Episoder
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This episode explores the crucial role of contact supervisors in observing and assessing parent-child interactions during supervised contact sessions. Michael talks about the importance of social workers, independent social workers, and children's guardians personally observing these sessions to form their own conclusions and assessments. It highlights the significance of parents demonstrating their ability to prioritize their child's needs, engage positively during contact, and adhere to professional guidance and boundaries.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
Observing contact sessions is crucial for professionals working with children and families to gain a better understanding of the case and form their own conclusions.
Contact observations provide only a snapshot of the parent's overall ability to care for their child, and it is essential to consider all evidence gathered from the case.
Parents should prioritise their child's needs during contact sessions, demonstrate the ability to learn from advice offered by professionals, and show consistent good enough care.
Parents need to be aware of the impact of their words and actions on their child, follow guidance and boundaries set during contact, and communicate concerns through appropriate channels.
The ultimate goal for parents during contact sessions is to ensure their child has a great time, showcasing their ability to meet their child's physical and emotional needs consistently.
BEST MOMENTS
"It is really important that you observe at least one contact prior to finalising your assessment, otherwise you place yourself in a vulnerable position when it comes to giving evidence and being cross-examined."
"Most contact sessions are 90 or 120 minutes in duration, which explains the limitations involved in placing too much weight on contact observations."
"Parents need to prove that they can understand and comply with such guidance and boundaries in the interests of their children and their court case."
"Parents need also to be advised that they need to be aware of the impact their words and actions have on their child."
"The real task for most parents, though, is to show they can meet their child's various needs on a consistent basis throughout the period in which they are being assessed."
VALUABLE RESOURCES
Instagram: michael240656
HOST BIO
Michael Watson is a qualified social worker and author with over thirty years of experience working with children and families. As an expert in family court, Michael is in a key position to assist, advise, and coach parents through their private law family proceedings and provide them with the information and skills to represent themselves successfully in court. His two books, ‘How to Represent Yourself in Family Court’, and ‘FAMILY COURT: Giving Evidence In Family Court’, provide parents with a clearer understanding of family court proceedings, legislation, and parenting skills.
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This episode delves into the complex and often misunderstood topic of self-injury. It explores how self-harm serves as a coping mechanism for individuals dealing with overwhelming emotions and distressing thoughts. The episode discusses the various functions self-harm can serve, such as expressing difficult emotions, seeking control, or managing traumatic experiences. It also highlights the signs to look out for in children and young people who may be engaging in self-harm, emphasizing the importance of recognizing and addressing these behaviours. Additionally, the episode sheds light on the underlying reasons why individuals self-harm, ranging from emotional pain and loneliness to mental health conditions and traumatic experiences.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
Self-harm is a coping mechanism for dealing with distressing thoughts and feelings, serving various functions such as expressing emotions, gaining control, or escaping traumatic memories.
Children may engage in self-harm through various methods like cutting, burning, poisoning, or over-exercising, often as a response to emotional distress or mental health challenges.
Signs of self-harm in children include wearing long sleeves, having sharp objects, emotional instability, and frequent accidental injuries.
Self-harm is associated with mental health conditions like anxiety, depression, eating disorders, and trauma, highlighting the importance of professional support.
While self-harm is more common among women, seeking help from professionals can significantly reduce the risk of suicidal thoughts and actions.
BEST MOMENTS
"Self-harm or self-injury can be described as representing a person's coping mechanism for dealing with highly upsetting and distressing thoughts and feelings."
"When a child or person injures themselves, chemicals such as endorphins and other natural painkillers are released by the brain, providing a temporal respite for the painful experiences."
"Self-harm and self-injury often go unnoticed because people who self-harm don't tend to want to draw attention to their behaviour."
"It seems there may be a number of reasons why people self-harm. What is clear is that children who do so frequently are experiencing overpowering emotional pain or distress."
"In terms of the gender most at risk of self-harm, it is said to be more common amongst women than men."
VALUABLE RESOURCES
Instagram: michael240656
HOST BIO
Michael Watson is a qualified social worker and author with over thirty years of experience working with children and families. As an expert in family court, Michael is in a key position to assist, advise, and coach parents through their private law family proceedings and provide them with the information and skills to represent themselves successfully in court. His two books, ‘How to Represent Yourself in Family Court’, and ‘FAMILY COURT: Giving Evidence In Family Court’, provide parents with a clearer understanding of family court proceedings, legislation, and parenting skills.
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Manglende episoder?
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Michael discusses the sensitive nature of parenting assessments and the necessity of asking personal and intrusive questions. He reflects on the reactions of parents when faced with such questions, highlighting the importance of understanding one's upbringing, beliefs, and experiences in relation to parenting. Overall, the episode underscores the critical role of thorough assessments in determining suitable parenting options for children in need.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
Asking personal questions during parenting assessments is necessary to understand a person's beliefs, values, and experiences.
Family life is personal, and the court needs personal information to make decisions about a child's care.
Some individuals may resist answering personal questions during assessments, indicating potential challenges in their ability to undergo a full parenting assessment.
Lack of insight and unwillingness to share personal information can lead to negative outcomes in parenting assessments.
Emotional readiness and willingness to discuss past experiences are crucial factors in determining suitability for parenting assessments.
BEST MOMENTS
"Many of the questions you have to ask when undertaking a parenting assessment are, in my view, personal and intrusive."
"People take for granted that they will love and take care of their child, but fail to see that the court does not know them at all."
"Isn't that a bit personal? But if the court are going to make decisions about where the child should be placed, don't you think they need to know all the relevant information?"
"I really think you're asking too much. It's too personal."
"His lack of insight and unwillingness to share further information provided me with the clarity I needed to reach the conclusion that the outcome of the assessment was negative."
VALUABLE RESOURCES
Instagram: michael240656
HOST BIO
Michael Watson is a qualified social worker and author with over thirty years of experience working with children and families. As an expert in family court, Michael is in a key position to assist, advise, and coach parents through their private law family proceedings and provide them with the information and skills to represent themselves successfully in court. His two books, ‘How to Represent Yourself in Family Court’, and ‘FAMILY COURT: Giving Evidence In Family Court’, provide parents with a clearer understanding of family court proceedings, legislation, and parenting skills.
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This episode provides valuable insights on how to effectively give evidence in a court setting. Michael emphasises the importance of thorough preparation, mental and emotional readiness, and maintaining control over one's nerves and emotions while in the witness box. Overall, the episode serves as a comprehensive guide on how to navigate the challenges of giving evidence in a court setting successfully.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
Thorough Preparation: Before giving evidence, it is crucial to prepare diligently both mentally and emotionally to handle the stress and pressure of the witness box.
Maintain Control: Stay in control of your nerves and emotions, and have complete faith in your ability to present your evidence effectively.
Listen Carefully: Avoid rushing to answer questions and make sure to listen fully to each question posed to provide satisfactory answers.
Stay Focused: Concentrate fully on each question, think about your response, and avoid giving unnecessary information that may compromise your position.
Professionalism: Maintain a balanced and professional demeanor, avoid getting angry or distressed, and address your answers clearly to the judge to ensure your evidence is valued highly.
BEST MOMENTS
"You cannot afford to have a poor attitude and frame of mind when giving evidence. When you enter into the witness box You should be in control of your nerves and emotions, as opposed to them being in control of you."
"Your state of mind should be such that you expect no help from anyone. You recognize you are totally alone, and have complete faith and confidence in your ability to present your evidence very well."
"Giving evidence should never involve you talking for talking's sake. When you open your mouth too freely you are likely to give away unnecessary information that may place you in difficult situations that you may live to regret later."
"The hugest mistake you can make when in the witness box is to lose control of your emotions by getting angry, agitated or distressed. When angry or agitated, you lose focus and concentration, rendering you unable to access that part of your brain that enables you to be able to think and respond appropriately and creatively."
"On a final note, it is a mistake to fail to speak up and address your answers to the judge. She or he needs to hear what you are saying at all times. So angle your head towards the judge when responding to questions and ensure you speak loud enough and in a clear manner so that the judge can hear and clearly understand you."
VALUABLE RESOURCES
Instagram: michael240656
HOST BIO
Michael Watson is a qualified social worker and author with over thirty years of experience working with children and families. As an expert in family court, Michael is in a key position to assist, advise, and coach parents through their private law family proceedings and provide them with the information and skills to represent themselves successfully in court. His two books, ‘How to Represent Yourself in Family Court’, and ‘FAMILY COURT: Giving Evidence In Family Court’, provide parents with a clearer understanding of family court proceedings, legislation, and parenting skills.
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Join Michael as he explores the disturbing reality of parents or step-parents killing their own children, shedding light on the term "filicide" and its various forms such as neonaticide and infanticide. Through research findings and expert insights, the episode explores the motives behind filicide, ranging from altruistic reasons to revenge and emphasises the importance of understanding the underlying factors to prevent future tragedies. Overall, the episode serves as a thought-provoking exploration of a tragic and sensitive topic, urging for greater awareness and prevention efforts to protect children from harm.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
On average, 58 children in the UK are killed by family members, parents, or step-parents each year, highlighting the alarming frequency of child deaths at the hands of those expected to care for them.
Filicide, the killing of one's child, is a disturbing reality that prompts questions about the motives and circumstances that lead to such heinous acts.
Mental illness plays a significant role in cases of filicide, with a study showing that 37% of perpetrators were suffering from a form of mental illness, emphasising the need for further research and understanding in this area.
Different motives for filicide include altruistic reasons, fatal abuse or ill-treatment, unwanted children, psychotic states, and revenge, shedding light on the complex psychological factors at play.
Factors such as mental health issues, relationship breakdowns, domestic violence, substance misuse, and child abuse often coincide in cases of filicide, underscoring the importance of identifying and addressing these risk factors to prevent future tragedies.
BEST MOMENTS
"I was stunned by that statistic because even as a social worker who has worked with children over many years, the frequency or rate of children being killed was conspicuous."
"Filicide refers to the killing of one's son or daughter. As a result of doing this research, I was introduced to more words that I had hitherto not known about."
"In a study involving 297 cases of convicted philicides and 45 cases of philicide suicides in England and Wales between January 1997 and December 2006, it was revealed that there was an over-representation of mental illness in cases of philicide."
"Philip J. Resnick, a well-known forensic psychiatrist, found that neonaticidal mothers are often unmarried women with unwanted pregnancies who receive no prenatal care."
"Gaining as clear a picture as possible about the circumstances, reasons and factors that lead parents to perpetrate filicide are of critical significance if we are to prevent and lessen future unnecessary child deaths."
VALUABLE RESOURCES
Instagram: michael240656
HOST BIO
Michael Watson is a qualified social worker and author with over thirty years of experience working with children and families. As an expert in family court, Michael is in a key position to assist, advise, and coach parents through their private law family proceedings and provide them with the information and skills to represent themselves successfully in court. His two books, ‘How to Represent Yourself in Family Court’, and ‘FAMILY COURT: Giving Evidence In Family Court’, provide parents with a clearer understanding of family court proceedings, legislation, and parenting skills.
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This episode explores the unexpected connection between social work and the act of selling. Michael talks about why social workers are constantly selling their beliefs and values to parents in order to advocate for the best interests of children. Drawing parallels between personal interactions and court appearances, Michael emphasises the importance of presenting oneself positively, both in attitude and appearance, to effectively influence others. Ultimately, the episode concludes by highlighting the crucial aspect of believing in oneself before attempting to sell one's beliefs to others.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
Recognise the importance of selling oneself in various aspects of life, including social work and giving evidence in court.
Present oneself in a physically presentable manner, such as dressing appropriately, to make a good impression and show respect.
Have a positive attitude and demeanour, as it can significantly impact how one is perceived before even speaking.
Be well-prepared and knowledgeable about the evidence being presented, displaying confidence and persuasiveness.
Emphasise the significance of believing in oneself and one's abilities as a crucial aspect of effectively selling oneself to others.
BEST MOMENTS
"From being someone who was quite adverse to the idea of selling, to one in which I now accept my involvement in it and in fact recognise how important selling is to the success of my role as a social worker."
"You're actually engaged in selling yourself all the time, it's just that you don't see yourself as doing so."
"Poor attitudes are like neon lights or neon signs glowing in the dark, announcing your poor disposition, thoughts and feelings."
"Attending court wearing trainers, a hoodie and a pair of jeans exposing part of your underwear does not tend to portray you in the best possible light."
"In giving great evidence at court or selling yourself well, how or the way you say it is as important, if not more so, than what you say."
VALUABLE RESOURCES
Instagram: michael240656
HOST BIO
Michael Watson is a qualified social worker and author with over thirty years of experience working with children and families. As an expert in family court, Michael is in a key position to assist, advise, and coach parents through their private law family proceedings and provide them with the information and skills to represent themselves successfully in court. His two books, ‘How to Represent Yourself in Family Court’, and ‘FAMILY COURT: Giving Evidence In Family Court’, provide parents with a clearer understanding of family court proceedings, legislation, and parenting skills.
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Join Michael in this episode as he delves into the experiences of two individuals, who faced racism and isolation in predominantly white environments. The episode highlights how their struggles with racism, lack of support, and the pressure to fit in led to feelings of anger, aggression, and a constant state of vigilance. The episode challenges the societal ignorance towards racism and the need for empathy and recognition of its pervasive nature.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
Impact of Racism: The episode highlights the significant impact of racism on individuals, particularly young black individuals, leading to feelings of isolation, aggression, and a constant need to defend oneself.
Lack of Support: Both individuals discussed in the episode felt alone in their experiences of racism, lacking support from their adoptive parents and others to discuss their struggles.
Mental Health Implications: The experiences of racism and isolation without support can negatively impact mental health, contributing to the higher rates of mental health issues among black individuals.
Expectation of Racism: The repeated experiences of racism lead individuals to expect and prepare for it, creating a constant state of anxiety and vigilance that undermines their well-being.
Persistent Wounds: Racism leaves lasting wounds that are often not addressed or resolved, leading to ongoing anger and emotional burden that individuals carry with them for years.
BEST MOMENTS
"They didn't like me because I didn't fit in. And do you know what? I didn't want to. They were picking on me because of my difference."
"I was fighting every day in school, and to be fair, I held my mum and stepdad responsible for this because I did not want to move."
"But when you fight back, you get a reputation and you don't have to do anything anyway to get hassled by the police."
"Racism is insidious. It permeates this society and many others. It survives because the whole society don't really recognise it or their part in continuing it."
VALUABLE RESOURCES
Instagram: michael240656
HOST BIO
Michael Watson is a qualified social worker and author with over thirty years of experience working with children and families. As an expert in family court, Michael is in a key position to assist, advise, and coach parents through their private law family proceedings and provide them with the information and skills to represent themselves successfully in court. His two books, ‘How to Represent Yourself in Family Court’, and ‘FAMILY COURT: Giving Evidence In Family Court’, provide parents with a clearer understanding of family court proceedings, legislation, and parenting skills.
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This episode delves into the importance and intricacies of creating a chronological list of events in a child's life. Michael emphasises the significance of a well-constructed chronology in providing a clear understanding of a family's history and dynamics. The episode discusses the role of a social worker in highlighting both the strengths and weaknesses of parenting, using the chronology as a tool to support evidence and arguments. It also explores how different perspectives and biases can influence the interpretation of events documented in a chronology. The episode underscores the impact of past experiences on an individual's present behaviour and identity, emphasising the need to consider significant events such as trauma, loss, and violence in family life.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
Chronologies are crucial: Chronologies are essential documents that provide a clear picture of a family's history and can help in understanding the events that have occurred over time.
Balanced view is important: It is important to provide a balanced view in a chronology, highlighting both the weaknesses and strengths of parenting to give a fair representation of the situation.
Impact of past events: Chronologies help in understanding how past events and experiences shape an individual's present and future, emphasising the significance of events like births, deaths, and illnesses.
Significance of violent incidents: Violent incidents between adults, especially when witnessed by children, should be carefully documented in a chronology to understand their impact and the response of parents.
Importance of social care response: A good chronology not only focuses on the actions of parents but also highlights the behaviour of social care agencies and their impact on the child's lived experience.
BEST MOMENTS
"A chronology can be defined as a sequential list of events with dates recording any significant facts and changes in a child's life."
"History, for example, is written from the focus of the values and beliefs of the person who wrote it."
"Chronologies are really useful tools in helping to look at a child's lived experience because they can show what a child has been exposed to dating as far back into their life as their first few weeks of life."
"Many people still today tend to think of the past as not having any impact on who they are now."
"One of the things that chronology is very useful at bringing to light is the response by social care."
VALUABLE RESOURCES
Instagram: michael240656
HOST BIO
Michael Watson is a qualified social worker and author with over thirty years of experience working with children and families. As an expert in family court, Michael is in a key position to assist, advise, and coach parents through their private law family proceedings and provide them with the information and skills to represent themselves successfully in court. His two books, ‘How to Represent Yourself in Family Court’, and ‘FAMILY COURT: Giving Evidence In Family Court’, provide parents with a clearer understanding of family court proceedings, legislation, and parenting skills.
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This episode delves into the concept of assessing and managing risks in various aspects of life, using the analogy of crossing a busy road without a pedestrian crossing. The episode highlights how individuals often underestimate risks due to factors they cannot see or control, drawing parallels to parents who may pose risks to their children. It discusses the importance of considering factors such as a parent's history, level of insight, and support networks in determining the potential harm a child may face.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
Risk assessment is crucial in everyday situations, such as crossing a road, as unseen factors can significantly increase the level of risk.
Parents with a history of adverse childhood experiences may pose a higher risk to their children due to normalised harmful behaviours.
Lack of insight and denial of personal issues can lead parents to expose their children to considerable harm.
Identifying and evaluating a parent's strengths, such as a strong attachment to their child or a supportive network, is essential in assessing the risks they pose.
Balancing a parent's weaknesses and strengths, along with considering hidden or unknown factors, is necessary to determine the level of risk a child may face.
BEST MOMENTS
"When crossing a road, there are vehicles you can see and vehicles or situations you cannot. You cannot accurately take into account things you cannot see or quantify."
"Parents who pose a major risk of harm to their children are often not in full control of themselves and tend to be in denial concerning the extent of their problems."
"One of the first matters to consider when attempting to analyse the risks posed by a parent is their history."
"If parents do not recognise that they have shortcomings in certain areas, they are then poorly motivated to make changes in their life to address this shortcoming."
"Balancing their overall weaknesses and strengths contributing to a child's care is a task that needs to be carefully and thoroughly considered."
VALUABLE RESOURCES
Instagram: michael240656
HOST BIO
Michael Watson is a qualified social worker and author with over thirty years of experience working with children and families. As an expert in family court, Michael is in a key position to assist, advise, and coach parents through their private law family proceedings and provide them with the information and skills to represent themselves successfully in court. His two books, ‘How to Represent Yourself in Family Court’, and ‘FAMILY COURT: Giving Evidence In Family Court’, provide parents with a clearer understanding of family court proceedings, legislation, and parenting skills.
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This episode delves into the challenges individuals face when giving evidence in court, particularly focusing on the daunting experience of being cross-examined. Michael talks about how to manage emotions, listen attentively, and respond effectively to questions while maintaining composure and credibility. The episode underscores the necessity of practising the skills required to present coherent and persuasive evidence in a highly adversarial courtroom environment.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
Giving great evidence in court requires thorough preparation and understanding of the case to be able to speak authoritatively.
It is crucial to manage and control emotions while in the witness box to maintain composure and credibility.
Active listening is essential to provide concise and relevant answers to questions asked during cross-examination.
Displaying poise, balance, and a positive attitude throughout the process can help in delivering persuasive evidence.
Utilising examples, statistics, and patterns of behaviour can strengthen arguments and clarify points for the court.
BEST MOMENTS
"Many people struggle with giving evidence because they don't understand that the process is designed to be difficult and that the court is, for lay people, an alien environment that no one except legal people feel comfortable with."
"The words conflict and criticism are for me now synonymous with the court. never used to be, but they are now because I have been to court enough times to know, without doubt, that the court is a highly adversarial environment."
"You have to know about and be prepared for angles of attack. Those cross-examining you, and including the judges, are likely to focus on, be critical about, and question you in connection with."
"Controlling emotions is critical to the way you come across and portray yourself in the witness box. You cannot allow anything to hijack your emotions, undermine your belief in yourself, or impair your positive attitude."
"Using percentages or ratios provides the court with a clear mental picture of what has been going on. Above all else display a great attitude consistently regardless of how the barristers may treat you."
VALUABLE RESOURCES
Instagram: michael240656
HOST BIO
Michael Watson is a qualified social worker and author with over thirty years of experience working with children and families. As an expert in family court, Michael is in a key position to assist, advise, and coach parents through their private law family proceedings and provide them with the information and skills to represent themselves successfully in court. His two books, ‘How to Represent Yourself in Family Court’, and ‘FAMILY COURT: Giving Evidence In Family Court’, provide parents with a clearer understanding of family court proceedings, legislation, and parenting skills.
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This episode provides valuable insights on how to effectively answer difficult questions, particularly in a court setting. Michael emphasises the importance of being in a balanced state of mind, actively listening to questions, and taking the time to formulate thoughtful responses. Practical tips such as acknowledging errors, providing context for actions, and being honest when unsure are also discussed. Overall, the episode offers a comprehensive guide on handling difficult questions with composure and clarity, making it a valuable resource for anyone facing challenging questioning situations.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
Practice being in a calm emotional state to maintain serenity and not let external actions affect you.
Listen carefully to the entire question before answering, to ensure a proper response.
Take your time when answering questions, think about your response, and speak only what you intend to say.
Preparation and practice in answering questions from different angles are crucial for success.
When faced with a question you don't know the answer to, it's better to admit it honestly rather than attempting to provide a false answer.
BEST MOMENTS
"Listening is a key skill in so many areas of your life. When your capacity to listen is impaired, of course you do not hear properly, or you mishear, misread or misinterpret whatever is being asked of you."
"Questions are difficult when they come from an angle you had not expected or highlight an area which is totally new to you or unfamiliar to you."
"It is better to take your time and answer the question properly than fail to answer it by answering it poorly and placing yourself in problems because you rushed in due to worrying about taking too long to respond."
"A tip in answering questions is to be like water. In other words, go with the flow. Unless you have a good or strong reason to challenge or deny any assertion, then make sure, if you do deny or disagree with what's being said, that you can back up your argument with supporting evidence."
"Never lie when answering questions. I hope you really enjoyed this episode and got a great deal out of it. Thank you very much for listening."
VALUABLE RESOURCES
Instagram: michael240656
HOST BIO
Michael Watson is a qualified social worker and author with over thirty years of experience working with children and families. As an expert in family court, Michael is in a key position to assist, advise, and coach parents through their private law family proceedings and provide them with the information and skills to represent themselves successfully in court. His two books, ‘How to Represent Yourself in Family Court’, and ‘FAMILY COURT: Giving Evidence In Family Court’, provide parents with a clearer understanding of family court proceedings, legislation, and parenting skills.
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This episode delves into the impact of parents using their children as tools for control, punishment, and negotiation. The episode highlights how some parents, with unmet needs from their own upbringing, prioritise their own desires over their children's well-being. Through a detailed narrative, the episode explores a harrowing case where a child is subjected to emotional abuse and manipulation by one parent, leading to long-term emotional damage and the need for therapeutic support.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
Children are highly dependent on parents and caregivers for various needs such as attention, affection, guidance, and security.
Parents with unmet needs, due to their own upbringing, may struggle to provide adequate care for their children, leading to harmful behaviors.
Using children as bargaining tools or weapons in conflicts between parents can have long-lasting negative effects on the child's emotional development.
Court systems may not always fully grasp the impact of one parent's harmful actions on the child during private law proceedings.
Children who are subjected to intentional conflict and abuse by one parent may require therapeutic support to address their unmet needs and emotional trauma.
BEST MOMENTS
"Children are very vulnerable and highly dependent on parents and caregivers throughout the many years of their childhood."
"Parents with unmet needs may, for example, have mental health difficulties, possibly because they were parented in an environment where they were never provided with the safety they needed to feel safe and protected."
"Some parents compound their lack of insight by going further and putting conditions on the circumstances under which the child will see the other parent."
"In choosing this course of action, no consideration was given to the damage the child was going to be subjected to, or the long-term impact that a child growing up in this type of environment was likely to experience."
"Parents who use their children to negotiate more favourable deals for themselves, influence the actions of others, or as a means to inflict pain on others, are primarily focused on their own needs, and in the pursuit of doing so, cannot help but produce considerable harm that will likely rear itself in some stage in their child's future."
VALUABLE RESOURCES
[email protected]
Instagram: michael240656HOST BIO
Michael Watson is a qualified social worker and author with over thirty years of experience working with children and families. As an expert in family court, Michael is in a key position to assist, advise, and coach parents through their private law family proceedings and provide them with the information and skills to represent themselves successfully in court. His two books, ‘How to Represent Yourself in Family Court’, and ‘FAMILY COURT: Giving Evidence In Family Court’, provide parents with a clearer understanding of family court proceedings, legislation, and parenting skills. -
This episode delves into the crucial skill of persuasion and its significance in various aspects of life, particularly in social work and legal settings. Michael emphasises the importance of building trust with clients by demonstrating competence and genuine care. He highlights the power of listening, valuing others, and showing warmth and enthusiasm to establish meaningful connections.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
Building Trust: Before trying to persuade others, it is crucial to develop a relationship based on trust. This involves demonstrating competence and genuine care.
Active Listening: Taking the time to listen to others, value their experiences, and empathize consistently is essential in building trust and understanding.
Show Warmth and Enthusiasm: Displaying genuine warmth, enthusiasm, and interest towards others can help build positive relationships and influence them effectively.
Avoid Criticism: Instead of arguing or criticising, find common ground with others and provide reasons for them to consider your suggestions without making them feel wrong or judged.
Self-Criticism and Learning: Acknowledging mistakes openly, being self-critical, and showing a willingness to learn from errors can positively influence others' perceptions of your character and credibility.
BEST MOMENTS
"People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care."
"Your time is your most valuable asset or resource, so taking the time to listen to another is an indication of how much you value them."
"Instead of arguing, blaming or criticising anyone, if you want to stand a chance of positively influencing them... find things you agree on with them."
"Your ability to listen clearly to the questions is vital because if you don't pay attention to the questions, you won't be able to satisfactorily answer them."
"Having a great attitude throughout your time in the witness box and whilst in court and outside of it is key to how you present in a positive manner at court."
VALUABLE RESOURCES
Instagram: michael240656
HOST BIO
Michael Watson is a qualified social worker and author with over thirty years of experience working with children and families. As an expert in family court, Michael is in a key position to assist, advise, and coach parents through their private law family proceedings and provide them with the information and skills to represent themselves successfully in court. His two books, ‘How to Represent Yourself in Family Court’, and ‘FAMILY COURT: Giving Evidence In Family Court’, provide parents with a clearer understanding of family court proceedings, legislation, and parenting skills.
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This episode talks about the crucial concept of being well-attuned to a child's emotional needs and feelings, emphasising the profound impact it has on their development. Through a detailed exploration of a case involving a young mother with a traumatic past, the episode highlights how a lack of attunement can lead to significant harm and distress for the child. The narrative underscores the importance of parents being present, empathetic, and understanding towards their children, as this forms the foundation for building strong attachments and fostering a healthy upbringing. .
KEY TAKEAWAYS
Attunement is crucial in parenting, as it involves tuning in and connecting with a child on an emotional level, providing understanding, validation, and support.
Parents who are well attuned to their children's emotional needs and thoughts are more likely to build strong attachments and positively impact their children's mental health.
Lack of attunement can lead to emotional harm and distress in children, as seen in the case of a mother who struggled to connect with her son due to her own childhood experiences.
Being attuned to a child's emotions, thoughts, and needs is essential for effective parenting and sets the foundation for a child's well-being and development.
Consistently providing well-attuned parenting positively impacts a child's life trajectory and is a crucial skill for parents to develop and exercise.
BEST MOMENTS
"When a parent or an adult is able to understand what's going on for a child and can accurately describe how a child thinks and feels, we can say that that adult is well attuned to the child."
"Parents who lack the capacity to be well attuned to the needs, wishes and feelings of their children are often lacking in insight and consumed or focused on their own issues."
"It appears she thought this way because her abuser, a family member, had told her that her grandmother and mother would kill her, and she had believed it."
"Being attuned to your child's emotions, thoughts and needs, and being able to act consistently in accordance with those needs is one of the most important skills you can develop and exercise as a parent."
VALUABLE RESOURCES
Instagram: michael240656
HOST BIO
Michael Watson is a qualified social worker and author with over thirty years of experience working with children and families. As an expert in family court, Michael is in a key position to assist, advise, and coach parents through their private law family proceedings and provide them with the information and skills to represent themselves successfully in court. His two books, ‘How to Represent Yourself in Family Court’, and ‘FAMILY COURT: Giving Evidence In Family Court’, provide parents with a clearer understanding of family court proceedings, legislation, and parenting skills.
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In this episode, Michael explores the essential aspects of building positive relationships with families as a social worker. He stresses the importance of understanding the factors that can influence a family's perception of social workers and how to address any preconceived notions or negative experiences. The episode provides valuable insights on fostering trust, communication, empathy, and consistency in interactions with parents and families. It highlights the significance of genuine interest, active listening, empathy, and offering support to create meaningful connections.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
Building a positive working relationship with parents and families involves addressing preconceived notions and negative perceptions early on.
Demonstrating transparency, honesty, and consistency in actions and attitude is crucial for gaining trust and fostering a cooperative relationship.
Actively listening, showing empathy, and treating individuals with dignity and respect are essential components of effective communication and relationship-building.
Offering value through time, praise, encouragement, advice, and a positive attitude can help differentiate oneself and strengthen the bond with parents and families.
Remembering special occasions, names, and stories, and approaching conversations with a focus on the individual's needs and desires can further enhance the relationship and support provided.
BEST MOMENTS
"Social workers are involved with instigating care proceedings as a last-ditch method to ensure the child's safety and well-being."
"Developing a positive working relationship with a child and parent depends upon many factors, some of which may have nothing to do with you."
"One of the fastest ways to get people to dislike you and create enmity is to criticise another and tell them that they are wrong."
"Be genuinely interested in them and their life. People, even under unpleasant situations, like to know that they have the attention and interest of others."
"Remember their stories and experiences too. People's experiences influence them and can make them who they become."
VALUABLE RESOURCES
Instagram: michael240656
HOST BIO
Michael Watson is a qualified social worker and author with over thirty years of experience working with children and families. As an expert in family court, Michael is in a key position to assist, advise, and coach parents through their private law family proceedings and provide them with the information and skills to represent themselves successfully in court. His two books, ‘How to Represent Yourself in Family Court’, and ‘FAMILY COURT: Giving Evidence In Family Court’, provide parents with a clearer understanding of family court proceedings, legislation, and parenting skills.
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Michael delves into the challenges faced by child social workers when dealing with highly demanding and emotionally consuming cases. The episode highlights the story of a 15-year-old boy named Craig, who had a traumatic upbringing and exhibited aggressive and violent behaviour. Despite efforts to find suitable placements for Craig, his behaviour continued to pose challenges, leading to frequent changes in his living arrangements. It sheds light on the difficult decisions social workers must make in prioritizing cases and providing the necessary support to children and families in need.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
Challenging Cases Monopolise Time: One or two highly challenging cases can consume most, if not all, of a social worker's time, regardless of the caseload size.
Limited Resources: Social workers must make daily decisions on how to allocate limited resources to provide the most appropriate services to children and families in need.
Complex Trauma: Cases like Craig's highlight the impact of complex trauma on a child's behaviour and the challenges in finding suitable placements to meet their needs.
Attention to High-Risk Cases: Social workers tend to focus on cases that pose the highest risk or demand the most attention, potentially leaving other urgent cases with less immediate attention.
Discretion in Time Management: Social workers have discretion in how they spend their time, often prioritising cases based on perceived risk and urgency, despite the desire to provide equitable support to all cases.
BEST MOMENTS
"No matter how small or large your caseload, you probably know from experience that you only need one or two highly challenging time and emotionally consuming cases to monopolise most, if not all, of your time."
"Despite this reality, you still have to strive to ensure that you give each case the necessary attention, thought and consideration that each case deserves."
"A case that springs to my mind involved a 15-year-old boy who I refer to as Craig. Craig was one of the most traumatised and dysregulated young men who I have ever come across."
"The frustrating thing is that the nature of some cases leaves you with no choice other than focusing on them and this is all the more likely when the case is in care proceedings."
"As a social worker, you have quite a bit of discretion concerning how you spend your time most constructively. But apart from what you are instructed to do by your manager or managers, your attention will tend to centre on who you perceive to be most at risk and who screams the loudest."
VALUABLE RESOURCES
Instagram: michael240656
HOST BIO
Michael Watson is a qualified social worker and author with over thirty years of experience working with children and families. As an expert in family court, Michael is in a key position to assist, advise, and coach parents through their private law family proceedings and provide them with the information and skills to represent themselves successfully in court. His two books, ‘How to Represent Yourself in Family Court’, and ‘FAMILY COURT: Giving Evidence In Family Court’, provide parents with a clearer understanding of family court proceedings, legislation, and parenting skills.
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Join Michael as he delves into the challenges and risks faced by social workers working with children and vulnerable individuals. Through personal experiences, Michael highlights the potential consequences of complaints lodged against social workers, shedding light on the impact such accusations can have on one's career and well-being. Michael emphasises the importance of self-care and resilience in the face of adversity. He urges social workers to prioritise their own mental and emotional health amidst the demanding nature of their profession.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
Importance of Self-Care: The episode highlights the crucial role of self-care for social workers, emphasising that taking care of oneself is essential to effectively caring for others.
Risks and Challenges: Michael discusses the various risks and challenges associated with working in social care, including the potential for complaints and the impact they can have on a social worker's career.
Impact of Complaints: The episode shares Michael's personal experiences, illustrating how complaints from clients or families can lead to significant consequences, such as contract termination or investigations.
Mental Health Awareness: Michael raises awareness about mental health issues, showcasing how parents' mental health can influence their interactions with social workers and the care they provide to their children.
Need for Boundaries: The episode underscores the importance of setting boundaries and maintaining professionalism, especially when faced with challenging situations or hostile attitudes from clients.
BEST MOMENTS
"Your involvement saves lives, but also offers a child a better standard of care."
"Undertaking this work is associated with risks, including complaints that could jeopardise your livelihood."
"I was frankly astonished that I could lose a contract under such spurious allegations."
"The complaints were not substantiated, but the threat of potential loss of livelihood lingered for a year."
"In looking back on that case, it was one of the most unpleasant cases I've experienced."
VALUABLE RESOURCES
Instagram: michael240656
HOST BIO
Michael Watson is a qualified social worker and author with over thirty years of experience working with children and families. As an expert in family court, Michael is in a key position to assist, advise, and coach parents through their private law family proceedings and provide them with the information and skills to represent themselves successfully in court. His two books, ‘How to Represent Yourself in Family Court’, and ‘FAMILY COURT: Giving Evidence In Family Court’, provide parents with a clearer understanding of family court proceedings, legislation, and parenting skills.
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Michael addresses the pervasive issue of physical violence, intimidation, and abuse faced by social care workers. Join Michael as he passionately advocates for the prioritisation of self-care among social workers, emphasising the need for proper training, support, and protection in the face of violent situations. He urges social workers to report incidents of abuse, seek necessary support, and push for systemic changes to ensure their safety and well-being.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
Violence in Social Work: The prevalence of violence, intimidation, and abuse towards social care workers is a significant issue that needs urgent attention. Social workers face physical and verbal abuse, highlighting the need for change in how these situations are handled.
Statistics on Violence: Shocking statistics reveal the alarming frequency of attacks on social care workers, with a social care worker being attacked every 30 minutes in the UK. The high percentage of social workers experiencing assault, harassment, or verbal abuse underscores the severity of the problem.
Impact on Social Workers: Exposure to violence in social care work leads to decreased job satisfaction, increased stress levels, and feelings of vulnerability among workers. The consequences of client violence extend beyond the individual, affecting overall well-being and contributing to staff shortages.
Need for Training and Support: A lack of training in dealing with violent individuals or situations leaves social workers ill-equipped to handle challenging circumstances. It is crucial for social care agencies to prioritise training, support, and protection for workers to ensure their safety and well-being.
Call to Action: Employers and society at large must take a more active role in safeguarding social care workers. Encouraging reporting of abuse, providing adequate training, and implementing safety measures are essential steps to address the issue of violence in social work and protect those who dedicate their lives to helping others.
BEST MOMENTS
"Violence and the threat of violence should not be tolerated in any way."
"Social workers routinely attend visits on their own, walking into risky and dangerous situations unprotected."
"Many social workers didn't report incidents of abuse to the authorities because they believed abuse was just part of the job."
"Fear or feeling vulnerable was found to be a significant consequence of client violence."
"The time has come for employers and wider society to assume a far greater role in keeping social care workers safe."
VALUABLE RESOURCES
Instagram: michael240656
HOST BIO
Michael Watson is a qualified social worker and author with over thirty years of experience working with children and families. As an expert in family court, Michael is in a key position to assist, advise, and coach parents through their private law family proceedings and provide them with the information and skills to represent themselves successfully in court. His two books, ‘How to Represent Yourself in Family Court’, and ‘FAMILY COURT: Giving Evidence In Family Court’, provide parents with a clearer understanding of family court proceedings, legislation, and parenting skills.
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Join Michael in this episode as he talks about the realities and challenges of being a social worker. Michael emphasises the need for self-care as a means of coping with the demands of the job and talks about the skills you need to work on to help manage the stress.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
Vital Skills Not Taught at School: Crucial skills like decision-making, influencing others, and managing relationships that are often overlooked in traditional education.
Importance of Self-Relationship: The relationship one has with oneself impacts productivity, self-esteem, and overall well-being.
Urgent Need for Self-Care in Social Work: There are high levels of stress, violence, and mental health challenges faced by social workers, prioritising self-care is essential.
Challenges Faced by Social Workers: There needs to be a shift in societal perception and increased support for these essential professionals.
Empowerment Through Self-Care: Social workers must prioritise their well-being, set boundaries, and value themselves, self-care can lead to better outcomes in their work and personal lives.
BEST MOMENTS
"The decisions we make in life are key to our success or lack of it."
"Your ability to manage your various relationships in life is of inestimable value."
"Your thoughts, feelings, and self-talk are critical to how you feel about you."
"The responsibility for taking care of your health and well-being always rests solely with you."
"Social workers are trying to save vulnerable people's lives and promote their health, safety, and well-being."
VALUABLE RESOURCES
Instagram: michael240656
HOST BIO
Michael Watson is a qualified social worker and author with over thirty years of experience working with children and families. As an expert in family court, Michael is in a key position to assist, advise, and coach parents through their private law family proceedings and provide them with the information and skills to represent themselves successfully in court. His two books, ‘How to Represent Yourself in Family Court’, and ‘FAMILY COURT: Giving Evidence In Family Court’, provide parents with a clearer understanding of family court proceedings, legislation, and parenting skills.
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Michael explores the challenges faced by professionals in identifying and addressing child abuse and neglect. Drawing from personal experiences as a children's guardian, Michael highlights cases where reports and referrals about children's welfare were not substantiated, leading to continued harm. The episode focuses on a specific case involving a mother, her son Kay, and their tumultuous journey through various care arrangements. Michael reflects on the missed signs and clues that could have prevented the ongoing harm to Kay and his siblings. This thought-provoking episode emphasises the importance of thorough assessments, reflection, and awareness in safeguarding children's well-being.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
Comprehensive parenting assessments can sometimes miss important clues and signs of harm to children if professionals are too focused on specific evidence.
Professionals may fail to substantiate genuine reports and referrals about the care children are exposed to, allowing harm to continue.
Parents and caregivers may present a picture that satisfies professionals' concerns, but they may lack insight into the harm they are causing due to their own childhood experiences.
The case of Kay and his mother highlights the importance of reflecting on gathered information and being attuned to signs of abuse and neglect.
Professionals need to prioritise safeguarding and not overlook concerns or close cases prematurely.
BEST MOMENTS
"Almost routinely these referrals were investigated, but found to be unsubstantiated, resulting in the child or children remaining in environments and circumstances which it was discovered, often years later, were extremely harmful to them."
"The frustrating thing was, I was always left with the feeling that surely this could have been prevented. but the parent and family had clearly chosen to do their best to pull the wool over the professional's eyes and had often been successful at doing so, albeit at the expense of their child's health and well-being."
"It was clear to me that she loved Kay, felt guilty about not caring for him and wanted to, but after only a few questions admitted she was not able to meet his needs."
"This case highlighted for me how professionals, given the pressures of the work they are engaged in, and given their finite resources, can and often are persuaded by parents to accept that children are being adequately cared for when they are not."
"Missing clues and signs is something that as human beings we are all capable of doing. The willingness and ability to reflect on information gathered is thus of crucial importance to safeguarding and meeting the needs of children."
VALUABLE RESOURCES
Instagram: michael240656
HOST BIO
Michael Watson is a qualified social worker and author with over thirty years of experience working with children and families. As an expert in family court, Michael is in a key position to assist, advise, and coach parents through their private law family proceedings and provide them with the information and skills to represent themselves successfully in court. His two books, ‘How to Represent Yourself in Family Court’, and ‘FAMILY COURT: Giving Evidence In Family Court’, provide parents with a clearer understanding of family court proceedings, legislation, and parenting skills.
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