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Let’s face it - life has no shortage of trauma. And now we’re not just experiencing it, we’re watching it unfold all day, every day on a 24-hour news cycle. In this thoughtful and insightful chat, psychotherapist, counsellor and trauma mentor Nikki Heyder breaks down the ins and outs of trauma and shares some of her own for us all to learn from along the way.
Nikki says many of us are “kind of stuck in a state of numbness but hopelessness… so the world is no longer joyful.” If that sounds like you or someone you love, this is a must-listen. While T/trauma is a serious topic, this conversation is full of all the best stuff - vulnerability, hope and so.much.light.
Nikki knows her stuff, even training with the world-renowned Dr Gabor Mate. In our chat, we discuss:
* [03:20] What is trauma?
* [04:00] Big T versus little t trauma
* [06:20] The ACE study and how childhood T/trauma shapes our adulthood
* [08:05] T/trauma is unique and personal
* [10:09] Beware the allure of ‘healing your trauma in 5 days’
* [10.38] Will the concept of repair save the day for our kids?
* [15.56] How T/trauma plays out in us
* [18.05] What to do if this sounds like you
* [19:20] Who to turn to and who to turn away from
* [23:46] Feeling indecisive? Maybe it’s your ‘functional freeze’ response
* [26:46] Reintroducing… your intuition
* [29:10] Practical, tactical tools for a cooler, calmer nervous system
* [31:40] Are you in ‘shutdown mode’?
* [34:35] Cultivating a new voice + responding to our humanness with compassion
* [37:37] Can we all just lay on the ground for a bit? Asking for a friend
* [39:05] T/trauma in healthcare
* [40:44] T/trauma, grief and loss
* [43:24] T/trauma and the breakdown of relationships
* [46:15] T/trauma around money, feat. Nikki’s harrowing lived experience
* [53:10] A message for anyone in, or getting into, business
Loved this conversation? Tell us in the comments and share this episode with someone you adore!
Connect with us:
⚡️ Follow Nikki on Instagram here
⚡️ Get individual therapy with Nikki here
⚡️ Join her Baseline program for nervous system regulation here
⚡️ And check out her certification in Compassion Focused Coaching here
⚡️ Follow Casey on Instagram here
⚡️ Find out more about Casey’s work here
⚡️ Want more Casey? There are very limited copies of The ‘Bad’ Girl’s Guide To Better out in the wild as well as Amazon, Booktopia and Audible, or hit this link for a signed copy sent to your door
Facing financial hardship? Call the National Debt Helpline on 1800 007 007
For 24/7 support, please call 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732), Lifeline on 13 11 14 or 13 YARN (13 92 76), or Beyond Blue on 1300 224 636 and you can access their online counselling service here.
Get full access to Next Of Kin at nextofkin.substack.com/subscribe -
Dr Gina Cleo is one of those people you can’t help but love. She’s sparkly. Kind. Smart. And - my personal favourite - an open book.
A traumatic betrayal rocked Gina’s world, and after many years teaching others how to harness habits for long-term behaviour change, she had to relearn her own… and rebuild herself from the ground up.
She’s living proof of slow, steady commitment to building a better life one habit at a time, and I can’t wait to share her with you. In our chat, we discuss:
* [00:57] Gina’s personal metamorphosis (fasten your seatbelt, folks)
* [04:00] The trauma of betrayal
* [09:00] The role of habits during life’s toughest times
* [11:30] Habits versus willpower
* [18:00] How I finally broke my alcohol habit
* [23:00] Habit barriers and facilitators
* [25:00] Whether your mood could be derailing your habits (and your bank balance)
* [32:00] The power of intentionality and how it can help stop mindless scrolling
* [36:25] “But have you TRULY tried?” Gina calls me out (big time)
* [41:30] Non-negotiable habits of high performers
* [51.00] Starting small with micro habits
* [53.00] Preventing the inevitable backslide into bad habit territory
“You will fall off the wagon. Changing our habits is a process of two steps forward, one step back - don’t be disheartened by that. The less you do something, the less habitual it becomes.” Dr Gina Cleo
Love our chat? Join the comments and share this episode with someone you love!
Connect with us:
⚡️ Join Gina’s FREE habit training here
⚡️ Follow Gina on Instagram here
⚡️ Buy her incredible book The Habit Revolution here or I listened over on Audible
⚡️ Follow Casey on Instagram here
⚡️ Find out more about Casey’s work here
⚡️ Want more Casey? There are very limited copies of The ‘Bad’ Girl’s Guide To Better out in the wild as well as Amazon, Booktopia and Audible, or hit this link for a signed copy sent to your door
Get full access to Next Of Kin at nextofkin.substack.com/subscribe -
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