Episoder
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The boys are back after a short break and oh my goodness do they have loads to catch up on. PJ got married and Kevin took himself off on honeymoon with Pádraig and to be fair they could have done with the break. The entirety of the episode is spent catch up on the antics that took place in Ibiza and the antics that took place on Inish Beg and of all the antics that took place, Kevin's mam trying to get started on people in order to secure her first tattoo probably tops the list.
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Before recording the lads spotted kids around the corner having a jumble sale and though Kevin criticises the graphic deign of their poster it still made the lads smile. To keep the joyous mood going the lads decide to take a look at some of the recent good news stories that have happened in the world because they reckon the Irish sometimes love to focus on the negative and love listening to misery.
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The lads are absolutely wrecked and it's not just because of their hangover, it's because they kayaked across the length and breadth of the Atlantic for PJ's stag. But the vibes are high because PJ had the best time and the lads share all their antics from PJ's last hoorah before he becomes Mr Kirby Galang. They then do a second edition of chaotic stag and hen stories and their thoughts are with the fella who was kidnapped and thrown into the boot of car because he loves horror movies - sure God love him.
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Kevin got new bedding during the week so of course he has to make the world aware of it and even though it's the height of summer he opted for a heavy tog duvet because he couldn't resist the luxury of it all. The theme for the week is old age and the lads discuss society's treatment of older people and how mad it is that our own mams have lived double our lives. They also have a nice chat about their nans and express their appreciation for cheeky auld ones from Cork.
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PJ is showing off his new beard whilst Kevin is complaining about toothache. But how can anyone be upset or annoyed at the world when there are adorable kids going around supermarkets with tiny trollies like how CUTE!
This week the lads are sticking to their promise of doing an entire episode dedicated to the sexiest thing to come out of the noughties; The Celtic Tiger. They discuss how it came about and its aftermath and also read out some chaotic stories of Celtic Tiger spending and there's quite an overlap with the submissions as trampolines, helicopter rides and Christmas shopping trips to New York all seemed commonplace.
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Before the days of Grindr, The Gay Cork Classifieds was where the young queer people of Cork tried to arrange discreet meets with other likeminded folk and Kevin details a drunken experience he had with a fella from Tralee. The theme for the week is gastronationalism which is the use of food and its history as a means of promoting national identity and basically it was picked for the theme because, you guessed it, PJ saw a TikTok about it and wanted to know more. They talk through all the different culinary delights of different countries but Kevin reveals he has no desire to visit Italy because a lad in primary school was going on about boiling eggs in the sand and he has also met a load of rude Italians (but has never had any issues with the French).
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Kevin is back in Cork and had a beach day with his niece who he still won't reveal the name of but shares some of the nicknames he has for her including, but not limited to, missy, dolly and baba. The lads speak about the chaos that was The Biggest Loser and Kevin reveals why he had a fear of soy sauce. The Olympics is happening in Paris and though the lads are obsessed with the Mary J Blige knockoff logo with the cunty bob, they feel conflicted about watching the games due to Israel's participation and so explore the dark side of the Olympics and the controversy that has plagues the event since it's inception. Who needs to watch the Olympics anyway when you can watch Tess do her nastics routine in the kitchen.
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The lads have just finished their last show of the UK tour and they are absolutely hanging out their hoops but the vibes are still immaculate and they are finding everything funny. This week they read out scam submissions and the girlies do not disappoint. Kevin also recollects an encounter with a girl from dance college who was a bit tapped and had an awful habit of stealing things and blaming it on someone else whenever she got nabbed.
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A very special bonus episode brought to you by NOW. The lads are joined by Louise McSharry, host of Catch Up with Louise McSharry podcast and they discuss a show that they are all obsessed with at the moment, House of the Dragon. They also discuss other iconic leading women from some of their other favourite series. Stream the new season of House of the Dragon weekly without a contract with a NOW Entertainment Membership.
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The lads start off with a special shoutout to those who are into findom as they reckon they'd be raging if they were into it. Kevin also shares details of an absolute ordeal he had at the library that made him wish printers were no longer in existence. The theme for the week is scams and the boys take a look into some of the high profile hustles that have taken place in recent years like Fyre Festival and Anna Delvey. They also talk about things that aren't exactly scams but feel like a scam like Zara sizing and hotel check-out times.
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PJ has flown to England for their show in London so of course he has a stressful airport story to tell. Meanwhile Kevin has been brushing shoulders with celebs but is mortified at the fact that he was roaring Charli XCX’s name at the top of his lungs in the thickest Cork accent ever when he was standing right in front of her during her DJ set. The lads take a look at Irish mythology and revisit all the old magical tales we were told in our school days like The Children of Lir, Tír na nÓg and The Salmon of Knowledge. Their retelling of some of the stories is definitely questionable but luckily they have Sadhbh’s notes to hand to clear up any grey areas such as whether Cú Chulainn was into pup play.
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Kevin is on an absolute rager for two reasons; he was gaslit by his taxi driver and had his coffee confiscated from him after only two sips and his landlord is after putting up the rent again. The theme for the week is the class system and the boys discuss Ireland having less rigid class structures than the UK, how primary school lunches were a good indicator of a students economic background and how they wish the Celtic Tiger, the most glam pussy to ever enter Ireland, would make a comeback.
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The lads talk about the joy of having no plans at the weekend but then discuss the absolute trauma of thinking you're the loneliest person in the world when it comes to the weekend and you do nothing. PJ shares his story about his chaotic trip to the post office to send his wedding invites which Kevin thinks look like notes kids used to pass to each other in school. The theme for the week is etiquette and of course, Kevin is loving life because he's weak for all things etiquette and of course PJ is allergic. They talk about etiquette in different countries and how they think that despite England priding themselves on their manners, everyone there is pure rude.
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The lads just witnessed a load of girlies in Cork en route to see Becky Hill and they were all done up to the nines and this prompts a discussion about the girlies from Little Mix and why they can’t seem to get their solo careers to take off. The theme for the week is languages and Kevin is delighted with life as he thinks etymology is very interesting but PJ thinks it’s snooze. They also discuss the origins of Polari, the language used by the gays in an effort to keep their lives a secret but also to reveal themselves to other friends of Dorothy.
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The pope is being messy again using the f slur and the lads have to call her out on her shenanigans. PJ says the Vatican was always homophobic because when he was there on holidays there was nowhere to get a coffee. The theme for the week is celibacy prompted by the 4B Movement in South Korea that is spreading throughout Asia and the world in which women renounce dating men, marriage, sex with men and having children. They discuss the pressure of losing your virginity and also speak about the chaotic Disney Channel purity ring era but Nick Jonas if you're listening Kevin would love to sleep with you.
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It’s the last week of the Irish tour and Kevin’s preparing to head back to London and says he’ll miss Ireland’s sandwich culture the most. The boys also express their appreciation for an artist who is essentially Cork’s answer to Banksy, who’s been going around adding googley eyes to all the campaign posters for the local and European elections. As Father’s Day approaches the lads decide to celebrate the dads who are doing the work by reading out stories of dads being allies for the LGBTQ+ community and some of the submissions have Kevin and PJ up in a heap with how cute some they are and they are still screaming at the dad who says ‘hunty’.
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The lads have just done their opening night of their tour and they're dying to catch the girlies up on how it went. The theme for the week is cults and the lads do a deep dive into what it takes for something to be a cult and the type of person likely to get indoctrinated into one. They then question whether I'm Grand Mam is a cult and decide whether they'd be cut out for the sacrificial elements of cults.
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In this episode the lads talk about their constant search for validation (even if it's in the form of a wolf whistle from a gay builder) and discuss Kevin's stint as a body double for Lewis Hamilton. They then read out some 6th year holiday horror story submissions and they want this episode to be a cautionary tale for Irish gays and girlies getting with Brits abroad; the GCSEs is the equivalent to the Junior Cert so don't be mauling young fellas.
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Listen to the songs from the Bureau de Change Song Contest: https://bureaudechangesongcontest.bandcamp.com/album/the-bureau-de-change-song-contest-volume-3 💫
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It's communion season girlies and it's all excitement in the Kirby household as Tess has finally said yes to the dress and she's gearing herself up to walk into the church purse first to slay the house of God down boots on her big day. The lads talk about their longing to have had their ears pierced for their communions like the girlies and talk about how much money they made and what they spent it on. Rumour has it Kevin still has his communion money in his post office account. They then talk about divorce, how close the results were in the divorce referendum in 1996 and how much of an eejit Just*n Barr*tt is for campaigning against it only to get divorced himself in 2017.
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Kevin starts the episode off by sharing his ordeal of dropping his phone down the back of the radiator during the week and trying to get it out for 4 hours and then PJ gets one up on him by talking about his ordeal of dropping his camera and breaking his lens which was an awful lot of money. For the theme they talk about frontal lobe development and Saturn’s Return and Kevin question’s whether his frontal lobe was already fully formed as a child because he never used to take risks and avoided bouncy castles at all costs.
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