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Anyway, here's Wonderwall. On this episode we talk about a recent trip we took to the Great Salt Lake and what was good about it, and what went wrong and how that could have lead to hard feelings between us due to frustrations. We also laugh for several minutes straight over an unintended sexual innuendo, which I am still laughing about as I write this synopsis.
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On today's episode we give a quick update on our last episode about how we have implemented our plans and if they're working. Then we get a little more light-hearted this week and get into our topic, which is advice we would give to our newlywed selves to make our marriage a little bit easier. We discuss things like school, work, money, Roseanne (the TV show), and sex with the lights on. We hope you enjoy!
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On this episode we get deeply personal as we share a real discussion we had with each other over our sex life. We recorded our discussion just in case, and now we're being our bravest selves and posting it for all to hear the process as we communicate our concerns in a loving way and try to come up with solutions. Be prepared to hear more than you ever wanted to about the one problem that has plagued our relationship for almost its entirety. Listener discretion is advised.
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On this weeks episode we talk about getting a new cat, an ER visit with our 12 year old daughter with a heart condition, and having a meltdown over not wearing a mask in a public place. Eventually we make our way to this weeks topic and discuss mom and dad shaming and unsolicited parental advice. We talk about what it means to shame other parents and give some examples of times when we've been shamed. We exchange some facts from studies about what people in your life are more likely to shame you over parenting choices, and we offer some tips and tricks to to let the shame slide off your back and not ruin your day. So if you've ever been shamed in the past for your parenting choices, or you enjoy telling others' what they're doing wrong, this episode is for you.
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On this episode we talk about our year in review. We discuss how we managed to get through a tough year and why we had to rely on each other more than ever, what we learned while being stuck at home, and the things we have come to appreciate. And for some reason we also explain why Die Hard is apparently an aphrodisiac , so you'll definitely want to tune in to hear that.
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On this episode we discuss our feelings about the Christmas tradition of the Elf on the Shelf and whether or not it is time to move on from it. By the end of the episode we actually make a definitive decision about if we will continue suffering over it, or finally let it go, so listen for that.
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On this episode we talk about the gratitude that we have for each other, not only during the current pandemic, but especially during it. We tell each other specific things the other does for our family and our house that we appreciate. And finally we express our gratitude for the situation we are in, in which we are fortunate enough to get to stay home with our family all the time to try and protect our daughter from Covid-19.
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On today’s episode we talk about how homeschooling is going, and Halloween costumes past and present. We discuss at length why we love having “couple” friends, and tell the story of an attempt to make friends while living in Boise. And finally we talk about why we love the relationships we have with our current group of friends and why it works for us.
Specific topic discussed in this episode:
(2:00) Our lives are very stressful right now. (4:30) We are trying to understanding of the struggle of our kids with homeschool because it’s not something we dealt with as kids, but we are all having a hard time. (6:15) We spent so much money on Halloween costumes. It should be a crime how much Halloween costumes cost. We switch off every other year with making costumes and buying costumes. (10:45) We reminisce about how costumes worked in our houses while growing up, including an awesome homemade costume Rochelle’s aunt made, and an embarrassing homemade pumpkin costume Scott threw together, plus our favorite childhood costumes. (14:45) Scott talks about fake Halloween blood being forbidden from at his house. (18:00) We discuss couple friends and why we love them. (20:00) We talk about how some of our couple friendships developed, and how we all have done stuff together for over a decade. (23:00) We had a few years while we lived in Boise when we couldn’t see our friends as much, so we had to try and make new friends, with disastrous results. (26:15) We explain why we were nervous to meet our friend’s soon to be wife, because there might not be chemistry with her, even though there was with him, and what ended up happening. (31:30) We think trying to find another couple to be friends with is similar to dating. -
On this episode we briefly discuss Ivy’s clinic adventures, before diving into birth control. We talk about 12 different forms of birth control and how they work, and how well they work. We also talk about which ones we’ve had personal experience with. Obviously this episode gets into some things that may be offensive to some listeners, so listener discretion is advised.
Specific topic discussed in this episode:
(1:00) We had a long week due to our daughter going to the hospital every single day. (2:00) We explain some of the things Ivy had to do over the last week and some of the bittersweet results of the tests. (7:00) We talk about the one pretty shocking thing that came from all the tests. (12:40) This week we talk about some of the birth control options available. (13:15) IUD (inter uterine device), which is 99% effective. It can stay in place between 3 and 10 years. We actually got pregnant while on this form of birth control. (16:15) Scott is actually an IUD baby too! (17:20) Implant, which is also 99% effective and stays in place for up to 3 years. (19:00) Depo shot, which is 99% effective and lasts for 3 months. (20:15) Vaginal ring, which is 99% effective and is inserted in the vagina for 3 weeks out of the month. (20:55) Patch, which is 99% effective, and must be changed every week. (21:15) The pill, which is 99% effective, must be taken at the same time every day. We have experience with this one as well. It messed with Rochelle’s hormones, and we ended up pregnant because we couldn’t get the prescription filled. (24:15) Condoms, which are 98% effective, used each time you have sex. (25:15) Female condoms are 95% effective and works similarly to the regular condom. (26:10) Emergency contraception is either a pill or a copper IUD which prevents ovulation. It is not the same thing as an abortion. The effectiveness varies. (27:00) Spermicide is 82% effective, and is placed into the vagina immediately prior to sex. (27:35) Fertility awareness/family planning or the rhythm method is 76% effective and involves women tracking their cycle and figuring out the least and most likely times they would get pregnant. (28:00) The pull out method, which is only 73% effective and involves pulling the penis out of the vagina before ejaculation. (31:45) Rochelle goes on a mini rant about why birth control involves so much jumping through hoops for women and why “that shit’s crazy, man.” -
On this episode we talk about celebrating our youngest child’s birthday, our daughter, Ivy’s clinical appointments at the children’s hospital, and the overwhelming and tough time we have been having this year.
Specific topic discussed in this episode:
(1:00) We talk briefly about Ivy’s clinical appointments. (5:45) Our youngest child is no longer a baby. We talk about all the great things about him. (10:30) We talk about a failed IUD, having a 5th kid when we weren’t quite ready and other shenanigans surrounding Rochelle’s final pregnancy. (14:00) We also discuss Rochelle’s tubal ligation and why Scott didn’t get a vasectomy. (15:15) Kids are the best, but simultaneously also the worst. (20:30) We are depressed over the death of Ruth Bader Ginsberg, and we have a hard time joking about this shit show of a year. (22:15) The silver lining of 2020 is Rochelle getting to quit her job at a local mechanic shop. (25:30) We talk about Rochelle’s meltdown due to being overwhelmed. (29:30) We talk about Echo asking us what a “Karen” is and other weird cultural references. -
On this episode we discuss the 5 Love Languages, based on the book by Gary Chapman. We talk about what each love language means, and we talk about which one we believe the other person has.
Specific topic discussed in this episode:
(1:00) Scott is getting sick of being with the same ol’ people. But we went on a quick socially distant vacay. (3:15) School is all consuming of Rochelle’s life. (4:20) Rochelle doesn’t understand 6th grade math. (8:20) What are the 5 love languages? (9:45) Love language number one: Physical Touch (10:30) Love language number two: Gifts (11:10) Love language number three: Words of Affirmation (11:50)Love language number four: Quality Time (12:15) Love language number five: Acts of Service (14:00) Scott thinks Rochelle’s love language is acts of service. Rochelle thinks it is quality time. (16:00) Scott’s love language is physical touch. (22:00) We talk about our kids’ love languages, the ones we can actually see. (27:00) We discuss whether zodiac signs have anything to do with the love languages. (30:30) Are hugs good for your soul, or stress relieving. (31:45) Who of the two of us would get remarried if the other died…. (34:00) Go read The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. -
On this episode we get really fired up about allowing our kids to be themselves and choose their own path through life, and how allowing them to do that, isn’t about your own happiness, it’s about your child’s happiness.
Specific topic discussed in this episode:
(1:30) Spoiler Alert: We preface this episode by talking about Schitt’s Creek and the episode where Patrick tells his parents he is gay. (5:00) We talk about parents being able to accept their children for who they are, whether or not they make the decisions they would make. (11:15) We don’t understand why some parents force their will on their kids, or put their happiness on the decisions kids make. That is a lot of pressure, and that shouldn’t be how it works. (17:15) As a parent we go from being a coach to a cheerleader. (19:50) It doesn’t hurt to love our kids for who they are. (22:00) We talk about Scott’s experience with quitting wrestling. (25:30) Every kid has their own roadmap and we should respect that. (30:30) We discuss what jobs the kids talk about having when they’re older and why we support them, even when they don’t seem like great jobs to us. (34:30) Scott couldn’t be a rock star because John Denver cheated on his wife. Rochelle can’t stop laughing about it. -
In this bite sized mini episode we talk about whether or not having children can save your marriage.
Specific topic discussed in this episode:
(1:20) School started this week. It hasn’t been horrible. (6:15) Will having a baby save your marriage? (8:15) When tv characters have a baby, they complicate the task of recording a tv show, just like in real life, but in real life you can’t pretend the baby doesn’t exist. (10:00) Babies are hard and complicate everything, and the likelihood of them saving your marriage is slim. (13:00) We are out of the baby phase, because our kids are all growing up. Time flies when you’re old. -
On this episode we discuss another marriage myth that states that happy couples don’t fight. We talk about why it’s important how you fight in order to work through problems without making things worse.
Specific topic discussed in this episode:
(1:00) School is about to start. We spent our summer working on our yard and house, with no vacations. But we’re down to our last weekend. (7:30) Do happy couples fight? (10:30) Even the happiest of couples fight sometimes, but the important thing is the way you fight. (12:30) Couples should avoid name calling when fighting. (13:45) They should stay focused on the present. (15:15) They need to learn to compromise. (16:30) They keep fights between themselves. (18:15) They work through it the right way. (21:10) They accept apologies. (23:10) They avoid interrupting each other while fighting. (24:30) They admit when they are wrong. (27:10) They avoid generalizations. (28:30) They respect when the fight is over. (31:00) Rochelle is currently considering going to online therapy. (32:00) Scott compares himself to George Costanza. -
On this episode we get back to our marriage myths and discuss whether married life can be boring. We also talk about Schitt’s Creek, going back to school, and family vacations.
Specific topic discussed in this episode:
(1:00) The kids created a variation of tag called Corona tag. (2:20) We are currently watching Schitt’s Creek as a family and loving it so far. Rochelle in particular really enjoys it. We talk about why it’s so good. (9:30) We finally got back to marriage myths. Today’s myth is married life is boring. (10:30) Life is mundane sometimes. Family life thrives on routine, which can make things boring after a while. (12:00) Life is what you make it. If you do boring things, it’s going to be bored. You need to do the work to make your life exciting. (14:45) You can do things to make life more exciting. But they require work and effort and planning. (18:50) Married life can be boring, but it doesn’t have to be. And we’re all stuck in the same boring boat right now, but you take what you get and make do. (21:30) We talk briefly about school in the age of coronavirus with kids and the differences in high school, middle school, and elementary school. -
On this episode we discuss mistakes we’ve made as parents as well as some things we might be doing right. We also talk about asking the kids what they do and don’t like about our parenting.
Specific topic discussed in this episode:
(1:15) We’re all going to get through this crappy school year together. (3:00) We talk about weird language trends. (4:45) We’ve never made a parenting mistake. (5:15) We asked our kids what our mistakes were, and they couldn’t think of anything real. (6:40) They also told us the good things we do. (8:30) Let’s be honest, curfew is for parents, not kids. (10:30) We are all figuring it out as we go when it comes to being a parent. (11:45) We are afraid that we’re too good of friends with the kids, which people say is bad. (16:30) Everyone is non-confrontational, so things don’t get heated often. (18:45) Scott recalls hearing that he had to cut off the fun part of a father/son relationship when they become teenagers, and getting super bummed out. (21:00) We only have 2 teenagers, so we have a long way to go. (27:00) We talk about losing Corbin when he was a baby. We later found him on the roof of our hotel. We also lost Echo on a beach several years later. Both were super panicky and stressful situations that still cause anxiety to this day. (32:00) We recount Ivy getting stung by a bunch of wasps immediately following her arrival home after open heart surgery. Scott later killed them all like he was Liam Neeson (39:40) Rochelle doesn’t want the kids to feel about her the way she feels about her own parents. We just hope that every generation does better than the last. (43:15)Our advice is don’t be a dick. -
On this episode we talk about our 17 years of marriage, and give some advice (kind of). We also reminisce on our stupidity in the early years, and surviving the suburbs with animal neighbors.
Specific topic discussed in this episode:
(0:20) We recorded this episode on our 17th wedding anniversary. We discuss some random details from our wedding day. (5:00) We still like each other after all this time. (6:00) We talk about low points in our marriage, including flunking out of college, and squandering jobs, and getting pregnant before we were ready. (11:00) We tell the story about finding out we were pregnant and how it forced us to grow up really fast. (16:30) Sometimes you have to go through stupid things to force you to turn into who you’re supposed to be. (17:30) We talk about all the mice in our apartment in Ogden, Utah. (26:00) We talk about a hawk that lives in our yard, and other nearby animals (including cougars) even though we live in the suburbs. (33:00) We joke about how we don’t have advice, and then we give a little advice on surviving 17 years of marriage and 5 months of quarantine. (39:00) Our secret cure to having a boring marriage. (40:00) You need a lot of good things to overshadow one bad thing. So celebrate the good. -
On this episode we discuss the weird Utah holiday that Scott didn’t realize was a Utah thing until he was near adulthood. We also discuss the arrival of Taylor Swifts new album and why it’s the best thing to come out of 2020 so far.
Specific topic discussed in this episode:
(1:00) It’s a Utah holiday – Pioneer Day. (4:00) Scott thinks pubes equals being full grown. (9:00) We talk about Midvale Harvest Days from Rochelle’s childhood. (11:30) Echo looks forward to fireworks even though she has sensory issues with sound. (17:30) Instead of wasting on money on fireworks, you gotta waste it on things that matter, like alcohol, hot tubs, and Taylor Swift albums. (18:00) Rochelle freaks out about Taylor Swift because her new album is the only good thing that has happened so far this year. (21:30) Rochelle gives her theory that you have to listen to a music album 7 times before you can decide if it sucks or not. (27:00) We talk about hating country music and 90s R&B, but being able to enjoy pretty much all other styles of music, and how it makes life livable. (31:30) Husbands have a thing where they sit in the car in the driveway after arriving home from work. (34:30) We discuss why life seems so difficult for single parents, and we are so grateful that we don’t have to experience it. Our love goes out to the single parents out there. -
On this episode we talk about date night again, with more details than our old date night episode. We talk about a date we had a few years ago where one of us ended up in the emergency room, but we still had a great time. We also update with some at home date ideas since many people can’t go out right now.
Specific topic discussed in this episode:
(1:00) We used to have an interesting life, not anymore. (1:50) John Lithgow on Conan said sweet stuff about his wife, and everyone should watch it. (4:00) We wanted to revisit an episode we did early on in the podcast that was really short. (6:30) We actually used date night to finally make our podcast consistent. (9:30) We can’t make nighttime plans because we always have to search for toys for our youngest child to sleep with. (11:00) If we can do regular date nights while having 5 kids, we think you can do it too. (12:00) We give suggestions for connecting during date nights. (14:00) We giggle about a miscommunication over “code brown”. (15:30) We discuss why everybody loves poop stories and why they’ll always be funny, no matter your age or maturity. (18:00) We talk about trying to maintain a schedule during summer, weekends, quarantine. We don’t want chaos to break out. (20:00) Our family motto has changed from “It’s Fun Being Weird.” to “What’s the Point?” (21:30) We discuss tips and tricks for at home date nights. (25:30) Board games are fun, but not monopoly, because that causes divorce. (28:00) We recommend everyone watch Palm Springs on Hulu. (29:00) Date nights we get ready in the morning with it in mind, like wearing more risqué make up, and our funnest underwear. (30:00) We talk about a past date we went on, where we ended up in the emergency room. (33:30) Rochelle mentions the parts of Coronavirus culture that she hopes stays around after it goes away. (36:30) Life is stressful and it’s hard to “get it up”. -
On this episode we talk about making sacrifices in order to keep our family healthy. We also discuss in ridiculous detail why Rochelle believes in ghosts, while Scott believes in UFOs.
Specific topic discussed in this episode:
(0:45) We didn’t have a festive 4th of July. (2:00) We are still social distancing and it feels like it is never ending. (2:30) It is Ivy’s 8th anniversary of her last heart surgery. (4:00) We had to tell Scott’s family that we aren’t able to attend the family reunion. (5:20) We are stuck at home, but at least we have stuff to do. It is a first world problem to not be able to go on vacation. (8:00) We are willing to make all the sacrifices to make sure we don’t have to lose a child. (10:00) We aren’t sending our kids to school this year. (12:00) Stress has caused so many things to be harder, like sleep, sex, etc. The world is not “turned on” right now. (18:15) Waiting for the Coronavirus to go away is like watching paint dry. (19:00) Unsolved Mysteries is back on Netflix! We binged it so fast. (24:30) We discuss how Scott likes UFO stories, and Rochelle likes ghost stories. (27:15) Rochelle tells a ghost story about a baby mobile going on its own. (30:00) Scott is only afraid of ghosts when he’s in the shower washing his face. - Vis mere
