Episodes
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The Agony Aunties are here to help you tackle the highs and lows of the festive season! In this episode, they share practical advice on managing Christmas stress, from handling family tensions to dealing with financial pressures and sky-high expectations. They talk about the power of setting boundaries, planning much-needed time-outs, and having open conversations about presents and plans to ease the strain.
The Aunties also highlight the importance of self-care and protecting your mental health during this busy time. With tips like envisioning positive interactions and staying flexible with family traditions, they offer realistic ways to keep the season joyful. Don’t forget—you can check out past AA episodes for even more guidance on navigating holiday challenges!
If you're looking for more support this Christmas, please find one of our older episodes about navigating Christmas stress here: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/bonus-a-guide-to-navigating-christmas/id1646616622?i=1000639395275
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In this expert episode, clinical psychologist Dr. Claire Plumbly, the author of Burnout: How to Manage Your Nervous System Before It Manages You, delves into the complexities of the autonomic nervous system and explores how it plays a critical role in managing stress and trauma. Using the polyvagal theory by Stephen Porges, she explains how the nervous system is impacted by these experiences and offers practical tools for prevention and healing.
The conversation also focuses on key strategies for managing burnout, particularly during emotionally charged times such as the Christmas season. Dr. Plumbly highlights the significance of self-compassion and compassion for others, offering actionable techniques to regulate emotions, navigate grief and loss, and approach family conflicts with understanding. This episode provides valuable psychoeducation and advice, empowering listeners to maintain their mental and physical well-being during the holiday season and beyond.
Read Claire's book: https://www.drclaireplumbly.com/burnout-book
Claire's website: https://www.drclaireplumbly.com/
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Missing episodes?
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In this episode, the Agony Aunties respond to a listener grappling with self-esteem and confidence as they navigate the changes that come with ageing. They share candid reflections on their own experiences, including the challenges of feeling less visible and the impact this can have on self-worth. The discussion explores how ageing can be both a loss and an opportunity to cultivate new strengths, roles, and sources of confidence.
The conversation highlights the importance of embracing body positivity, redefining personal power in later years, and finding joy in the wisdom and resilience that come with age. With empathy and insight, the Agony Aunties offer practical advice on how to balance the grief of lost youth with the cultivation of new possibilities, reminding listeners of the value in supporting one another through life’s transitions.
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In this episode, Miranda Hart opens up about living with chronic illness and the profound life changes it brought. She shares how a long-term, debilitating condition led her into solitude, challenging her to reassess her identity beyond societal expectations. Miranda reflects on her evolving relationship with vulnerability—once misunderstood as a performance but now embraced as a path to self-awareness and emotional growth. She delves into the cultural and personal challenges of admitting needs and setting boundaries, shaped by her upbringing and career demands, and how she found strength through self-compassion and authenticity.
Miranda discusses insights from her book, I Haven’t Been Entirely Honest with You, which captures her path toward joy, connection, and a more meaningful life. Together, they unpack the healing power of understanding our needs, seeking help, and embracing vulnerability as a foundation for personal growth. This is an inspiring episode for anyone navigating challenges and seeking a deeper connection with themselves.
Buy Miranda's Book: https://amzn.eu/d/fpMrzng
Follow Miranda: @realmirandahart
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In this episode, we respond to a listener’s heartfelt question about why dating feels so difficult, especially in the world of apps. Together, the Agony Aunties explore the emotional challenges of modern dating—the repetitive swiping, the emotional labour involved, and the way dating platforms are designed to keep users engaged rather than help them find lasting connections.
Emily shares her own experiences with loneliness and offers advice on embracing being single, focusing on self-worth and finding joy within. We also discuss the concept of 'active hope'—taking small, proactive steps to build resilience and personal happiness, regardless of relationship status. Finally, Sophie reflects on the reality that even in relationships, new challenges emerge, proving that every stage of life has its complexities. This episode is a reminder that while dating can be tough, focusing on your own well-being can make all the difference.
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In this episode, Mimi opens up about the sudden loss of her mother at the age of 27. As an only child living in New York and emotionally distant from her family, Mimi’s world was upended when her mother, while visiting family in Stockholm, suffered a fatal heart attack. This devastating event forced Mimi to re-evaluate her priorities and self-identity, leading her to move back to London to live with her father.
Mimi reflects on her regrets about not spending more time with her mother, the cultural differences that shaped her family dynamics, and her ongoing journey toward self-compassion and emotional growth. She shares how this experience has brought her closer to her father and allowed her to find a deeper connection to her late mother. Throughout the conversation, Mimi emphasises the importance of living authentically, connecting with one’s roots, and finding strength in empathy and community support while navigating grief.
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In this heartfelt episode, the Agony Aunties respond to a listener navigating a complex family dynamic. The listener shares their story of a nine-year relationship filled with love and joy alongside their three-year-old son, but also the weight of familial troubles. From addiction to parental separation and childhood trauma in their partner's family, these challenges raise questions about how to balance compassion with personal well-being.
The Aunties offer thoughtful advice on how to approach these sensitive issues. They discuss the importance of open communication with the partner, understanding your own emotional limits, and seeking professional support through therapy. They explore strategies for breaking unhealthy family patterns, building emotional intelligence, and prioritising the child’s stability and happiness. This episode is a compassionate guide for anyone grappling with similar challenges, offering both practical steps and reassurance for finding balance amidst complexity.
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In this heartfelt episode, Julia sits down with former footballer Tony Adams to explore his extraordinary journey through addiction, recovery, and personal growth. Tony reflects on his challenging childhood, marked by fear and loneliness, and how football became his escape. He shares candid insights into his struggles with addiction, recounting the pivotal moments that led to his ‘rock bottom’ and the transformative support he found through AA and his therapist, James West. Tony discusses the power of therapy, the importance of vulnerability, and the role of trust in his recovery, offering a deeply personal perspective on overcoming life’s hardest challenges.
Now sober since 1996, Tony has dedicated himself to helping others through Sporting Chance, the charity he founded to support athletes with addiction and mental health issues. He reflects on how recovery has reshaped his relationships, particularly with his children and grandchildren, and shares the life lessons he’s learned about accountability, letting go, and finding purpose. Tune in to hear Tony’s inspiring story of redemption and the life lessons he’s learned along the way.
Episode Highlights:
00:54 Challenges and Family Background
02:25 Childhood Fears and Escaping to Football
07:19 Struggles with Addiction and Recovery
16:04 Rock Bottom and Turning Point
20:44 The Role of Therapy and Support
26:03 Existential Therapy and Self-Discovery
26:41 The 12-Step Program Journey
29:04 Facing Fears and Addiction
31:58 Sporting Chance and Mental Health Advocacy
45:17 Grieving and Letting Go
48:33 Reflections on Life and Legacy
Find Tony:
Twitter: @TonyAdams
Instagram: @tonyadamsofficial
Visit Sporting Chance’s website to discover more about their work supporting athletes with addiction and mental health challenges.
If you’d like to connect, follow me on Instagram @juliasamuelmbe. And for more info, check out my new website: juliasamuel.co.uk.
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A person seeks advice from the Agony Aunties about dealing with a husband who regularly expresses frustration, anger, and suicidal threats, which affects the whole family. They emphasise understanding one's own limits and seeking support, discussing concepts like codependency and the importance of self-care. They suggest looking into resources like support groups, while maintaining open communication with the children and considering the impact on their well-being. They recommend resources such as CoDA.org and the book 'Codependent No More' by Melody Beattie, while also addressing the complexities of maintaining relationships amidst conflict.
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In this deeply moving episode, Zoe opens up about her journey following the imprisonment of her ex-husband, sentenced to nine years. She candidly shares how this life-altering event has impacted her and her two children, as they navigate the emotional turbulence, grief, and stigma that accompany such a profound upheaval.
Zoe reflects on her children’s varied emotional responses, her personal challenges in setting boundaries, and the toll on her mental health. She also explores her complicated feelings towards her ex-husband and the difficulties of maintaining connections through the prison system.
Throughout the conversation, Zoe emphasises the crucial role of support systems—therapy, faith, and structured routines—in finding stability amidst chaos. Julia also highlights the importance of allowing space for joy and fun, even in the most stressful times, as part of the journey toward healing.
This conversation offers a deep exploration of multi-dimensional grief, the need to adapt to new ways of living, and the powerful resilience required to rebuild and move forward.
Support Resources:
Children Heard and Seen
Sesame Street - Little Kids, Big Challenges
Storybook Dads
Barnardo's
If you’d like to connect, follow me on Instagram @juliasamuelmbe. And for more info, check out my new website: juliasamuel.co.uk.
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In this episode, the Agony Aunties respond to a parent’s question on supporting their child through the grief of not having friendships and dealing with the discrepancy between parental expectations and reality. They discuss the emotional difficulties parents face when their children struggle socially, the importance of acknowledging and validating both the parent's and child's feelings, and practical strategies to help the child find social connections. They emphasise the significance of resilience, finding alternative environments for belonging, and role modelling healthy relationships within the family.
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In this heartwarming episode, Sophie Ellis-Bextor opens up about her diverse roles as a musician, songwriter, podcaster, and mother of five boys. She delves into how music has been a constant, deeply personal passion since childhood, likening its impact to a time portal connecting her with her past selves. The conversation explores her early career highs and lows, her pragmatic and resilient approach to life's challenges, and the importance she places on family and close relationships. Sophie also reflects on how motherhood has influenced her work and vice versa, her structured approach to juggling professional and personal life, and her recent experiences rejuvenating her music career. Sophie also discusses the importance of surrounding oneself with good people, and the wisdom she's gained along the way. Don't miss this candid conversation filled with honesty, joy, and inspiration.
00:35 The Power of Music
03:52 Facing Challenges and Overcoming Adversity
05:32 Early Career and Lessons Learned
07:46 Family Life and Parenting
12:04 Balancing Fame and Core Values
15:18 Navigating Work and Motherhood
21:19 Unexpected Success and Future Plans
23:45 Unpredictable Work and Family Life
24:27 School Closures and Bedroom Changes
25:15 Managing Parental Expectations
25:39 A Call from Elton John
26:45 Balancing Work and Family
27:53 The Joy of Performing
32:41 The Challenge of Engaging Crowds
36:17 Maintaining Perspective and Humility
39:46 The Importance of Friendships
41:02 Wisdom and Reflections
Find Sophie:
Instagram: @sophieellisbextor
Podcast: You can listen to her podcast, Spinning Plates, where she interviews inspiring women about balancing work and family on platforms like Apple Podcasts or Spotify.
Music: Stream her music on Spotify and YouTube.
If you’d like to connect, follow me on Instagram @juliasamuelmbe. And for more info, check out my new website: juliasamuel.co.uk.
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A listener inquires about reclaiming their sexual self after dedicated years as a single parent of adopted children. The Agony Aunties provide reassuring advice, emphasising that it is never too late. They recommend starting with self-exploration, grieving past losses, and giving oneself permission to pursue sexual pleasure. Several resources are suggested, including the Savage Love cast and books like 'Come As You Are' by Dr. Emily Nogoski and 'Naked at Our Age' by Joan Price. They also suggest engaging in activities that stimulate erotic energy and emphasise self-worth.
Link to Maya Angelou's poem 'Phenomenal Woman’: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/48985/phenomenal-woman
If you’d like to connect, I post regularly on Instagram, with more thoughts and some Monday Top Tips. Follow me on @juliasamuelmbe.And for more info, check out my new website: juliasamuel.co.uk.
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In this heartfelt episode, psychotherapist Jenny Gibbs shares her deeply personal story of a life-changing accident just months before her wedding. She recounts her experiences with pain, both physical and psychological, and describes the long journey towards accepting her new reality. Jenny talks about the support systems that helped her, including her work as a therapist, her family, and a significant therapeutic somatic experience. She also reflects on the impact of her accident on her personal relationships and career, ultimately finding meaning and acceptance in her changed circumstances.
01:19 The Life-Changing Accident
03:13 Coping with Disfigurement and Isolation
06:25 The Journey to Acceptance
08:36 The Role of Therapy and Support
10:13 Reflections on Relationships and Identity
13:34 The Healing Process and Moving Forward
20:24 Lessons Learned and Future Outlook
32:42 Embracing Imperfections and Finding Beauty
33:28 The Power of Connection and Loneliness
35:12 Navigating Trauma and Personal Growth
42:16 The Role of Therapy and Emotional Release
45:03 The Impact of Compliments and Praise
48:56 Coping with Public Spaces and Vulnerability
58:32 Reflections on Personal Change and Relationships
01:06:33 The Importance of Acceptance and Moving Forward
If you’d like to connect, I post regularly on Instagram, with more thoughts and some Monday Top Tips. Follow me on @juliasamuelmbe.And for more info, check out my new website: juliasamuel.co.uk.
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at
betterhelp.com/therapyworks and get on your way to being your best self.
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A mother seeks advice from the Agony Aunties on whether to tell her 11-year-old daughter about the father's infidelity, which led to their separation. The Agony Aunties recommend that all children should know the same truth to avoid feelings of exclusion and stress. They suggest that the father might take responsibility for explaining his actions, which can be a healing opportunity. The response emphasises the importance of family transparency, co-parenting, and creating a unified, age-appropriate narrative to maintain healthy relationships and trust within the family.
Additional Resources:
"Parents Who Cheat: How Children and Adults are Affected When Their Parents Are Unfaithful" by Ana Nogales: https://amzn.eu/d/aUbg90h
This work extensively explores the impact of parental infidelity on children, including their future relationship dynamics.
"The Impact of Infidelity on Children's Psychological Development": https://www.researchgate.net/publication/373345867_The_Impact_of_Infidelity_on_Children's_Psychological_Development
Listen to Where Shall We Begin? with Esther Perel: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/where-should-we-begin-with-esther-perel/id1237931798
Follow me on @juliasamuelmbe.And for more info, check out my new website: juliasamuel.co.uk.
Wild Nutrition are offering an exclusive limited time offer to Therapy Works’ listeners: 50% off your first 3 months when you visit wildnutrition.com/therapy, that’s wildnutrition.com/therapy for 50% off your first 3 months. T&Cs apply.
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In this episode of Hurt to Healing, Julia welcomes author and journalist Sathnam Sanghera for an insightful discussion on mental health, cultural identity, and navigating personal success. Together, they confront the stigma surrounding severe mental illness, highlighting the importance of open conversation and emotional resilience. Sathnam shares his experience balancing the complexities of his cultural heritage with personal identity, offering a candid look at the psychological challenges of reconciling different parts of oneself, especially in high-achieving environments like Cambridge University.
They explore the intricate dance between cultural expectations, family dynamics, and the pressures of shifting social classes. With reflections on parental love, protection, and cultural loyalty, Sathnam and Julia delve into the nuanced journey of identity, belonging, and self-discovery. This compelling episode tackles the intersections of mental health, heritage, and the ever-evolving quest for a sense of home and purpose.
Find Sathnam:
Website: https://www.sathnam.com/
Instagram: @sathnamsanghera
Otherwise, if you’d like to connect, I post regularly on Instagram, with more thoughts and some Monday Top Tips. Follow me on @juliasamuelmbe.And for more info, check out my new website: juliasamuel.co.uk.
Wild Nutrition are offering an exclusive limited time offer to Therapy Works’ listeners: 50% off your first 3 months when you visit wildnutrition.com/therapy, that’s wildnutrition.com/therapy for 50% off your first 3 months. T&Cs apply.
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A concerned parent expresses guilt and regret over their parenting impact on their teenagers and seeks advice on repairing damaged relationships. The discussion covers the importance of acknowledging past mistakes, seeking forgiveness, and making meaningful changes. It emphasises the significance of personal therapy for self-awareness, validating children's experiences, and maintaining ongoing, honest conversations. A key point is distinguishing between seeking forgiveness from children and forgiving oneself to heal. The conversation highlights the potential for positive transformation and the importance of supportive frameworks like therapy.
Follow me on @juliasamuelmbe.And for more info, check out my new website: juliasamuel.co.uk.
Wild Nutrition are offering an exclusive limited time offer to Therapy Works’ listeners: 50% off your first 3 months when you visit wildnutrition.com/therapy, that’s wildnutrition.com/therapy for 50% off your first 3 months. T&Cs apply.
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In this moving episode of the Therapy Works podcast, Lotte Bowser shares her heart-wrenching journey of losing her partner Ben to cancer and COVID-19 complications. She discusses the profound challenges of grief, the impact of his illness and death on her life, and the arduous process of rebuilding her life anew. Lottie reflects on various therapeutic practices, including writing and journalling, which helped her process pain and find a semblance of resolution. The conversation delves into the physical nature of grief, radical self-compassion, and the complexities of starting a new relationship while mourning. Lottie opens up about societal pressures surrounding grief, the duality of life balancing grief and joy, and reentering the dating world. She emphasises the importance of community support, the interplay of sex and death, and the need for sensitivity and understanding from others. This episode offers listeners insights into the enduring nature of grief and the resilience required to embrace new beginnings.
00:35 Facing the Greatest Challenge: Loss of a Partner
03:39 Coping with Grief and Finding Joy
06:22 Rebuilding Life After Loss
11:16 Navigating New Relationships
21:44 Seeking Support and Connection
23:10 Finding Strength in Numbers
24:32 Choosing Life Amidst Grief
24:59 Radical Compassion and Self-Permission
25:30 The Unfixable Nature of Death
27:02 Holding Grief and Joy Simultaneously
27:40 The Taboo of Sex and Grief
31:12 Writing as a Therapeutic Outlet
33:42 Physical Manifestations of Grief
34:46 The Universal Experience of Grief
36:41 The Duality of Bittersweet
38:19 Living Fully After Loss
48:32 The Creative Endeavour of Relationships
50:21 Complexity in Different Types of Bereavement
Find Lotte Bowser:
Instagram: @lottebowser
Read her book, Bittersweet: https://amzn.eu/d/4TMzEmV
Listen to her podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/4VffRbs0rN3U2BC3qJ8wW1?si=b04773d8c32a4622
Otherwise, if you’d like to connect, I post regularly on Instagram, with more thoughts and some Monday Top Tips. Follow me on @juliasamuelmbe.And for more info, check out my new website: juliasamuel.co.uk.
Wild Nutrition are offering an exclusive limited time offer to Therapy Works’ listeners: 50% off your first 3 months when you visit wildnutrition.com/therapy, that’s wildnutrition.com/therapy for 50% off your first 3 months. T&Cs apply.
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The Agony Aunties offer advice to a mother concerned about her six-year-old daughter's intense emotions and anger. They recommend techniques such as calm discussions, using books, and physical methods like hitting a pillow to help children manage their feelings. They stress the importance of parents modelling emotional regulation and self-compassion. Additionally, they introduce a daily practice called 'rose, bud, and thorn' to enhance emotional intelligence and gratitude.
Wild Nutrition are offering an exclusive limited time offer to Therapy Works’ listeners: 50% off your first 3 months when you visit wildnutrition.com/therapy, that’s wildnutrition.com/therapy for 50% off your first 3 months. T&Cs apply.
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In this interview, Jane Garvey discusses her expansive career in radio broadcasting, from being the first voice on BBC Radio 5 Live to her long tenure at Woman's Hour, and her current role at Times Radio. Jane shares insights into her personal life, particularly her experiences as a single parent and the unique challenges it brought. She highlights the emotional and psychological load of single parenting, emphasising the advantage of having resources and support. The conversation also navigates her career trajectory, public recognition, and work-life balance, particularly through transitions and public interactions. Moreover, Jane reflects on mentoring in media, feminism, and her personal growth, including her significant role during a live broadcast on September 11, 2001. Additionally, she dives into her close professional relationship with Fi Glover and the impact and reception of their successful podcast, Off Air with Jane and Fi.
01:24 Challenges of Single Parenting
03:52 Reflections on Parenting and Family
18:04 Career Beginnings and Aspirations
28:44 Navigating Public and Private Life as a Single Mum
29:12 The Role of Radio in Personal and Public Life
31:41 The Psyche of Broadcasters
38:14 The Impact of Major Events on Broadcasting
41:34 The Evolution of Female Broadcasters
45:44 Reflections on Career and Personal Dreams
48:50 Parenting Challenges and Societal Expectations
50:34 The Importance of Honest Conversations
59:45 The Good Enough Parent
Listen to Off Air with Jane and Fi: https://open.spotify.com/show/4fIthFOvAaPBVf5NWyz8Sl
Follow Jane and Fi on Instagram: @janeandfi
Otherwise, if you’d like to connect, I post regularly on Instagram, with more thoughts and some Monday Top Tips. Follow me on @juliasamuelmbe.And for more info, check out my new website: juliasamuel.co.uk.
Wild Nutrition are offering an exclusive limited time offer to Therapy Works’ listeners: 50% off your first 3 months when you visit wildnutrition.com/therapy, that’s wildnutrition.com/therapy for 50% off your first 3 months. T&Cs apply.
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