Episoder
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The time has come to take my 45th consecutive leap of faith. Reminding myself that every waking moment is more time to recommit to the version of life I want to be living. Which is audacious at the minimum. After some serious debriefs with my fear and anxiety, Iāve decided to record a video podcast episode. While this may not seem like a big deal to you, itās huge to me. My life is a movie, and itās strange not to be documenting it as such. Talking about the irony (and shame spiralling) of finding out from the internet that being my regular self is perceived as being taboo, controversial and hectic. AND WHAT IT FEELS AND FELT LIKE TO LIVE WITH THAT BURDEN.
With upcoming travels to Morocco, Ghana, and Mexico on the horizon, Iām sharing my thoughts on being brave, making intentional choices, and embracing the freedom to express yourself in any environment. Iām chatting astrology AND more specifically the birth chart of this baby of mine, No Deep Dives (yes, you can cast a birth chart for a business, so why wouldnāt I)š
If youāre interested in learning more about astrology and interpreting your own chart, join my Patreon @moreflexmami
You can now watch this episode on YouTube!!!
Timestamps
00:00 Iām getting tingles
00:44 see me in 2D ie. YouTube
01:43 todayās oxymoron : navigating internet safety
07:21 packing up & travelling the world!
19:05 yes this podcast has a birth chart
21:08 Virgo Rising: The Essence of Perfection
22:58 understanding Black Moon Lilith energy, also should I change my name to Lilith?!
25:01 No Deep Divesā Virgo Rising and personal standards
26:31 Scorpio Moon: cathartic conversations
29:39 Aries North Node: embracing boldness
37:56 growing and connecting
41:26 documenting authenticity in a misinformed world
42:20 the world needs to hear me
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I donāt know if you can ever really prepare for a significant perspective shift in a way that self-indulgent self development makes it feel. The whole time youāre working towards being better, remembering what itās like to be in a body youāve never left.
I love when an online scroll bears fruit. I saw a video from a TikTok creator called Beyond Codependant who shares their matrix of people pleasing. WHICH INVOLVES MORE ARCHETYPES OF PEOPLE PLEASERS. SO COOL.
Thereās the people manager, the caretaker, the matcher, and of course, the classic people pleaser. In exploring how these roles show up in relationships, itās reminding me why itās important to get to know your faves deeply. Not scripting through the relationship. And because you know I love it, I also tie it all into astrology ā especially the 11th house ā to explain how your sign and modality can influence your social dynamics.
In the spirit of sharing, Iāll also open up about my own experiences with setting boundaries, managing relationships, and the power of being self-aware. Itās like a cosmic roadmap to healthier connections, with a little DIY fashion inspiration thrown in. āØš«
Listen immediately and tell your friends to tell a friend āļøāļøāļøāļøāļø
If youāre interested in learning more about astrology and interpreting your own chart, join my Patreon @moreflexmami
Timestamps
00:00 mexico flex speaking
00:46 four types of pleaser
01:54 why do you have boundaries
06:39 zodiac vs. society
18:01 the pleaserās dilemma
32:44 exercise the fast fashion demons
35:19 miss you dearly
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Manglende episoder?
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In the most dramatic way possible (and without having read the book or watched the movie) i understand the eat, pray, love lady. Seeing new places changes you from the INSIDE OUT. ALSO IM RECORDING THIS FROM FRIDA KAHLOās HOME TOWN AHHH!!!! CoyoacĆ”n, Mexico City! šāØ Thereās really something about those cosmic nudges that keep showing up (hello, synchronicities!), reminding you that there is a magical art to being self aware. Or at least aware of your experiences as youāre experiencing them. Also, who was going to tell me how you can your emotions to MAKE decisions not just a tool to REFLECT on decisions already made???? Theyāre basically your personal GPS for making better life choices.
Iām recognising that paying attention to the small, sparkly moments can actually guide you toward a more intentional, values-driven lifestyle. Ofcourse Iāve imbued this episode with a perfect combination of astrology insights, lived lessons from my own experiments to live with more purpose. It's like a cosmic treasure map, but way more fun. āØšŗ
Until next time!
Timestamps
00:00 im falling in love
02:17 awareness (itās always been you)
09:08 not ājustā angel numbers
14:40 glimmer glee & nudge navigation
22:28 feeling as you feel it
31:34 synchronicities are following me around the world?
35:08 final thoughts until we meet again
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Normalcy? In 2024? Are you sure? Iām trying to unpack how niche behaviours, trends and belief systems have exploded into the mainstream, making everything feel ānormalā and yet totally strange at the same time. Australians online are becoming hyper aware and paranoid of cool in a way that feels uncharacteristically American.
Weāll also dive into the mental gymnastics of trying to be aware of what is popular and important to people (thus cool) and the ever shifting standards. Also!! Didnāt Carl Jung teach us about individuation for a reason. The belief that knowing and celebrating the chosen self is far more important than confirming.
Timestamps
00:00 intro + iphone notes
01:30 the elusive concept of normalcy
02:43 Australian coolness and American takeover
06:09 the sisyphean pursuit of normal and cool
15:32 donāt deny what is happening in the shadows
17:49 light + shadow = individuation
24:02 creative practices and wrapping up
Links
Carl Jung Shadow Work
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Ok, hold on tight because in this episode weāre getting intimate with this sometimes strange concept of ādoing the workā! Examining through various lenses including philosophy, personal growth & astrology (naturally).
Posing the question - how profound can our daily routines and disciplined efforts be in our lives? Weāre getting juicy as we delve into philosophies like Carl Jungās shadow work, Brene Brown and more!
Dipping into vibes of the Sixth and Tenth Houses in astrology we reflect on how these houses are all about mastering yourself, giving back, and shining in the public eye. Weāll chat about how to juggle your everyday tasks while staying true to your bigger goals, shake off old biases, and break free from what society expects. Itās all about boosting self-awareness and making real, meaningful changes in your life!
Timestamps
00:00 itās me again
00:33 what even is doing the work
04:17 what we do in the shadows; Shadow Work and Self-Examination
07:51 therapeutic and healing work
14:55 perfecting the process; thank you sixth house
21:43 hello tenth house giving us every day maintenance
24:21 the essence of Leo in the sixth house
24:40 is it whatās inside that counts? Balancing validation and internal work
27:00 the natural zodiac and sixth house rulership
28:34 the sixth house is deep
31:57 Mercury's influence on the sixth house
33:29 letās get to understand the tenth house
35:16 GO TIME: Societal Expectations vs Personal Ambitions
40:44 we love synergising energies in the Birth Chart
41:59 shadow work journal prompts
42:52 you know where to find me
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I love being a statistic. Mindfulness and routines are actually working for me. As in, I donāt wake up with a pit in my chestgood and a looming sense of Iike that later is validated by the horrorās on my timeline. Who knew that structure can equal freedom, they should teach us this in school , or maybe they did & I wasnāt listening! Iām chatting about some of the things that make up my regular routines, yoga, massages, and morning pages. Iāll break down the sticky, tricky world of discipline and how those vexatious thought loops can hold us back. Iāll also share some thoughts on why traditional talk therapy might not tackle the bigger picture.
With a sprinkle of wisdom from the Gita and my counselling studies, Iāll talk about syncing your values with your actions, consciously uncoupling from overthinking, and making choices that help you grow. As always, astrology is linked to EVERYTHING so you can hear all about how the sixth house connects to this discussion. This episode really has it all, listen immediately!
Here's my Instagram š§æ
Timestamps
00:00 sweetie pies, itās me
01:13 talk therapy woes
04:34 neoliberal influence on self-optimisation
07:13 I feel so ME with my somatic and daily routines
14:43 action vs. intellectualising
17:11 soft muscles = emotional growth
21:12 getting out of your mind to get into yourself; breaking intellectual thought loops
23:47 taming perfectionism and self-doubt
25:11 action vs. inaction: lessons from the Gita
28:09 the pleasure of simple mindfulness practices: disrupting the mental loop
31:32 bridging the knowing and the doing through embodied values
32:25 final thoughts and farewell, miss you dearly
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In this episode of the No Deep Dives podcast, Iām excavating my brain to discuss themes such as community, cisheteropatriarchy, and the concept of ideas as relationships. I like to personify my thoughts to understand them so Iām delving into how attention, focus, and creating mental space influence creativity. Plus I'll share my experiences with acupuncture, yin-yang energy balance, and the significance of integrating mind, body, and spirit for holistic well-being. As I think about my path to avoid burnout, let me stress the need for practical self-care and the importance of sharing knowledge to evolve and regulate emotions collectively. We'll wrap things up with a call for engagement, somatic suggestions, and an invitation to keep the conversation going - yes I'm talking to YOU!!
TIMESTAMPS
00:00 hello sweetie pies
01:09 the art of personifying ideas to understand them
08:08 you won't believe how I'm draining my yang energy
13:57 what my body trying to tell me uncovered through acupuncture and somatic practices
20:01 if you're thinking too much in meditation you're not meditating
26:15 please don't burn out
33:36 bye, mwah
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In this episode of No Deep Dives, Iām getting into Ikigai, the Japanese philosophy about finding your lifeās purpose. Honestly, at first, I thought it was one of those buzzwords you'd find in an airport bookstore and kept it moving. But once I actually started applying it to my life, things started to click. Iām breaking down the four key areas of Ikigai: what you love, what you're good at, what the world needs, and what you can get paid forābecause we love a good paycheck! Along the way, Iāll chat about why multitasking is a myth, how social media is wrecking our attention spans, and why doing things that take actual brainpower matters. Expect my usual mix of personal stories, some astrology realness, and wellness hacks like acupuncture and journaling. If you're looking for a holistic chat on finding your purpose (without the fluff), this is for you.
The video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F1mK8Hts5HA&list=WL&index=1&t=1s
Here's my Instagram š§æ
TIMESTAMPS
00:00 hi i missed u01:54 astrology update03:08 "how do you say??"04:52 locking in (a lifestyle)06:48 airport bookstore philosophy09:29 ikigai!!!!17:01 a strong foundation23:25 miss u bye -
WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON!!! I'm tempted to say it's because Mars moved out of witty and superficial Gemini, into sensitive and self protective Cancer.
This episode brings me to the eternal question: does passive aggression ever get the job done? From a surreal confrontation with strangers demanding silence by the river to deep dives into emotional intelligence, weāre exploring how our demons often sneak up on us sideways. Is passive aggression a form of self-protection, or just emotional avoidance? And how does the astrological vibe of Mars in Cancer intensify this sneaky behavior?
Along the way, I reflect on lessons from yoga, breathwork, and astrology, as we unpack how to turn our emotional triggers into conscious action instead of passive stand-offs. Plus, we explore philosophical insights from the Bhagavad Gita and how it challenges us to reflect on the deeper distinction between self-awareness and self-knowledge.
We also break down how over-intellectualizing our emotions can lead to dissociation, particularly during yoga and other mindfulness practices. Weāre drawing from ancient philosophy, yoga insights, and that cosmic question, āIs it better to speak or to die?ā Tune in for a mix of wit, wisdom, and just the right amount of chaos. Rate five starsādonāt make me ask twice! āāāāā Miss you!
Here's my Instagram š§æ
TIMESTAMPS
00:00 hi am i better now?00:24 pass-agg river confrontation08:51 mars is in cancer!!!15:35 emotional processing update27:42 self awareness vs. self knowledge30:49 i fear discipline works -
AHHH! WE HAVE DONE IT AGAIN. Genius insights, but this time with philosopher and TikTok creator Jordan Stacey (@jordstac). Despite battling a scratchy throat, we explore Jordan's fascinating journey from science enthusiast to spiritual seeker and unpack how those two worlds collide in unexpected ways.
We discuss the dichotomy between nakedness and mess when revealing our vulnerabilities and reflect on how dreams can be a tool for subconscious processing.
Together, we critique the limitations of short-form content in building genuine empathy, diving into how the internet's binary narratives fall short of replicating the depth of real-life interactions.
šŖ How studying science ironically led to a spiritual awakening
šŖ The tug-of-war between creativity and aesthetics
šŖ Why dreams might hold the key to subconscious processing
šŖ The anxiety trap of constantly evolving your self-concept
šŖ The struggle between leading with your nakedness vs. your mess
šŖ How short-form content might be killing real empathy
šŖ Why real-world chaos beats curated online peace
We emphasize the importance of embracing chaos and unpredictability in a world obsessed with curated peace. Tap in for a conversation thatās full of sharp insights, deep laughs, and more questions than answers. Rate five starsādonāt make me ask twice! āāāāā Miss you!
Jordan's TikTok
Jordan's Podcast
Here's my Instagram š§æ
TIMESTAMPS
00:00 hi, missed you01:33 science to spirituality pipeline07:06 creativity is spirituality13:14 challenging self concept18:23 dreams for subconscious processing34:04 masking & personal intimacy34:47 high school social experiments35:13 racism36:11 the layers of friendship38:16 pursuing knowledge is a xxxx54:11 empathy, sympathy, and pity01:03:05 online vs irl 01:06:39 bye!! -
In this episode, I dive into the shifting nature of time and how novelty (or lack thereof) impacts our perception of it. From the thrill of trying new things and expanding lifeās horizons, to the monotony of routine that makes the days blur together, we explore how to break free of that Groundhog Day feeling. I also touch on the double-edged sword of celebrity gossip, over-empathizing with Bruno Mars, and the wild ride of Blink Twice, Zoe Kravitzās unsettling new film. Plus, I reflect on the subtle manipulation tactics in wellness spaces that can disarm even the most self-aware among us. āāāāā Miss you!
TIMESTAMPS
00:00 hi sweetie pie01:08 slutty for yerba mate03:42 time perception paradox06:58 celeb culture monsense10:00 movie review for 'blink twice'19:07 wellness spaces and informed consent21:25 the odd water roleplay activity24:05 authority and consent24:25 mama, mami and baby26:17 cult focused30:41 fear vs danger37:54 false modesty and manipulation -
In this episode, I dive into the chaos of balancing lifeās highs and lowsāfrom the perfect alignment of lifeās stepping stones to the draining effects of my period. We explore how Iām using my birth chart as a practical guide (not just an excuse for bad behaviour) and my revelation during an intense Iyengar yoga session in Bali about staying present with discomfort instead of dissociating.
We also explore the sneaky ways social media mimics a casino, hooking us into endless scrolling for that next dopamine hit. And then when things couldnāt get weirder, I got hit with a $1,715 jury duty fine (in a state I donāt live in)?? HELP!! āāāāā Miss you!!
Here's my Instagram š§æ
TIMESTAMPS
00:00 hi sweetie pie00:40 I'm a cartographer02:19 astrological experiments04:48 iyengar yoga ... why did you warn me06:50 ok feeling emotions again14:46 digital detoxing?17:25 analog vs virtual21:36 always processing34:11 see you next week -
Is this just what the Algorithm Overloads ordered? Another high-energy episode exploring the cultural underpinnings of 'Little Red Riding Hood,' and the socialisation of children (prompted by me, Flex, wearing a red veil to yoga). Learn about the weird origin of children's literature and unlock new trauma responses (long story).
Plus, get a taste of Chinese metaphysics, (we *just* entered a new 20 year period!!). This episode is a must-listen if you love deep, analytical yet playful discussions! āāāāā Miss you!!
P.S: This episode was recorded during Mercury Retrograde in Virgo. Forgive me if I misspeak or misquote xoxo.
P.P.S: WE FOUND A NEW PODCAST EDITOR!!
Here's my Instagram š§æ
TIMESTAMPS
00:00 Hi!!!!01:44 blame it on the bean juice (soda)02:08 daily routine epiphany05:52 a trip down (someone else's) memory lane08:49 remember little red riding hood?13:09 wait ... what's the moral here?23:25 NEW (20 YEAR) ERA UNLOCKED26:52 hotties research Chinese metaphysics35:04 more about period nine38:42 bye bye bye bye -
I played '7 Things' by Miley Cyrus and felt like I REALLY HEARD IT FOR THE FIRST TIME. Shout out to transforming mental dialogue. In this episode we're doing what we do best: asking questions to ask more questions.I'll be attempting to ask the age old question: "why are you studying counselling?", then take you through some of the insights. Like why asking why is usually the wrong question to ask (excuse ME??), person-centered therapy, paraphrasing, Carl Rogers' unconditional positive regard, and the challenge of maintaining empathy without enabling. āāāāā Miss you dearly!! Bye for now! š
Here's my Instagram š§æ
TIMESTAMPS
01:06 Stop Asking Why (*scary*)02:20 Ok but wHY THOUGH?03:49 The Art of Paraphrasing07:43 Person-Centered Therapy (so sexy)10:06 Unconditional Positive Regard (processing tbh)11:29 Ethical Dilemmas in Counseling12:34 The Need for Practical Skills in Conflict Resolution14:41 Conclusion and Final Thoughts -
Is it possible for our brainwaves to sync up with people we like? š§ Or how many virtual hangouts it takes to match a real-life four-hour dinner? š½ļø We'll get into the nitty-gritty of why technology can't quite replace face-to-face interactions (I discovered this during my VOGUE CODES panel: Technocopia).
Plus, letās clear the air on my Instagram sermon about the supposed death of chivalry ā hint: it might not be feminismās fault. š” I also take you through some historical detours, like the concept of courtly love. Expect some enlightening exchanges about the ever-evolving social norms and how patriarchy is like a house with serious structural issues ā yep, itās leaking! āāāāā Miss you dearly!! Bye for now! š
IMPORTANT LINKS
https://www.vogue.com.au/vogue-codes/news/lessons-from-the-vogue-codes-2024-summit/image-gallery/1486dcbfe6b33350025d6f011a8001ac
https://www.instagram.com/p/C720M1ihtzj/?img_index=1
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/brain-waves-synchronize-when-people-interact/
DIVE DEEPER
No Deep Dives TikTokNo Deep Dives InstagramNo Deep Dives SubstackNo Deep Dives SlackFlexMami Instagram
TIMESTAMPS
00:11 Natural High?01:08 Synchrony Is Sexy (and REAL!)03:02 VOGUE Codes Panel Gossip03:59 Virtual vs. Physical Connections15:09 The PR Problem of Modern Relationships21:31 Patriarchy, Feminism, and the Struggle for Power26:52 Closing Thoughts: Patriarchy's Cracks and Future30:08 The Evolution of Chivalry and Romance
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If you like someone's content, you can invite them to come onto your podcast and chat. On this episode of No Deep Dives, I chop it up with Jaliessa Sipress ā Astrology, Wizard and MossPersonā¢ļø about the pitfalls of being alive, the beauty of the birth chart, the joy of internet mutuals and the reality of practising esotericism.
IMPORTANT LINKS
https://www.instagram.com/jaliessasipress/?hl=en
https://www.instagram.com/edgewalkerpod/?hl=en
DIVE DEEPER
No Deep Dives TikTokNo Deep Dives InstagramNo Deep Dives SubstackNo Deep Dives Slack
TIMESTAMPS
00:00 Introduction00:27 Hotties Love Yapping01:02 Meet Jaliessa Sipress01:53 MossPerson Meets MistPerson04:10 Bring Aquaintances Back08:47 Astrology is NOT Personality Typing15:06 Pop Astrology vs. Traditional Astrology24:07 How To Actually Use Astrology26:21 Flex's Birthchart29:15 Should We Be Scared Of AI?33:59 The Hero's Journey and Fool's Journey46:01 The Complexity of Astrology and Identity47:24 Conclusion and Final Thoughts
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The more you watch people think without adding thoughts, the harder it is to remember that you also need to think to have thoughts? And other thoughts that are crystallising in real time, like, did a week of apples and peanut butter cause my constipation?
Here's my Instagram š§æ
TIMESTAMPS
00:00 Introduction and Hiatus Explanation01:14 Content Consumption Danger!!04:51 Is Conversation An Art?16:03 Dopamine and Pleasure-Pain Balance19:08 The Future of Human Connection23:53 Conclusion
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The wordsmith yapper jumped out. In this episode we're talking about friendship sustainability and social portion control. I would elaborate but that's what the podcast is for.
Here's my Instagram š§æ
IMPORTANT LINKS
ReFlex Conversation Cards https://shopflexmami.com/
Friendship Expert https://www.tiktok.com/@thefriendshipexpert?lang=en
TIMESTAMPS
00:00 Welcome to No Deep Dives
00:51 Moral Dilemma
03:31 Social Portion Control
05:36 Friendship Formula
13:02 Sustaining Friendships
17:41 In Conclusion
In this episode of 'No Deep Dives', Flex dives into friendship sustainability (reduce, reuse, recycle,) and concept she termed 'social portion control'. Flex explores the nuances of enjoyment in eating, posing thought-provoking questions about preferences in the act of chewing vs. swallowing food, and relating these to broader themes of pleasure and consumption in life.
The concept of 'social portion control' is elaborated as an indicator of healthy relationships, where mutual understanding and reciprocity are key. The podcast also touches on the complexities of sustaining friendships, the role of expectations in relationship dynamics, and the challenges of friendship breakdowns.
Flex concludes with an innovative approach to friendship, suggesting a 'reduce, reuse, recycle' strategy for building and maintaining relationships, emphasizing a sustainable approach to social connections.
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Sorry to stress you out!!!! I've had an epiphany spurred by flashbacks of Year 10 Religion classes. Didn't we learn in Buddhism that desire is suffering? So, the pursuit of joy is riddled with pain? Maybe the "bad" stuff we experience doesn't exactly mean that our lives are deficient ā perhaps they're just symptoms of being a person.
Here's my Instagram š§æ
TIMESTAMPS
In this episode of No Deep Dives, Flex starts with a brief mention of her newfound love for the movie Dune 2, highlighting its depiction of real-life issues such as colonialism and religious engineering, before diving into the main topic: suffering, stress, and Buddhism.
She discusses the nature of suffering and how it's intertwined with human existence, referencing Buddhism's Four Noble Truths and the Eightfold Path as a framework for understanding and potentially overcoming suffering.
Flex also explores the concept of karma, the impact of actions and intentions on one's future, and how modern society's perception and management of stress don't align with our evolutionary development.
Throughout the episode, she shares personal anecdotes and reflections on learning, the challenges of ethical living in a capitalist society, and the pursuit of enlightenment. The discussion extends into the societal and personal factors contributing to stress and the perpetual quest for joy and comfort amidst life's inevitable hardships.
00:00 Welcome to No Deep Dives00:10 Dune 201:08 Episode Breakdown01:34 Thoughts Are Puzzles02:13 The Curious Case of Whale Lungs03:19 Rethinking Suffering05:10 Buddhism and the Nature of Suffering09:04 Understanding Karma in Buddhism10:40 Navigating the Eightfold Path to Enlightenment13:58 Reflecting on Life, Stress, and Expectations17:32 Modern Society and the Chronic Stress Dilemma19:43 Closing Thoughts and Farewell
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The softboys are fighting! The Pick Me(n) are turning on each other! The timeline wants to know, is the man content creating painting his nails, talking about the glass ceiling and lipsynching to Hozier a feminist or misogynist in sheeps clothing???
DIVE DEEPER
No Deep Dives TikTokNo Deep Dives InstagramNo Deep Dives SubstackNo Deep Dives Slack
https://www.tiktok.com/@quinnickleshow/video/7346640693902937390
https://www.tiktok.com/@quinickle/video/7232337055605378346?q=quinnickle&t=1712558892570
https://www.tiktok.com/@quinickle/video/7298752921800363306?q=quinnickle&t=1712558892570
https://www.tiktok.com/@angieemann/video/7182369370180422955?q=strange%20kevin&t=1712558799606
https://www.tiktok.com/@misterstrang4/video/7301150160363556139?q=strange%20kevin%20female%20gaze&t=1712558857512
https://www.tiktok.com/@tellthebeees/video/7349382297138892062?_r=1&%3B_t=8l0sr2k8DPm
TIMESTAMPS
Welcome to the latest episode of No Deep Dives, hosted by Flex. Today, we're diving into the intricate world of TikTok's social dynamics. Our focus? The emergence of 'pick me men' and the intriguing concept of the female gaze.
Flex delves into the trend of men strategically distancing themselves from 'pick me' behaviours to position themselves as more self-aware than their fellow counterparts. Then dissects the evolution and occasional misinterpretations of the male gaze, ultimately leading to the emergence of the female gaze phenomenon.
Through the lens of notable TikTok creators like Strange Kevin and Quinn, we'll analyze how these trends mirror deeper societal shifts in gender dynamics, self-presentation, and the pursuit of authenticity in digital spaces.
Join Flex to challenge preconceptions and unravel the layers of these trends. Who truly benefits, and are we witnessing genuine progress or just a fresh coat of paint on age-old patriarchal norms? Let's dive in and find out.
00:33 The Rise of 'Pick Me' Men02:13 Decoding the Male Gaze05:38 The Female Gaze: A Counter-Narrative or a New Form of Objectification?11:46 TikTok's Influence: From Strange Kevin to Quinnical22:44 The Complexity of the Female Gaze: Perception vs. Reality
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