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This week, I chat about a whole bunch of different branches of Asexuality and some personal viewpoints of what it's like living as an Ace person in a world full of hyper sexuality. For the one percenters in this entire world, Ace people have so many different sub-categories, if you will, of how you can identify as Asexual.
For those who think being Asexual is linear, think again!
Slumflower Hour Podcast
www.kendrakphoto.com
IG @kendrakphoto
TikTok @kendrakphoto -
Yuki is back! During pride month we decided to just go for it and record an episode, my first video episode with another guest! There is no real theme, or topic for this episode, aside from padam, if you know you know. However, we both could not stop laughing during this whole episode, and I think you will too!
We chat about everything LGBTQIA, including some icons we love, some past important dates in America for our community, queer reality love shows and a whole bunch of online questions and prompts!
If you want to follow along with Yuki and her journey, you can find her on Instagram @yukis_rhythmjournal
www.kendrakphoto.com
IG @kendrakphoto
TikTok @kendrakphoto -
Eksik bölüm mü var?
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I first want to mention on this episode that I am slowly but surely getting used to video... When the photographer isn't behind the lens, how does she know she's blurry the whole entire video?? We're learning, but still posting and showing up blurry because it's where I was at this day.
A back to back solo episode and one where I quite literally free-balled the whole thing. I decided to dedicate this episode to letting you all know where I am at in life now, what the past month has looked like, and how I have been suppressing my authenticity for quite some time- in hopes that someone out there can also relate or feel similarly. To have a platform such as a podcast to be able to come and openly express vulnerability, hard topics, personal details and opinions, has all but helped me in my quest to get back to being authentically me. For years now, thanks pandemic, I have truly not felt like myself and worse, felt like I could not fully express myself. Being in business for yourself, marketing yourself, selling people on working with the idea of who you are, etc. is a big part of who and how I need to be in business and in life. Expression and creativity are two huge pillars of who I am deep down and the work that I do for my clients. These past few years have been a little rocky for me personally and within my business and It all boils down to me not being my authentic self. Well, I happy to say that those days are slowly becoming a distant memory, and I am slowly but surely awakening to who I was, who I am and who I want to be.
Come listen, share your thoughts, share your stories and as always, let me know what you would like to hear on future episodes on this podcast!
Click the links below to find me on others platforms!
Kendra K Photo IG
Kendra K Photo Youtube
Kendra K Photo Website
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In the land of the free... Don't you think everyone deserves to be? Pride Month 2023
This month is a special month. It's Pride month and for me, it's my first Pride month being out as queer and asexual! What a time to celebrate right? I hoped so, but this month is coming with a very heavy sadness to it. For the first time on over 40 years, the LGBTQIA + community is under a national state of emergency issued by the Human Rights Campaign. Although this is a time to celebrate, and we'll do our damndest to still try. This year comes with a huge dark cloud above us, one that seemingly is becoming bigger and bigger by the day. We are under attack, we are not safe, we our losing our rights, we are dying. And day by day more anti-LGBTQ laws are being passed before our very eyes. More people are being erased, more children at risk of not seeing themselves grow up in a world that will refuse them health care to simply be who they are. This is a time to celebrate us and we will continue to do so in the face of such adversity. But now- we need even more love, even more hope and even more help to get us and this country through this incredible wave of hate and discrimination we have been facing.
Choose to be apart of change and to be apart of equality for all. Stand up, use your voice, use your right to vote and make sure to go about everything with love. Love is the only thing that can get us to a state of equality, safety and human rights for all. Choose to love your neighbor, even if you don't understand them and show them the same compassion you would show yourself, your family member, you pet, or a dear friend. No one deserves to feel like they do not belong and no one deserves to have their very rights stripped away from them in a country that they were born into.
We deserve more than this country.
Human Rights Campaign
Kendra K Photo IG
Kendra K Photo Youtube
Kendra K Photo Website
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One heron, two heron's, three! Ever since Lindsay and I met, there has always been a magical force that surrounds us. It feels like a little protection barrier that allows us to shine, express and share our truth every time we collaborate. From the magical three herons we saw when we met for Lindsay's photoshoot, to this podcast, where she came over to my home in Bellingham to record this episode!
Lindsay is such a wise woman. Her insights, teachings, words, lived experiences, queerness, ancestral knowledge and so so much more, makes her a very honored guest to share space with. I learned so much more about queerness, somatic healing, pleasures, and ways to connect deeper and further with yourself, without outside or internal biases. I am always remind of nature when I am with Lindsay and the power that land and nature hold.
Lindsay's Mentor Dr. Rocio Rosales Meza
Lindsay Dickes Website
Lindsay Dickes IG
Linsdays recommendations
Books My Grandmothers Hands by Resmaa Menakem
and Pleasure Activism: The Politics of Feeling Good by Adrienne Maree Brown
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Bb's first time traveling internationally, SOLO!
As I recover from sickness from said solo travel, come listen to me chat about what I loved the most about this trip! As someone who is on their own 24/7 and also traveled in a van solo for 2 years, I knew that I was ready for this trip! At 30 mind you. It has still taken me quite some time to muster up the courage to travel internationally on my own, but damn it was worth it! The amount of freedom, confidence and childlike whimsy I experienced on this trip is very much similar to a therapy session. Travel is my therapy. But also, therapy is therapy too ;)
Want to be a guest on the podcast? Send me a message, always looking for new people to talk to!
IG/TikTok @kendrakphoto
www.kendrakphoto.com
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WOW- one of my favorite episodes so far. It's always treat to bear witness to the incredible human that is Nica/Nico Selvaggio (they/them) Nico is someone that exudes vulnerability, compassion, talent, knowledge and who is overall, someone who creates their own space in this world and is just someone that I admire deeply. In this episode Nico and I discuss an ever going topic this podcast seems to see, celibacy, and Nico's recent journey with being sober and navigating their ever changing life in Hawaii. We talk grief, loss, healing, cannabis, working for yourself, being intentionally single and intentionally celibate. What an immense joy it was to have this conversation, I hope you all love it as much as I did.
I knew from before we even recorded this episode that this would be my longest recording on this podcast, \and right I was. I feel like Nico and I could of talked for two more hours, but we'll have to save that for another interview in the future.
Following Nico at @nicaselvaggio on Instagram along with @nonbinarybodyimageproject & @wildmourning
Want to be a guest on the podcast? Send me a message, always looking for new people to talk to!
IG/TikTok @kendrakphoto
www.kendrakphoto.com
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For over half of my life, I have subjected myself to watching these terrible reality love shows. And for what?! To walk away every season disappointed and quite frankly pissed off at the people they choose to be contestants on these shows. Knowing that every season is the same damn thing happening over and over again. I quite literally feel like I am in the Twilight Zone. It's the same stuff, the same people, the same breakups, the same communication barriers and the same patterns every dang episode and season. Well guess what? I QUIT!!
Come listen to me talk/vent about the ridiculousness and the glaring whiteness that centers these reality shows that most of us almost feel programmed to watch. And hear what I have started to watch now instead!
Want to be a guest on the podcast? Send me a message, always looking for new people to talk to!
IG/TikTok @kendrakphoto
www.kendrakphoto.com
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This weeks interview episode is with two best friends, and photography clients of mine, Adair and Tori! I met these two a couple years ago when they both hired me to do a best friend photoshoot! They had an amazing little week of friendship celebration that also included tattoos, matching piercings and a boudoir photoshoot! When we had our session I remember vividly how they both spoke about being Asexual and knew I had to have them on a episode of this podcast. At the time, for me, I knew I was on the spectrum of asexuality, and to hear them both so candidly talking about being asexual, set off a bigger spark in me years ago, when I was in the initial stages of just thinking about this podcast.
Come listen to two people who have identified as being Asexual since their adolescent years, and all of the new things that I learned on this episode from Adair and Tori!
Want to be a guest on the podcast? Send me a message, always looking for new people to talk to!
IG/TikTok @kendrakphoto
www.kendrakphoto.com
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This weeks solo episode, I will be adding onto my last solo episode, Compulsory Sexuality Pt. 1.
Compulsory Sexuality is the idea that everyone thinks and feels the same about sex. We all want it, we all need it, we all have to have it in order to be functioning members of society and productive humans. And one of the bigger ideas and displays of normative heterosexuality, is that women are subservient to men and that men are owed sex from women. But also, that they are just "owed" sex in general. Women are one of the more ostracized groups of individuals affected by compulsory heterosexuality, alongside with people of color, people on the LGBTQIA spectrum and children.
This episode doesn't shy away from touchy subjects. When it comes to something as serious as compulsory sexuality and how is relates and purely operates through many facets of life that we are aware of today, it's hard not to dive into the topic. The deplorable meaning behind it, how is exploits women, children and how it dehumanizes people of color, especially black women. Compulsory sexuality and compulsory heterosexuality was and is created for men and how we operate as a society, world and country, is in reflection of what is traditionally expected of a woman and of a man. Or, those with a penis vs those with a vagina.
and since we're on the topic, sex in general was create for men, by men.
Thanks for listening and feel free to send in any questions of things you would like to add to this topic!My education on this topic aside from a little bit of Google has been this book, Refusing Compulsory Sexuality, A Black A-Sexual Lens on our Sex Obsessed Culture by Sherronda J. Brown (They/Them) I highly recommend this book to everyone. Even if you are someone who experience's sexuality and sexual desires in a way relating to compulsory sexuality, this is still a good read to get a perspective on those who do not. Tell me what you think about this episode! Part 2 will be out after my next interview episode!
TW: Violence, generational trauma, SA, rape, death, discrimination to those marginalized
Want to be a guest on the podcast? Send me a message, always looking for new people to talk to!
IG/TikTok @kendrakphoto
www.kendrakphoto.com
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Tantra. Don't lie, you know the first thing you think about when you hear this word is sex. But- Lona is here today to reassure you that Tantra, first and foremost, starts from within and bigger than the correlation to sex and partnership, tantra can be expressed and practiced on your own! MIND BLOWN.
But in all reality, as Lona so eloquently states on this Podcast Interview, "It always starts with the individual, always, every-time. If you don't learn how to do it on an individual level, you can become reliant on someone else to give you this magical, blissful feeling." Which we can all access on our own! What I have learned from Lona over the years is that Tantra is a state of being. Come listen to us chat Tantra and Tantra while single.
Lona IG @makespaceforinfinity
Land Acknowledgement - Lummi Nation, Nooksack Tribe (Bellingham, WA) and the Squamish Tribe (Bremerton, WA)
Want to be a guest on the podcast? Send me a message, always looking for new people to talk to!
IG/TikTok @kendrakphoto
www.kendrakphoto.com
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This weeks solo episode, I will be chatting about compulsory sexuality. This topic will definitely be a two parter, as there is a lot to discuss.
Compulsory Sexuality is the idea that everyone thinks and feels the same about sex. We all want it, we all need it, we all have to have it in order to be functioning members of society and productive humans. Compulsory sexuality also upholds western norms on sex which is also aligned with Compulsory Heterosexuality. Compulsory heterosexuality is the idea that heterosexuality is assumed and enforced upon people by a patriarchal and heteronormative society. The term was popularized by Adrienne Rich in her 1980 essay titled "Compulsory Heterosexuality and Lesbian Existence".
With all this to be said, where does this concept leave room for those who don't align with these theories and ideas. Those who are a-sexual and don't have a high sex drive or sex drive at all. It leads to abuse, violence and discrimination, especially to those who are marginalized.
My education on this topic aside from a little bit of Google has been this book, Refusing Compulsory Sexuality, A Black A-Sexual Lens on our Sex Obsessed Culture by Sherronda J. Brown (They/Them)
I highly recommend this book to everyone. Even if you are someone who experience's sexuality and sexual desires in a way relating to compulsory sexuality, this is still a good read to get a perspective on those who do not.
Tell me what you think about this episode! Part 2 will be out after my next interview episode!TW: Violence, generational trauma, SA, rape, death, discrimination to those marginalized
Want to be a guest on the podcast? Send me a message, always looking for new people to talk to!
IG/TikTok @kendrakphoto
www.kendrakphoto.com
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New interview episode out now, with my good friend Zach! Celibacy, it's cool, trust us. TW: Domestic abuse, generational trauma, substance abuse
Before I even made real moves with this podcast, I always knew that I wanted my friend Zach to be a guest! As burner friends, former roommates and current board game night buddy, Zach and I have gotten to be quite close and is a dear friend of mine.
Knowing about his past and how he was celibate for four years, I was excited to have this conversation with a fellow, former celibate. I don't meet or know many people who are celibate and it's a conversation I don't hear talk about often. Most would correlate celibacy with religion, not having sex to uphold a promise to their god. But there are more reasons to be celibate and there are some truly beautiful things about celibacy and the time that you are celibate. Having FULL focus on your soul, you heart and your life has that power to show you a slew of positive things that can happen for you. Inner work is the real work people. Even if you are someone who is open sexually or in a relationship, it always falls back to you and if you haven't cultivated a relationship with yourself, you can still feel lost within partnership.
We of course trail off to a lot of different topics, big life things, societal habits, burning man etc. But we have a really great conversation and I'm excited for you all to hear some sage wisdom form my friend!
Favorite line from Zach from this conversation:
"We're still stuck in the rails, there is this famous thought-idea of when the designed the space station, they had to design every flat surface as a floor because there was no up or down, you didn't have walls, you didn't have a floor and a ceiling, you could have 6 floors in a room that you can utilize as space. So if we designed things from the ground up without the biases we've had from the past, what would to the world look like today?"
TW: Domestic abuse, generational trauma, substance abuse
Want to be a guest on the podcast? Send me a message, always looking for new people to talk to!
IG/TikTok @kendrakphoto
www.kendrakphoto.com
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"Did you ever hear someone ask someone else, mostly women, why are you not in a relationship? And the responses often is, because I am having fun. I think there is something pretty profound and big there."
Listen to me chat on this episode about the perspective of being a single, 30 year old woman in the day and age of 2022. I always used to feel ashamed for never having real relationships and always being the single person, the third wheel, the fifth wheel, etc. I think I used to look around and compare myself to others and back then I thought I needed to be in a relationship because everyone else was. Because I hated being the loner and the odd ball out.
But now, I see myself and my life being single as infinite and full of possibilities. Just because I am unlike others in my friend circles, doesn't mean I am less and I realize that now. And I am now seeing myself as having more opportunities and possibilities than those who are in relationships.
Life that used to look sad, and impossible now looks limitless. Being single is limitless don't forget that.
IG/TikTok/Pinterest @kendrakphoto
www.kendrakphoto.com
Inquire to be a guest on the podcast with me below!
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Join me on my second interview with my new amazing friend, Dr. Katy Cook! Katy and I met not too long ago at a van life meetup in California, became fast friends and now have winter holiday plans in Mexico at the end of this year. That's a pretty great start to a friendship, eh? I think so! Katy and I dive into the psychology behind sex and what it means for both of us. Her, identifying as being hyper sexual and myself being a celibate ace person. We also chat attachment styles which is a really fascinating portion of this interview and just like the last interview, it's full of jokes, laughter and good fun.
Where you can find Katy along her epic second book research journey across the US!
Website www.drkatycook.com
IG/TikTok @the.states.of.the.nation
TW: Abuse, child abuse, addiction
Recommend reads from Katy and I on this episode. Finding Your North Star by Martha Beck and Breaking The Habit of Being Yourself by Dr. Joe Dispenza.
IG/TikTok @kendrakphoto
Website www.kendrakphoto.com
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This episode was not easy to record. Lately I have been grieving a lot of friendships that are no longer the same. This point in my life has shown great difficulties and strife in my day to day. My relationships have not been the same since starting Van Life, since 2020, since life has forced us to change drastically, and maybe that's a good thing... Through all the had times, there is a big, bright beautiful light at the end of the tunnel. I know that with all the uncertainty I have felt lately regarding my friend-relationships, I know that everything happens for a beautiful, mostly unseen reason at the time, and to have the courage and time to put focus back on myself and those who continue to show up in my life makes this painful journey bearable.
Know that you are not alone in this. And if you are an a-sexual individual who REALLLY relates and feels this added sorrow in friendships, know that I do too and you are not alone in your feelings. Oh, and you're valid. Don't forget that.
IG/TikTok @kendrakphoto
Website www.kendrakphoto.com
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Come listen to my first interview of the podcast with my dear friend, Yuki Kashiwaya, where we discuss in great candidness, are we asexual and pansexual enough?! As babies into this very large spectrum of being LGBTQIA+, me more so, we chat about our fears we have around our own labels, where we feel we fit into the community and our determination for continued growth and love through and within ourselves.
TW: Suicide
If you want to follow along with Yuki and her journey, you can find her on Instagram @yukis_rhythmjournal
www.kendrakphoto.com
IG @kendrakphoto
TikTok @kendrakphoto -
This is my story. I am the way I am today because of my past. I don't regret a single thing that has happened to me because it has placed me where I am today, it's also landed me here to this podcast. Come listen as I rehash my past, where I find myself today and my hopes and desires for my future.
TW: Cancer, grief
www.kendrakphoto.com
IG @kendrakphoto
TikTok @kendrakphoto
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Welcome to the podcast!
I'm Kendra K, boudoir, branding and wedding photographer and now, podcast host! Listen to my beginnings of this podcast, how it came to be, how long I have quite literally waited to do this and how excited I am for the future of this podcast and the growth, learning and love that will come from this.
Follow me on social media and book a photo session if you'd like!
www.kendrakphoto.com
IG @kendrakphoto
TikTok @kendrakphoto
