Episoder
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No matter how much we consciously want to focus on a task, subconscious resistance can get in the way, making us distracted and unproductive.
Part of us might be resisting tasks because of anxiety about the quality of what we produce, if we can get enough done, how others will receive our efforts, and whether we will be happy with the end result, to name just a few common concerns.
Last week, I had a task that I needed to complete but I was aware how unsettled my mind was when I sat down to work. To combat the distraction, I created a brand new tapping process to keep me on track.
Not only did it work then, but I have used it every time I have sat down to work since coming up with it.
This week in the podcast I share exactly what I did, and how you can improve your own productivity just by drawing a few circles.
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When we are working on our resistance to taking a particular action, we often end up referring to the past to see if we can identify the roots of our reluctance in not wanting to repeat past mistakes or struggles.
Combing through mistakes we have made can bring up old feelings of defeat and disappointment, leaving us feeling worse than when we started tapping as we experience deep emotions about our past failings.
Unfortunately, the result of this is usually that we give up on our tapping. Not only do we stop moving forward with our healing, but it can put us into a bit of an emotional spiral.
When this happens to me, I have a simple process to get myself back on track.
This week in the podcast I share how to recognize when you get emotionally hijacked in this way, the process I use to get back on track, and we do some tapping to show you exactly how that process works.
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Manglende episoder?
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When we are working on healing and creating transformation in our lives, we spend much time looking backwards.
The way we understand ourselves, the world, and our place in the world is informed and created by our past, which means our limiting beliefs, insecurities, and bad habits are often rooted there too.
That is why there are so many tapping tools that focus on the past, such as the movie technique, the photo technique, and the middle school playlist, to name just a few.
While it can be useful to look backwards, sometimes trying to understand our past and why we are the way we are is not helpful and can even get in the way of our healing journey.
This week in the podcast I share when it is useful to look to the past, when the past gets in the way, and a simple way to tap to ensure you do not get caught in this trap.
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The Buddhist concept of the "monkey mind" describes our human tendency to get restless, distracted, or confused.
For some reason, my monkey mind has been going crazy these past few weeks. I feel like I haven't been dealing with a monkey so much as a troop of them! (I just learned that a group of monkeys is called a troop!)
Every fifteen or twenty minutes, I have found myself looking at social media or a news website or my inbox or an online dating app or what the weather will be like tomorrow.
It was as if I had completely lost control of my attention. One minute I was working and concentrating on the task in front of me…and the next, I was firmly in Distractionland.
Instead of beating myself up, I decided to do a little tapping experiment.
The results were AMAZING!
In this week's podcast I share what I tried, how it worked, and what I learned.
This is something you will want to add to your own transformational tool box right away!
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One of the most common forms of resistance people encounter when doing any sort of deep transformational work (tapping included) is the fear of what will be uncovered.
The two most common fears are either that there will be an overwhelming number of emotions that will be difficult to handle or that a previously suppressed traumatic memory will surface.
There is another version of this resistance that is less emotional and less dramatic.
That is the fear that you will learn or be reminded of something that you don't want to hear.
It could be:
an uncomfortable truth about your life an action that you need to take but are avoiding because you know it will be hard a toxic relationship that you need to exit a harmful habit that is you need to give up a realization that you failed in the past because you were unwilling to show up for yourselfNobody wants to deal with these types of truths BUT if we want to create lasting change and transformation in our lives, then we need to face up to these truths and heal our relationship to them.
In the podcast this week I share a simple tapping phase I love that will make it easier to be open to healing and transformation.
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One of the phrases that Gary Craig used in the original EFT training videos that has stuck with me is "the comedies of our mind".
When using this phrase, Gary was referring to the recurring thoughts that we had about ourselves that, when they were examined in the light of day, were seen to be comical or even farcical.
For example, right before I try something hard my subconscious mind will pipe up with, "You have failed before and you are going to fail again."
Unexamined, that thought could stop me in my tracks. But if I pull it from the echo chamber of my subconscious mind and into the here and now, it loses its power. It might slow me down, but I can work my way through it,
This week in the podcast I share with you the process I use throughout my day to ensure I am not a prisoner to these unhelpful and untrue thoughts.
This is an approach that you can use in your tapping and also in your daily life without having to tap.
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New opportunities can be so exciting as they bring the promise of growth, change, and countless possibilities.
The problem is that most of us already have full lives and we don't have the time or energy to add something new.
When this happens, we have a tendency to take one of two approaches.
One approach is to take the plunge in the hope that things will "just work out"...but they rarely do. We find ourselves stretched too thin and not doing anything well.
The other approach is to not try at all. We decide our life is already too busy and allow great opportunities to pass us by, only to feel bad about missing out afterwards.
This week in the podcast I share with you the five questions I use when I am presented with an interesting opportunity. These questions have changed my life to help me to add new exciting things to my life, while still maintaining balance.
I also share how I use tapping to super charge these questions.
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Tapping without words is one of my favorite ways to tap and I do it multiple times a day.
Recently, a few of my friends from the tapping community referred to this type of tapping as "content-free tapping".
When I heard this, not only did I learn a new piece of vocabulary, it actually reframed my understanding of wordless tapping.
This week in the podcast I share with you my eight favorite ways to use content-free tapping.
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Maintaining high standards for ourselves is a good thing and means we have goals to shoot for and measuring sticks with which to evaluate our progress.
Unfortunately, it is all too easy to fall into self-criticism and self-judgment if we fall short of these standards. So much so that it rarely feels like a choice, but the moment we fall short, the internal critical voice comes roaring forward to berate and belittle us.
Even when we are critical of ourselves, we are still able to extend kindness to others and give them the benefit of the doubt.
Evaluating our actions is a good thing…but becoming overly self-critical is harsh and unhealthy.
When I am too hard on myself, one of my best friends gently chides me in a way that transforms the way I feel about myself and what comes next.
He doesn't say, "Gene, you are being too hard on yourself!" because that would not shift my mind or mood.
Instead, he says something completely different that turns everything around.
In this week's podcast I share the one phrase that changes my perspective in these situations, and how that phrase can be incorporated in our tapping.
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One of the highlights of this year's 24 Hours of Tapping was the conversation that I had with Kerri Rhodes. Kerri is one of the program directors of the Helping Addicts Recover Progressively (HARP) program in the Chesterfield (VA) County Jail.
The inmates use many of the tools created by the Peaceful Heart Network to create emotional healing and transformation as part of their recovery process.
In addition to learning about the HARP program from Kerri, we also had the opportunity to hear from the women in the program. Not only did they share their firsthand experience of tapping, but they also led us in a number of rounds of tapping.
This is a conversation that you don't want to miss.
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Most of the time, when we sit down to tap, we are trying to create positive change.
We are trying to:
Release a negative emotion and create a positive one in its place Clear resistance and limiting beliefs so that we can take consistent action Heal a past trauma or story so that our present is not haunted by our pastI love every single one of these tapping outcomes!
But there are times when we cannot create profound change or facilitate deep healing.
Sometimes the best and healthiest course of action is simply to be fully present to the emotions we are feeling. And that is no bad thing.
This week in the podcast I explore the power of feeling the full depth and breadth of our emotions in the moment as we tap. It is one of my favorite ways to tap and something I do multiple times a week.
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The primary goal of our subconscious mind is to keep us safe.
To do this, it is constantly learning lessons from our experience. For example, after touching a hot stove a small child quickly learns quickly not to do that again.
This only becomes a problem when the subconscious mind learns the "wrong" lesson from an experience.
I frequently see this come up when working with my clients around their reluctance to take action. Their resistance usually stems from one of these lessons that is neither useful nor true.
The most common lesson learned is that failure is bad, painful, and must be avoided at all costs. At first glance, this seems reasonable…except that the solution proposed by the subconscious mind is not to try at all.
The logical fallacy is obvious: Not taking action doesn't keep us safe, it keeps us stuck.
In this week's podcast, I share two ways to release the resistance to taking action that is created by past failures.
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Wanting to belong is a basic human desire.
For our ancestors thousands of years ago, belonging to a tribe was a matter of life and death. Without the protection of a tribe and its strength in numbers, death was a real prospect, so this desire to be accepted is part of our genetic heritage.
Even today, on a subconscious level, belonging equals safety and not belonging equals death, though intellectually we know that is no longer true in most situations.
We evaluate whether or not we belong in many ways.
Are we included in activities? Do people ask us for our input and listen to our contributions? Do others share and celebrate their success with us? Are we given a warm welcome when we arrive?Those are clear indications of invitation and inclusion, but there are more subtle signs too. When I am working with clients and students, one of my favorite ways to unearth times in their past when they felt excluded is to ask the question, "In the past, when were you told you were too much of something?"
These types of being "too something" include being too loud, too emotional, too closed off, too dramatic, too quiet, too serious…and the list goes on.
Being told that you are "too something" can bring up subconscious fears of being wrong, and therefore excluded from your tribe.
This week in the podcast we explore how and why the word "too" feels corrosive and as if it undermines our experience. I also share a tapping process you can use to transform those times when you were told you are "too something" into an asset and empowering resource.
If you have ever been told you are too something, then this is a must-listen.
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Erik Tait is a world class magician and someone I love to see perform. He has spent over two decades performing as a juggler, standup comedian, and magician.
In 2020 Erik decided that he wanted to compete in the 2022 FISM, which is the world championship of magic. Even though he is comfortable on almost any stage in the world, in preparing for the competition he realized he had some deep-seated fears that were affecting his performance. His fear was so acute that it would cause his hand to shake uncontrollably, which is the last thing a card magician wants.
Erik's therapist taught him tapping and he credits it (and other tools) with helping him to overcome his fear and win third place in the competition. This made him only the fourth American to accomplish this, and the first American to stand on the podium for card magic in two decades.
In this week's podcast, Erik shares how he was first introduced to tapping, how he used it to overcome his fear when preparing for FISM, and how he still uses it today.
Even if you never want to perform on stage, Erik's insights are valuable for anyone interested in improving their performance in any arena or endeavor.
ALSO, if you want to be blown away by world class magic, you can watch the act we talked about during the interview here: Erik Tait's FISM performance
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Guest: Erik Tait
Contact: web @ ErikTait.com; instagram @eriktait
About: Erik Tait has won awards for both standup comedy and magic throughout North America, appeared on Penn & Teller: Fool Us, and was the 2018 International Brotherhood of Magicians Gold Cups Close Up Competition Champion. He took home third place at FISM Quebec 2022, the world championships of magic, in the category of card magic. Erik is only the fourth American to accomplish this, and the first American to stand on the podium for card magic in two decades. He graduated with honors from the prestigious Humber College Comedy Writing and Performance program, which means Erik can academically prove why he is hilarious. Beyond that, Erik is the only magician in the world with a degree in funny. He has put academic theory into practice on some of the most prestigious stages in the world, including The Magic Castle, Second City Toronto, and the Hollywood Improv. His client list has some of the most recognizable brands in the country including Honda, Macy’s, and Bark Box.
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There is a natural human tendency to want to make sure everything is "exactly right" before we take action. That's because when everything is exactly right, we can be as sure as we can be of getting the results we desire.
Our subconscious mind takes this idea to the extreme because its key driver is the need to keep us safe. In addition, it has a tendency to overreact when things go wrong.
Here's how it goes:
The subconscious wants us to be safe Any small thing that goes wrong is not only unsafe, the subconscious mind judges it as catastrophic The easiest way to make we are safe is to do everything "perfectly" As perfection is generally an unrealistic and unattainable goal, the subconscious holds us back from taking action while waiting for ideal circumstances that never comeOn the surface, this logic makes sense except for the fact that things will never be perfect. That leads us to over-thinking and failing to take decisive action.
This week in the podcast I share a simple concept and how to incorporate this concept into your tapping so you can avoid getting caught in this unproductive trap.
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One of the reasons I love art is because it gives us the ability to communicate meaning in ways that we aren't always able to do when simply talking about our lives.
We have all heard the expression that "a picture is worth a thousand words", which is true, and it is so much more than just that.
The genres of science fiction and fantasy offer us the opportunity to explore the human experience without the political and cultural baggage of our modern world.
Recently, I have been listening to the audiobook version of Frank Herbert's Dune. One of the underlying themes is how our emotions impact our ability to make good choices in moments of crisis.
There is one particular litany that the main character Paul recites multiple times in the story to calm his fear in the moment.
In this week's podcast I explore how that litany and Paul's journey to conquer his fear has impacted my tapping. I even built a tapping script based on the book's text.
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One of the reasons I love tapping so much is that it can be used for so many types of issues. It can be used to:
Provide emotional first aid Break down a limiting belief Heal a past memory Manage pain Clear a substance sensitivityFor me, it is super important to know why I am tapping in each given moment. Am I simply trying to calm myself when I feel overwhelmed so I can take action OR am I dealing with emotional resistance to taking action because I fear failing at my next task?
When I know what I am trying to accomplish, it makes it easier for me to stay on track so I can better evaluate my progress to see if I need to keep tapping on the issue.
Over the last few months, I have come to realize there are two different types of tapping issues that I had conflated into a single issue. I was approaching how I feel in a moment and what state I am in as if they are the same thing.
These are two distinct areas to tap for, with each having a different approach and different goals from the tapping itself.
In this week's podcast, I break down the difference between tapping for an emotion versus tapping to change your state, when you should be tapping for each, and how to tap to change your state.
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Late last year my friend Brad Yates reached out to see if there was some way we could use our platforms to encourage more people to tap for peace and to become more active peacemakers in the world.
After a number of conversations and with help from lots of our tapping friends, we relaunched the Tapping4Peace.com website.
The movement is simple. If you sign up to participate, you will receive a short email every week.
The email will remind you to do some tapping for peace AND if you aren't exactly sure how to do that, the email will contain a link to a tapping resource from a different practitioner every week to help you to do exactly that.
After signing up to join us, a number of people suggested that it would be fun to gather live and do some tapping together as a community. It was such a great idea that is what we did last Sunday.
People from all over the world joined us live.
This week in the podcast I am sharing some of the tapping we did, so that you too can tap with us to create more peace in the world.
Please tap along and join the Tapping For Peace Movement here: Tapping4Peace.com
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I love the fact that tapping can be used to clear and transform so many things that are negative.
It can be used to:
Release a negative emotions Heal a past memory Transform a limiting belief Reduce (or even) eliminate physical pail Quiet our critical voiceDid you know that in addition to being able to transform the negative it can also be used to reinforce the positive.
This week in the podcast I share a simple step by step process that you can use to reinforce and enhance positive feelings and positive states.
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Tapping is deceptively simple.
It is so easy to teach the basics of tapping that I have done it before in under five minutes with a quick drawing on a bar napkin.
But hidden behind its simplicity are the subtleties of the art of delivery. Each issue, person, and resource state can require a different approach to get the maximum effect.
With this in mind, it is easy to fall prey to trying to find the exact best way to tap for an issue. Searching for the very best approach can lead us to overthinking the process, which may result in us not tapping at all.
This week in the podcast I share a simple tapping approach to counter this type of overthinking. This approach can be your full tapping session, a way to get unstuck in the middle of a tapping session or you can use it to start a tapping session.
It is so straightforward to add to your tapping tool box that you'll be able to start using it right away.
Handout: https://tappingqanda.com/no-agenda
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