Human behavior is something I'm completely fascinated by these days. Learning how the mind works and why we cling so tightly to specific beliefs. I understand there is a level of comfort that comes from firm beliefs, but in my opinion it hinders our growth. Anytime we believe we KNOW things with certainty, it blocks us from ever expanding beyond what we currently understand.
Often times we just become robots, programmed as a child in order to fit the societal mold.
Today I'm talking about my midlife crisis that started 3 years ago, but became overwhelmingly intense the last 3 months.
Going into all the things that have contributed to my "falling apart" right before my 40th birthday.
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Emotional Eating Coach, Andrea at ThingsAndreaSays.com is going to walk us through some of the reasons why we might be feeling stuck when it comes with finding the discipline and willpower to stick with our protocol.
Sharing my business journey story and all the different endeavors I pursued beginning at age 15.
Let's talk shit, bowel movements and gut health. Talking about Sean's struggles dealing with various gastrointestinal issues over many years.
Also listing several things we both tried in order to improve our gut health. Coffee enemas, fiber overload, probiotics, kombucha, fermented vegetables, etc.
Shelly DeWitt Johnson was born and raised in a very strict and patriarchal religion. She got married young and had 7 children. At age 40 she left the religion and culture that had been the biggest part of her life. After starting to deal with that trauma, she realized that she was gay, which added a whole new set of issues. Not long after, she got divorced. As a single Mom with no college education she had to start her life again at age 43.
Shelly met her girlfriend Mary and they started a podcast called Latter-Day Lesbian. The podcast became an instant hit with listeners recovering from religion, and listeners in the LGBTQ community. The podcast is raw and vulnerable, yet healing and downright hilarious.
Along with her ongoing recovery from emotional and spiritual trauma, Shelly has now added a focus on physical health as she continues on her journey of overall wellness.
I've been a fan of John Gray, Author of Men Are From Mars Women are From Venus, since I was 19 years old. Can you believe that?
I had the amazing opportunity to interview him on my podcast. He shared some incredible advice on marriage and relationships.
John helps men and women better understand and respect their differences in both personal and professional relationships.
He has appeared repeatedly on Oprah, as well as on The Dr. Oz Show, TODAY, CBS This Morning, Good Morning America, and others. He has been profiled in Time, Forbes, USA Today, and People. He was also the subject of a three-hour special hosted by Barbara Walters.
I can confidently say that Sean and I are EXPERTS at arguing. We have a lot of experience when it comes to having disagreements in marriage. Allow us to teach you exactly what NOT to do.
This is a raw uncut episode. As we started recording the episode Sean got ultra vulnerable and shared some never before told stories.
I left the room while he recorded but when I listened to it back I was pleasantly surprised with what he chose to share.
For many years I’ve been paralyzed with the fear that I don’t have anything unique to offer this world. It’s caused me to unintentionally block the flow of inspiration and creativity.
I’ve been really diving deeper and trying to identify what makes me unique. And I wanted to share some of my insights as I’ve been making a conscious effort in this area.
I think it all comes down to the belief I had that there is nothing left to invent or create. It was more of a subconscious belief that I uncovered by asking myself a lot of questions.
When I read books I noticed some common themes. They all have similar messages, just different ways of saying it. But I still LOVE reading them and always feel I’m able to gain something new. My understanding of a concept deepens as I read all the different ways people express it.
I was having this conversation with Sean the other day and I was comparing it to chocolate chip cookies. Have you ever googled “chocolate chip cookie recipes”?
I used to wonder as a little girl, why do people always claim they have the BEST recipe for chocolate chip cookies? Chocolate chip cookies are chocolate chip cookies, right?
A little butter, flour, salt, eggs, vanilla, sugar, and chocolate chips. What I didn’t realize is that one slight adjustment to a recipe can completely change the composition, taste or texture of a cookie. It’s quite miraculous and even inspiring. Kinda makes you see the endless possibilities we have available to us.
We have universal truths. Things that most of us can agree on, like...
Love is the answer...
Doing good can make you happy...
Taking care of your body is an important component to having a good quality of life...
And that there is a part of us that wants to grow and evolve…
When we take universal truths/ ingredients, we can create our own unique recipe by simply adding in a few secret ingredients. These are ingredients that nobody else has access to.
We add a cup of our personality, with a pinch of our own life experiences, combine it all together and bake for (enter your age) years until the outer edge is slightly golden brown.
THIS is what makes everything we do and say totally unique. We can build upon the things that we learn from other people by simply adding in our own special sauce.
In this episode Sean shares his crisis during the crisis.
"The humbling moment in life when everything you've endured for so long suddenly feels worth it.
When you are finally able to make sense of all of the confusion and frustration.
When everything you have experienced was obviously meant to forge your path moving forward."
I used to believe that the AMOUNT of things I got done was equal to my value as a women/ mother.
Procrastination, perfectionism, and productivity was all intermingled with my misinterpretation around the goal to "become like Christ".
I didn't realize I was striving for an unattainable goal of perfection. I desperately wanted to BE what others told me I should be, constantly hustling for my worthiness.
Laura Hernandez vulnerably shares her struggles with her health and weight after years of research and working at perfecting her diet.
In a facebook post she recently shared her experience after 11 days on what we're calling the ER Shred.
"I wish I could just say I had “let myself go” in that first pic, & that I made a decision to get “healthy” in that 2nd pic, bc that would have been easier. But, NOTHING could be further from the truth, as my close friends & family can attest to how hard I exercise everyday & how clean I eat 90% of the time!"
100 Episodes!!!! Wow! I'm so dang proud of that.
Here's a recap of what those 100 episodes are about;
1-20 was the beginning stages of a LOT of personal development which ultimately led to the choice to leave our life long religion.
21-99 was basically our entire journey and all the different phases we experienced after leaving the church.
Now starting season 4 and going a slightly different direction. We will be discussing all different kinds of topics around personal growth and development as well as sprinkling in some Mormon Enlightenment interviews and discussions.
Use your past to enhance your present.
It all comes down to the way we tell our story.
Were you the victim? Or were you the hero?
Train your brain to notice what was good about the way your life has played out.
Ask, how is this happening FOR me and not to me?
When we leave Mormonism, we also leave behind our community to some extent.
But when we become so focused on what was lost, or our lack of something, our brain stops trying to find solutions.
When we begin focusing on what we WANT, believing that it's on it's way, then suddenly we open ourselves up to creativity and BOOM, the answers (or people), arrive.
When I was 10 years old I had a traumatic experience that caused me to feel overwhelming SHAME. A year later I finally gained the courage to "confess" it to my bishop.
Growing up in the Mormon Church (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints) I adapted this belief that my leaders, bishop, priesthood holders, elders, and prophets were the ones with the final say regarding my worthiness.
Now I see how this has contributed to my need for validation and approval from others. Instead of being grounded in my inner knowing, the truth about ME, I gave my power away and silenced the true me that KNOWS I'm enough, worthy, and pure, NO. MATTER. WHAT.
A few years ago I was at my wits end with all my bottled up Mormon Mom emotions. So much guilt, jealousy, envy, and pressure to do everything amazing all the time with a perfect smile on my face.
I was desperate for help. I prayed, I studied scriptures, and had conference talks playing on repeat all day.
I could never find anything that spoke to me, or that offered any kind of relief from my inner suffering.
Until one day I found a podcast by an LDS life coach. Ironically she was the one that released me from my living Mormon hell. She taught me one simple truth. That I could choose to believe what ever I wanted to believe.
I know some might say, "well, of course we get to choose what we believe". But I literally did NOT know this. I thought I was supposed to believe what the CHURCH told me to believe.
They taught me it was the one and ONLY way, the ONLY true church, and the ONLY path to live a happy life full of blessings.
Since leaving the church and experiencing for myself whether or not that is true, I've come to discover that it is NOT.
I've been wanting to talk about alcohol consumption for a while now but haven't felt I was in a place to really give any kind of useful advice.
I've been battling my own internal struggle ever since we allowed drinking to be part of our lifestyle. Not about the shame and guilt from the church, but mostly just fears around my health and addiction.
Here is an interview with Kyla Faye Dickerson. She shares her story growing up in the Mormon church and getting married in the temple. Eventually she gained the courage to live her truth by leaving the church and discovering a whole new way of seeing her life and the world.