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In what was supposed to be a "tamer" follow-up to their first election episode, Danielle and Adam just can't seem to get on the same page concerning influential commentators, and the impact they think listening has on opinions and mindset. Adam feels like he can listen without being truly "affected" by what they say, while Danielle is frustrated that Adam doesn't understand that some voices are more intrusive and influential than we think.
Some things they discuss:
What personality does Adam reveal he listens to (besides Rogan) that shocks Danielle and makes her question Adam's motivation for supporting certain public figures?Why does Adam feel that Danielle needed to "get over" the election so soon after it was over?Why do so many women say it's such a turnoff for their husbands to listen to Joe Rogan"Why does Danielle feel that Rogan is so much more of a negative figure for Adam than he realizes?What public figure does Adam dislike that Danielle listens to?Buckle up. This episode is WAY bumpier and more intense than originally planned. However, it's also a conversation that will most likely be relatable to many couples.
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Five days after the election, a tension has been brewing: in households, in friendships, and in society. While Danielle and Adam voted the same way, that doesn't at all mean they share the same experiences concerning politics and advocacy. Even though they've been together for 25 years, there have been a lot of times in which they felt differently concerning what type of role and voice they should each have in the world of social issues, engaging in social media, and even concerning their parenting. Danielle comes from a very political family. Adam does not. How have they navigated this terrain? They get into the deep reflection, and some extremely tense discourse, highlighting the differences they both face, and answering each others questions concerning:
Why has Danielle gotten so much more political in the past ten years?Why does Danielle feel so much more strongly about politics and social issues than Adam?What role does the election play in The Mental Load?How do they navigate relationships with people in their life whom they know voted for the opposite party?What issues are most important to each of them?What frustrations do they each feel how each of them react to and engage in politics?How do they plan on navigating the holidays amidst such a contentious time?Make sure to tune in for part two next week, when they discuss what public figures and influences have negatively impacted the way they relate to one another concerning issues?
What's the big deal about listening to Joe Rogan?
What does Adam think about "feminism" and the role it plays in Danielle and Mia's lives?
If you enjoyed this episode and gained something from it, please don't forget to rate and review on Apple and/or Spotify. Follow and subscribe to get all upcoming podcast episodes.
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It has taken over 22 years for Adam and Danielle to be able to have a conversation about the topic of finance without it ending in a fit of rage, resentment, and frustration. For the first time, they can each admit to their mistakes, and the ways they individually and cohesively have contributed to the mistakes they've made, and their negligence concerning preparing for the future. Yes, this is definitely a testament to the progress they've made and the incredible work they've done, but it doesn't change the fact that they'll be feeling the impacts of their poor decisions for years to come. This is a topic that is so seldom discussed by couples in a way that's so public and especially, so honest, that they weren't sure if they should edit some of it out. However, they decided not to touch it. Hopefully, their vulnerability will inspire other couples to have similar conversations, and even learn from Adam and Danielle's mistakes. More specifically, some of the issues they discuss surrounding money and finances in this episode are:
How differently they grew up regarding money and spending.How being a stay-at-home-mom impacted Danielle's ideas about financial decision making within their family.The frustration of being the person in charge of buying the daily necessities for the household vs. the frustrations of being the one in charge of paying the bigger bills.How "keeping up with the joneses" has impacted them, especially regarding raising kids.How honest should we be with our kids about our financial situation? What has caused this shift in Danielle's mentality concerning budgeting, and being an active participant in solving their financial issues?How our past experiences, as well as expectations about spending/money affects our overall mindset about what we need/want/deserve regardless of whether or not we can afford it.Stay tuned for part two of this topic, in which we delve even further into these issues and so much more!
Please don't forget to Rate and Review on Apple and or Spotify. A five-star rating truly helps us so much and only takes a minute.
Want to have this type of dynamic, gentle, honest conversation with you partner? Purchase the Date Night Questions print version, and use code "MNMPODCAST" for 20% off plus free shipping. Or, download it immediately with the ebook version, and use code "RECONNECT" for 15% off.
Trying to incorporate more gratitude, equity, and understanding into your relationship, use the framework that got Adam and Danielle to the place they are now as a couple, by purchasing the Small Change, Big Impact Challenge, and use code "SCBI15" for 15% off!
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Is there a such thing as too many discussions about the mental load? Until it stops being one of the most complicated issues in relationships, the answer is definitely no. Danielle and Adam were so happy that Zach joined them for a conversation about all the different facets and nuances about the mental load which are rarely discussed. In fact, for a couple that has spoken more about this topic than most partners, they each learned a lot of new, insightful information. Plus, they discuss how far they've come since their devastating fight from one year ago, that almost caused Danielle to leave. Plus, with the upcoming holidays, the three of them tackle the different ways that time of year can make the division of mental and emotional labor even more complicated. This is another one of those episodes that you'll definitely want to share with your partner and ask them to listen. There is a lot of great info in this discussion.
Follow Zach on instagram, and check out his awesome coaching and facilitator services on his website.
Be sure to sign up for the Marriage and Martinis Holiday Challenge, if you often feel like the sole magic maker during the holiday season, leaving you exhausted and overwhelmed. Purchase the regular version for the downloads only, or join us for the 30-day interactive version starting October 27th. THIS WEEK ONLY: 20% off both versions of the holiday challenge. Discount applied at checkout.
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Danielle is officially in full-perimenopause mode. But even she doesn't know what that really means! For the first time ever, she and Adam sit down to discuss the basics of perimenopause and what it truly means to be in this stage of life. What does the term even mean? How long does it last? What are the symptoms? WHY TF DON'T WE KNOW MORE?! Danielle and Adam discuss all the things they don't understand and the stuff they want to understand more. This is an episode that every couple should listen to, and DEFINITELY every woman.
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Their wedding day is not really something about which Adam and Danielle talk very much. In fact, they don't even have a picture from their wedding day anywhere in their house. During this really in depth discussion, the two of them talk about everything from how Danielle rushed Adam into getting engaged, why getting married so young presented some problems for them, how discrepancies about how money should be spent led to contention, and why they actually wouldn't go back and change a thing. Plus, they share a lot of information from their listeners and community, and go into detail about what they will tell their own kids about weddings and marriage. Whether you're single, engaged, married, or divorced, this is an episode you will not want to miss.
https://www.marriageandmartinis.com/
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Until recently, the have been very few platforms available for women to share stories about their pregnancy, birth, and postpartum experiences. But amazing resources like The Birth Hour podcast are helping to change all of that. With more than 900 episodes, this podcast (named one of Time Magazine's 50 best podcasts), Bryn has offered hundreds of women a safe space to share their birthing stories, whether they were "regular," complicated, or "unconventional." This podcast opens up so many experiences surrounding pregnancy about which we're never introduced or educated, that is has literally saved lives. In this episode, Danielle has the honor of sitting down with Bryn to discuss everything from, why women are so judgmental of one another for making decisions that differ from their own, what do we need to each remember about birthing plans, and the reality surrounding unexpected occurrences and how they impact plans and hopes. Plus, Bryn talks about some of the most memorable and impactful stories she's heard over the years. Plus, what has Bryn learned from almost one thousand birth stories that she wants all of us to know, as well? Unfortunately, it's impossible to have every woman hear an episode, but Danielle truly hopes that each woman who listens will send this to someone else who might need to hear it. If you are unpacking your own birth experience(s), are hoping to one day give birth or know someone else close to you who is, or are just curious about all the different options, choices, and paths women take when having a child, you'll absolutely want to listen to this episode.
Follow Bryn on instagram at https://www.instagram.com/thebirthhour/. Check out the website at https://thebirthhour.com/, where you can access resources to help prepare for an upcoming birth. And, check out The Birth Hour podcast to hear Danielle's birthing story this week.
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In this fun, lighthearted episode, Adam and Danielle face off in a test of elementary school knowledge. Answering questions in vocabulary, grammar, math, science, history, and geography, each wants to see how much they've retained in the 35 years since they went through the fifth grade. Who winds up the winner? Are they able to fill in a map of the 50 United States? Of Europe? Of Canada? What do they not remember being taught? What do they each wish they'd be taught but haven't? Listen to the episode for some good laughs and to test your own knowledge and find out if YOU'RE smarter than a fifth grader.
Want to get our FREE version of the Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader? Sign up for emails and have it sent directly to your inbox later this week!
Want another Date Night activity that's fun and an incredible way to reconnect? Purchase The Date Night Questions and use code "RECONNECT" for 15% off the book and ebook versions.
Did you enjoy this episode and/or other Marriage and Martinis episodes? Don't forget to follow and subscribe, and it would mean so much if you would take a moment to rate and review.
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This episode is not AT ALL what Adam and Danielle had planned. But that's actually a good thing, because it winds up being one that's pretty impactful. After dropping Mia off at her second year of college, they reflect on her acknowledgement that after years of wanting to be a teacher, so has been brave enough to admit that maybe it isn't actually the path she wishes to pursue. As nervous as she was to admit this, Adam and Danielle are trying to convince her that sometimes life takes twists and turns, because we haven't been given the proper space to truly know what it is we want THE REST OF OUR LIVES to be like. At 40 years old, Adam and Danielle finally pursued a journey that felt more authentic to them, but both wish they had been given more options earlier in life. This leads them to discuss what is lacking along the way so that each of us can more openly and honestly decide the future that's "right" for us. What could schools and communities do to better open doors that otherwise young adults might not even know are there to open in the first place? How do we allow our youth to explore options without spending a fortune or giving them false hope? How much time is the right amount to try something before saying, "this isn't for me," and pivot in another, safer direction? For anyone who has had a child voice that they no longer have the same goals, despite the money, time, and effort spent on that dream, this episode is will offer the room needed to reflect on this redirection. For anyone who feels they were misguided, or rushed into a career or lifestyle, this episode is for you, too. We've all had moments where we wonder, "whose dream is this, anyway?" Let's figure out what to do with those REAL reflections.
Want to make room in your household for these conversations? Check out our Back To School toolkit, ("BTS15" for 15% off) meant to prompt conversations, and inspire a household vibe that feels safe enough to say the things that matter.
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The number one most requested guest listeners always ask to return is none other than Adam and Danielle's oldest daughter, Mia. After years of struggling to understand more about her identity and find a place for herself, Mia has learned that navigating life as a neurodivergent human is a multi-layered, complex journey filled with redirection and deep reflection. Mia openly reveals how life has changed since getting diagnosed with Autism and ADHD four years ago, and the ways she's learned to live in a way that balances her unique, individual needs with the social and academic requirements of college life. Mia walks us through her experience changing high schools, graduating, and her transition to living away from her parents. How has she managed to stay on top of her schoolwork while also having to figure out how to make new friends and keep on top of everyday routines that are more complicated for her than for most 18 year olds? What tips and strategies does she have that others can benefit from knowing about and incorporating into their daily life as a newly independent "adult?" Also, how has this whole experience changed the way Danielle and Adam parent, and how they view "success?" What do they wish they had known sooner and done differently? What concerns did they have, and how did they stay afloat when it seemed like maybe the hopes and goals they had for Mia wouldn't come to fruition? What do they want other parents to know about communicating with their kids about their needs and concerns? How have they managed the stress of having a struggling kid away and, at times, uncertain about what would come next? This is a must listen for all parents, and offers so many amazing insights and nuggets of invaluable information for any caretaker who is navigating life with a kid who doesn't always check all the proverbial boxes and fit neatly into the world, which is undoubtedly designed for neurotypical humans.
Check out our incredible Back To School Toolkit. This is your go-to âpositive vibesâ solution for a smoother, optimistic, and more supportive school year for everyone in your household.
Use code "BTS15" for 15% off.
If you loved this episode, you'll also love the Pivot episodes from August, 2022, when Adam and Danielle were going through their most difficult summer of parenting.
Check out our Back to School essentials, *Mia Silverstein approved.
Make sure you're signed up for Marriage and Martinis' emails to find out about exciting upcoming events and episodes.
And check out our products, and our new Back to School Preparation Toolkit for parents (available this week) and other bestselling, wildly-popular resources for couples and parents.
"BTS15" for 15% off our Back To School Toolkit.
"CHALLENGEVIP" for 20% off our "Small Change, Big Impact" Challenge.
"RECONNECT" for 15% off our record-breaking Date Night Questions e-book and book.
If you loved this episode, or any other Marriage and Martinis episode, please take a moment to rate and review on Apple and/or Spotify. It really means the world to us.
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Danielle and Adam have just returned from their first REAL kidless vacation in around six years. They divulge everything - from why they chose this resort, to what Adam did for the first time ever, to why he wanted to turn the plane around halfway through the flight. How did being a "TV-less" resort impact their enjoyment? What shocking thing happened right in front of their hut? And what pet peeves did they have with one another throughout the trip? This is definitely an episode that will keep you entertained, and also inspire you to plan your next couples' getaway.
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What if you could sit down with your partner and ask them the questions you've ACTUALLY been wanting to ask? The ones that you aren't sure you want to know the answers to, or wish you had a truth serum to ensure they were being completely honest? That's exactly what Danielle and Adam do in this episode, and it definitely gets a tad intense at times. Danielle questions Adam about his complete lack of regard concerning certain aspects of his mental health, and why it worries her so much. Adam asks Danielle a questions that seems almost too complicated to answer in just a few sentences, and catches her off guard with an interesting type of "lightening round." Listen to find out what other questions cause some discomfort and make each of them do some serious reflecting.
BRAND NEW: Check out the brand new, 2.0 version of the Marriage and Martinis' Small Change, Big Impact Challenge. What would you have your partner take off your plate for thirty days? What would they have you take off of theirs? The Small Change, Big Impact Challenge tackles issues with the Mental load while gently guiding couples through a fun, unique, insightful experience quite like they've never done before. What might your relationship be like in thirty days? Use code "VIPCHALLENGE" for 20% off - our biggest discount, intended for listeners of the podcast!
Want to answer the same questions Adam and Danielle have asked one another throughout their most popular, impactful episodes? Grab our wildly popular Date Night Questions book or ebook. Use code "MNMPODCAST" for 20%!
If you enjoyed this episode, please don't forget to RATE AND REVIEW on Apple and/or Spotify. Rating and reviewing is one of the best ways to help your favorite independent podcasts. Thank you for supporting us!!
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When Danielle discovered Dr. Kat, she knew she needed to have her on to ask her about so many recent revelations sheâs had about her personal experience with perinatal OCD, birth trauma, and postpartum depression. As Danielle learns more and unpacks an experience she had almost 20 years ago, she canât help but wish she could go back and tell her younger self so many things. She canât, but she can ask the questions for the women who may encounter (or have encountered) similar issues during their pregnancies. This conversation is one that should be listened to be everyone, regardless of gender, marital and parenting status, and whether or not people personally deal with issues with perinatal Mental HealthâŠ.it absolutely should be on EVERYONEâS radar. Danielle and Dr Kat discuss:
âWhat exactly does the term âperinatal mental healthâ encompass?
âAre there regulations in place to ensure that OBGYNs are educated on modern discourse concerning PMH?
âWhat are Dr Katâs thoughts about waiting three months to tell people youâre pregnant?
âWhat necessary questions would she tell every couple (or single human looking to get pregnant) to ask prospective OBGYNâs before choosing a physician?
âWhat might be some prior warning signs that someone might encounter issues with perinatal mental health?
âWhat exactly is a âbirth trauma,â and how does a woman know whether or not she went through one?
âWhat does Dr. Kat want every person to know about perinatal mental health and how you can help someone who might be experiencing it in some way?
Make sure you follow Dr. Kat on IG at @momandmind and listen to her podcast Mom and Mind wherever you get podcasts.
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In what will most likely be the most honest conversation about masturbation you've ever heard a real couple have, Adam and Danielle answer every question you've been wanting to ask about self pleasure. The two discuss the first time they each discovered they were capable of achieving orgasm without a partner, and how their experiences with masturbation have continued throughout the years. Some extremely open and raw discussions include:
What are each of their routines before and following sessions of masturbation.Danielle asks Adam what his feelings are about mutual self-pleasure, and shares her past experiences.Adam discusses why he rarely makes time for self-pleasure, and what the circumstances are when he does.Danielle talks about why self-pleasure is one way women are absolutely the "luckier" gender.The two discuss sex toys such as "the fleshlight," "the stroker," vibrators," and "extra large replicas of the make sexual anatomy.Danielle asks Adam if he would ever experiment with Prostate play.The two, for the first time, reveal their fantasies during self-pleasure and why it's been such a questionable topic in the past.Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Listeners always ask Danielle and Adam to do an episode with their three kids, asking what it's like to have them as parents, and to have the podcast out there in the world for all to hear. Finally, the time has come for Danielle and Adam to sit down with each kid, individually, (Mia 18, Ean 16, and Jonah 12) to discuss all the questions about life with Danielle and Adam. Some questions include:
What are the best and worst things about having them as parentsIn what ways are Danielle and Adam "abnormal" parentsIn what ways has the podcast impacted their lives?What do they think the podcast is really about?What do they really think about Danielle's recent boudoir shoot?What do they think Danielle and Adam will be like as grandparents?And so much more!!
Download our Mother's Day activities here and use code "MAMALOVE" for 15% off.
Contact Evgenia to learn more about her special boudoir offer ONLY for listeners of Marriage and Martinis.
Check out Sojo Spa Club for the perfect Mother's Day experience, or just an experience to slow down and savor the day.
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In this episode, Danielle sits down with the amazing boudoir photographer, Evgenia Ribinik, to hear all about what it's like to be a part of such an intimate, momentous experience from the other side of the camera. The two discuss:
How Evgenia first got into boudoir photography.What Evgenia wants each person who enters her studio to learn and better understand about themself.The different reasons why women commit to having a Boudoir shoot, and why they feel they need to have this specific experience.How shooting couples in this intimate manner is different from shooting a woman or women.Do men usually respond differently to the photo shoot, and in what ways?What does she want her daughters to know about her work and why it's important?How this journey has bonded Danielle and Evgenia in a very unique and powerful way.To check out Evgenia's amazing work, visit her website.
Make sure to follow her on instagram at @evgeniaribinikstudios
To read Danielle's latest blog about her experience, click here.
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In this rollercoaster of an episode, Adam and Danielle get into a REAL conversation about what is still missing in the conversation about body image. Adam is honest about his thoughts on Danielle's weight gain, and the two get down and dirty about why they're both a little petrified for the future. Danielle reveals why she often wonders if she's "broken," and Adam reveals why he's been able to step up in a way he never has before. Plus, Adam hilariously throws Danielle under the bus concerning all of the ridiculous things she did while high, and Danielle calls Adam out on his "conditional love." Plus, what's with all the insane, recent orgasms?
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In this follow up episode from Danielle's Boudoir shoot, Adam and Danielle discuss how it felt to finally see the pictures, and how they handled posting pictures that most suburban moms don't reveal to over half a million people. What did Danielle say to her 15 year old son and how did that discussion go? How did she prepare people like her mother-in-law and others whom she was worried might feel uncomfortable with the situation? How did Adam react initially, and what was his ultimate takeaway from the whole experience? Plus, the two discuss:
Why is Danielle finally ready to reveal her size when she never has been before?An honest talk about period sex and why it's turned complicated with perimenopause.What negative comments did Danielle receive and how did she respond?How has this whole experience affected her confidence?What did guilt cause Danielle to do in the midst of all of this excitement?What would Adam like them to do as a couple that will even further their connection and sex life?Why was this one of the most memorable experiences Danielle has ever had?don't forget to follow Danielle's new hero @evginiaribinikstudios
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Danielle has wanted to work up the courage to have a Boudoir shoot for years. Finally, after finding a photographer she knew she could be comfortable with, she went to have this experience, without informing Adam. In this episode, the two discuss:
Why it was important to Danielle to do this without Adam knowing.Why it took so much courage to jump this hurdle and go through with the photoshoot.What Adam is most "concerned" about her posting the pictures.If Adam would be willing to go back and do a couples' shoot.How doing this shoot has affected Danielle's confidence, and more!To find out more about Danielle's amazing photographer, check out Evgenia Ribinik.
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Recently, Danielle heard something on Tik Tok that really struck her: "are we all just spending the second half of our lives recovering from the first half?" This got her thinking about all the things we're taught for so long while growing up, only to figure out that all of those messages and concepts are all just a bunch of BS. Are we all too "gaslit" to even know what we, as individuals, even want in life? How can we separate our own goals and desires with those we've been TOLD we should want? In this interestingly nostalgic-yet-eye-opening episode, Adam and Danielle discuss:
why weren't they taught more preparedness strategies for life in school, rather than subject matter that has proven to be almost totally obsoletewhy Danielle is no longer looking back on elementary school through rose-colored glasses, and how she thinks the whole experience affected her self-esteemwho the "cool kids" were in school, as opposed to who should have been deemed "cool"what messages were Adam fed about what being a boy means?what messages was Danielle fed about what being a girl means?what did they both get wrong about body image, and what do they now realize?in what ways have movies and TV shows helped in disseminating so many false messagesis chivalry still allowed?and so much more!
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