Episode 148--Beg, Plead, Bargain, Repeat!

20 feb 2023 · Childless not by Choice

00:24:53

Hello, and welcome to episode 148 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.

Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!

What is today’s show about?

Beg, Plead, Bargain, Repeat!

Thank you Patreon contributors:

I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.

Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!

If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!

If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at [email protected].

Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!

https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice

Questions or comments? Contact me at:

Email: [email protected]

Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen, and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.

Body of episode:

I begged, plead, and bargained with God for a family. I wanted at least one kid, a boy. It was always a boy. I even had a name picked out.

You know, it is important not to tell people your business. It was so long ago so I don’t know I don’t know why I mentioned the name out loud, but one day I did.

The first time I heard the name I felt an instant connection. I started researching the meaning, the definition and found it quite fitting for all I had been going through. The tons of fibroids, all of the myomectomies, the crying myself to sleep. The name reaps up painful memories of a challenging part of my journey.

Someone named one of her children that very name. It broke my heart. Honestly, I kinda felt somewhere deep down at that time, that I would not be having a child. But there was still a tiny window of hope. If that makes sense.

I worked at a certain company years ago where I recall all the young moms planning day trips to child-friendly locales. I wasn’t jealous, I thought it was beautiful. It was their way of getting their little people out of the house and getting themselves out of the house as well. All of these young women got along, so they wanted their kids to get along. Nothing wrong with that. But of course, I remained silent. I had nothing to contribute, even to say what a beautiful idea, could possibly make me a target.

I remained stoic, staring at my computer, as they all buzzed around me making their plans.

I know some of you are in that part of the journey right now. And all I can tell you, as trite as it may sound, ‘this too shall pass’. It really will. And the other thing I will tell you is don’t pretend. Yes, it’s OK to smile through your day if that’s what you do, but please go to therapy.

At that point in my life, I had not gone to therapy yet. In fact, it was just before I went. Please go to therapy. Do nice things for yourself as often as you can during this time. Go to the beach, go to your favorite coffee shop, your favorite museum, or whatever makes you happy. And tell yourself every day, that you are worthy. You are not a second-class citizen. You are here for a reason. Remind yourself of all the good things about you, and work on whatever you need to work on to make yourself an even better human. That’s for you to know and to work on.

I am no longer dealing with children issues, I guess it’s grandchildren issues now. I mean it is never going to end, so the best thing we can do for ourselves is to belong to Community, the childless not by choice community. It has grown so much over the last few years. There is a place for you no matter where in the world you are.

You know, as I recall the times of crying myself to sleep, as I listened to my biological clock tick, tick, tick. Begging God to answer my prayers, as things got progressively worse. And then the time came for me to have a hysterectomy. No answer. No response. Those are times that I look back on with a modicum of pain, but I am still here, so I believe my life events have strengthened me. In fact, empowered me. I know the same can be for you. Just hang in there no matter where in the journey you are.

That boy’s name. I won’t mention it. Maybe one day I will. But not today. It is a powerful name. You may try to figure it out. Be my guest. Hint: It’s not a person’s name, but it could be.

You know, I can say that my childless not by choice experience is based on this name. I got nothing out of my life that I expected or wanted. The life I wanted, expected, was somehow sacrificed. Yes, the name is very fitting.

I had to make the decision to push through. To not be bitter. To decide not to be bitter. It is an actual choice, a decision. It doesn’t just happen.

If you don’t make the decision, the results of life will make the decisions for you. And life’s choices, and decisions, are not usually good. We have to literally wash the lemons, cut them up, squeeze them into cold water, with some vanilla or lemon essence, and some sugar. YOu have to literally make the lemonade. Make the best of the life you have been given.

Before I let you go, I want to read this poem to you. I was searching for a notebook to take notes for a course I am taking. Knowing me I figured I had to have an unused notebook somewhere. I happily found the notebook I needed, and there was a folded piece of paper sticking out. It’s dated June of 2004.

Research links:

2004 poem I wrote and just found on the back of a notebook on Sunday, January 15, 2023:

I don’t care how light or dark my baby is, I just want a baby.

I just want him to be healthy.

‘Ten fingers, ten toes, two feet, two hands, and a nose!

Two eyes, two ears; if it's a girl, enough hair for her bows.

Dimples on her cheeks like grandma, or a dimple in the chin like me and grandpa.

Kicking around when she has a pamper change, rolling over which starts her independence stage.

A girly girl, or a boy full of energy; either one, it does not matter to me.

I’ll take one of each at the same time, that would be a sight to see.

Everyone loves twins you see, especially me!

–Civilla (June 2004).

Episode quotes:

‘Do the best you can with what’s left of your heart.’-Civilla

'The journey does not end, the terrain changes.'-Civilla

Articles/links of interest:

https://www.yicaiglobal.com/news/one-tenth-of-chinese-women-are-childless-up-from-6-cpdrc-says

https://people.com/parents/chelsea-handler-explains-why-she-doesnt-want-kids/#:~:text=Chelsea%20Handler%20is%20ruling%20out,see%20children%20in%20her%20future.

My contact information:

Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com
Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan
Twitter: @civilla1
Instagram: @joyandrelevance
Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM
LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM
https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice

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Episoder

Episode 167--Looking Back, Looking Forward
20 sep· Childless not by Choice
Looking Back, Looking Forward

Hello, and welcome to episode 167 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men worldwide, reminding us that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.

Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!

What is today’s show about?

Looking Back, Looking Forward

Thank you Patreon contributors:

I want to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform every month, my Patreon Contributors.

Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!

If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!

If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at [email protected].

Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!

https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice

Questions or comments? Contact me at:

Email: [email protected]

Or

Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.

Body of episode:

Reminder the next two months I am on hiatus

I will have a fresh episode in December

WCW highlights–World Childless Week, 16-22 Sept 2024

Childless Cat (Plant) Ladies

Review last three episodes–links posted below

Articles/links of interest:

https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-78-11-childless-not-choice-women-changed-world-part-one/

https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-79-part-two-11-childless-not-by-choice-women-who-changed-the-world-2/

https://aseannow.com/topic/1337077-the-right%E2%80%99s-fixation-on-childless-women-a-tool-for-upholding-capitalist-norms/

Most recent episodes:

https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-166-my-conversation-with-jody-day/

https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-165-our-nine-year-podcastiversary/

https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-164-the-issues-of-race-and-the-medical-community/

My contact information:

Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com
Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan
Twitter: @civilla1
Instagram: @joyandrelevance
Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM
LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM
https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice
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Episode 166--My Conversation with Jody Day!
22 aug· Childless not by Choice
Hello, and welcome to episode 166 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.

Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!

What is today’s show about?

My Interview with Jody Day. Update time!

Intro:

JODY DAY is the English/Irish founder of Gateway Women, the global support & advocacy network for childless women, and is often described as the founder of the ‘childless movement’. An author, two-times TEDx speaker, thought leader and psychotherapist, she’s known for her best-selling Living the Life Unexpected: How to Find Hope, Meaning and a Fulfilling Future Without Children (PanMac 2016/2020) and increasingly for her popular Substack, ‘Gateway Elderwomen’ which explores the adventure of elderhood without motherhood.

Jody’s been a World Childless Week Ambassador since its inception in 2017, and was chosen as one of the BBC’s 100 Women in 2013 & as a UK Digital Woman of the Year in 2021. She was also a founding and former board member at the UK Charity Ageing Without Children, and is a former Fellow in Social Innovation at Cambridge Judge Business School.

After a lifetime in London, she now lives by the sea in West Cork, rural Ireland, where she’s working on a novel (featuring a childless heroine of course!) and developing her Gateway Elderwomen project. She is managed by a small white terrier called Parsnip.

Thank you Patreon contributors:

I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.

Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!

If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!

If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at [email protected].

Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!

https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice

Questions or comments? Contact me at:

Email: [email protected]

Or

Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.

Body of episode:

Are you still a part of AWOC?

Working on a novel

Substack—Gateway Elder Women

‘Women without children are that village’.--Jody Day

We still pay taxes.

Research links:

https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2021/11/19/growing-share-of-childless-adults-in-u-s-dont-expect-to-ever-have-children/

https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2024/07/25/the-experiences-of-u-s-adults-who-dont-have-children/

https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2021/10/05/rising-share-of-u-s-adults-are-living-without-a-spouse-or-partner/

https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2021/11/19/growing-share-of-childless-adults-in-u-s-dont-expect-to-ever-have-children/

Christine Erickson’s New Legacy Institute

Gateway Woman is now The Childless Collective

Mutual aid projects

Articles/links of interest:

https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-90-my-interview-with-jody-day-founder-of-gateway-women/

https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-143-the-things-men-talk-about-my-conversation-with-dr-robin-hadley/

https://gateway-women.com/living-the-life-unexpected-2nd-edition-world-blogtour-1-19th-march-2020/

Special thank you to:

Jody Day, Founder of Gateway Women

Jody Day’s Contact Info:

https://gateway-women.com/

website: www.gateway-women.com

substack: https://jodyday.substack.com/

instagram @gatewaywomen & @apprenticecrone

free download of intro & chapter 1 of Jody's book: bit.ly/free-ltlu

FYI:

Spotify now allows podcasters the ability to respond to listener comments.

My contact information:

Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com
Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan
Twitter: @civilla1
Instagram: @joyandrelevance
Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM
LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM
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Manglende episoder?

Klik her for at forny feed.
Episode 165-Our Nine Year Podcastiversary!
31 jul· Childless not by Choice
Hello, and welcome to episode 165 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men worldwide, reminding us that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.

Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!

What is today’s show about?

My Nine Year Podcastiversary!

Thank you Patreon contributors:

I want to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform every month, my Patreon Contributors.

Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most guests, etc. So thank you very much!

If you still need to become a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!

If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at [email protected].

Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!

https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice

Questions or comments? Contact me at:

Email: [email protected]

Or

Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.

Body of episode:

Thank you: And as I say every July, I can’t believe it!

Thank you for walking with me through the last few years as I dealt with real life.

Articles/links of interest:

https://abcnews.go.com/US/vance-argued-higher-tax-rate-childless-americans-2021/story?id=112284318

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/maximizing-relationships-and-happiness-in-life/202407/with-love-to-my-childless-aunts

Special thank you to:

All of you!

My contact information:

Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com
Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan
Twitter: @civilla1
Instagram: @joyandrelevance
Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM
LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM
https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice

If you want to become a one-time or ongoing sponsor, or if you want to advertise your business or an upcoming event, contact me at [email protected] for details.

‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant,

and fulfilled life.’
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Episode 164--THE ISSUES OF RACE AND THE MEDICAL COMMUNITY
2 jul· Childless not by Choice
Hello, and welcome to episode 164 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.

Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!

What is today’s show about?

Race and the medical community, how to fix it?

Thank you Patreon contributors:

I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.

Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!

If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!

If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at [email protected].

Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!

https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice

Questions or comments? Contact me at:

Email: [email protected]

Or

Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.

Questions from listeners:

Listener Name: question from Spotify listener

‘Could you provide an actual bio description. I already know the title, I don’t know what you’re gonna talk about precisely. It would be very helpful instead of the basic uninformed text.’

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

Before we get started: Android users, Google podcasts is going away–slowly, like by Summertime based on what I am hearing. That should give you time to find another way to listen.

Honestly, if you just go to your app store you can search for podcast player apps. If you are an Android user, you can use podcast addict or Pocket Cast podcast player apps.

Of course, you can also listen on YouTube music. And keep in mind, I do have two YouTube accounts where you can listen to the podcast.

If you listen to the podcast on Gaana, the largest music platform in India, they are transitioning podcasts to app-only listening. So if you are not finding the Childless not by Choice podcast anywhere else on their platform, search the Gaana app. And thanks for listening India!

Body of episode:

So, I want to tell you about an experience I had when I had my hysterectomy. Am I blaming race for what happened to me? That’s the thing about racism, it’s not always clear. I have always said ‘It’s a heart issue.’

Race and the medical community–

Narrative–dictionary term

The narrative that black people take pain at a higher range.

Talk about how there are differences that do not mean black people are inferior

brown bandaids-

pulse ox and skin color-

Kidney disease–gfr, creatinine(?)

Talk about the young woman who invented the color change of bandages. when a wound is healing or is getting infected.

Talk about women of color losing babies at a higher rate-

Talk about the role of AI in the medical community-

What is bias?

to give a settled and often prejudiced outlook:

his background biases him against foreigners.

systematic error introduced into sampling or testing by selecting or encouraging one outcome or answer over others.

an inclination of temperament or outlook

especially: a personal and sometimes unreasoned judgment: PREJUDICE

Even AI is biased. But it’s not AI’s fault. Who is creating AI code?

I believe just as it takes a village, and community, to get most things done in our world, it will take a village to fix and correct the inequities of care in the medical and health community. We all need to look out for each other

List of things to do when going to the doctor:

Make a list of the questions for the doctor.

If you are afraid to self-advocate, bring a trusted friend or family member with you.

Go to follow-up and lab appointments. Don’t blow them off.

Review your lab results and ask questions. Make sure you understand what the results mean.

Try to eat right, and take medications you are prescribed as long as you and your doctor are on the same page when it comes to medications.

Don’t be afraid to get a second opinion.

Make sure you and your doctor are on the same page.

Do research, not to self-evaluate, but to understand what your doctor is telling you.

Be aware, involved, and knowledgeable about your health.

Research links:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4194634/

https://www.healthaffairs.org/doi/10.1377/hlthaff.2021.01466

https://www.stkate.edu/academics/healthcare-degrees/racism-in-healthcare

https://www.band-aid.com/products/adhesive-bandages/ourtone-adhesive-bandages

Articles/links of interest:

https://mhacf.org/

https://medicalxpress.com/news/2024-03-rheumatic-diseases-childbearing-problems.html

https://yen.com.gh/people/family-relationships/256354-nigerian-lady-child-buys-pampers-feeding-bottle-tearfully-prays-god-a-baby-video/

My contact information:

Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com
Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan
Twitter: @civilla1
Instagram: @joyandrelevance
Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM
LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM
https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice
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Episode 163--Father's Day
3 jun· Childless not by Choice
Hello, and welcome to episode 163 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men worldwide, reminding us that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.

Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!

What is today’s show about?

Father’s Day

Thank you Patreon contributors:

I want to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform every month, my Patreon Contributors.

Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!

If you still need to become a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!

If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at [email protected].

Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!

https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice

Questions or comments? Contact me at:

Email: [email protected]

Or

Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.

Articles/links of interest:

https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-160-praying-through-infertility-my-conversation-with-sheridan-voysey/

https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-143-the-things-men-talk-about-my-conversation-with-dr-robin-hadley/

https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-130-about-fathers-day-and-childlessness/

https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-72-male-and-childless-not-by-choice-my-interview-with-dr-robin-hadley/

https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-141-downriver-nomad-my-conversation-with-rob-hutchings/

Special thank you to:

All of the wonderful men who have shared their childless not by choice journey with us, and the world.

My contact information:

Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com
Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan
Twitter: @civilla1
Instagram: @joyandrelevance
Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM
LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM
https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice
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Episode162-Why Won't They Listen?
27 apr· Childless not by Choice
Hello, and welcome to episode 162 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.

Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!

What is today’s show about?

Why Won't They Listen?

Thank you Patreon contributors:

I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.

Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!

If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!

If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at [email protected].

Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!

https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice

Questions or comments? Contact me at:

Email: [email protected]

Or

Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.

Body of episode:

HELLO EVERYONE WELCOME TO EPISODE 162! THIS IS A SPECIAL LIVE RECORDING AND I AM SO EXCITED FOR YOU TO HEAR IT. AS SOON AS I HEARD IT WAS HAPPENING I BECAME EXCITED BECAUSE THE ISSUES SURROUNDING HEALTHCARE AND PEOPLE OF COLOR IS SOMETHING THAT HAS BEEN ON MY MIND FOR QUITE SOME TIME.

I MEAN QUITE SOME TIME AS IN YEARS: SINCE MY HYSTERECTOMY.

I WILL BE TALKING MORE ABOUT MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCES NEXT EPISODE, AS WELL AS THINGS WE CAN DO, NO MATTER OUR RACE OR GENDER, TO GIVE US A BETTER CHANCE AT PROPER CARE WHEN INTERACTING WITH THE MEDICAL COMMUNITY.

I WOULD LIKE TO THANK MRS. LASHONDA ROYAL, CHAPTER PRESIDENT, MS. ANNA DIEVEUIL-HORNBUCKLE, PUBLIC RELATIONS, AND ALL THE LADIES OF ZETA PHI BETA SORORITY, INC., FOR ALLOWING ME TO ATTEND THIS MEETING.

BY THE WAY, IT WAS OPEN TO THE PUBLIC.

PLEASE NOTE: SOME CONTENT IN THIS EPISODE IS GEARED TO WOMEN WHO HAVE CHILDREN. PLEASE ALSO NOTE THAT ANY AUDIENCE MEMBER NAMES MENTIONED HAVE BEEN REMOVED. THE NAMES OF THE PANEL MEMBERS HAVE NOT.

LASTLY, NAMES OF MEDICATIONS HAVE BEEN REMOVED FROM THE AUDIO AS WELL. THANKS AGAIN FOR TUNING IN.

Articles/links of interest:

https://www.personneltoday.com/hr/childless-employee-edi-unseen-minority/

Special thank you to:

Mrs. Lashonda Royal, Chapter President, Zeta Phi Beta Sorority

Ms. Anna Dieveuil-Hornbuckle, Public Relations

Solid Rock Community Church

My contact information:

Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com
Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan
Twitter: @civilla1
Instagram: @joyandrelevance
Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM
LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM
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Episode 161--IVF and The Alabama Ruling
23 mar· Childless not by Choice
Hello, and welcome to episode 161 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.

Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!

What is today’s show about?

IVF and the Alabama Ruling

Thank you Patreon contributors:

I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.

Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!

If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!

If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at [email protected].

Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!

https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice

Questions or comments? Contact me at:

Email: [email protected]

Or

Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.

Body of episode:

On average, IVF has a success rate of 46.7% (depending on individual fertility conditions).--cryosinternational.com

1 million: Number of babies born in the United States between 1987 and 2015 through the use of IVF or other assisted reproductive technologies, according to a report released in 2017 by the by the U.S. Society of Assisted Reproductive Technology (SART). Assisted reproductive technologies include IVF or the use of an egg donor, sperm donor or adopted embryo.

Today, 40 years after its heavily criticized clinical introduction, IVF is available as a successful treatment for infertility almost all over the world. Over 8 million IVF children have been born, and over 2.5 million cycles are being performed every year, resulting in over 500,000 deliveries annually.--Google

What is IVF?

What is IVF and how is it done?

During in vitro fertilization, mature eggs are collected from ovaries and fertilized by sperm in a lab. Then a procedure is done to place one or more of the fertilized eggs, called embryos, in a uterus, which is where babies develop. One full cycle of IVF takes about 2 to 3 weeks. Sep 1, 2023

How much does it cost to have IVF?

While the average base cost of a single IVF cycle falls between $14,000 and $20,000, this is merely an approximation. The actual expenses may differ. Moreover, additional costs including medications, genetic testing, cryopreservation, and storage fees must be taken into account.

So just getting the pre-work done costs thousands, and the whole process is about timing. Timing. Ovulation, injections into the stomach at just the right time of the month. All of the things that need to be done at just the right time, of the month. Oh, let’s not forget the should we call it, cultivation of the eggs. It’s a process. All of it.

And this process is done by doctors. People who studied for a very long time so that they could assist their patients. Politicians and judges went to school to study politics and law. Nowhere do the two professions meet unless a person gets both degrees.

I checked to see if this judge in Alabama has an MD-JD, in other words, a medical and law degree. I did not find anything in my research that says he does.

So what’s the back story anyway?

Well, apparently a patient went wandering around an IVF clinic and somehow got back to where the embryos were kept in a cryogenic state, and dropped a few of them, destroying them. A few couples that also were clients of this clinic heard about this and filed suit.

I mean, I have questions. How did this patient get back there? Why did she touch things that did not belong to her? Was she looking for her embryos? Was the clinic not working with her? Why was she back there?

But those questions aside, what I really want to know is how much research and homework was done by the judge to come to his ruling?

Did he consider how ruling against IVF would affect people who were having trouble getting pregnant? Was research done on the process of IVF? Why it is done? Even how it is done? I don’t know.

Maybe he did and still decided to rule the way he did. Did he know that his ruling would affect men as well as women?

When these lawmakers are, well, making these laws, how much research is done? Seriously. I don’t mean just legal research. I don’t mean sitting in a law library or having your law clerks sitting in a law library trying to come up with legal reasons to cause terror in people’s lives. How much research did they do to understand the relevance of the law to current life? Does relevance to current life, say vs. before IVF was invented, matter in research and ruling?

I am no lawyer, but shouldn't the law have to somehow keep up with the current times? And no, keeping up with the current times does not mean fundamentally changing the law otherwise as much as the law sometimes doesn’t make sense now; imagine if it was fundamentally changed to keep up with the fact that we are in the 21st century and not the middle ages.

Let me go deeper, do these lawmakers know or even care about infertility, the biological clock, gasp, male infertility? Are these lawmakers just concerned about their interpretation of the law and making a name for themselves down through history, using God as a way to make it make sense? Let me stop here for a second:

God is not the author of confusion.

God has given us free will as human beings.

He has given us wisdom, common sense, and the ability to invent things like IVF.

He has created every human in His image. He loves women as well as He loves men.

All of the division we see globally, the mistreatment and hatred of women is not godly. OK, that’s me hopping off my soap box. It’s been a while since I’ve used my soap box, so thanks for allowing me the latitude.

Look, I realize the law is not based on empathy. And one can argue that point, but if the law were based on empathy some perpetrators would not be released on a technicality. Some people would not rot in prison for something they did not do. More work, and more research would be done in both cases.

People, men, and women; would not have to suffer through infertility, deal with IVF treatments, and then rely on a legal system that has no empathy, have done no research, have no real world answers, or understanding on the matter to which has to be ruled while not fundamentally changing the laws. I believe both can be done.

The bottom line is this, the patriarchy is acting as it has for a millennium. But the part that gets me is when God is brought in. Let me repeat what I said earlier: God doesn’t hate women, He created us. He created humans in His image, so that would be men AND women. He doesn’t prefer men over women. He doesn’t have disdain for women.

I don’t understand how the rampant mistreatment of women worldwide makes the world a better place. It doesn’t. Using God as a prop. Never a good idea. But it’s done all the time.

What happened in Alabama, and what is happening around the country is not being done in kindness and empathy. It is being done to grab power, to be judgemental, and to cause duress. For what reason? Power. It’s all about power. When ultimately, God has all the power.

God’s process for how men and women should live does not include fast rulings done with no research, no empathy, no real legal theory, that affect people in such a negative way.

I know the Alabama Supreme court cobbled something together to help protect those who are going through the IVF process from the judge’s ruling. The governor of Alabama has signed off on the ruling, but my understanding that this new ruling still does not fully protect people going throught IVF, but at least it is a start. I guess we will stay tuned!

Research links:

https://www.arcfertility.com/patient-resources/understanding-the-cost-of-ivf/#:~:text=While%20the%20average%20base%20cost,must%20be%20taken%20into%20account.

https://judicial.alabama.gov/CourtMemberBio/ViewBio?id=3#:~:text=Chief%20Justice%20Parker&text=Chief%20Justice%20Tom%20Parker%20was,elected%20Chief%20Justice%20in%202018.

https://www.cryosinternational.com/en-gb/dk-shop/private/blog/ivf-treatment-for-single-women/

https://www.pennmedicine.org/updates/blogs/fertility-blog/2018/march/ivf-by-the-numbers

Articles/links of interest:

https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2024/2/21/why-has-the-alabama-supreme-court-ruled-that-embryos-are-children

https://www.newvision.co.ug/category/news/childless-woman-flees-from-abusive-husband-NV_183405

My contact information:

Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com
Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan
Twitter: @civilla1
Instagram: @joyandrelevance
Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM
LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM
https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice

Well, thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice! Until next time! Bye!

‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’

‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.

Survey:

https://bit.ly/2TSMuDV

Notes from the episode:

“God is not the author of confusion…God has given us free will..wisdom, common sense, and the ability to invent things, like IVF.’

‘He loves women as well as men.’

‘We are all created in His image.’

‘All of the mistreatment of women globally is not God, and it’s not godly.’

‘..He does not have disdain for women. That’s a human thing.’
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Episode 160--Praying Through Infertility, my conversation with Sheridan Voysey
17 mar· Childless not by Choice
Hello, and welcome to episode 160 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.

Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!

What is today’s show about?

A Conversation with Sheridan Voysey

Thank you Patreon contributors:

I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.

Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!

If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!

If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at [email protected].

Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!

https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice

Questions or comments? Contact me at:

Email: [email protected]

Or

Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.

Intro:

Sheridan Voysey is an author, speaker and broadcaster with a keen interest on makes life deeply worthwhile. Sheridan is a presenter of Pause for Thought on BBC Radio 2’s Zoe Ball Breakfast Show (heard by 9 million people daily) and has conducted over 2000 radio interviews in his 25-year broadcast career. He has been featured on BBC Breakfast, BBC News, Day of Discovery, 100 Huntley Street, BBC Radio 4, BBC Radio 5 Live, the ABC, CBC’s Tapestry, and in publications like The Times, The Sunday Telegraph, and Christianity Today. He speaks at conferences and events around the world.

Mr. Sheridan Voysey, welcome to the show!

Body of episode:

Our daily bread–That is where I first heard your voice. Can you tell them thank you! I’ve been reading and now listening to ODB since my early teens. I’m sure they hear that a lot.

Infertility journey– Can you tell us a little about you and your wife’s infertility journey, whatever you are comfortable with telling us?

Praying Through Infertility–that’s how we met. How did you gather everyone, how did you choose? Was it 37 contributors total? Do you feel that your previous books led to Praying Through Infertility? At least most of the books? I say most because Open House is about writing if I’m correct?

The author of eight books, including Reflect with Sheridan, The Making of Us: Who We Can Become When Life Doesn’t Go as Planned, Resurrection Year: Turning Broken Dreams into New Beginnings, and the award-winning Unseen Footprints. His writing has been featured in various publications…

Can you speak to childless not by choice men for just a moment on how to best deal with or manage the pain women may not be able to understand?

As we close out, can you give us, the childless not by choice community, a word of encouragement? And can you tell us your contact information?

Articles/links of interest:

https://punchng.com/a-thought-for-the-childless-woman-on-iwd-2024/

https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-143-the-things-men-talk-about-my-conversation-with-dr-robin-hadley/

https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-130-about-fathers-day-and-childlessness/

https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-141-downriver-nomad-my-conversation-with-rob-hutchings/

Special thank you to:

Mr. Sheridan Voysey

Sheridan Voysey’s Contact information:

https://sheridanvoysey.com/

Current and future projects:

Couples Discussion Guide

Friendship Lab

Charity, non-profit

friendshiplab.org

Mr. Voysey’s Suggestions for managing childlessness:

Create a journal

Find someone you trust

Join a men’s group

Speak with a man and he doesn’t have to be childless not by choice, make sure he’s empathic

Make space for your emotions

Get counseling

Journal

Read Ephesians 5:1-2

My contact information:

Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com
Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan
Twitter: @civilla1
Instagram: @joyandrelevance
Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM
LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM
https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice
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EPISODE 159--HEADLINES
28 feb· Childless not by Choice
Hello, and welcome to episode 159 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.

Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!

What is today’s show about?

Headlines

Thank you Patreon contributors:

I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.

Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!

If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!

If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at [email protected].

Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!

https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice

Questions or comments? Contact me at:

Email: [email protected]

Or

Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen, and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.

Body of episode:

So, it looks like, we meaning childless not by choice and child free people, are in the news again! It seems like we are always in the headlines, doesn’t it? And not usually for anything positive. There is always commentary, and suggestions, all un-asked for.

Well, in the recent headlines, the word deplorable was used, and the term commercial contract...in the context of those who choose surrogacy to have the gift of a child. I always believed surrogacy to be a gift. Yes, the woman carrying the baby typically gets paid, but why shouldn’t she? And yes, many countries have rules and laws surrounding these agreements. It’s not typically an act or process that is done willy-nilly. Of course like anything else, there are people who opt for the wrong or illegal way of doing things, so why would surrogacy be any different? Well, because a human being is involved. I get it, but calling the act deplorable? That’s kinda intense.

DEPLORABLE

COMMERCIAL CONTRACT

CHILDLESS ELDERLY

RETIREMENT

I get that there are people who like to cut corners and do things for the wrong reasons, but ‘commercial contract’ sounds so, well, non-human.

And I really believe the word deplorable needs to be retired–or just used as little as possible. It is such a harsh word and I don’t think we realize that.

I know we all make mistakes, misuse words and verbiage; we all mess up. But I think the bigger issue becomes when we do not realize how we are affecting people by our words. Our opinions, our words affect people. The term ‘words matter’ has been thrown around a bit in the last few years, to no avail. Some people just do not understand how their words do matter, or how their platform fits into the scheme of the world.

I don’t believe most people mean to be mean. Some people on the other hand, I don’t believe they care how their words affect the listener or the reader, or the ones directly affected by their words. In other words, People may not realize what their words are doing, they have probably not done any research.

Research such as, why do women use surrogates? Why are people childless? Could it be some of them just could not have kids? Before making comments about how the childless fit into the world. What contributions do we make?

You know my story. I wanted children so badly I would have done just about anything to have one. But I also believe that people who did not want kids shouldn’t have to have them. I mean why are we trying to tell people what to do., How to live their lives. Whether or not to have children. Why is this happening? I realize that some commentary may come from the fact that the overall birth rate in the Western world is generally lower than the leadership machine of any given country might like, but where does it end when we start telling people what to do? Making people feel a certain way for not wanting children or not being able to have children.

I had already recorded this episode when I felt like I needed to dig deeper to find out why these comments were made. I searched for context. I couldn’t find any. But I just can’t believe these comments just popped up. There had to be a reason. If I figure it out sometime in the future I will let you know. But for now, this is all I got. They just decided this was their opinion so they said so. But in this world of social media, now more than ever, we really have to think about what we say. No matter how small or how large our platform.

A few announcements please:

Patreon:

If you are a patron, please stop by the Patreon page for a personalized video message from me. And if you are a current contributor, there is also a message in your Patreon in-box. Please stop by the Patreon page!

Apple now provides transcripts!

Apple will now be providing transcripts! I am excited about this because I know there are people who are not able to consume podcasts by listening. There is a link in the show notes that gives the back story and instructions on how to obtain the transcripts.

https://podcasters.apple.com/support/5316-transcripts-on-apple-podcasts

Research links:

https://thedispatch.com/article/surrogacy-is-good-for-women-and-good-for-families/

https://www.npr.org/2024/01/09/1223771148/pope-francis-surrogacy-criticism#:~:text=%22I%20deem%20deplorable%20the%20practice,speech%20to%20diplomats%20on%20Monday.

https://medium.com/illumination/the-dangerous-words-of-elon-musk-incites-hatred-and-division-against-the-childfree-942e5b613406

https://www.businesstoday.in/technology/news/story/elon-musk-support-restricting-voting-rights-for-people-without-children-388215-2023-07-05

Articles/links of interest:

https://www.healthday.com/healthpro-news/bone-and-joint/men-with-inflammatory-joint-diseases-seem-to-have-more-children

https://www.news18.com/viral/california-couple-chooses-child-free-life-says-its-unaffordable-for-them-8784475.html

https://www.gistreel.com/woman-loses-twin-babies-to-church-after-15-years-of-waiting/

My contact information:

Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com
Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan
Twitter: @civilla1
Instagram: @joyandrelevance
Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM
LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM
https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice

QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE:

‘It’s what we do with OUR story.’

If you would like to become a one time or ongoing sponsor, or if you would like to advertise your business or an upcoming event, contact me at [email protected] for details.

Survey:

https://bit.ly/2TSMuDV
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Episode 158--How Old Is Too Old To Have A Baby
2 feb· Childless not by Choice
Hello, and welcome to episode 158 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.

Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!

What is today’s show about?

How Old Is Too Old To Have A Baby?

Thank you Patreon contributors:

I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.

Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!

If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!

If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at [email protected].

Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!

https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice

Questions or comments? Contact me at:

Email: [email protected]

Or

Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.

Body of episode:

How old is too old to have a baby? Apparently it’s not age 70, because it just happened. A woman in Uganda has had not one, but two children. She just had twins!

Now, I’m not one to judge especially when people are dealing with a situation that onlookers may not have all of the insight and details.

I mean she lives in a part of the world where she was probably mistreated, shunned, talked about behind her back, for being childless. I mean check out this quote from the People article, link in the show notes:

‘The twins, who will go by Babiyre and Kato, have given Namukwaya and her husband a new status in their rural village. The mom will be known as Nalongo. which means mother of twins, while husband Walusimbi Badru will be known as Salongo, or father of twins.’

She also said ‘ "There was a time I felt very sick because of the pregnancy. I spent nearly all my savings.’

Those last six words: ‘I spent nearly all my savings’. How many times in our community, have we heard a childless not by choice woman say those words?

As I read this story I was torn between to thoughts, two opinions. I wondered if I did enough to have a child on my own before my time ran out. It’s easy to look back and second guess, but it’s a different story when you are living the moment, so I’m not going to beat myself up.

On the other hand, I wondered if she and her husband consider the childrens’ future? Does she have a care plan in place for them once she and her husband have passed? Does she have help with two newborns? Does she have help with them when they are two or three years old and getting into everything? How old will she be when they turn 18? 88, She will be 88!

How old is too old?

And if we ask how old is too old to have a child? How old is too old to adopt? Although at least here in the US, there are laws in place to make sure someone wanting to adopt has to have age correlation to the child’s. In other words, an adopter cannot be more than 20 years older than the child they want to adopt. According to research, that is more geared toward the adoption of an older child.

How old is too old to foster care a child? Have you ever considered fostering a child? If so, I would like to hear your experiences. Let me know! And actually, any thoughts you have on this episode content I would really love to hear. Especially on the main topic of this episode. How old is too old to have a child? Was this fair to the children, even if the mother has help?

Am I being un-empathetic to this woman’s plight of living in a part of the world where childlessness is frowned upon, and the woman is blamed even if the issue is on the husband’s part?

When do we become content in our childlessness? Is there such a thing, contentedness in our childlessness?

There are links in the show notes to this and other stories I believe you may find interesting.

Also, be sure to visit the Resources tab. There’s a link that will take you to Sheridan Voysey’s site. Remember, I am a contributor to his new book ‘Praying Through Infertility.’

Research links:

https://people.com/ugandan-woman-who-welcomed-twins-at-70-introduces-son-and-daughter-8423729

Articles/links of interest:

https://www.nbcnews.com/healthmain/curious-case-stone-baby-1c9926251

https://www.sbs.com.au/language/filipino/en/podcast-episode/being-a-mother-is-a-selfless-act-that-perhaps-is-not-for-me-a-story-of-a-child-free-filipina-in-sydney/2f71w36y6

https://childlessnotbychoice.net/collaborators/

Special thank you to:

My friend for telling me about this story.

My contact information:

Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com
Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan
Twitter: @civilla1
Instagram: @joyandrelevance
Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM
LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM
https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice

If you would like to become a one time or ongoing sponsor, or if you would like to advertise your business or an upcoming event, contact me at [email protected] for details.
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Episode 157--Our December, Christmas 2023
19 dec 2023· Childless not by Choice
Hello, and welcome to episode 157 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.

Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!

What is today’s show about?

December 2023

Thank you Patreon contributors:

I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.

Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!

If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!

If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at [email protected].

Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!

https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice

Questions or comments? Contact me at:

Email: [email protected]

Or

Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.

Body of episode:

What has happened the last few months

Plans for next year–i have a few people i would like to interview next year. I just need to make it a little further through my grief journey. My brain is mush right now.

As cnbc women, depending on where we are in our journey, let’s pray for the children around the world. Especially those who have no one to pray for them, and those in war torn and conflict areas.

Humans first: I think about the bandwagon quite a bit as i watch what is happening in and to our world, perpetrated by human beings. The things we do to each other is just unbelievable. But it is the taking sides when the correct side is the human side, that gets me. Two things can be true. That is nothing new. Two actions, two behaviors, two responses can be wrong or right. Let’s bring positive thoughts and behaviors to our world.

Next, i had the honor of being asked to be a contributor to renowned author Sheridan Voysey’s latest book, ‘Praying through Infertility’. How cool was that? The book will be available January 30th. I will put a link to more information in the show notes. Please check out the book, and share with everyone you know, childless or not.

Hi everyone. I have some news.

May I introduce you to Praying Through Infertility, due for release in January. I believe it may be a first book of its kind!

A HIDDEN MALADY

Right now there is someone in your office, church, neighbourhood, maybe even your family or among your friends who is battling infertility. They’re feeling isolated, their marriage may be under strain, and their faith may be fraying at the edges because of it. Praying Through Infertility is a 90 day devotional written for them.

Or maybe even you.

There aren’t many resources for Christian couples facing infertility, and many of those available focus on the female experience. In Praying Through Infertility I believe we’ve achieved a first:

️ 37 contributors from 9 countries sharing vulnerably

Both female and male writers (*rare* for this topic)

A variety of outcomes explored: pregnancy, adoption, staying childless

If you're facing infertility, this is the book you've been longing for. If you know someone who is, it's the book to give when you don't know what to say.

THE BACKSTORY

When my publisher approached me about writing this book, I wasn't sure it was mine to do. My hands were full with other projects and I wondered if I'd said all I needed to in previous books. But when I realised this could be a collaborative project, drawing on the experiences of so many I've connected with around the world, a light switched on.

And my goodness, my co-writers have *delivered*, touching on every experience an infertile couple can face:

How to deal with baby showers and scan reveals

How to address marriage and intimacy problems

How to trust God when you wonder who will look after you when you’re old if children never come

AND THE STORIES!

I can't wait for you to read about:

The couple whose shame was tearing them apart, and how they reunited

The couple who not only adopted two children but their young mother too

The husband who was finally able to express his never-expressed feelings

And how so many wrestle with God and stay faithful through it all

As you may know, the childless community is dear to my heart, so thank you for reading this far and for whatever you can do to get Praying Through Infertility into the hands of those who most need it.

The book is out January 30th but available for pre-order with some bonuses now .

#Infertility #infertilityjourney #infertilitywarrior #infertilitysupport

Articles/links of interest:

https://sheridanvoysey.com/

https://childlessnotbychoice.net/about-the-children-3/

Special thank you to:

Sheridan Voysey

Links/apps of interest:
If you are having a difficult time listening to the podcast, try listening on the following apps: Himalaya and Bullhorn.

My contact information:
#youdonthaveto
Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com
Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan
Twitter: @civilla1
Instagram: @joyandrelevance
Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM
LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM

Tik Tok at 2podcastertoo

https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice

If you would like to become a one time or ongoing sponsor, or if you would like to advertise your business or an upcoming event, contact me at [email protected] for details.
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Episode 156--Grief…Again, Hiatus, Love, Loss
1 okt 2023· Childless not by Choice
Intro:

Hello, and welcome to episode 156 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.

Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!

What is today’s show about?

Grief…Again, Hiatus, Love, Loss

Thank you Patreon contributors:

I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.

Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!

If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!

If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at [email protected].

Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!

https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice

Questions or comments? Contact me at:

Email: [email protected]

Or

Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.

My contact information:

Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com
Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan
Twitter: @civilla1
Instagram: @joyandrelevance
Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM
LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM
https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice

If you would like to become a one-time or ongoing sponsor, or if you would like to advertise your business or an upcoming event, contact me at [email protected] for details.
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Episode 155--My Conversation with Stephanie Joy Phillips, Founder of World Childless Week
5 sep 2023· Childless not by Choice
Intro:

Hello, and welcome to episode 155 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.

Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!

What is today’s show about?

My Conversation with Stephanie Joy Phillips, Founder of World Childless Week

Thank you Patreon contributors:

I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.

Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!

If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!

If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at [email protected].

Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!

https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice

Questions or comments? Contact me at:

Email: [email protected]

Or

Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen, and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.

I remember doing a past episode on the different reasons for childlessness. And I recall discussing the fact that there are many reasons for childlessness. You mention in your bio that being in an abusive relationship caused you to take contraceptives so you wouldn’t get pregnant by your partner. Can you speak a little more on that because I know there are listeners who can probably relate.

Tell us how best to deal with unsympathetic doctors. Did you get a second opinion?

What caused you to create World Childless Week?

How do we get involved, where do we listen?

Tell us about the letters that were recently created, for libraries and for jobs.

On your website, you mention that one week per year World Childless Week shows up to remind us how we matter, but that you are available year-round. What does the platform do for the rest of the year?

Give us a final word of encouragement for the childless not by choice community, and tell us how we can find you on social.

BIO:

Stephanie spent a large part of her twenties in an abusive relationship and took the contraceptive pill to ensure children would not be born into that situation. In her early thirties, she met her husband-to-be but they didn't try to conceive until nearing forty. At the age of 39, she was told by an unsympathetic doctor "If he manages to get you pregnant it is highly unlikely you'll carry the full term". She knew at that moment, she would never be a mum.

In 2016 Stephanie Joy Phillips founded three childless support groups on Facebook: Childless Path To Acceptance focuses on support, Childless Chit Chat is a trigger-free zone, and Childless Perks!! is all about laughter and finding the positives of being childless, without a parent saying 'I told you so'.

In 2017 after realising there was no national recognition of the childless community she founded World Childless Week. Seven days that enables the childless community to have a platform where they can find their voice and share their stories with confidence.

Steph lives in Worcestershire with her husband and two rescue cats, Storm and Tea-Cup. She enjoys gardening, arts and crafts, a good book, dining out, and relaxing in front of the television with a puzzle book and one of her two cats snuggled up beside her".

Her website:

www.WorldChildlessWeek.net

Articles/links of interest:

Inclusive Libraries Project:

https://worldchildlessweek.net/inclusive-libraries-project

Inclusion of WCW in employer calendar:

https://worldchildlessweek.net/employer-calendar

My contact information:

Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com
Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan
Twitter: @civilla1
Instagram: @joyandrelevance
Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM
LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM
https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice

‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’

‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.

Survey:

https://bit.ly/2TSMuDV

Copyright 2023©
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Let Me Catch You Up!
29 aug 2023· Childless not by Choice
Hello, and welcome to episode 154 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.

Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!

What is today’s show about?

Let Me Catch You Up

Thank you Patreon contributors:

I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.

Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!

If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!

If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at [email protected].

Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!

https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice

Questions or comments? Contact me at:

Email: [email protected]

Or

Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen, and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.

Special thank you to:

You, the Childless not by Choice Podcast Listener.
Everyone who made suggestions on how to feel better while in Denver.

My contact information:

Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com
Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan
Twitter: @civilla1
Instagram: @joyandrelevance
Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM
LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM
https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice

If you would like to become a one-time or ongoing sponsor, or if you would like to advertise your business or an upcoming event, contact me at [email protected] for details.

Remember, subscription to the podcast is free. Simply go to Apple Podcast, Stitcher Radio, Spotify, Overcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Search for Childless not by Choice, and hit the subscribe button. It’s that easy!

Well, thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice! Until next time! Bye!

‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’

‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.

Survey:

https://bit.ly/2TSMuDV

Civilla M. Morgan
[email protected]
www.childlessnotbychoice.net
Podcast: Childless not by Choice
Facebook.com/childlessnotbychoice/Facebook.com/civillamorgan
Twitter=@civilla1
Instagram= @joyandrelevance
Pinterest=Civilla M. Morgan

Copyright 2023©
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Episode 153--My Eight Year Podcastiversary--Milestones and Lemonade
1 aug 2023· Childless not by Choice
Intro:

Hello, and welcome to episode 153 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.

Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!

Welcome to my eight-year podcastiversary!

What is today’s show about?

My Eight-Year Podcastiversary!

Thank you Patreon contributors:

I would like to take a moment to say a special thank you to the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors. Some of you have been donating/giving/contributing, for years!

Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!

If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!

If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at [email protected].

Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!

https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice

Questions or comments? Contact me at:

Email: [email protected]

Or

Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.

Body of episode:

Before we get started though, I want to give a heads-up to those who listen to the Childless not by Choice podcast on the Stitcher Podcatcher app. Unfortunately, Stitcher is going away effective August 29, 2023. They say you may listen on their sister app Pandora. Many of you may know Pandora as a music app which it is, but Pandora started hosting podcasts a few years ago.

If you use the Stitcher app, there are instructions in the app on how to export your shows so you don’t have to go one by one searching from them in another Podcatcher app.

And as I always say, the Childless not by Choice podcast can be found on just about any podcatcher app including Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Overcast, Himalaya, Bullhorn, Google Podcast, you name it, the podcast is there!

Of course, if you have any questions about how to listen to the podcast, reach out in the Childless not by Choice Facebook Group, email me at [email protected], or Message me on social.

So, I want to talk to you for a few minutes about Milestones and Lemonade!

Milestone: I have been talking to you for eight years and I love it! A great big thank you to the long-time listeners! And a great big welcome to all of the new listeners! I’m so happy you found us! If you have been listening since the beginning, you have been journeying with me through episodes where I had fabulous guests. Times of Me only episodes, aka monologue episodes. You stayed with me through my grief at the loss of my mommy, and you have continued with me as I continue to care for my dad. You’ve journeyed with me by listening to the episodes that I created to help you on your journey, but you have given me grace for my journey. Thank you.

Lemonade. I love lemons! The nice, fresh, ripe lemons that you roll on the kitchen counter a few times before cutting them in half and squeezing them to make lemonade, or squeezing them on seafood to create another level of flavor! But life’s lemons are a whole ‘nother story right?! What lemon or lemons are you dealing with right now? We all get lemons in this life. And I believe although the lemon fruit adds another level of taste to many dishes, including lemonade, life’s lemons can feel harsh. Breathtakingly so sometimes. Until you turn them into lemonade. Remember, life is filled with choices. Unless you decide, choose, to make the best of the life you have been given; the childless not by choice life, things can become, and stay overwhelming for a very long time. Who wants that? Life is too short. Do the best you can with where you are, how you are, and when you are. Most of us don’t have full control over our jobs, our family members, where we live, etc., but whatever you can control, or manage, do. It will be good for your mental health. What is also good for your mental health is also to know the difference between what you can control and what you cannot.

PIVOT

Milestone. The first time I interviewed a man on the podcast was back in 2015! Link in the show notes! I couldn’t believe I had not considered men. It was a whole different conversation. Of course right? Please listen to the episode! https://21stcenturyhannah.libsyn.com/childless-not-by-choice-from-a-mans-point-of-view-with-fellow-podcaster-dr-vibe

Episodes with authors–I searched through the back catalog and found about seven episodes where I had the great opportunity to interview authors who have written on the subject of childlessness. If you have not listened to the back catalog, why not give it a try? I’m saying that knowing full well, like most podcasters, that our earlier work can feel cringe to us, but hey, it also shows how the show has matured.

Speaking of: It’s OK to re-listen to an episode. Just like we re-watch certain movies or shows, we can re-listen to a podcast episode. I notice that every time I have re-watched or re-listened, I catch something I missed the first time. Now, in full transparency, every time you listen, that is a download for me. But honestly, if downloads were all I cared about, I would have quit podcasting a long time ago. There’s a show I watch that is now in its seventh season! I have re-watched most of the episodes multiple times. And I am always shocked at what I missed the first or even the second time I watched. I guess it depends on what we may have been doing, aka multitasking, the first or second time we watch or listen to something. Also, an episode may affect you differently now, than it did when it first came out. So there’s that!

Lemonade. I want to re-visit patronage and giving: If you find value in the content. If the podcast has helped you in any way, consider giving/contributing. I would like to continue creating this podcast, and regardless of the contributions, I will continue. Honestly, if I ever stopped the podcast it would not be because of the finances on the platform. It would be because it is time. But being able to use your contributions to pay for things on the platform, is so cool! Once again, to those of you who give regularly, thank you! If you have been thinking about it but just have not gotten around to it, why not sign up during this time of my podcastiversary celebration? It would be truly appreciated. While I am asking, would you consider leaving a review at Apple Podcast to help bring recognition to the podcast? Anything you can do to help bring recognition to the podcast would be greatly appreciated!

Once again thank, thank you for being here. I see you, I think of you, you are worthy, you are here for a reason. You are fabulous! Don’t forget that! Here’s to another eight years. Cheers!

Special thank you to:

Everyone who listens to the podcast!

My contact information:

Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com
Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan
Twitter: @civilla1
Instagram: @joyandrelevance
Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM
LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM
https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice
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Episode 152--Father's Day, Again
18 jun 2023· Childless not by Choice
Hello, and welcome to episode 152 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.

Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!

What is today’s show about?

Father’s Day

Thank you Patreon contributors:

I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.

Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!

If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!

If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at [email protected].

Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!

https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice

Questions or comments? Contact me at:

Email: [email protected]

Or

Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.

Body of episode:

It may be a little ironic, or maybe not, but I have not created a fresh June episode because I am caring for my dad. Many of you have heard bits and pieces in previous episodes, that I am his primary caregiver. And it is an honor. The last few months, as in since about the end of February, he has battled on through multiple medical issues. And I have battled to advocate for him. Unfortunately, advocating feels like an uphill battle. It sometimes feels like the medical community wants to dictate how I should not care for my father because they know best, even if they just see him as another elderly person.

There were several times when I thought ‘This is it, he’s not going to make it.’ But he continues to be with us. I cherish and thank God for every single day, every minute, I get with him.

Being a caregiver who works, means that I am on the run from the moment my eyes open in the morning, until bedtime. I do my very best to get at least seven hours, otherwise, there would just be no way to maintain my schedule. No. Way. Bottom line, sleep keeps me from falling apart.

I want to thank you for your patience as I navigate my life as it currently is, and my podcasting schedule. Not to pat myself on the back, but because I do take this podcast so seriously, the research, the guests, the everything; being able to go back and ask you to listen to a previous episode, which is what I am asking you to do this month; does not feel like a cop-out.

I have had the great privilege of having fabulous guests throughout the life of this podcast. The episode 143 guest, Dr. Robin Hadley, is no different. Episode 143 first aired in August of 2022. Please take a listen.

Thank you!

Articles/links of interest:

https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-143-the-things-men-talk-about-my-conversation-with-dr-robin-hadley/

https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-130-about-fathers-day-and-childlessness/

Special thank you to:

Dr. Robin Hadley

My contact information:

Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com
Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan
Twitter: @civilla1
Instagram: @joyandrelevance
Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM
LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM
https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice

‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’

‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.

Survey:

https://bit.ly/2TSMuDV
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Episode 151--Without an Anchor on Mother's Day
7 maj 2023· Childless not by Choice
Without an Anchor on Mother's Day

Hello, and welcome to episode 151 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.

Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!

What is today’s show about?

Mother’s Day and Childlessness

But first: Are you following the Childless not by Choice podcast? This podcast, my podcast? It’s really easy to do and costs nothing. Simply go to Apple podcast, search for Childless not by Choice podcast, and follow. As soon as a new episode comes out, you are notified. As a follower, you get the new episode about a week before I start promoting it on social media.

Also, if you are a patron of the show, meaning you make a financial contribution to the show, more on that in a second, you get to be in the know first, whenever something new is happening!

Thank you Patreon contributors:

I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.

Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!

If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!

If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at [email protected].

Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!

https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice

Questions or comments? Contact me at:

Email: [email protected]

Or

Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen, and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.

Body of episode:

This is year four since my mom left this world. I hear tell year three is the worst year of grieving a loss. Does that make year four and beyond, are more manageable? Maybe, but one of the important lessons I learned along the grieving journey, is that people grieve differently.

I’m glad I learned that early because I would have been upset at certain people that did not seem to grieve the way I was grieving.

I also realized that my grief wasn’t necessarily more important, it was just different. And different can happen for many reasons. It can happen if you were the last person to see that person alive, or you were the primary caregiver. It does not mean that the people who were not there or who were not the primary caregiver are not grieving. It just means that people will grieve differently.

That, again, was a very, very important lesson to learn, because I know I would have been upset if I did not get that understanding early.

So, does year four and beyond bring lesser grief? I don’t think so. I think grief just becomes more manageable with time. That’s it.

I find that I smile more when talking about my mom now. I was told that would happen, but I did not believe it! My mom had jokes. She loved to laugh. I am convinced she would have loved Tik Tok. I’ve mentioned this in the past, but she even got jokes out of the evening news. Go figure!

Sometimes I think about the jokes she told over and over, about her childhood. There are inside jokes I will take with me to my grave. There are things she made me promise not to tell. Mostly benign things to be honest. But I will honor her memory by keeping my promises to her.

No matter how young or old you are when you lose your mother, it doesn’t matter, in my opinion. Your mother is your anchor. When you lose her, you lose your anchor, at least temporarily. That was something else I learned early in my grief journey. I couldn’t figure out the feeling I had. I felt lost, and it was scary. Then someone mentioned that she felt anchorless after losing her mother. I remembered thinking, ‘That’s it! That’s the feeling I had, but did not understand.’

It’s so important, at least for me, to listen to other people’s grief journey. It doesn’t mean mine will be the exact journey, it just means I can glean something, and I have. A lot. I have heard some women say things like ‘It’s been 20 years since I lost my mom, and I still miss her so much!’ I was like What?! I can’t feel like this for 20 years!

But now, four years in, I realize what they mean. It’s still early days for me, but I can see how you can miss someone forever but still be able to manage life even as you manage loss.

If you do not or did not get along with your mother, if she did not care for you like a mother should, or the way you needed her to, I believe you can feel anchorless as well. I believe it is definitely a type of loss. And I’m sorry for your loss. I hope and pray for you, a peace that passes all understanding as you continue on your life’s journey.

Is there a convergence at a certain point in life as we continue on our childless not by choice journey, where the two types of grief: the loss of a mother and childlessness, converge?

I think maybe yes. For me, off and on I’ve felt a little off-kilter because there is no one to look back to for guidance, comfort, or commiseration, which is what I got from my mom. And no one to look forward to, in a child, to see what’s going on in the next generation. The only real connection I have to the next generation would be the young people in my life, mainly my nephews. I get a little snippet of what the next generation is dealing with, managing, and experiencing, by watching little snippets of their lives.

I’m a little out of touch with the current music and other trends because, I believe, I don’t have kids. Although honestly, I don’t think anything beats 80’s music!

If you have younger nieces and nephews whose lives you are allowed/able to be a part of, create a relationship with them. It’s easier when they are younger of course, but no matter when it is, start if you haven't already, make a genuine attempt. Even if it’s a card every once in a while, a gift card to their favorite place on their birthday, going to a game when you can, you know. Something that shows them you care. You can do all of that without being pushy. Let me know how it works, or if you need any tips. I am so honored to be a part of my nephew's lives. I hope you can have the same or similar experiences.

Well, before I leave you, let me give you some reminders:

Mother’s Day is a day of recognition. There are many fabulous moms, step-moms, foster moms, grandmothers who are taking the place of moms, aunt-moms, you name it, there are some fabulous women out there doing fabulous things to raise fabulous kids, which in turn keeps society together. Because without them, there would be societal mayhem. If you think things are bad now…if you are one of these people I just listed, thank you!

If you are childless not by choice, remember that you are worthy. We are worthy. With or without the recognition on Mother’s Day, we are worthy! If we are alive we have a role to play in this world. Never let anyone allow you to feel less than.

Practice mental health. If it means staying off of social media, do that. If it means skipping a ‘Mother’s Day luncheon’, skip it. If you recall from earlier episodes, I had stopped going to church on Mother’s Day after my mom passed. I only went to honor her. If there was a luncheon, I went to honor her. Now that she’s gone, I skip church on Mother’s Day. Practice mental health. Whatever that is for you. And don’t let anyone try to guilt you into doing anything you prefer not to do.

Create and maintain those firm but kind boundaries I talk about all the time, so that number three becomes easier to do. It will, I promise.

Do you recall from episode 150 where I mentioned that most childless not by choice listeners probably have had or will have some type of surgery? Well, I asked the question in the Childless not by Choice with Civilla Morgan Facebook page, and I got a number of responses! Feel free to email me at [email protected] Messenger me on Facebook or Instagram, and let me know. I will keep the poll open for a while longer, and share the statistics on a later episode. You all know I love statistics!

#youdonthaveto

Special thank you to:

‘Mareshah Miller, for this quote: ‘Mothers in disguise are called aunts.’

My contact information:

Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com
Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan
Twitter: @civilla1
Instagram: @joyandrelevance
Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM
LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM
https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice

If you would like to become a one-time or ongoing sponsor, or if you would like to advertise your business or an upcoming event, contact me at [email protected] for details.

Remember, subscription to the podcast is free. Simply go to Apple Podcast, Stitcher Radio, Spotify, Overcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Search for Childless not by Choice, and hit the subscribe button. It’s that easy!

Well, thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice! Until next time! Bye!

‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’

‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.

Survey:

https://bit.ly/2TSMuDV
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Episode 150-What Manner of Scar Tissue Mayhem is This!
18 apr 2023· Childless not by Choice
Intro:

Hello, and welcome to episode 150 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.

Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!

What is today’s show about?

Scar Tissue

Thank you Patreon contributors:

I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.

Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!

If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!

If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at [email protected].

Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!

https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice

Questions or comments? Contact me at:

Email: [email protected]

Or

Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen, and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.

Body of episode:

Talk about what put me in the hospital for four days in early March.

So, on March 3rd I found myself in the worst belly pain I have ever had. The pain felt very similar to a pain I had the year before, but the pain had gone away by the next day. This time, it wasn’t going away. By the next day, I made the decision to go to the emergency room. I told them what was going on with this immense pain in my stomach, and they took an MRI of my belly. The test results came back: partially blocked intestines. I was like what?! What does that even mean? It turns out that what was causing the partial blockage was scar tissue.

I asked then scar tissue from what!? My last surgery for anything was in 2011! I was told it did not matter how long ago the surgery was, scar tissue can come back to haunt you at any time. The whole thing sounded out of this world. Unbelievable.

For a fleeting moment, I thought about how all those surgeries I had for a decade, as I tried to buy time. Should I have had the hysterectomy earlier? I should have skipped all of the myomectomies. But the fact is looking back is a waste of time. It doesn’t change anything.

I guess the medical staff was used to this because immediately they gave me a concoction to coat my stomach and quell the pain. They also offered some very strong pain medication, but I declined it as I wanted to be alert and aware. I had gone to the emergency room alone, and my dad had recently been put into rehab. I wanted to be coherent for any possible phone call from the rehab center as he had been there less than a week.

Talk about the statistics for childless women over 50.

So, according to Statista, a statistics company, 15.4% of women over 50 are childless. Why am I mentioning this, because well, I’m, um, a certain age? Ok, I’m in that age group. OK, but I’m talking about this because as I mentioned earlier when I got the MRI results that I had a partially blocked intestines, the first things that started to come to my mind were ‘I should have had the hysterectomy earlier’, ‘I should not have waited an entire decade’, ‘why did I try to buy time?’ All of these questions! Until I made myself stop! Questioning, second-guessing, none of that would change anything now.

Discuss how not to get scar tissue

I have an article on the website www.childlessnotbychoice.net about post-operation behavior to help you heal better and avoid scar tissue. Link in the show notes I knew that avoiding scar tissue was and is very important. I thought I had done everything I could to avoid scar tissue, but I guess not!

Discuss stress, adhesions, and scar tissue

I was told that this type of issue, pain, is typically brought on by stress. And yes, I have been under a lot of stress the last few months. I have been trying to figure out how stress could bring this on. This isn’t my first bout with stress since my last surgery in 2011. But maybe it is a combination of high stress and just plain getting older.

Research links:

https://www.statista.com/statistics/241535/percentage-of-childless-women-in-the-us-by-age/

https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2010/06/25/childlessness-up-among-all-women-down-among-women-with-advanced-degrees/

Articles/links of interest:

https://kashmirobserver.net/2023/03/17/finding-hope-and-happiness-beyond-childlessness/?unapproved=45353&moderation-hash=17d1478d87afd99cead8a3fcc981ecba#comment-45353

Special thank you to:

The hospital staff that cared for me during my four-day stay.

My contact information:

Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com
Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan
Twitter: @civilla1
Instagram: @joyandrelevance
Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM
LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM
https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice

If you would like to become a one-time or ongoing sponsor, or if you would like to advertise your business or an upcoming event, contact me at [email protected] for details.

Remember, subscription to the podcast is free. Simply go to Apple Podcast, Stitcher Radio, Spotify, Overcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Search for Childless not by Choice, and hit the subscribe button. It’s that easy!
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Episode 149--Celebrating Women's History Month
27 mar 2023· Childless not by Choice
Hello, and welcome to episode 149 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.

Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!

What is today’s show about?

International Women’s Month

NOTE: I called it International Women’s History Month on the podcast. That’s OK, right?

Thank you Patreon contributors:

I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.

Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!

If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!

If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at [email protected].

Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!

https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice

Questions or comments? Contact me at:

Email: [email protected]

Or

Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.

Body of episode:

So March is International Women’s History Month. There is so much that can be said about how far we as women have come, and how far we have yet to go. I guess it is like any other so-called minority. There is yet work to be done. And we cannot afford to rest. But we can stop to celebrate every once in a while. Celebration gives us hope for the future, highlights those who have come before us, and those we see as the future.

I thought about highlighting women who have worked to make life better for all women whether nationally here in the US, or internationally. Either way, their work helps us in every corner of the globe. But I’ve done that. It took two episodes to do it too. That’s how many fabulous childless not by choice women there have been, and are. The links are in the show notes for episodes 78 and 79–Childless not by Choice Women Who Changed The World!

But there are two women I have watched and admired for years, and who honestly, let me put the word out, I would love on my podcast! I have admired them for their class and grace in the face of a world that can be really harsh toward women who never had children.

And may I remind you, I talk about the childless not by choice. That is what this podcast has always been about, but if a woman decides she would rather not have children, it is not society’s business. It is her business. Why can’t we mind our own business?

Calling a woman a crazy cat lady because she never had children, says more about the name-caller than it does about the woman. I mean, we don’t typically get to know the real reason a woman never had children unless you listen to a podcast like mine. And I doubt name-callers have the time to actually do the research before calling people names and deriding them. Us.

Anyway:

Tracee Ellis Ross…

Tracee Ellis Ross is the daughter of Legend Diana Ross. She recently talked about not having children, and about going through perimenopause, saying 'I Can Feel My Body's Ability To Make A Child Draining Out Of Me’. Woah! Never thought about it quite like that before!

She never married, so I feel like I have at least two things in common with this legend in her own right. There is a link in the show notes with the entire article. There are actually two links in the show notes with content about Tracee Ellis Ross. Please check them out. No one escapes the joys and sadnessess of life, and I’m sure she has her moments, but I love the way she shows up and does life with positivity, poise, and charm, no matter what.

https://afrotech.com/tracee-ellis-once-addressed-her-black-ish-pay-gap-publicly-i-wanted-to-be-compensated-in-a-way-that-matches-my-contribution?item=5

https://www.essence.com/lifestyle/tracee-ellis-ross-perimenopause/

Jennifer Anniston

In a February 2023 Marie Claire article, Jennifer Anniston talked about the way she used to feel about the rumor mongers and naysayers who knew nothing about her personal life, saying “I used to take it all very personally — the pregnancy rumors and the whole 'Oh, she chose career over kids' assumption,” she told the publication. “It’s like, ‘You have no clue what’s going with me personally, medically, why I can’t … can I have kids?’ They don’t know anything, and it was really hurtful and just nasty.”

We really need to lift each other up as women and keep in mind that everyone has a story. And furthermore, we do not know everyone’s story. How could we? It always amazes me how absolute strangers believe they have the right to voice an opinion about another person’s life.

The link is in the show notes for the full article. Please check that out as well!

https://www.marieclaire.com.au/jennifer-aniston-no-kids-career-comment

So, remember, no matter where on the planet you are, fabulous woman, childless woman, childfree woman, a woman with children; I am thinking of you, hoping for you praying for you, speaking up for you.

You are worthy. You are valued. You are here for a reason. Happy International Women’s month!

There are lots of research links in the show notes for this episode. One in particular that I found interesting because they discuss childlessness, childfree-ness, singleness, single and childess. I mean they discussed all the angles of childlessness. Check it out!

Research links:

Articles/links of interest:

https://womenshistorymonth.gov/

https://nationalwomenshistoryalliance.org/womens-history-month/womens-history-month-history/

https://ifstudies.org/blog/1-in-4-projecting-childlessness-among-todays-young-women

https://afrotech.com/tracee-ellis-once-addressed-her-black-ish-pay-gap-publicly-i-wanted-to-be-compensated-in-a-way-that-matches-my-contribution?item=5

Podcast links mentioned in the episode:

https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-79-part-two-11-childless-not-by-choice-women-who-changed-the-world/

https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-78-11-childless-not-choice-women-changed-world-part-one/

https://www.marieclaire.com.au/jennifer-aniston-no-kids-career-comment

Special thank you to:

All the women in the world!

My contact information:

Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com
Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan
Twitter: @civilla1
Instagram: @joyandrelevance
Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM
LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM
https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice

If you would like to become a one-time or ongoing sponsor, or if you would like to advertise your business or an upcoming event, contact me at [email protected] for details.
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Episode 148--Beg, Plead, Bargain, Repeat!
20 feb 2023· Childless not by Choice
Hello, and welcome to episode 148 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.

Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!

What is today’s show about?

Beg, Plead, Bargain, Repeat!

Thank you Patreon contributors:

I would like to take a moment to thank the people who make a financial contribution to the platform on a monthly basis, my Patreon Contributors.

Your contributions help pay my podcast producer, my podcast host, Zoom, where I interview most of my guests, etc. So thank you very much!

If you are not yet a Patron, visit patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice to set up your monthly contribution. No matter your giving level, I have a gift for you!

If you prefer to give via PayPal, you can find me there at [email protected].

Your contributions to the platform are greatly appreciated! Thank you!

https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice

Questions or comments? Contact me at:

Email: [email protected]

Or

Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen, and click on the link below the telephone to leave me an up to 90-second voicemail.

Body of episode:

I begged, plead, and bargained with God for a family. I wanted at least one kid, a boy. It was always a boy. I even had a name picked out.

You know, it is important not to tell people your business. It was so long ago so I don’t know I don’t know why I mentioned the name out loud, but one day I did.

The first time I heard the name I felt an instant connection. I started researching the meaning, the definition and found it quite fitting for all I had been going through. The tons of fibroids, all of the myomectomies, the crying myself to sleep. The name reaps up painful memories of a challenging part of my journey.

Someone named one of her children that very name. It broke my heart. Honestly, I kinda felt somewhere deep down at that time, that I would not be having a child. But there was still a tiny window of hope. If that makes sense.

I worked at a certain company years ago where I recall all the young moms planning day trips to child-friendly locales. I wasn’t jealous, I thought it was beautiful. It was their way of getting their little people out of the house and getting themselves out of the house as well. All of these young women got along, so they wanted their kids to get along. Nothing wrong with that. But of course, I remained silent. I had nothing to contribute, even to say what a beautiful idea, could possibly make me a target.

I remained stoic, staring at my computer, as they all buzzed around me making their plans.

I know some of you are in that part of the journey right now. And all I can tell you, as trite as it may sound, ‘this too shall pass’. It really will. And the other thing I will tell you is don’t pretend. Yes, it’s OK to smile through your day if that’s what you do, but please go to therapy.

At that point in my life, I had not gone to therapy yet. In fact, it was just before I went. Please go to therapy. Do nice things for yourself as often as you can during this time. Go to the beach, go to your favorite coffee shop, your favorite museum, or whatever makes you happy. And tell yourself every day, that you are worthy. You are not a second-class citizen. You are here for a reason. Remind yourself of all the good things about you, and work on whatever you need to work on to make yourself an even better human. That’s for you to know and to work on.

I am no longer dealing with children issues, I guess it’s grandchildren issues now. I mean it is never going to end, so the best thing we can do for ourselves is to belong to Community, the childless not by choice community. It has grown so much over the last few years. There is a place for you no matter where in the world you are.

You know, as I recall the times of crying myself to sleep, as I listened to my biological clock tick, tick, tick. Begging God to answer my prayers, as things got progressively worse. And then the time came for me to have a hysterectomy. No answer. No response. Those are times that I look back on with a modicum of pain, but I am still here, so I believe my life events have strengthened me. In fact, empowered me. I know the same can be for you. Just hang in there no matter where in the journey you are.

That boy’s name. I won’t mention it. Maybe one day I will. But not today. It is a powerful name. You may try to figure it out. Be my guest. Hint: It’s not a person’s name, but it could be.

You know, I can say that my childless not by choice experience is based on this name. I got nothing out of my life that I expected or wanted. The life I wanted, expected, was somehow sacrificed. Yes, the name is very fitting.

I had to make the decision to push through. To not be bitter. To decide not to be bitter. It is an actual choice, a decision. It doesn’t just happen.

If you don’t make the decision, the results of life will make the decisions for you. And life’s choices, and decisions, are not usually good. We have to literally wash the lemons, cut them up, squeeze them into cold water, with some vanilla or lemon essence, and some sugar. YOu have to literally make the lemonade. Make the best of the life you have been given.

Before I let you go, I want to read this poem to you. I was searching for a notebook to take notes for a course I am taking. Knowing me I figured I had to have an unused notebook somewhere. I happily found the notebook I needed, and there was a folded piece of paper sticking out. It’s dated June of 2004.

Research links:

2004 poem I wrote and just found on the back of a notebook on Sunday, January 15, 2023:

I don’t care how light or dark my baby is, I just want a baby.

I just want him to be healthy.

‘Ten fingers, ten toes, two feet, two hands, and a nose!

Two eyes, two ears; if it's a girl, enough hair for her bows.

Dimples on her cheeks like grandma, or a dimple in the chin like me and grandpa.

Kicking around when she has a pamper change, rolling over which starts her independence stage.

A girly girl, or a boy full of energy; either one, it does not matter to me.

I’ll take one of each at the same time, that would be a sight to see.

Everyone loves twins you see, especially me!

–Civilla (June 2004).

Episode quotes:

‘Do the best you can with what’s left of your heart.’-Civilla

'The journey does not end, the terrain changes.'-Civilla

Articles/links of interest:

https://www.yicaiglobal.com/news/one-tenth-of-chinese-women-are-childless-up-from-6-cpdrc-says

https://people.com/parents/chelsea-handler-explains-why-she-doesnt-want-kids/#:~:text=Chelsea%20Handler%20is%20ruling%20out,see%20children%20in%20her%20future.

My contact information:

Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com
Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan
Twitter: @civilla1
Instagram: @joyandrelevance
Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM
LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM
https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice
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Episoder

Episode 167--Looking Back, Looking Forward

Episode 166--My Conversation with Jody Day!

Episode 165-Our Nine Year Podcastiversary!

Episode 164--THE ISSUES OF RACE AND THE MEDICAL COMMUNITY

Episode 163--Father's Day

Episode162-Why Won't They Listen?

Episode 161--IVF and The Alabama Ruling

Episode 160--Praying Through Infertility, my conversation with Sheridan Voysey

EPISODE 159--HEADLINES

Episode 158--How Old Is Too Old To Have A Baby

Episode 157--Our December, Christmas 2023

Episode 156--Grief…Again, Hiatus, Love, Loss

Episode 155--My Conversation with Stephanie Joy Phillips, Founder of World Childless Week

Let Me Catch You Up!

Episode 153--My Eight Year Podcastiversary--Milestones and Lemonade

Episode 152--Father's Day, Again

Episode 151--Without an Anchor on Mother's Day

Episode 150-What Manner of Scar Tissue Mayhem is This!

Episode 149--Celebrating Women's History Month

Episode 148--Beg, Plead, Bargain, Repeat!