Episoder
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As our teens continue to get older, our role in relationship with them changes. It is hard to know where to lean in and where to let go. The good news is there is no "right way" to parent through the second half of the teen years and beyond - instead, we get to become ever better at intuiting what it is our young people need. During this episode, I go through the different eras of later adolescence and offer my thoughts on useful ways of showing up. Can't wait to hear what you think!
Find all the show notes at: https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-488-thoughts-about-parenting-our-older-teens-and-baby-adults/
Join the Joyful Courage Parents of Teens FB Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/jcforparentsofteens
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I am so excited about my guest today - Alyse Levine! We have one of the foremost college counseling experts in the country here today sharing her wisdom and tips to help adolescents fulfill their college goals & dreams.
Alyse shares why she’s so passionate about college admissions & working with young people, and I ask what was surprising for her when going through the college admissions process with her own kiddo recently. We dig into all-things admissions related: testing, grades, college essays, rescinded offers, and virtual opportunities & internships. I ask Alyse what teens should be doing during the summer and how to discern good opportunities & programs, and we wrap up this week talking about setting expectations for our adolescents and how motivating it is when people are learning something they’re excited about.
Key Takeaways from the show
Why work with a college admissions specialist or counselor?
FAFSA, Merit Money, & scholarships
How has grading changed since we were in school?
Colleges rescinding offers
College is a safe place to make some mistakes & grow resiliency
What should teens be doing during summer breaks?
Virtual internships & experiences
What to look for in good summer programs & offerings
Authenticity during the college admissions process
The motivation that comes when we are learning things we’re excited about
“There is a home and a college for everyone”
For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here.
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Surprise!!! My girl and podcast fave, Julietta Skoog, joins me today on a special Thursday show where we come down off of our high from leading our first ever Sproutable Retreat on the gorgeous California Coast. We talk about the highlights from the weekend as well as the power of parenting in community, creating time and structure for our own self-care, and shared a few funny stories... Listen in and let me know what you think.
Find all the show notes and info about our sponsors here: https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/Eps-486-The-beauty-of-parenting-in-community-with-Julietta-Skoog
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My guests today are Jaya Ramesh and Priya Saaral. Jaya and Priya have a lot in common, including being the co-authors of their new book, “Parenting at the Intersections.” This is a deeply emotional topic for them, both personally and professionally.
Many people are discussing the experience of neurodivergence, and many people are discussing being a person of color, but where are the resources for neurodivergent people of color? Jaya and Priya have so much wisdom to share, from asking for what your child needs until they get it, what people who aren’t raising neurodivergent children of color need to know, and why & how to be there for all kids, not just your kid.
We dig deep into how we can expand our definition of what’s “normal,” so that we can be less judgmental, especially when there are systems in place working against that, and how hard it can be for adolescents to find their strengths when we are so focused on deficits.
Takeaways from the show
How do you hold the feedback about your child from their school?
How do you make it work when public school is the only option?
Asking for what you or your child(ren) needs until you get it
Checking your biases
What do people who aren’t raising neurodivergent children of color need to know?
Being curious, empathetic, & compassionate
Being in it for all kids, not just your kid
Expanding our definition of “normal” so we can be less judgmental
Moving away from neurotypical expectations, narratives, & timelines
Holding that space for our child(ren) when they show up differently
For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here.
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Ooh, I have some fun during this week's solo show... If I could go back to parenting my kids through middle school I would take my own advice and do it differently. The beauty of hindsight. Lucky for YOU I am sharing all of my thoughts around parenting during middle school years today on the show!
Find the full show notes and info about sponsors at: https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/Eps-484-the-real-work-of-parenting-during-the-middle-school-years
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My friend Douglas Haddad is here this week to chat about all things middle school, with a focus on encouraging discouraged learners.
Douglas has been teaching for over 24 years (at ONE school!), and I love his commitment to his students. Douglas shares what he’s seen changing during that period, like higher anxiety & social media misuse, and what’s stayed the same, like a child’s need to feel loved, heard, and understood.
Douglas shares his wisdom on keeping middle schoolers encouraged & engaged: making sure they understand the systems in place around them, how we can help when our kid isn’t connecting with a teacher, collaborating on family agreements, and helping our tweens grow their tolerance for discomfort.
Takeaways from the show
What’s different between middle school today & when you were a tween?
“Loved, heard, and understood”
What does discouragement look like in the classroom?
Wait Until 8th Pledge
Does your child know & understand the systems in place around them?
How to help foster connection between your child & their teachers
Family contracts, charters, agreements, & meetings
Being available without an agenda or judgment
Setting & celebrating small goals
Scaffolding for our kiddos to grow their tolerance for discomfort
For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here.
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It is so easy, when we aren't paying attention, to let our minds slide into all the worst-case scenarios, the worst possible outcomes, "dead in a ditch." I know, I've been there, and it ISN'T USEFUL. It isn't an empowered or encouraged parenting mindset during the teen years. So how do we shift?? Listen to this episode and find out!
Get more show notes and info about sponsors at https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/Eps-482-Shifting-from-worst-case-scenarios-to-trusting-process-teens/
Join the FB Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/jcforparentsofteens
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Amy & Christy are back for part 2 of our conversation, and we’re talking about pornography. Please believe us: your kid is going to see porn. Some families are more aware & ready for this moment than others, so what can you do and say to prepare? You can’t prevent the exposure or know how your child will react, but we can get ready for it and start the conversation now. Pornography is all over the place and often hidden, and unfortunately kids view that as Sex Ed & think that pornography is what sex with a partner will be like for them - they assume that hardcore porn is real life. Seeing these images train their brain; watching porn today is very different from running into an issue of Playboy when we were kids, and it’s impossible to avoid. So what do we say to our kids? What’s the magic word? Christy shares the way she uses values to talk to her teen, and Amy explains how to keep the conversation around other kids to break through to your own teen. We touch on monitoring software & sugar dating. The good news here is that there are many resources available for families to use, and it can get better. Takeaways from the showYour kids will see pornography Pornography is different than when you were a kid Kids often keep it a secret if they see pornographic material. Let them know they won’t be in trouble! Pornography is often in hidden, unexpected spacesKids see pornography as Sex Ed Pornography trains their growing brain - including the themes of misogyny, racism, & shame around their bodies Don’t tell yourself, “it won’t happen to my kid” Porn is harder to avoid today than it was to find in the ‘80s What do we say to our kids about this? Conversations about pornography need to start early - earlier than you think! Keep them short & frequentUsing monitoring softwareFor more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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This week we are going deep into examining the beliefs we hold about our kids and how they might actually be what is getting in the way and creating the suffering we are experiencing. I know, seems like an easy fix, right? We may not be able to control our kids (truly, we can't) but what we BELIEVE about them is for sure a part of our influence AND for SURE impacts how we EXPERIENCE them. Listen in and let me know what you think.
Find more about our sponsors and full show notes at https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-480-power-of-examining-beliefs-we-hold-about-our-teens-and-tweens/
Jump into the FB group discussion at https://www.facebook.com/groups/jcforparentsofteens/posts/1604661457038309/
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My guest today is my good, local friend - Cindy Palmer.
Cindy’s here to talk about executive functioning in kids with neurodivergence, especially during the transition to college. High School is a time that is typically incredibly structured, down to the minute, and the transition to college is tricky for all adolescents. What do we do when it feels like our kids aren’t ready? How can parents help scaffold that transition? Especially for kids with neurodivergence? Cindy shares lots of strategies and ideas around supporting our adolescents during this tricky time - getting curious & compassionate, not holding a certain view on what things “should” look like, and what kind of bumps slow down (or stop) our kiddos from getting their work done.
I ask Cindy what we can be doing in the middle & high school years to help with the transition (spoiler: it’s lots of practice & baby steps) and we talk about how important grades actually are. We get into what we can hand over to our kids right now (how about waking themselves up in the morning?) and why we want to practice these life skills in middle school, not the first week of college. We wrap up touching on adjusting our expectations for how older kiddos contribute to the family (and how we can use these as opportunities to teach life skills).
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You and me and enthusiastic curiosity - WOOHOO! It may sound crazy but when we can really connect with the experience we are having while navigating our kids' mischief, regulate, and shift into curiosity, there is space for much deeper connection and learning for all. Truly. Listen to this show for tips on all the things - and let me know what you think!
For show notes and more info on our sponsors, head to https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/Eps-478-Meeting-misbehavior-with-enthusiastic-curiosity/
To chime in on your take-aways, join the Joyful Courage for Parents of Teens FB Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/jcforparentsofteens/posts/1600103267494128/
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I am SO glad you’re here this week for my second chat with Emily Cherkin, AKA The Screentime Consultant.
We start by talking about what Emily’s been seeing & dealing with lately: managing screentime at home, reigning screentime in after Covid struggles, and kids having more access to tech at younger ages than ever before. It’s obvious that parents are really trying to figure out how to set screentime limits that actually work without isolating our kids from their social network or hindering their schoolwork. We also get into screens & tech in the bedroom & our hypocrisy on expectations around screentime.
After catching up on all of that, we dig into AI - what AI is, how quickly it’s changing, & the lack of transparency and understanding around AI. Emily shares her TLDR around all tech: “less is more, later is better, & relationships first.” Emily and I ponder on what parents can do when they want their kids to have a phone for emergencies, and she shares what her two questions for parents are around screentime.
Key Takeaways
How do we set screentime limits that actually work and are helpful?!
Tech use is all about balance
Managing screentime at home
Reigning in screentime after Covid
Screens & electronics in bedrooms
What is AI?
“Less is more, later is better, & relationships first”
How adolescents having phones helps & exacerbates parental stressors
Do you know what your kid is doing on their device?
You have the tools you need to manage this!
For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here.
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Hey there - back again with thoughts on Monday's episode and prompting us all to have a broader perspective than just the one that lives in our heads. Our relationships depend on our willingness to consider how where we are coming from is getting in the way of what we ultimately want to create. I can't wait to hear your thoughts on this!
For more show notes and info on our sponsors go to: https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/Eps-476-Being-right-downside-comparing-our-experience-others/
To share your takeaways to the prompts in the FB Group, go to: https://www.facebook.com/groups/jcforparentsofteens/posts/1596414907862964/
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My guest today is Aaron Steinberg.
Aaron is super passionate about equipping couples with the tools they need for the challenges of parenthood. The good news is that these challenges are universal, and we can make changes in our relationships. Aaron and I get into a whole lot in our conversation: family meetings, offering & receiving feedback from a spouse, and how to talk to your spouse when you’re the one with the new tools & ideas to try. I love Aaron’s framing of being “somewhat right” and why the objective truth doesn’t really matter in a relationship. I ask Aaron what he thinks about ambivalence showing up in a long-term relationship and what realistic expectations are in a long marriage.
Takeaways from the show:
Parenting brings up all kinds of things from our past & can make us feel incompatible with our partner
Sometimes our needs are seemingly incompatible with our partner’s needs
Relationships are constant practice
Family meetings
Offering feedback kindly & receiving feedback openly
Separating feelings problems from action problems
Erasing competitiveness from problems
Being “somewhat right”
Ambivalence in a long relationship
Checking your vision of marriage
For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here.
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Inspired by Monday's show and a post for the Joyful Courage for Parents of Teens FB Group, today is an exploration of the experience and considerations when you find yourself parenting with someone who doesn't align with your style of parenting.
Share your takeaways in the Joyful Courage for Parents of Teens FB Group by clicking here.
Check out the full show notes and links about our sponsors at: https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-474-when-we-dont-align-with-our-partners-parenting-style/
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My guest today is Carol Szuky. Carol is on the show today because she feels called to talk about the narcissistic abuse she navigated with her children for most of their lives.
Carol shares the story of meeting and marrying her narcissistic husband and the two big indicators that let her know the relationship was no longer healthy or working. I ask Carol to define narcissism from her experience and how/when she planned to leave, then she shares the conversation & surprising twist that opened her husband up to listening, feeling, and changing.
Takeways from the show
What is narcissism? What does it look like?
Where does narcissism come from?
Indicators that your relationship is not healthy
Tools & therapies that can help narcissists and victims
How people react to the narcissism diagnosis
Co-parenting with a narcissist
Holding integrity, knowing your worth, & keeping your boundaries
For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here.
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I'm back with a brand new solo show, channeling wisdom and empowerment. Today I am reflecting on a workplace training experience and will emphasize the importance of nurturing relationships with teenagers amidst their complexities and challenges. I share insights on fostering understanding, transparency, and connection with teens, urging you all to navigate the wonkiness of adolescence with curiosity and presence.
See more show notes and info about sponsors at https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/Eps-472-The-wobble-of-centering-relationship-and-curiosity-with-our-teens/
Share your takeaways in the Joyful Courage for Parents of Teens FB Group - click here.
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My guest today is Michael Jacobus, and we’re talking about unhealthy screen time, social media overuse, gaming addiction, and his Reset Summer Camp program.
Michael shares how his own son becoming addicted to video games and the lack of help & programs available inspired him to create Reset Summer Camp. We, as parents, did not know the Pandora’s Box we were opening when we first brought technology and social media into our homes. We end up feeling guilty and don’t know what to do. How and why would we? None of this was available when we were teens!
Michael posits that over half of the teens in the US have an issue with screen time, and he shares some recommendations for screen time at home (including when you get big, emotional reactions to new limits). I ask Michael how to first open up this conversation with your teen, how to best roll out social media to younger teens, and we wrap up agreeing that screen time usage is an issue that is truly universal and in every home.
Takeaways from the show
Gaming disorder is a real, diagnosable condition
Parents typically don’t know what to do about gaming disorder and other screen time addictions
Technology addiction or screen time addiction is a family problem
How do you differentiate between typical teen behavior and serious overuse of technology?
Checking your own screen time usage
Recommendations for screen time at home
The importance of good sleep
How to roll out social media to a young teen
Screen time is an issue in every household
For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here.
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This week I am taking us back to the core concepts of PD. For some of you, it will be a review, for others, it will be no - no matter, this show is sure to take EVERYONE deeper in their thinking about how we be in relationships with our kids as they move through the season of adolescence.
For more show notes and sponsor info click here.
To jump into the FB Group and share your takeaways, click here.
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Join Alanna Beebe, Julietta Skoog, & Casey O’Roarty, the three founders of Sproutable, as we dig deeper into finding the why of the work we do. This is the last episode of this limited series, and we’re excited to talk about leaning into perseverance. Parenting is messy! We’ve got to keep our growth mindset and get into the thick of it to build grit, resilience, and to evolve as parents. Get in the ring with these kiddos. Engage! We’re not going to get it exactly right; it’s going to be messy, and that’s part of the work. So often, we just want to get back to comfort, and we use our easiest tools without a pause to see what the situation really called for. Kids need for us to be in discomfort with them, not fix it for them! Alanna explains what mirror neurons are, where our empathy comes from, and why it’s so hard for us when our child(ren) are losing it. Casey digs into how our own history and inner-child affects our parenting, and Julietta shares what signals we need to keep our eyes open for. We often talk about fostering a growth mindset in our children, but how do we lean into a grown mindset when it comes to our parenting style? This is real neuroscience, and everyone can grow and change. What do you do when something doesn’t work? What can you learn in those tough moments and the parenting mistakes? You are capable of this! We wrap the Founders Series with a metaphor that we started with - how do we set our kids up for adulthood with a U-Haul full of tools instead of a U-Haul full of trauma? Kids don’t have to learn from painful experiences. We can teach life skills in a way that sets our child(ren) up with a loving, encouraging inner voice. We can be grateful for what we learned from our parents and still choose to parent differently. Takeaways from the show:Leaning into perseverance Fine tuning our inner listening What does this moment actually need? Being uncomfortable with your child Truly accepting your kids starts with acceptance of yourself Mirror neurons & empathy Growth mindset Staying hopeful “We choose the challenge.” Assuming positive intent, explaining intention, and collaborating with your child “You get to choose what’s hard.” Setting our kids up with a U-Haul of tools, not a U-Haul of trauma Gratitude for the lessons your parents taught you (and choosing to parent differently) There’s never been a better time for a parenting revolution, and we’re gaining momentum & resources Dignity & respect for all Sproutable’s mission statementFor more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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