Episoder
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“So much of what we do perpetuates problems, not by intent, but by a lack of understanding.” -Dr. Mike Barnes
The main focus of the recovery process is often given to the addict in the family and there’s nothing wrong with that. It is out of genuine love that they go to great lengths to make sure the needs of their loved one are well provided for. But for family recovery to be realized in its entirety, they must look into the often undermined effects of addiction: trauma. Family members don’t realize that they are traumatized until they start prioritizing their own needs. Hence today’s episode homes in on how to help family members realize that they are traumatized and help them recover from it. Our guest, Dr. Mike Barnes also talks about the biology of how we cope with problems and the epigenetics of addiction and trauma. This understanding will greatly help in the treatment and recovery process that families may choose along their journey. He also differentiates between problem and crisis and how our stories create an impact on the decisions we make. Dr. Barnes also gives some suggestions in making the paradigm shift in family recovery even more effective. It only takes one or two members to spark the change. The question now lies on who’s going to take that privilege.
Get the show notes, transcription and resources mentioned at http://thefamilyrecoverysolution.com/
Highlights:
03:47 Serving Families With Addiction
10:47 Living in Recovery Together
18:32 Coping Begins With Family Goals and Values
23:48 Helping Families To Understand That They Are Traumatized
31:53 The Epigenetics of Addiction and Trauma
38:13 Understanding The Biology of How We Cope To And Solve Problems
44:50 3 Rules of an Alcoholic Family And How to Challenge Them
54:55 A Shift In Recovery Processes Needed
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“We need to communalize rather than individualize. And we need to normalize rather than pathologize.” - Ed Tick
The society we’re living in today has forced veterans to carry the moral and social burdens of warfare alone. As a result, their unspoken pain and sorrows evolved into trauma and addiction problems which also affect the family unit that they belong to. From this, societal issues increase and communities sink into decay. To address this problem, Dr. Ed Tick and Denise Klein join the platform to share their wisdom. They impress on seeing beyond the surface recovery and diving deeper into the feelings associated with addiction rather than just the cessation of visible symptoms. They also expound on how to spark significant cultural changes as opposed to smaller individual changes and how to build communities through visualization, open communication, and creating opportunities. They also highlight the need to normalize rather than pathologize. Individual empowerment is the key to strengthen the family and eventually the whole community. Tune in and join the healing movement!
Get the show notes, transcription and resources mentioned at http://thefamilyrecoverysolution.com/
Highlights:
04:00 Veteran Experience Help Heal Addiction
13:30 Symptoms That Causes Breakdown In Families
16:34 Trauma As Normative Part Of Experience
18:13 Educating People About Trauma
30:08 Everyone Gets Traumatized Everyday
35:45 Making Trauma More Visible
40:18 Move Into Normalization And Communalization
45:31 Warriors Return
48:07 Empowerment And Being Authentic
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“The idea behind sex addiction is not to stop having sex entirely and remove sex from your life. The idea is to develop a healthy sexuality.” - Joshua Shea
The desire for love and pleasure is innate to all humans. However, as the world evolved, activities that were traditionally regarded as private and conservative are gradually becoming acceptable with the general public. Pornography is one of the industries that has dominated the web and access to it has become easier. As a result, even school-aged children are at risk of developing an addiction as their curiosity peeks and peer pressure pushes them deeper into the pleasure pool. Today, Joshua Shea, a former pornography addict, shares his battle with pornography. He lists the warnings signs of pornography addiction and differentiates the two types of pornography users. He also gives a comparison of different addictions and what makes them similar to each other. As we begin to understand pornography, the kind of intervention necessary becomes clearer and the motivation to stand against it becomes stronger. Pornography may have the power to destroy morals and psychological balance. But nothing is stronger than a family working together to uphold their integrity. Tune in and learn how to develop a healthy sexuality.
Get the show notes, transcription and resources mentioned at http://thefamilyrecoverysolution.com/
Highlights:
05:50 Internet Has Changed The Game
11:38 Warning Signs Of Pornography
20:00 Two Types Of Pornography Users
23:01 Two Things Partners Need To Do
28:11 Parallels Of All Addictions
30:40 Standpoints Of Family Members
37:33 Understanding Pornography
43:13 Addiction Is A Disease
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“There's no ruler until that addict bottoms out and wakes up into their conscious self, their authentic self, and starts the path of recovery.”
Codependency is a confusing topic under addiction. Numerous ideas branch out that often lead to misunderstanding and eventually, increased harm. Today, Rene Eram joins the stage to enlighten some of the misinformation on codependency and expound on the subject from a different perspective. He explains the nature of roles played out in the drama and points out to these roles as both inherited where one comes out as dominant. These invisible patterns create an obsessive connection that often leads to betrayal, rejection, and abandonment. Rene also discusses the hang-over stage in this type of relationship and nurturing broken programming as a means of coping mechanisms. We all can be addicted to something but this conversation warns mainly on a much destructive form of addiction: progressive addiction. The goal of recovery is to neutralize codependency and move to your authentic self. Don’t miss out on today’s episode.
Get the show notes, transcription and resources mentioned at http://thefamilyrecoverysolution.com/
Highlights:
02:50 Fascination With Invisible Patterns
04:07 Invisible Patterns
06:09 Two Roles: Controller And Dependent
11:16 Codependent Mapping
20:26 Hang-over Stage
24:32 Inherited Pattern Of Codependence
37:12 Being Their Authentic Self
43:49 Self Rescue Mission
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“The real key to success is what happens after they leave treatment.” -Stan McKnight
Technological advancement has really brought the world to a new era. Communication, education, travel and even relationships are not how they used to be decades ago. If you’re contemplating on finding an intervention that’s compatible with your situation and conditions, there are things that you must consider. Stan McKnight shares his expertise on navigating addiction and recovery. It’s rather imperative to know the do’s and don’ts before jumping in to a decision. The life of your loved one is at stake, hence, an uneducated or partially educated judgment can be very detrimental. This conversation is full of wisdom that can help you and your family before, during and after treatment. Stan also shares a useful tool to aid in developing accountability and trust in the family nucleus. Today’s episode is for everyone who is determined to get to recovery and change their life forever.
Get the show notes, transcription and resources mentioned at http://thefamilyrecoverysolution.com/
Highlights:
02:48 Getting a Vital Lesson From Interventions and Recovery
07:38 Addiction- 2000 and Beyond
09:07 What NOT To Do
16:03 How to Diagnose Denial
17:24 What To Do
21:59 The Accountability Tool
27:29 Send the Right Message
32:42 Try IAM!
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“All you need to do is take action every day to support your body and your body is going to take care of you.” -Nancy Miggins
To take care of yourself is to take care of others. The last thing we want is to fall ill when everybody has already recovered. It’s something everyone must do and gain mastery over. When we are at the negative end of the continuum, we cannot function at an optimum level. Therefore, any decision made while in that state of stress can mean only trouble. Joining us in today’s episode is Dr. Nancy Miggins, a seasoned expert in health and wellness. She provides practical guidance on how to master self-care in 8 simple steps. She also lets us in on some fun facts about detoxification and weight loss. The human physiological makeup is designed to be able to heal itself. Therefore, as the owners of our personage, it is our sheer duty to support it. Join in and “reclaim your power over health”!
Get the show notes, transcription and resources mentioned at http://thefamilyrecoverysolution.com/
Highlights:
03:50 Reclaim Power Over Health Without Narcotics
08:13 How to Shift From Self-Destructive Patterns
17:49 Stress and Disease
21:06 Facilitated Pathway
24:39 How to Break Down Stress
29:37 How to Find Gratitude Amidst Crisis
40:30 Where Does Healing Really Happen?
46:52 8 Daily Practices to Master Health
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“The first step is really just seeing what the pieces are at play and accepting the pieces at play as they are.” -Vincent Peronne
Sometimes what makes our fight harder is not the fight itself, but the things that we can’t control. In that event, what are we to do? Vincent Peronne sheds light on this topic and expounds on the inside out of neurology. He also shares about the Safe and Sound Protocol (SSP), a type of sensory-intervention developed by Dr. Stephen Porges and how it can complement recovery. You can move through adversities and win your battle. This conversation will help you determine the best possible steps to help your loved one.
Get the show notes, transcription and resources mentioned at
http://thefamilyrecoverysolution.com/
Highlights:
03:33 Learning the Inside Out of Neurology
12:48 Strength of the Family vs Strength of Addiction
24:44 The Safe And Sound Protocol and Sensory Healing
33:17 What’s In and Out of Our Control
38:50 Effective Handling of What’s In and Out of Our Control
46:52 Groups and Nervous System Regulation
49:46 Increase Your Resiliency
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“The gut is the gateway to health.” -Stephanie Small
Want an intervention that’s effective and natural? We often resort to medicines to get a dose of relief without really understanding what we are treating. Healing comes from addressing the root cause rather than just alleviating symptoms. Apparently, biochemistry plays a huge role in symptoms we mistake as psychological or emotional. Stephanie Small joins us in another life-altering conversation on mental health nutrition. She expounds on the influence of gut health to body homeostasis. Occurring imbalances can create somatic chaos that often lead to inflammation or even depression. But, there is something you can do. Tune in to today’s episode and learn the healthy and effective way to recovery.
Get the show notes, transcription and resources mentioned at
http://thefamilyrecoverysolution.com/
Highlights:
02:57 Doing What Social Workers Do and Beyond
06:58 Before You Pop A Pill
11:34 How to Detect Imbalances
17:43 It’s Not Just About Eating More Vegetables!
26:08 Gut and Inflammation
31:38 The Body Under Prolonged Stress
37:04 Accountability and Recovery
41:23 When to Eat Potato Chips
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“Your kid’s addiction or your family members’ addiction is not your responsibility. How you react to it is your responsibility.” - Kevin Petersen
Addiction is a worldwide trend. It comes in many forms and in varying degrees. Thus, families need to be on guard at all times. However, it’s really hard to exercise withitness in the family. Sometimes, we are not even aware that our own children are addicted. Dr. Kevin Petersen shares some tools and knowledge to help families move away from addiction. The family unit is a cradle of love, support, wisdom and protection. It is where life’s joys and sorrows are shared. If the family is able to perform its function, then addiction has lost its place in the family circle. Nobody beats addiction alone. When families work together, there is guaranteed success.
Get the show notes, transcription and resources mentioned at http://thefamilyrecoverysolution.com/
Highlights:
02:30 Taking the Natural Evolution in the Addiction and Recovery Path
09:48 Setting Up Boundaries
14:51 Family Support is Essential
23:25 Reach out Early
31:06 Resources and Guidance for Families
37:18 Ask for Help
42:02 The Sooner, The Better
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“There’s no such thing as drug treatment. What we really need is holistic counselling that incorporates work on the drug issue.” - Robert Schwebel
As individuals begin to see that they have addiction issues, they begin to think about change. But to go from contemplating about it to actually taking action is no piece of cake. Dr. Robert Schwebel expands on why people use drugs and why they hesitate on taking that first step towards recovery. He also shares about his Seven Challenges Program, which is used worldwide in motivating individuals to evaluate their lives, consider changes that they want to make, and take steps to implement those changes. But for transformation and recovery to really take place, people need to believe that their life could be better and get in touch with what truly matters to them. Join in to today’s podcast and discover how you can grab hold of that change and make it into a reality.
Get the show notes, transcription and resources mentioned at http://thefamilyrecoverysolution.com/
Highlights:
04:30 The Spark of Interest
11:16 Feeling Powerless
17:44 Being Honest to Ourselves
26:25 Looking at What You Like About Drugs
29:00 Think About the Harm
31:00 Stop the Shame and Blame
33:00 Looking to the Future
40:07 What Will You Do?
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“Be your own favorite patient... And whatever you're struggling with makes life really deep and brings you growth and wisdom. Don't turn away from it; embrace it as riches for you to mine, to gain love and wisdom for the rest of your life.” –Dr. Ed Tick
There’s a strong diversion in the healing spectrum called denial. Apparently, it is the nation’s leading disease as well. It’s hardly pounded within cultures, ancestral lines, communities and families and there’s no escaping its grip. Learn how to combat denial and transgenerational trauma as the American shadow gets exposed and a new perspective on addiction leads to a new identity. Move towards an addiction-free and happy family life with today’s episode. An enduring positive change is on the horizon. Your next move is a step nearer that bright tomorrow.
Get the show notes, transcription and resources mentioned at
http://thefamilyrecoverysolution.com/
Highlights:
03:53 Dr. Ed Tick on Addiction as a “Symptom”
15:42 How Families Can Help and Receive Help
24:16 We’re Well or Ill Together
31:50 Denial & Transgenerational Trauma
39:01 Assume Your Identity
44:54 Sending Out Your Recovery Message
49:13 Ancestral Healing
55:34 The American Shadow Exposed
58:01 Be Your Own Favorite Patient
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“I really have a lot of faith in the power of family coming together.” –Jeff Jones
We’re in for another special treat! In this episode, Rex West interviews our very own, Jeff Jones. Jeff shares a bit of his background and how he became “the Jeff Jones” that we know today. His story pictures how families deal with their own crisis and the role each one takes on which can potentially create a larger dilemma for their family. Jeff’s experiences helped him see the patterns around addiction and how this creates a massive impact around the family’s well-being as a whole. As a therapist, Jeff sheds light on the subtle aspects of addiction and which type of intervention is best for a specific family situation.
Jeff believes in the power of families. Of course, family crisis is inevitable and it comes in many faces and intensity. But a family is specifically built so that no one will have to face these problems alone. As a coach, Jeff helps families see their situation in a new lens, one that magnifies hope and gives a clear picture of how resilient they can be.
Get the show notes, transcription and resources mentioned at
http://thefamilyrecoverysolution.com/
Highlights:
03:20 The Inside Story of Jeff Jones
13:32 Why Families Do Not Understand Their Own Story
21:37 How the Past Haunt the Present
28:16 A Solid Decision to Change and Help Make a Change
31:23 The Role of Roles
40:03 The Neuroscience of Addiction
43:52 What Type of Intervention is Best for Your Situation?
52:01 The Family’s Recovery Message
54:06 Unique Intervention with Jeff
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“It's never too late. And it's never really hopeless, ever.” –Dr. Adi Jaffe
Recovery is not a “fix” and neither is it measured by mere abstinence. The impression we get must go beyond what the eyes can see. To really work out the issue, a solid connection and understanding must be established. No one is better than the other. Some just had a better circumstance; thus, sympathy plays a major role in recovery. Discover the epigenetics of addiction and how shaming becomes a destroyer in a deeper sense. Travel through the untold stories behind why people become hesitant to undergo treatment and how to effectively address them. Today’s episode serves as a testimony that it’s never too late. There’s always a light at the end of the tunnel and it gets brighter every step you take. So go on and don’t lose hope.
Get the show notes, transcription and resources mentioned at
http://thefamilyrecoverysolution.com/
Highlights:
02:45 From Jailed to Hailed
10:25 5 Reasons Why People Shun Treatment and How To Address Them
16:40 Give Unconditional Help and Eliminate Shaming
21:16 Where the Problem is Lies
26:48 Epigenetics- When the Environment Controls Biology
31:26 The Inappropriate Way to Measure Recovery
39:09 Give Them A Break
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“You don't have to be a coach, a professional coach, to cultivate some of the most important coaching skills.” –Barb McAllister
Perhaps, humans are endowed with that superhero attitude to go and rescue somebody. Sometimes, though, people tend to have a distorted view of a distress call. Not everybody needs to be rescued. Although the motive is right, the outcome may not be as beneficial for both the ‘rescuer’ and the person being ‘rescued'. This episode expounds on the drama triangle, particularly on the ‘rescuer’ role and the disadvantages of stepping into this role. Recovery is not far off from your reach. Sometimes, to help others, you might need to start with yourself. Listen in and see how the drama in your family can turn into happy ending story.
Get the show notes, transcription and resources mentioned at
http://thefamilyrecoverysolution.com/
Highlights:
01:30 Growing Up in a Family with a Lot of Drama
05:17 How to Relate to Yourself
15:14 The Drama Triangle
25:54 Maintaining a Healthy Boundary
30:29 The Door Out of the Rescuer Role
35:58 The Right Question Before Jumping In
40:49 Get Off the Roller Coaster
44:25 Be Aware of Your Own Triggers
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“It's scary when your kids are going off the rails and you don't know what to do, and you're frustrated and feel kind of hopeless or helpless. That's when you need to take care of yourself so that the steps that you do take are informed by your best thinking. Take time… Find a way back to yourself so that you can bring your best self to this work.” –Brooks Witter
Raising an adolescent is indeed a really challenging role for parents. It’s when the kid is finally crossing the bridge between childhood and adulthood. Around this period, the family is turned upside down. As teenagers witness and experience the sufferings in this world, they become more and more confused. Others act out while others withdraw and in time it becomes a head-on family struggle. Today’s episode is packed with guidelines and wisdom to help you towards your goal to get them through this troubled years and launch them as happy, responsible adults. Take care of both your teens and yourselves. Don’t get your hopes up. You can be successful and fulfilled parents.
Get the show notes, transcription and resources mentioned at
http://thefamilyrecoverysolution.com/
Highlights:
02:21 Brook Receives His Call of Service
06:33 Being a Parent of a Child Who’s Acting Out
18:00 Being A Parent of a Withdrawn Child
22:38 How Parents Can Talk to Your Child
29:25 The Larger Picture of Human Suffering
36:15 Effective Family Time
39:48 A Resource for Parents
46:36 Take Care of Yourself
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“The kid is not the problem… It's the whole system.” –Rex West
When kids demonstrate the problem in the family, they get criticized. There is an unheard message beyond the family culture. Today’s podcast navigates the larger context around these family issues. How families support individuation and deal with their sufferings can create change in their system. Learn the 3 simple rules that every family needs to start implementing now. Stabilize your family, for it is the foundation on which every member, present and future, will be holding on to.
Get the show notes, transcription and resources mentioned at
http://thefamilyrecoverysolution.com/
Highlights:
03:27 Growing Up in Colorado
14:09 From Teaching to Psychotherapy
21:29 Supporting Individualization
27:16 Brain Development & the Male-Female Biological Make-up
34:50 3 Rules for Families
41:11 The Impact of Family Culture in Various Forms of Subtle Addictions
49:09 The Truth-Teller
51:15 Change the System
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“If we face it like we want to make this better for everyone, then that's when we come to the solutions that are going to… focus on the big picture, which is saving people's lives.” –Dr. Joshua Gowin
Nobody wants to fall prey into addiction. However, certain factors can increase a person’s susceptibility to addictive substances. Today’s podcast sheds light on these aspects that are sometimes not emphasized. Dr. Joshua Golwin also shares his research on the brain’s physiology and how this relates to possibility of relapse. This episode also teaches us an important lesson: Don’t let stigma and general opinion stop you from finding solutions. Focus on the big picture.
Get the show notes, transcription and resources mentioned at
http://thefamilyrecoverysolution.com/
Highlights:
02:31 Looking into the Human Brain
06:38 Addiction as a Brain-Based Disease
17:50 How Much of Biological and Environmental Factors Contribute to Addiction?
22:38 The Role of Stress and Family Patterns
29:59 A Look at Brain Regions as a Determinant for Relapse
36:51 A Message of Compassion
39:50 How Recognition Can Help
42:05 How to Deal with Addiction
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“I was in more control of my world… It wasn't me trying to control my world out of fear; it was me controlling my world because it felt good.” –Josh Ritcher
If you’re struggling to start that transformation in your life, you must be misinformed about something: Change is NOT a big AHA! Learn how to control your mind, control yourself, and eventually, control your world. Today’s podcast will teach you how to empower your brain in the most satisfying yet simple ways that you can do right at this very second. It’s the little things that count.
Get the show notes, transcription and resources mentioned at
http://thefamilyrecoverysolution.com/
Highlights:
03:12 When Much was Too Much
08:02 “I Love Myself” Experiment
16:49 Shoulds to Coulds and The Need to Feel Valuable
22:22 The Best Mental Intervention and Body Fuel
29:34 Change is NOT a Big AHA!
36:09 Neurons That Fire Together, Wire Together
43:11 The “H” Word
53:49 Out of the Red Zone
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“See it sooner so you can choose more powerfully faster.” –Donna Zajonc
The Drama Triangle has long been part of human story. But it is no ordinary drama like the ones we see on TV or movies. It’s a scenario where all participants can have a rotational switch of roles. It gets chaotic as the story progresses rather than being solved. The downside is, the drama never gets resolved and the story never ends. Today’s episode will help families get out of this zone and reach their own happy ending.
Get the show notes, transcription and resources mentioned at
http://thefamilyrecoverysolution.com/
Highlights:
04:07 Making Ideas Come to Life with David and Donna
05:58 The Drama Triangle
15:20 Flight, Fight, Freeze and Appease
24:03 Mindfulness Over Role Switching
29:36 Self-care
33:21 The Antidote for the Drama
40:00 Pseudo Relationships
46: 48 Do things Together
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“When we change our pattern, often that entire family starts shifting without even realizing that they're doing it.” –Dr. Seth Kadish
Patterns- something that all people possess that they don’t even recognize. This conversation will shed light on how patterns naturally happen through the course of life. Though they move us in routine, patterns help us cope and defend ourselves. However, some of them are not beneficial to us or our family in any way and needs to be tweaked. Here’s a list of the top 3 common patterns in families with addiction from Dr. Seth Kadish. Rewrite your life with a new set of pattern that truly makes you feel safe and secure.
Get the show notes, transcription and resources mentioned at
http://thefamilyrecoverysolution.com/
Highlights:
01:01 Working with Varied Systems
03:12 Searching for System Patterns
06:43 The Negative Pattern of Thought-Emotion-Behavior
17:24 Addressing Addiction Patterns – Go Below
21:36 Caught in the Pattern
28:54 ‘The Positives and Negatives of You’ Exercise
32:55 The Top 3 Addiction Patterns
40:30 Intervention: Breaking the Patterns
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