Episoder
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Welcome to Hope for the Caregiver here on American Family Radio.
This is Peter Rosenberger and I will be your host today through all things caregiver related.
I've been a caregiver so long that the hospital Wi-Fi connects automatically.
You know you've been a caregiver a long time when you call 911 and they say,
Hey Peter,
that's my life.
I've been a caregiver so long my idea of vacation is waiting in the car during surgery.
And even Siri whispers to me, bless your heart.
We are still in Denver, in the hospital.
And Gracie now has to go back into surgery on Monday or Tuesday.
This left leg just does not want to heal up.
This will be her 93rd and her 6th during this particular 10-week stretch we pulled.
So yeah, I know a little bit about the journey.
And I've learned a few things.
I'm going to give you some practical things right now.
Okay?
Just some practical.
We're going to get into some heavy stuff later on in the program.
But I've got some practical things.
One of them is when you're in an elevator.
A couple of points in an elevator.
For elevator etiquette.
And it's not what you think.
But it's...
I always let ladies exit and enter the elevator before me.
I hold the door and make sure they go in properly.
I told one guy, there was a bunch of them, and this guy tried to go in.
I said, no, you wait for me.
I was raised in the South.
I'll help the ladies, but I'm not going to help you.
You're a grown man.
I actually told him that on the elevator.
I mean, I've spent a lot of time in the hospital.
So these are things I observed.
But a lot of people will line up in front of the elevator on the bottom floor.
Now, why is that problematic?
Why?
Well, I'll tell you why.
Because there are people going to be getting off that elevator,
and they can't get off if there's some yahoo standing right in front of them.
And I'm like, has it not occurred to you maybe to wait over to the side?
Another thing is, don't be on speakerphone and having a conversation while on the elevator.
I understand being on the phone.
I'm often on Bluetooth, giving updates and so forth.
But when I get on the elevator,
I will tell whoever I'm talking to,
I'm getting ready to get on the elevator.
You keep talking, I'll listen.
I got a buddy of mine I was talking to back in Montana.
And I said, all right, I'm getting on the elevator.
You talk, I'll listen.
So he started asking me questions.
And I'm like, you didn't understand the point.
The point is, I'm getting on the elevator.
I'm not going to talk.
You talk, I'll listen.
Well, what do you want me to talk about?
Oh, for heaven's sakes.
And so I just kind of, you know, but that's another thing.
People get on the elevator and they got speakerphone going.
And I'm like, I jump into the conversation sometimes, you know, figured it's there.
It's a public conversation now.
And then here's something else.
And I'm not faulting you for this, but be aware that
Be aware of a few things when you're walking into a hospital, into a corridor.
Number one is if you're going around corners, drive in the right lane.
Okay?
Drive in the right lane.
We're not in Great Britain.
We're in America.
Drive in the right lane.
So hug the wall on your right side.
So when you go around a corner,
you're not doing like in NASCAR when you're getting way down low there.
You got to go up a little high and come around because there's somebody else coming
around that corner and they're driving in their right lane.
I have been involved in many near collisions because people were hugging the left corner.
Now,
that may sound stupid to you,
but you spend 10 weeks in a hospital,
and then you come back and tell me what you think,
okay?
And this ain't my first 10 weeks in the hospital with Gracie.
So these are things I observed that people are,
this is a very big hospital,
a lot of people,
and everybody's busy,
and I understand that.
Here's another little tidbit.
Situational awareness is everything.
Be aware of how you are in space and in time as you're moving in and out of this labyrinth of
of a place there where a lot of people are.
People are very busy.
This is, again, a teaching hospital.
So it's very busy.
It's always going 24-7.
And you have to be aware of where you are in space and in time.
Not just, you know...
ambling along.
I was on the elevator with two women, and they were older women, but not that old.
Well,
now that I think about it,
they're probably younger than me,
which,
now that's just kind of sad,
isn't it?
They looked older, but I realized they're probably younger than me.
Okay, well, all right, let me just go and cry over that one in the pantry.
But
Regardless,
they were on the elevator and one of them had a walker and they were very nicely dressed.
They were very pleasant ladies.
And I held the door and they started walking.
Well, I was in a bit of a hurry.
And these two women, one of them was rather large.
I mean, she wasn't gargantuan, but she's a big woman.
And the other one was a bit
hefty as well.
And she had a walker, but a little, not a walker, but one of those things with wheels on it.
You know what I'm talking about.
And she would sit down and into the elevator and then get up and start moving.
That's fine.
I live with somebody with mobility impairments.
I understand it.
But I am always aware of Gracie and me in time and space.
Always.
When I'm walking anywhere with her,
I'm aware of who's behind me,
who's in front of me,
who's to my left.
I'm always aware of things like that.
That's just the way I kind of
Some of it's my martial arts training, check your six, always look around, head on a swivel.
I get that.
Some of it's just common courtesy and some of it is just,
I just don't want somebody to run into me or me run into someone else.
And these two women were ambling along for a little afternoon stroll.
But they took up the entire corridor.
You couldn't get around them.
It was just not a space where I could.
And they walked wide, and they were wide.
And it wasn't just because of the one with the mobility device.
It was just because they were big and clueless.
And they went along at their stroll, and I had to go with their pace behind them.
And I was in a bit of a hurry.
I was like...
You know, do you have to take up the entire hallway?
You know,
because there's always little carts or something on the side of the thing,
and you can't easily pass in certain places.
And, you know, crash carts and things such as that scattered around the corridor there.
So it was like... And you say, you know, Peter, you're being petty.
Well, yes, I am.
But I've been here for 10 weeks, and I've just, you know...
Move it, people.
That's what I'm talking about.
Thank you for that.
That's what it feels like.
I'm telling you, that's what it feels like.
Move it, people.
There's nothing like being in a hospital for a lengthy period of time to...
force you into a different kind of, I don't know.
But I never cease to be amazed on how people amble and stroll and mosey
in a place where there's a high traffic area.
And it's a bit jarring because I'm moving quickly.
And I'm not just sitting there with Gracie all day long doing nothing.
I mean, oh, I think I'll stretch my legs and go down to the cafeteria.
I'm working.
I have to work all the time.
I mean, I don't have to work all the time, but I have to work
I can't put my life on hold for 10 weeks.
And I've written,
by the way,
I've written quite a bit here,
40,000 plus words since I've been here.
Five published articles and I finished a new book that's going to be out next year.
Got one coming out this summer and we'll talk about that.
And then I've got a new book that'll be out next year that I think you're going to really like.
But I've been working and then I've gotten shipments over to Africa and so forth.
I mean, I work.
And then I'm looking after her.
I'm back and forth to the hospital frequently.
I come to do this radio program.
I do a live show on Wednesdays.
And that's one of the reasons I went in a hurry that day because I had to get back
over to the hotel across the street where I do a live show on Wednesday afternoons.
And so I was,
you know,
wanting these women to move a little faster or at least move over,
you know,
just same thing as being on a highway.
You don't go on the interstate at 30 miles an hour.
And they just, you know, were clueless.
I mean, truly clueless.
And I see this a lot in the hospital.
If you have to go into the hospital for an extended period of time,
be aware that you're going to see high traffic areas and stay to the right.
And don't stand right in front of an elevator blocking it so people on the elevator
can't get off.
You're not getting on unless they get off.
And so give them space to maneuver.
My father used to always say that.
He said, keep moving forward, but give space to maneuver.
That was one of his trademark lines.
And he was such a student of observing people and their behaviors that he would
probably chuckle at this.
I don't know if you are, but I'm sorry.
I just had to take this moment to vent out because I'm tired of running into people
by the elevators and through the hallways of this hospital.
Listen, we got more to go.
This is Peter Rosenberger, Hope for the Caregiver, hopeforthecaregiver.com.
We'll be right back.
Thank you.
Welcome back to Hope for the Caregiver.
I am Peter Rosenberger, PeterRosenberger.com.
PeterRosenberger.com.
If you want to explore more of what I put out there for you as a family caregiver,
I hope you'll take advantage of it.
Right up at the top of the page, you say, check out Peter's Substack page.
Well, what does that mean?
Well, Substack is an online newsletter.
And there are lots of different things that I put out there.
You can put video and audio and print and so forth, and that's what I do.
And
On this page, my latest post is, what do you think?
It's called What Do You Think?
And it's from my book, A Minute for Caregivers, When Every Day Feels Like Monday.
And I post these out every Monday.
So if you go out today and subscribe to this,
you'll get a missive on Monday to tell you about a new one.
But right now,
you can go out and read this today,
look at it,
and there's some other things out there.
Some of it's behind a paywall,
and you have to subscribe for that if that's your choice you want to do.
But this I put out every Monday for free.
And this is one I think that would connect deeply with you as a caregiver.
I'll give you a bit of a preview of this, okay?
And the concept behind it.
That's the special bonus that you're going to get today on this program.
Like I said, I've been here for a long time.
I've devolved into elevator etiquette for a conversation topic.
I mean, you get a little bit loopy here when you have these kinds of lengthy hospital stays.
But I have often and embarrassingly inserted my opinion during Gracie's long medical journey.
I know you're saying to yourself, no, Peter, that couldn't happen.
You wouldn't give your opinion.
You would be quiet and demure and genteel, and you would be a wallflower.
I know you might think that.
That may be your first inclination to go there, but...
Let me dispel you of that and tell you that I have done this and I don't recall
being frequently asked for my opinion,
particularly by surgeons.
Yet,
as the team was observing Gracie's response during the recovery process of one of
her surgeries,
the lead surgeon looked at me and said,
what do you think?
All right, now think through that for just a moment.
This guy is a serious surgeon, not a lightweight.
You don't serve in this particular hospital, this teaching hospital.
You don't serve in this capacity as a teacher,
as the attending,
unless you've got some real game to you.
Let me just add, I don't let you work on my wife unless you have some real game to you.
Okay?
We're pretty hard on docs and surgeons.
I had a resident tell me that, you know, I've never seen this before.
They were looking at some stuff with Gracie and said, we've never seen this before.
I looked at this surgeon and I said,
you know,
the first time I heard that from a surgeon,
Ronald Reagan was president.
And they couldn't believe it.
I mean, they were stung it.
They really don't know how to wrap their mind around that.
So anyway, this surgeon looked at me, and he's not a lightweight surgeon.
What do you think?
Well,
you know,
four decades of living with Gracie,
I understand nuances about her that no medical professional could ever hope to know.
They don't have the kind of time to be brought up to speed on Gracie.
I have a PhD in Gracie.
And it came from the School of Hard Knocks.
Most of them, she's knocked on my head.
And I hear an amen from Gleason, Tennessee, where Betsy has just said amen.
She listens to this program and she's saying amen.
I've known Betsy and her husband Tommy for a very, very long time.
They've known me since I was 14 or 15 years old.
But anyway, the School of Hard Knocks, that's it.
A lengthy list of unpleasant events,
and I'm saying that with a great deal of diplomacy,
has taught me and continues to teach me the value of keeping my opinion to myself
and only sharing what I've witnessed and experienced to the best of my abilities.
Now, sometimes it gets the best of me, I admit.
But I try to stay with my experience.
and what I've observed.
So when the surgeon graciously sought my thoughts, I stayed on message.
I shared what I've observed of my wife and her challenges and avoided speculating.
Here's what I've observed.
One of the things I've observed that post-operatively,
when something can go wrong with a patient,
it usually will go wrong with Gracie.
That's what I've observed.
And I went on to
share with him some other things i've observed about her lengthy history nodding
with understanding he ordered a few additional tests evidently in part based upon
my response and he continued looking for solutions now as a caregiver i'm learning
to stay in my lane i really am i don't
Don't jump to conclusions that I'm not,
even though I went on the whole elevator diatribe at the last block.
I'm learning to stay in my lane while speaking with calm authority about what I know.
recognizing that my experience is far worthier than my opinion.
And I put a quote on there from Kurt Cobain.
You may not know who he is.
He's a particularly sad,
tragic figure who was the lead singer,
guitarist,
songwriter for Nirvana,
a very troubled young man who took his life when he was 27.
He had been just a very sad, troubled man, but he was a very deep thinker.
And he wrote something once that said,
we have no right to express an opinion until we know all of the answers.
And again, he was an extremely troubled young man.
who sadly took his life.
Many attempts tried to take his life before, dealt with drugs and so forth.
But in the middle of his distress,
he had such profound things that he said,
the way he approached things.
And I love that quote, we have no right to express an opinion until we know all the answers.
And I think of my own life and how many times I have shot my mouth off with an
opinion and I didn't even know what I was talking about.
And I go back to what I said with this doctor.
In my experience, this is what I've seen.
This is what I've witnessed.
This is what I've observed.
And I thought that may be helpful to some of you as caregivers when dealing with
your physicians and the medical providers treating your loved one or in general
with anyone.
Here's what I've witnessed.
Here's what I've seen.
Because your experience is unimpeachable.
It's yours.
You've experienced this.
Your eyewitness is unimpeachable.
This is what you saw.
This is what you have encountered.
And if you stay in that place, you're not going to get off into the weirdness of opinion.
And I also think about that with our Christian faith.
How many of us give our opinion versus, here's my experience.
That's why I love going back to some of these hymns who have said it so beautifully,
O God,
our help in ages past.
our hope for years to come, our shelter from the stormy blast and our eternal home.
Well, that's saying, look, here's our experience.
This is what we've seen, what he's done.
You know, look at 1 Samuel 7, 12.
Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mitzvah and Shem and called its name Ebenezer.
For he said, thus far the Lord has helped us.
And the word Ebenezer means stone of help.
Do you know the only hymn that uses the word Ebenezer?
It's from Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing.
Here I raise my Ebenezer,
hither by thy help I come,
and I hope by thy good pleasure safely to arrive at home.
Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing.
It's such a great hymn.
Sadly,
the writer of that hymn, struggled with his faith.
Even though he had that great line,
bind my wandering heart to thee,
prone to wonder,
Lord,
I feel it.
And he struggled,
I think,
all of his life,
or certainly later on in his life,
and struggled with his faith.
But at that time, he wrote that.
Again,
sometimes some of the best things can come from people who are struggling mightily
with stuff.
like Kurt Cobain or like the author of this hymn.
His name was Robert Robertson.
He wrote that hymn back in 1758.
He was just a kid.
He was just 22.
Kurt Cobain was 27 when he killed himself.
And I don't know if Robert Robertson ever...
was able to resolve some of those issues in his life that he struggled with as he
grew older,
and he supposedly left the faith.
I don't know.
I have no idea.
Somebody who knows more about him can maybe let me know.
But he wrote this hymn, and it was a powerful hymn, and it's been sung all over the world.
Here I raise my Ebenezer.
Hither by thy help I've come.
So far, thus far, the Lord has.
This is my experience.
You know, look at Revelation.
They overcame by the blood of the Lamb and the word of their opinion.
No, that's not what it says.
It says they overcame by the blood of the Lamb and the word of their testimony,
their experience.
When I listen to preachers, one of the things I listen for is their experience.
I'm not interested in really your opinion.
Show me what the text says.
Show me how you've seen this in your life or in others, what you've observed.
And anchor me in this text.
I'm not interested in your opinion that much.
What I am interested in is understanding Scripture on an experiential level,
to see these things fleshed out.
And so when I talked to that surgeon,
I said,
look,
in my experience,
this is what I've watched with Gracie.
I've seen this.
I am testifying to this.
And that was enough for this surgeon to use that in a protocol because it's
firsthand experiential.
That's the thing about our faith.
We're not asked to take a leap of faith into the dark.
We're invited by Scripture, asked, commanded by, to anchor our faith in the light.
And this is the experience.
I look at John, the Apostle John, when he's talking about Jesus being crucified.
He said, I've witnessed this.
Look at John 1935.
He who saw it has borne witness.
His testimony is true.
And he knows that he is telling the truth that you may also believe.
It's almost like John,
and I don't know,
if you're a theologian or scholar,
you could tell me,
but it's almost like he is saying this as an affidavit in court.
Like, do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?
And he's saying,
if you go back and look at the message,
sometimes it helps me to understand it if you go back and look at different
translations and paraphrases.
In the message, it says, "...the eyewitness to these things has presented an accurate report.
He saw it himself and is telling the truth so that you also will believe."
I gave a firsthand account of credible witness to my wife's medical journey.
The surgeon acted on that and made some changes in this.
The Apostle John, the prophet Samuel, gave credible witness to what God has done.
John gave witness to that.
This is what happened to Jesus on the cross so that we will also believe.
That's not stepping into the dark.
That's acting on the light.
And that is hope for the caregiver.
This is Peter Rosenberger, PeterRosenberger.com.
We'll be right back.
Peter Rosenberger.
He's not a preacher, but he's got great hair.
Welcome back to Hope for the Caregiver.
I am Peter Rosenberg.
Glad to be with you today.
And you know what?
You may have just turned this show on midstream.
You might be right here in the middle of the show.
And you've been up all night having a conversation with the ceiling fan.
And you wake up and you hear a program that's for family caregivers of all things.
And you think, where has such a program been?
Well, it's been right here.
But I'm glad you're here with us now.
And I've been doing this for 14 years.
I've been on American Family Radio now for seven years.
And I understand how difficult this journey is.
I really do.
And I understand what brings me comfort.
And I ask you, think about that for just a moment.
Most of you know my story.
And if you're brand new to the audience and you're just coming in halfway through
the show,
that's okay.
Four decades later.
And on Monday or Tuesday, my wife will have her 93rd surgery.
Car wreck back in 1983.
Now think through the lengthy amount of time this is.
How many hospitalizations?
We've been here for this particular stretch for 10 weeks.
Doesn't show, I don't know when we're going home.
But we can't go home until this is done.
And I understand how difficult this journey is.
So what brings me comfort?
What brings Gracie comfort in this?
Is it anesthesia?
Is it painkillers?
Well, it helps ease her pain.
But is that what brings her comfort?
Is that what brings me comfort?
What brings me comfort?
I mean, think about it.
I mean,
I'm working out of a hotel room across the street in not the best part of town in Aurora,
Colorado.
I'd like to be at home.
I could have been out on the snowmobile.
and enjoying a beautiful Montana winter.
Instead, I'm over here in a hotel, and sometimes I know the other night I had ramen noodle soup.
I was tired.
I didn't feel like going anywhere, so I just had ramen soup.
I remember I was staying at a hotel down the road here.
There's several hotels across the street, but now I've camped out at this one.
I've been here now multiple times.
We've been out here,
and this is where I'm going to be permanently,
but I don't think we're going to have to come back for another stretch.
But I was staying at one down the road, and they got it messed up.
This was some years ago.
And they got it messed up in our room.
But I was in the middle of Gracie's surgery,
and I didn't do anything about it until about a week or two after she'd kind of stabilized.
And I was checking out one.
I mean,
I was at the counter,
and they had a little,
you know how hotels do,
they have a little place where you can buy overpriced items.
And they had some soup.
And I just, you know, it goes back to my college days, some ramen soup.
And I had there on the counter my dinner that night because I was tired and I
didn't feel like going anywhere.
And I paid overpriced ramen soup, you know, and you know how much that stuff costs.
But I mentioned the night manager.
I said, look, I'm just now getting back with you.
But when we got here, they were supposed to have this kind of room for my wife.
They didn't have it.
They really kind of messed it up and it was very difficult.
And I just want to bring that to your attention.
And she saw my soup on the counter there and she said, oh, I'm so sorry.
Here, take that on us.
It's the least we could do.
And I used a great deal of restraint.
You have no idea the torque involved in this.
And I almost said, but I didn't say, it's ramen soup.
There ain't no leaster.
Of course, it's the least you could do.
But she was very sincere, and I let it slide.
Eventually,
I talked to the daytime manager,
and they worked out the problem and got it all squared away.
So, you know, this is the way I'm living here.
And Gracie's not certainly enjoying where she is.
I mean, she's had now, this will be her sixth surgery in this 10-week stretch here.
This leg just doesn't want to heal.
And they have to go in there and redo something even different now.
And so here we are.
But we can't leave.
This is for all the marbles.
If we get this right, she has a better quality of life.
If we get it wrong, she's in pretty dire circumstances for the rest of her life on earth.
And so I get the journey.
What brings me comfort?
What has settled my heart down?
What has given me the ability to focus and be clear-headed during this?
And that is thinking on the things of God.
Not abstractly.
I'm talking about up close and personal, really contemplating these things.
I've been studying.
I've been going through the book of John while I'm here.
And I am resolved to these things because I know that there's a greater work going on.
And that I go back to what I've been saying over the last couple of weeks here with
the Heidelberg Catechism.
What is my only comfort in life and in death?
And that is I belong to Christ.
And in this world,
he will see fit to allow us to go through very painful things,
sometimes horrific things.
I don't know why.
I'm not really all that excited about it.
I don't like it.
But I am so committed to this because I see that he has saved me from something far worse.
And I belong in his service.
And that this is where he's asked us to go.
And this is what Gracie said when I was praying for her.
I mentioned this two weeks ago before her 91st surgery.
And I was like, Lord, this is too many.
Gracie said, no, it's not.
This is how many he thinks is necessary.
And we're going to do what he has led us to do.
And I know that,
I think it was Karl Marx or Stalin or somebody,
one of those guys,
who said that religion is the opioid for the masses,
right?
I can't say that I disagree with that.
But I'm not talking about religion.
I'm talking about theology.
Understanding and knowing, discovering, learning about God.
Religion is man's attempt to do these things.
Theology is studying what God has already shown us in His Word.
That we can know Him.
And I've said this before on this program,
but I had a caller call in to the Wednesday live show that I do and asked,
is suffering required in order to grow in our Christianity?
And my answer was, suffering is required to be a human being.
In this world, we're going to have it.
I mean, it's part of the condition.
And you can live your whole life without being afflicted by trauma or disease of
any magnitude,
not even approaching anywhere near where Gracie is.
But you're still going to die.
Your body's going to get old and die.
Unless Christ returns, none of us are getting out of this thing alive.
That's just part of the human condition.
It's how we trust God in those things.
That's where the difference is.
And I go back to this surgical event that we're dealing with here in our life right now.
Now, these surgeons that I've been working with here, and they're wonderful men.
I've worked with them now for some time,
and I've gotten to know them a little bit,
but I don't know them all that well.
I don't know, for example, her attending surgeons, wife and kids and all those kinds of things.
I really don't know a lot of his background.
I know where he's from, but that's pretty much about it.
But this man,
who I barely know,
will take my wife into a room with a bunch of strangers who I do not know,
and they will do ghastly things to her body with ghastly tools that I wouldn't want
to even touch.
And then when he comes out, I'll thank him.
And Gracie does too.
She took his hand one time.
Thank you.
How often do we do that to people who wear white lab coats or surgical scrubs?
Thank you, doctor.
Thank you, doctor.
And we treat them with reverence and respect, and we barely know them.
We don't know where their doctrinal stances are.
We don't know what they believe, why they believe it.
We don't know those things.
We just know that they've been certified to do such and such by the governing
authorities of the state and the medical licensing board,
and this hospital has vetted them,
and the teaching university they went to has properly instructed them.
And we take that on faith, even though we've never looked at their transcripts.
we've never looked at their grades we don't know anything about them but we will
let them go in there and do things to our loved ones and we will thank them for it
how much more can we approach the king of kings and lord of lords when he does
these things how much more skilled is he and we can know him he has made it
possible that's what theology is he's laid it all out this is who i am
Now, we will never know Him absolutely because we're not infinite beings like He is.
But we can know Him truly.
He's immutable.
His loving kindness never fails.
His grace, His mercy, His wisdom, His justice, His wrath, all of those things laid out.
Corrie Ten Boone once said, don't be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.
What brings us comfort is that I am not trusting Gracie to a bunch of people in
medical gear that I don't know.
I'm trusting her to the one I do know.
You're going to hear me do this probably for the rest of the time I have a program.
But I love to quote my father.
And mom told me this story about him one time.
And I've seen this in his life.
And I have so many great, wonderful memories of things that he has said and imparted to us.
But she was struggling with something young into their marriage.
And I don't know how young it was, mom.
Mom listens every week.
I don't know how young you were, but it was some time ago.
And she kind of popped off.
How do you know that?
because dad was sharing something from scripture with her she said well how do you
know this and dad responded very calmly because i know god because i know god what
gives me comfort i know god he's told me who he is and i take him at his word
And that's what strengthens me.
That's what equips me.
That's what settles me down.
I can produce a lengthy line of people,
some of them in this audience,
who have known me for a very long time and would say,
yeah,
that ain't Peter.
That's evidence of the redemptive work of Christ in Peter's life because that ain't him.
We know Peter.
We've seen his work.
And that's not me.
And thanks be to God, it isn't me.
It doesn't have to be you either.
We don't have to be reactive all the time.
We are invited by Scripture to cast all our cares on Him.
We're invited to walk in His statutes, to trust Him, to take Him in His Word.
And He gives us all the evidence that we need of said step of faith.
And like I said in the last block, we're not stepping by faith into the dark.
We're stepping by faith into the light.
The credible testimony of others who have observed this,
who have walked this,
like John himself said in the Gospel of John,
I saw it.
I was there.
Like I said to that surgeon, here's what I've seen.
And so when I look at people like my father and like so many who said,
here's what I have observed.
Here's what I know.
Here's what I've experienced.
That is what comforts and strengthens me and equips me and fortifies me.
And then I could take that into Gracie's hospital room and offer her the same
comfort that I myself have received from the God of all comfort.
And you know what that is?
That is hope for this caregiver.
This is Peter Rosenberger.
We'll be right back.
Welcome back to Hope for the Caregiver.
This is Peter Rosenberger.
Do you know what that hymn is?
That hymn is called Abide With Me.
And it's from my CD, Songs for the Caregiver.
I've always loved this hymn.
This is my mother's favorite hymn.
And I've played this
countless times.
You can see this, like I said, on my CD, Psalms for the Caregiver.
You can download the whole thing wherever digital music is streamed,
or you can call Logos Bookstore in Nashville,
Tennessee and get a copy of it.
They're the only ones that care.
It's all out at my website,
PeterRosenberger.com,
but that's not the purpose of me telling you all this.
I used to play this hymn and many others in the sanctuary church where we attended
in Nashville for many years and
My pastor at the time asked me to play on Sunday mornings as people were coming in
to help create a more reverent atmosphere for the church.
So people would just talk, you know, yabber.
They would come in and be more reflective.
So I would work out a lot of these hymn arrangements that I did there.
And during the week, I would practice this.
And I noticed that I wasn't alone in the sanctuary.
And at the back, there was a custodian there at the church
And he would be putting hymnals back in the racks and sweeping and straightening it up,
very much like my father used to do when he was a young man.
And I've got a picture of my father when he was working at a church as a custodian.
So I had a very special place in my heart for custodians of churches,
and this man was no exception.
And I would stop and ask him, I'd say, hey, do you want me to play something for you?
And he said, no, just keep playing, just keep playing.
So I'd play and sometimes I'd practice there for an hour, maybe more.
And a beautiful Steinway up at the front of the church.
And that's the cover of my CD is me playing in that sanctuary by myself.
Except I have one picture of me playing there.
It was taken from the choir loft area where I was.
And you can make out Mike in the very back there.
And that picture hangs on a wall in my parents' home.
I gave that to my father and
That picture is juxtaposed against the picture of my dad when he was in the sanctuary serving.
Now, why am I telling you all this?
Well,
this week in the news,
they released more of the writings from the shooter at the Covenant School there in Nashville.
The first victim that she shot and killed was Mike,
the custodian who used to listen to me play the piano.
Two years ago this week, I went back to Nashville to play at his funeral
And I played for him one last time.
I look at the horrific things about that event, and it's still surreal.
It's hard to believe.
Hard to believe it happened.
And the unspeakable tragedy with so many.
I refuse,
and if this gets me in trouble,
you can write letters to peter at the internet dot Google.
But I refuse to call this individual a transgender or a guy.
was a girl it was a woman 28 years old i believe who was very very very disturbed
according to the news reports she had been writing horrifically violent plans for
some time and i don't know why it wasn't caught i don't know why
nobody seemed to intercept this or say something,
but I just know that from the facts,
she showed up that day,
and Mike was the first person in her path,
and she shot and killed him.
And I think about all the times that Mike said to me, just keep playing, just keep playing.
So I do,
and I played at his funeral two years ago this week,
and I played,
the opening hymn was Great Is Our Faithfulness,
And I got to tell you all, I laid into it.
I didn't hold back.
I didn't play it like a mourner.
Mike wouldn't have wanted me to.
Play it with conviction.
Play it like a believer.
And he would want me to do so.
I said, this time I was in the front of the church in the choir loft area, different sanctuary.
But Mike's casket was just,
instead of him being at the back of the church sitting there listening,
His casket was right there up front, just 10, 15 feet away from me.
And these are hard things.
We don't have the words for it.
We groan.
But we're not alone in our groaning.
And I just want to leave you with today.
I know this is a bit of a somber note for the show, but I wanted to
leave this with because I never forget that the reason why people listen to this
program is because they're hurting.
And the reason why people give me an hour of their time to listen to this is
because they feel like they're drowning.
And I understand that sometimes the person who understands you the most is the one
who's bled like you have.
And I have.
Still do.
Many times in that sanctuary when I was playing,
I was pouring out my heart because I didn't have the words for some of the things
that Gracie and I were going through.
Mike kept saying, just keep playing.
Just keep playing.
Just keep playing.
The Spirit groans on our behalf.
Scripture tells us to pray without ceasing.
Just keep praying.
Just keep praying.
when we don't have the words.
And that's why I'm grateful for music.
I wish I had the caregiver keyboard here at this hotel while we're in this hospital visit,
but I don't.
So I have to make do.
I look forward to being able to getting home and playing the piano some more.
Just keep playing.
It's a hard thing to read about that in the news.
And this is the world we're in.
And it's not going to get any better anytime soon.
It doesn't look like.
But we are not absolved from walking into that craziness and heartache with the
confidence of the gospel.
And that is what I am committed to doing.
I've been writing a song when the shooting occurred.
I've been writing a song that had it for about a month or two, but it wasn't finished.
I finished it right after the shooting.
In fact, I finished it within that evening because I was just so overwhelmed by watching this.
And I had Gracie sing it.
I titled the piece Covenant Lament.
I really didn't know what else to call it.
What else can you say?
He's just lamenting.
And I went to the words of Scripture that helped shape this.
This is all Scripture.
And I wanted to leave this with you all today.
At the end of this program, some of you are groaning.
Some of you are weeping.
And I want you to know that there's one who weeps for us and groans for us.
And we can trust him.
Listen to Gracie sing as we take the show out today.
And thank you for your time.
I'm Peter Rosenberger.
And I remember what my friend Mike told me.
Keep playing.
Just keep playing.
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In this powerful episode of Hope for the Caregiver, Peter Rosenberger shares hard-won insights from the trenches of nearly four decades as a caregiver—currently speaking from the hospital room where his wife Gracie just underwent her 92nd surgery. With humor, grit, and deep theological reflection, Peter walks listeners through what it means to endure—and even thrive—through suffering.
From singing hymns “around midnight” like Paul and Silas, to holding the hand of a broken CNA just hours after surgery, this episode brings raw honesty and gospel truth to the forefront. Peter unpacks how the presence of God—not explanations—anchors caregivers through the storms of affliction. He also offers updates on Gracie’s extraordinary journey, his new Substack reflections, and a preview of his upcoming book, A Caregiver’s Companion: Daily Inspiration for Life’s Toughest Role.
If you’ve ever wondered, “Do we trust Him or not?”—this episode is for you.
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Manglende episoder?
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What comforts a caregiver when the pain won’t let up and the surgeries keep piling up—91 of them, to be exact? In this Hope for the Caregiver episode, Peter Rosenberger shares deeply personal reflections from Colorado, where his wife Gracie recently endured her 90th and 91st surgeries. From exhaustion and setbacks to faith and grit, Peter pulls back the curtain on life inside a hospital room—and the unshakable hope that sustains them both. His source of comfort? Words penned in 1563: "That I am not my own, but belong body and soul, in life and in death, to my faithful Savior, Jesus Christ." That truth, not a platitude, anchors the soul in the storm.
But comfort isn’t just about feeling better—it’s about being better. Peter explores the real meaning of "comfort," tracing it back to its Latin roots: com forte—“with strength.” That strength doesn’t come from cruises, casseroles, or clichés but from a seasoned, sanctified faith forged over decades in the crucible of suffering. God isn't in the business of pampering; He's in the business of preparing.
Finally, Peter tackles the cultural fog smothering the next generation. From fear-fueled climate doomsday talk to gender confusion, Peter asks a bold question: What happens when we obsess over carbon footprints but forget how to stand? His answer? Ground them in truth. Offer strength, not slogans. If you're wondering how to speak hope into a hopeless culture, this episode gives you the words and the witness to do it.
For More Information, visit www.PeterRosenberger.com
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Hope for the Caregiver is the nation’s leading broadcast for family caregivers, hosted by Peter Rosenberger. With four decades of experience as a caregiver to his wife, Gracie—who has undergone 90 surgeries and bilateral amputations—Peter provides practical insights, biblical wisdom, and much-needed humor for fellow caregivers. His approach is candid, often humorous, and always grounded in the reality of caregiving’s daily struggles and triumphs.
In this episode, Peter shares an update on Gracie’s ongoing medical journey, including her recent surgeries to address severe orthopedic complications that have lasted decades. He describes the challenges of extended hospital stays, navigating the healthcare system, and the importance of advocating for loved ones. He also reflects on the importance of caregiver authority—standing firm in conversations with medical professionals while ensuring that a loved one’s needs are met.
Amidst these serious topics, Peter brings his signature wit, recounting experiences in Aurora, Colorado, where he’s currently stationed during Gracie’s treatment. From navigating hospital hallways to dodging crime scenes and Canadian geese, he finds humor in the chaos, reminding caregivers that even in the darkest moments, laughter can be a lifeline.
Additionally, Peter highlights the 20th anniversary of Standing with Hope, the prosthetic limb outreach he and Gracie founded to serve amputees in Africa. This ministry, along with the caregiver outreach, is a testament to their mission: sharing hope with the wounded and those who care for them. Through every challenge, Peter continues to encourage caregivers to stand strong, stay informed, and hold onto the hope that sustains them.
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In this episode of Hope for the Caregiver, Peter Rosenberger shares an update from Denver, where his wife, Gracie, is recovering from her 89th surgery—an unexpected and grueling procedure that has required weeks in the ICU. Reflecting on his four-decade caregiving journey, Peter delves into the ever-evolving lessons of trust, peace, and endurance, particularly in the face of prolonged suffering. He challenges the often-glib encouragement to "just trust Jesus" by asking what that truly looks like in the trenches of caregiving. Through his personal reflections and a deep dive into the Gospel of John, Peter explores the profound nature of Christ’s peace and how it sustains caregivers when words of comfort from others fall short.
A powerful moment in the episode comes from a street encounter with a troubled young woman fearing for her safety. In a brief yet meaningful conversation, Peter reminds her—and by extension, all caregivers—that she is worth protecting. This story underscores a vital theme: the importance of recognizing one’s own worth amidst the demands of caregiving. Peter also introduces his article on “discretionary valor,” urging caregivers to discern when to act and when to step back, ensuring they do not spread themselves too thin by rushing into every crisis. He emphasizes that caregivers, like soldiers, must learn the art of restraint to preserve their strength for the battles that matter most.
The episode also features a discussion with author and trauma expert Sandra Allen Lovelace on the impact of trauma in caregiving and family estrangement. Together, they explore the necessity of recognizing and addressing trauma rather than ignoring or suppressing it. Peter ties these insights back to the mission of Standing with Hope, the nonprofit he and Gracie founded to provide prosthetic limbs to amputees in West Africa. As the episode closes, Peter reminds caregivers that healing—whether physical, emotional, or spiritual—is a process that requires intentionality, faith, and community. Through personal anecdotes, biblical insights, and practical wisdom, this episode offers a compelling message of hope and perseverance for those carrying the weight of caregiving.
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In this episode of Hope for the Caregiver, Peter Rosenberger shares powerful insights on the importance of surrounding yourself with uplifting voices, particularly as a caregiver. Drawing from his own experiences and biblical wisdom, he encourages listeners to take inventory of the people influencing their lives—reminding them that while we can't change others, we can change who we allow into our hearts. Through humor, personal stories, and practical faith-based encouragement, Peter challenges caregivers to set boundaries, reject harmful criticism, and anchor their self-worth in God’s truth rather than the opinions of others.
Peter also welcomes author Kathy Howard to discuss her book Deep Rooted: Growing Through the Gospel of John, addressing the widespread issue of biblical illiteracy and the urgent need for believers to engage deeply with Scripture. In addition, he shares exciting updates on Gracie’s music, his latest book projects, and reflections on caregiving while navigating his wife’s ongoing health journey. With a message of hope, faith, and perseverance, this episode offers practical encouragement for caregivers and anyone seeking to stand firm in the midst of life’s challenges.
peterrosenberger.com
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In this episode of Hope for the Caregiver, Peter Rosenberger shares deeply personal insights from decades of caregiving, including his ongoing journey with his wife, Gracie, who recently underwent another major surgery. Broadcasting from Denver, he reflects on the struggles caregivers face—physical, emotional, and spiritual—and emphasizes the importance of standing on solid ground amidst the chaos. Through scriptural wisdom, personal anecdotes, and hard-earned experience, Peter challenges caregivers to ask themselves, What do you believe? He discusses the necessity of sound theology in sustaining caregivers for the long haul and highlights the importance of anchoring faith in God’s unchanging grace.
Peter also provides an update on Gracie’s recovery, sharing both the challenges and victories in her rehabilitation process. With humor and heartfelt reflection, he discusses the fear of pain, the need for self-care, and how caregivers can find strength in their faith. From practical advice to scriptural encouragement, this episode offers a powerful reminder that if He is Lord at all, He is Lord of all. Tune in for a dose of wisdom, encouragement, and a few good laughs along the way.
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In this episode of Hope for the Caregiver, Peter Rosenberger shares an intimate look at life in the hospital with Gracie as she prepares for another major surgery. He discusses the challenges of acute caregiving, the comfort found in deep friendships, and the humor that sustains them through tough times. With reflections on faith, perseverance, and the importance of staying healthy as a caregiver, Peter also shares insights from Gracie’s latest blog post on chronic pain and her upcoming book. Plus, he explores the significance of prioritizing care and how caregivers can navigate difficult choices.
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Caregiving is tough—but a little humor goes a long way! In this episode, I dive into the Caregiver FOG (Fear, Obligation, and Guilt), share a few hospital misadventures, and remind you why laughter is one of the best survival tools for caregivers. Plus, a chat with Gracie from her hospital room—where she somehow still finds ways to make fun of me after her 87th surgery. (I’m fine. Thanks for asking.)
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, or just need a good laugh to break the tension, this episode is for you!
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From the opening monologue with "The Caregiver Keyboard," where I discuss identity loss and family caregivers, we cover a lot of ground in this episode. In the B Block, I share lessons learned from Montana Winters. In the C BLOCK, I share a story I've always loved about people who "Sang on the Lawn." In the D Block, I share what's about to happen to Gracie this week.
www.peterrosenberger.com
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Sue brings this message through all her offerings as a speaker, leadership coach, caregiving influencer, educator, and author. These include her online course, The Caregiver’s Journey, and her book Our Journey of Love 5 Steps to Navigate Your Caregiving Journey, which walks family caregivers through their entire caregiving journey. Her program, Leadership C.A.R.E.S., helps businesses address the growing crisis in family caregiving. Intentionally Navigating Transitions is a six-week process for individuals to successfully navigate change in their lives.
For more information, please visit https://thecaregiversjourney.com/ or email [email protected]
And, to view the TEDx talk, please visit: https://tinyurl.com/SueRyanTEDxTalk1 xxx
TO:
Sue Ryan, ACC, CCA™
Co-Founder, The Caregiver’s Journey™
Sue Ryan and her husband were already several years into his journey with Alzheimer’s disease when the pandemic hit in 2020. Given her experience taking care of loved ones including her father and grandmother who had dementia, she naively thought she was well-equipped for this new challenge. Then Covid-created lockdowns occurred and her carefully managed system of support collapsed, just as her husband’s Covid diagnosis arrived. Already working as a coach and advocate since 2014, Sue dug deep into her wells of support and pulled through, learning and sharing as she went. It was her sharing that caught the attention of her peer in the technology world, Nancy Treaster. Together they committed to dedicating themselves and their significant acumen to the task of creating a candid and practical lifeline for caregivers. Thus, The Caregiver’s Journey was born.
In their engaging podcasts, Nancy and Sue offer solutions for caregivers facing challenging issues such as taking away car keys, safety and incontinence. By addressing these uncomfortable topics directly, they also foster a sense of community that is often difficult for caregivers to find.
Today, Sue is a change strategist, speaker, author, podcaster and executive coach who empowers caregivers and leaders to maximize their potential. With more than 40 years of experience as a business professional while also navigating a variety of caregiving roles, she guides families to become confident, balanced, and supported on their caregiving journey. She also guides businesses to navigate the global crisis of family caregiving in business so both the organization and their valued working caregivers thrive.
Sue has authored/co-authored five bestsellers, created an award-winning online course for caregivers, is a certified hospice volunteer and caregiver advocate. Sue is a professional speaker including, TEDx, DisruptHR, and Vistage International. Sue lives in Naples, Fla., where she and her husband made their home until his passing in 2023.
For more information and to view the podcasts, please visit https://thecaregiversjourney.com/ or email [email protected].
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Well, we're into a new year, 2025. What do you think so far? Are we off to a rousing start? Are any of you dreading a new year?
We've got some painful things coming our way this year and this month. And I'm not necessarily looking forward to it. Gracie certainly isn't.
But at the same time, each day is an opportunity. And each year is an opportunity.
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In his letter to the church at Rome, the Apostle Paul urged: "If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all."
Can we do this as caregivers - when it seems there is conflict around every corner?
Absolutely. In this episode, I talk about what that looks like. Plus, we have the "Caregiver Keyboard" fired up!
www.peterrosenberger.com
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From Hope for the Caregiver's Broadcast 12/21
A Block: "Then Pealed The Bells More Loud and Deep"
B Block: A Higher View of God
C Block: Caregivers and a loved one with mental illness
D. Block: Gracie- Silent Night
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From Hope for the Caregiver's broadcast 12/14/2024
A Block: Psalm 13
B Block: Angels We Have Heard On High (Caregiver Keyboard)
C Block: God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen (Let Nothing You Dismay)
D Block: Caregiver Authority
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From Hope for the Caregiver's broadcast 12/7/24
www.hopeforthecaregiver.com
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From our Radio Program 11/23/2024w
www.peterrosenberger.com
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Think of the most resilient person you know.
Now, allow me to introduce my cousin Meredith Harris to you.
Meredith recently shared her story at her church - and I was so moved and proud of her that I wanted to share it with as many people as possible. Take a listen, and I know you'll feel the same way.
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Christians are called to be salt and light in our culture, but the American church has grown apathetic in the stewardship of our rights and liberties.
On this episode of Truth Talk Live, I invited Bunni Pounds, founder and president of Christians Engaged to discuss the importance of voting and what her organization is doing to educate on this topic from a Biblical viewpoint.
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Each week I host a live program on the Truth Network that features a wide variety of topics.
This episode opens with a discussion on Forgiveness, and then my interview with Aaron Tornquist for Down syndrome Awareness Month.
- Vis mere
