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My husband's dream house is a ginormous monstrosity in the Caribbean. A place where our family connections weakened in the square footage and junk we collected. In all honesty, I hate it. Though I always tried to like it for his sake. When the pandemic happened, we moved to our small condo in Florida. Since the move, we are more connected, have more heartfelt conversations, and have stronger familial bonds became. We are going, tiny mamas! It's my turn to have my dream home!
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My biggest challenge was and still is not the pandemic. It was that my girls became teenagers. Yes, things have changed! I have to remind myself that even if they look more like adults, they are not adults! So hard to remember! They behave as though every decision they make is final, so they often feel overwhelmed. And they act out! On top of all this, I also have to help my husband not lose his mind. I continuously remind myself this is temporary. One day the teen years will be over!
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Eksik bölüm mü var?
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Since the New Year is around the corner, I'm going to talk about changes. This year, I have to decide (again) whether or not we'll home school the following year; I'm fighting my husband about returning to our home in the Caribbean; the girls will be turning fourteen, and it feels like it's the beginning of them leaving our home behind. There are so many possibilities. I don't feel scared, but I feel a little overwhelmed.
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I'm fifty-four years old, and I believe in Santa Claus! Why? Because I believe in the goodness of humanity. I really believe that Santa represents the best of humanity -- hope and kindness. I'm glad that I have fostered my children's belief in Santa Claus. Because, by extension, I am reinforcing their ability to hope, be kind, and receive kindness.
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I'm fifty-four years old, and I believe in Santa Claus! Why? Because I believe in the goodness of humanity. And I really believe that Santa represents the best of humanity, be it a meal, a much-needed hug, a new toy, a used toy, a kind word. Santa is the best that humanity has to give to one another, hope and kindness. I believe that by helping my children believe in magic, I help Santa keep that magic alive, hope, and kindness, not only during Christmas time but throughout the year.
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November 21st is a special day because that's when the elves on the shelf come home. This year, the elves didn't check-in during the year. I tried to bribe them to visit us early, but they wouldn't be bribed! I miss their visits. They bring the magic of childhood—magic so strong that it goes back and brings out the best in my own childhood memories. The elves represent hope—of better behavior, overcoming challenges, a glimpse into a future with grandchildren.
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I took thanksgiving for granted, thinking that there would always be another in which I would enjoy my family and friends. Then the pandemic hit, making sure I will never take this special holiday for granted ever again! I am so grateful for my friends and family that we have not lost any of them in the pandemic despite several becoming very ill. I'm grateful for my husband and children. I'm thankful that despite all the challenges we have faced this year, I can still recognize that I have a lot to be grateful for.
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As parents, we have this idea that our children should be perfect. But do we really expect perfection? It's healthy not to always be perfect. Nothing's wrong with stepping back and saying that something is not just for us. We all go through phases in our lives, especially our kids—lying, unpleasant habits, slacking—these are things that we need to experience. It's normal. I just hope that through their phases and experiences, my kids learn to be the best versions of themselves that they can be.
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It takes too much effort to be perfect. But in reality, we, as human beings and as moms, cannot be perfect. So let's try instead to be great moms. We have to accept that we will never have all the answers, and our kids should know that. They should know that we, too, make mistakes but are willing to learn from them and that we'll exert every effort to make them the very best version of themselves that they could possibly be.
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I'm struggling with whether or not we should celebrate the Day of the Dead this year. Somehow, it just feels wrong in a year when the world feels like it's falling around us. But at the same time, it seems wrong not to do it at a point where my daughter is exploring her Mexican heritage. After all, the Day of the Dead is a celebration of life, human resilience over tragedy, and a celebration of culture.
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We have always enjoyed Halloween. However, we were not sure we would be celebrating this year due to the pandemic. Still, I had to get creative, just I had been during the below zero Halloweens! I couldn't allow this Halloween to slip through my fingers when I have so few left with my girls! They are 13! Soon they will off to college! Luckily I will have my little bug for a few more years to make the transitions easier.
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Have you ever had the mom meltdown? It's when you literally feel like butter melting by the heat of all the responsibilities and commitments you have. I love my husband and my children, but that doesn't mean I don't get overwhelmed sometimes. I try to spend individual time with my children and husband, and by night time, I'm just so exhausted! So I have a meltdown now and again because I need this break, and I should be able to take it without guilt!
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Have you ever witnessed teens in shouting matches with their parents, siblings hitting each other, or teens throwing tantrums like two-year-olds? As older parents, we didn’t want to go through this! We have avoided it so far by parenting with a purpose. We focused on natural consequences and problem-solving skills, modeled good behavior, and apologized when we made mistakes. Are our kids perfect? Nope! But we don’t feel overwhelmed as we go through these naturally rebellious years.
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One of the toughest moments as a mother was when one of my twins was released from the NICU. I was terrified I would not be able to handle the baby coming home with me and mortified that I had left one of my babies in the hospital. Guilt, fear, and anger ate at me, marring what I thought would be the happiest times as a new mom!
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The worst part about my difficult pregnancy was spending the entirety of it losing it. Everyday agonizing if that were the moment I would miscarry. Seeing the spotting on my panties, rushing to the hospital in labor time after time, forcing myself to undergo stressful and painful procedures in the hope I could save my babies. Knowing I had no control, it broke me. I disconnected from my precious cargo to keep my sanity to survive what should have been one of the happiest moments in my life.
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When Dora came to live with us, she had a very poor attitude. It shocked me that she thought being mean was fun. But I really love her so I refused to give up. She deserved my commitment. It took facing her old life for her to realize that she was changing and she liked who she was becoming! When we gifted her an e-bike on her birthday (just like with the twins), she burst into tears in my arms for the first time. And for the first time, she realized that she had all of us, too! She was home!
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When we commit to being moms, we may feel that everything becomes so overwhelming. While it's a wonderful choice, it's not always easy. So we need to take some time to recharge. I think I would have been a better mother had I been willing to allow others to help me take care of my kids. We need to accept that they're loved by other people, and we need to enable our kiddos to bond with others. In doing so, we also get to rest. Because while motherhood is a beautiful choice, we need to rest to be the best mothers we can be!
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I’m no longer hiding from YouTube! And why was I hiding at all, I can’t help but realize that it stems back to my mother, the way she always put me down. Now so many years later, while I don’t lack confidence, I do continue to lack a comfort level about myself. It is something that I’ve always kept in mind with my own kiddos. They all came to me with such different levels of natural confidence. I do everything I can to bolster them. I know I'm going to make mistakes. We all do with our children. But, I'm going to do my best, to be the best mother that I can be til the day that I die.
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We hit a lot of bumps on the road before we got a happy ending in our journey with daycare providers and nannies -- from terrible nannies, accident-prone sitters, and trips to the emergency room. Daycare providers aren't doing us a favor. We pay for the service so we have a right to receive that service. Always trust your instincts. When you do find that service that works for you, I can tell you that it is wonderful to be able to trust someone and feel that our children are being well taken care of.
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