Episoder
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Twisted Monk Talks About Responding To Recent Fetlife Controversy
Mistress Matisse listens and talks with Twisted Monk, as he discusses the problems of women on Fetlife being targeted for data-scraping and reposting by online harassers, and possible responses that users can make to that. This is a serious topic, and it is intended to spark more conversations. For example: how can we create more safety for people online? And how do we respond to businesses who claim to be part of the BDSM community, but aren't responsive to the needs of that community?
About 16 minute -
This is an informal test podcast, about 12 minutes. Monk and I talk about one time when I walked in on him when he was getting ready for a BDSM session in my space, and the things were not...quite what I expected. #sexwork #BDSM
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Manglende episoder?
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Twisted Monk and I read a letter from someone who wants her boyfriend to have a two-man threesome with her. He refuses to do so, she wants advice on how to change his mind.
We talk about how we get a lot of letters from listeners/readers who ask: how do I get my partner to do X? It's a tough thing to give advice on. We propose that if you want good advice on that sort of subject, we need to hear both sides of the story!
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BDSM techniques, in todayâs new podcast: Monk and I talk about putting Altoids mints and Listerine Breath Strips in female pink parts. Naturally, I talk some about boy bits as well. Plus, why youâll want some milk on hand for this type of play. About nine minutes, not work safe!
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Monk and I have a brief discussion about our ability to fight off an attack by maniacal clowns. Then we answer a letter from a woman who wants to be a sex worker, and who made the mistake of asking strippers for advice about being an escort. So, thoughts about sex work hierarchies, and how sex work businesses are like Fight Club. Hope itâs educationalâŠ
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In this episode, Monk and I briefly discuss how the Zombie Apocalypse would affect my diet Mountain Dew consumption. A letter from a dominant woman who feels nervous about her scenes. Key point: sheâs eighteen years old. How should a young kinky person build confidence?
And I also have to blow a kiss to Monk, because this is the Official Weeklong Celebration of His Birth! No mere birthDAY for Monk, no no! He has a week! (Perhaps longer, if the bourbon and cute girls hold out.) So Happy BirthWeek to you, sweetheart!
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In this podcast, Monk and I riff about phallic microphones and then read and discuss a letter from a reader pondering how to begin a polyamorous relationship. How do you treat the other significant others?
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Monk and I have been so busy the last month, we have had no time to get down to the studio where we usually record our podcasts. So while it offends Monkâs production-quality sensibilities, I persuaded him to record what I will call some âQuick and Dirtyâ audio files, on a little consumer-grade digital voice recorder I have.
I personally think the sound quality is perfectly fine for what it is, and it means that we can read some of the letters that are stacking up. In this podcast: a kinky college student asks about how to handle kink-negative parents. (About ten minutes.)
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TwistedMonk and I recorded what I am calling a "Quick and Dirty" podcast last week. We didn't have access to our usual sound-studio, so this is lower quality than we prefer, but it's better than nothing, right?
In this edition, we answer a reader's fashion question, and discuss using one's kinky attitude to get the attention of dismissive salespeople. About ten minutes. -
Time for another podcast! In this one, Monk reads an original poem â or at least, we hope it is original â sent to him by a reader. And he reads it in the voice of William Shatner, because the William Shatner-voice makes everything better.
Moving on, we read a letter from a kinky person asking basically, how to keep a pleasant sexual tension alive in a long-term relationship. This is a type of question that we get a lot, so we both have plenty to say about it. As a man whoâs been happily married for over twenty years, Monk waxes particularly eloquent. High point: he compares BDSM to Pokemon. Iâm serious.
About fourteen minutes.
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Another podcast, and another riff from Monk about how Iâm playing with my nipple. Even though Iâm not.
Then letters: a letter from a listener asking about jealousy and a three-way. Threesomes are fraught with peril, in my opinion. The best threesome experiences I have had were in situations where no one was in a couple. Three single people, in other words. An established couple plus one? Thatâs a very tricky situation. Monk and I step through some of the ways it could happen.
Next, a question from a BDSM person whoâs wondering about how to answer a friendâs question, âAm I cut out to be a slave?â
The last letters asks, âIs it fair for a people in a polyamory group to veto the partners of other partners?â Monk and I both have some opinions about the term âvetoâ and making rules that create the illusion of control over other people.
About twenty minutes.
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A new podcast!
First of all, I was not playing with my nipple while we were recording, all right? Let the record show. The bomb shelter weâre doing these things in is freezing cold, so I was actually wearing a leather jacket. A motorcycle-style jacket, so thatâs two layers of leather over my chest. You could not have found my nipple with a sonogram. Thatâs just Monk being silly.
Our first question is a letter from someone who asks what to do when youâre caught in a sexy, kinky situation and you want to do bondage, but you have no rope? Monk and I free associate about improvised bondage equipment. (We did not use the microphone cables for bondage though. The sound guys frown on that.)
Then a BDSM newcomer asks: explain to me why I should get involved with the BDSM community? The short answer is: theyâll teach you things you might not otherwise know, and theyâll be support for you when things are tough.
Lastly, a sex worker asks a question about emotional relationships with clients. Itâs a nuanced issue, and it underlines the fact one really cannot generalize about how sex workers feel about what they do. All the experiences are equally valid, but weâre different. I get sort of uncharacteristically woo-woo about my feeeeeeeeelings in this one, but the take-away quote is: âIf you hate your clients, youâll hate yourself.â
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A new podcast! Monk and I answer your questions about primary/secondary partners in polyamory â can one person in a relationship in a âprimaryâ and the other person be a âsecondaryâ?
The seconds question is about dealing with unexpected interruptions during a scene.
The last question: how do you introduce yourself to a celebrity (like me, but definitely not limited to me), and general social tips for BDSM culture.
By popular request, weâve gone to a slightly longer format for this one, itâs about eighteen minutes. Not at all safe for work!
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A new podcast! We answer a letter from someone who is new at being the top in a scene, and who is struggling with playing with people who donât disclose important medical/emotional before the scene. Short answer: it's not perfect, but people do that. Roll with it.
Then we hear from someone who wants to know how to coverbruises, so we talk about that some. I talk about my stripper days of putting make-upon my ass⊠And mention some other kinky activities that leave marks onsocially-visible areas of the body.Enjoy listening! -
This one's a lulu. Now, let me say that Monk and I are practitioners ofsafer safe, and we want to help people learn how to do safer sex. Weare sympathetic to people who are nervous about STDs. That said, thereis a right way and a wrong way to handle this conversation with a new partner, and in this show, we read a letter from someone who did it the wrong way!
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Monk starts off with a letter from a sex worker asking abouthow to handle curious phone calls. Iâm embarrassed to say that the word âmotorboatâis mentioned. I also mention my oft-repeated bit of sex work advice, âDonât sayanything you wouldnât want read out loud in court.â
Then we hear from a reader who thinks that only male dominants(not female ones) get teased, or harshly critiqued. I laugh for a while, andthen I explain how thatâs not true. Although I do offer some harsh critiqueabout people who say âdom-mayâ. About 12 minutes, not work safe.
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A fresh podcast! And I think this one gets to a new high incompletely non-serious silly riffing.
First, thereâs a whole bunch of insane nonsense about doingan all-musical-version of the podcast. (Which makes no sense, donât try tofigure it out.)
Then a reader asks us about making kink toys out of everydaything â so we riff about pervertables, always a fun topic. And Monk offers usall the reasons why rope is so wonderful.
Then we read a letter from a kinky reader asking us why BDSMpeople donât like to kiss. (We kid the guy a bit, but then, we do that toeveryone.)
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In this podcast, Monk and I read and answer a letter about how to meet kinky romanticpartners, and then a letter from a woman who is struggling with herfeelings about humiliation in BDSM porn and erotica, and who iswondering if being African-American is part of that.
Take-home quote: "It's only porn if you make money from it. If you're not going to make any money from it, it's not porn, it's erotica."
(Ten minutes, definitely not work safe.) -
I wasnât going to upload this last podcast. But Monk says Iâm being silly. And lord knows, I need the blog-content, I've been way too busy to write much lately.
So, I am ignoring a voice in the back of my head that says itâs slightly undignified. Unladylike, in fact.
Yes, I know â I donât feel the slightest qualm about posting photos of myself sticking needles in people. That's perfectly dignified. It's kinky, but it's not undignified.
But I do feel that it is slightly undignified to post slightly-tipsy rants about one of my pet topics: Crazy People And Sex Work.
Just to be clear â thank you, President Obama â I am not disclaiming the basic opinions I express here. I just wish I had voiced them a trifle less profanely and a trifle less⊠stridently. Whoops.
There's also a whole side conversation about fisting, in which I make an ill-advised personal disclosure.
Thus, I bring to a close the era of cocktails while podcasting. Enjoy us in all our ranty glory, the next round will be far more calm, sober and public-radio-esque. (Well, I will be, at least. I cannot speak for Monk.) -
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First letter: when to disclose to a potential new partner that you are poly, if they donât know already.
And then: dealing with weirdness from your partnerâs other partners. (AKA âmetamoursâ.)
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