Can I (or Anyone) Ruin God’s Plan for My Life?

24 apr · Finding God in Our Pain

00:24:10

The topic, or the question for today is, can God's plan for your life be ruined, specifically ruined by our own poor choices, or can it be ruined by the choices of other people by way of impacting our life? I wish that question was cut and dry, but the answer is yes and no. That's the best short answer I can provide, but we're going to use Scripture as our basis as we push out this topic.

There are tons of truth that will show you, no, God's plan for your life cannot be ruined, no matter the contributing force. However, near the end of this podcast, I talk about the one thing that can indeed block God's plan for your life, and I don't think you'll be surprised when you hear what it is. I do hope that you'll receive a fresh dose of encouragement and that you feel empowered to take the next step.

And here's how this topic came up and why I wanted to share it with you. I had the chance to speak at a Christian women's event, and Psalm 23 was the verse that their gathering was based on. I get excited about Psalm 23 (as many of you know this about me). Memorizing that particular Psalm has been such an incredible weapon for me, not only in my every day, ordinary life, but it's my lifeline when things are complicated and painful.

When I proclaim Psalm 23 over my life or the life of my loved ones, it infuses me with hope, encouragement, confidence, and it strengthens my faith muscle.

Allow me to tie this in really quick as another resource for Psalm 23. After I had a measure of grief healing, I could look back and see how God worked in my life in ways (at the time) that I did not discern, and I wanted to share how God showed up. And so, I did a stand-alone podcast episode titled Here's How Psalm 23 Showed Me God's Faithfulness. In this episode I gave tangible examples of what it meant for God to be faithful in the midst of my grief.

Currently it has over seven thousand six hundred downloads (I'll put the link in the show notes). I add that little bit of info because in this episode we're going to specifically build on Psalm 23:3 as our core scripture. With regard to the question, can God's plan for our life be ruined, the verse reads, "He restoreth my soul. He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake."

The purpose of drawing the focus in on that specific verse is that I want to look at God's heart for restoration, as well as look at other examples of how the heart of God is to restore us to his paths of righteousness, who He created us to be for His name's sake. Think about how invested God is in us. We are His name sake.

If you're one of my faithful listeners, many of you know my story of unexpectedly losing my husband in early 2018. It was six years ago as of February 21st, 2024. He left our home at 8AM. Everything seemed fine. However, by lunchtime that same day, he had a massive heart attack and passed away. Something my boys and I never saw coming. Never.

Out of that pain a portion of my redemption is to encourage believers in the dark valleys of life, so I spend a lot of my time looking at the good God I profess through the lens of pain and suffering. I have the precious privilege of my guests allowing me into some of the most vulnerable moments they've ever known. It is an intimate space to be allowed into because I get a glimpse of how God enters into our pain and how he works in the privacy of someone's personal devastation.

When life no longer resembles anything we once knew, I think it's a fair request we make of God to put things back like they used to be. I too have pleaded with God. I had been with my husband for a little over 33 years. I repeatedly asked the Lord to give me back my normal, return things to how they used to be. Give me back my old life.

Struggling under the weight of pain and an internal fight to orient myself and to gain my footing, in my mind, it actually seemed possible that if I could just go back to the way things used to be, everything would be OK. Life would be good again.

If you've got some life under your belt, life experiences with some hard things, more than likely you've asked God to put things back like they used to be. And I've shared this with you before, this type of pain, loss, suffering is not exclusive to losing a loved one.

Anytime we struggle under an immense weight of pain, (no matter what it personally means to have your world flipped upside down), our brain is grasping at anything familiar. And yet, at the same time, panic is there because we know in the back of our mind, or maybe it's in the back of our heart, knowing that this shaking and shifting is actually exploding our life into tiny little pieces.

That's why it's so important to grieve when life takes unexpected twists and turns. After a life changing event, it will not return to how things used to be. It simply can't. And we need time for our head and our heart to catch up.

When life goes missing, the good news of the gospel isn't exclusive to our salvation. It is the reason that we can know anything good on this side of heaven.

There are times when we'll find ourselves in broken, painful consequences because of our own choices. And then there are times when we'll find ourselves in broken, painful consequences because of someone else's choices or simply because life happens, like with my husband. Either way, we're left with the aftermath of what feels like a head on collision.

In any of these situations, something that had been previously tethered to our heart, our life, our identity has been disrupted. And when it's broken, it's broken. Acting like it isn't broken only delays the suffering.

Whether we find ourselves in the position of needing God to restore us because of our own choices or the choices of others, we have two perfect biblical examples that are proof that we can know and experience God's hope, healing and restoration. The biblical proof that I'm going to share is something you are more than likely very familiar with but I want to look at these historical accounts, potentially/hopefully through the lens of a fresh new reminder.

For those of us who have made poor decisions (and I count myself among these precious people), whether we're living with lifelong consequences, maybe unforgiveness is eating at us, or shame and guilt stab us like a knife. Be encouraged by this beautiful example of God's power and authority to repurpose our poor decisions.

God's standard, His rules, His precepts, are for our safety. So, when he told Eve (and he told Adam too) eat from any tree in the garden except that one, the tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, he did so as a loving father who wanted to protect his children.

And as we know, Eve decided to go outside the boundary that God had put in place because she had heard from the serpent that eating the fruit would make her like God so that couldn't be a bad thing, right? Eve loved God.

But what Eve didn't bargain for is that while she would indeed know something God knew, Eve did not have the authority and the sovereignty to handle or overcome this new knowledge. The reality of her choice came with consequences, and that's what God was trying to protect her from. He didn't want her to endure the consequences that he knew were attached to her choice. It was going to break his heart as he watched her struggle under the reality of this knowledge with no power against it.

I feel sure, because I'm a mama, that what broke his Fatherly heart the most, Eve was now separated from him. And He knew who was coming for her. The enemy and a constant battering on her mind and her heart and her body. Steal, kill, destroy, steal, kill, destroy.

Sean Covey said, “We are free to choose our paths, but we can't choose the consequences that come with them."

Eve's choice to do things on her own terms resulted in more than a lifelong consequence. We live under a generational curse because of Eve's choices.

The language of the culture today gives us so-called encouragement by telling us to handle things on our own. You see all the social media quotes and posts about being independent and strong and how you don't need to rely on anyone. You don't have to ask for help, you can do it yourself, and you're so strong but that my friend, is the world talking. Every single time without exception when I want to handle things in my own understanding and with my own discernment, I will create a coping skill or some sort of self protection method apart from God’s plan to heal and redeem.

If I don't take the thing straight to God and expose it, ask for his guidance, input and his wisdom, I end up struggling with something God never intended for me to endure. I end up in the negative, struggling with things that are detrimental to my well-being, less than God's best for me. The result of me doing things independent from God is that fear and anxiety show up. My emotions want to lean into depression. I start feeling disconnected, feeling like no one sees me or no one cares. I have a constant feeling of overwhelm. All these things have Satan's fingerprints on them. These types of steal, kill, destroy feelings.

So, Eve bites the apple, introduces sin to the world, and then God threw his hands up and proclaimed that his plan was ruined and that he didn't know what he was going to do now, right? No! Thank God, no!

Eve's choice, catastrophic as it was, did not overpower God's authority. God always has a plan of restoration. A plan that overwhelms the broken things of this life. God flips the script on the pain and suffering in this life and brings beauty from our ashes, both for our good and his glory.

For those who choose the finished work of the cross, the curse that Eve put on us is broken. Because of Christ's shed blood and resurrection, we have direct access to the heart of the Father. His heart for us that desires to save and restore.

And that, my sweet friend, is why your poor choices do not have the power to destroy the calling on your life. Can we temporarily derail the original path? Delay it? Cause added obstacles and complications where we show up with additional baggage than before we went off the rails? Yes, we can. But once we submit ourselves to God, when we repent and bring it into the light, His light, we get to watch him transform our situation and return us to His paths of righteousness.

In God's plan of redemption things like regret, shame, guilt, unforgiveness, and the like have been accounted for or planned for. God knew it was coming. He's not surprised by our humanity. He was not caught off guard and had to scramble to figure out how to manage this new revelation that we threw at him.

Sweet friend, he's made a way for you and I to lift our heads under the weight of our choices and even better, we don't have to wait for heaven. I think our biggest challenge is comprehending the truth of God's heart for restoration and stepping into it.

If we knew how true, how strong God's heart is for restoration, we would grab a hold of it in the here and now. We wouldn't delay for a single second. We don't have to pray for God to have a heart of mercy and restoration. We don't have to look for it, work for it, hope for it. That's who he is, with or without our acknowledgement. All we need to do is engage his heart. And how do we do that?

Cultivate a life of intimacy with our Father. Discovering who he really is versus who we want him to be, who we think he is or who we think he should be. Get to know his heart and who he says we are and watch your life be transformed.

For those of us who by no choice of our own, find our lives flipped upside down, that which was the atoning sacrifice to correct Eve's selfish decision is also perfect proof that despite the horrific tragedies in this life, abandonment, rejection, innocent blood, being misunderstood, lied about, betrayed, all the different ways that one human being can choose to assault another human being, the list is endless.

Nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing is impossible for God. His plans are bigger, his power is sovereign, and his authority answers to no one. He has no rival and no equal.

And allow me to add this example of God's extensive power and authority. Hell, the lake of eternal fire, is the place God has ordained where people will spend eternity if they choose not to allow Jesus to pay their sin debt.

Hell is God's real estate. That's why God's word plainly tells us in Philippians 2:10-11, "Whether in, heaven, on the earth, or under the earth, every knee will bow and every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord."

From the very pit of hell, God will be acknowledged. In either eternity, (heaven or hell), we're on God's turf and we are on His Kingdom territory. And that is why I can guarantee you that God can bring good despite the devastation of this life. Hell answers to God.

With God having no rival and no equal, and because all things are under His authority, He ordained the death of His only Son as the acceptable atoning sacrifice that would break the curse of our sin penalty.

Yes, Christ's death was planned, but Jesus would not have the luxury of avoiding the human aspect of that suffering. He would suffer in every way that we do as humans.

Jesus's life, his horrific death, the burial, the victory of his resurrection, and ascension to the right hand of the Father would not be without deep pain. A soul aching, bone saturating submission that caused him to cry out to the Father to give him relief from the torment, anguish that brought blood out of Jesus's pores while in the garden of Gethsemane. And not just the physical suffering, but the very core of who God is.

Our God, the God of the Holy Bible is the God of relationship, and Father and Son would be separated. God would turn away from his son until our sin penalty was paid in full and the curse was broken. And what result does God bring about with his son's horrific death? Colossians 2:15 tells us in the NIV, "And having disarmed the powers and authorities, he made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross."

And let's not forget Ephesians 6:12 that tells us the importance of disarming the powers and authorities, Ephesians 6:12 in the NIV tells us, "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world, and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."

Christ's death publicly put Satan to shame, both in the physical world as well as being acknowledged in the spiritual realm.

If you've had no choice about what happened to you, where does this leave you? What does Christ's death, burial, and resurrection mean regarding what you've lost? Ultimately, Jesus offers us hope, healing and restoration but it will take courage to heal. The dark valley you find yourself in…God knows the way through. He’s been there. He put to shame the evil that has been inflicted on you. You do not walk this journey alone. No valley is too dark nor is there one that is too deep for him to bring healing.

I do hope it's comforting to know that God fears nothing. Not our anger or our rage, not our ungodly questions, not the evil of this life.

There is simply nothing about our existence that God fears because he has the power and authority (the permission and ability) to take the very thing that Satan meant to destroy us with…and not necessarily destroy us, as in our physical death. Satan is content if he can destroy us with our thought life, hold us captive through our emotions, or keep trauma locked in our hearts. It's all the same to him. If it will silence us, make us bitter, isolate us, paralyze us, or separate us from God from his truth in any way, shape, or form, it's a payoff for Satan.

God isn't afraid, dismayed, overwhelmed or disconnected because no matter our situation, his solution is redemption for absolutely anything evil that this life can dish out. What we can't do in our own strength, the fact that we have no power or authority to change our circumstances, but God. God repurposes the reality of pain. Not that He immediately takes us out of it, but in His hands, we're guaranteed that our pain is never for no reason. He takes the evil pain inflicted upon you and turns it into purpose. That's a table prepared for you in the presence of your enemies.

I feel sure I've shared this with you before but allow me to share once again, something the Lord spoke into my spirit as I processed the death of my husband. I was telling God that I found no comfort in what people were saying to me, that God does not give you more than you can handle. I knew they were trying to be kind, and so I received it with grace, mainly because even I've said that before to people.

But now, standing on the receiving side, it's stung every time because I wanted to scream. Oh, yes, he does. I assure you he does. I am undone in every way. I did not choose this, and I don't want to be here.

So, I took all of that pain to the Lord. It was probably considered ungodly, and it was raw, but it was honest. And in the midst of my breakdown, the quiet, calm voice of the Holy Spirit downloaded something very precious into my heart, and it changed my perspective. It is something that I will always hold close to my heart, he said Sherrie, I don't allow anything I don't plan to redeem.

And that didn't mean that I was going to skip the grieving process or forget my husband. It simply meant that nothing touches his children that he does not have the power to use for our good in his glory. He always has a plan. God always has a plan that overwhelms our limitations, that rewrites the mental, emotional, and spiritual demise that Satan had planned for us.

So, my sweet friend, no matter the reason that you're struggling with the evil of this life, my encouragement for you today is rest. Rest your weary heart. Rest your mind and the constant running from one anxiety laden thought and memory to another.

Grab a hold of this lifeline Matthew 11:28 "And then Jesus said, come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest."

Your heart can have complete confidence that God will take care of you to the degree that you allow Him. And here's where the Yes, God's plan for your life can be blocked. Because remember, He will never force himself on us. He doesn't push us into anything. He extends His hand and invites us to allow Him into our pain. He will gently, tenderly work in the places that we expose to him. To walk in our full calling is to engage God’s heart on an intimate level. In that intimacy we find healing, meaning, clarity, and our calling.

Plenty of people leave this life, never having fulfilled the calling on their life because they did not have the courage to allow God to heal them. And I'm not saying God can't work in your life on your behalf. I'm just saying that if you don't engage him, the benefits of your healing are limited, and you won't perceive what he's doing.

In the healing process, you discover things about God that solidifies your value and your worth. If you keep God at arm's length, you'll miss out on the secrets that He has that he only reveals in the darkest, most painful places of life. He responds to our authentic, honest, and transparent pain when we trust Him with it.

Whether we're a victim of our own bullying because we won't accept God's forgiveness, nor will we forgive ourselves, or we're a victim to someone else's choices and maybe there's some unforgiveness there that holds us hostage. I want you to remember this. In the fight between good and evil. Forgive, don't forgive. Heal, don’t heal. Rest, don't rest. Trust, don't trust. The push and the pull. Do you know what the prize is? Do you know why the fight is so intense?

It's your heart. Your heart is the prize. It’s the place where the fountain of your devotion, affections, love, commitment, are sheltered in. All that God placed in you when He knit you together, creating you in His image.

You get to choose who you give your heart to. Either one. Satan or Jesus. Because both are pursuing you, both have a plan for your life.

Let this truth settle deep into your heart. Amid such a savage battle for your heart and I say savage because we know that Satan is cruel, ruthless, and full of vile hatred for the things that bear the image of God, you. But God is savage in his extravagant, pure, selfless, uncompromising, unapologetic love for us.In this every day battle for your heart, Satan sees your heart as a trophy with bragging rights. But God sees your heart as a priceless treasure that he longs to restore, right up until the moment you get to see him face to face.

Friend, let's embrace God's restoration. Let's have the courage to heal and fulfill God's plan for our lives.

Additional Resource: Another Podcast Episode You May LikeEpisode Title: Here’s How Psalm 23 Showed Me God’s Faithfulness -Website w/audio: https://alifeofthrive.com/2022/08/17/heres-how-psalm-23-showed-me-gods-faithfulness/Audio Only: https://www.podbean.com/eas/pb-mqbaw-1295c97

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Micro Moments With God to Grow Relationship Intimacy
14 aug· Finding God in Our Pain
Discussion Points:*Host, Sherrie discusses a Bible Study titled "Do You Love Me? Exploring Our Relationships with God and Others" by Debbie Swindall, facilitated by Amy Heilman of Breathe Deep Ministries, which has deeply impacted her relationship with God.*Sherrie emphasizes the importance of making intentional time to engage with God, especially during emotional or challenging moments, to discover His love and purpose for us.*She shares her journey of finding peace and intimacy with God, highlighting the challenges of slowing down and truly resting in Him, rather than merely checking off religious tasks.*The episode encourages listeners to seek God's presence in every micro moment, using specific action steps to process emotions and receive God's grace and guidance, ultimately experiencing a more peaceful and fulfilling life.
Podcast Episode/Transcript: This is going to be a short episode but it was important enough for me to make it an episode because I had to share this study with you. It’s titled, Do You Love Me? Exploring our relationships with God and others by Debbie Swindoll. Published by Grafted Life Ministries. From what I can discern it’s been around since 2014; I have the 3rd edition published in 2018.
Have you ever had the opportunity to participate in this particular bible study? If so, I’d love to hear your thoughts, your takeaway. This is the first time I’ve ever described a bible study as sweet. The most tender hearted bible study I’ve ever been a part of. When I say tender hearted, it’s because of the way it reveals the Father’s love for us, His heart to know us and for us to discover Him. The point that was highlighted for me, was the simplicity of what God requires of us in order to know Him more. Then I was perplexed because I treat it with such difficulty.
Because of the way I’ve grown in my intimacy with Christ (after doing this bible study) I wanted to make you aware of it as well. Should you want to participate I can definitely get you in contact with my friend who is the founder of Breathe Deep Ministries, Amy Hellman. I don’t receive any type of compensation for connecting you with her. Her contact info will be in the show notes. She’s not the publisher nor the author but she facilitates this study.
You may be familiar with Amy’s name because she has been on my podcast a couple of times. A few years back she was a guest and we talked about her book Soul Stripper. It’s a free download online. It is her personal story of how God works with us to strip us of (by way of healing) the various ways we’re attached to this world. As well as the ways we attempt to satisfy our flesh or people please etc. and she moves us into finding our identity in Christ, a strong identity in Him alone.
Also, she did one other episode where she took the mic to interview me about my first year of podcasting, asking me questions about all that I had learned through the messages that my guests had shared. That would have been in Sept. of 2021, which reminds me, I’m putting together some pretty exciting things for my 4 year anniversary in September of this year! I’ll keep you posted.
And then lastly, real quick with Amy you may have heard me speak of finding, what I considered and it has proven true, my last layer of healing from abandonment issues. Part of my journey with finding healing for various things associated with my childhood. Amy walked me through Theophostic Prayer and using that healing model the Lord gave me a vision.
I’ve talked about the vision before so I won’t repeat it again, so we can get to the purpose of this episode but engaging the Holy Spirit through Theophostic prayer and the vision of the Lord’s presence (in a very scary time as a child), broke off the last bit of pain associated with abandonment. All that to say this, the reason I even know anything about this study is because I’m currently seeing Amy for Spiritual Direction counseling and she offered me this study and I gladly joined in and boy am I happy I did.
The Lord has been calling me into these pockets of quiet time with Him. As He’s doing that it’s never been more obvious to me that my challenge is to slow down. Rest. Rest in Him. Rest with Him.
I actually thought I was slowing down because my typical pace and the fact that I was making time to engage the Holy Spirit showed a marked difference in my life even from a couple of years ago. I’m thinking I’m doing the thing and knocking it out of the park but something just stayed under the surface that simply did not sit right. A feeling of doing the thing but still missing out. Not getting the full expression, the full experience. However, I simply couldn’t put my finger on what was possibly missing.
I’m reading the word, I’m making a joyful noise unto the Lord singing praise and worship music, praying for my family/friends, I go to church etc. I’m checking off the good Christian girl checklist. Well, I did the Christian checklist for many years but at this time in my life I would not have called it that because my heart is head over heels in love with Jesus.
I love my time with the Lord. I’m no longer trying to perform to earn His affection or make sure I’m maintaining His approval. He has seen me at my absolute worst. And not just once. But countless times. He has yet to turn away. As an example of my affection for the Lord, in this particular season of my life, I am very content, very happy and I have a deep rooted peace in my soul. I need nothing and I want nothing. He has my full attention and I wait on Him to direct my life.
So it was in those quiet times with the Lord, that the missing something seemed to be more prominent when I rushed the wrap up of my time with Him. I would enjoy my bible reading and prayer time but in the mornings I’d get to a certain point and then I’d be up and into something else so quickly I was left wondering if I even told the Lord, "I love you?!"
When I’d have my quiet time with the Lord in the evenings, it often ended with me going to sleep and not remembering if I even finished my prayers. I would fall asleep in the middle of praying or simply talking to God about something or reading His word. It’s not that I felt condemned because if you have children, is that not the sweetest thing you can experience; your children so content with you that they will let their guard down, and surrender to the day, falling asleep with you nearby.
However, I just couldn’t shake the feeling that I’m missing out on something. That Jesus intended more for me. But what was missing?
It’s intriguing to me that the simplicity with which we have access to the heart of God as He sits on His sovereign throne and yet in real time our actions say it’s incredibly difficult. Maybe on a subconscious level, we believe it to be a, too good to be true, scenario and so our heart discredits it so that it carries no weight in our life?
Or maybe it’s that God’s goodness and kindness are always available and so we take it for granted. It’ll always be there so it’s no rush, I’ll get to it when I can. I know I’ve treated God that way. The Creator of all things wants to know me and I have “better things” more pressing things to do. As I say that out loud it’s incredibly humbling. It’s mind boggling that I pass up these moments with such ease. Even if I experience a flash of guilt, it’s simply that, a flash.
Because the truth is, as a daughter of the One True King of kings and Lord of lords, the One who has no rival and no equal that you can picture yourself running up to the throne room doors and not only do the armed guards step aside they open the massive doors without a question. You run toward your Father. No one stops you as you climb up the steps, probably stepping all over His royal train that fills the throne room. Into His lap you sit and you begin to tell Him about your day and He is absolutely delighted that you have chosen to come and sit with Him.
If you’re a parent, you can imagine or maybe you know the feeling when your children chose to spend time with you OR when your children choose lesser things (like video games or being on their phone). We’ve all heard it said that one of our biggest mistakes is that we think we have time….but time is a resource that quickly evaporates.
Many times I have questioned, you’ve heard me ask on my podcasts, why-oh-why do we choose lesser things than the perfection that God offers us. After engaging this study I have the answer!
Many of you already have the answer but God is so kind to us in the way He brings revelation to us as the individuals He created us to be. Sometimes, things just click and you have a DUH moment. Like, I knew that part and that part but now it’s all come together for a much clearer understanding. Maybe that’s when you move from the duh moment to the ah ha moment.
Why do we choose lesser things compared to what God has for us? Because in this life we will deal with the flesh and yet our soul knows there’s something more. We are made mind, body and soul/spirit. We’re trapped in an earthly body, with a soul that longs for heaven and our mind is the battlefield. We straddle this world with our flesh and the spiritual world with our spirit.
There is an intentional action, an intentional choice, in the battleground of the mind that takes us from being controlled by the flesh to walking in the fullness of who God created us to be but let’s look at the details of what we’re working against first.
In this place between discovering what we were created for and heaven, we fight against the desires of the flesh because the flesh that we’re wrapped-in is broken and sinful; it wants what it wants using the quickest, least resistant path to immediate gratification and yet our soul intuitively knows there is something more.
In our DNA, God placed His image and therefore a natural desire for Garden of Eden moments. Our soul longs for beauty, truth, life, relationship, love, joy, etc. etc so the soul searches and its first access point is to use the flesh to find it. Our emotions, our 5 senses, the world around us…it’s natural to us, God gave us those things….but this is why the Lord says we must be born again, that we need to die to our flesh, that we need to pick up our cross and follow the Lord. As uninviting as that sounds always remember you are never alone in the process. You have the very presence of God and our biggest trials bring the most beautiful rewards.
In the midst of choosing lesser things over taking those incremental steps toward discovering and fulfilling what you were created for, which is rooted in discovering God’s heart for you, you can be encouraged that God is never offended, never mad, nor does He want to teach you a lesson. We can learn plenty of hard knock lessons from following our flesh…God doesn’t need to do anything to us, there’s plenty of teachable moments in one days time based on how we personally engage life….one micro decision at a time, throughout any given day.
In the moments when our feelings and/or our emotions are driving us, it’s time to take breath, maybe a couple of breaths, and grab a few minutes with Holy Spirit. This juncture (of environment and our emotion) is the place where we can interrupt old patterns, challenge lie based thinking and negative reactions. Because the truth is, if we do not create a space in which we give God our emotions and allow Him to filter them with His truth we will, without fail, end up creating survival skills and self-coping vices (based on our own limited understanding/experiences) that we think are helping or at the very least, protecting us.
When we don’t take responsibility by way of making time to heal from our past traumas, emotional and mental scars, all the affects of living in a broken world and with our self-imposed survival skills and self-coping vices we will stay in our own dry, dusty desert for 40+ years just like the Israelites. God is with us but our eyes are never seeing and our ears never hear.
Sadly, trauma never leaves on its own. The grip of that which seeks to steal, kill, and destroy has to be evicted. You have to break agreement with it, cast it out when necessary. You’ve heard me say this before, we’re not responsible for what has been done to us but we are responsible to find the healing we need and to not give up until we are walking in God’s peace, healing and redemption.
When you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal Savior and invited Him to live in your heart, you gained access (through Jesus) to now discover who you were created to be. Something that had been hidden from you as a prior enemy of Christ.
Now with direct access to the throne of God, you have the opportunity to discover how He knit you together in our own mother’s womb. What is it about you that is most like God? What gifts and talents mirror His creative heart? What are your core charateristics that align with Him?
As you go on this adventure with Christ and He reveals your gifts, talents, skills and He begins to open doors and create certain connections and relationships, He will reveal this things and teach you how to steward them with Heaven’s value system vs our own value system. He will reveal it little by little so that you can digest and apply what He is showing you. Hence the lifelong adventure of relationship and His revelation after revelation.
The simplicity with which we can know the depths of God’s love for us and who He created us to be, what we were created for, the different seasons He’s calling us into, what our gifts and talents are… comes down to this, time.
To make time, is the intentional action, the intentional choice in the midst of the emotional and mental battleground of the mind that takes us from being controlled by the flesh to walking in the fullness of who God created us to be.
Not time checking off the good Christian girl to do list with the just get it done heart posture. The result of that type of investment is fake at best and you can expect your return to be empty as well; ask me how I know. Take the time to be still and discover the type of Father who loves you. Intimacy grows over time and engagement.
In every circumstance of your life and in every micro moment that you have an emotion or a question about who you are, maybe you’re being challenged in an area where you’re weak, or your moments when you feel disconnected, overwhelmed and you’re loosing hope. Pause, be still, breathe, turn your heart and mind toward Jesus. Engage God/Jesus/Holy Spirit (you can start with any one of the 3), invite Him in, ask Him what is this I’m feeling. Why am I feeling this?
If He reveals it (because sometimes He simply gives you encouragement in the moment to endure and/or He offers His reassurance that He’s with you and He’ll see you through) ... so when the time comes that He reveals it, ask Him to help you. And maybe this might be the most challenging part of the process is to accept His grace as you are stepping into who He’s called you to be.
Most of the time it’s not a flawless transition. Here’s what I think is the perfect example of this journey we’re on. Adam and Eve started off living in intimacy with God. They had daily, face to face conversations with God. He was present 24/7, and they rejected Him. We’re born in the condition of having rejected Him and we’re on the journey to return to the benefits of the Garden of Eden. Daily, direct access spirit to spirit or heart to heart with God. He’s present 24/7 and He waits for our invitation for Him to join us in our darkest, most painful places of life.
Nothing about this life, our existence, our challenges, how we use our gift of choice etc. has God concerned, confused or disengaged. Nor is He overwhelmed or disgusted. No. God knows marriage is hard. God knows that the various types of handicaps or physical illness will cause us to question who He is. He knows the evil that people do to one another. Heat breaking yes, but He’s the God who walks among His people
He’s never taken off guard and you know why? Because He’s already put those things to death in the spiritual and He wants you and I to know and experience it too. He wants those Garden of Eden moments with us.
He’s saying, babe, will you bring that to me? Will you trust me with that pain, that emotion, your reaction? I’ve already healed that on the cross but I want you to allow me to walk you through your personal pain because I want you to experience, first-hand, the healing I’ve provided. I want you to see how much I love you as you let me dismantle the lie based thinking or the painful memories you have. I give double for the what the enemy has robbed you of. I take the very thing that satan wanted to destroy you with and I flip it producing good things in your life. I bring redemption, I bring restoration.
Allow me to remind your heart of Matthew 11:28-30, "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart and you will find rest for your soul. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
Making time is a challenge. Accepting God’s grace as a way of life is humbling and therefore it struggles against our pride/our flesh, but there may be an even bigger challenge for the flesh and that is to have the courage to see God for who He really is. Not who we want Him to be and not who we think He should be. It threatens our flesh because we may have to redefine some foundational things we have been building our life on. I actually think it might even be more scary to change direction when we realize that some of our foundational blocks have been lies.
All the more reason to give God space (by being still) and allow Him to reveal Himself to us in every context of life, most especially in the context of pain and suffering. If we can do that and actually embrace who He is even though it may be in direct opposition to what we thought would be, or what we want it to be … that’s the place of transformation, where we step into more and more of who we were created to be. Where we find the kind of purpose that even if it’s the hardest thing we’ve ever done, we’ve never felt more alive, fulfilled and rewarded.
(side note: God moves in unique ways with us as the individual He created us to be but what we experience or the revelations we receive with Him will never contradict God’s character and nature. If you feel that God is revealing Himself and it is in opposition to His word, question the source. If not inline with God, it is not of Him).
Do you have the courage today to give God those micro moments of engagement with the emotions or feelings that need some healing, maturing; things that need a closer inspection even though it will challenge the way you perceive yourself? I would encourage you to start today and try to catch yourself in those type moments. Interrupt where those emotions will take you. Pause, breathe and engage God with these 3 actions steps/conversation that were in the study (I’ve added some of my words for the way I shared this message but they are in the same in nature).
God, what is happening with regard to what I’m experiencing or feeling?God, help me to perceive what you reveal and give me courageous ears to hear.God, show me what your grace looks like in this moment.
And I’d even add this question for God ... Who do you want to be for me in this situation?
The more time we spend with God to process the impact or purge the residue of this life, the more peaceful, and the more beautiful life becomes. We don’t have to wait for heaven to enjoy the heart of the Father, the joy of the Son, Jesus nor the wisdom/revelations of Holy Spirit. We can know a slice of heaven, a small taste of the Garden of Eden in the here and now. All it takes are micro moments of pausing, of investing our time in the heart of God. When we do, we watch our meager offer, our 5 loaves and 2 fish if you will, multiplied beyond our imagination.
Live Loved and Thrive! @alifeofthrive.com
Resources:Breathe Deep Ministries/Amy Hellman - https://www.breathedeepministries.org/Grafted Life Ministries: Graftedlife.org
Related Podcast Episodes:In the Presence of God (w/Kevin White): https://alifeofthrive.com/2022/03/02/presence/Here’s How Psalm 23 Showed Me God’s Faithfulness (w/Sherrie Pilkington): https://alifeofthrive.com/2022/08/17/heres-how-psalm-23-showed-me-gods-faithfulness/Can I (or Anyone) Ruin God’s Plan for My Life? (W/Sherrie Pilkington): https://alifeofthrive.com/2024/04/24/can-i-or-anyone-ruin-gods-plan-for-my-life/
Related Bog Posts:Investing in Relationship: https://alifeofthrive.com/2020/11/03/investing-in-relationship/Relationship is Simple But it Takes Courage: https://alifeofthrive.com/2019/03/11/relationship-is-simple-but-it-will-take-courage/
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Breaking Cycles of Abuse and Trauma, with Lindsey Smith
31 jul· Finding God in Our Pain
Bullet Points:*Impact of Trauma: Lindsey details the profound effects of her childhood trauma on her mental health, relationships, and self-worth. She describes how these experiences led to severe anxiety, depression, and feelings of shame, impacting her ability to form healthy relationships.*Healing Process: Lindsey explains how she sought various forms of therapy and self-help without success until she found healing through a relationship with Jesus. Her faith journey involved overcoming misconceptions about God and slowly understanding His true nature.*Forgiveness and Generational Curses: Lindsey discusses the importance of forgiveness in her healing process, including forgiving her father and ex-husband. She also highlights the role of breaking generational curses and soul ties as part of her spiritual and emotional recovery.*God's Redemption: Lindsey emphasizes the transformative power of God's love and redemption, stating that God can heal any trauma and restore what has been lost. She encourages others to trust in God's plan and His ability to bring good out of even the most painful experiences.
Podcast Intro:Lindsey Smith is my guest today and I admire her courage to talk about the darkest experiences of trauma in her life; some of which include sexual abuse, marital abuse and the various ways it impacted her mental health and self-worth.
Side Note: I want to pause for just a moment before I jump back into this intro because I want to point out how important it is that once we have healed we share our story of God turning our pain into purpose….right before Lindsey and I get together for this recording for her to share her testimony of healing and restoration despite the evil of this life, she gets a call that gives her some very disturbing news. This happens …I’d say with 1 out of every 15 of my guests; something unforeseen and certainly the timing is unexpected that an obstacle to our recording or a type of derailment presents itself and we have the decision to make, do we stop, do we delay or cancel our conversation. To me, it was obvious that the enemy wanted to break Lindsey’s focus, silence her voice, cause her to cancel our conversation. But the enemy did not win. We prayed and asked Holy Spirit to intervene and bring peace to her heart and mind so that the goodness of God could be proclaimed. We went from the prayer right into the recording and maybe it was just me but I could hear it in her voice as Holy Spirit began to bring her into a place of calm.
Lindsey’s courage to share her story reveals her passion to let people know the importance of God’s role in her healing process, saying that it was through a gradual and gentle reintroduction to faith that she began to understand and accept God’s love and salvation.
Every single one of us are created in God’s image, but we’re born into a sinful world. Lindsey, born in God’s perfect image entered into a generational curse that plagued her family which included sexual abuse and a lack of respect for the women in the family. Since no one before had stood in authority to break the curse Lindsey bore the effects that resulted in a very unstable and fearful mental state of mind. Fear crippled her ability to live her life, cultivate healthy relationships and make confident decisions. The expected result of these influences resulted in an abusive marriage for 18 years.
We talk about the significance of breaking generational curses and soul ties as part of her spiritual healing and how God's guidance was crucial in orchestrating her recovery. Lindsey also discusses her journey through various forms of therapy, and her eventual realization that only through Jesus could she find true healing and freedom from shame.
Lindsey's message is clear: despite the severity of her traumas, God's grace can transform and redeem, turning even the darkest experiences into sources of strength and hope.
Listen in and be encouraged today! God’s heart for healing and restoration breaks the grip of the enemy’s plans over your life.
Lived Loved and Thrive! @alifeofthrive.com
Connect with Lindsey:IG: https://www.instagram.com/lindseymary_smith/
Bio:Lindsey Smith is Spiritual Coach for women specializing in anxiety and trauma. In her decades long pursuit of relief from the effects of childhood trauma she trained in many modalities to facilitate her own healing while also developing a deep desire to help other women. Her path ultimately brought her back to the Heavenly Father and Jesus where she experienced deep healing of long-time wounds and restoration of her wholeness as a Holy Daughter. It is her greatest desire to help free women from the bondage and suffering that results from trauma and abuse so they can reclaim their birthright of peace, love, joy and abundance. As a coach she helps women find a place of safety within themselves by building a relationship with God. Guided by God and the Holy Spirit, she assists them in finding healing and liberation from anxiety and the consequences of complex trauma such as shame, depression, hopelessness, toxic relationships and chronic pain.
Related Podcast Topics:Kimberly Bell - Taking Responsibility for Your Healing: https://alifeofthrive.com/2022/12/07/taking-responsibility-for-your-healing-with-kimberly-bell/Amy Nordhues - Sexual Abuse at the Hands of a Mental Health Professional: https://alifeofthrive.com/2022/03/16/amy-nordhues-sexual-abuse-by-a-mental-health-professional/Tina Ivey - From Survive to Thrive, Overcoming Sexual Abuse: https://alifeofthrive.com/2024/01/03/from-survive-to-thrive-overcoming-sexual-abuse-with-tina-ivey/Dr. Kelli Palfy - Healing for Male Sexual Abuse Survivors: https://alifeofthrive.com/2022/03/30/male-sexual-abuse/
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No Longer in Bondage to Sexual Addiction, with Logan Hufford
17 jul· Finding God in Our Pain
Bullet Points:*Spiritual and Psychological Struggles: Logan experienced deep shame, self-hatred, and hopelessness, feeling disconnected from God despite frequent prayers. He struggled with both sexual addiction and anger, which he describes as major hurdles in his journey.*Role of Support and Community: Key to Logan's recovery was joining a Christ-centered 12-step program called Prodigals, where he found intense accountability and support. This community played a crucial role in his healing, providing practical tools and spiritual guidance.*Importance of the Amends Process: A significant part of Logan's recovery involved making amends to those he hurt, which helped him take ownership of his actions and heal from his past.*Message of Hope and Encouragement: Logan emphasizes that no one is beyond hope or redemption. He encourages others struggling with addiction to seek help and trust in the transformative power of God and supportive communities.
PODCAST INTRO:
The topics of sexual addiction, being a sex addict and really any addiction is a prison that I know God not only desires to set people free from but absolutely can break the chains and offer people truth, freedom, and forgiveness. Which in turn allows them to live a life that many do not image is possible.
My guest, Logan Hufford has a candid conversation about his struggle with sexual addictions. While this is a man’s perspective I do believe that my primarily female audience can benefit from what Logan shares. Logan says that 60-80% of men struggle with a sexual addiction of some degree so there is the possibility that someone you love is silently struggling and I’d like to think that this conversation will give you courage to bring up this topic, or give you hope in knowing that healing and recovery is possible and may the resources Logan shares encourage your loved one to take step toward recovery.
Logan is brutally honest about the way he operated in his addiction and the dual life he was living. After bargaining with God to change him, and not receiving a response, the simple realization that there were other men who had found freedom from this dark cave of existence gave Logan a glimmer of hope that started him on the road to recovery. He also sheds some light on the fact that it’s a spiritual battle, and that Satan’s goal is to pervert anything good that God has established, with the family being the number one target.
He shares the resources that he has participated in to overcome the demonic grip of addiction and in this specific conversation, (sexual addiction as it pertains to men), he spoke about these resources:The Conquer Series - Ted Roberts (Pure Desire Ministries) Logan said this is the best resource for someone who wants to understand sexual addiction & sexual addiction recovery. It goes in to great depth about what is happening to the body and the mind (spiritually, physically, emotionally). Because it is more than making a choice. You’ll hear Logan talk about how the brain and body are changed by the very things that God created and meant for our good but as Logan shares, we can pervert the good things God has for us.
Prodigals - This is a men’s group that offers accountability - Logan himself leads a Prodigals group.The Amends Process - Elective Mentorship programHe briefly mentioned Celebrate Recovery - I know of the Celebrate Recovery programs here in my area because a previous church that I attended hosts them. It’s a 12 step, faith based program that offers hope, and help to anyone who struggles with things such as addiction, co-dependency, compulsive behaviors.
Side Note: At one point Logan uses a term FOMO and just in case you wonder what that means, it’s Fear Of Missing Out.
Let’s dive into this conversation to discover Logan’s journey through addiction and into his willingness to be proactive, engage recovery, and submit himself to God’s transforming, sustaining power and in exchange he receives freedom, wholeness and living the life he had only dreamed was possible.
Live Loved and Thrive! @alifeofthrive.com
More Episodes Similar to this Topic:Rosie MaKinney, A Porn Free Marriage is Possible: https://alifeofthrive.com/2022/05/11/porn-free/Rose Anne Forte, Consider The Possibility of a Transformed Life Without Alcohol:https://alifeofthrive.com/2024/01/17/consider-the-possibility-of-a-transformed-life-without-alcohol/
Connect with Logan:IG: @no.longer.in.bondage (direct link: https://www.instagram.com/no.longer.in.bondage?igsh=MWl6d3B0NzE0Y2ltdQ%3D%3D&utm_source=qr)Prodigals (in Alaska, where Logan lives) - Www.prodigalsofalaska.com
Resources:The Conquer Series: https://conquerseries.com/whats-the-conquer-seriesCelebrate Recovery: https://celebraterecovery.com/
BIO:Logan is a born & raised Alaskan, married to his gorgeous bride Carrie, who herself is a 4th-generation Alaskan; and together they are raising 4 amazing but crazy little monkeys.
Their life is a simple one - they love their family time, their dogs, and exploring the beautiful Alaskan wilderness.
And yet, absolutely none of this should be possible today. For years, Logan did just about everything in his power to destroy his marriage and his life. Logan was a raging sex addict. Porn, affairs, hiring prostitutes, and more had simply become a way of life for Logan. He thought he had no hope.
In 2016, God began to change all that. Through Recovery, God transformed Logan’s life and his marriage.
Logan and his wife Carrie each now lead Recovery groups, doing what they can to give back by sharing the gifts that God has given them.
Since January of 2021, Logan has been blessed to be able to use many of the tools he’s learned in Addiction Recovery, as a Dave Ramsey-endorsed personal finance coach. He’s honored to help folks find freedom & healthy living, in a different venue than just specifically recovery.
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A Deep Dive of the Soul After Child Loss, with Bridgett Dunbar
3 jul· Finding God in Our Pain
My guest Bridgett Dunbar, holds a Master’s Degree in marriage and family therapy, and is a Grief Counselor. She’s served in the pastoral ministry, healing ministry and several other positions, all with the focus on helping people find healing and wholeness in Jesus.
But when her personal life was flipped upside down by the loss of her precious son (at birth) would it be her professional training that helped her or her personal relationship with Christ? After having the chance to talk with her I see where both were very beneficial.
To me, what I came away with (and granted this is just a small portion of her story), in and around the initial impact of such devastating pain it was her faith, her intimate relationship with Christ that enabled her to struggle well with the good God she professed in the context of suffering. And now, after having walked through that very personal valley of death Bridgett uses the revelations/the healing she experienced coupled with her professional skills.
True to God’s nature He wastes nothing and you’ll hear that in this conversation and you’ll see the fruit on her website bridgettdunbar.com. She offers various resources and services that give focus in helping others find their way through confusion, uncertainty, grief and loss.
Along with those resources on her website you’ll also see that one of the ways that she extends her hand and heart to others is through the book she authored, Grief, Loss and the Goodness of God - A Path to Healing After the Death of a Child. You can learn more about this book on her website. At the time of this episode going live in July of 2024, she’s offering the download for free.
There are many layers to Bridgett’s personal story and you know me, I ask some bold questions of my guests, only because I truly desire to know how did the God of the Holy Bible meet them in their pain. I genuinely want to know, does knowing, following, and serving God make a difference?
I asked Bridgett, questions like, “What did you need to surrender to God in order to heal?” I asked, “After such a deep dive with God what is your personal discovery about the meaning of life?” And, “What did it do to you, what did it mean to come face-to-face with the fact that the good God you professed did not show up when you needed him?”
Bridgett did not shy away from these tough questions and as I listened, there was a strong theme that kept coming up. It was the way she reminded me that grief makes us very vulnerable and in that vulnerability we are at war with the enemy. She lays out clear strategies in order to overcome each wave of grief and spiritual attack. You’ll hear her say she’s not denying reality but rather she’s engaging it with truth.
She shares that when we’re pressed in on all sides, what we’ve been cultivating on the inside of us, in our heart, our mind, our emotions will come to the surface.
Pain causes us to clash with our belief system. In that clash, that struggle to make sense of what we thought life was supposed to be and where we find ourself, which is faced with uncertainty about everything we thought, then we’re challenged with what comes to the surface. Will it be fear, lack of faith, lie based thinking? It all comes to the surface.
Our emotions that were grounded in experiences rather than truth are at question. Bridgett shares that when she engaged worship she experienced one of the most effective strategies in a spiritual battle. It’s when we take the battle stance of worship that we engage the power of the Kingdom of God.
It’s such a simple engagement when you turn worship music on, begin to listen, begin to sing. No matter where we are in our grief/healing journey, it’s immediately effective. It grounds us, invites the very presence of God, the joy (that is beyond our ability to comprehend/or create on our own) shows up. It gives us hope in a better tomorrow and lifts our gaze to God’s promises for us.
Let’s listen in and hear all the beautiful ways that Bridgett points us to the heart of God and equips us to fight well in the midst of grief, pain, and suffering.
Live Loved and Thrive! @alifeofthrive.com
Connect with Bridgett:Website: BridgettDunbar.comIG: https://www.instagram.com/bridgettrdunbar/FB: https://www.facebook.com/brdunbarFree (at time of original release 07.2024) Download of her book titled, Grief, Loss and the Goodness of God - A Path to Healing after the death of a Child: https://bridgettdunbar.com/griefResources (both free and very affordable!) - https://bridgettdunbar.com/resources444
BIO:BRIDGETT DUNBAR is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, public speaker, co-host of the HE/She Podcast, and co-founder of the Outlier’s Way. She has personally experienced the loss of two children through stillbirth and miscarriage. Since then, Bridgett has dedicated herself to helping individuals dealing with grief and loss find their way back to joy and peace.
With a diverse background that includes positions as a spiritual leader, pastor, inner healing trainer, facilitator, and prophetic teacher, Bridgett is deeply passionate about guiding both men and women toward a life of freedom, wholeness, and an authentic connection with God.
More podcasts on this topic:Erin Honeycutt on Infertility and Miscarriage: https://alifeofthrive.com/2020/12/16/bonus-podcast-episode-erin-honeycutt-infertility-and-miscarriage/Alicia Hodges - Finding Peace and Comfort After the Death of Her Son: https://alifeofthrive.com/2023/08/30/finding-peace-and-comfort-after-the-death-of-her-son-alicia-hodges/Serena Dyksen - After Abortion Care and Healing: https://alifeofthrive.com/2024/06/05/after-abortion-care-and-healing-with-serena-dyksen/
Hope Reager - The Death of Her Adult Son: https://alifeofthrive.com/2021/12/22/hope/
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Spiritual Disciplines Can Heal and Transform, with Healey Ikerd
19 jun· Finding God in Our Pain
Lately I’ve taken a keen interest in finding ways, methods, tools for my listeners to not only pursue peace in their life but I also want to connect them with actual people who can make a difference in their pursuit for freedom in the mind/mental health, heart/emotional health and body/physical health. With that in mind, my guest today is Psychotherapist Healey Ikerd. As you listen in you’ll hear that she can definitely make a difference in those areas of your life.
Together she and I want you to know, to have, to experience freedom in all the ways God meant for you to be free so that you can walk in your true identity in Christ and know the fullness of His plans for your life.
God is the only deity that I’m aware of who never asks you to act like something didn’t happen or to accept what happened or to distance yourself from your traumas. The God of the Holy Bible says give me your hand, I’m going to guide you through this valley and into healing. So God boldly walks us right through the middle of our personal valley of death. He takes pain and gives it purpose, redeems what we’ve lost and replaces it with better and He restores us to our right mind where fear does not reign.
The more I talk about the transforming power of God’s word the more I realize that change starts with a simple decision that we want peace more than we want to live with what fear cultivates in our life. That decision is not enough though because we must take action with some discipline and intention. Among many things that Healey talked about she gave us a super simple way to start the process of changing the way we think and therefore changing the way we live.
Healey suggests that we take a situation or a lie based thought, such as I don’t like my smile, no one loves me, I can never do anything right,(fill in the blank with your personal fear or negative self-talk). Then find a scripture to replace the destructive nature of the words and beliefs you are currently using/thinking. Using scripture to replace destructive self-talk will begin to feed the creation of new neuropathways in the brain and starve the life based neuropathways that you previously created and used. lie. By not focusing on our lack but by speaking God’s truth into life starves the lie we believed.
Scriptures such as Psalm 139:14, I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Or if fear is overwhelming, then turn to a full scripture such as Isaiah 41:10 “So do not fear, for I am with you, do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
In short, every time your negative thought comes into your head, interrupt it with your phrase or wash your thoughts with scripture and rewrite the lies with God’s truth. I’d suggests you practice this discipline with intention for a minimum of 21 days because that’s the time it takes to rewrite a neuro pathway in your brain. Thirty days is even better!
Something else that Healey shared that was super simple and yet oh so powerful with regard to changing our language is to rephrase your I am statements and to I feel.
She made the distinction that speaking I am statements over ourselves such as I am scared, I am lonely, I am weary, are statements of identity and yet we are not our emotions or our fears. So when we’re talking about emotions use the phase I feel scared, I feel lonely, I feel weary.
I’d even suggest you include self defeating statements such as I am ugly, I am fat because there is an emotion/a fear behind these words and change them to I feel ugly, I feel fat.
When we intentionally change the wording to I feel, this gives us control over our emotions and we move from labeling ourself as less than, to healing; in other words, restored to who God says we are. We’re no longer a victim of an emotion. We have emotions but it’s not who we are.
That is just a few of the simple actions that we can take that will change the direction of our life!
Alright, let’s get into this informative and potentially life changing conversation with Healey Ikerd.
Live Loved and Thrive! @alifeofthrive.com
Connect with Healey:Website: https://writtenbyhealey.com/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/writtenbyhealey/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/WrittenbyHealeyFace your Fears Freebie - https://docs.google.com/document/d/1fu_CGjKaGWXO3QapzQtyxV62EuTwIrfe2b2Br3Ii2zk/edit?usp=sharing
Bio:Healey Ikerd is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in the State of Arkansas and a Certified Clinical Mental Health Counselor.
She has also earned a Certificate in Ministry from Austin Presbyterian Theological Seminary. She is a U.S. Army Veteran and has worked in the mental health field for over 17 years.
She owns her own private practice in Fayetteville, Arkansas called HopeLife Counseling and is the author of Changing Your Feeling – A Workbook for Anxiety and Worry From a Christian Perspective and a newly released children’s book called The Red Ball – A Story of Friendship and Forgiveness.
Her passion is to help others excel in life and relationships through biblical principles. Healey is a mom and a new “Grammie”. She and her husband live on a small farm in Northwest Arkansas.
Additional Podcasts on Various Other Healing Ministries:Theophostic Healing w/Frank Meadows: https://alifeofthrive.com/2024/04/10/theophostic-healing-prayer-with-frank-meadows/Deliverance Ministry w/Karen King: https://alifeofthrive.com/2023/09/13/finding-freedom-through-the-deliverance-ministry/Emotion Code w/Eileen Love: Part 1 - https://alifeofthrive.com/2023/06/07/emotion-code-therapy-part-1-with-eileen-love/ & Part 2 - https://alifeofthrive.com/2023/06/22/emotion-code-therapy-with-eileen-love-part-2/
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After Abortion Care and Healing, with Serena Dyksen
5 jun· Finding God in Our Pain
You will be so encouraged to hear all that my guest, Serena Dyksen has to share. Serena is an author, speaker and she and her husband Bruce are the Chief Visionary Officers for the ministry, She Found His Grace. After Serena found healing for her abortion, she accepted God’s invitation to spearhead His plan to bring healing and restoration to others just like her.
Per their website SheFoundHisGrace.org, their mission is “For men and women to find forgiveness after abortion and be set free from shame, guilt and regret. Turning our pain into purpose.”
I’ll start with this statistic that Serena shared however, this episode does not shame or guilt anyone. You’ll hear Serena share her abortion experience at the age of 13 and how it impacted her life for many years, even in ways she didn’t connect with the abortion. We are discussing truths, facts, personal stories and examples but only encouragement for those who are hurting is what you’ll hear.
Serena shared that 63 million babies have been lost to abortion so that made me think about the ripple effect. If we want to look at, say a ballpark figur with regard to the level of pain that is present in our communities, our families, our churches we can’t forget that there is a set of parents. We need to remember that the abortion has affected 2 additional people (per baby) who will potentially live with guilt and shame.
She Found His Grace Ministry has a mission to provide post abortion healing so mothers and fathers can find forgiveness, purpose and redemption. Every hurting heart that connects with She Found His Grace is pointed to the only One who can do such a transformational work of the heart. Only God is the superior opponent for satan. God is the only reason we can know anything good in the reality of a broken world and an enemy who hates us.
God has the power and the authority to use the very thing that satan meant to destroy you with and give it purpose in your life. Victory over sin and shame is God’s expertise. How can we experience a come back from one of life’s most devastating choices? Jesus’ example on the cross and his resurrection is for us today and He offers us that same ability to rise again to new life in Him. Yes, we’ll know new life in eternity with Him but the God of the Holy Bible is alive and active in our life today and he offers us new life. New life to experience and to know it in the here and now.
I stress this because I want you to know that you can never go too far and that you are not alone in your pain and confusion. Throughout this podcast episode you’ll hear reason after reason to reinforce this truth.
Serena and I talked about so many things one of which was how the abortion pill has shifted the abortion clinic from an office environment into the personal home. This move shifts the responsibility and magnifies how the mom is even more isolated in her abortion experience. Something that Serena is hearing more and more is that when the so called “clump of cells” passes from the body looks more like a baby than the women were prepared for. The level of trauma is layers deep. What are they supposed to do under those circumstances because abortion clinics do not offer any after care even though they know how traumatizing it is for their customers.
Something that I wasn’t aware of and I don’t hear it being talked about AT ALL is the abortion pill reversal option. Serena shares some helpful and encouraging information and a beautiful testimony of a woman who regretted taking the abortion pill, took action within the required timeframe, received and took the reversal antidote pill and was able to deliver a healthy baby.
Here’s a perspective I never considered, on the She Found His Grace website there are personal stories from siblings who grieve the loss of the aborted baby and Serena shares that these are some of the most passionate supporters because they see the healing transformation their family experiences and they want that for other families too.
There is a lot of heartbreaking aspects about abortion but something Serena talked about was the various types of abuse experienced in abortion clinics. This caused me to wondered out loud how much worse it could get especially if the woman shows any indication that she may not get the abortion.
Something precious we talked about was the event Serena hosts and it’s when mothers and fathers give dignity to their children and part of that experience is to name their child. Serena almost had me in tears hearing how beautiful God is to not only make it okay to acknowledge the life of the child, but to give him/her an identity with a name and to create a family bond. That’s so God’s heart; family, relationship. Yet another reason why He wants more than anything for you to bring Him your pain. You’re His son or daughter and He wants to heal you.
After this conversation and getting a glimpse into Serena’s passion to facilitate healing for the men and women who have experienced abortion I was left with the lingering impression on my heart of the powerful impact that a once broken heart made whole in Jesus can realistically have on those around them.
Every healed heart becomes a voice and gives courage for other broken hearts to find healing as well…Think about how Serena herself found healing and gave God her yes in obedience and look at what He’s done with her transformed heart. If the gospel started with 12 transformed lives and has reached around the globe, I’m in awe to think what’s possible with each ripple affect that individual people will start and the contribution they’ll make for post abortion healing throughout the continents.
All the more reason to find healing for guilt, shame, condemnation because when you do, it flips the table on satan’s plans to destroy your life. Letting God rewrite the painful places with His extravagant love, forgiveness, restoration, grace, mercy and all the beautiful ways that He cares for us and heals us, that’s true victory.
Let’s listen in to hear all that Serena has to share. Not only is it very interesting and life changing but I love to hear the joy in her voice. God has done a good work because even her laughter is a testimony that with God it’ll all work out for our good and His glory.
Lived Loved and Thrive!
Connect with Serena:serenadyksen.comSheFoundHisGrace.orgHotline: 574-400-5272abortionpillreversal.comFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/shefoundhisgraceInstagram: Instagram.com/she_found_his_gracePinterest: Pinterest.com/sdyksen
Bio:Serena Dyksen is a wife, mother, speaker, post-abortive, author and founder of the She Found His Grace Ministry. She is also a sidewalk counselor where she ministers to abortion-minded mothers and fathers. Serena shares her story to empower men and women to know their worth through the saving power of Jesus Christ. She currently serves on the board of Northern Indiana Adult and Teen Challenge along with her husband Bruce. When she’s not in the trenches of ministry, she enjoys spending time with her family, drinking coffee, traveling and enjoying the beach.
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Getting Control of Your Emotions, with Cindy LaFavre Yorks
22 maj· Finding God in Our Pain
My guest Cindy LaFavre Yorks is on a mission to help people identify their emotions and press into the heart of God for both healing whenever needed and the ability to live in peace.
Cindy will help you get to the root cause of various emotions such as anxiety, worry, fear, overwhelm right down to the root cause. Once identified, any lie based thinking will be challenged and rewritten with the truth of God’s word. Doing this will deliver you into a place of freedom as you begin to interrupt thought patterns and belief systems that we’ve built on lies. This is where freedom is introduced into your life because dismantling lie based thinking will bring results that will be seen and felt in the quality of your life and your relationships not to mention the physical peace in your mind and body.
Cindy showed me a colorful wheel that has 6 core emotions and from there the wheel fans out into other possible underlying emotions. It looked intimidating but as she talked me through it I can see where it’s an effective tool that goes right to the heart of things. This pinpoints a starting place, an emotion to work with and begin your healing journey right away.
As I talked with Cindy I realized how tangled our emotions can be and gained a better appreciation on how important it is to take the time to sort them out. Cindy’s knowledge, the ability to ask the right questions, her tools, especially the emotion wheel partnered with the word of God, will give you the ability to take ownership of your emotions. Cindy equips you to actively move toward healthy emotions and healthy mental condition for the win. And the win is using God's truth to find freedom and peace.
We talk about personalities like those who stuff feelings down, those who don’t know what they really feel and would prefer to avoid having to confront them as well as those who explode saying exactly how they feel without a filter.
In the middle of looking at these types of reactions that people have Cindy said something that stood out to me (among other things), she was talking about being embarrassed by forgetting to pay a friend for their services and how Satan can get a foothold with emotions such as embarrassment. This caused Cindy to want to avoid other friends who might know she failed to pay their mutual friend Then Cindy begin to isolate, which of course is satan’s playground of the mind. Cindy’s experience reminded her of the power of our emotions to cause chaos and anxiety until she was able to get back to her friend and make that payment.
Just another reminder of why we need to pause and evaluate our emotions when they seem out of proportion to the situation, whenever they’re over the top or even concerning when the result is unhealthy (as a pattern for responding) such as isolating or avoidance. Because ultimately satan’s strategy is to separate us from our friends and especially separate us from God because He is the Fountain Head of truth. He’s the God of relationship and therefore satan will delight and work overtime to rob us of knowing freedom and thriving at life especially in these specific areas of our life.
I like that Cindy didn’t side step the fact that the way we process our emotions is a life-long challenge but that the gift you give yourself when learning to identify them is that you do so quicker. Being more efficient at identifying unproductive thinking helps us to resolve our emotions faster which returns us to a healthy mental condition even sooner and that is a beautiful thing if you ask me.
This reminds me of being a Christian in the sense that It’s not that we’ll never sin again, it’s that we recognize our patterns faster. We begin to take immediate responsibility, we repent which keeps an ongoing, open communication relationship with God. Because satan is betting, hoping that we’ll hide ourselves form God (because of our sin). That way satan can work us over punishing us as he mentally beats us up about our sin.
Cindy shared so much more but I’ve said enough so let’s get into this most interesting topic that can pave the way for a whole new skill set by enabling you to maintain your peace and live in freedom from mental chaos and overwhelm.
Live Loved and Thrive! @alifeofthrive.com
Connect with Cindy:Website: https://cindyyorks.com/Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/your-emotional-rescue/id1527487292Instagram: @_cindy_lafavre_yorksFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/cindylafavre.yorks?mibextid=LQQJ4dYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@CindyLaFavreYorksPublished Trilogy: https://www.amazon.com/stores/Cindy-Yorks/author/B07L7GG8H3?ref=ap_rdr&isDramIntegrated=true&shoppingPortalEnabled=true
Bio:Cindy LaFavre Yorks shares her gift of encouragement and passion for authenticity and emotional healing through a variety of artistic mediums. She is an award winning journalist, a speaker and the author of a devotion door trilogy available on Amazon (The Side Door: Welcoming God's Divine Detours (Book 1 of 3, Door Devotional Trilogy). Additionally, Cindy is a podcast host and her podcast “Your Emotional Rescue” debuted this spring (2024) and can be found on YouTube and a variety of other hosting sites.
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Pet Loss and Grief, with Pet Loss Grief Companion, Rachel Shirley
19 maj· Finding God in Our Pain
My guest, Rachel Shirley is a Certified Professional Coach and Pet Loss Grief Companion and she’s here today to talk about her book, Pet Loss and Divine Healing - A compassionate Guide for navigating your Devastating Loss.
When Rachel and I were connected up I was so excited to learn that there is true support for those who are grieving the loss of a beloved pet. I love my pets but I’m also one who tries to just push through my grief possibly because I’ve bought into societies value system with regard to grading the level of importance when it comes to death. I don’t really know why I try very hard to push through the death of my pets
Every time I’ve lost a pet I am utterly heartbroken but I never take the time to grieve like I need to and with each passing pet loss my grief seems to get more difficult and more difficult. I had my 13 year old, little 5lb Yorkiepoo put down in March of 2023 and it broke. My. Heart.
So much so that I kept feeling like I wanted to cry the whole time I was talking with Rachel and even now tears are threatening to start but as usual I’m holding them back as I do this intro.
Something that is in the distance for me is that I currently have 2 senior dogs who are each 11 years old and a cat who is 7 years old. Flesh or fur we never get them as long as we want them so it is inevitable that I will have to lay them to rest some time in the near future. The thought of that causes me to struggle with whether or not I’ll get any more animals. I just don’t know if my heart can take it.So when I learned there is grief support I knew I wanted to share this with you, my listeners!
Rachel is someone who cares about your beloved fur baby and she can help you navigate this painful season. As soon as Rachel starts talking you’ll be able to tell that she’s comforting and kind, two wonderful traits that let you know you can trust her with your pain and that she’s genuinely there to help heal your broken heart. She knows your pain firsthand because she lost her beloved fur baby, Winston.
We delve into all the aspects of her book which, in my opinion cover the full scope of what someone will go through when they lose a pet. I can’t think of a topic in her book that she left out right down to the last chapter where it addressed the los of various professions that either care for dogs like veterinarians as well as dogs who serve their community both professionally and personally to include military, police, support animals. But she didn’t stop there, she brings these additional topics to the table…having to euthanize a pet due to financial or behavioral issues, a pet who died of a tragic accident.
She addresses people who do not have children and she wraps up her book by sharing first-hand stories from her clients.
Some of the topics that Rachel and I talked about were how does one process grief for a pet, the importance of a bond between human and pet, is there a right way or wrong way to grieve, honoring your precious fur baby and we didn’t side step the debate about pets going to heaven.
At one point Rachel and I talk about our pets being a gift form God and how much they embody His spirit of unconditional love, joy, and tangible affection. We refer to God reveling Himself through our pets…I even said that His spirit shows up in animals…but to be clear I’m not saying that God is a dog or is a specific animal I’m saying that God uses our pets and any animal he wants to speak to us….like the Balaam’s donkey in the book of Numbers 22:21-39 - not only did the donkey save Balaam’s life because God reveals Himself to the Donkey… but God also opens the donkeys mouth and he spoke truth, common sense to Balaam. So when/if you hear me say that God is like a dog or a cat etc. I’m not saying He is an animal but that He uses His creation to reveal His nature and give tangible ways that we can experience His character.
If you’re grieving the loss of a precious pet, I hope that what Rachel shares with you today will strengthen your heart for the grief journey because you’re not alone!
Let’s get into this most encouraging conversation and you can find all the links in the show notes.
Live Loved and Thrive! @alifeofthrive.com
Connect with Rachel:Website: https://www.rachel-shirley.com/Book: https://www.rachel-shirley.com/the-book-pet-loss-and-divine-healingPurchase Rachel’s Book via Amazon
Bio:As a mother of two incredible boxer boys, Spencer and Charley, my life is deeply enriched by their loving companionship. As a devoted wife and woman of faith, I've dedicated my life to helping those in need of comfort and care during the most painful seasons of their lives. Many people ask me how I can walk so closely with others during their time of difficulty when losing a pet. I affectionately share with them that I could not imagine doing anything besides serving my fellow man and their beautiful pets in this loving way. Life is precious. Together, let's honor what we've been graciously blessed with…our pet's lives with whom we love so dearly.
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Can I (or Anyone) Ruin God’s Plan for My Life?
24 apr· Finding God in Our Pain
The topic, or the question for today is, can God's plan for your life be ruined, specifically ruined by our own poor choices, or can it be ruined by the choices of other people by way of impacting our life? I wish that question was cut and dry, but the answer is yes and no. That's the best short answer I can provide, but we're going to use Scripture as our basis as we push out this topic.
There are tons of truth that will show you, no, God's plan for your life cannot be ruined, no matter the contributing force. However, near the end of this podcast, I talk about the one thing that can indeed block God's plan for your life, and I don't think you'll be surprised when you hear what it is. I do hope that you'll receive a fresh dose of encouragement and that you feel empowered to take the next step.
And here's how this topic came up and why I wanted to share it with you. I had the chance to speak at a Christian women's event, and Psalm 23 was the verse that their gathering was based on. I get excited about Psalm 23 (as many of you know this about me). Memorizing that particular Psalm has been such an incredible weapon for me, not only in my every day, ordinary life, but it's my lifeline when things are complicated and painful.
When I proclaim Psalm 23 over my life or the life of my loved ones, it infuses me with hope, encouragement, confidence, and it strengthens my faith muscle.
Allow me to tie this in really quick as another resource for Psalm 23. After I had a measure of grief healing, I could look back and see how God worked in my life in ways (at the time) that I did not discern, and I wanted to share how God showed up. And so, I did a stand-alone podcast episode titled Here's How Psalm 23 Showed Me God's Faithfulness. In this episode I gave tangible examples of what it meant for God to be faithful in the midst of my grief.
Currently it has over seven thousand six hundred downloads (I'll put the link in the show notes). I add that little bit of info because in this episode we're going to specifically build on Psalm 23:3 as our core scripture. With regard to the question, can God's plan for our life be ruined, the verse reads, "He restoreth my soul. He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake."
The purpose of drawing the focus in on that specific verse is that I want to look at God's heart for restoration, as well as look at other examples of how the heart of God is to restore us to his paths of righteousness, who He created us to be for His name's sake. Think about how invested God is in us. We are His name sake.
If you're one of my faithful listeners, many of you know my story of unexpectedly losing my husband in early 2018. It was six years ago as of February 21st, 2024. He left our home at 8AM. Everything seemed fine. However, by lunchtime that same day, he had a massive heart attack and passed away. Something my boys and I never saw coming. Never.
Out of that pain a portion of my redemption is to encourage believers in the dark valleys of life, so I spend a lot of my time looking at the good God I profess through the lens of pain and suffering. I have the precious privilege of my guests allowing me into some of the most vulnerable moments they've ever known. It is an intimate space to be allowed into because I get a glimpse of how God enters into our pain and how he works in the privacy of someone's personal devastation.
When life no longer resembles anything we once knew, I think it's a fair request we make of God to put things back like they used to be. I too have pleaded with God. I had been with my husband for a little over 33 years. I repeatedly asked the Lord to give me back my normal, return things to how they used to be. Give me back my old life.
Struggling under the weight of pain and an internal fight to orient myself and to gain my footing, in my mind, it actually seemed possible that if I could just go back to the way things used to be, everything would be OK. Life would be good again.
If you've got some life under your belt, life experiences with some hard things, more than likely you've asked God to put things back like they used to be. And I've shared this with you before, this type of pain, loss, suffering is not exclusive to losing a loved one.
Anytime we struggle under an immense weight of pain, (no matter what it personally means to have your world flipped upside down), our brain is grasping at anything familiar. And yet, at the same time, panic is there because we know in the back of our mind, or maybe it's in the back of our heart, knowing that this shaking and shifting is actually exploding our life into tiny little pieces.
That's why it's so important to grieve when life takes unexpected twists and turns. After a life changing event, it will not return to how things used to be. It simply can't. And we need time for our head and our heart to catch up.
When life goes missing, the good news of the gospel isn't exclusive to our salvation. It is the reason that we can know anything good on this side of heaven.
There are times when we'll find ourselves in broken, painful consequences because of our own choices. And then there are times when we'll find ourselves in broken, painful consequences because of someone else's choices or simply because life happens, like with my husband. Either way, we're left with the aftermath of what feels like a head on collision.
In any of these situations, something that had been previously tethered to our heart, our life, our identity has been disrupted. And when it's broken, it's broken. Acting like it isn't broken only delays the suffering.
Whether we find ourselves in the position of needing God to restore us because of our own choices or the choices of others, we have two perfect biblical examples that are proof that we can know and experience God's hope, healing and restoration. The biblical proof that I'm going to share is something you are more than likely very familiar with but I want to look at these historical accounts, potentially/hopefully through the lens of a fresh new reminder.
For those of us who have made poor decisions (and I count myself among these precious people), whether we're living with lifelong consequences, maybe unforgiveness is eating at us, or shame and guilt stab us like a knife. Be encouraged by this beautiful example of God's power and authority to repurpose our poor decisions.
God's standard, His rules, His precepts, are for our safety. So, when he told Eve (and he told Adam too) eat from any tree in the garden except that one, the tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, he did so as a loving father who wanted to protect his children.
And as we know, Eve decided to go outside the boundary that God had put in place because she had heard from the serpent that eating the fruit would make her like God so that couldn't be a bad thing, right? Eve loved God.
But what Eve didn't bargain for is that while she would indeed know something God knew, Eve did not have the authority and the sovereignty to handle or overcome this new knowledge. The reality of her choice came with consequences, and that's what God was trying to protect her from. He didn't want her to endure the consequences that he knew were attached to her choice. It was going to break his heart as he watched her struggle under the reality of this knowledge with no power against it.
I feel sure, because I'm a mama, that what broke his Fatherly heart the most, Eve was now separated from him. And He knew who was coming for her. The enemy and a constant battering on her mind and her heart and her body. Steal, kill, destroy, steal, kill, destroy.
Sean Covey said, “We are free to choose our paths, but we can't choose the consequences that come with them."
Eve's choice to do things on her own terms resulted in more than a lifelong consequence. We live under a generational curse because of Eve's choices.
The language of the culture today gives us so-called encouragement by telling us to handle things on our own. You see all the social media quotes and posts about being independent and strong and how you don't need to rely on anyone. You don't have to ask for help, you can do it yourself, and you're so strong but that my friend, is the world talking. Every single time without exception when I want to handle things in my own understanding and with my own discernment, I will create a coping skill or some sort of self protection method apart from God’s plan to heal and redeem.
If I don't take the thing straight to God and expose it, ask for his guidance, input and his wisdom, I end up struggling with something God never intended for me to endure. I end up in the negative, struggling with things that are detrimental to my well-being, less than God's best for me. The result of me doing things independent from God is that fear and anxiety show up. My emotions want to lean into depression. I start feeling disconnected, feeling like no one sees me or no one cares. I have a constant feeling of overwhelm. All these things have Satan's fingerprints on them. These types of steal, kill, destroy feelings.
So, Eve bites the apple, introduces sin to the world, and then God threw his hands up and proclaimed that his plan was ruined and that he didn't know what he was going to do now, right? No! Thank God, no!
Eve's choice, catastrophic as it was, did not overpower God's authority. God always has a plan of restoration. A plan that overwhelms the broken things of this life. God flips the script on the pain and suffering in this life and brings beauty from our ashes, both for our good and his glory.
For those who choose the finished work of the cross, the curse that Eve put on us is broken. Because of Christ's shed blood and resurrection, we have direct access to the heart of the Father. His heart for us that desires to save and restore.
And that, my sweet friend, is why your poor choices do not have the power to destroy the calling on your life. Can we temporarily derail the original path? Delay it? Cause added obstacles and complications where we show up with additional baggage than before we went off the rails? Yes, we can. But once we submit ourselves to God, when we repent and bring it into the light, His light, we get to watch him transform our situation and return us to His paths of righteousness.
In God's plan of redemption things like regret, shame, guilt, unforgiveness, and the like have been accounted for or planned for. God knew it was coming. He's not surprised by our humanity. He was not caught off guard and had to scramble to figure out how to manage this new revelation that we threw at him.
Sweet friend, he's made a way for you and I to lift our heads under the weight of our choices and even better, we don't have to wait for heaven. I think our biggest challenge is comprehending the truth of God's heart for restoration and stepping into it.
If we knew how true, how strong God's heart is for restoration, we would grab a hold of it in the here and now. We wouldn't delay for a single second. We don't have to pray for God to have a heart of mercy and restoration. We don't have to look for it, work for it, hope for it. That's who he is, with or without our acknowledgement. All we need to do is engage his heart. And how do we do that?
Cultivate a life of intimacy with our Father. Discovering who he really is versus who we want him to be, who we think he is or who we think he should be. Get to know his heart and who he says we are and watch your life be transformed.
For those of us who by no choice of our own, find our lives flipped upside down, that which was the atoning sacrifice to correct Eve's selfish decision is also perfect proof that despite the horrific tragedies in this life, abandonment, rejection, innocent blood, being misunderstood, lied about, betrayed, all the different ways that one human being can choose to assault another human being, the list is endless.
Nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing is impossible for God. His plans are bigger, his power is sovereign, and his authority answers to no one. He has no rival and no equal.
And allow me to add this example of God's extensive power and authority. Hell, the lake of eternal fire, is the place God has ordained where people will spend eternity if they choose not to allow Jesus to pay their sin debt.
Hell is God's real estate. That's why God's word plainly tells us in Philippians 2:10-11, "Whether in, heaven, on the earth, or under the earth, every knee will bow and every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord."
From the very pit of hell, God will be acknowledged. In either eternity, (heaven or hell), we're on God's turf and we are on His Kingdom territory. And that is why I can guarantee you that God can bring good despite the devastation of this life. Hell answers to God.
With God having no rival and no equal, and because all things are under His authority, He ordained the death of His only Son as the acceptable atoning sacrifice that would break the curse of our sin penalty.
Yes, Christ's death was planned, but Jesus would not have the luxury of avoiding the human aspect of that suffering. He would suffer in every way that we do as humans.
Jesus's life, his horrific death, the burial, the victory of his resurrection, and ascension to the right hand of the Father would not be without deep pain. A soul aching, bone saturating submission that caused him to cry out to the Father to give him relief from the torment, anguish that brought blood out of Jesus's pores while in the garden of Gethsemane. And not just the physical suffering, but the very core of who God is.
Our God, the God of the Holy Bible is the God of relationship, and Father and Son would be separated. God would turn away from his son until our sin penalty was paid in full and the curse was broken. And what result does God bring about with his son's horrific death? Colossians 2:15 tells us in the NIV, "And having disarmed the powers and authorities, he made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross."
And let's not forget Ephesians 6:12 that tells us the importance of disarming the powers and authorities, Ephesians 6:12 in the NIV tells us, "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world, and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."
Christ's death publicly put Satan to shame, both in the physical world as well as being acknowledged in the spiritual realm.
If you've had no choice about what happened to you, where does this leave you? What does Christ's death, burial, and resurrection mean regarding what you've lost? Ultimately, Jesus offers us hope, healing and restoration but it will take courage to heal. The dark valley you find yourself in…God knows the way through. He’s been there. He put to shame the evil that has been inflicted on you. You do not walk this journey alone. No valley is too dark nor is there one that is too deep for him to bring healing.
I do hope it's comforting to know that God fears nothing. Not our anger or our rage, not our ungodly questions, not the evil of this life.
There is simply nothing about our existence that God fears because he has the power and authority (the permission and ability) to take the very thing that Satan meant to destroy us with…and not necessarily destroy us, as in our physical death. Satan is content if he can destroy us with our thought life, hold us captive through our emotions, or keep trauma locked in our hearts. It's all the same to him. If it will silence us, make us bitter, isolate us, paralyze us, or separate us from God from his truth in any way, shape, or form, it's a payoff for Satan.
God isn't afraid, dismayed, overwhelmed or disconnected because no matter our situation, his solution is redemption for absolutely anything evil that this life can dish out. What we can't do in our own strength, the fact that we have no power or authority to change our circumstances, but God. God repurposes the reality of pain. Not that He immediately takes us out of it, but in His hands, we're guaranteed that our pain is never for no reason. He takes the evil pain inflicted upon you and turns it into purpose. That's a table prepared for you in the presence of your enemies.
I feel sure I've shared this with you before but allow me to share once again, something the Lord spoke into my spirit as I processed the death of my husband. I was telling God that I found no comfort in what people were saying to me, that God does not give you more than you can handle. I knew they were trying to be kind, and so I received it with grace, mainly because even I've said that before to people.
But now, standing on the receiving side, it's stung every time because I wanted to scream. Oh, yes, he does. I assure you he does. I am undone in every way. I did not choose this, and I don't want to be here.
So, I took all of that pain to the Lord. It was probably considered ungodly, and it was raw, but it was honest. And in the midst of my breakdown, the quiet, calm voice of the Holy Spirit downloaded something very precious into my heart, and it changed my perspective. It is something that I will always hold close to my heart, he said Sherrie, I don't allow anything I don't plan to redeem.
And that didn't mean that I was going to skip the grieving process or forget my husband. It simply meant that nothing touches his children that he does not have the power to use for our good in his glory. He always has a plan. God always has a plan that overwhelms our limitations, that rewrites the mental, emotional, and spiritual demise that Satan had planned for us.
So, my sweet friend, no matter the reason that you're struggling with the evil of this life, my encouragement for you today is rest. Rest your weary heart. Rest your mind and the constant running from one anxiety laden thought and memory to another.
Grab a hold of this lifeline Matthew 11:28 "And then Jesus said, come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest."
Your heart can have complete confidence that God will take care of you to the degree that you allow Him. And here's where the Yes, God's plan for your life can be blocked. Because remember, He will never force himself on us. He doesn't push us into anything. He extends His hand and invites us to allow Him into our pain. He will gently, tenderly work in the places that we expose to him. To walk in our full calling is to engage God’s heart on an intimate level. In that intimacy we find healing, meaning, clarity, and our calling.
Plenty of people leave this life, never having fulfilled the calling on their life because they did not have the courage to allow God to heal them. And I'm not saying God can't work in your life on your behalf. I'm just saying that if you don't engage him, the benefits of your healing are limited, and you won't perceive what he's doing.
In the healing process, you discover things about God that solidifies your value and your worth. If you keep God at arm's length, you'll miss out on the secrets that He has that he only reveals in the darkest, most painful places of life. He responds to our authentic, honest, and transparent pain when we trust Him with it.
Whether we're a victim of our own bullying because we won't accept God's forgiveness, nor will we forgive ourselves, or we're a victim to someone else's choices and maybe there's some unforgiveness there that holds us hostage. I want you to remember this. In the fight between good and evil. Forgive, don't forgive. Heal, don’t heal. Rest, don't rest. Trust, don't trust. The push and the pull. Do you know what the prize is? Do you know why the fight is so intense?
It's your heart. Your heart is the prize. It’s the place where the fountain of your devotion, affections, love, commitment, are sheltered in. All that God placed in you when He knit you together, creating you in His image.
You get to choose who you give your heart to. Either one. Satan or Jesus. Because both are pursuing you, both have a plan for your life.
Let this truth settle deep into your heart. Amid such a savage battle for your heart and I say savage because we know that Satan is cruel, ruthless, and full of vile hatred for the things that bear the image of God, you. But God is savage in his extravagant, pure, selfless, uncompromising, unapologetic love for us.In this every day battle for your heart, Satan sees your heart as a trophy with bragging rights. But God sees your heart as a priceless treasure that he longs to restore, right up until the moment you get to see him face to face.
Friend, let's embrace God's restoration. Let's have the courage to heal and fulfill God's plan for our lives.
Additional Resource: Another Podcast Episode You May LikeEpisode Title: Here’s How Psalm 23 Showed Me God’s Faithfulness -Website w/audio: https://alifeofthrive.com/2022/08/17/heres-how-psalm-23-showed-me-gods-faithfulness/Audio Only: https://www.podbean.com/eas/pb-mqbaw-1295c97
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Theophostic Healing Prayer, with Frank Meadows
10 apr· Finding God in Our Pain
My guest today is the former Clinical Director of Christian Psychotherapy Services where he had been in practice since 1989 but then left that practice to become the Founder of the Meadows Healing Prayer Center. He is a mental health professional and a licensed clinical social worker. My guest is Frank Meadows and he has been counseling and ministering with Theophostic Healing Prayer and seeing countless people being healed and delivered.
This episode with Frank Meadows takes a very close look at the benefits of healing and deliverance. You’ll hear me press into this healing and deliverance a few times as I try to dig down for a deeper understanding.
Frank takes us back to his roots on why he would even become interested in the healing ministry and how it impacted his life. He does an incredible job of explaining healing and deliverance as he shares his practices, methods and overall goal when he’s working with a client.
What excites me the most about the deliverance ministry is that even though we’re Christians the fact remains that we still deal with trauma and with Theophostic Healing Prayer we have the ability to be set free. Which equates to peace for our minds and our hearts.
Ever wonder why a Christian pastor can also be a slave to porn? Why would a Christian wife be unfaithful? Didn’t she make a vow to her husband in the presence of God? Wouldn’t you be shocked to find out that a highly respected Christian is prone to fits or rage and physically abuses his/her spouse and children?
There’s been more than one Christian family dealing with wayward children struggling with drugs, alcohol, identity issues, same sex attraction. Why are believers still using curse words in their every day language? Why are we lying about things, cheating people or the business we work for? Especially if we know God’s word and walk in a deep relationship with him? And yet, that is exactly what can and does happen.
Ultimately, we know that becoming a Christian does not mean that we are instantly perfect. We were born into sin and our maturing process with God is done in layers as He washes off the residue of this life, transforming us into His likeness.
Could it be that believing what we read in the Bible or hear in church is not enough or more accurately our knowledge needs experience too?
If our living God wants a living breathing relationship with us might He want to take us from believing what we read/hear to knowing by way of experiencing His benefits? I believe so because when we experience God it reinforces what we’ve read/heard/believed with our mind and now our heart has proof because of God’s peace and freedom that floods our life.
I’m not knocking traditional therapy, I’ve used it, it’s great but the difference that I have experienced between traditional therapy and Christian deliverance therapy has been hands down a level of sustained peace in my life that I have never known before. At the core of my heart, mind, body I am at peace. I’m not saying that situations/circumstances/people do not challenge that peace but I have a place of rest that I can continually return to or build on whenever I find myself using/trying to create self-protection/coping skills.
Because remember, as Christians we don’t need to go looking, begging, praying, wishing, hoping for God’s peace, healing, deliverance. It’s already there. We’re called to engage what is already available to us and live with the benefits in the here and now.
Let’s get into this episode because I want you to hear all the good stuff that my guest Frank Meadows has to share, let’s dive in and hear how our lie based thinking is how we stay trapped and how using Theophostic Healing Prayer to dismantle these barriers opens up a floodgate of freedom and peace; living water poured into our hearts, bodies, minds.
Live Loved and Thrive! @alifeofthrivie.com
Connect with Frank on his website: https://www.meadowshealingprayercenter.com/about-us/
Bio:Frank is the founder of the Meadows Healing Prayer Center in Chesapeake, Va. For years,he has counseled and ministered healing prayer to many in the Hampton Roads, VA area. He has been utilizing Theophostic Healing Prayer with great results since 1999. Since that time many have come from across the United States to receive Franks’ ministry for extended times of intensive healing prayer. Since that time he has ministered over 17,000 hours using Theophostic Healing Prayer. Frank has taught and facilitated many Theophostic Basic Training Seminars and healing prayer training locally, nationally, and internationally.
Frank is a mental health professional and a licensed clinical social worker. He is also the clinical director of Christian Psychotherapy Services in Chesapeake, Virginia. He has been in practice there since 1989 ministering to clients and families with emotional, relational, spiritual and abuse trauma recover issues.
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Soul Ties and How They Impact us, with Mary Beth Powers
27 mar· Finding God in Our Pain
My guest is Mary Beth Powers and we connected over the topic that we’re discussing today, unhealthy soul ties. Mary Beth is a long-time Bible teacher, a certified speaker, she currently serves as a connection Pastor at her church and we’ll be able to call her author as soon as her book is completed and published. Additionally, she leads a healing ministry called Freedom.
We talked about the impact that soul ties have on relationships, personal growth, and the importance of recognizing and breaking these ties through self-evaluation, Godly instruction, leaning into the heart of God and professional counseling with regard to trauma associated with some soul ties.
Mary Beth defined a soul tie and while it is not a biblical term she connected the dots for us with regard to how the Bible refers to uniting/joining/cleaving to someone as the same result of a soul tie.
I had a lot of curiosity about soul ties because it’s not something often spoken about in church and yet when they go undetected they rob us personally in countless ways, some of which are delaying our ability to fulfill the calling on our life, becoming a victim because of a lack of identity, staying stuck in trauma which cripples mentally, emotionally/physically. These are some of the possible results of staying attached to unhealthy soul ties.
I asked some very pointed questions about pornography soul ties, how soul ties created in past sexual relationships impact current ones. We talked about abusive relationship soul ties. I even asked Mary Beth about unwanted soul ties that are forced upon us such as rape and she even included incest in that portion of the discussion. In short, it was a very I interesting topic for me.
You may hear Mary Beth back on my show again because the book that she is in the process of writing is on generational curses and that is something else that I’m very interested in!
Let’s jump in and educate ourselves on soul ties, see if they apply to our life and if so, let’s break them off and walk in countless new levels of freedom!
Live Loved and Thrive! @alifeofthrive.com
Connect with Mary Beth:Website marybethpowers.comFB: https://www.facebook.com/mary.b.powersIG: girl.be.still
Bio:Mary Beth is passionate about seeing women experience Jesus in a life-changing way.
She speaks authentically as a safe place for women to share their struggles. Whether one-on-one or from a podium in a room full of women, she loves to see women thriving in the fullness of Jesus!
Mary Beth is a certified speaker and long-time Bible teacher. She currently serves as a connection Pastor at her church. She is known for her infectious personality and caring for others. She has a deep devotion to her family. She is married to her forever crush, Mike, and they parent three children together. They live in North Alabama in a small but growing town called Hazel Green. They enjoy the empty-nest season, and together, they love to travel and try out new restaurants.
She loves exploring new coffee shops, but most days, you will find her curled up next to her Aussie, Hartlee, coffee in one hand and her journal in the other, finishing a book about God’s unfailing love.
But she has a new role that she finds her favorite: being a Nana to her 3 new grandsons!
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Turning Chaos into Purpose, with Noah Asher
13 mar· Finding God in Our Pain
My guest, author Noah Asher has written a book titled Chaos, Overcoming the Overwhelming. Noah uses his personal experience with chaos and leads us through what I believe (after talking to Noah and hearing this examples) is our own journey into, through and out of what Jesus modeled on the cross.
Don’t get me wrong our pain and suffering do not fulfill the same purpose and plan as the crucifixion. It will never equate to the work He accomplished. My point in making the connection of the Easter weekend from Friday to Sunday is that Jesus took all of our suffering, anguish, shame, guilt, regret, trauma and nailed it to the cross. This is proof that He has the power to turn our chaos into purpose too!
Through the model that Jesus gave us on the cross of overcoming the evil of this life, when we experience heartbreaking seasons we have an example of what processing the pain of this life looks like: Friday can be the pain of the impact, the moment our life changed forever. Saturday is the waiting season in-between Friday and Sunday. And then Sunday is the season of healing and restoration.
Noah breaks down a season of chaos into 3 phases:
*The Prepare Season - I really liked that Noah equips us to prepare for our own Friday moment. I was really curious to know, how can someone actually prepare for their life to be interrupted with chaos because we all know it’s not an “if it happens” scenario it’s a “when it happens” reality and yet I don’t consciously prepare for bad things to happen. So his insight is very helpful to first recognize that you probably are preparing yourself you just didn’t recognize it and then to see other ways you can equip yourself.
*The second season is In The Midst - Noah terms it as your Saturday season. You’re between the life changing event and the healing, restoration, redemption phase. Noah talked about how we can make this time as beneficial as possible, what value does this phase even have? What can you learn about God in (what I call the) the struggle season because it can be full of questions as we struggle to understand all that has been impacted. Questions like, "Why did you let this happen God?” "Why did this happen to me?” "What am I supposed to do with my life now?” "Who am I now?"
*And the final season, the Aftermath which I now term as Sunday. This is a time of healing, restoration and redemption - but what does that even mean in an individual life? It means a lot of beautiful things. Discovering your purpose, receiving revelation of God’s heart for you as his son or daughter and Noah talks about several more.
Noah did a fantastic job of making this topic of chaos very relatable and as you’ll hear he adds humor to what can be a very weighty topic. Not only does he back up his revelation and the real examples with Biblical truth, he also adds a little wit with references to characters such as The Lion Kin and Eeyore.
I asked Noah if there was a difference between chaos and trauma, and we talked about grief and grace, perseverance on the journey and we used Joseph’s story (among other biblical examples) to look at how God repurposed everything that was done to Joseph to bring good out of despair, and not just good for Joseph but for many and of course that echos the work of the cross as well. When you think about the good that the cross produced for as many who will accept Jesus’ payment for our sin debt.
Let’s listen in to find out how to navigate the 3 phases of chaos so that we might be prepared when our Friday arrives. If we’re prepared we know Who to turn to so that we can go from pain to purpose! We can have hope in a better tomorrow because we have the promise and the proof that Sunday is coming.
Live Loved and Thrive! @alifeofthrive.com
Connect with Noah:Website: www.thenoahasher.comIG: @TheNoahAsher on Instagram Email: [email protected]
Bio:Noah Asher is an author, Chaos-survivor, business owner, and communicator. Noah helps people find purpose within their pain and their past. His new book, CHAOS: Overcoming the Overwhelming, is a guide on how to navigate through difficult times and come out stronger on the other side. Noah believes that everyone has a purpose, and he is dedicated to helping people find it.
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Living in Uncertainty, with Angie Baughman
28 feb· Finding God in Our Pain
This conversation is deeply layered and beautifully delivered by my guest Angie Baughman who intimately knows loss and what it means to live with complete uncertainty.
A simple car ride with her family turns their world upside down. She’s in the car with her husband and 2 young sons, a vehicle crosses the line and hits them head on. The crash affects her entire family; immediate, extended, church as well as their friends. Everyone who was courageous enough to step into roles and take on responsibilities of what it entails to support a family.
The tragic results of the accident put Angie and her oldest son who was 7 years old at the time, in the hospital. Between the two of them they had 8 surgeries. In the blink of an eye she began a journey of loss and total uncertainty at no fault of her own.
And then at a point where she’s gaining some independence, she’s working hard to hit the physical therapy goals with a strong desire to do away with the level of need and personal care she receives, including the desire to be the one making all of the decision for her and her family, but then she’s blind signed by a brain bleed. It was a result of the car crash but yet it doesn’t present itself until 18 months later. She’s in a great place of improvement, moving forward and now she’s starting all over again.
Because of her extended recovery Angie’s belief system, and not exclusive to her faith, is more than simply challenged or shaken, it’s shattered. Since satan is famous for attaching himself to our traumas, in the midst of Angie questioning everything about her life, satan brings a past trauma to the forefront of her mind/heart.
Satan’s intention, of course, is to destroy Angie with this compounding trauma but she decides to accept God’s invitation and allow Him to heal her. In the intimacy of His invitation, He lets her know, He’s not giving her back the life she had, He’s taking her back to move her forward. Satan may have brought back past trauma but God was going to reveal His heart to healing. He was preparing a table for her in the presence of her enemy.
At one point in our conversation I asked her how do we take negative/traumatic/lies/thoughts captive to Christ and she lays out several things we can do to interrupt satan’s intentions and rewrite them with God’s promises.
If you’re living with uncertainty or it’s one of your biggest fears, then you’ll find quotable wisdom that you can hang on to, right down to her parting words as we closed our time together. Listen in to discover what those lifelines are that Angie has to share. Let’s dive in to find God in the painful places of life.
Live Loved and Thrive! @ alifeofthrive.com
Connect with Angie:Website: https://livesteadyon.com/IG: https://www.instagram.com/angiebaughman421/FB: https://www.facebook.com/livesteadyonYT: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwl0_Edd8fNHz7y1jLOqj4g
Bio:Angie Baughman is a pastor, Bible teacher, author, podcaster, founder of Steady On ministries, and creator of the Step By Step Bible study method.
At sixteen, she was groomed into a romantic relationship with a high school teacher and faced community rejection when she went public with her story. Knowing and living by the promises of God helped free her from layers of shame, and she now creates resources that help people cultivate consistent Bible study habits.
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Widows, Grief and Finding Hope, with Anne-Marie Lockmyer
14 feb· Finding God in Our Pain
My guest today is a grief specialist, she is certified in critical incident stress debriefing, a certified trauma-integrative practitioner, an 8-time award-winning author on grief, and the founder of The Grief & Trauma Healing Network. Anne-Marie Lockmyer has quite a well-rounded education on grief but her passion is to help grieving widows.
She’s a widow herself, so my conversation with Anne-Marie is both from her personal experience as well as her professional ability to help widows process and heal. We had a great conversation that I’m excited to share with you!
Some of the things we talked about were: what does it mean to be blessed in a Christian context when in fact we’re not exempt from pain and suffering; the complexity of grief (that it does affect the brain and the body); giving yourself permission to grieve, to be angry, to laugh, to have joy. Grief is a roller coaster at best so the focus is to care for yourself as you journey through.
We talked about healing and that it is possible. Doesn’t mean you forget about your loved one or that you’re not honoring them anymore if you’re not sad. It doesn’t mean that your life will magically return to what it used to be. Sadly, it will never be the same. It will be different, but it can still be beautiful.
As Anne-Marie shares her experience of unexpectedly losing her husband Mark and it happens while she’s out of the country. I add that because I personally think that not being able to get to your loved one at such a critical time adds yet another layer of trauma to the trauma. Her husband passed from a brain aneurysm, this not only leaves her blindsided and numb but they have a special needs son who responded to his father like no one else.
When Anne-Marie received word over the phone, in a foreign country that her world had been ripped apart and would never be the same, she asked one thing of God. "God, if I have to go through this, may I glorify you, honor Mark and impact lives?"
As you listen to the message on her heart, or visit her website, check out her widows retreat and engage her extensive resources, I think you’ll see that God has honored her request. God has taken the very same thing that evil intended to destroy Anne-Marie with and did something really beautiful.
Let’s listen in so that we might find God in the midst of pain and suffering.
Live Loved and Thrive! @alifeofthrive.com
Connect with Anne-Marie:Email: [email protected]: Grief & Trauma Healing Network https://griefandtraumahealing.comFree online grief support site: MyGriefCare.com https://www.mygriefcare.comYour Grief Guides YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxXrACWW7qjFlQ1A26onCMQAnne-Marie’s 8-time award-winning book “When Their World Stops - The Essential Guide to Truly Helping Anyone in Grief” https://amzn.to/3Sb2T2f
Bio:Anne-Marie Lockmyer is a grief specialist, certified in critical incident stress debriefing, a certified trauma-integrative practitioner, 8-time award-winning author on grief, and founder of The Grief & Trauma Healing Network. As a widow herself, Anne-Marie knows the pain and devastation that grief and loss cause and is living proof that you can go from surviving to thriving. Anne-Marie works with people worldwide, and is passionate about advocating for and loving grievers and being an educational catalyst to society on grief and loss.
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How God’s Creative Nature Builds Faith, with Morgan McCarver
31 jan· Finding God in Our Pain
What do we do when God interrupts our life and turns it in a completely different direction? My guest, Morgan McCarver has an answer to that question. Just when all of her disciplined years of dance training and mastering control of her body was about to pay off in the world of competitive dance, she was forced to submit to a surgery that would avoid severe health complications in the future.
Morgan would endure a spinal fusion surgery that would alter her body’s ability to comply with the demands of dance. With a year long recovery ahead, and without dance, Morgan felt the need to create so she and her mom began to look for various outlets.
What could possibly be out of convenience for her mother’s schedule, she enrolls Morgan in a summer camp and her class is a pottery workshop. You’ll hear how God uses this seemingly insignificant enrollment to then open a whole new world for Morgan.
Morgan makes mention of the book of Genesis (in the Bible) reminding us that humanity is first introduced to God through the creation process and it’s that side of His nature that He shares with Morgan as a way of revealing His heart to her. The beauty He brings forth through this form of expression in Morgan can be found in numerous art galleries, her Etsy account and in the pages of the book she’s written, titled, “God the Artist: Revealing God’s Creative Side Through Pottery.”
As Morgan creates with her hands, God is creating in her and through her as well and it’s the same for each of us.
Listen in to discover the beauty God has for us in the creative process and how it can be overlayed onto what He’s doing in our lives as the individuals He created us to be.
Live Loved and Thrive! @alifeofthrive.com
Connect with Morgan:www.morganmccarver.com (find the link to her book, Etsy shop & if you buy wholesale, her link to Faire.com)Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/morgan_mccarver_porcelain/?hl=enFacebook: https://m.facebook.com/morgan.mccarver.7/LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/morgan-mccarverX (formerly Twitter): https://www.sotwe.com/GodTheArtistBk
Bio: Morgan McCarver was born and raised in Spartanburg, South Carolina. Her work is inspired by her female mentors of past and present, as well as her connection to Victorian corsetry through her scoliosis journey. She received an art degree with a ceramics concentration and a double minor in art history and business in 2019 from Anderson University in Anderson, SC. McCarver had the honor of receiving the 2019 Outstanding Art Major Ceramics Award her senior year. As a 2020 701 Center for Contemporary Art prize finalist, she had the honor of being the youngest artist to ever make it that far. She is a multi-award winning artist who recently received an Artist Support Grant to attend a national ceramics conference. She has had the honor of displaying her work in 3 solo exhibitions, “FemininiTEA” 2020, “The Strength of a Wildflower” 2022 and “Postures in Porcelain” 2023. She recently completed a residency at Edgewood Cottage in Blowing Rock Summer 2023 and participated 2022 as well. McCarver has studios in Asheville, NC and Spartanburg, SC. Her art can be found in various galleries around the Carolinas and Tennessee. Her first book, “God the Artist: Revealing God’s Creative Side Through Pottery,” will be released with Morgan James Publishing January 9, 2024.
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Consider the Possibility of a Transformed Life Without Alcohol
17 jan· Finding God in Our Pain
My guest today is Rose Anne Forte (For-Tay). She is an Alcohol-Free coach, a Positive Intelligence Coach and an International Best-Selling author of the award winning daily devotional titled, “The Plans He Has for Me.” Today’s episode is discovering more about her 12 week devotional and the challenge to purposefully consider the possibility of a transformed life.
Rose Ann was a successful executive, ministry leader in the church, bible teacher, mom, wife and more but when her marriage fell apart she found herself in a place of desiring to be free from the psychological slavery of her alcohol habit.
One of the great things I feel that Rose Ann is doing in the program that she’s created (by marrying the secular addiction program she used with the true, lasting hope and change that the God of the Holy Bible offers), is to shift our mindset about labels such as alcoholic, recovery and sober.
In my personal opinion, she’s taken a very practical approach about these 3 words moving them from a secular viewpoint to the transformed reality that God provides.
That made sense to me because of the complete work of Christ on the cross and the fact that by His stripes we are healed. Not partially healed. Not kinda healed. But healed. And I agree that healing takes place in layers but that does not negate the full redemptive restoration accomplished on the cross that is available to us today and every day.
Don’t get me wrong, I think labels are important when it comes to identifying a problem. Labels help to establish a starting point to work from. Once a problem is identified it helps with taking responsibility for the changes you need to initiate. What does taking responsibility do? It moves you from the victim mentality (another label) to victor, a much better adjective.
Do relapses happen? Sure. Rose Ann and I talk about that aspect of breaking any type of addiction. Relapse is part of being healed in layers.
If you struggle with or have struggled with addiction, it will always be a part of your testimony with regard to the journey you went through. However, that doesn’t mean that you’re tied to that label or this world’s value system. If there’s one thing (among many) that a personal relationship with Christ gives you it’s living above the chaos and limited understanding of this world.
What I’m getting at is, at some point there comes a time when you leave behind the words alcoholic, recovery and sober. Rose Ann talks about this in more detail. You reach a point where you’re reigning in life, free of addiction and in this case alcohol. The recovery process is complete, you're living a life that no longer resembles addiction.
With every layer of healing we step into the progressive story of renewal and redemption that Christ is writing over our life. He’s writing a much bigger love story with us as the unique person He created us to be. His heart is to help you break free from the grip of this life and step into who He created you to be when He knit you together with His own hands.
If you feel like something in your life is out of sync, maybe something has a bigger hold on you than you feel comfortable with/it’s nagging you or if you’re clear that you struggle with any type of addiction, Rose Ann’s personal transformation will give your heart encouragement to know that freedom is possible.
If you’d like to consider the possibility of a transformed life, check out Rose Ann’s 12 week program, “The Plans He has for Me.” The link is in the show notes. Also included in the show notes are links to Rose Ann’s free resources which I think they are also on her website. ThePlansHeHasForMe.com
Listen in for a dose of encouragement from Rose Ann Forte!
Live Loved and Thrive! @alifeofthrive.com
Connect with Rose Ann:Articles and free resources: WebsitePodcast: Say Goodbye and Imagine! PodcastInstagram: @roseannforteplans
Bio:Rose Ann is an Alcohol-Free Coach, a Positive Intelligence Coach and International Best-Selling author of an award winning daily devotional called “The Plans He Has For Me”. She helps people put alcohol to the side for 12 consecutive weeks by educating them with the scientific principles behind alcohol abuse using God’s foundational principles to renewing your mind. The Plans He Has For Me is a 12 week focused devotional for those who want to rid themselves of the psychological slavery of their alcohol habit.
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From Survive to Thrive, Overcoming Sexual Abuse, with Tina Ivey
3 jan· Finding God in Our Pain
My guest and friend, Tina Ivey allowed me to ask questions about her personal trauma of domestic and sexual abuse. Tina has not only survived sexual abuse by her father but she’s excelled beyond merely surviving. She is living a life that is full, busy and rewarding. I personally feel that one of the strongest markers for a life of thrive/thriving is to live in peace, contentment and forgiveness. Those qualities describe Tina.
In this episode we talk about many aspect of abuse such as what keeps victims from speaking up? What is something that the average person can look for in order to help someone who is experiencing sexual abuse? Additionally, Tina shares her foster care experience that included a neighbor girl who was a bully. Tina also shares how she and that girl (after they had become adults) cross paths and how God challenged Tina’s ability to forgive.
I asked Tina about forgiveness in 3 areas: her father, God and herself. Like so many abuse victims, she withheld forgiveness from herself the longest. She shared about her regrets and the healing process that took place as she wrote her book titled, Better Than I Should be: Overcoming Sexual and Domestic Abuse through Forgiveness and Personal Healing. The book became available for purchase on December 20, 2023, so it’s available now.
We didn’t get to discuss all that Tina’s book reveals so the purchase link will be in the show notes if you’d like to read more about her journey. She had the proverbial cards of life stacked against her since she was a tiny girl but God does amazing things with simple childlike faith.
Real quick before we get started, when I was looking at the transcript there is a part of our conversation where Tina refers to Jaci. I noticed we did not share who that is. Jaci is Tina’s daughter.
Let’s get to it. Listen in for a small glimpse into Tina’s journey through sexual abuse and her steadfast faith in believing that God is who He says He is and that He will do what He says He’ll do.
Lived Loved and Thrive!
Connect with Tina:IG - christina.w.iveyFB - https://www.facebook.com/christina.w.ivey
Resources:Tina’s book: Better Than I Should Be: https://www.amazon.com/Better-Than-Should-Overcoming-Forgiveness/dp/B0CLMVMWBC/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2YZSKAX6THOO&keywords=better+than+i+should+be%2C+tina+ivy&qid=1703796036&sprefix=%2Caps%2C112&sr=8-1Safe House Project: safehouseproject.orgAmy Watson - Wednesday’s with Watson. Amy has a powerful story of her own and is a strong advocate for hope, healing and restoration. Connect with Amy: WednesdaysWithWatson.comLiving Waters - Help for those who are dealing with sexual and relational brokenness- https://www.desertstream.org/who-we-are & https://www.desertstream.org/find-a-group
Bio:Christina Warren Ivey Grew up in a small rural town in Martin County, NC. As a young girl, her childlike faith led her to invite Jesus to be her Lord and Savior and she has pursued Him ever since. Growing in her personal and intimate relationship with Christ has given her the keys to find healing and forgiveness after years of abuse. Better Than I Should Be is her first book and will walk you through her journey to emotional wellness.
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Living with Unrelenting Pain, CRPS with Darci Steiner
20 dec 2023· Finding God in Our Pain
If you’re dealing with overwhelming pain my guest Darci Steiner has a testimony of amazing resilience as she lives out the debilitating affects of Complex Regional Pain Syndrome or CRPS. In her book, Beauty Beyond the Thorns, Darci reveals how God cares for us in the darkest valleys in life. What she shares can benefit anyone who is dealing with pain that makes it seem like there's no way out.
While we didn’t discuss in detail the medical side of self-care I wanted to mention it now. If you’re experiencing a crisis of mental health, emotional health of physical health, consider medical professionals and/or medication (per your doctor) in addition to your faith journey. Unrelenting pain can be a very lonely journey so Darci points us to the One who will never leave nor forsake us. God is always present, always listening and ready to tend to you.
CRPS is called the suicide disease because when ranked on a pain scale, CRPS is found to be the highest pain one can feel hence the suicide disease label. People who know this level of unrelenting pain want to escape, permanently. Especially because they’re told there is no cure. But God, right?
Twenty years ago a fall down the steps ignited Darci’s first experience with CRPS. The pain was so great that she did not have an appetite and became malnourished and was dying. Darci shares a little bit about her story of being bedridden for 2 years and the healing journey she experienced.
What gripped my heart is that 5 years ago on a very special day for her family, the simple need of having to go back into the venue to grab something that she forgot and a chair topples from a stack and strikes her in the ankle. Immediately the pain seared from the injury and Darci knew she was headed back into CRPS.
So at the time of this recording she is living with CRPS once again. She talked about the difference in how she engages God’s heart this time. Because of her vulnerability, we get a glimpse of a maturing faith forged in deep pain that produces an intimacy with God that cannot be developed in any other context.
One of the ways that Darci’s faith matured is that while in God’s word she received revelation on the distinction between being and doing. Darci’s pain severely limited her ability to engage in some of the most simple things in life…at one point of being bedridden for 2 years, as Darci lay in bed she asked her husband to create a tent over her with the bed sheet because when it touched her skin it caused excruciating pain.
As she lay in bed day in and day out she began to question the purpose of living. She couldn’t do anything, she wasn’t of any help, she couldn’t enjoy her young daughters. Life was happening around her but without her. Even today she can only watch her grandchildren with assistance and short intervals.
It’s in this quiet place of simply being with God that she discovers a whole new level of intimacy with Him. The revelation that His only request for her, for any of us is to be with Him. A weight was lifted and she began to see the beauty of Christ’s extravagant love for her in the humble posture of being.
One last thing and we’ll jump into the conversation with Darci. I especially loved how Darci shares that in the dark valleys of life God is there. I know we’ve heard that a thousand times but it’s a great reminder that we don’t have to go looking for Him. We don’t have to pray for Him to find us. We don’t have to check off the good Christian checklist for Him to show Himself. He’s already there. We simply need to engage Him in the being.
If you’ve been struggling with the thought that a good God would not have you suffer like this I challenge you to reframe that. God is good because despite the reality of the pain in this life, He doesn’t abandon or reject us nor does He leave us to figure it out on our own. He enters into our pain with us, comforts us, leads us into healing, and untangles our fears. In short, He gives us His very presence.
Darci was the absolute sweetest because despite her pain and my probing questions she has such a deep desire in her heart to share an encouraging message with others who are experiencing unrelenting pain whether it’s in their mind/mental health, body/physical health, heart/emotional health. Listen in because Darci does a beautiful job of revealing the heart of God in the context of pain and suffering.
Lived Loved and Thrive! @alifeofthrive.com
Connect with Darci:Website: https://www.darcijsteiner.com Facebook Author: https://www.facebook.com/darcijsteinerFacebook Personal: https://www.facebook.com/darci.andersonsteinerInstagram: https://instagram.com/darcijsteiner.writer/LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/darcijsteiner/ X (Formerly Twitter): https://twitter.com/DarciJSteiner Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/darcijsteinerPinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/darcijsteiner/Amazon Author Page: https://www.amazon.com/author/darcijsteiner.comYouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC8I8Pweui5tUt1DVvpeqEIAWomenSpeakers.comAudible
Bio:Darci J. Steiner is the author of the award-winning biblically based book Beauty Beyond the Thorns: Discovering Gifts in Suffering. She is an inspirational speaker, author, writing coach, and nutritionist. Darci began writing to process her pain after a foot injury disabled her due to the nerve-pain disorder Complex Regional Pain Syndrome (CRPS). Darci writes and speaks messages that uplift and inspire audiences to always hold on to hope. She loves spending time with her husband, two adult daughters, and two grandchildren. Please visit www.darcijsteiner.com to subscribe to The Upside of Suffering Newsletter.
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How to Genuinely Help the Brokenhearted, with Sherrie Dunlevy
6 dec 2023· Finding God in Our Pain
Have you ever felt inadequate when trying to express your care and concern to someone who is grieving? If so, my guest Sherrie Dunlevy is going to help us understand how we can genuinely help the brokenhearted. She’ll shed some light on what to say and what not to say as well as what to do and what not to do. Plus along the way, Sherrie gives us additional insight that is going to help if you’re facing a season of loss and uncertainty yourself.
Something I always like to point out is that grief is not limited to loosing a loved one. Anything that leaves us brokenhearted which equates to anytime we’re separated from that which we hold near and dear to our hearts. It’s times like that when everything familiar shifts and the pain demands a grieving process. When part of our life is torn away, we’re in need of an honest evaluation of how this tragedy impacts our life and what resources do we need to engage, in order to move toward full healing.
Sherrie has a background in television as a news anchor, a radio talk show host, and she is currently a podcast host as well as a grief coach. And we can add author to her list of accomplishments because she’s published a book titled, Can I Help?
Sherrie wrote this book because she has a deep compassion for those who are in a season of grief. As a grief coach her focus is to help the grieving process their pain. Based on the knowledge and insight that Sherrie has gained as a grief coach we push out the topic of grief to talk about how we can avoid adding extra stress and demands on our loved ones who are struggling with deep pain and even deeper questions.
When someone is faced with the uncertainty of life, the struggle to understand their circumstance is fertile ground for isolation, confusion and to be honest, awkwardness. It’s the awkwardness that causes us to distance ourself from our loved one or to say things that are blanket statements. Blanket statements are the type of cliche comments that when said everyone knows it’s just a substitute for, I don’t know what to say.
Sherrie’s book, Can I Help?, will give you the confidence to feel more at ease with the topic of grief and as you implement and practice Sherrie’s advice you become more comfortable to share space someone who is grappling with the reality of their old life vs the life they are now forced to know.
There’s power in having confidence for this topic because it removes barriers and lets an aching heart know that they are seen, heard and cared about. When you’re in pain, knowing that you’re not alone is powerful enough to give people hope for a better tomorrow.
The bottom line is, neither the brokenhearted nor the people who desperately want to help will have all the answers. Every situation is unique to the person who has experienced a tragedy/trauma. And the truth is, the brokenhearted can’t articulate what they need in the moment. In addition, the one who desires to be there for their loved one, feels helpless. If they both know anything, it’s that neither one can reach the pain because neither one can change the devastating reality of loss.
Sherrie makes a clear distinction, which I felt was truly foundational to having the courage to reach out to someone who needs a kind word and that is, to remember it’s not about you. Sherrie and I partnered that portion of the conversation with another key truth that she pointed out: The person who wants to help can’t fix it and it’s not their job to fix it. To me, that takes a huge weight off and it allows the caregiver (not in a medical sense but rather in the context of relationship) to simply show up, sit quietly if necessary and allow their loved one to find their way through the grief.
If you’ve ever felt helpless, confused, or awkward when it comes to navigating grief then listen in to see how you can remove typical barriers and create a connection of support that brings peace and invites healing.
Live Loved and Thrive!
Connect with Sherrie:WebsiteGrief Coaching ServicesBook and ResourcesFacebook
Bio:Former NBC News Anchor Sherrie Dunlevy served the Wheeling, WV area for nearly 30 years both on television and radio. Today she is a best selling author, Inspirational speaker and the Founder of the Graduating Grief Academy and host of the Graduating Grief podcast. Her Number one best selling book “How Can I Help?” was written to help people know exactly what to say and do when the people they love and care about are hurting. Sherrie helps people step out of the pain of their grief, so they can step into living with purpose, passion and JOY.
Transcript
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Goodbye Anxiety, Hello Peace, with Jodi Howe
22 nov 2023· Finding God in Our Pain
Author Jodi Howe is here to talk about anxiety. More specifically, she’s here to tell us how to do more than simply manage it. She gives us various examples of how we set ourself up for patterns of anxiety. She shares practical steps for not only catching these patterns but she also offers suggestions on evaluating our schedules and practices that we can unknowingly add overwhelm to our typical day.
Jodi’s book, The Air That I Breathe is a resource that she couldn’t find when she so desperately wanted relief from the panic attacks that threatened to overtake her life. She shares the various lessons she’s learned along the way so that you can gain immediate insight vs struggling to figure out the best ways to find freedom. She also shares the countless ways that God steadied her, led her and healed her through this journey.
The current (IYKYK) publishing date for Jodi’s book is November 27, 2023. You will be able to find it on Amazon as well as Jodi’s website (jodihowe.com). Christmas is just around the corner so maybe you want to drop a hint or two to let your peeps know that you’d like a copy for Christmas. Also, if there’s someone in your life who could really use help to get their anxiety under control, consider Jodi’s resource (aka her book, The Air That I Breathe) an excellent tool in seeing that come to fruition.
If you’re like me you’re gonna immediately love Jodi because she’s full of life. While her wit will have you laughing I’m most impressed with her courage to be transparent about real life challenges.
Even when life doesn’t look neat, predictable and pretty she doesn’t side step the hard parts but takes them on knowing that God will see her through. This book is such an incredible tool because Jodi’s personal experience has been so beautifully blended with practical steps of application and the wisdom of God’s word and the fact that He’s already laid out how we can live without anxiety, worry, fear and overwhelm.
Let’s listen in to discover how we can find God in the midst of the struggle to quiet our mind and find peace in a world that is anything but peaceful.
Live Loved and Thrive! @Alifeofthrive.com
Connect with Jodi:WebsiteFacebookInstagramX (Formerly Twitter)
Jodi’s Bio as seen on her website:I grew up in Upstate New York. Raised in Syracuse and even attended Syracuse University. I am still a die-hard fan of everything Orangemen Football and Basketball. I also enjoy the NFL. Go Giants. Oh, and the Bills, too. After all, I am from NY! I now live in North Carolina. In between life, I have lived in New York City, San Francisco, and Albany, New York. Still, I love the South. Not the heat, but the south. The mountains are 3 hours away—the ocean, 2. It's the best of both worlds and I get all of my beloved seasons. At home, I can be found in my comfy chair with my smartphone, writing content and studying through devotionals and the Bible. And sometimes I watch a show or two. I love to be with people and am highly extroverted. I am in my "happy place" when behind a microphone. This may come as a surprise to some, but I also love to retreat on my own. I am fueled by quiet time with the Lord and peaceful surroundings. Reflecting. Praying. Dreaming. Learning and then Praying some more. Focusing on The Air that I Breathe. Which is Jesus! I have lived, grieved, and learned hard lessons through a marital break-up and family struggles (2 Corinthians 4:8-9). I also know anxiety very well, and it is my first actual testimony to God, his love, and experiencing the peace that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:6-7). Apostle Paul tells us we will have thorns in our flesh (2 Corinthians 12:7), but God's grace is sufficient for each day. I am a testimony to that.
I am a mother of 2 girls. I adore them with all of my heart. They are beautifully unique in their ways, and I am genuinely proud of them.
Will you join me in my life-long journey of knowing and loving Jesus? Living in him is the abundant life promised, and yes, it's all good when we shift our perspective toward God's plan for our lives. And wholeheartedly, I believe we can also have some fun along the way.
You are Loved,Jodi
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