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In this episode adapted from Dr. Lee's latest live in our Becoming Trauma Informed Facebook Group, Dr. Lee reflects on the lessons learned from running the Institute over the past three years, celebrating its anniversary.
Key insights include the importance of understanding and maintaining personal capacity, the significance of boundaries, and the necessity of focusing on what is within one’s sphere of influence. The discussion also covers how small, consistent steps can lead to significant impacts, the importance of receiving support and working within a community, and the concept of sufficiency and reciprocity in relationships, particularly in business and personal life.
Through the episode, Lee showcases how things can get much better than one might think possible by making aligned choices and understanding one's boundaries and needs.00:00 Introduction and Overview
00:39 The Importance of Capacity and Integrity
01:09 Internal and External Alignment
02:36 Understanding and Setting Boundaries
08:19 The Power of Small Actions
14:21 The Necessity of Community and Support
21:11 Reciprocity and Sufficiency in Relationships
27:32 Understanding the Root of Unmet Needs
28:49 Personal Struggles and Health Challenges
29:52 Realizing the Need for Self-Care
32:40 Setting Boundaries and Prioritizing Needs
34:30 The Impact of Boundaries on Relationships
36:35 Lessons in Reciprocity and Sufficiency
38:21 Navigating Emotional Challenges
46:30 Invitation to Join the Journey
50:04 Gratitude and Future Outlook
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Links from today's show--
Join Brittany's Facebook Group (and get decluttering workshop updates) HERE
Tune in to Girl Boss Red Flags Podcast HERE
Book a Healing Centered Biz Exploration Call with Team ITPS HERE
In this engaging episode, Dr. Lee & TLC welcome Brittany Bowman, Simplicity & Clarity Strategist, who shares her personal and professional journey of learning to balance mentorship and personal values in entrepreneurship.
The episode highlights the risks of harm and re-traumatization in business settings, and the necessity of creating psychologically safe environments.
Brittany delves into the importance of trusting intuition, making informed decisions, and allowing clients to discover their unique paths.
She also previews an exciting upcoming decluttering workshop in the Institute's Trauma Club space.
00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome
00:14 Brittany's Role and Expertise
05:20 Hiding in Business Due to Trauma
16:10 Navigating Entrepreneurship and Intuition
28:04 The Importance of Regulated Pace in Business
40:28 Challenges of Paid Mentorship Programs
50:52 Owning Mistakes and Embracing Vulnerability
51:37 Balancing Multiple Roles and Responsibilities
53:21 Embodying Values in Business Practices
58:40 The Importance of Choice in Mentorship
01:02:20 Addressing Unfulfilled Promises
01:04:52 Curiosity and Questioning in Mentorship
01:09:54 The Impact of Trauma-Informed Coaching
01:20:14 Creating Psychological Safety in Business and Personal Life
01:33:27 Final Thoughts and Upcoming WorkshopSupport the show
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In this solo episode, Dr. Lee discusses the four main ways trauma manifests in professional life, particularly for those transitioning to entrepreneurship. She shares insights from the launch of Healing Centered Business School and emphasizes the importance of self-awareness in business ownership.
Key topics include the 'fight' response and its impact on business, avoidance behaviors, people-pleasing tendencies, and the 'fright, fade, faint' response. Dr.
Lee also highlights the upcoming workshop on transitioning from traditional professional employment world into entrepreneurship and invites listeners to join for deeper learning and support.00:00 Introduction and Purpose of the Episode
01:05 Launching Healing Centered Business School
03:25 The Four Main Ways Trauma Shows Up in Business
05:26 Fight Energy- For vs. Against.
11:42 Flight and Avoidance in our Work
15:24 People Pleasing and the Fawn Response
24:34 Fright, Fade, and Faint Responses
32:05 Invitation to Join Healing Centered Business School
33:30 Upcoming Episodes and Conclusion
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In this episode, TLC & Dr. Lee address their seven-week hiatus, sharing the unexpected challenges that affected their schedule.
They provide an in-depth discussion on communication issues, personal growth, and team changes that occurred during the summer.
Highlighting their own journey of overcoming a miscommunication and learning to set boundaries, they emphasize the importance of capacity management and how their experiences have shaped the launch of their new program, the Healing Centered Business School.
00:00 Introduction and Welcome Back
01:16 Coping with COVID and Summer Chaos03:18 Team Changes and Unexpected Challenges
05:09 The Anatomy of a Fight
07:28 Cowboy Up: The Burden of Unspoken Expectations
10:55 Breaking the Cycle of Codependency
28:12 Redefining Sacrifice in Relationships
35:59 Emotional Support and Letting Go
37:18 Trauma Patterns in Relationships
38:12 Research on Fights and Personal Attacks
39:32 Character Descriptions and Trauma Sensitivity
40:54 Self-Fulfilling Prophecies and Narcissistic Behavior
45:25 Personal Growth and Self-Realization
47:22 Reconnecting and Business Reflections
48:55 Defining Roles and Responsibilities
53:16 Vision and Strategy in Business
58:08 Healing Centered Business School
01:04:16 Final Thoughts and Invitation
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In this week's episode, TLC & Dr. Lee discuss a recent two-hour conversation they had focused on the concepts of internalizing and externalizing emotions.
They explore how these 2 categories of emotional reactions impact communication, especially during times of dysregulation.
They also talk about personal experiences in learning how to stop reacting, the societal judgements around emotional expression, and the harmful effects of both internalizing and externalizing.
The episode serves as a prelude to next week's episode, "The Anatomy of a Fight", and emphasizes the importance of healthy emotional expression and self-awareness. Listeners are encouraged to reflect on their own tendencies and practice curiosity instead of self-judgment.00:00 Introduction and Unexpected Conversations
01:16 Understanding Internalizing vs. Externalizing
02:17 Personal Experiences with Externalizing
03:40 The Harm of Suppressing Emotions
06:37 The Aftermath of Emotional Responses
07:59 Practicing Healthy Emotional Expression
12:20 Invitation to Self-Reflection
14:25 Conclusion and Teasers for Next Episode
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In this episode, TLC & Dr. Lee delve into the sensitive issues of domestic and sexual violence, highlighting statistical data, historical contexts, and personal stories.
They explore the 'Man vs. Bear' meme to draw parallels with deeper societal issues surrounding trauma and safety.
The discussion extends to the emotional challenges men face, comparing it with the 'Woman vs. Tree' meme, emphasizing the need for emotional regulation and understanding inherited trauma.
The importance of acknowledging and validating personal experiences is stressed, encouraging listeners to seek help, validate their feelings, and understand the significance of safety and being heard for overall well-being.00:00 Introduction and Content Warning
00:59 Man vs. Bear: The Meme Explained
03:18 The False Dichotomy of Either/Or Questions
05:09 Personal Experiences and Research Insights
06:59 Statistics and Contextual Analysis
10:50 Historical and Societal Perspectives
13:25 The Reality of Domestic and Interpersonal Violence
15:52 Gender, Race, and Perceptions of Threat
22:13 Unreported Crimes and Statistical Challenges
31:04 Sexual Violence and Societal Norms
38:04 The Alpha Male Myth
38:48 Personal Stories and Peer Pressure
40:41 Objectification and Self-Worth
42:28 Emotional Safety and Vulnerability
44:24 The Impact of Social Conditioning
58:48 Generational Trauma and Domestic Violence
01:09:48 Emotional Validation and Support
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In this episode, Dr. Lee & TLC dive into the history of trauma and how it's been studied over time.
They discuss early historical accounts mentioning trauma's effects on soldiers, the emergence of "railway spine" in the 1880s as one of the first recognitions of psychological trauma, and Freud's controversial work on hysteria and abuse in the late 19th century.
The conversation sheds light on the evolving definition of trauma and how certain harmful experiences have been historically overlooked.Key takeaways:
Trauma has been described in historical writings for centuries, often in the context of war and catastrophic accidents, but with limited understanding.In the late 1800s, the concept of psychological trauma started to be recognized separately from just physical injury.Our definition of trauma continues to expand, with growing awareness of how profoundly "everyday" painful experiences can impact individuals.Join Dr. Lee and TLC for an enlightening expedition into the history of trauma!
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In this candid episode, Dr. Lee & TLC discuss the challenges of starting a podcast, focusing on authentic speech, self-perception, and the impact of trauma on behavior and resilience.
They explore societal pressures, particularly for men and people of color in business, and the importance of mastering skills and overcoming obstacles.Through personal anecdotes, highlight the value of learning from failure and achieving self-acceptance. They encourage listeners to embrace spontaneity, let go of perfectionism, and experiment without fear.
Dr. Lee & TLC also share details surrounding 'Trauma Club' and the Trauma Sensitive Business Foundations course as valuable resources for personal growth and support.Key Takeaways:
Authentic speech is crucial for effective communication and building genuine connections.Trauma can significantly impact behavior and resilience, influencing one's approach to life and work.Embracing learning, accepting failure, and striving for self-acceptance are key to personal and professional growth.Support the show
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Get ready for an insightful, passionate adventure in Season 5 of "Becoming Trauma Informed"!
This season, Dr. Lee is joined by her historian husband TLC as her new co-host!With the addition of TLC's extensive knowledge, you'll gain eye-opening perspectives on societal patterns repeating throughout history. And with Dr. Lee's clinical expertise, those insights will tie meaningfully to our modern understanding of trauma, relationships, hurt, and healing.
Brace for frank discussions analyzing why damaging cycles persist - and more crucially, how to proactively break them using the wisdom of the past.
They'll dive into often overlooked experiences like the traumatic realities men face today, the trauma of parenting.And prepare to be riveted as this couple models how divergent truths can unite, not through debate, but through deeper understanding.
Whether unpacking broad trends through an evidence-based lens or exploring beautiful human nuances, one thing's certain: This season will create safer spaces for the conversations we need.
Click "subscribe" now so you don't miss this phenomenal journey.P.S.- Join the Pod Squad HERE to earn prizes by sharing new episodes after the 4-episode bundle drops on May 28th!
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Hey there friend!
Have you missed our BRI episodes? If so, we've got some REALLY exciting news for you.
Tune in to listen in on a special live Dr. Lee did this week to learn more about how we're bringing this podcast back in an even bigger and better way!
And you can check out our Full Capacity event we mention here: Institutefortrauma.com/FullCapacitySupport the show
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It's a bittersweet moment for Dr. Lee and the Institute.
We bid farewell this week to the Becoming Trauma Informed podcast in this, our final episode.
What a journey it's been! 4 seasons, hundreds of episodes, and over 25,000 downloads.
And as we have grown, we have evolved in our needs, in our Institute's needs, and in the projects we are ready to take on. So we're not saying goodbye altogether -- but we are shifting how we show up moving into 2024.
We are breathing life into two new ventures!
First, our brand new YouTube show, 'That's So Unprofessional,' and its podcast counterpart!
This show is set to be the heart of longer, rawer, and beautifully real discussions around leadership and professionalism.
And for those who prefer bite-sized nuggets of wisdom, we're serving a 10-minute recap of each show, focusing on the three most impactful takeaways in our new podcast, perfect for guiding your professional development journey.
Both will be launching in the new year, so give us a follow at the social channels below and we'll see you very soon.
Follow us on TikTok at tiktok.com/@Thats.So.Unprofessional
Follow us on Instagram at https://instagram.com/thats.so.unprofessionalSupport the show
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What if you could reshape your relationships, ensuring they're healthier, fulfilling, and less codependent? That's exactly what we're about to explore together in this episode, navigating the complex terrain of trauma and codependency. Dr Lee and her husband, TLC, open up about their personal journeys through trauma, revealing how becoming trauma-informed can dramatically shift your relationship dynamics.
They break down the concepts of codependency and trauma bonding, sharing firsthand accounts of how these often misunderstood dynamics have shaped their lives. From the influence of their upbringing to the critical importance of trauma-informed practice, they shine a light on the hidden forces that may be driving your relationships.
Learn how intentional communication, distress tolerance, and a deep understanding of self-care can transform your interactions with partners, bringing peace and connection.
They also challenge traditional gender roles within relationships, highlighting the societal conditioning that often leads to harmful patterns. They share their own struggles and triumphs in creating a balanced dynamic, where each person's needs are met without sacrificing their well-being.
Finally, they uncover the unexpected benefits of becoming trauma-informed, emphasizing how it can foster closer, safer relationships, regulate emotions and improve mental health. Join Dr. Lee and TLC as they delve into these poignant topics, offering practical tips and insights that could revolutionize your relationships.
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Want to join us for TRIPS ™ Conference & Here to Help for the Holidays? Learn more at https://itps.kartra.com/page/TRIPScon
Imagine if you could expand your capacity by simply shifting the way you perceive and approach letting go? This episode dives into the truth of how honoring your capacity often requires setting things aside (even if you enjoy them) in order to do the things that you are called to do.Leadership isn’t just about leading people, it’s about knowing where your true expertise lies, and having the courage to step into it by trusting those around you to pick up the things they are good at, and allowing them to support and carry you as needed in the service of your vision.
Join Dr. Lee as she navigates the journey of fine-tuning trauma-informed leadership skills. Combining kindness with truth, curiosity with compassion, and discernment without judgment, she discusses her evolution and announces the Institute's latest supportive venture – a Facebook support group over the holidays that culminates in a 3-day conference on what it looks like to be Trauma-Informed, and Psychologically Safe. If you're yearning for a transformative shift in your life, this is your chance to join us and allow yourself to be supported through this empowering journey.
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Life is a journey of self-discovery. Along the way, we overcome barriers, navigate systems, and most importantly, learn to be true to ourselves. Join Dr. Lee this week as she welcomes Tamara Williams Van Horn.
Tamara is an advocate for public education and a beacon of support for marginalized students. Together they uncover the magic and possibilities that education can offer to individuals and society.
Traversing personal tales of overcoming adversity to excel academically, Dr. Lee and Tamara tackle the social determinants of health, the struggles faced by those in poverty, and how these factors shape the educational landscape. They celebrate "black excellence," acknowledge the power of education and the importance of creating space for diversity within the system.
They dive deep into the whirlwind journey of college choices and academic identity, discussing the pressure to conform to societal standards and the importance of mental health in academic success.
The conversation culminates in exploring personal, gender, and sexual identity, confronting societal expectations and norms, understanding the struggle of fitting in, and the power of self-acceptance.
Guest Bio:
Tamara Williams Van Horn, (She/They) is the Principal Responder for Auntiecorn Leadership Strategies. Their current work seeks to deconstruct the "differences that difference makes" through engagements of somatic animation and personal, community, and cultural service and exploration. Tamara is based out of Boulder, Colorado and is looking forward to building expansive experiential collaborations with you. Tamara loves, lives, and leads with Strategic Thinking® CliftonStrengths® themes and Wisdom, Transcendence, and Leadership character strengths.
Interested in working together? Connect for dialogue at [email protected]; @TamVanHorn (Instagram) and at Auntiecorn Leadership Strategies on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/AuntiecornLeadership.
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After she launched the Institute for Trauma and Psychological Safety, Dr. Lee found herself caught up in the complex web of giving and receiving help. She knew she needed a perspective shift, and here's how she navigated through it all: with the help of her team and loved ones.
This week, Dr. Lee shares the candid details of her journey, revealing how it led to a deeper understanding of her own patterns around asking for help and the importance of self-care for both herself and her team.
She also explores identity and its unhealthy attachment to our ability to help others. We often mix up our identity with our accomplishments and actions, a pattern which can lead to depletion and could potentially be life-threatening. Dr. Lee unravels the process of disentangling our identity from our actions, a critical step towards becoming more resilient, and thriving as opposed to just surviving.
Making a difference doesn't always have to involve currency. At the Institute, we value all forms of support, even those that don't bear a price tag. Dr. Lee rounds off this week’s episode by inviting you to join us in this essential conversation on seeking and providing help joining our free 3-day event Nov 20-22, 2023, Here to Help. Click the link for more information or to register: https://institutefortrauma.com/heretohelp
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Have you ever found yourself saying yes to everything, just to realize you've overcommitted? That's a narrative we're changing as I sit down with the extraordinary Jenae Lyn, head Instructor of the TRIPS™️ Certificate Program at the Institute. Together, we explore our shared experience of planning a transformation event, diving into our initial spark of inspiration, the frantic promotional phase, and the moment of reconsideration.
As we chat, we're exposing the importance of creating a trauma-informed, psychologically safe space for entrepreneurs within their businesses. We're peeling back the layers of our conditioned drive to help others, even when it's not particularly beneficial. The conversation takes a deep dive into the shame that comes with not wanting to lend a helping hand, and how to understand when it's time to help ourselves instead.
We're also unpacking the significance of understanding our personal capacity, the daunting task of overcoming people-pleasing, and the three core needs: physical safety, psychological safety, and joy. Jenae Lyn shares her journey from being a 'yes' person to giving herself time to weigh her options. As we navigate through the intricacies of truth, lies, and choices, we end with some helpful insights on setting holiday boundaries.
It all culminates in an invitation to our FREE Here to Help event running Nov 20-22. Check it out here: https://institutefortrauma.com/heretohelp
Guest Bio:
Jenae Lyn believes that heart and hustle are the keys to a life well lived. She spends her days creating meaningful moments in her human resources career and her nights unlocking human potential through coaching.
She also spends her free time volunteering with one of the most untapped potential workforce groups in the country - the currently, and formerly, incarcerated. More typical pastimes include reading, snuggling her dogs, and finding opportunities to put her Spanish degree to use - and to graduate beyond playing anything other than Wonderwall on the guitar.
Connect with Jenae Lyn:
FB: https://www.facebook.com/jenaelynismyname/
Tiktok @jenaelynismyname
Insta: @jenaelyn
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Have you ever wondered about the power of pleasure? What if pleasure had the potential to be your superpower, your healing tool, your path to liberation?
Toran McGill, also known as the Pleasure Priestess, joins Dr. Lee in a stimulating conversation about embracing pleasure in all aspects of life, from dealing with grief to navigating work and relationships.
They deep dive into the importance of expressing emotions and challenging societal norms. Toran shares her personal journey and how she infuses her role as the Pleasure Priestess with fun, humor, and self-permission. They also explore Toran's unique Pleasure Priestess methodology that focuses on mind, body, and soul, giving us insight on how manipulation can hinder relationships and how expressing desires without fear can be liberating.
This episode invites you to reimagine the narrative of pleasure. What if it wasn’t just a reward but a resource? What if the role of consent and self-permission allowed us to cultivate pleasure in our everyday lives enabling us to embrace pleasure in its full spectrum?
Guest Bio:
Toran McGill supports people in shifting from a pain and punishment paradigm into their pleasure and potency lifestyle. Reconnecting people to their soulmates - their bodies.
● The Pleasure Priestess
● Pleasure Embodiment Coach
● Trauma Informed and Pleasure Focused Certified Sex, Love & Relationships Coach
● Certified Men’s Sexuality Coach and Certified Tantric Sex Coach
● Body Doula
● Luminary of Pleasure
● Daimyo
● Poet and Author
Connect with Toran:
https://thepleasurepriestess.as.me/TandA
https://www.toranmcgill.com/
https://taplink.cc/toranmcgill
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Is there more to leadership than traditional methodologies and cold, business-like environments?
Dana Shamas, an executive leadership and wellness coach, introduces us to a new way of viewing leadership: a blend of intuition, joy, and holistic techniques she uses in her coaching. Dana's transformative journey from conventional business environments to incorporating breath work, sound healing and more into her coaching style challenges the norms.
Dana takes us through the often-overlooked impacts of gender norms on leadership styles. We explore how conditioned behaviours can limit our ability to lead and the vital importance of unlearning them to bring forth our inherent strengths. She walks us through the profound power of asking the right questions to truly understand our needs and desires, as well as breath work and its potential to prevent burnout.
The episode draws to a close with a deep dive into emotional regulation and the indispensable role of setting boundaries in processing our feelings. Dana's insights into the power of presence and active listening promise to bring significant shifts in both personal and professional life. If you're looking to lead with heart and intuition, tune in to this transformative episode.
Guest Bio:
Dana's in-depth knowledge of business and wellness allows her to introduce practical strategies and tools to improve emotional bandwidth, while her experience as an entrepreneur has taught her to master walking forward into the unknown. She loves sharing the tools you need to maintain your connection to clarity and peace, even in a chaotic and volatile world.
Connect with Dana:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/dana-shamas/
@danashamascoachingSupport the show
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Experiencing a whirlwind of emotions? Feeling overwhelmed by the chaos of existence? This week's episode offers a thought-provoking exploration into our emotional landscape.
This week, Katie Macks joins us to talk about the intricacies of internal conflict and the struggle to discover our authentic selves beneath layers of shame and societal expectations. Together, we dissect the harmful norms that underpin this inner turmoil and emphasize the importance of recognizing personal triggers and maintaining emotional equilibrium, especially during times of great stress.
Katie shares experiences of consciously choosing gentleness and surrender in trying times, a lesson that can be applied to all facets of life. We question the limitations of the traditional medical model in addressing emotional distress and underscore the significance of hearing out the messages behind our feelings, rather than suppressing them. The conversation then turns to the profound realization that physical health issues can often be alleviated by simply allowing ourselves to experience our emotions fully.
We wrap up the episode with a discussion on the potency of staying rooted and responsive, even during times of prosperity, the influence of our emotional state on our pursuit of peace, and how body language can shape the spaces we create for ourselves and others.
Guest Bio:
Katie Macks is a leadership coach with Audacious Leadership. Katie supports and guides her clients on their journey to freedom through what she coins as "inner activism", with a focus on self-love and self-approval with a plethora of tools that release trauma to unleash their joy.
Connect with Katie:
https://www.facebook.com/katie.macks
https://www.instagram.com/katie_to_the_macks/
https://www.tiktok.com/@katie_macksSupport the show
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Have you ever considered the immense significance a name carries, particularly when it's your own? Erika Zeb joins us as we navigate the labyrinth of emotions, personal experiences, and legalities that changing one's name involves. We dive into how name changes, often triggered by significant life events like marriage or divorce, can profoundly impact our identity.
The complexities of identity go beyond names and into concepts like self-perception. Can we truly love and accept ourselves? Erika candidly shares her personal journey from career woman to stay-at-home mother, shining a light on the tumultuous emotional shift she experienced. We also scratch the surface of the societal obsession with beauty standards, unraveling the liberating potential of self-acceptance.
We also grapple with gritty topics such as reparenting, body acceptance, and the role of nourishment in our overall well-being. We round out the episode by underscoring the importance of empathy, understanding, and patience. Teasing you with a sneak peek of future episodes focusing on self-leadership, we invite you on this journey of self-discovery and transformation.
Guest Bio:
Erika teaches embodied confidence to leaders who are ready to stop spinning in self doubt so they can take consistent, bold, and aligned action towards their most authentic life and biz. She’s also a divorced, single mama of 2, dedicated to breaking cycles and healing generational trauma.
Links:
Instagram: @the.erikaz
TikTok: @the.erikaz
Facebook: Erika ZebSupport the show
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