Episoder
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From episode #84 with Andrew Gurza. More from that episode:
- Andrew introduces himself
- Ableism and creating spaces for learning
- The sexual stigma of disability
- Disability representation in porn
- Considerations for sex with a disabled person
- The depth of âyesâ
- Andrewâs relationship with care
- Using social media to raise awareness
- Playing with identity, femininity and masculinity
- Assumptions about people with a disability
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From episode #84 with Tim Lagman. More from that episode:
- Tim shares about his escorting journey
- From escort to sex educator
- Masturbation vs Self-Pleasure
- Multi-orgasmic experiences
- Anal play, rimming and personal hygiene
- Edging techniques and strategies
- Stereotypes about Asian men
- The intersection of being Asian and gay
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Manglende episoder?
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On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Avalon Lust, the provocative name behind scorching hot erotica that ignites passion and desire. With a focus on short, tantalizing reads, Lust's stories are crafted to arouse and captivate, perfect for those seeking to spice up their intimate moments. But beware, these tales come with a trigger warning, ensuring readers are prepared for the steamy journey ahead. So, whether you're indulging alone or with a partner, dive into Lust's world and let your imagination run wild.
Key points:
Avalon's background and writing journey
Avalon introduces herself as an erotica writer who started writing after the pandemic, shifting from longer romance novels to shorter, more direct erotica. She discusses how her husband's frequent travel led her to seek out erotica over romance novels, as the erotica could be read when he was home. Avalon also shares that she draws inspiration from her own experiences, conversations with friends, and research to craft her stories.
Exploring themes and characters in Avalon's erotica
Avalon explains that her erotica primarily explores women's fantasies, though she has a sizable male readership as well. She covers a range of themes including group dynamics, role play, and elements of dominance. Avalon also discusses how she approaches describing physical attributes and intimate scenes, balancing realism with idealization.
The benefits of reading erotica
Avalon shares how reading and writing erotica has helped reignite the romance and intimacy in her own marriage. She also discusses the positive feedback she has received from readers, including one review where a husband thanked her for a "wonderful night" after his wife read her work.
Avalon's writing process and future plans
Avalon describes her current writing projects, including a holiday-themed anthology she is working on. She discusses the occasional writer's block she faces and how she overcomes it by stepping away from a project for a while. Avalon expresses a desire to be able to support herself financially through her erotica writing, though she sees it primarily as a passion project.
Recap and closing thoughts
Avalon and Cam discuss the benefits of reading erotica together as a couple, using it as a way to open up conversations about desires and fantasies. Avalon shares that her husband does read her completed works, providing support for her writing. Cam emphasizes the value of erotica as a creative outlet, especially for men exploring and expressing their .
Relevant links:
Avalon's latest book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0D9KRGKW9
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From episode #83 with Luna Agneya. More from that episode:
- Luna shares some of her story
- Integrating spirituality and sexuality
- Strategies for beginning shadow work
- Cultural vs personal shadows
- Integrating your shadow
- Generational trauma
- Shadow aspects of pornography
- Advice for people interested in shadow work
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On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Jenna Switzer. Jenna is a Holistic Sex Coach who helps you rediscover intimacy, playfulness, and sensuality in long-term relationships. With a unique blend of science, energetic practices, and real-life advice, she makes connection more fun and exciting. Jennaâs approach empowers couples to embrace deeper intimacy and rekindle passion in ways that feel authentic and enjoyable, both in and out of the bedroom. When sheâs not supporting her clients, youâll find her cuddling her Frenchie or chasing her next outdoor adventure.
Key points:
Introductions and background
Cam and Jenna introduce themselves and discuss their backgrounds. Jenna shares that she is a holistic coach focused on integrating all aspects of a person's life, not just intimate moments. Cam emphasizes the importance of curiosity as a foundation for his work.
Clients and common themes
Jenna explains that many of her clients struggle with a disconnect or shame around their pelvic/genital area, often stemming from trauma or conservative upbringings. Cam shares his dislike of the term "dysfunction" and preference for more nuanced language around experiences.
Reframing pleasure and intimacy
Cam and Jenna discuss the need to broaden the definition of pleasure beyond just /genital experiences. They emphasize the importance of curiosity, presence, and exploring the whole body rather than just focusing on performance or outcomes.
Practical strategies
Jenna shares a practice of creating a "non-sexual pleasures" list to help clients become more aware of and intentional about experiencing pleasure in daily life. Cam describes a "pleasure mapping" exercise to help clients explore sensations across their entire body.
Closing and resources
Jenna shares information about her online community "Behind Closed Doors" and a free downloadable resource on her website called "Simple Pleasures." Cam and Jenna express their shared passion for helping people live more pleasurable lives.
Relevant links:
Jenna's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jenna_switzer/
Jenna's website: https://www.jennaswitzer.com/
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From episode #82 with Lana Jade. More from that episode:
- Lana shares about her experience in the adult industry
- Integrating other modalities
- Emotional burnout and compassion fatigue
- Mentoring others in the industry
- Stigmatization from the Sacred Sexuality community
- âRealâ women vs adult performers
- Only Fans, camming, and authenticity
- Male clients, pleasure, and communication
- Advice for potential clients
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On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Matt Musgrave. Matt is the Principal Counsellor & Founder of Strong Space Counselling, an online group counselling practice specialising in supporting the mental health of men and fathers. With nearly a decade of experience in community services, including work as a probation and parole officer and facilitating menâs behavior change programs for those who used violence and coercive control in relationships, Matt brings a wealth of expertise and a unique perspective to his clinical practice. He is IFS (Internal Family Systems) Level 1 trained, feminist-informed, and gender-affirming, offering a deeply compassionate and inclusive approach to counselling. Matt empowers men to lead healthier, more authentic lives by fostering self-awareness and self-compassion as the primary foundations of his therapeutic methodology.
Key points:
Matt's background and expertise
Matt introduces himself as a men's mental health counselor running an online private practice in Australia. He has a background in history, domestic family violence, men's behavior change, probation/parole, and criminology. His main passions are working with men on trauma healing and supporting fathers/new dads.
Navigating masculinity in male-dominated environments
Matt reflects on the "hyper-masculine" cultures he experienced growing up and in his previous roles, where there was an "absence of alternative" expressions of masculinity. He describes the challenges of questioning and challenging these norms, and how he was often "bullied or pushed back into the box" of traditional stereotypes.
Anger as a common emotion for men
Matt observes that anger is a very accessible emotion for many of the men he works with, often used as a way to feel "in control" and "empowered" when dealing with hurt or trauma. He emphasizes the importance of creating space for men to fully experience and process their anger, rather than just trying to down-regulate it.
Navigating the landscape of men's mental health support
Matt shares his perspective on the challenges of advocating for more funding and resources for men's mental health, noting the complexities of comparing it to support for women. He expresses concerns about approaches that perpetuate rigid gender norms, and emphasizes the importance of creating spaces that allow men to explore masculinity in a more open and authentic way.
Gendered approaches in therapy
Matt explains that he takes a gender-affirming approach when working with men, drawing on his own experiences and training to better empathize with and support the unique challenges men face. He notes the importance of his team also doing their own personal work to show up in a more connected and compassionate way.
Relevant links:
Matt's Instagram: @strongspacecounselling
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From episode #81 with Jazmin Wu.
More from that episode:
- Jazmin shares about her journey with BDSM
- The spectrum of kink
- Holding space for submissives
- The submissive mentality
- Letting go of performance anxiety
- Reframing sexual validation
- Sexual symbols and rituals
- Boundaries, exploration, and safewords
- Sub-space and trance states
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On this episode, I chat with Ari Tuckman, PsyD. Ari is a psychologist, international presenter, author, and ADHD thought leader. He has given more than 650 presentations and podcast interviews and routinely earns excellent reviews for his ability to make complicated information understandable and useful. He is the author of four books, including his most recent, âADHD After Dark: Better Sex Life, Better Relationshipâ, "Understand Your Brain, Get More Doneâ, âMore Attention, Less Deficitâ and âIntegrative Treatment for Adult ADHDâ. He is a co-chair of CHADDâs conference committee and was awarded the 2023 Hall of Fame award for his significant contributions to the field. He is in private practice in West Chester, PA.
Key points
Ari's background and focus on ADHD in relationships
Ari Tuckman is a psychologist who has specialized in ADHD, particularly in adults, for over 25 years. He has become increasingly interested in the impact of ADHD on relationships and couples, as he felt this was an important but under-discussed aspect of the condition.
Prevalence and diagnosis of ADHD
Ari discusses the prevalence of ADHD, noting that it affects around 4-5% of adults. He explains that ADHD is often underdiagnosed in adults, as clinicians tend to focus more on identifying it in children. Ari also notes that there can be a "two-for-one" diagnosis, where a child's ADHD diagnosis leads a parent to realize they also have the condition.
Differences in ADHD symptoms between genders
Ari explains that the core ADHD symptoms are similar across genders, but the way ADHD manifests can differ due to societal expectations and gender roles. Women and girls may be more inclined to try to hide or compensate for their ADHD symptoms, while boys and men may have more "permission" to be openly disruptive.
Levels of ADHD severity and associated factors
Ari discusses how ADHD can vary in severity, and how other factors like anxiety, depression, substance use, and personal strengths/protective factors can impact the experience of ADHD. He notes that ADHD is not a one-size-fits-all condition.
ADHD and occupational/recreational interests
Ari shares that while there are some common occupational and recreational interests associated with ADHD (like sales), people with ADHD can thrive in a wide variety of fields if they find work that engages their interests and strengths.
ADHD and intimacy
Ari explains how ADHD can impact intimacy and , such as difficulty transitioning into a mindset or getting distracted during intimate moments. He emphasizes the importance of being intentional, flexible, and focused on the process rather than performance.
Strategies for managing ADHD in relationships
Ari provides several recommendations for partners of those with ADHD, including educating themselves on the condition, being intentional about scheduling and communication, and focusing on the positives and complementary strengths in the relationship rather than just the challenges.
Recap and closing thoughts
Ari and Cam conclude the discussion by emphasizing the importance of flexibility, creativity, and appreciating the unique strengths each partner brings to the relationship, even when there are significant differences like ADHD.
Relevant links:
Ari's website: â https://adultadhdbook.com/speaking/â
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From episode #80 with Brad Gage.
More from that episode:
- Brad shares about his upbringing
- How do media images of men affect our lives?
- Toxic vs positive masculinity
- Stereotypical portrayals of men
- Representations that challenge stereotypes
- Critically thinking about media
- The importance of diverse representation
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On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Melissa Hadley Barrett. Melissa is a Nurse Practitioner and Sexologist from Western Australia with over 20 years of experience. She is the Principal, Director and lead clinician of Restoring Menâs Intimate Health (RMIH) Pty and Restorative Sexual Health Clinic (RSHC) Pty Ltd. Melissa is an advocate for sexual health and regularly engages in public speaking and education regarding sexual health, particularly prostate cancer for both health professions and community members. Melissa has co-founded the Penis Project Podcast, which shares real-life stories to support learning and offer support, gaining a worldwide audience.
Key points:
Melissa's background and expertise
Melissa introduced herself as a nurse practitioner and sexologist who runs the Restorative Health Clinic. She specializes in helping couples and men navigate intimacy, relationships, and sexual function, taking a holistic approach that addresses both the physical and psychological aspects.
Treating dysfunction in cancer patients
Melissa explained that about two-thirds of her clients are prostate or bladder cancer patients, as the treatments for these cancers can significantly impact sexual function. She described how the nerves that control erections can be damaged, leading to issues like erectile dysfunction and Peyronie's disease. Melissa emphasized the importance of rehabilitation to maintain penile health and function during this recovery period.
Overcoming stigma and shame around sexual health
Melissa discussed how many cancer patients feel guilty or ashamed about wanting to maintain their sex life, believing they should just be grateful to be alive. She works to reframe this mindset, emphasizing that quality of life and intimacy are important, and that positive outcomes can come from adversity. Melissa also highlighted the need to involve partners in these conversations to address misconceptions and provide support.
Educating healthcare providers
Melissa shared how she works to upskill other healthcare providers, like GPs and urologists, to have open conversations about sexual health with their patients. Even if they don't have the expertise to provide comprehensive treatment, she encourages them to at least ask about it and provide referrals to appropriate specialists.
Melissa's resources and programs
Melissa described the various online programs and resources she offers, including rehabilitation programs for issues like erectile dysfunction, Peyronie's disease, and premature ejaculation. She also highlighted her podcast, The Penis Project, which features real stories from clients about their experiences.
Relevant links:
Melissa's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melissahadleybarrett/
Melissa's website: https://melissahadleybarrett.com/
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From episode #79 with Jordan Hackett.
More from that episode:
- Jordan shares some of his story
- There is nothing wrong with male sexuality
- The importance of rites of passage
- Unintentional sexual initiations
- Elements of initiation ceremonies
- Challenges, choice, and agency
- Liberation and shame
- Tantrikas, Dakinis, and Sex Goddesses
- Initiations for young people and societal barriers
- Sexual debuts and ongoing exploration
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On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Katia Schwartz. Katia is a disability and sex worker rights activist, with a career in the sex industry spanning over 16 years. As a profoundly deaf, queer sex worker, Katia navigates unique intersections and is passionate about advocating for the destigmatisation and inclusion of marginalised groups.
Episode transcript: CLICK HERE
Key points:
Introductions and background
Katia introduces herself as a deaf, disabled sex worker who lives on Gadigal land in Sydney and does advocacy work for the disabled and sex worker communities. Cam shares that he previously wrote a blog post about the appropriation of sex worker aesthetics, in which he quoted Katia.
Katia's experience on SBS Insight
Katia describes being approached by the producers of the SBS Insight TV show to appear on an episode about "Convenient Relationships" and transactional relationships. She made her access needs clear, including requiring an Auslan interpreter and accurate closed captions, which the producers agreed to. However, when the episode aired, the captions were poor quality and not synced properly, making it inaccessible for Katia. She tried to resolve the issue with the network but faced dismissive responses.
Misconceptions about disability and sex work
Katia discusses common misconceptions people have about disabled people and sex workers, including the assumption that disabled people cannot or should not engage in sexual activity. She shares examples of inappropriate questions she's received, like "How do you have sex if you're deaf?" Katia explains how her disability informs and enhances her sex work in positive ways, like her heightened sensory awareness and communication skills.
Advice for allies and advocates
Katia provides advice for allies and advocates, emphasizing the importance of listening to marginalized voices, being open to feedback, and amplifying the perspectives of those with lived experiences. She encourages people to diversify their social media feeds and be mindful of the representation and narratives they consume.
Wrap-up and resources
Katia shares how to find and connect with her online, including her Instagram handle and website. Cam thanks Katia for the insightful conversation and the opportunity to learn.
Relevant links:
Katia's website: www.thegingerdoll.com
Katia's Instagram: www.instagram.com/katiaschwartz -
From episode #79 with David Chambers.
More from that episode:
- David shares about his work and passions
- Purpose vs passion
- Co-creating attraction and intimacy
- Overthinking and anxiety
- Treating dating like a video game
- Invitations vs expectations
- British masculinity and being a Black man
- Race and the white spirituality community
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On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Danielle Bezalel, MPH, aka DB (she/her/hers). Danielle is the Creator, Executive Producer, and Host of the â Sex Ed with DBâ podcast, a feminist podcast bringing you all the sex ed you never got, centering LGBTQ+ and BIPOC experts. Danielle earned a Master of Public Health with expertise in sexuality, sexual, and reproductive health from Columbia University. Danielle lives in Oakland, CA. Go toâ www.sexedwithdb.comâ to learn more about the podcast and get discounts on DBâs faves â hereâ . You can listen to the podcast on â Apple Podcastsâ ,â Spotifyâ , â Soundcloudâ , or wherever you get your podcasts. Follow Sex Ed with DB onâ TikTokâ ,â Instagramâ ,â Twitterâ , and â YouTubeâ .
Key points:
Introductions and background
Danielle introduces herself as a sex educator and podcast host, sharing her passion for providing medically accurate, pleasure-centered sex education. Cam shares that his wife is also a musician and has done work related to birth and postpartum.
Defining pleasure-centered sex education
Danielle and Cam discuss what it means to have a "pleasure-centered" approach to sex education, focusing on topics like birth control, STIs, LGBTQIA+ health, consent, and the physical and emotional aspects of sex. They emphasize the importance of using scientifically-backed, non-judgmental, and inclusive language.
Danielle's "Magic Wand" self-pleasure experiment
Danielle shares details about a self-experiment she conducted using a Magic Wand vibrator, tracking the impact on her health, mood, and sexual experience over three weeks. The results showed decreased stress and anxiety, more positive moods, and increased libido when using the Magic Wand daily.
Navigating public discussions about and intimacy
Cam and Danielle discuss the challenges of having public conversations about sex, particularly for men. They explore the differences in how men and women are typically portrayed when discussing their masturbation habits, and the importance of creating safe spaces for open, non-judgmental dialogue.
Closing thoughts and resources
Danielle shares some final wisdom about the importance of self-love and appreciation, and provides information about how to connect with her through her podcast, social media, and an upcoming workshop on building a profitable online education business.
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From episode #76 with Melanie Curtin.
More from that episode:
- Melanie shares about her work and research
- Healing from religious trauma
- Creating safety for men to explore sexuality
- 70% of men are not good in bed
- âToo much, too fastâ
- Expectations of male sexuality
- Teasing and touching a woman
- Creating safety for women to explore sexuality
- Communication skills
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On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Jimanekia Eborn. Jimanekia Eborn is a Queer Sexual Assault & Trauma Expert, Trauma Media Consultant, and Comprehensive Sex Educator. She is the host of Trauma Queen - a podcast working to normalize conversations about life's most challenging experiences, from sexual assault to mental health and beyond. Jimanekia is the Founder of Tending The Garden- a nonprofit in service of sexual assault survivors who have been marginalized; offering retreats, online summits, community and education. She is also the co-founder of Cintima, bringing increased representation to the field of Intimacy Coordination in the film industry.Key points:Introductions and backgroundJimanekia introduces herself, sharing her full name and background. She describes herself as an inquisitive, question-asking person who has experienced various traumas and is now dedicated to supporting others navigating difficult experiences. She outlines her diverse work, including the Jimanekia project focused on assault, her trauma-focused podcast, an intimacy coordinator training company, and her role in the mental health department of a professional wrestling company.Trauma-informed support and advocacyJimanekia discusses her approach to supporting survivors, emphasizing the importance of allowing them to guide the conversation and decide how they want to share their experiences. She contrasts this with common unhelpful responses that project assumptions or make demands of survivors. Jimanekia also highlights the need for more trauma-informed support, especially for marginalized groups and men, who often face additional stigma and barriers to disclosing.Navigating trauma and consentThe conversation explores the complexities around trauma, consent, and gender. Jimanekia and Cam discuss the societal pressures and norms that can prevent men from recognizing or disclosing their experiences of abuse, as well as the tendency to dismiss or trivialize these experiences. They emphasize the importance of creating safe spaces for all survivors to be heard and supported without judgment.Systemic change and accountabilityJimanekia and Cam discuss the need for broader systemic changes to address the root causes of violence and trauma, such as harmful gender norms, power imbalances, and lack of accountability. They highlight the responsibility of institutions and communities to proactively create safer environments and provide comprehensive support for survivors, rather than placing the burden on individuals.Closing thoughtsJimanekia closes the conversation by offering encouragement and validation to any male survivors listening, emphasizing that their experiences are not their fault and that there are supportive communities available to them.Relevant links:Jimanekia's Instagram: @jimanekiaJimanekia's websites: https://traumaqueen.love/ and https://www.cintima.co/
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From episode #75 with Darragh Stewart.
More from that episode:
- Darragh shares some of his story
- Religion and the lack of embodiment in Ireland
- Alcohol and drinking culture
- The quintessential Irish man
- Exploring sexuality in menâs work
- Lad culture and banter
- Psychedelic ceremonies and menâs circles
- Attitudes towards psychedelics
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On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with William Moore. William is the founder of the Dallas-based biohacking clinic AdvancedYOU and the visionary behind PhalloFILLÂź, the leading network for non-surgical penile girth enhancement. After launching in 2021, PhalloFILL now spans 20 U.S. markets, Mexico City, and Montreal, solidifying its status as the largest and most accessible treatment for penile girth enhancement. Beyond the clinics, Moore is the President of the Texas Med Spa Association, advocating for LGBTQ+ rights and healthcare equality. With an MBA and an M.S. in Health and Human Performance, William draws on two decades of experience to guide patients to optimal health, enhanced appearance, and heightened self-esteem.
Key points:
- William introduces himself
- What is PhalloFILL
- Length vs Girth
- Treatment options
- Do you need to be bigger?
Relevant links:
William's website: https://phallofill.com/locations/texas/dallas/
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From episode #74 with Aren Bahia.
More from the episode:
- Aren shares about his âEat, Pray, Loveâ journey
- Catalysts for transformation
- Learnings from organized crime
- Practical aspects of spirituality
- Compartmentalization, context and authenticity
- The âBad Boyâ mask: Performing masculinity
- Self-pleasure, self-care, sex, and sensuality
- Defining presence and being present
- Owning your arousal and communicating with a partner
- Vis mere
