Episodes
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In honour of the first anniversary of You & I, we hosted a LIVE episode on YouTube and Instagram where we answered some of the question submissions we haven’t yet explored. We took audience questions LIVE with one of my closest friends and people I go to regularly for advice, Caroline Boquist, who is the co-owner of Walrus in Vancouver, BC.
Question 1:
I'm married with kids. I love my husband and my kids but at the same time I'm not fulfilled by my relationship. I've started to develop strong feelings for someone else. It hasn't gone beyond a meeting for coffee and messaging. I don't know what to do. Please help?
Question 2:
How do you find balance between “life is too short” and still achieve goals and get through your daily routine?
Question 3:
I left my drug addict, in all ways abusive, partner after eight years about eight months ago. I was bold, convicted and finally strong enough to leave. But after almost a year, I am more wounded, battered and stuck in my trauma than ever before. Talk therapy is just talk for my mind to get in some words and for my heart to be emotional. But my body is stuck, frozen-filled with stress, trauma, cortisol, paralyzed with PTSD and all things in between. My question to you is, how do I thaw myself and help my body release all of this ‘stuff’?
Question 4:
How do you let go of personal guilt? Guilt is an overpowering emotion that takes up way too much space in my life. The bigger problem is, all my guilt is self-imposed and the person I feel most guilty about is…me. Most of my days are spent thinking about what or how I SHOULD be doing something, even when those around me encourage me or remind me I am doing so many great things. How do I let go of this guilt?
This anniversary episode will be my last for a little while. In order to create the space needed to write my book, To You Who Wonders, You & I will be on hiatus. I love all the learning that has come from exploring your questions and I can’t wait to do this LIVE with you. We hope that you get something helpful out of this conversation. If anything, know that you’re not alone. You see, we all struggle, mourn, yearn, question, laugh and cry. No matter our age, background, or titles, at our core, we are all not so different, You & I. It needs to be said, I am not a professional, just someone with some personal experience to share. I do hope this is helpful, but as always, take the advice that resonates and ignore what doesn't. Don’t hesitate to seek out professional help through a trusted source. Resources on finding trusted professional help can be found here.
Episode Resources:Jackie Kai Ellis: Website / Instagram
Caroline Boquist: Instagram
Walrus: Website / Instagram
Indian Residential School Survivors Society: Website / 24-hr Crisis Line 1-800-721-0066
You & I Podcast: Website / Instagram
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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To create space for Jackie to write her upcoming book, To You Who Wonders – an advice column meets memoir – she will be reading from her past column, Ask JKE, for Virtuvi's Natural Habitat Magazine.
This week, she is answering the question "I’m looking for advice on how to date, during a pandemic, while running a small business. I am a fellow baker and as you know, work long, strenuous hours, often while the rest of the world sleeps. Will I ever find love? Is it possible to find a balance while growing my business?" She reflects on the answer she wrote so many years ago and shares her reflections, what has evolved since, what she would have written differently or what she was experiencing at the time she wrote it.
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We hope that you get something helpful out of this conversation. If anything, know that you’re not alone. You see, we all struggle, mourn, yearn, question, laugh and cry. No matter our age, background, or titles, at our core, we are all not so different, You & I.
Episode Resources:
Jackie Kai Ellis: Website / Instagram
Vitruvi's Natural Habitat Magazine: Website / Instagram
You & I Podcast: Website
Resources on finding trusted professional help can be found here.Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Missing episodes?
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To create space for Jackie to write her upcoming book, To You Who Wonders – an advice column meets memoir – she will be reading from her past column, Ask JKE, for Virtuvi's Natural Habitat Magazine.
This week, she is answering the question "How would you handle an employer doubting your ability to manage projects when you know it stems from internalized racism and unconscious bias?" She reflects on the answer she wrote so many years ago and shares her reflections, what has evolved since, what she would have written differently or what she was experiencing at the time she wrote it.
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We hope that you get something helpful out of this conversation. If anything, know that you’re not alone. You see, we all struggle, mourn, yearn, question, laugh and cry. No matter our age, background, or titles, at our core, we are all not so different, You & I.
Episode Resources:
Jackie Kai Ellis: Website / Instagram
Vitruvi's Natural Habitat Magazine: Website / Instagram
You & I Podcast: Website
Resources on finding trusted professional help can be found here.Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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To create space for Jackie to write her upcoming book, To You Who Wonders – an advice column meets memoir – she will be reading from her past column, Ask JKE, for Virtuvi's Natural Habitat Magazine.
This week, she is answering the question "How do I forgive myself for the way I acted at the height of my depression? How do I forgive myself for the pain I caused the ones I love? How do I forgive myself for losing myself...losing my spark? All the consequences of dealing with depression? How do I stay kind to myself when I know I am not showing up as my best self while still navigating emotional wounds and pain?" She reflects on the answer she wrote so many years ago and shares her reflections, what has evolved since, what she would have written differently or what she was experiencing at the time she wrote it.
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We hope that you get something helpful out of this conversation. If anything, know that you’re not alone. You see, we all struggle, mourn, yearn, question, laugh and cry. No matter our age, background, or titles, at our core, we are all not so different, You & I.
Episode Resources:
Jackie Kai Ellis: Website / Instagram
Vitruvi's Natural Habitat Magazine: Website / Instagram
You & I Podcast: Website
Resources on finding trusted professional help can be found here.Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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To create space for Jackie to write her upcoming book, To You Who Wonders – an advice column meets memoir – she will be reading from her past column, Ask JKE, for Virtuvi's Natural Habitat Magazine.
This week, she is answering the question "When did you know you wanted to work for yourself? How did you decide? When did you know you were ready? How did you prepare to jump?" She reflects on the answer she wrote so many years ago and shares her reflections, what has evolved since, what she would have written differently or what she was experiencing at the time she wrote it.
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We hope that you get something helpful out of this conversation. If anything, know that you’re not alone. You see, we all struggle, mourn, yearn, question, laugh and cry. No matter our age, background, or titles, at our core, we are all not so different, You & I.
Episode Resources:
Jackie Kai Ellis: Website / Instagram
Vitruvi's Natural Habitat Magazine: Website / Instagram
You & I Podcast: Website
Resources on finding trusted professional help can be found here.Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Jackie will be exploring the listener question, "You give your all, you burn out, you resign, and your boss could care less. How do you restart fresh?"
Tune in she and guest Kim Budziak dive into burnout, its roots in self-worth, how to heal from the emotional loss that comes from career and how to start new.
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We hope that you get something helpful out of this conversation. If anything, know that you’re not alone. You see, we all struggle, mourn, yearn, question, laugh and cry. No matter our age, background, or titles, at our core, we are all not so different, You & I.
Episode Resources:
Jackie Kai Ellis: Website / Instagram
Kim Budziak: Instagram
Northwest Immigrant Rights Project: Website / Instagram
You & I Podcast: Website
Resources on finding trusted professional help can be found here.Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Tune in as Jackie explores her own identity and the ambiguity of who she is apart from who she is as a sister, a daughter, a mother, a wife, a business person and "multi-hyphenate." She delves into her own struggle and shares, not the wisdom of hindsight, but a perspective from inside the confusion.
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We hope that you get something helpful out of this exploration. If anything, know that you’re not alone. You see, we all struggle, mourn, yearn, question, laugh and cry. No matter our age, background, or titles, at our core, we are all not so different, You & I.
Make sure to listen until the end to hear the question we will be diving into on the next episode. And if you feel inspired to respond to this asker and are interested in being a guest of this episode, or if you have a short word of wisdom for them, write to us on the contact page on youandipodcast.com or DM us on Instagram at @youandi.podcast.
Episode Resources:
Jackie Kai Ellis: Website / Instagram
You & I Podcast: Website / Instagram
Resources on finding trusted professional help can be found here.Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Jackie will be exploring the listener question, "How do I overcome imposter syndrome?" with guest, Ruchika Tulshyan. She is the best-selling author of Inclusion on Purpose: An Intersectional Approach to Creating a Culture of Belonging at Work and a regular contributor to The New York Times and Harvard Business Review for which she co-wrote the article, "Stop Telling Women They Have Imposter Syndrome."
Tune in as they dive into the roots of imposter syndrome, how it disproportionately affects women of colour, and how systemic bias and exclusion exacerbate and pathologize insecurity.
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We hope that you get something helpful out of this conversation. If anything, know that you’re not alone. You see, we all struggle, mourn, yearn, question, laugh and cry. No matter our age, background, or titles, at our core, we are all not so different, You & I.
Episode Resources:
Jackie Kai Ellis: Website / Instagram
Ruchika Tulshyan: Website / Instagram
No Kid Hungry: Website / Instagram
You & I Podcast: Website
Resources on finding trusted professional help can be found here.Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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For today’s mini episode, Jackie will explore two very similar questions that our listeners sent in..
They write:
Can I ask a very personal question? How old are you? I am 40 and trying to get pregnant and having trouble and, at the end of the day, wondering if I’m too old to have the energy to be a mom. You look very happy with your choice to be a mom.
And another listener wrote:
I’d love it if Jackie could talk about what it’s like becoming a mom later in life if that’s not too personal to share. I’m in my late 30s and am looking into my options of becoming a mom soon.
Tune in to hear Jackie explore the topic of becoming a mom "later in life" in the most vulnerable and truest of ways. And make sure to listen until the end to hear the question we will be diving into on the next episode. And if you feel inspired to respond to this asker and are interested in being a guest of this episode, OR if you have a short word of wisdom for them, write to us on the contact page on youandipodcast.com or DM us on instagram at @youandi.podcast.
This podcast is produced by More Good Media.
Episode Resources:
Jackie Kai Ellis: Website / Instagram
You & I Podcast: Website
Resources on finding trusted professional help can be found here.Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Today Jackie and her guest will be exploring a question about vulnerability in writing. Jackie is on the precipice of writing her second book, To You Who Wonders, an advice column meets memoir partly inspired by this podcast. It seemed fitting to answer this question as a way to celebrate the announcement of this next book!
They write:
I am an aspiring author working on a non-fiction book about work and motherhood that will include stories from my personal life. I enjoyed your memoir so much and I found at times your courageous willingness to share your stories so inspiring. I’m wondering if you could share any advice for writers who would like to share their stories but often find themselves always holding back, softening certain details or struggling to decide which stories to reveal vs conceal. How did you stay so brave during your writing process? And how does it feel to have your stories out there after publication?
Thank you so much! - Dallas
Tune in to hear jackie explore this topic with her amazing guest this week Bhavna Chauhan an Editorial Director at Doubleday Canada, Penguin Random House Canada. She was also the editor that worked with Jackie on her bestselling memoir, The Measure of My Powers, and is a wealth of knowledge and a true expert in the field.
We hope that you get something helpful out of this conversation. If anything, know that you’re not alone. You see, we all struggle, mourn, yearn, question, laugh and cry. No matter our age, background, or titles, at our core, we are all not so different, You & I.
This podcast is produced by More Good Media.
Episode Resources:
Jackie Kai Ellis: Website / Instagram
Bhavna Chauhan: LinkedIn
You & I Podcast: Website
Resources on finding trusted professional help can be found here.Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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For today’s mini episode, Jackie chose a question about loneliness, partly because the holiday season can feel quite lonely for so many reasons, for so many people, and she thought it might help to hear that you aren’t alone.
They write:
How do you navigate through the intensity of aloneness?
Tune in to hear how Jackie explores this week's question and make sure to listen until the end to hear the question we will be diving into on the next episode. And if you feel inspired to respond to this asker and are interested in being a guest of this episode, OR if you have a short word of wisdom for them, write to us on the contact page on youandipodcast.com or DM us on instagram at @youandi.podcast.
This podcast is produced by More Good Media.
Episode Resources:
Jackie Kai Ellis: Website / Instagram
You & I Podcast: Website
Resources on finding trusted professional help can be found here.Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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This week's question is one that we all struggle with in some way as we inevitably encounter moments of discomfort, however big or small.
They write:
"How can we learn to be comfortable, with being uncomfortable?"
Jackie digs into this universal topic with Brian Hart Hoffman. Brian was mustering the courage to say his final goodbyes to his mother, he shared some words his mother often repeated to him, “you can do hard things.” The perfect starting off point in a conversation centred around doing just that.
We hope that you get something helpful out of this conversation. If anything, know that you’re not alone. You see, we all struggle, mourn, yearn, question, laugh and cry. No matter our age, background, or titles, at our core, we are all not so different, You & I.
This podcast is produced by More Good Media.
Episode Resources:
Jackie Kai Ellis: Website / Instagram
You & I Podcast: Website
Resources on finding trusted professional help can be found here.Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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For this week's Mini Episode the question was supposed to be one we explored with an interview in the next episode. But the more Jackie thought about it the more she realized that she really wanted to write about this solo for this episode. It’s something that’s personal to her, something she has spent a decade asking myself, too.
They write:
How do you know he is the one?
Tune in to hear how Jackie explores this week's question and make sure to listen until the end to hear the question we will be diving into on the next episode. And if you feel inspired to respond to this asker and are interested in being a guest of this episode, OR if you have a short word of wisdom for them, write to us on the contact page on youandipodcast.com or DM us on instagram at @youandi.podcast.
This podcast is produced by More Good Media.
Episode Resources:
Jackie Kai Ellis: Website / Instagram
You & I Podcast: Website
Resources on finding trusted professional help can be found here.Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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This month's question centres around a universal topic that we all go through at some point in our lives, grief. Saying that, we want to provide a warning that this episode discusses sensitive topics such as death and trauma.
They write:
How does one just move on emotionally after a lot of trauma and grief. I am in therapy. I started this month but just remembering all the trauma from the past is a lot. I miss my dear late older sister. It’s been years since she gained her angel wings. Tuesday will be the one year anniversary of her funeral. My whole body is just mentally and physically drained out. I just wanted to remember the good.
We decided to name you, Hope.
Today’s guest is Jackie's cousin, Alicia Chung. Alicia has gone through a similar experience as "Hope" as she, too, has lost a sister. She, too, has grieved this very trauma, and still grieves it to this day. We decided to leave this interview largely unedited, leaving the repetitions, our struggling for words, our speechlessness. We left in the long moments of silence because they, like negative space, sometimes speak more than the words do and believe that this interview deserved to be heard this way.
We hope that you get something helpful out of this conversation. If anything, know that you’re not alone. You see, we all struggle, mourn, yearn, question, laugh and cry. No matter our age, background, or titles, at our core, we are all not so different, You & I.
This podcast is produced by More Good Media.
Episode Resources:
Jackie Kai Ellis: Website / Instagram
You & I Podcast: Website
Resources on finding trusted professional help can be found here.Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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For today’s mini episode, we have a question that inspired me to remember a time when I struggled with childlessness. Both the struggle with the decision to have a family, and the letting go of the hope of having one too.
They write:
I'm nearly 40, just left my 7.5 year relationship, and I worry I won't find someone 'in time'
Tune into the episode wherever you listen to your podcasts to hear Jackie ponder our listener's question and give her own personal experience navigating similar feelings.
This podcast is produced by More Good Media.
Episode Resources:
Jackie Kai Ellis: Website / Instagram
You & I Podcast: Website
Resources on finding trusted professional help can be found here.Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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For today's episode, we are excited to explore it with the question asker himself. Shea Evans has had a meandering career path, from snowboard instructor, to sushi chef, to photographer. And yet through all the successes in following his passions, he’s always left with the lingering question, “should I have (blank) by now?” in the back of his head.
In our conversation, we explore why we all ask this from time to time. How crying for something can stunt our happiness in the here and now, and even how it affected our dating lives in the past.
And make sure to tune in until the end of the episode to hear the question for next month. And if you have had the same personal experience and are interested in being a guest of that episode, OR if you have a short word of wisdom, write to us on the contact page on our Website or DM us on Instagram. And of course, please submit your questions there too.
Episode Resources:
Shea Evans: Instagram
Jackie Kai Ellis: Website / Instagram
More Good Media: Website / Instagram
You & I Podcast: Website
Resources on finding trusted professional help can be found here.Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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For today’s mini episode, we have a question that, in my opinion, hits the most crucial human struggle: how to love deeply, despite the potential of being hurt, despite possible rejection. How to love knowing one day you will need to also let go.
They write: How do I let go of people I love? Like watching my daughter go off to college or losing a friend.
We got this question over instagram, but we want to keep our askers anonymous so I’ve decided to name you…surrender.
It needs to be said, I am not a professional, just someone with some personal experience to share. I do hope this is helpful, but as always, take the advice that resonates and ignore what doesn't. And don’t hesitate to seek out professional help through a trusted source. There are resources on our website.
Tune into the episode wherever you listen to your podcasts to hear Jackie ponder our listener's question and give her own personal experience navigating similar feelings.
This podcast is produced by More Good Media.
Episode Resources:
Jackie Kai Ellis: Website / Instagram
You & I Podcast: Website
Resources on finding trusted professional help can be found here.Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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This month’s question is one we got from an asker on Instagram. It’s short and to the point, but tells a story of struggle that most of us have had – searching for our passion.
They write:
How can I find passion?
Because we keep all our askers anonymous, I’ve decided to call you daydreamer.
For those of us who have experienced the yearning and confusion that comes with seeking, we know all too well, that it feels…uncomfortable, even mournful. It feels like being stuck indoors on a beautiful day, or like wearing jeans two sizes too tight. It feels like we are holding two halves of ourselves that aren’t clicking together. I know it can feel agonizing not to have an outlet for our curiosity, feeling like we can’t, or don’t know how or where to express ourselves.
Jackie sits down with her guest Natasha Muslih who shares her journey from feeling lost, searching for passion and eventually finding her path by starting a travel company, the Voyagiste, combining her passion for creating stories and for storied places. We hope you get something helpful out of this…if anything, know that you’re not alone. You see, we all struggle, mourn, yearn, question, laugh and cry. No matter our age, background, or titles, at our core, we are all not so different, You & I.
And make sure to tune in until the end of the episode to hear the question for next month. And if you have had the same personal experience and are interested in being a guest of that episode, OR if you have a short word of wisdom, write to us on the contact page on our Website or DM us on Instagram. And of course, please submit your questions there too.
Episode Resources:
Jackie Kai Ellis: Website / Instagram
Natasha Muslih (The Voyagiste): Website
Wirth Hats: Website
More Good Media: Website / Instagram
You & I Podcast: Website
Resources on finding trusted professional help can be found here.Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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For today’s mini episode, I chose a question that seemed deceptively simple. One that I thought had a straightforward answer. But as I dig into the question, and related to the asker’s quest for belonging, I began to remember, re-trace my own path to where I found a sense of belonging, and what belonging means to me, as someone who never felt like they did belong anywhere.
They write:
As someone who is bi-coastal…having an identity crisis. Question: can a person maintain allegiance to both cities or have to choose one over the other? Feeling divided and conflicted!
We got this question over instagram, but we keep our askers anonymous so I’ve decided to name you…placeless. Thank you for your question, placeless.
It needs to be said, I am not a professional, just someone with some personal experience to share. I do hope this is helpful, but as always, take the advice that resonates and ignore what doesn't. And don’t hesitate to seek out professional help through a trusted source. There are resources on our website.
Tune into the episode wherever you listen to your podcasts to hear Jackie ponder our listener's question and give her own personal experience navigating similar feelings.
This podcast is produced by More Good Media.
Episode Resources:
Jackie Kai Ellis: Website / Instagram
You & I Podcast: Website
Resources on finding trusted professional help can be found here.Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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This month’s question brought up so many memories of my own past pain. It touched such a raw and deep place for me personally, so much so that I cried for my younger self, and for the many people out there that have felt this very same way too: wanting help, needing help but feeling like they don’t deserve to even ask for it.
They write:
How do you find the courage to speak with a therapist or find help in ways you might need but do not feel worthy of?
The asker didn’t leave a name, so I’ve decided to name them Worthwhile.
This Month's question gets to the heart of why I love spending the many hours on creating this podcast. I want to diffuse the shame around human hurt, the hurt we all go through, so often alone…so often needlessly…simply because no one had yet been brave enough to ask the question that Worthwhile did. Mental health isn’t always discussed openly, maybe because our culture creates shame and fear around even saying, “I need help.” It is my hope that this can be that safe space.
Our guest, Ben Miller, is someone who creates safe spaces. He founded WIRTH hats, a hat company that Provides financial assistance for counseling and therapy for those unable to afford it. It was inspired by two of his close friends, who took their own lives because they felt isolated and alone, and didn’t reach out for help. WIRTH’s mission is to destigmatize conversations about mental health, to make help as available as possible to those who might need it, through the hats that serve as a reminder that when going through difficult times, there are always people to reach out to, as we are never alone as we sometimes think we are.
And make sure to tune in until the end of the episode to hear the question for next month. And if you have had the same personal experience and are interested in being a guest of that episode, OR if you have a short word of wisdom, write to us on the contact page on our Website or DM us on Instagram. And of course, please submit your questions there too.
**I want to provide a warning that this episode discusses sensitive topics such as depression and suicide. If you, or someone you know needs support, there’s help at talksuicide.ca.
Episode Resources:
Jackie Kai Ellis: Website / Instagram
Ben Miller: Instagram
Wirth: Website / Instagram
More Good Media: Website / Instagram
You & I Podcast: Website
Resources on finding trusted professional help can be found here.Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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