Episoder
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On the final episode of Friends Reunion, John bribes Niki, LB and Jordo to watch his favorite movie, Larry Crowne (2011), written, directed, produced by and starring Tom Hanks. Afterwards, the ground discusses a trip to Diggerland USA, a real place that only Niki is allowed to say the name of out loud.
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The Fanbyte Thinktank reconvenes to address another slate of issues facing today's Sleepy Americans, including Upload's new name, if milk is juice, what to do when potatoes green inside, the truth about lizards in your garden, if potting soil can "affect dogs," whether the Queen is dead and if she ever killed anyone with her own hands while alive, whether John is more successful than Lewis Hamilton, that U2 album they put on everybody's phones, toothpaste smuggling, and somehow, even more.
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For the first time in forever, the entire Fanbyte Thinktank is reunited to tackle the pressing issues facing today's Sleepy Americans, including why there are so few guys in a band called Blink-182, what we would do on our first day as President of the United States, putting Jimmy Carter in Fortnite, how even our coworkers don't know what this show is, telling the hair person all your secrets, installing a McDonalds in the White House, the final 912 choco tacos, and somehow, even more.
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With John lost somewhere in the morgue of an enormous cruise ship, LB and Niki decide to discover more about themselves by taking a quiz designed to identify Americans who are unfit to serve in the trenches of World War 1. Also, unfortunately, we all learn about "vabbing" together, as a family.
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While John's off enjoying a luxurious cruise aboard the S.S. Morgue, LB and Niki celebrate Barley's birthday by shopping for a lightly used train. They also discuss regional driving etiquette, the guy that gets in your body to do stuff sometimes, LB's favorite Japanese train youtuber, the erotic thrill of eating bread in the morning, losing control over your mouth/mind, being to tired to act on any of your great ideas, publicly accessible fire alarms, and impressively, even more.
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With LB aboard the International Space Vacation Station, Niki and John are left behind to plan John's rapidly approaching cruise to Alaska. But first, Niki decides to outline their plan for a new airline, Pan-Am 2, before moving on to assorted boat facts and, finally, things about Alaska. There's also a lot of discussion about that guy that jumped out of space for Red Bull, for some reason, which right now sounds about as dangerous as going on a cruise.
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The Fanbyte Thinktank reconvenes to address a new slate of problems facing today's Americans, but first we check in with our hosts to see how their medication regimens have changed recently. LB's blood pressure medication gave them chronic dream fighting, and Niki's new Shakira drugs have them operating on a new plane of existence where 14-day weeks suddenly make perfect sense. (John's meds are the same, but he could still benefit from a butt removal.) Eventually the panel tackles the problem at hand -- BMW's new subscription seat warmers -- after a brief trip to the Museum of Modern Art.
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John is aboard the International Space Station to atone for his sins this week, but LB and Niki are still here to help celebrate a certain special someone's birthday. As part of the festivities, our intrepid duo discuss getting hot and falling over, the health benefits of getting a blood infusion from Carlos Santana, going to a Fourth of July parade in the year 2022, long division, whether Radio Disney still exists, life before Wikipedia, Girls Generation, SSRIs, and irrevocably, a lot more.
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Smooth Week 2022 is finally here, and while local smoothness expert LB Hunktears couldn't make the recording session due to a desperate need for their services aboard the International Space Station, Niki and John are here to hold it down by implementing a new, never-before-seen hybrid podcast format (with the help of our long-cancelled basketball show, Corner Three).
The incredible remix featured in this episode was created especially for us by callie g (@chuuurls). Thank you!!
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Much like Yom Kippur, this week's episode is a time for penance and atonement, in which the Fanbyte Thinktank looks back at the rolling calendar year and apologizes for all of the patently false things they rightfully said during the show, including that time Niki said that everything the blood touches is drugs, or that time Niki said that anytime you're inside of something, you're fucking it. Most of these are Niki actually, but LB also said that a baby will die if you put it on a bed that's too big, so there's plenty of blame to go around.
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It is once again time for Fanbyte's annual Great British British Off, wherein our esteemed panel of Accent Experts judge our staff's ability to pull off a British accent. The winner takes away a fabulous prize, and there are no losers! Except maybe you depending on how you felt about last year's episode!! Grab some cheeky Nando's and strap in, mate!!!
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The Fanbyte Thinktank convenes to plan their strategy for next year's 24 Hours of Le Mans race, including which sponsors to select, which car to drive, how fast to drive the car once they've got it, way more piss than you might expect, a very helpful State Farm representative, and somehow, even more.
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It's Gimmick Month™ at Friends Reunion, and to kick things off the Fanbyte Thinktank tackles one of history's oldest and most controversial subjects: Milk. What happens if you dunk Siren Head in milk? Does milk have pulp? Would you eat "the motor oil pancake" for $100? What are probiotics, anyway? And what's the Indy 500 got to do with it? Have you told a friend about Fanbyte dot com this week? Listen to find out!!
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John brings Niki and LB to the bargaining table in an attempt to learn what, if anything, can be done to get them to watch the 2011 romantic comedy Larry Crowne starring Julia Roberts and Tom Hanks. The Thinktank also discusses related topics, including the contents of Muscle Milk, the contents of the Holy Bible, that era of straight porn when everything was a parody of something, the difference between sardines and anchovies, whether John could ride a bike, and against our better judgement, even more.
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With Niki aboard the International Space Station for medical treatment, John and LB answer questions from the Fanbyte Discord and also cover a few of their own pressing topics, including the physics of pissing yourself while driving an F1 car, the limitations of the TikTok algorithm, which animals work at 5'7", the latest UFO drama, the best spicy noodle, and even a quick trip to the grocery store.
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New intern Charles educates the Fanbyte Thinktank on a number of pressing issues, including the whole deal with Cincinnati Chili, whether or not Master Chief nutted, "raw dogging the 'cumbers," bat infestations, Stern's new Jurassic Park pinball machine, Polish delicacies, and crucially, even more.
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The Fanbyte Thinktank trips into a first-of-its-kind episode, in which worlds are made, destroyed, merged, and torn apart. Doing so will involve olde timey urethra blockage remedies, Swedish singer-songwriter Robyn, southern colloquialisms, way more REM than any previous episode, and of course, Doctor Steven Strange.
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With Niki aboard the International Space Station, Jordo steps out from behind the mixer to join John and LB for another session of strategic problem solving. This week, the gang tackles the difference(s) between Mark Summers and Bob Saget, retroactive goof insertion possibilities, movies being way too long now, what Bjork is up to lately, the entrapment inherent to showing somebody a video, the reality tv realness spectrum, being a Messy Kid™, and improbably, even more.
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Actual real-life bird scientist Mikko Jimenez takes a break from his research at CSU's AeroEco Lab to educate the Fanbyte Thinktank on scrub jay deception, digiscoping, bird intelligence, recognizing your spark bird, the difficulties inherent to tracking magpies, the importance of romantic literature to ornithology, easy things you can do at home to help birds, and miraculously, even more.
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On the anniversary of Abraham Lincoln's assassination, the Fanbyte Thinktank convene to ask some important questions about the life and times of Jesus Christ, the car from that Tracy Chapman song about a car, Morty's time in prison, diseases you can get from high fives, "how make computer chip," the dumbest things we've ever lied about, the most famous people we went to school with, and improbably, even more.
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