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What happens when your birthday brings up more than cake and candles?
In this raw and personal episode, Harley opens up about what itâs like to navigate aging as a sexual woman in a culture obsessed with youth. From noticing lines in the mirror to feeling like time is running out for certain fantasies, this episode is a vulnerable look at the internal stories we carryâand how kink can help us rewrite them.
Youâll hear:
Why the sex Harley has now is so much better than what she had in her twentiesHow fantasy, age play, and Core Desires can help you stay connected to the younger part of yourselfWhat men can do to genuinely support and desire women as they ageThe powerful role kink plays in transcending physical age and reconnecting with play, innocence, and turn-onWhether you're in your 20s or your 60s, this episode is a celebration of growing into your sexualityânot out of it.
đ Links + Resources
âš Vote for Turns Out Iâm Into It in the Australian Adult Industry AwardsRecommended listening: #83 What if you Could be Anyone? The Magic of Kink PersonasRecommended listening: #47 Australia's First Age Play Convention Kangacon! Interview with DaddaGJournaling / Discussion Prompts
What age do I feel when Iâm having sex?How has my sex life changed in the last 5â10-20 years?What do you, or could you find attractive about older women, if you look beyond the cultural lens?đ If you loved this episode, donât forget to rate, review, and share it with someone who needs to hear this today.
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In this episode, I explore the difference between masculinity and toxic masculinityâand why Iâm tired of pretending that being attracted to masculine men is something to be ashamed of.
Inspired by a scene in Beastars (an anime on Netflix), I unpack what it means to celebrate masculine power without excusing harm. We talk about violence, tenderness, emotional maturity, and why the sexiest men are often the ones who could fightâbut donât need to.
From MMA rings to Formula One tracks, this is a heartfelt and primal love letter to healthy masculinityâand an invitation to let men be tigers again!
Beastars â anime series on Netflix (Season 1)Men, Women & Worthiness by BrenĂ© Brown (short audiobook on Audible)@harley_rabbit on Instagram â DM TIGERBITE to join my close friends circleSubscribeStar After Show â for bonus reflections and behind-the-scenes thoughts
đ Resources Mentioned:Your Invited to the Aftershow!
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Do you ever feel like your body just isnât showing up for sexâeven when your mind is totally on board? Maybe you want to feel turned on, but nothingâs happening down there. Or maybe you feel ashamed, confused, or frustrated when your desire doesnât match what your partner (or you!) expect.
In this episode, Harley Rabbit introduces the dual control model, a powerful framework from the world of sexology that could change the way you think about arousal forever.
Youâll learn how your sexual accelerator and brakes work, and how understanding these systems can help you navigate issues like low desire, erectile difficulties, body shame, and performance anxiety with more compassion, clarity, and confidence.
Journaling Prompts:
đ Do I know what my core desires are? Am I getting them met in my sex life?
đ Are there any external or internal threats pressing on my brakes right now? Can I do anything about them?Resources Mentioned:
Emily Nagoskiâs Book: Come As You ArePrevious Episode: #83: What If You Could Be Anyone? The Magic of Kink Personasđ« Access the Aftershow! Subscribe to my SubscribeStar to get access to bonus content.
đ Vote for Turns Out Iâm Into It in the Australian Adult Industry Awards.
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Ever felt too self-conscious to fully enjoy sex? Maybe you struggle to switch off from life stress, or you find yourself stuck in your head during intimate moments.
In this episode, Harley Rabbit shares a powerful technique for breaking free from insecurity and fully immersing yourself in pleasureâby stepping into a kink persona.
A kink persona isnât just roleplayâitâs a way to tap into different aspects of yourself, experiment with new fantasies, and unleash parts of your sexuality you may never have explored before. Whether you're a creative storyteller, a fantasy-driven thinker, or just someone who struggles to stay present in sex, this episode will help you unlock new ways to play.
Journaling / Discussion Prompts
If I could be anyone in a fantasy, who would I be?What kind of personality excites me in a sexual scenario? Am I dominant, submissive, playful, shy, aggressive?Write a short erotic fantasy from the perspective of your characterResources Mentioned:
Join me in the Aftershow on my Subscriberstar. Visit: https://subscribestar.adult/harley-rabbitSupport the Show:
If you enjoyed this episode, consider:
Sharing it with a friendLeaving a 5-star rating or reviewYour Invited to the Aftershow!
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When you first explore submission, itâs easy to get caught up in labels and stereotypesâbut what if those donât quite fit? Do you have to love obedience, service, or degradation to be a sub? Or maybe youâre drawn to pain or bondage, but donât feel like surrendering control?
In this episode, Harley Rabbit helps you untangle your submissive identity, exploring the many ways submission can look. Whether youâre a good sub, brat, masochist, or rope bunny, this episode will guide you in discovering what truly excites youâwithout forcing yourself into a box that doesnât fit.
This one is for both subs and dominants, as weâll also discuss how to recognise different submissive styles and find play partners who are the right match.
Journaling / Discussion Prompts:
Do I crave giving up control, or am I more drawn to sensory experiences?Do I get turned on by praise, punishment, resistance, or being cared for?How can I communicate my unique submission style with my partner(s)?Resources Mentioned:
Previous Episode: #81: Am I Kinky Enough? Breaking Free from the StereotypesJoin my Close Friends circle on Instagram @harley_rabbit. Password: Sleepybunny đ€«Support the Show:
If you enjoyed this episode, consider:
Sharing it with a friendLeaving a 5-star rating or reviewYour Invited to the Aftershow!
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Have you ever wondered if you're kinky enough to belong in the kink community? Maybe you feel like you donât fit the stereotypical Dominant/submissive (D/s) mold or that your desires arenât âintenseâ enough to count. In this episode, Harley Rabbit dives into the many ways people explore kinkâwhether through full-time dynamics, occasional play, private fantasies, or even solo experiences.
Kink doesnât have to look one way, and thereâs no test you need to pass to belong. We'll also explore some of the lesser-known types of kink, such as sensation play, fetishes, and solo kink practices, to highlight just how broad and personal kink can be. Whether you're just beginning your journey or questioning where you fit in, this episode will help you embrace your unique desires with confidence and curiosity.
Journaling / Discussion Prompts:
Do I ever compare my desires to others and feel like I donât measure up?What lesser-known kinks am I curious to explore?
Previous Episode: #76: Are My Fantasies Normal? (A great companion episode to todayâs discussion)Book a free call with Harley
Resources Mentioned:
Support the Show:If you enjoyed this episode, consider:
Sharing it with a friendLeaving a 5-star rating or reviewxx Harley đ°
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In this episode of Turns Out Iâm Into It, Iâm joined by the incredible Miss GenâShibari educator, performer, and rope sadist. As head of Evil Girls HQ in Brisbane and a Shihan (Master Instructor) in Kazami Ryu Shibari, she has 25+ years of experience training with top rope masters and performing in Japan.
We explore:
đč Miss Genâs journey into rope â From self-tying as a child to discovering her dominant side.
đč The psychology of rope play â How energy, connection, and anticipation shape a scene.
đč Shibari vs. Western bondage â Key differences in style, structure, and emotional depth.
đč Performing in Japan â The world of Japanese rope bars, pink theatres & cultural attitudes.
đč Building a rope community â How Miss Gen helped shape the Brisbane rope scene.Miss Gen shares why patience, negotiation, and connection are essential in rope. If youâre curious about Shibari, this episode is a must-listen!
đ Follow Miss Gen at
FetLife @MissEvilGenIG: @miss_gen_does_ropeWeb: evilgirlsHQ.com.auđ Resources & Mentions:
Nuit de Tokyo â A must-follow on Fetlife for Shibari history & education Bar Ubu (Tokyo) â A famous rope bar in Japanđ Books
Shibari You Can Use - Lee HarringtonMore Shibari You Can Use - Lee HarringtonThe Seductive Art Of Japanese Bondage - MidoriThe Manual of Tying ShibariYour Invited to the Aftershow!
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Most people donât realise just how much gender shapes the way we play in BDSM. Whether weâre leaning into traditional rolesâlike masculine dominance and feminine submissionâor subverting them entirely, gender dynamics influence kink in ways we often donât even notice.
In this episode of Turns Out Iâm Into It, we dive into:
đč How gender roles show up in BDSM
đč Masculine dominance vs. feminine submission â Why it turns us on
đč Subverting gender norms â Femdom, feminisation, and sissification in play
đč The shadow self & kink â Why our desires often contradict our vanilla life values
đč De-shaming gendered kinks & embracing what excites you
đč Practical ways to explore gender roles in BDSMJournaling Prompts from This Episode
đ Want to explore gender in your BDSM play? Use these prompts to reflect on your desires:
Do I feel more aroused by reinforcing traditional gender roles or subverting themâor both?Are there fantasies Iâve been afraid to explore because they challenge how I see myself?What aspects of gender am I curious about playing with in a kink setting?If you loved this episode, leave a 5-star review and share it with your kinky friends! đ
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In this episode of Turns Out Iâm Into It, Iâm joined by the incredible Shelby Devlin, a sex and intimacy coach with nearly a decade of experience specializing in BDSM and kink. With a master's degree in sexuality studies and a role as an advanced instructor at the Somatica Institute, Shelby brings a wealth of knowledge to our conversation.
We dive into two powerful topics:
đč Religious shame & sexuality â How religious conditioning shapes our sexual identities, and how to reclaim pleasure while maintaining faith.
đč The psychology of dominance & submission â Why BDSM is a form of psychological eroticism, and how understanding power dynamics can deepen trust and connection.Shelby shares her personal journey into kink, how she helps clients navigate shame, and why pleasure is the antidote to shame. We also discuss 24/7 dynamics, the importance of trust in BDSM, and the real difference between dominance and just being selfish. Plus, Shelby gives us a sneak peek into her upcoming book on BDSM!
If youâve ever struggled with internalized shame, questioned your desires, or wanted to deepen your understanding of power exchange, this is an episode you wonât want to miss.
đ Resources & Mentions:
đ Sleeping Beauty series by Anne Rice
đ Tell Me What You Want by Justin Lehmiller
đ A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas
đ Find Shelby at shelbydevlin.comđ„ Loved this episode? Leave a 5-star review and share it with your kinky friends!
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Sharing your sexual fantasies with a partner can feel incredibly vulnerable... maybe even terrifying! In this episode, Harley Rabbit dives deep into why itâs so hard to open up about our desires and offers practical, no-pressure strategies to help you navigate these conversations with confidence and curiosity. Whether you're hoping to act on your fantasies or simply share them for deeper intimacy, this episode will equip you with the tools to hopefully make it a positive experience!
Discussion Prompts:
What feelings do I want to experience through my fantasies?How can I support my partnerâs desires even if I donât share them?Resources Mentioned:
Previous Episode: #76: Are My Fantasies Normal? (Recommended as a precursor to today's episode)Precious Episode: #74: My Secret "Cock Worship" Fantasy: How Fantasies Unlock Better SexSupport the Show:
Sharing it with a friendLeaving a 5-star rating or review
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Episode Summary:
In this episode of Turns Out Iâm Into It, Harley Rabbit dives deep into the fascinating world of sexual fantasies, exploring why so many of us feel shame about them and how science challenges the idea of ânormalâ fantasies. Harley breaks down a landmark study, âWhat Exactly Is an Unusual Sexual Fantasy?â, which surveyed over 1,500 people to determine which fantasies are rare, unusual, common, or typical. Along the way, Harley shares personal insights, busts myths about fantasies, and offers practical tips for embracing your desires without shame.Discussion & Journal Prompts:
What are some sexual fantasies Iâve had that Iâve felt shame about, and where does that shame come from?How do I feel about sharing my fantasies with a partner? What fears or hesitations come up?Links & Resources Mentioned:
Full Study: âWhat Exactly Is an Unusual Sexual Fantasy?âHarleyâs blog post summarizing the study and insights.Sci-Hub.se for accessing research articles.Support the Podcast:
Follow Turns Out Iâm Into It on your favourite podcast platform.Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple Podcastsâitâs quick, anonymous, and helps others discover the show.Share this episode with friends or partners who might find it valuable!
If you enjoyed this episode, please:Your Invited to the Aftershow!
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Itâs time to add a little extra joy to your holiday season! In this special Christmas episode, Iâm joined by the fabulous Wendy Setless, a Somatica-trained sexual health, pleasure, and relationship coach, and the resident sexologist at her local adult store.
Wendy brings her infectious enthusiasm and deep knowledge to help us navigate the world of adult toysâfrom vibrators and strokers to kegel balls and vibrating cock rings. Whether youâre looking to explore solo or spice things up with a partner, Wendy shares practical advice for finding the perfect âhardwareâ and discovering what makes your body tick.
This episode is packed with laughs, insights, and encouragement to embrace pleasure, own your desires, and have a very merry holiday season!
A video version of this episode is available on our Youtube channel.Mentioned in this episode:
Wand VibratorBullet VibratorKegel Balls (How to use kegel balls)Asymmetrical Vibrator (couldnât find exact model but this is close)Svockum (brand) Come As You Are by Emily NagoskiThe Rhythm of Womenâs Desires by Elizabeth DavisContact Wendy
www.pillowtalkwithwendy.com@pillowtalkwithwendy Instagram / Facebookxx Harley đ°
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In this weekâs episode, Harley Rabbit takes a deep dive into the world of sexual fantasies and reveals one of her most provocative onesâa cock worship scenario rooted in her submissive desires.
Harley discusses how fantasies can unlock deeper arousal, help you connect with your core desires, and transform your sex lifeâwhether you're indulging solo or with a partner. She explores why fantasising is healthy, how it doesnât reflect your real-life values, and how to incorporate your imagination into sex without needing an elaborate setup.
Plus, Harley shares practical tips on using props, positions, and gestures to amplify your fantasies and make them even more immersive.
Mentioned in this episode:
FetLife Writing: Explore the full details of Harleyâs cock worship fantasy on her FetLife profile @harleyrabbit Kink Coaching: Want to uncover your core desires and craft your "hottest sexual movie"? Book a free connection call with Harley at HarleyRabbit.com.Episode #49: How to Give INSANE Blowjobs - Even If You Canât Deep ThroatContact
Harleyrabbit.com Sign up to my NewsletterFollow me on FetlifeFollow me on Instagramxx Harley đ°
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In this episode of Turns Out Iâm Into It, Harley Rabbit takes on some of the most stubborn myths and misconceptions about womenâs sexuality. Whether youâre a woman navigating these expectations or a man eager to understand your partner better, this episode is for you.
Harley shares her personal experiences and insights from studying sexology, conversations with clients and friends, and challenges commonly held beliefs that might be holding you back from a more fulfilling sex life.
Youâll hear about:
Why being multi-orgasmic isnât the ultimate goal for everyone.Why âShe Comes Firstâ is well-intentioned but not always the best approach.How objectification, when done consensually, can actually boost confidence and connection.Why putting women on a pedestal creates imbalance and prevents authentic intimacy.Contact
Harleyrabbit.com Sign up to my NewsletterFollow me on FetlifeFollow me on Instagramxx Harley đ°
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In this empowering episode, Harley Rabbit dives into the topic of sex positivity and overcoming shame around sexuality. Sharing personal stories, including a formative memory from high school and a transformative recent experience in a burlesque dance class, Harley explores how societal messages shape our views on expressing sexuality. Harley reflects on reclaiming self-confidence and finding permission to be authentically sexy in a world that often discourages it.
Referenced in this episode
Christina Agulara - Genie in a BottleThe Vavoom Room - Burlesque Dance Studio Townsville HarleyRabbit.com â Book a free connection call.The Animal Game - SomaticaÂź Exercise watch on YoutubeContact
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In this episode, Harley Rabbit opens up about finally getting her first tattooâa significant milestone that stirred up childhood memories and beliefs. Harley reflects on how her journey into kink and pain play has reshaped her understanding of resilience, pain, and bravery. Sharing stories about childhood fears, needle phobias, and reclaiming agency through kink, Harley discusses how these experiences helped overcome lifelong limiting beliefs.
Tune in for an honest, empowering discussion about using kink as a way to challenge old narratives, embrace your strength, and celebrate your journey. Plus, hear updates on Harleyâs coaching journey, Somatica training, and her battles with challenges in the adult industry.
Resources Mentioned:
Book Recommendation: The Way Out by Alan Gordon for chronic pain management.HarleyRabbit.com â Book a free connection call.Find tattoo pictures on Harleyâs Instagram and Fetlife profiles.Contact
Harleyrabbit.com Sign up to my NewsletterFollow me on FetlifeFollow me on Instagramxx Harley đ°
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In this episode, Harley dives into a fun yet insightful analysis of three popular love songs that might make you rethink your playlist: I Lose Control by Teddy Swims, Elastic Heart by Sia, and Grenade by Bruno Mars. Taking on the role of a relationship coach, Harley imagines these song lyrics as if they were clients sitting in a therapy session, sharing their romantic struggles.
Harley explores how these songs, while catchy and romantic on the surface, often glorify toxic behaviors that weâve come to accept as ânormalâ in love stories. From possessive jealousy and feeling out of control to shaming, blaming, and self-sacrifice, these songs highlight common patterns that are often romanticized in music but can be damaging in real relationships.
Tune in for a mix of humor, raw honesty, and relationship wisdom as Harley breaks down why we should pay closer attention to the messaging in the love songs we adore. You'll never hear these tracks the same way again! (Written by AI)
Mentioned in this Episode
Loose Control - Teddy SwimsElastic Heart - SiaGrenade - Bruno MarsContact
Harleyrabbit.com Sign up to my NewsletterFollow me on FetlifeFollow me on Instagramxx Harley đ°
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CNC (Consensual Non-Consent) is often discussed from a womanâs perspective, but what about men? In this episode, Iâm joined by Dotch, a SomaticaÂź practitioner who once saw CNC as a hard limit but has since learned to enjoy facilitating these fantasies. Dotch shares his journey, from initial discomfort to embracing CNC in a way that feels safe, consensual, and exciting. We discuss the challenges men face, including shame and the fear of crossing boundaries, and offer insights on how to explore CNC responsibly. Tune in for a thoughtful, candid conversation on navigating CNC from a manâs point of view.
Mentioned in this Episode
Beginnerâs CNC Play for Couples Eventbrite (Book tickets)Beginner's CNC Play for Couples (Fetlife Event)SomaticaÂźSomaticaÂź BDSM Mastery CourseEmily Tesh - Some Desperate Glory (book)Contact
Sexandmischief.coach (Dotchâs website)Harleyrabbit.com (My website)Sign up to my NewsletterFollow me on FetlifeFollow me on Instagramxx Harley đ°
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In this episode, Harley Rabbit delves into the concept of intimacy within the kink and BDSM communities, challenging common misconceptions that equate kink with violence and degradation. Harley emphasizes that true intimacy in kink is built on trust, vulnerability, and open communication. The discussion explores various forms of intimacy that can arise in kink, including the exploration of personal limits and the importance of aftercare. Harley also shares personal experiences that highlight how kink can foster deeper connections and accelerate feelings of intimacy between partners.
If you are interested in exploring some CNC roleplays with a trusted partner, I am hosting an online workshop in October. You can get tickets here:
Beginnerâs CNC Play for Couples Eventbrite (Book tickets)
Beginner's CNC Play for Couples (Fetlife Event)
Contact
Sign up to my NewsletterFollow me on FetlifeFollow me on InstagramFollow me on Xxx Harley đ°
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I got up to some exciting kinky shenanigans this weekend and I canât wait to share! Slade and I did our most elaborate roleplay yet, which was a CNC schoolgirl fantasy. This has been a fantasy of mine for a long time, and was also my first time exploring middlespace. In this episode I share the details of the roleplay and what I learned, as well as how it felt to explore a more complicated for of ageplay where I was actually getting to sooth some old wounds using the repetition with agency pathway.
If you are interested in exploring some CNC roleplays with a trusted partner, I am hosting an online workshop in October. You can get tickets here:
Beginnerâs CNC Play for Couples Eventbrite (Book tickets)
Mentioned in this episode
Join my mailing list here3 Part Trauma Mini-Series#44: When Bad Feels Really Good - kink is NOT Abuse#45: The Truth About Turn Ons#46: Strength in Darkness - Soothing Trauma with BDSMBeginner's CNC Play for Couples (Fetlife Event)Contact
Sign up to my NewsletterFollow me on FetlifeFollow me on InstagramFollow me on Xxx Harley đ°
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