After Infertility Mastermind starting on October 1st? This program is designed for women ready to move beyond their infertility journey and create a life they love. Free Resource: Get Lana’s free guide, "The Top 27 Things People Say When You're Childless and How to Respond," at LanaManikowski.com/thingspeoplesay.Support the Podcast: If you enjoyed this episode, please consider rating and reviewing the podcast. Screenshot your review and send it to Lana to receive a $5 Starbucks gift card as a thank you! Your reviews help other women who are searching for resources to find the support they need.
Stay Connected:
Follow Lana on Instagram: @LanaManikowski Join the conversation on Facebook: Lana’s Facebook PageThank you for listening! Remember, it's never too late to discover your meaning and fall in love with your life again. Tune in next week for another empowering episode.
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Welcome to this week's episode of The "So Now What?" Podcast! In this episode, we're diving into a subject that many women who are childless after infertility can relate to—managing emotions during back-to-school season when you weren’t able to have kids. This time of year can bring a mix of emotions—sadness, frustration, comparison, and even a deep sense of loss—as you see friends, family, and social media filled with photos of children heading off to school.
For those of us who went through infertility treatments and now find ourselves living a life without children, back-to-school season can be a stark reminder of what we hoped for and what didn’t come to pass. It’s easy to feel as though life is moving forward for everyone else while you’re stuck watching from the sidelines. In this episode, we’ll explore how to manage these emotions with self-compassion and how to break free from the comparisons that can drain your joy and sense of worth.
What to Expect in This Episode:Why Back-to-School Season is Emotionally Difficult for Women Who Are Childless After Infertility: We’ll discuss the complex emotions that can arise during this time of year—whether it’s seeing kids with their backpacks heading off to their first day of school or hearing friends share their back-to-school routines. We’ll explore how these reminders can trigger grief and feelings of being left out.
How Comparison Undermines Your Wellbeing: Comparison is a common reaction, especially for women who are childless after infertility. We’ll break down why women in this situation often find themselves comparing their lives to those of women with children, and how this comparison cycle can prevent you from fully embracing your life.
Validating Your Feelings: It’s important to give yourself permission to feel the sadness, anger, or jealousy that can surface during back-to-school season. I’ll share why acknowledging and validating your emotions is essential, and how it can actually be a powerful step toward healing.
Practicing Self-Compassion: We’ll talk about how to be gentle with yourself when feelings of self-judgment creep in. It’s common to think that your life is lacking or that you’re somehow less worthy because you didn’t have children. I’ll offer practical strategies to help you show yourself more kindness and acceptance.
Reframing the Back-to-School Experience: While back-to-school season can be challenging, it’s also an opportunity to shift your focus toward celebrating the unique and fulfilling life you’ve built. We’ll explore how you can create new traditions during this time of year that reflect your growth and achievements—whether or not they involve children.
Why This Episode Matters for Women Who Are Childless After InfertilityIf you’ve gone through infertility treatments and ultimately didn’t have children, back-to-school season can be a particularly emotional time. It can feel like a constant reminder of what you longed for and the life you imagined. Everywhere you turn, there are photos and stories of children going off to school, which can stir up feelings of grief, longing, and exclusion.
But it’s important to remember that you are not alone in these feelings. Many women who are childless not by choice experience these same emotions, and they’re valid. Through this episode, I want to offer you the tools to manage those emotions, so that back-to-school season doesn’t have to feel like a painful reminder of what didn’t happen, but rather a time for self-compassion, reflection, and growth.
Episode Takeaways:Understand why back-to-school season can be emotionally challenging for women who are childless after infertility.
Learn how comparison can undermine your sense of worth and prevent you from fully embracing your life without children.
Discover the importance of validating your emotions and showing yourself compassion during this emotional season.
Get practical tips for reframing your experience of back-to-school season and finding fulfillment in your own unique journey.
If back-to-school season has been tough for you, or if you’ve found yourself feeling triggered by the children and families around you, this episode is here to support you. Tune in to learn how to navigate these difficult emotions with grace and self-compassion, and how to find peace—even when your life looks different than what you once imagined.
Links and Resources:Free Guide - The Top 27 Things People Say When you are Childless (..and how to respond): Get your copy here
Sign up for my FREE coaching class on September 10th: Click here to registerThis class will teach you how to confidently handle the question, “How many kids do you have?” with ease and strength.
Join the conversation: Follow me on Instagram @lana.manikowski to connect with a community of women who understand what you’re going through. Share your story, offer support to others, and let’s lift each other up as we continue to thrive, even after infertility.
Thank you for tuning in to this week’s episode. Your journey is uniquely yours, and it’s my honor to be a part of it. If this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who might need to hear these words.
Remember: You are worthy, you are loved, and your life matters—just as it is.
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Welcome and Personal Update
Vacation Preparation: Lana discusses the anxiety she felt as she prepared for her first vacation since leaving her corporate job, and how this trip is a significant change from her previous work-focused vacations.
Upcoming Free Coaching Class
Free Webinar Announcement: Lana is hosting a free coaching class on September 10th at 6 PM CT. This session is designed to help those who struggle with responding to the question, "Do you have children?"
Registration Details: You can sign up here: Sign Up for the Free Webinar. For those unable to attend live, a replay will be sent to all registered participants.
Today's Topic: Unpacking Anxiousness Around Vacation
Working with a Life Coach: Lana explains how her recent session with her life coach brought up feelings of anxiety related to not working during her vacation. This was the first time she would be traveling without the responsibilities of her former corporate job.
Past Corporate Life: Lana reflects on her time working in the medical field, where she often felt tethered to her job even during vacations. She recounts moments where she would hide in the bathroom to take work calls, illustrating how deeply her identity was tied to her work.
The Link Between Work and Self-Worth
Job as Identity: Lana discusses how, for many women who are childless not by choice, their careers become a major source of validation and worthiness. She shares her own experience of feeling successful and validated through her job, especially after the emotional toll of infertility treatments.
Common Struggles in Life After Infertility: Lana touches on how many women in her Thrive After Infertility Mastermind program face similar challenges—using work as a way to measure success and self-worth, often driven by the label of being a "failed patient" in fertility treatments.
Coaching Insights: Learning to Relax
Feelings Work: During her coaching session, Lana did some “feelings work” to identify where her anxiety was manifesting physically. This exercise helped her realize she had difficulty relaxing and not working on vacation.
Nervousness About Free Time: Lana also uncovered nervousness about spending uninterrupted time with her husband, despite their close relationship and shared love for travel. She questioned whether she knew how to enjoy downtime without the distraction of work.
Reframing Vacation: By the end of her coaching session, Lana decided to allow herself to fully enjoy her vacation without the pressure to work. She prepared her business tasks in advance and planned to focus on reading—a goal aligned with her vision board.
Vision Board and Intentions for Vacation
Choosing Activities Over Work: Lana shares how she selected two books to bring on vacation, aiming to replace any urges to work with reading. She emphasized the importance of aligning her vacation activities with the intentions on her vision board, which included relaxation and quality time with her husband, not working.
Vision Board Inspiration: Lana encourages listeners to revisit her Instagram post from August 7th to see her vision board, which visually represents her goals for relaxation and connection during her vacation.
Final Thoughts and Invitation to Connect
Free Coaching Session Offer: If this resonates with you and you'd like to talk through anything that's been holding you back, I’d love to help. You can schedule a free Thrive Session with me using this link: Schedule a Thrive Session.
Conclusion
Encouragement: Lana closes the episode by acknowledging that none of us need to work during vacation and encourages listeners to embrace relaxation and enjoyment fully.
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Introduction
Welcome back, gorgeous! By the time you listen to this, I’ll be in Turek, Poland, celebrating a family wedding. As excited as I am about this trip, I want to share something equally important with you—how to let go of the disappointment that often follows unsuccessful IVF and infertility treatments. If you’re struggling with feelings of failure or sadness because you couldn’t have children after all your efforts, this episode is for you.
Free Webinar: How to Handle Awkward Questions About KidsBefore we dive in, I want to remind you about a free webinar I’m hosting on September 10th at 6 PM Central Time. This class is designed to help you navigate those awkward and painful moments when someone asks, “Do you have kids?” We’ll discuss how to respond with confidence and self-compassion. If you can’t attend live, you’ll receive a replay—just make sure to register here.
Understanding the Root of Disappointment After IVFIn this episode, we explore how disappointment often stems from self-judgment. When you’ve tried everything to become a mother and it hasn’t worked out, it’s easy to feel like you’ve let yourself and others down. But is this disappointment truly warranted? We’ll discuss how to reframe these feelings and stop allowing them to define your self-worth.
Why Disappointment Feels So OverwhelmingFeeling disappointed in yourself can be exponentially more painful than being disappointed in others. We talk about why these emotions can be so powerful and how they often keep us from trying new things out of fear that we won’t meet our expectations. Learn how to quiet the loud voice of disappointment and take steps toward self-forgiveness.
Creating a New Narrative for YourselfLiving a life of disappointment is not something you signed up for, and it’s certainly not something you deserve. We’ll explore how to create a new narrative—one where you’re not defined by your ability to have children, but by your strength, resilience, and the meaningful life you can still build. This is a crucial part of the work we do in the Thrive After Infertility Mastermind.
Letting Go of Perfectionism and Embracing AcceptanceMany women who undergo fertility treatments are high achievers, accustomed to setting goals and reaching them. When motherhood isn’t one of those achievements, it’s easy to feel like a failure. In this episode, I discuss how to let go of the perfectionism that might be holding you back and embrace acceptance and self-compassion instead.
Personal Stories of Disappointment and HealingI share my own journey with disappointment—how I felt like I let down my family, my husband’s family, and myself. We’ll talk about the healing power of realizing that you are not a disappointment and that it’s okay to let go of these negative emotions.
Schedule a Free Thrive SessionIf this episode resonates with you and you feel stuck in your journey, I’m here to help. You can schedule a free Thrive Session with me to talk through the things that are holding you back and start working towards a more fulfilled and joyful life. Book your session here.
Get Your Free Resource: 27 Things People Say When You're Childless and How to RespondFinally, I’ve created a resource that I think you’ll find invaluable—27 Things People Say When You’re Childless and How to Respond. It’s free and available here!
Thank you for listening! Remember, it’s never too late to discover your meaning, and you are not defined by your ability to have children. Have a beautiful week, and I’ll catch up with you from Italy next time!
Sign Up for the Free Webinar: Register Here
Connect with Me: https://lana-manikowski.myflodesk.com/webinar
Instagram: @LanaManikowski
YouTube: Lana Manikowski
Free Download: The Top 27 Things People Say When You are Childless
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Hey there, lovely listeners! Did you know I have a YouTube channel? Yes, I do! You can watch the video version of this podcast, including some fun outtakes, on my YouTube channel at Lana Manikowski on YouTube.
This week, I want to share something that hit me deeply: the parallels between the journey of Olympic athletes and women who undergo fertility treatments. Watching a recent track and field event, I couldn't help but notice how much their experiences resemble ours. Let's dive into it.
The Journey of PreparationBoth Olympic athletes and women undergoing fertility treatments spend years preparing for a single dream. Athletes dedicate themselves to grueling training regimens, strict diets, and countless sacrifices. Similarly, you might have faced numerous medical procedures, hormonal treatments, and financial burdens, all with the hope of becoming a mom.
Facing DisappointmentDespite all the preparation, not all athletes win a medal. Similarly, many women complete their fertility journey without becoming a mom. The emotional toll, the physical exhaustion, and the financial strain can be overwhelming. But both journeys are marked by an incredible amount of perseverance and strength.
The Role of Support SystemsAthletes rely on coaches, teammates, and family for support. For those of us going through fertility treatments, the support system might include partners, doctors, nurses, or online communities. Sadly, not everyone has access to a robust support system, making the journey even more challenging.
Psychological StrengthThe mental resilience required to face setbacks, whether it's an athlete missing a medal or a woman navigating failed fertility treatments, is immense. The emotional highs and lows, the waiting, the uncertainty—it all takes a toll. But remember, it's okay to grieve, to feel lost, and to seek support.
Moving ForwardJust as Olympic athletes find new paths after their sports careers, women who conclude their fertility journey without becoming moms can find new meanings and joys in life. It's not about giving up; it's about finding a different path that brings fulfillment and happiness.
Join Thrive After InfertilityIf you're ready to move forward and thrive, my program "Thrive After Infertility" might be just what you need. The next class starts on October 1st. Let's work together to ensure you don't carry the burden of not becoming a mom forever. You can find more details on my website.
Free ResourceBefore you go, I want to share a fantastic resource I created: "The Top 27 Things People Say When You're Childless...and How to Respond." You can download it for free on my website. It's a great tool to help you navigate those sometimes uncomfortable conversations.
ConclusionThank you for joining me this week. Remember, it's never too late to discover your meaning and find joy in your life. I'll be checking in from Poland next week. Until then, I love you and I'm here for you.
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Hey there! It's been quite a week in the media, and I felt compelled to address some comments circulating about childless women being miserable. As someone who deeply values integrity, especially in my role as a life coach supporting women crafting fulfilling lives without children, I want to make it clear: this isn't about politics, and it never will be. My goal here is to provide a space where all women, regardless of political affiliation, can feel supported and understood.
This week's episode is a response to the myth that women who are childless are inherently unhappy. As someone who once immersed myself in politics, even working in Washington, D.C., I understand the power of narratives. But as I shifted my focus to life coaching, I chose to step back from the constant news cycle, focusing instead on creating a positive and supportive environment.
I rarely watch the news now, and some might say I live in a bubble. To that, I say, yes, I do—and I value the peace it brings me. It's important to me to curate my environment, choosing what influences I allow in. While I care deeply about the future, my energy is better spent fostering a supportive community for women like us—women who are childless, not by choice, but because of infertility.
The idea that childless women are miserable is a damaging stereotype rooted in outdated societal expectations. It suggests that a woman's worth and happiness are tied solely to her ability to have children. But this couldn't be further from the truth. Many women, whether by choice or circumstance, lead rich, fulfilling lives filled with purpose and joy. That's the message I share weekly on this podcast.
Experiencing childlessness, especially after infertility, can indeed bring moments of deep sadness or even misery. These feelings are valid and normal. It's essential to acknowledge them without self-judgment. Remember, it's okay to have days that aren't filled with joy. This doesn't mean you're failing or destined for a life of unhappiness. It simply means you're human.
Fulfillment doesn't come from one single source, like motherhood. It's found in relationships, hobbies, careers, personal growth, and so many other areas. Happiness and purpose are not linear; they come from a diverse range of experiences. We are multifaceted beings, capable of finding joy and meaning in various aspects of our lives.
If you're feeling stuck in sadness or finding it hard to move past these negative feelings, now might be the time to explore new communities and support systems. Whether it's through a local group, social media, or programs like my "Thrive After Infertility Mastermind," connecting with others can be a powerful way to rediscover joy and purpose.
To those who believe that childless women are miserable, we can't change everyone's mind. But we can change how we see ourselves. It's about proving to ourselves that we can create and enjoy a fulfilling life. If you're feeling down or questioning your worth, remember that you're deserving of happiness and fulfillment, just like anyone else.
Life is full of ups and downs, and that's okay. It's about embracing the full spectrum of emotions and not judging ourselves for feeling anything less than perfect. Happiness and sadness can coexist, and that's what makes our journey authentic and meaningful.
As you navigate these challenging emotions, remember that you're not alone. It's never too late to find meaning and create a life you love. I hope you have a beautiful week, filled with moments that remind you of your worth and potential. I love you all, and I can't wait to connect with you again next week. Take care!
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On this episode, we're diving into a topic that often gets overlooked: embracing abundance after infertility. It's something many of us struggle with because we rarely see examples of women thriving in a life that doesn't include motherhood. That's precisely what inspired me to start this podcast — to fill that gap and provide a space where we can explore where these communities exist, how to navigate difficult interactions with those who don't understand, and finding acceptance and peace on our unique paths.
I remember vividly the moment my reproductive endocrinologist gently recommended against further IVF cycles. It was like a ton of bricks crashing down, leaving me unsure of what lay ahead. Deciding not to pursue adoption or egg donation wasn't easy either. I wasn't prepared to just bounce back; healing takes time, and it's okay to sit with those emotions.
If you're feeling lost in this journey right now, please know you're not alone. There's no timeline for healing, no one-size-fits-all approach. But when you're ready to take that next step toward reclaiming your life and finding joy again, that's what today's episode is all about.
Navigating conversations where people offer well-meaning but insensitive remarks can be challenging. "Just relax, it'll happen," or "You can always adopt," aren't always helpful. It's important to assert our boundaries and share our stories authentically. You deserve to be heard and respected in your journey.
Finding supportive communities is crucial. While social media can be a lifeline, it's also important to curate your feed mindfully. Surround yourself with voices that uplift and inspire you. Consider joining support groups or programs like Thrive after Infertility, where you not only find connection but also actionable steps to shape a life you love.
Creating or joining local meetups can also be incredibly fulfilling. I started one myself, and it's grown into a vibrant community of women celebrating life beyond motherhood. It's about finding spaces where you can be yourself, where you don't have to explain or justify your path.
As you embark on this journey of rediscovery, think about who you want to be six months from now. Take small steps toward that vision, whether it's engaging more deeply with supportive communities or setting boundaries on social media. Your journey is unique, and your path forward is yours to define.
If you're looking for practical tips on handling insensitive comments or starting conversations about your journey, check out this free resource I created just for you. It's call The Top 27 Things People Say When you Are Childless...and How to Respond.
Remember, it's never too late to redefine what brings meaning to your life. Thank you for being here with me today. I cherish our time together and look forward to connecting again next week.
Until then, take care of yourself and know that you're not alone on this journey. You are seen, you are heard, and your story matters. Here's to embracing the abundance that awaits us all.
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Discovering Your Purpose After Infertility
Welcome back to another episode! I'm thrilled you're joining me on this journey through life, where sometimes navigating can be challenging. Today, I want to open your mind to a new perspective on purpose.
Navigating Conversations About Childlessness: I've just launched a valuable resource for those struggling with discussing childlessness. If you've faced unwanted opinions or advice, visit Instagram (@Lana.Manikowski) or email me at [email protected] to access this resource.
Rethinking Purpose: Let's dive into the concept of purpose. We're often told it's this elusive, singular thing we must find. But frankly, I call BS on that idea. Society often links purpose with motherhood, leaving many of us who are unexpectedly childless feeling adrift.
My Unique Perspective on Purpose: Through my work and personal journey, I've come to redefine purpose. It's not a single mission statement but a fluid, personal connection to oneself. Purpose isn't about selecting one grand thing; it's about living deliberately and authentically.
Thrive After Infertility Mastermind: Launching October 1st, Thrive After Infertility offers a supportive community to explore and define your unique path forward. It's not just about finding purpose; it's about embracing a life you love, despite its unexpected turns.
Creating Purpose in Everyday Moments: Purpose isn't confined to one monumental achievement. It's found in everyday actions—how we connect with others, contribute at work, or nurture relationships. Living purposefully is about finding joy and connection in the present moment.
Inspiration from Unexpected Sources: Reflecting on my music teacher's funeral, I saw firsthand how one person can embody different purposes for different people. Her impact on my life wasn't about motherhood but about nurturing confidence through music education.
Joining Thrive After Infertility: If you're resonating with this journey of self-discovery and purpose beyond motherhood, consider joining our 12-week program. It's designed to empower you to build a life you're proud of, free from the burden of societal expectations.
My Commitment to You: I became a certified life coach to support women navigating life after infertility. Thrive isn't about replicating my life; it's about helping you craft a life that resonates with your values and aspirations.
Embrace Your Unique Journey: Remember, your purpose isn't limited by one experience or identity. By reconnecting with yourself and living authentically, you'll discover a life filled with meaning and impact.
Closing Thoughts: As we wrap up, I want to remind you—it's never too late to uncover your purpose and embrace your unique journey. Wishing you a beautiful week ahead, filled with self-discovery and meaningful connections.
Join me next week as we continue this empowering conversation. Remember, your journey matters, and your purpose is waiting to be discovered.
I look forward to our next chat!
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Welcome back to another episode of The "So Now What?" Podcast. I'm Lana Manikowski, and I'm thrilled you're joining me today. As we dive into the heart of summer here in the US, with July 4th Independence Day celebrations just around the corner, it feels fitting to talk about a different kind of independence—personal independence, especially for those of us navigating life after infertility.
Reclaiming Independence Post-Infertility
After enduring years of fertility treatments, the constant start and stop, and the endless cycle of uncertainty, finding independence can feel daunting. This week, I want to explore ways you can reclaim your sense of independence and make decisions that empower you.
Exciting New Resource Coming Soon!
I'm thrilled to announce a new resource designed specifically for women who have faced relentless questions about their motherhood status. This free resource will help you navigate those difficult conversations with confidence. If you're interested, reach out to me on Instagram at @lana.manikowski and send me a DM. I'll add you to the waitlist and ensure you get early access!
My Personal Journey to Independence
This week is particularly special for me as I transition out of Corporate America. After working since I was 14 and always relying on an employer's paycheck, I'm stepping into a new chapter. On July 8th, I'll be dedicating myself full-time to my coaching practice, leaving behind a successful corporate career.
Since 2021, alongside my demanding corporate job, I've been nurturing my life coaching practice. Completing my life coach and grief certifications has equipped me with the tools to support women like you and me—women who are unexpectedly childless and striving to find fulfillment.
Believing in Yourself
Often, we think we need someone else's approval or a perfect plan to pursue our dreams. But I'm here to challenge that belief. You have the power to make decisions for yourself and create the life you've dreamed of. Even without a clear roadmap, you can take steps towards your goals.
Action Steps to Embrace Independence
1. Identify Your Dreams: Think about what you've been wanting to pursue—whether it's a new hobby, education, or career change.
2. Trust Your Instincts: Believe in your innate ability to make decisions and create change.
3. Start Small: Begin by writing down your ideas and evaluating them. You don't need external validation—your inner voice is powerful enough.
A New Chapter
As I close this chapter of my corporate life, I reflect on the purpose it provided during my infertility journey. My career gave me meaning and allowed me to thrive during a challenging time. Now, I'm proud to embrace this new independence and dedicate myself fully to helping women create lives they love.
Connect with Me
I hope this episode inspires you to embrace your independence. Remember, it's never too late to discover your meaning.
Follow me on Instagram at @lana.manikowski or on YouTube at lana.manikowski and reach out if you want to be part of this journey.
Subscribe & Review
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review. Your feedback helps me reach more women who can benefit from these conversations.
Stay Tuned
Join me next week for more insights and encouragement on living a fulfilling life after infertility.
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Feeling Like a Failure After IVF Fails
Introduction: Welcome back to another heartfelt episode of Thrive After Infertility. I'm Lana, and this week, we are rolling up our sleeves and diving deep into what it means to feel like a failure, especially after the challenging journey of IVF and fertility treatments. This episode is for all the incredible women out there who have struggled with these feelings and are ready to redefine their stories.
Key Points Covered:
Understanding the Fear of Failure:
The fear of failure often starts at a young age, influenced by family and cultural norms.
Many of us have been taught to hide our struggles and present a picture-perfect life.
Navigating Infertility and IVF:
Personal reflections on the pressure to do everything "right" during fertility treatments.
The emotional toll of feeling like you're not good enough as a fertility patient.
Changing the Narrative:
The impact of being labeled as a "failed" IVF patient and how that affects self-perception.
The empowering shift from viewing oneself as a failure to seeing IVF treatments as the ones that failed.
Personal Growth and Life Coaching:
How becoming a Certified Life Coach helped me change my perspective on failure.
The importance of deciding how to relate to the word "failure" and choosing a narrative that empowers you.
Introducing the Thrive After Infertility Mastermind:
Exciting news about the upcoming Thrive 2.0 program, designed to help women find fulfillment and thrive after infertility.
Details on how to join and the benefits of being part of this transformative community.
Special Announcement: I'm thrilled to announce a new resource for those of you on my mailing list, all about handling the things people say and how to respond to them in empowering ways. This unique resource is created especially for you, so be sure to follow me on social media and sign up to get access.
Closing Thoughts: Remember, you are not a failure. You are a beautiful, courageous soul who has shown immense strength and resilience. Let's redefine what it means to thrive and embrace a life full of meaning and fulfillment, even without the children we dreamed of.
Thank you for joining me this week. I love you all, and remember, it's never too late to discover your true meaning.
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Episode Summary
This week marks my 15th wedding anniversary, a significant milestone that feels both like yesterday and a lifetime ago. Reflecting on our journey, I've decided to discuss marriage and relationships when you find yourself unexpectedly childless. In this episode, I'll uncover the top 10 misconceptions about childless marriages, shedding light on the unique challenges and bias we experience when we eave fertility treatments without a child.
Key Points DiscussedLack of Fulfillment
Debunking the myth that true happiness and purpose in a relationship only come from raising children.
Selfishness
Addressing the misconception that childless couples prioritize personal desires over responsibilities.
Incompleteness
Challenging the belief that a marriage is incomplete without children.
Loneliness in Old Age
Confronting fears about being lonely and unsupported in old age without children.
Lack of Family Bonding
Explaining how childless couples create their own meaningful traditions and bonds.
Temporary Decision
Discussing the notion that being childless is just a temporary phase.
Regret
Exploring the assumption that childless couples will inevitably regret their decision.
Marital Problems
Debunking the myth that childlessness indicates or causes marital issues.
Social Isolation
Addressing the belief that childless couples are socially isolated.
Biological or Medical Issues
Clarifying misconceptions about the reasons behind childlessness after infertility.
Thrive After Infertility MastermindIn my Thrive After Infertility Mastermind, we focus on relationships, of of 3 crucial pillars in the program which is often overlooked for those navigating life without children. Whether it's with your spouse, friends, family, or coworkers, Thrive offers support and tools to help you create a life you love without the children you thought you were going to have. I'm excited to announce the next launch of the Thrive After Infertility Mastermind in October, which includes advanced tools and support from my certification in grief coaching.
Conclusion
As Jack and I celebrate our 15th anniversary, we've learned that a fulfilling, meaningful marriage is possible even without the children we once envisioned. If you're feeling stuck or wondering about the future of your marriage, remember that there is no right or wrong path. Whether you stay together or part ways, it's essential to find what works best for you and your partner.
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Hello, lovely listeners! I'm so glad you're joining me today. If you haven't already, I invite you to subscribe to my YouTube channel, Lana.Manikowski. Look for my profile picture with a yellow shirt—if you see me in a red shirt, that's an old channel I no longer update. Subscribe to stay connected and catch some funny outtakes that don't make it to the podcast.
Why Your Reviews Matter
Before we dive into today's topic, I want to thank everyone who rated and reviewed the podcast last week. Your $5 Starbucks gift card is on its way! If you haven't yet, please rate and review on your preferred platform. Your feedback not only helps me understand how the podcast impacts you, but it also boosts our visibility. This way, more women who are searching for ways to create a fulfilling life after infertility can find us and join our community.
Advanced Certification in Grief and Post-Traumatic Growth
Did you know I have an advanced certification in grief and post-traumatic growth? It's something I don't mention often, but it’s a significant part of my journey and my coaching. When I realized my infertility journey wouldn't end with a child, I felt immense grief. But society often overlooks the grief of those who lose a dream rather than something tangible. This certification helps me guide you through that nuanced grief and find post-traumatic growth.
The Power of "And"
Today's episode focuses on one of the most powerful words in navigating grief and creating a fulfilling life: "and." It's a simple three-letter word, but it opens up a world of emotional possibilities. Society often presents emotions as binary—either you're sad, or you're grateful. But why can't we be both? Why can't we be sad about not becoming mothers and also grateful for other aspects of our lives?
Breaking Free from False Binaries
I remember hearing that you can either be sad about not having children or grateful that you don't have to raise them in today’s world. But this binary thinking isn't helpful. You can be both. Grief is nuanced, and so are human emotions. It's perfectly okay to feel multiple emotions at once. For example, you can have a great day at work and cry when you receive a baby shower invitation. Both feelings are valid and can coexist.
Embracing All Emotions
Trying to force ourselves into constant gratitude or happiness suppresses other valid emotions like sadness or anger, which can resurface even stronger. Instead, allow yourself to feel everything. Replace "but" with "and." You can be proud of yourself and feel anger. You can feel lost without motherhood and discover strengths you never knew you had.
Ditching Toxic Positivity
We often think we need to be grateful 24/7 to love our lives, but that’s not true. You don't have to be grateful for every difficult aspect of your infertility journey to love your life. Embrace the "and." Love your life and acknowledge the tough parts of your journey. Both can exist together.
Actionable Insight: Using "And" in Your Life
Next time you catch yourself thinking in binaries, try to use "and" instead. Notice how it opens up space for all your emotions and makes life feel more manageable and authentic.
Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear how you plan to incorporate "and" into your daily life. Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments or on social media. Let’s support each other in embracing our full emotional selves.
Thank you for listening, and remember, you are a beautiful human navigating this path of life. Until next time, take care and be kind to yourself.
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Welcome back to another week of The “So Now What?” Podcast! I’m so grateful you're here with me. As we welcome June, it's the perfect time to reflect on the goals and dreams we set for ourselves at the start of the year. Maybe you’re reassessing some plans or realizing that some things didn’t pan out as easily as you hoped. Remember, it's never too late to recalibrate and adjust your path.
Episode Highlights:Reflect and Recalibrate: With nearly half the year behind us, it’s a great moment to reevaluate our goals. What were your intentions at the beginning of 2024? What’s working, and what’s not? It’s okay to pivot and refocus your energy on what truly matters to you.
The Power of Ratings and Reviews: I need your help! Your feedback is crucial for reaching more women navigating the unexpected journey of childlessness after infertility. Please rate and review The “So Now What?” Podcast on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. Send me a screenshot, and I’ll send you a $5 Starbucks gift card as a thank you.
Shame vs. Self-Love: This week, we discuss the harmful habit of shaming ourselves into action. Have you ever felt pressured to do something just to meet others' expectations? Let’s shift that narrative. It’s time to embrace self-love and motivation from a place of joy and curiosity.
Envision Your Future Self: Picture the person you want to become. What does she look like? What brings her joy? Write down these visions and start embodying those feelings today. You don’t have to wait until you’ve achieved all your goals to love yourself.
Compassionate Self-Talk: Engage in kind, supportive conversations with yourself. When you miss a goal, instead of judgment, offer understanding and encouragement, just as you would to a dear friend.
Takeaways for This Week:Reevaluate Your Goals: Take stock of what you planned for this year and see if it aligns with your current path. Don’t be afraid to weed out what no longer serves you.
Rate and Review the Podcast: Help us reach more women who need support by leaving a review. Your feedback can make a big difference.
Shift from Shame to Support: Recognize the areas where you might be shaming yourself and consciously replace that with positive reinforcement.
Love Your Future Self Today: Visualize the joyful, fulfilled person you aim to become and start living with that mindset now.
Engage in Positive Self-Talk: When challenges arise, treat yourself with the same compassion and encouragement you would offer a friend.
I want all women who are childless after infertility to know they can love themselves and create fulfilling lives. If you need more personalized support, I’m here to help. Let’s discover together how you can create a life you love.
Have a beautiful week, and remember, it’s never too late to discover your meaning.
Connect with Me:Website: www.lanamanikowski.com
Instagram: @lana.manikowski
Email: [email protected]
Don’t forget to share this episode with friends who might benefit from it. Your support helps us grow and reach more women who need this community. Thank you for being here!
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Introduction:
Hello, beautiful souls! It's Lana Manikowski and I'm thrilled to share some major life updates and inspiring insights with you today. This episode is dedicated to all the incredible women who are not sure what to expect of your life childless after infertility and IVF. It's a journey filled with unexpected turns, but together, we can find joy and purpose beyond what we initially envisioned.
Big Announcement:
I have some exciting news to share—I recently resigned from my corporate job to fully dedicate myself to my coaching practice and advocacy work. This decision wasn't made lightly, but it felt necessary to truly serve our community and make a real difference. By leaving my job in early July, I plan to create more resources and support for women like us.
The Journey to This Decision:
For years, I balanced a demanding career while also trying to grow my coaching practice. However, after speaking with hundreds of women in our community, it became clear that there's a significant gap in post-treatment support for those who leave fertility treatments childless. Many of us feel abandoned and without direction once treatments end, which is why I’m determined to be part of the solution.
Why This Matters:
Living childless after infertility is not something we planned for. The lack of support and follow-up from fertility clinics only adds to the feeling of being lost. I've chosen to channel my energy into advocacy and support, creating a space where we can find our way together and redefine our lives with new expectations.
Previous Episode Shoutout:
Before diving deeper into today’s topic, if you haven’t yet, make sure to listen to Episode 126. It’s all about dealing with birthdays after infertility—a time that can often feel heavy when life hasn't turned out as planned. It’s a must-listen if you’re struggling to find joy in celebrating another year.
Main Discussion: Redefining Expectations:
Today, I want to talk about expectations—specifically, the expectations we set for ourselves. From childhood, we have ingrained expectations about our lives, but when faced with unexpected outcomes like living childless, it can feel like we’ve lost our North Star.
Here’s what we’ll explore:
Understanding Expectations: Reflecting on the expectations we had and how they change when life doesn’t go as planned.
Setting New Expectations: How to create meaningful and achievable expectations for ourselves in this new chapter.
Handling Conversations: Strategies for managing conversations about infertility and childlessness, and setting expectations for how we engage with others.
Future Goals: Envisioning and working towards a future that feels fulfilling and joyful, even if it looks different from what we once imagined.
Personal Insights:
I share my personal journey, from feeling like a deer in headlights after my treatments ended, to discovering that life can indeed be fulfilling without children. It's about having the expectation that things can get better, and believing that we deserve happiness and freedom.
Empowering Yourself:
You deserve more than just acceptance of your circumstances—you deserve to thrive. It’s about shifting from a mindset of limitations to one of possibilities. Let’s work together to set expectations that bring joy, purpose, and lightness to our lives.
Conclusion:
Thank you for joining me in this transformative journey. Remember, you are deserving of happiness and fulfillment, and together, we can navigate this unexpected path with grace and strength. Stay tuned for more resources, discussions, and support as we continue to build this incredible community.
Call to Action:
Listen to Episode 126 if you haven’t already.
Reflect on your current expectations and consider how they might be reshaped to better serve your journey.
Share your thoughts and experiences with me on social media or in our community forum.
Until next time, know that you can embrace the unexpected and live your life to the fullest. I am here to help!
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In this episode, we explore the intricate emotions surrounding birthdays if you are childless after infertility. Inspired by recent gatherings celebrating The Other’s Day Brunch, I highlight the complexities of navigating birthdays and offer insights on how to approach them with strength and hope.
Celebrating The Other’s Day Brunch:
Reflecting on recent events likeThe Other’s Day Brunch in Chicago and an ambassador-hosted event in Seattle, I acknowledge the increasing awareness of the challenges faced by women who are childless not by choice. These gatherings provide a supportive environment for sharing stories and finding solace amidst shared experiences and I am thrilled with the media attention given to this celebration and the awareness that was built about the complexities Mother’s Day offers so many women.
The Birthday Reflection:
Yesterday I celebrated my 50th birthday, and shared my candid journey of grappling with the anticipation of another year passing. This week I explore common sentiments felt by women facing infertility, such as questioning accomplishments, feeling the weight of time passing, and envisioning a future without motherhood.
Finding Meaning Beyond Motherhood:
The narrative shifts to empowering you to redefine your identity and aspirations beyond traditional expectations of motherhood. Despite the absence of children, there are numerous opportunities to pursue fulfillment and purpose.
Embracing Change and Self-Compassion:
Acknowledging the fear of failure and uncertainty, I encourage listeners to embrace change with self-compassion. By reframing narratives of disappointment and embracing vulnerability, individuals can cultivate inner strength and create new paths filled with meaning and joy.
Crafting Your Future:
I am urging you to reflect on their achievements and aspirations, regardless of societal pressures. By setting intentions and embracing personal growth, individuals can reclaim agency over their narratives and envision a future filled with possibilities.
A Letter to Yourself:
A poignant suggestion is made to write a birthday letter to yourself, celebrating your journey and path through infertility. This practice fosters self-appreciation and serves as a reminder of one's inherent worth and meaning.
Conclusion:
As the host extends birthday wishes to herself, she emphasizes the transformative power of self-love and inner strength. I encourage you to revisit this episode whenever you need encouragement and to remember that your life and your journey is worthy of celebration. Always.
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When you're childless after infertilityMother's Day can be a challenge. It's a time that can feel heavy with reminders and emotions, but fear not, I'm here to walk you through it with care and compassion.
Finding Peace Amidst the Mother's Day Buzz:Acknowledge Your Feelings: It's okay to feel a mix of emotions during this time. Whether it's sadness, anger, or even ambivalence, give yourself permission to feel what you feel without judgment.
Create Boundaries: Opt out of Mother's Day-related emails and social media if they're triggering for you. Your mental health comes first, and setting boundaries is an act of self-love.
Crafting Your Own Meaningful Mother's Day:Plan Your Day: Take control of how you spend Mother's Day. Whether it's hosting a gathering, indulging in self-care, or simply taking a quiet moment for reflection, prioritize activities that bring you peace and joy.
Write Yourself a Letter: Channel your inner Hallmark and write yourself a heartfelt Mother's Day card. Celebrate the qualities that make you proud, and affirm your worthiness of love and recognition.
Cultivating Gratitude and Connection:Express Appreciation: Reach out to the people in your life who've supported you on your journey. Let them know how much their presence means to you, and express gratitude for their love and understanding.
Remembering Your Worth Beyond Motherhood:Reflect on Your Significance: Take time to reflect on the meaningful contributions you make to the world, regardless of your parental status. Your worth is not defined by motherhood, but by the unique essence of who you are.
As you navigate Mother's Day, know that you're not alone. Your journey is valid, and your feelings are heard and honored. Take this time to care for yourself, to acknowledge your strength, and to embrace the beauty of your unique path. You are worthy of love, celebration, and belonging, today and every day.
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This week we are tapping into the concept of welcoming in happiness as you are navigating life after infertility and a new norm without the children you thought you were supposed to have. Discover practical tips and heartfelt insights on finding joy, embracing gratitude, and celebrating the beauty in everyday moments.
In today's episode, I expand on episode 123, diving into the concept of happiness is not a destination but a journey, especially for those who are childless not by choice. If you missed last week's episode, I encourage you to catch up as we dive deeper into this topic.
As Mother's Day approaches, I invite listeners to consider self-care and connection, highlighting the importance of support for those who may find this holiday challenging. Reflecting on the purpose behind The Other’s Day Brunch in Chicago, I emphasize the power of seeking connection and support, especially during times that may trigger feelings of sadness or heaviness. Join us this year in Chicago and help us create a supportive community where all experiences are valued and celebrated.
In today's discussion, I address the misconception that happiness is your consolation prize for not becoming a mother. Through personal anecdotes and reflections, I encourage you to embrace the joys and beauties present in their lives, without comparison to motherhood or societal expectations.
As the episode progresses, I guide you through practical strategies for cultivating happiness and gratitude in everyday life. By acknowledging the beauty in small moments and celebrating personal achievements, we can create a more fulfilling and joyful journey, regardless of our path to motherhood.
Let's talk about embracing happiness beyond traditional notions, finding strength in the experiences you are having, and recognizing the abundance of beauty that surrounds us. Thank you for tuning in to today's episode of The “So Now What?” Podcast. Remember, happiness is not a destination but a journey filled with moments of joy and gratitude. Embrace the beauty of your life, celebrate your victories, and cherish the happiness that surrounds you.
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As we usher in a new month, I welcome you to pause and reflect on your path. What are you choosing to focus on this month? Remember, there are no boundaries to the richness your life can attain, even when the dream of motherhood didn’t happen for you.
But before we dive into the core of today's discussion on happiness, remember to get your tickets for The Others' Day Brunch. Scheduled for May 11th in Chicago, this event promises camaraderie and support as we navigate the complex emotions entwined with Mother's Day.
Now, let's unravel the essence of happiness and the expectations you have put on yourself to find happiness after your infertility journey left you childless. In Episode 123, I unravel the myth that happiness is a destination and not a journey. Being happy is shoved down our thoughts and when you find yourself unhappy - you’ve been conditioned to believe you’re doing something all wrong.. This week I confront the fallacy of "toxic positivity," urging you to embrace the tapestry of your emotions.
Drawing from my journey toward certification in grief and post-traumatic grief, I illuminate the significance of acknowledging and honoring all emotional facets, even those that defy society's expectation of perpetual happiness.
On a side note - I am looking for volunteers that will do practice coaching with me. Part of my certification requires me to meet a certain number of hours coaching on grief, so if you are willing to hop on a 30 minute call with me to coach on any topic you are feeling grief around, please send me a DM.
Happiness isn't confined to societal norms or the façade of perfection. It resides in the small, everyday moments—the laughter shared with a friend, the warmth of a pet's companionship. Grant yourself the spaciousness to experience the full spectrum of emotions without judgment for how you are feeling.
In my eyes, the pursuit of happiness shouldn't overshadow the intricate tapestry of life's complexities. Embrace your journey, embrace yourself, and know that happiness, in its myriad forms, is always within reach.
Join me next week as we continue to navigate life's labyrinthine twists and turns, with a reminder that it's never too late to unearth your purpose. Until then, cherish the moments, embrace the journey, and find solace in the knowledge that you are never alone.
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This week we wrap up our discussion on body image, particularly for those navigating life post-fertility treatments. As you reflect on your own journey, consider this:
What beliefs do you hold about your body?
I share personal insights and encourage you to redefine your body image positively.
But before we dive in, I reflect on a heartwarming weekend with loved ones, emphasizing the importance of nurturing connections, especially with the younger generation. It's a reminder that bonds transcend traditional roles, echoing the theme of self-compassion and connection discussed in today's episode.
Throughout the episode, I challenge common narratives surrounding body image after fertility struggles. I am highlighting the impact of self-talk and invites you to reconsider ingrained beliefs about your body's purpose and capabilities.You're encouraged to shift from viewing your body as a source of disappointment to one deserving of love and appreciation.
I will also prompt you to envision a future where self-acceptance replaces self-criticism, paving the way for healing and empowerment. As you listen, consider the small steps you can take towards fostering a healthier body image. Whether it's acknowledging your body's resilience or practicing self-forgiveness, every effort contributes to a more positive self-perception.
I am also extending an invitation to The Other's Day Brunch, a gathering dedicated to celebrating connections and community. Don't miss out on this opportunity to connect with like-minded individuals and embrace a supportive environment.
So, as you reflect on today's episode, remember: Your journey towards self-love begins with a decision to redefine your body image and prioritize self-compassion. And if you're considering attending The Other's Day Brunch, seize the opportunity to connect and celebrate your journey with others who understand and support you.
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