Episoder

  • Are you confused about whether to sell or stay in your home?

    In my workshops and private sessions, I often attract people who are struggling with selling or staying in their home. Our homes have such a major impact on the quality of our lives that it makes sense how difficult this decision is.

    As Iā€™ve listened to peopleā€™s stories, Iā€™ve found a common thread to the struggle. The ego points out all the reasons to sell when your soul calls you to stay. Or, your ego convinces you to stay when your soul is itching to leave. Unfortunately, it can be very difficult to distinguish between the voice of your ego versus your soul. When this happens, itā€™s important to tune into your soulā€™s purpose for this time in your life.

    Look at your house from that lens and ask if your house supports you in living that purpose. If your home supports your purpose, stay until your purpose or something about your home changes. If your house doesnā€™t support your purpose, then it may be time go or it may be time to make changes to your home or decor, so it does feed your soul.

    While figuring this out may sound easy, it rarely is. If you need help hearing if your soul is calling you to stay or go, Iā€™d love to talk with you. Just click the link to schedule a free 30-minute call.

    In future episodes, weā€™ll explore specific situations where the choice to stay or go can be difficult starting with when itā€™s time for adult children to leave their parentā€™s house.

    Until next week, I wish you well on your journey.

  • Is the Declaration of Independence soulful?

    In honor of Independence Day today, letā€™s look at the Declaration of Independence from a Soulā€™s HomeĀ® perspective. Community is an important Soulā€™s HomeĀ® ingredient and the Declaration of Independence is the foundation upon which this community of America was built. But does the Declaration of Independence have soul?

    When it was written in 1776, the 13 American colonies were controlled by Britainā€™s King George III who imposed military rule, restricted trade, and collected taxes without representation or protection of life, liberty or property. One could say that the ego of King George III attempted to overrule the souls of the colonists.

    The most famous line of the Declaration of Independence ā€œā€¦that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.ā€ shows a refusal to allow a government to quash the souls of its people. It is this notion that our Creator gives us all the right to be free and live to pursue our happiness that is the essence of the Journey to Your Soulā€™s HomeĀ®.

    Here in America, wherever you choose to live, you are free to connect with your soul because your right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness is protected by your government. Okay, yes! I acknowledge that this is not always true and that when the founding fathers said, ā€œall men are created equalā€™, they did not include women, native Americans or slaves. While these omissions were not soulful, the work that was done to create a government that was by the people and for the people allows for a course correction over time.

    Most days, we take our rights for granted and give little thought to others in countries that inhibit their people from living their soulā€™s purpose. But today, letā€™s appreciate the opportunity we have to live soulful lives in our American community and register our wish for everyone around the world to be able to do the same.

    If you feel moved, write about this below because sharing is good for your soul. Next time, weā€™ll ask, ā€œWhat gives you the right to own land?ā€

    Until next week, I wish you well on your journey.

  • Manglende episoder?

    Klik her for at forny feed.

  • Does your dĆ©cor reflect your spiritual purpose or is it keeping you stuck?

    A couple of months ago, I was spinning the wheels on my business and problem solving was going nowhere. Then, I remembered my fatherā€™s advice about getting stuck in the snow, ā€œSpinning your wheels digs you in deeper making it hard to get out. Instead rock back and forth until you can move forward.ā€

    Thatā€™s the same way the Journey to Your Soulā€™s HomeĀ® works. You shift your focus back and forth between your purpose and your home to move forward. It was time to shift my focus to my home.

    When weā€™d last decorated, the spiritual purpose of our home was to maintain a connection with Ericā€™s children through their college years, re-align our marriage to an empty nest and develop my Journey to Your Soulā€™s HomeĀ®. With three kids in college and my business just starting, we chose not to spend a lot of time or money decorating. I hung art from my single years even though Eric didnā€™t like it and put pictures of the kids everywhere so weā€™d feel connected to them. But now the spiritual purpose of our lives is different.

    The kids are mostly independent but well connected to us, our marriage is stronger than ever and Iā€™m confident in my Soulā€™s HomeĀ® approach. The new spiritual purpose of our home is to enjoy our strong marital union and use it to support each other in our work. But our home didnā€™t reflect that. It felt stuck in time and I felt like a fraud. How could I teach anyone how to have a Soulā€™s HomeĀ® if I didnā€™t?

    In the coming weeks, Iā€™ll share how we fixed that! In the meantime, if you need my help hearing if your soul is calling you to re-decorate or move, Iā€™d love to talk with you. Just click Contact Me to get in touch.

    Until next week, I wish you well on your journey.

  • Got pesky household members?

    Last week, we applied the three choices you always have to things you donā€™t like about your house. But what if the thing you donā€™t like is a pesky household member? Letā€™s face it. Itā€™s hard to live with other people! Heck, sometimes I find it hard to live with myself!

    So, letā€™s use the three choices to turn pesky household members into pleasures. Should you:

    1. Live with it

    2. Lobby for change

    3. Leave

    First, think about your soulā€™s purpose for the short term ā€“ what I call the little p. If you need help figuring out your little p, check out Episode 05.

    Once you know your little p, ask if ā€œliving with itā€ makes sense. For example, is your soul is calling you to focus on something outside of the pesky relationship for now, say, a project at work or finishing school or caring for someone else? If it is, unless the pesky person is stopping you from focusing on this, your soul may be calling you to live with the pesky person, as is, until your other calling is complete.

    But if your soul is calling you to address this pesky relationship, you are left with two choices: lobby for change or leave. Today, leave is often the go-to choice. And leave makes sense if thereā€™s physical abuse for example. But for your garden variety pests, your soul will likely call you to try lobbying for change first.

    ā€œOh, darn you, soul! It would be so much easier to leave or ask them to leave!ā€ And maybe you will be called to leave eventually. But for now, if your soul is calling you to lobby for change there is spiritual purpose in your home and your relationship so lobbying for change will feed your soul.

    ā€œGood!ā€ You say, ā€œNow, I can tell that pesky person what they should do.ā€ Not so fast. The choice to lobby for change in a relationship has two components. First, look within yourself to clarify the outcome you want and acknowledge how you need to change. Only then can you lovingly explain to your pesky person what you need from them and why itā€™s important to you.

    As difficult as it may be, youā€™ll have the most success if you avoid blaming, listen fully and expect to repeat this process several times. This is all easy to say but I know from experience, very difficult to do. If you ever meet my husband, heā€™ll confirm that Iā€™m not always great at this.

    My wish for you is that the two of you grow spiritually through this process. If you feel moved, write about this below because sharing is good for your soul. Next time weā€™ll talk about: A Cat That Saved A Life.

    Until next week, I wish you well on your journey.

  • Do you have so much to do that you have no idea what to do?

    I often feel like I have way too much to do. If youā€™re overwhelmed too, hereā€™s a simple cure for the, ā€œIā€™ve got too much to doā€ blues. It starts with the belief that thereā€™s always enough time to do everything your soul wants you to do. Think about it ā€“ your soul wants you to live your most authentic life and if youā€™ve always got too much to do, that just canā€™t happen. You need spaces in-between to hear your soul. But it can be tricky to know WHAT your soul wants you to do, so letā€™s break it down into three simple steps.

    First, write a list of everything you think you should do. Second, find a quiet spot to connect with your soul. Start with the first item and ask your soul if it wants you to do it ā€“ yes? no? Or maybe so? If you need help hearing your soul check out Episode 03. If you donā€™t get a clear yes or no, itā€™s a maybe ā€“ which means ā€œno for nowā€. Write Y, N, or M next to the item and move on to the next one.

    Iā€™m typically relieved and surprised by all that my soul removes from my plate. But donā€™t stop here. The third step is to ask your soul when it wants you to do each ā€œYesā€. You can focus on short term or longer term. For short term ask, ā€œWhat do you want me to do now?ā€ and see which item you feel called to do. After youā€™ve completed it or reached a natural break, go back to the Yesses and ask again, ā€œWhat do you want me to do now?ā€ For longer term ask, ā€œDo you want me to do this, this week or later?ā€ You can substitute this week with today, this month or this year. Whenever you feel overwhelmed, go back to the first step. Donā€™t worry if you havenā€™t finished all the Yesses, if theyā€™re still a yes, theyā€™ll show up again.

    I hope that this will cure your ā€œIā€™ve got too much to doā€ blues. If you feel moved, write about this below because sharing is good for your soul. Next time, weā€™ll talk about whether youā€™re a product of Nature or Nurture.

    Until next week, I wish you well on your journey.

  • Can your troubles help you find purpose in life?

    Last week, we talked about focusing on your soulā€™s purpose in order to stay balanced during lifeā€™s ups and downs. But what if you donā€™t know what your purpose is? Likely, youā€™ll find it in your troubles.

    Letā€™s transcend your troubles by leveraging them to find purpose. Times of turmoil are fertile grounds for discovering purpose because by experiencing what you donā€™t want, you can clarify what you do want and are more motivated to get it.

    Unfortunately, this opportunity is often missed because the ego fixates on our suffering, ruminates on what we donā€™t want, and becomes wistful about the past.

    Rather than engaging our soul to springboard from our troubles into a meaningful life by envisioning a positive future, our ego wants to spiral us deeper into despair. Instead, engage your soul to focus on what you want. Recall a time that you or someone you know transcended an obstacle by turning it into an opportunity. Use that memory to inspire you to do the same.

    So what does all this have to do with Soulā€™s HomeĀ®? The foundation of Soulā€™s HomeĀ® is knowing your short term or longā€“term purpose so you can set up your home to help you live that purpose.

    I hope youā€™ll be able to leverage your troubles to find meaning and create a home that supports you in living a meaningful life. If you want help finding meaning in your life and in your home, check out the link to the Soulā€™s HomeĀ® Alignment DIY.

    Next time weā€™ll ask, ā€œIs your home an investment?ā€. Until next week, I wish you well on your journey.

  • Whatā€™s Your Point?

    What do I mean by ā€œWhatā€™s your point?ā€ā€ÆItā€™s a lessonā€ÆI learnedā€Æfrom spinning ballerinas andā€Æbalancing yogis.ā€Æ To spin without falling, aā€Ædancerā€Æā€œspotsā€ by focusing on a fixed objectā€Æas her body turns and whips her head around to see the objectā€Æeach time she rotates. The balancing yogiā€Æfixatesā€Æon a point to stay steady.ā€Æ Losing focus means wobbling and thatā€™sā€Æbound to happen sometimesā€Æā€Æbutā€Æwithā€Æmaturity, ā€Æyouā€Æregain focus andā€Æsteadyā€Æagain.

    When your life feelsā€Æout of balanceā€Æor ā€Æyouā€™reā€Ædizzy from spinning in circles,ā€Æremember the ballerinas and yogisā€Æand ask yourself, ā€Æā€œWhatā€™s my point?ā€ā€Æā€ÆYour point isā€Æsomething you look forward to in the future. The thing that your soul is calling you towards either in the short term or long term. Itā€™s what gives your life meaningā€Æin that moment.ā€Æā€Æ

    If you want to spin perfectly or stay balanced evenā€Æduringā€Æchaotic times, you must first be clear about what your point is. Theā€Æmore you understandā€Æyour purpose, the harder itā€™ll be forā€Ælifeā€™s ups and downsā€Æto throw you off balance or stop you from spinningā€Æand the easier itā€™ll be to get backā€Æin the saddleā€Æwhen they do.ā€Æā€Æ

    When you find yourself out of kilter,ā€Æremember the ballerina and yogi,ā€Ære-connect to your purpose and ask how you can use the events that are throwing you off to best serve your purpose.ā€Æā€ÆBut what if you have no clue what your purpose is? No problem.ā€Æā€Æ

    Next week,ā€ÆIā€™ll show you how to leverage your troubles toā€Æuncoverā€Æit.ā€Æā€ÆIn theā€Æmeantime, if youā€™d likeā€Æmore aboutā€Æthe journey to your Soulā€™s HomeĀ®, click the link to my website because Iā€™d love to see you there.ā€Æ

    Until next time, I wish you well on your journey.ā€Æā€Æā€Æ

  • Where are you on Maslowā€™s Hierarchy of needs?

    Maslow believed that people are motivated to act on their needs in priority order: Physiological, Safety, Love/ Belonging, Esteem and Self-Actualization. So, if you donā€™t have food and water, youā€™ll seek it even at the expense of your safety. Once you have food and water, youā€™ll seek safety. Until you have safety, it will be your priority before seeking love and so on. Maslow believed that the ultimate goal of self-actualization was not possible until all the lower needs were met.

    I was excited to learn about this in Psychology 101 because it explained why there were so many struggling people who couldnā€™t just pull themselves up by the bootstraps and make something of themselves!

    Here I was, a young woman who had grown up in the safety and love of my parentā€™s home with all the advantages of middle-class America. I had the luxury of being able to focus on figuring out what I wanted to do with my life. But what about all those people at the bottom of the pyramid whose only thoughts are protecting their safety or getting enough to eat?

    This is why ā€œhomeā€ is so important. The Journey to Your Soulā€™s HomeĀ® is about getting all your needs met so you can self-actualize by living your soulā€™s purpose.

    Where are you right now on Maslowā€™s Hierarchy? What can you do to strengthen the foundation of your triangle so you can achieve self-actualization? I believe that as each of us moves to the top of the pyramid, weā€™ll be able to give a hand up to others below so we may all live to our greatest potential.

    If you feel moved, write about this below because sharing is good for your soul. Next week, weā€™ll talk about why perfect isnā€™t always perfect.

    Until next time, I wish you well on your journey.

  • Are you a product of your nature or how youā€™ve been nurtured?

    As a teenager, I had an ongoing good-natured debate with my mother about whether or not, people were a product of nature or nurture. She was a science teacher so, she argued the Nature side ā€“ that people were born with genetic predispositions. I studied psychology so, I argued the Nurture side ā€“ that it was the environments people lived in, particularly when they were a child that shaped who they were.

    But now, Iā€™ve come to realize that we were both right ā€“ both what you are born with and your environment shape who you are. Learning how to make the most of what you were born with by creating an environment where you will thrive is the essence of the Journey to Your Soulā€™s HomeĀ®.

    On the nature side, you were born with a purpose ā€“ your soulā€™s purpose and you were given unique talents to carry out that purpose.

    On the nurture side, creating a home where your talents will thrive is critical to living your soulā€™s purpose. You can think of it like this. Your soulā€™s purpose is what nature gave you ā€“ your predisposition. Your Soulā€™s HomeĀ® is the environment that will nurture your soulā€™s purpose.

    The two have a direct relationship so as you focus on your environment, your ability to live your soulā€™s purpose increases and as you focus on your purpose, improvements to your environment will flow. Allow your focus to shift back and forth between the two as your soul feels moved and eventually, you will be fully living your soulā€™s purpose and be living in a home that fully supports your purpose. This is the Journey to Your Soulā€™s HomeĀ®.

    If you feel moved, write about your journey below because sharing is good for your soul. Next time, weā€™ll look at how Maslowā€™s Hierarchy of Needs fits into the Journey to Your Soulā€™s HomeĀ®.

    Until next week, I wish you well on your journey.

  • What shall you do? Itā€™s often hard to know what to do. There are so many difficult decisions in life.

    I remember the first time I struggled to make a big decision, my mother gave me some sage advice. She said, ā€œSuzanne, you always have three choices: 1. Live with it, 2. Lobby for change or 3. Leave.ā€

    Knowing the three choices has felt liberating and empowering. Liberating because it shrinks a sea of unlimited choices down to bite sized pieces and empowering because ā€“ gosh, darn it! With this tool, I can decide and move on!

    So, letā€™s look closer at these three choices. First, name something about your home that you donā€™t like. Second, think about your soulā€™s purpose for the short term ā€“ what I call the little p. If you need help figuring out your little p, check out Episode 05. Third, consider your choices in the context of your little p. Given your soulā€™s purpose for the short term, what would feed your soul the most right now?

    Is it time for you to live with your home the way it is? Is it time to lobby for change by decorating or remodeling? Or is it simply time to leave or move out? Sit quietly and ask your soul to guide you. The answer may come quickly, or you may need to take more time to explore your options and let them simmer before the answer is clear. Itā€™s important to know that the answer can be different depending upon when you are asking the question.

    Letā€™s say for example, that your soul is calling you to take care of an ill family member. This may not be the time for you to renovate your house so, the answer may be to live with it. But once that family member has recovered, your soul may call you to a new beginning by directing you to renovate or leave.

    No matter what you decide, my wish for you is that you are at peace with your decision and in your soulā€™s flow as you implement it. If you need help figuring out if you should live with it, lobby for change or leave your home, you can check out the link to our free quiz: Does Your Home Feed Your Soul?

    If you feel moved, write about this below because sharing is good for your soul. Next time, weā€™ll explore how to apply the three choices to: Pesky Household Members.

    Until next week, I wish you well on your Journey.

  • Weā€™ve talked about the BIG P ā€“ the part of your soulā€™s purpose thatā€™s your lifeā€™s work, what you were born to do. But what about your little ā€œpā€ or what your soul is calling you to do for the short term?

    I really like the little p because even if you are struggling to figure out what your Big P is you can still stay on track by tuning in to your little p. Your little p will always lead to your Big P. Your little p says, ā€œItā€™s okay to be where you are, donā€™t worry about the future just be here with me now and Iā€™ll make sure you get to where you need to be.ā€

    Sometimes, itā€™s impossible to see your Big P clearly until you have fully addressed your little p. For example, someone who has lived through abuse or has health challenges may need to heal and recover before their Big P gets into focus or is even possible to realize.

    Even people who know their Big P need to follow their little p to achieve their Big P. Remember we talked about Jane Goodallā€™s Big P ā€“ to promote understanding and protection of great apes and their habitat. Today, she travels the world, speaking to inspire action. Can you imagine if she started doing that in 1960 instead of living among the chimpanzees in Tanzania? She first needed to understand the apes and their needs and gain credibility before she could be an effective advocate for them.

    Itā€™s normal to wish we were farther along than we are. If thatā€™s where you are, go ahead ā€“ take time to feel like crap about being where you are. Itā€™s okay. I hereby give you permission to feel like crap for as long as you like ā€“ it can be your little p. And when youā€™re done feeling like crap, ask: ā€œSoul, what do you want me to focus on now?ā€ You define now according to what you need ā€“ this moment, today, this week, this year? Maybe, it just takes as long as it takes ā€“ thatā€™s okay.

    Use the list of common little pā€™s below to help your soul hone in on yours. Careful though, donā€™t pick too many, 2 or 3 will suffice. Anything more than that will be counter productive.

    Explore Your Options Learn or Study Create or Birth Prepare Pursue &/or Receive What You Need to Live Your Purpose Connect with Others Perform Your Craft or Purpose Survive, Manage, or Protect from Crisis Lobby for Change Prune and Purge People, Activities and Things Rest, Recover and Heal from a Physical/Emotional Difficulty Re-discover Yourself After a Life Change Be a Caretaker for a Loved One Make Time and Space to Hear Your Soul Coast & Have Fun Develop Good Self-Care Habits Improve Your Financial Health Heal Damaged Relationships Stand Up for Yourself Move away from danger

    If you feel so moved, please let me know how focusing on little p works for you by writing comments below.

    Until next week, I wish you well on your journey.

  • Should you kick your adult children out of your house? The number of adult children whoā€™ve returned home or never left has risen over the last decade, leaving some parents with a dilemma.

    If this describes you, how do you make a soulful decision about whether or not to allow your adult children to live with you? The key is to recognize whether or not youā€™re enabling or empowering your child by allowing them to live with you.

    Enabling encourages active addiction, free loading or constant conflict. Enabling wonā€™t help your child become a responsible adult and starves everyoneā€™s souls.

    On the other hand, empowerment inspires your child to pursue their soulā€™s purpose, contribute to the household and live harmoniously, feeding everyoneā€™s souls. Once fully empowered, your adult child will leave on their own when the time is right.

    If youā€™re nervous that will never happen, set a date in your mind that youā€™d ask your child to start preparing to leave. Make the date far enough away for your child to be able to move out successfully and close enough to give you some comfort.

    Eric and I did this but never had to have ā€œthe conversationā€ because the child was long gone by our date. But having the date in our minds made our time with our child much more enjoyable.

    If youā€™re enabling your child, letting them go with love may be whatā€™s most soulful for everyone. But thatā€™s a tough pill to swallow though and not easy to carry out alone. Ask your soul if itā€™s the most soulful option and for guidance in finding the right people to help.

    For help unraveling this, check out the link below to the Soulā€™s HomeĀ® Alignment DIY. Once you do the meditations and exercises, youā€™ll have a clearer picture of your soulā€™s calling in relationship to your child.

    I hope that youā€™ll be able to live in harmony and empowerment with everyone in your house.

    Next week, weā€™ll talk about the decision to move to start over. Until next week, I wish you well on your journey.

  • Is it time to move out of your parentā€™s house?

    Thereā€™s no magic answer to when itā€™s time to leave your parentā€™s house. It depends on you, your family and the house. In general, when you feel that youā€™re being held back or holding others back itā€™s time to move on.

    During the adulting phase, the spiritual purpose of your life is about becoming independent and ā€œfinding yourself.ā€ While leaving your parents home can help, it may not be time for you now.

    How do you know when itā€™s time to go? Ask yourself these questions to get clarity:

    ā€“ Are you your best self at home?

    ā€“ Do you feel like you canā€™t be you?

    ā€“ Do you need to move out to find yourself?

    ā€“ Are you clear about what you want to do and your parentā€™s home is providing the support and stability you need as you seek the right opportunity?

    ā€“ Is there conflict at home thatā€™s better left behind?

    ā€“ Is staying helping to heal childhood wounds?

    ā€“ Are you selling yourself short by free loading?

    ā€“ Are you contributing to the household?

    ā€“ Are you stuck because youā€™re afraid to venture out on your own?

    ā€“ Are you actively preparing to become independent?

    ā€“ Does your soul call you to stay to help take care of others in the house?

    ā€“ Are you cleared for takeā€“off?

    ā€“ Can you support yourself financially?

    ā€“ Does staying give you breathing room until you have the income and savings to move?

    Sit with your answers then ask your soul what itā€™s calling you to do. If itā€™s time to go, take a moment to feel gratitude for your parents whoā€™ve allowed you to live there until it was time to go. If itā€™s not time to go, be clear about why you are staying and how you can use this time to find yourself and prepare for independence.

    Next week, weā€™ll look at this from your parentā€™s angle. Until next week, I wish you well on your journey.

  • Should you buy a house with a partner youā€™re not married to?

    Buying a house together as a married couple is complicated enough. If youā€™re not married, thereā€™s even more to iron out. On top of agreeing on the house, location, sharing expenses and merging stuff, an unmarried couple faces more complex property ownership laws, judgments by others on moral and religious grounds and possibly their own commitment issues. These complexities may cloud your soulā€™s voice causing your ego to decide to buy together when itā€™s not soulful or NOT buy when it would be soulful.

    So, how can you be sure youā€™re acting soulfully?

    ā€“ First, check out last weekā€™s episode to see if you have a ā€œsoul marriageā€. If you donā€™t, buying together isnā€™t likely to feed anyoneā€™s soul.

    ā€“ Second, tune into your own soulā€™s purpose and spiritual purpose as a couple and agree on what you need most in a house to feed your souls.

    ā€“ Third, consult a lawyer about how youā€™ll address the legal gap for unmarried couples taking title to a house together. Married couples may take title so that the other gets the whole house if one of you dies and agreement is necessary to sell. In most states, there isnā€™t a title for unmarried couples that has both survivorship rights and requires agreement before selling so additional legal documents may be necessary.

    ā€“ Fourth, whenever youā€™re in disagreement or are faced with moral or commitment issues, tune into your soul to ask for the spiritual purpose of the trouble. Allow it to either strengthen your resolve to buy together or lead to marriage or simply living together or going your separate ways.

    No matter which direction you choose, I hope youā€™ll be able to have a home and housemates that feed your soul. If you need help on the Journey to Your Soulā€™s HomeĀ®, Iā€™d love to speak with you. Just click Contact Me to schedule a free 30-minute call.

    Next time, weā€™ll ask whether itā€™s better to buy a house you love or be in a place you love. Until next week, I wish you well on your journey.

  • Is shacking up soulful?

    While some consider cohabitation before marriage living in sin, itā€™s important to tune into YOUR soul to know if living together is right for you. First, ask if your souls are already ā€œmarriedā€. That may seem like an odd question but my husband and I felt ā€œmarriedā€ long before our wedding day.

    On the other hand, there are legal marriages between people whose souls arenā€™t married. When your souls are married, the spiritual purpose of living together is to feed each otherā€™s souls so you may more fully live your purpose. Living together, however, is the hardest part of marriage so you may not want to do it without the benefit of legal marriage.

    I sometimes joked that if my husband and I didnā€™t have to live together weā€™d have the perfect marriage ā€“ to which he agrees. Thatā€™s because we werenā€™t always on the same page about money, which way the toilet paper should be hung or the children. It can take years to get in sync.

    If youā€™re thinking of shacking up and have neither a soul marriage nor a legal marriage, then what would be the purpose of living together? Saving money? Sharing household chores? Convenient sex? Avoiding commitment? Chasing after commitment?

    Without a ā€œsoul marriageā€, living together is likely to feed your ego rather than your soul keeping both of you from living your soulā€™s purpose. I hope that whether youā€™re legally married or not, youā€™ll be able to live with people that feed your soul so you can fully live your soulā€™s purpose.

    Next week, weā€™ll explore the complications of buying a house together without being married. Until next time, I wish you well on your journey.

  • Should you move into your spouseā€™s house when you get married?

    Now that youā€™ve found your soul mate, itā€™s time to find your Soulā€™s HomeĀ®. But can your Soulā€™s HomeĀ® be a house your spouse already owns? That depends.

    Presumably, youā€™re getting married because you feed each otherā€™s souls. Since thatā€™s the case, start with the premise that your relationship is more important than where you live. You could live in the most perfect house but if youā€™re not in harmony with your spouse, that perfect house will not be your Soulā€™s HomeĀ®. On the other hand, you could live in a terrible house but if you are in harmony with your spouse you will feel like your Soul is HomeĀ®.

    When you marry, youā€™re both going from ā€œmeā€ to ā€œweā€. Generally, itā€™s better to approach finding your marital home as a ā€œweā€ rather than adapting a home that was found as a ā€œmeā€ or worse yet a previous ā€œwe.ā€ But sometimes, finances, a unique house or location, children or other life circumstances may make a home that one of you owns your Soulā€™s HomeĀ® too.

    There are three steps to hearing whether your souls are calling you to find a new house together or use one of your existing homes:

    ā€“ First, tune into your soulā€™s purposes as individuals and as a couple.

    ā€“ Second, prioritize each of the Soulā€™s HomeĀ® ingredients by what you need most to feed your souls.

    ā€“ Third, determine if the existing house can meet those priorities for now.

    If it can, agree on what changes youā€™ll make to transform it from a ā€œmeā€ house to your ā€œweā€ house, how youā€™ll share expenses, if youā€™ll both be on the title and when it might be time to consider moving. If an existing house canā€™t meet your ā€œweā€ priorities, itā€™s time to let go and find a new house together. I hope you two soul mates find your Soulā€™s HomeĀ®.

    If you need help, Iā€™d love to speak with you. Just click Contact Me to schedule a free 30-minute call. Next week, weā€™ll talk about moving in together when youā€™re not married by asking, ā€œIs shacking up soulful?ā€.

    Until next time, I wish you well on your journey.

  • Is moving to the ā€œbestā€ school district bad for your kids?

    As parents, part of our soulā€™s purpose is to empower our children to live their soulā€™s purpose. And school plays a big part in this. Likely, youā€™ll consider school safety, test scores, class sizes, teacher attitudes, classroom behavior, extra-curricular activities, college attendance and affordability. While these factors are all important, to make the most soulful choice for your child, the location, community AND home must feed YOUR soul too.

    When I do Soulā€™s HomeĀ® Alignment Plans and workshops, parents often express despair over sacrificing feeding their own souls to live in a ā€œbetterā€ school district. This can be bad for your kids in a few ways.

    ā€“ First, the example you provide will impact your child more than their school. Itā€™s easier for your children to grow up living their soulā€™s purposes, if they see you living yours.

    ā€“ Second, when your soul isnā€™t fed, you have less loving energy for your children.

    ā€“ Third, you risk harming your relationship if you accuse your kids of being ungrateful after ALL youā€™ve done for them. And when you live in a neighborhood where you donā€™t feel like you fit in, your kids will likely feel that way too, breeding insecurities.

    To avoid these pitfalls, ask your ego to investigate all your options then ask your soul to choose the one that will best feed everyoneā€™s souls. If the school, community, location and house arenā€™t ALL ideal, ask your soul for the spiritual purpose of the ā€œdeficiencyā€.

    For example, if your soul leads you to a better school in the suburbs while you prefer the city, maybe you take regular trips to the city to feed your soul. If your soul calls you to the city and youā€™re not happy with the school, maybe youā€™re called to volunteer to make it a better place for everyoneā€™s kids. I hope youā€™ll be able to find a home in a school district that will nourish everyoneā€™s souls.

    If you need help finding your Soulā€™s HomeĀ®, Iā€™d love to speak with you. Just click Contact Me to schedule a free 30-minute call.

    Next month, weā€™ll ask if itā€™s better to renovate or sell? Until next time, I wish you well on your journey.

  • Does Thanksgiving make your home a Soulā€™s HomeĀ®?

    Thanksgiving is about giving thanks. While giving thanks can be done anywhere, giving thanks in our Soulā€™s HomeĀ® or that of family or friends can be more meaningful. Thatā€™s because some of the ingredients for your Thanksgiving feast are Soulā€™s HomeĀ® ingredients.

    Thanksgiving can be an important part of the Soulā€™s HomeĀ® ingredient ā€“ Culture and Religion. If you host Thanksgiving, youā€™ll use the Soulā€™s HomeĀ® ingredients ā€“ Form and Function too by making your home look welcoming and arranging things so it work well for all those who gather at your table.

    But itā€™s the Soulā€™s HomeĀ® ingredient ā€“ Household Member Harmony that may nourish your souls the most at Thanksgiving. So, if thereā€™s harmony in your house, give thanks and feel your soul shine. But if you donā€™t have household member harmony, it may be hard to give thanks.

    So, what can you do about this? First, recognize that lack of gratitude comes from the ego and starves the soul. So, especially when youā€™re feeling ungrateful, whether itā€™s Thanksgiving or not, take time to identify a few things you can be grateful for.

    Feeling gratitude for all that you do have nourishes your soul and this is what Thanksgiving is all about. Itā€™s this nourishment that allows you to hear the call of your soul.

    I hope that youā€™ll be able to give thanks on Thanksgiving and every day so you may find your way to your Soulā€™s HomeĀ® and live your soulā€™s purpose.

    Next time, weā€™ll talk about the Soulā€™s HomeĀ® ingredient ā€“ Building Type to learn how to find one that feeds your soul.

    Until next week, I wish you well on your journey.

  • Could redecorating strengthen your marriage?

    The last time we decorated, the spiritual purpose of our home was to help Ericā€™s children as they transitioned to adulthood, re-align our marriage in an empty nest, and develop Journey to Your Soulā€™s HomeĀ®. But now that the kids are independent, our marriage is stronger than ever and Iā€™m confident in my Soulā€™s HomeĀ® approach, our dĆ©cor didnā€™t reflect that.

    I wanted dĆ©cor that aligned with our new spiritual purpose: to enjoy our strong marital union and use it to support each other in our work. Eric agreed and was on board with me taking time off and using $800 weā€™d been gifted to redecorate.

    He was thrilled to return from work to see empty spaces where cluttered family photos and art from my single years once hung. We decided where to move the dĆ©cor we were keeping, and I went shopping to fill in the gaps. But as I shopped, it felt wrong to choose decor myself. I was called to choose with Eric. But I was nervous. I thought Iā€™d have to compromise for the sake of the marriage. But when we liked the same things, I realized that Iā€™d done our marriage a disservice.

    When I decorated my last bachelorette pad, I felt grief in anticipation that it would be the last time Iā€™d have dĆ©cor I liked. I believed my future husband and I wouldnā€™t agree. So, I kept art from my single years and shied away from including Eric in decorating. This was my way of hanging on to the freedom and simplicity of my single life.

    As our relationship strengthened, I was called to let go of the symbols of my bachelorette life. Redecorating together has allowed Eric and I to embrace our marriage on a deeper level. In a tender moment, Eric told me that we now have the home he always pictured with me. And ironically, my life feels simpler and freer than it did when I was single.

    Whether youā€™re married or single, I hope you have home dĆ©cor that feeds your soul. Next week, weā€™ll talk about: Transforming our Feng Shui Money Corner.

    In the meantime, if you need my help hearing if your soul is calling you to re-decorate or move, Iā€™d love to talk with you. Just click Contact Me to get in touch.

    Until next week, I wish you well on your journey.

  • Should you be neat and tidy?

    The Soulā€™s HomeĀ® ingredient ā€“ Neatness is often misunderstood so letā€™s take a soulful approach. Thereā€™s a common assumption that neat is good and messy is bad. But to the soul, this isnā€™t necessarily true.

    Many brilliant people thrive on messiness. Steve Jobs, Albert Einstein and Mark Twain all had chaotic workplaces. For many geniuses, what looks like a tangled mess is actually fuel for their creativity. For others, that same mess is a creative block.

    To approach the Soulā€™s HomeĀ® ingredient ā€“ Neatness soulfully ask, ā€œDo I need order, or creative chaos to nourish my soul?ā€ Make sure your answer comes from your soul not, your ego. If youā€™re messy your ego wants you to stay messy because itā€™s afraid of what will happen if you tidy up. If youā€™re neat, your ego wants you to stay neat because itā€™s afraid of what will happen if you loosen up. Allow your soul to decide if neat or creative chaos will set you free.

    For me, what feeds my soul depends on what phase of my soulā€™s work Iā€™m in. When I create, I make a mess by surrounding myself with everything that could help me. And, I might not shower, make my bed or put away the dishes for days while I focus all my energy on birthing my idea. But when Iā€™m done creating and ready to show the world, I clean up and organize so Iā€™m effective in carrying out my vision.

    What about you? What do you need for your soul to fly high? If your soul needs organization but you have chaos or you need a mess but have organization, your spiritual work is cut out for you. Weā€™ll address what happens if you live with others who are opposite from you another time. But for now, the soulful key is to be respectful of your differences and agree on what areas of the house will be messy or neat.

    I hope youā€™ll be able to find a soulful balance between neat and messy because I want your home to feed your soul. If you want my help finding your Soulā€™s HomeĀ®, Iā€™d love to talk with you. Just click Contact Me to get in touch. Next time, weā€™ll address fears about moving.

    Until next week, I wish you well on your journey.