Episódios
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Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
1:25 - Some of the most common traits and characteristics of a people pleaser.
5:00 - How the role of gender plays a part in people pleasing.
7:44 - Subtle language shifts parents can make to promote your child's ability to tune into themselves and their needs.
10:28 - Helping bridge and stretch your child's understanding of themselves and their needs without discounting their feelings.
14:20 - To help your child not become a people pleaser, it's helpful to teach them to tune into their internal compass so they know exactly what and how to please themselves.
16:25 - The more secure our attachment systems, the less likely we are to be chronically avoiding our own needs in the service of others.
21:34 - As millennial women, many of us have been conditioned to be people pleasers, so doing work on ourselves and modeling this to our children can have a major impact.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
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An exploration of healing trauma through presence, connection, and self-awareness.
Joining me to take us on this journey of discovery is licensed clinical psychologist Dr. Jacob Ham. Dr. Ham will offer listeners a deeper understanding of trauma's impact on a person's neurobiology and their interpretation of the world around them, while emphasizing the importance of our relationships as a means of healing. All parents will benefit from the wisdom he shares on reflective functioning and how we can use this to break cycles of intergenerational trauma and insecure attachment patterns with our own children.
By the end of this conversation, my hope is that you won't just have new information, but will feel a renewed appreciation for the power of presence and feel enlightened, inspired, and perhaps a bit changed!
JOIN DR. JACOB HAM'S NEWSLETTER:
https://drjacobham.com/
WANT ADDITIONAL PARENTING SUPPORT:
Click HERE to download my free guide that will teach you the 4 pillars of secure attachment that will allow you to focus on parenting with attunement and trust.
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Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
3:27 - How to use radical acceptance rather than trying to make everything "fair" or "equal" between siblings.
6:28 - Forging an individual relationship with each of your children and offering them one-on-one time separate from their siblings can be helpful.
9:43 - We tend to focus on the difficult moments (like when our kids are fighting) and often forget to log the good moments (like when they are getting along or even just peacefully coexisting).
13:05 - We can set conditions to maximize the likelihood that siblings will get along, but at the end of the day we can't ensure our kids will always have a strong relationship.
21:20 - Narrating what is happening versus focusing on your child's behaviors and telling them "they're being mean" or to "stop fighting" can be an easy, yet impactful shift.
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES ABOUT SIBLING FIGHTING:
- Navigating Sibling Fights
- How Can We Implement Consequences That Teach, Not Just Punish Our Kids
- Fostering Deep and Meaningful Relationships
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
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Trigger Warning: This episode involves topics related to postpartum psychosis, suicide, and infanticide.
In this eye-opening conversation, one mother is sharing her raw and unfiltered story of navigating a postpartum psychosis diagnosis, shedding light on this often misunderstood and stigmatized perinatal mood and anxiety disorder.
After the birth of her second son, Chelsea battled with intense challenges with postpartum depression, which eventually snowballed into postpartum psychosis.
As we delve into Chelsea's story, we aim to foster a space of empathy, understanding, and support. I hope her openness invites you to connect with the human side of maternal mental health struggles, acknowledging that each tale contributes to the larger call to action for early intervention and better support for women in healthcare.
RESOURCES FOR PERINATAL MOOD AND ANXIETY DISORDERS (PMADs) SUPPORT:
Postpartum Support International
The Motherhood Center in New York
If you or someone you know is thinking about suicide, call or text the Suicide Crisis Helpline at 988 in the US and Canada.
SECURELY ATTACHED PODCAST EPISODES ABOUT PMADs:
A breakdown of perinatal mood and anxiety disorders
How PMADs can affect new fathers
Shining a light on postpartum psychosis with Paige Bellenbaum
Addressing the crushing weight of parenthood with Dr. Christine Sterling
ADVOCATING FOR CHANGES TO MATERNAL MENTAL HEALTHCARE:
Chamber of Mothers
Canadian Perinatal Mental Health Collaborative (CPMHC)
Maternal Mental Health Leadership Alliance (MMHLA)
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Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
2:10 - Playing with gender norms is developmentally typical for preschoolers and is how they learn to make meaning of things.
3:12 - For most parents, this is less a worry of our child's playful experimentation and more about how the world will respond to them.
8:50 - You can have family rules and still be supportive of your child's experimentation and play - they are not mutually exclusive.
10:08 - We can be quick to jump to questioning what these actions mean for our child's identity development, but often at this age they are just playing.
10:45 - It's helpful to be mindful of the different societal expectations of boys versus girls with gender norms.
15:04 - Playing out the fantasy your child has in the moment can sometimes satisfy their desire.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
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Discover how to navigate bias and guide your children toward a future of genuine cultural understanding and allyship!
Join me for a vulnerable and honest conversation on how we can navigate bias, and nurture cultural and racial awareness and inclusivity in ourselves and our children with pediatric and clinical psychologist, Dr. Dana E. Crawford. Dr. Crawford is the developer of the Crawford Bias Reduction Theory & Training (CBRT), a systematic approach to reducing bias, prejudice, and racism, and she has recently opened pre-ordering for her newly released R.A.C.E. Cards aimed at helping foster open communication around issues of race.
In this episode, Dr. Crawford guides us on a journey of self-reflection, teaching about strategic vulnerability and the essential steps to reduce bias in our lives and in the way we raise our children. This episode promises to be a transformative experience, offering valuable insights that will stay with you long after the conversation ends.
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Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
2:20 - At 3 years old, kids often start to have more desires for autonomy.
4:13 - The more we can be a predictable container and create consistent routines and boundaries for our kids, the less they will feel a need to test limits.
7:30 - Theory of Mind is the ability to understand that there are perspectives different from one's own. This only starts coming online at around 5 years old.
10:42 - Understanding your 3-year-old's brain development helps you to take their behaviors less personally.
11:55 - Building distress tolerance and impulsivity control will ultimately translate into executive functioning skills over time.
16:24 - How to stretch your child to help them to get from A to Z.
19:20 - There is a whole different skill set for doing something when you don't feel like doing it versus just the skill required to perform the specific task in and of itself (like getting dressed in the morning versus getting dressed in the morning WHEN YOU'D RATHER BE PLAYING).
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
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Discover how being self-aware and intentional in your actions can shape your children's emotional resilience!
Joining me today is licensed clinical social worker and the author of 13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do, Amy Morin.
In this episode, Amy and I are shedding light on how parents, couples, and friends can harness this empowering mindset. From fostering curiosity and confidence to navigating complex emotions like guilt and values like honesty and kindness, we're providing you with practical tools for strengthening your own mental wellness and raising mentally resilient kids, too.
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Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
3:28 - This age is when "stranger danger" and object permanence comes online with typical cognitive development.
6:47 - Crying to alert you that they don't prefer being held by another safe adult that is not Mom doesn't always mean they are in distress.
9:41 - Building resilience means reflecting our child's feelings back to them and staying calm in the face of that upset - your feelings are real, and they're safe.
12:05 - Self-regulating and titrating your responsiveness are two key elements of intervening in this exchange.
17:42 - When is this a matter of being held (by a safe adult), and when is this a matter of respecting their bodily autonomy and teaching consent when your child is a baby?
In this episode, I talked about The Authentic Parent. CLICK HERE if you want to learn more about my self-paced course that teaches you how to confidently move through your first year of parenthood.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
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Unlock the transformative power of understanding and connecting with your child's ADHD brain - rather than fighting against it!
Joining me is the founder of Russell Coaching for Students and the author of Asking the Right Questions Before, During, and After Your Child’s ADHD Diagnosis, Dr. Norrine Russell.
If you have a child with ADHD, you won't want to miss this episode where we're sharing personal insights, evidence-based techniques, and empowering strategies to guide parents on a journey towards fostering empathy, embracing your child's strengths, and helping them reach their full potential.
PRODUCTS FOR ADDITIONAL SUPPORT THAT I LOVE:
If your child (or you!) has ADHD, you're going to love all the products from BestSelf as much as I do! CLICK HERE and use code DRSARAHBREN15 to save 15% off your entire purchase!
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Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
1:52 - When is it appropriate to seek help from a mental health professional to help your child manage their anxiety and fears?
4:40 - How to identify the difference between our child's natural desire for information versus a desire for us to soothe their anxiety.
8:45 - Addressing concepts like death with your child is difficult because it is a scary thing for adults to confront too, which can lead to parents to do more accommodating than is actually helpful long-term.
13:05 - Asking yourself "why now?" - Working to identify if there is anything that activated this sudden shift so you can work toward targeting the root of the problem.
14:48 - Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions (SPACE) is a great resource for parents:
LISTEN: Listen to my interview with the creator of SPACE, Dr. Eli Lebowitz
READ: Breaking Free of Childhood Anxiety and OCD by Dr. Eli Lebowitz
THERAPY SERVICES: If you are in NY State and would like to learn about Upshur Bren Psychology Group's SPACE individual and group therapy options, click here to learn more.
18:38 - What to Do When You Worry Too Much and What to Do When Your Brain Gets Stuck are workbooks we use in our practice and are helpful resources to use with your child.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
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Did you know that a staggering 67% of couples experience a dip in relationship satisfaction after the birth of a child?
Joining me is clinical psychologist, couples therapist, and sought-after relationship expert, Dr. Tracy Dalgleish. Dr. Tracy is the founder of Be Connected Digital, the author of I Didn’t Sign Up for This, and the host of the I'm Not Your Shrink podcast.
Today, we discuss how to signal for support and communicate our needs (even when sleep-deprived) to our partner, the impact our new identity as parents has on our relationships, and how to navigate the mental load of parenthood.
Our hope is to normalize the struggles many parents face in this season, offering a reassuring message: you are not alone and there are things you can do to strengthen your partnership and deepen your connection.
EPISODE SHOW NOTES:
Click Here
DR. TRACY'S FREE GUIDE:
10 Scripts for Defensiveness
WANT ADDITIONAL PARENTING SUPPORT:
Click HERE to check out my 2.5 hour on-demand parenting course, The Science of Tantrums, that teaches you the exact tools you need for responding in the moment and reducing your toddler's tantrums over time.
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>>> Enrollment is now open for Parenting by Design, my simple, evidenced-based coaching program for parenting your sensitive child in a way that increases cooperation, discharges power struggles, and rebuilds their trust in your authority–all while supporting your child’s mental health and your own.
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
3:50 - At 3-years-old you need to physically be a container for your child, so you might need to be more intentional about what environments are conducive for that during this stage.
7:28 - Try to incorporate moments where you notice the good and use positive reinforcement to supplement the discipline you need to do.
9:38 - When we discipline a child, they may feel ashamed, guilty, or embarrassed, which can cause them to become more dysregulated (but that doesn't necessarily mean we are doing something wrong).
13:48 - "A kid needs a target if we want them to hit that target."
17:20 - It's okay to give your child an out to allow them to save face when they are doing something "wrong."
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
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>>> HEAD HERE TO GRAB THE FREEBIE FOR THIS EPISODE: Your Step-By-Step Guide for How to Change Your Child's Behavior in Just 3 Weeks!
Back by popular demand! For parents who want to learn my simple framework for how to change your child's behavior in just 3 weeks!
In this episode, I am breaking down the 10 simple steps I teach to the families in my clinical practice to help them make small shifts to their own behavior that will result in some big changes in their child.
Plus, download my interactive workbook for an easy-to-follow, customized game plan you can use to start seeing meaningful change leading to more cooperation and family harmony!
And for a limited-time only, join me in Parenting by Design, my coaching program for parents of sensitive kids that teaches you how to increase cooperation, discharge power struggles, and rebuild your child's trust in your authority–all while supporting their mental health and your own.
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Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
4:33 - Breaking down what "don't overthink the lava" means and how to use that in your parenting.
9:05 - The content of the lava is not the problem we need to solve and spending time and energy on this can reduce our bandwidth.
10:48 - When you have a sensitive child who demands a lot of support, you need to get a tighter grip on your energetic resources.
13:46 - How to optimize your energetic resources and find effective support options to prevent burnout.
16:35 - If you want a framework for managing your child's challenging behaviors, check out my coaching program, Parenting by Design, that empowers moms, dads, and caregivers of sensitive children.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
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Discover how the principles of ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) can revolutionize the way you manage the complexities of everyday life.
Joining me to help busy parents learn science-backed strategies to ditch guilt, manage overwhelm, and grow meaningful connections is Dr. Yael Schonbrun.
In this episode, Dr. Schonbrun shares actionable insights and strategies to help you thrive in your many roles. Whether you're a parent seeking to raise well-adjusted and healthy kids, a partner yearning for a solid and loving relationship, or a working parent striving for balance in your career, this discussion is tailored just for you.
Hit play to learn how to enhance your parenting, partnership, and career journey!
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Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
5:10 - Approaching the situation without shame and trying to do our best not to go to the meeting at the school from a defensive frame of mind.
7:55 - Zooming out from the behavior itself to try to understand what types of emotions are leading to these outbursts will allow us to be more effective in "treating" it.
9:50 - Creating a relationship between you and your child's teacher to establish open lines of communication from the beginning of the year can be helpful.
18:02 - If your child is having a lot of meltdowns in school, they are likely hitting an overload point.
20:06 - Identifying if there have been any big changes in a child's life can help you track down the root issue that could be causing their behavioral issues.
20:28 - Ross Greene's Unmet Needs and Lagging Skills framework can be useful for parents in these situations.
24:25 - Communicating to the child that they are having a hard time and we are there to help them to change the behavior, rather than focusing on the behavior itself.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
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Would you say you're a 👁️ visual or an 👂🏼 auditory learner? What if I told you that the research has actually debunked the theory that learning styles even exist?
So, then what actually is the best way for helping our kids to learn, feel successful, and become resilient?
That is exactly what I’ll be talking about with University of Virginia Professor of Psychology and the author of several amazing books, including the best-selling Why Don't Students Like School?, and most recently, Outsmart Your Brain, Dr. Dan Willingham.
In this episode we’re shedding light on the factors that influence a child's sense of self-efficacy, the importance of a growth mindset, and the delicate balance between praising effort and problem-solving for success.
Whether you’re a parent, teacher, or clinician, this is an episode you won’t want to miss!
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Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
2:22 - Understanding the distinction between bribery and rewards, so you can be most effective in motivating your child.
5:05 - How to use rewards to help our children learn a new habit.
6:50 - A bribe is a tool in a parents toolbox, it's about knowing when to use that tool so you are doing it intentionally and not just falling back on it.
8:07 - A reward is to build momentum, not to sustain a behaviors for a long period of time.
9:10 - When using a reward system, we want to try to help our child notice the internal pleasure they derive from an experience, separate from the external reward.
11:30 - What the research reveals about the difference between using rewards for mundane tasks and chores (like brushing teeth) versus activities that are intrinsically rewarding (like reading, drawing, or practicing an instrument).
18:10 - Being intentional about the choices you make and working to use your parenting tools from a place of confidence rather than anxiety.
21:48 - What are other tools you can use to increase cooperation instead of bribery or rewards?
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
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Uncover proven techniques to manage anxiety, guilt, and overwhelming emotions, empowering you to parent with confidence. 👩👧
Joining me this week is Dr. Ilyse Dobrow DiMarco. Ilyse is the Founder/Director of the North Jersey Center for Anxiety and Stress Management and the author of Mom Brain: Proven Strategies to Fight the Anxiety, Guilt, and Overwhelming Emotions of Motherhood—and Relax into Your New Self.
This episode is a must-listen for all new and seasoned moms, with actionable insights, real-world advice, and a fresh perspective on being the parent you want to be. We're offering you guidance on finding joy, letting go of perfectionism, and making decisions aligned with your values!
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