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If you’ve ever been to Newfoundland, you know it’s a place where fog can envelop you so deeply, you don’t know where you’re going or where you came from. When two men, born in the same rural Newfoundland hospital on the same day, discover an unbelievable 52-year-old secret, it changes the way they see themselves forever. But this isn’t the end of the story. Because it turns out these men are not alone. A series of other close calls and near misses have begun to emerge, and not only at Come by Chance hospital. Come By Chance is a story about what it means to belong in a family — and how a twist of fate can upend the life you thought you knew.
More episodes are available at: https://link.chtbl.com/qWHd9npJ
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A COVID scare in the kids’ group Patti manages wakes up the perfectionist inside her — the part of her that feels she needs to be perfect in order to deserve connection with others. She and Dr. Hillary trace this feeling back to her younger years, and help Patti draw from her personal growth to comfort that version of herself.
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As we wind down the season, Dr. Hillary McBride invites you to catch your breath and feel yourself in this particular moment. Imagining as you exhale that this breath could support you in the practice of letting go.
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Kristin recognizes she feels isolated and alone, at least in part because she’s kept people at a distance to protect herself from getting hurt. Dr. Hillary uses her own relationship with Kristin to model friendship and the excitement that can come from deep connection.
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Dr. Hillary needs to tell her longtime client Vanessa that she’s pregnant and that they'll soon need to take a break, when Hillary goes on maternity leave. This is hard to hear for Vanessa, who has been left, physically and emotionally, by important people in her life when she needed them most. Hillary helps Vanessa navigate the pain of feeling abandoned while also assuring her: although their situation will change, their bond is secure.
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Hannah has found a range of ways to earn love and protect herself from getting hurt. In Dr. Hillary McBride’s words, she “has found a way to stay connected to people by figuring out who they want her to be, and then being that.” The two work to help Hannah trust that she can show up as her authentic self, and to believe that she is lovable as she is.
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Ethan’s parents have become committed to extreme right wing ideologies, which they keep pushing on Ethan. He has tried and failed to explain to them why their views are harmful. Now, in the midst of helping his wife deal with a health crisis, Ethan has decided to step away from his relationship with his parents, despite how much it hurts. Dr. Hillary helps him navigate his grief.
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Kristin’s brother died when she was very young and she blamed herself, the way children sometimes do. She has carried that unresolved shame for decades. As the anniversary of his death stirs up hard feelings, Dr. Hillary helps Kristin begin to heal this deep wound. She also guides adult Kristin, now a parent herself, toward saying the words she needed to hear as a child.
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As someone who has struggled with addiction and a bipolar diagnosis, Julia carefully hides away parts of herself. Dr. Hillary McBride helps her embrace her complexity, and reconcile it with her new identity as mom. “Your identity was never in addiction, was never in illness, your identity has always been something much deeper.”
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Slow down today and join Dr. Hillary for five minutes of mindfulness. This meditation, which she wrote, is intended to help you feel grounded and more at ease.
(If you're too busy today, then you may want to play it twice.) -
What does it mean to come out of isolation? In a year where we’ve needed it, this season is all about reconnecting with ourselves and one another. Dr. Hillary McBride helps her clients talk through a range of issues heightened by these uncertain times. An all new season of Other People’s Problems begins May 18, 2021.
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A gift to you, our listeners, as we wrap Season 3. We appreciate you so much. Take good care of yourself and each other. (And, hey, if you have feedback or experiences with OPP to share, we’d love to hear from you. Please email producer Jodie Martinson: [email protected])
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As we know from the earlier episode with Lacey, she grew up with a mother who neglected her. It has left her with a deep sense she is not good enough. In this episode, Hillary and Lacey travel back to Lacey’s childhood home to witness the situation through the eyes of caring responsible adults who see little Lacey’s suffering and take care of her.
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It’s been a few weeks since we released a bonus episode from Louise about being hospitalized for anorexia and contracting COVID-19 in the hospital. Now, she’s home, healing, and determined to take steps toward recovering from her eating disorder and letting her true self shine through.
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Vanessa’s daily life is difficult. Between coping with the demands of work and raising a daughter with special needs, Vanessa is falling into old patterns of negative thinking and self-silencing. Can she learn to break old patterns and recognize her own feelings of loneliness?
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As a teenager, Andrew was sexually abused by someone he trusted. Even though the perpetrator was an adult, and to an outsider it would be a clear case of child sexual abuse, the experience felt more complex to him at the time.
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Louise had to be hospitalized because of anorexia. In the hospital, she contracted COVID-19 and has had to be isolated for weeks. She and Hillary speak compassionately to the eating disorder part of Louise for how it has helped her cope with her suffering, and ask it to move aside so that the real Louise, the parts of her that want to live fully, can begin to take over. Plus, we hear a candid interview with Hillary, who has personal experience with an eating disorder.
NOTE: This conversation was recorded over video conferencing software over weak hospital wifi, and the audio quality is hard to understand at times. We’ve done our best to improve it but recommend listening in a quiet space with good headphones. -
Emily was taught as a kid to avoid some of her emotions, including sadness. Now as an adult, she is learning how to sit with her feelings without pushing them away. She hopes to resolve past traumas and develop new ways of coping with the ups and downs of life.
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Tom connects with Hillary over Zoom during a lunch break at work. He's been working to understand and experience his emotions, connect with his wife and kids, and compassionately factor in his ADHD. Hillary is amazed at how far Tom has come from their first session to where he is today, taking the time to take care of himself, and model for his kids how to express big feelings appropriately when they come up.
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Growing up, there was a lot of conflict in Lacey’s family. After her parents divorced, the conflict stopped, but Lacey and her sister were often left alone. By connecting with her younger self, Lacey realises what she was missing: being seen and loved just as she is. Now, Lacey is doing her best to let go of the childhood patterns — the shield — that once protected her, in hopes of creating healthier ways of being for herself and her children.
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