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A common human struggle is when we find ourselves in two minds about a situation or event.
This most commonly happens when we are facing a choice between two (or more) options that are far from perfect.
Over the course of the last number of months I have been hearing from my clients and students about a different type of "being of two minds".
Instead of being caught between two options, they are caught between two emotions. In these conversations we have come to the realization that the best course of action is not to choose one of these emotions because that means denying our humanity.
This week in the podcast we explore what it means to be of two minds emotionally, and how we can tap to support these moments.
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I love sharing tapping with new people. So much so, when the topic of tapping comes up, I will preface my enthusiasm by saying, "This is something that I am passionate about and I can go on and on about it. The moment I start to share too much, just tell me to stop!"
When talking about tapping I usually list all the ways that tapping can be used:
emotional first aid clearing limiting beliefs fears and phobias healing past trauma generational healing physical issuesEven though everything on that list is something that we can tap for, tapping for physical issues isn't something most people do.
Recently, I had a conversation with one of my students about her resistance to tapping for physical issues. It was an enlightening discussion not just about what was holding her back, but what turns out to be one of the biggest reasons people don't tap for physical issues.
This week in the podcast I explore why we don't tap more for physical issues and share a simple checklist that will make it easier for you to do so.
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On August 1st, 2007 I posted my very first article to TappingQandA.com. The article had a very simple title "Making Tapping and EFT Routine".
In the intervening years it is a topic that I continue to talk about with my students and clients because they know that their lives would be better if they tap more.
Just because we know tapping is good for us doesn't mean we do it daily or when we are in emotional distress. AND what is worse, when we know how to do something and we don't do it, we end up beating ourselves up for not tapping, which only makes things worse.
This week in the podcast I share with you five simple steps to making tapping (or anything else) a part of your daily routine. I took the four steps from the old article and simplified them into three steps and added two more which I have learned since writing the first article.
If you have ever wanted to tap daily, then this week's podcast is a must.
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One of the subconscious resistances we have to taking care of ourselves stems from the recognition that we have it better than so many other people in the world. Because we recognize this, we may feel bad taking care of anything beyond our basic needs.
This situation can be compounded when others see us as their go-to person to help them or others, and we find it hard to turn away those in difficulty.
Because of this, I sometimes struggle to take sufficient time to tap for myself beyond a little emotional first aid in the moment.
To overcome this resistance, I have started tapping for someone new. That person is "Future Gene". Future Gene is exactly what he sounds like, it is me in the future.
The funny thing is that I am willing to tap for Future Gene, even when I am not willing to tap for myself at the moment.
In this week's podcast I explore this off-the-wall idea and how you can incorporate it into your tapping as well.
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When I work with clients, I pay close attention to the language they use and I pay particular attention to keywords that alert me to how the subconscious mind might be informing their narrative.
It is so much easier to create change and transformation with tapping if we can identify the often misguided stories driven by the subconscious mind.
One of those words is "should".
The word "should" comes with so much baggage. It does not just express what needs to happen, but carries with it a huge amount of unspoken information and expectation.
In this week's podcast, I break down all of the extra emotional meanings conveyed by the word "should". I also share a simple four-step tapping process you can use to uncover and clear the resistance that usually accompanies the word "should".
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Before we can take action aimed at improving our lives, we need to know what to do, how to do it, have access to the necessary resources, and the internal desire or reason to take action.
Sometimes you might have these four elements in place and still find yourself struggling to act because you are held back by internal resistance.
For as long as I have known about Carol Look and her work (which has been going on for close to two decades), she has talked about how to identify and clear this internal resistance. In her most recent book, The Yes Code, Carol explains the step-by-step process of how you can uncover and release this resistance to help you get to an internal emotional "yes!" and take action.
This podcast with Carol is in anticipation of the release of The Yes Code on October 8th and shares the process of clearing resistance as well as what she learned about herself and the process through writing the book.
You can sign up for bonus training by visiting The Yes Code book launch page.
Support the podcast! Http://tappingqanda.com/support
[player]
Subscribe in: Apple Podcast | iPhone | Spotify | Pandora | Amazon Music | iHeartRadio | YouTubeGuest: Carol Look
Contact: web @ CarolLook.com
About Carol: Carol Look is a Founding EFT Master, licensed psychotherapist, author, world-renowned workshop presenter and speaker, and creator of her signature coaching method, The Yes Code™. Carol has taught workshops in England, The Netherlands, Belgium, France, Canada, Australia, and all over the United States. Known for her laser-like focus and state-of-the-art approach, Carol helps clients release their limiting beliefs and emotional conflicts so they can enjoy lives of exceptional success and fulfillment. Carol is a regularly featured energy medicine expert on leading global summits and is a featured expert in the field’s top documentaries.
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Do you ever feel like no matter how much time you spend working on your personal growth, you’re never truly moving forward?
One of the biggest challenges in creating lasting healing and transformation is the simple fact that there’s never enough time and energy to tackle it all. At any given moment, you might want to improve your health, deepen your relationships, focus on spiritual growth, sharpen your professional skills, declutter your space and, and…the list never ends.
The harsh truth is that you can't work on everything. And the real struggle isn’t just choosing what to focus on, but it’s also the subconscious mind pulling you in multiple directions, forcing you to deal with immediate pains and short-term issues instead of focusing on meaningful long-term transformation.
Our subconscious mind is wired for survival, which means it’s obsessed with right now: the urgent discomforts, the stress of the moment, and whatever feels like a quick fix. This constant urge towards short-term relief often leaves us spinning our wheels, feeling busy but never making any real progress.
The result? We get caught in a cycle of putting out life’s daily fires without ever tackling the deeper, more meaningful changes we long for.
In this week’s podcast, I dive into why your subconscious mind is so fixated on the immediate and how it sabotages your long-term goals without you even realizing it. More importantly, I’ll walk you through simple, daily tapping exercises to break free from this subconscious tug of war, so you can finally focus on the big-picture transformation that truly matters.
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No matter how much we consciously want to focus on a task, subconscious resistance can get in the way, making us distracted and unproductive.
Part of us might be resisting tasks because of anxiety about the quality of what we produce, if we can get enough done, how others will receive our efforts, and whether we will be happy with the end result, to name just a few common concerns.
Last week, I had a task that I needed to complete but I was aware how unsettled my mind was when I sat down to work. To combat the distraction, I created a brand new tapping process to keep me on track.
Not only did it work then, but I have used it every time I have sat down to work since coming up with it.
This week in the podcast I share exactly what I did, and how you can improve your own productivity just by drawing a few circles.
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When we are working on our resistance to taking a particular action, we often end up referring to the past to see if we can identify the roots of our reluctance in not wanting to repeat past mistakes or struggles.
Combing through mistakes we have made can bring up old feelings of defeat and disappointment, leaving us feeling worse than when we started tapping as we experience deep emotions about our past failings.
Unfortunately, the result of this is usually that we give up on our tapping. Not only do we stop moving forward with our healing, but it can put us into a bit of an emotional spiral.
When this happens to me, I have a simple process to get myself back on track.
This week in the podcast I share how to recognize when you get emotionally hijacked in this way, the process I use to get back on track, and we do some tapping to show you exactly how that process works.
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When we are working on healing and creating transformation in our lives, we spend much time looking backwards.
The way we understand ourselves, the world, and our place in the world is informed and created by our past, which means our limiting beliefs, insecurities, and bad habits are often rooted there too.
That is why there are so many tapping tools that focus on the past, such as the movie technique, the photo technique, and the middle school playlist, to name just a few.
While it can be useful to look backwards, sometimes trying to understand our past and why we are the way we are is not helpful and can even get in the way of our healing journey.
This week in the podcast I share when it is useful to look to the past, when the past gets in the way, and a simple way to tap to ensure you do not get caught in this trap.
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The Buddhist concept of the "monkey mind" describes our human tendency to get restless, distracted, or confused.
For some reason, my monkey mind has been going crazy these past few weeks. I feel like I haven't been dealing with a monkey so much as a troop of them! (I just learned that a group of monkeys is called a troop!)
Every fifteen or twenty minutes, I have found myself looking at social media or a news website or my inbox or an online dating app or what the weather will be like tomorrow.
It was as if I had completely lost control of my attention. One minute I was working and concentrating on the task in front of me…and the next, I was firmly in Distractionland.
Instead of beating myself up, I decided to do a little tapping experiment.
The results were AMAZING!
In this week's podcast I share what I tried, how it worked, and what I learned.
This is something you will want to add to your own transformational tool box right away!
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One of the most common forms of resistance people encounter when doing any sort of deep transformational work (tapping included) is the fear of what will be uncovered.
The two most common fears are either that there will be an overwhelming number of emotions that will be difficult to handle or that a previously suppressed traumatic memory will surface.
There is another version of this resistance that is less emotional and less dramatic.
That is the fear that you will learn or be reminded of something that you don't want to hear.
It could be:
an uncomfortable truth about your life an action that you need to take but are avoiding because you know it will be hard a toxic relationship that you need to exit a harmful habit that is you need to give up a realization that you failed in the past because you were unwilling to show up for yourselfNobody wants to deal with these types of truths BUT if we want to create lasting change and transformation in our lives, then we need to face up to these truths and heal our relationship to them.
In the podcast this week I share a simple tapping phase I love that will make it easier to be open to healing and transformation.
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One of the phrases that Gary Craig used in the original EFT training videos that has stuck with me is "the comedies of our mind".
When using this phrase, Gary was referring to the recurring thoughts that we had about ourselves that, when they were examined in the light of day, were seen to be comical or even farcical.
For example, right before I try something hard my subconscious mind will pipe up with, "You have failed before and you are going to fail again."
Unexamined, that thought could stop me in my tracks. But if I pull it from the echo chamber of my subconscious mind and into the here and now, it loses its power. It might slow me down, but I can work my way through it,
This week in the podcast I share with you the process I use throughout my day to ensure I am not a prisoner to these unhelpful and untrue thoughts.
This is an approach that you can use in your tapping and also in your daily life without having to tap.
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New opportunities can be so exciting as they bring the promise of growth, change, and countless possibilities.
The problem is that most of us already have full lives and we don't have the time or energy to add something new.
When this happens, we have a tendency to take one of two approaches.
One approach is to take the plunge in the hope that things will "just work out"...but they rarely do. We find ourselves stretched too thin and not doing anything well.
The other approach is to not try at all. We decide our life is already too busy and allow great opportunities to pass us by, only to feel bad about missing out afterwards.
This week in the podcast I share with you the five questions I use when I am presented with an interesting opportunity. These questions have changed my life to help me to add new exciting things to my life, while still maintaining balance.
I also share how I use tapping to super charge these questions.
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Tapping without words is one of my favorite ways to tap and I do it multiple times a day.
Recently, a few of my friends from the tapping community referred to this type of tapping as "content-free tapping".
When I heard this, not only did I learn a new piece of vocabulary, it actually reframed my understanding of wordless tapping.
This week in the podcast I share with you my eight favorite ways to use content-free tapping.
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Maintaining high standards for ourselves is a good thing and means we have goals to shoot for and measuring sticks with which to evaluate our progress.
Unfortunately, it is all too easy to fall into self-criticism and self-judgment if we fall short of these standards. So much so that it rarely feels like a choice, but the moment we fall short, the internal critical voice comes roaring forward to berate and belittle us.
Even when we are critical of ourselves, we are still able to extend kindness to others and give them the benefit of the doubt.
Evaluating our actions is a good thing…but becoming overly self-critical is harsh and unhealthy.
When I am too hard on myself, one of my best friends gently chides me in a way that transforms the way I feel about myself and what comes next.
He doesn't say, "Gene, you are being too hard on yourself!" because that would not shift my mind or mood.
Instead, he says something completely different that turns everything around.
In this week's podcast I share the one phrase that changes my perspective in these situations, and how that phrase can be incorporated in our tapping.
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One of the highlights of this year's 24 Hours of Tapping was the conversation that I had with Kerri Rhodes. Kerri is one of the program directors of the Helping Addicts Recover Progressively (HARP) program in the Chesterfield (VA) County Jail.
The inmates use many of the tools created by the Peaceful Heart Network to create emotional healing and transformation as part of their recovery process.
In addition to learning about the HARP program from Kerri, we also had the opportunity to hear from the women in the program. Not only did they share their firsthand experience of tapping, but they also led us in a number of rounds of tapping.
This is a conversation that you don't want to miss.
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Most of the time, when we sit down to tap, we are trying to create positive change.
We are trying to:
Release a negative emotion and create a positive one in its place Clear resistance and limiting beliefs so that we can take consistent action Heal a past trauma or story so that our present is not haunted by our pastI love every single one of these tapping outcomes!
But there are times when we cannot create profound change or facilitate deep healing.
Sometimes the best and healthiest course of action is simply to be fully present to the emotions we are feeling. And that is no bad thing.
This week in the podcast I explore the power of feeling the full depth and breadth of our emotions in the moment as we tap. It is one of my favorite ways to tap and something I do multiple times a week.
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The primary goal of our subconscious mind is to keep us safe.
To do this, it is constantly learning lessons from our experience. For example, after touching a hot stove a small child quickly learns quickly not to do that again.
This only becomes a problem when the subconscious mind learns the "wrong" lesson from an experience.
I frequently see this come up when working with my clients around their reluctance to take action. Their resistance usually stems from one of these lessons that is neither useful nor true.
The most common lesson learned is that failure is bad, painful, and must be avoided at all costs. At first glance, this seems reasonable…except that the solution proposed by the subconscious mind is not to try at all.
The logical fallacy is obvious: Not taking action doesn't keep us safe, it keeps us stuck.
In this week's podcast, I share two ways to release the resistance to taking action that is created by past failures.
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Wanting to belong is a basic human desire.
For our ancestors thousands of years ago, belonging to a tribe was a matter of life and death. Without the protection of a tribe and its strength in numbers, death was a real prospect, so this desire to be accepted is part of our genetic heritage.
Even today, on a subconscious level, belonging equals safety and not belonging equals death, though intellectually we know that is no longer true in most situations.
We evaluate whether or not we belong in many ways.
Are we included in activities? Do people ask us for our input and listen to our contributions? Do others share and celebrate their success with us? Are we given a warm welcome when we arrive?Those are clear indications of invitation and inclusion, but there are more subtle signs too. When I am working with clients and students, one of my favorite ways to unearth times in their past when they felt excluded is to ask the question, "In the past, when were you told you were too much of something?"
These types of being "too something" include being too loud, too emotional, too closed off, too dramatic, too quiet, too serious…and the list goes on.
Being told that you are "too something" can bring up subconscious fears of being wrong, and therefore excluded from your tribe.
This week in the podcast we explore how and why the word "too" feels corrosive and as if it undermines our experience. I also share a tapping process you can use to transform those times when you were told you are "too something" into an asset and empowering resource.
If you have ever been told you are too something, then this is a must-listen.
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