Episoder
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One night we had fun in LA and oh, the price we paid. ROBBED! It’s the world’s sport and Ivana is part of the world. Meanwhile, Italy not being in the World Cup has made Bella more Italian than ever. At work, what else is there to do but drink water and be pissin? To Bella, personally, Andy Sachs is sexless. The joy of not having a guest is that the girls can jump around, they can play. Like jazz. Speaking of, Ivana went to a seriously weird ballet. Taking a Waymo is something to do. And the goat cheese balls at SUR were fine but they weren’t right.
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We do have something to admit to our guest. To us, she is a doctor of pop culture. It's crazy when Ivana thinks back to six haircuts ago. Now she's Anne Hathaway from Les Mis. Shannon Burns and Bella are like Harry Potter and Voldemort in that they're connected and they both exist in the city. Ivana's like, really a stickler for the list. Meanwhile Bella called Connor Stories "Mrs. Hudson Williams" and paid for it in blood. And Dr. Burns tells us what it’s like to be lesbian married and the secret way to get 170k followers.
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Manglende episoder?
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This is Thee Bieber Fever. He (Justin Bieber) is literally the reason Ivana is having her whole Christian thing. She has to reckon with that. The girls have to be serving Charisma, Uniqurness, Nerve, and Talent in a really major way during these AI times. Bella needed a binder at D-Box movie. Ivana has always known that she will have to become evil. To flip the patriarchy to the matriarchy. But through her own downfall, we will be able to achieve equality. Bella agrees. And Lorde continues to catch strays on this podcast….
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Two cups stand before us. Sure, everything is open for interpretation but these tea leaves are Bella. Ivana says a movie is the closest thing an average person can have to going to Space. Kibo Sushi tried to make Bella seem fucked up but she’s NORMAL! Regarding the chewing, we want everyone to know that we’re learning and we’re fucking listening. Anna from the post office-Crystal shop made Bella doubt her own knowledge of Lady Gaga. Ivana doesn’t need to watch the new Harry Potter show because she’s not a pervert. She’s a grownup. And do you guys notice that we’re wrapping it up kind of quickly?
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Despite Ivana turning thirty, the girls return to old pod days and smoke 4 joints pre recording. And they were just saying, there is really so much going on right now. Some good. Lots good! Some bad. Some weird. Ivana was feeling that everyone was neglecting her drumming. Meanwhile, the sales associate at Long & Mcquade did a bold and brash assumption against Bella. Remember when Ivana “took” the mic? The girls become absolutely transfixed on the song "Crickets Sing for Ana Maria." And there IS such a thing as hot Ice cream. Tyra Banks invented it.
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Bella doesn’t think having a band is that hard. We proved it, didn’t we? Ivana decides to give up being a paper towel eco terrorist for Lent. That Jamaican pic of Adele looks totally like something AI would’ve done. Bella wrote “another man that’s hot” on the list and has absolutely no idea who it was. You can’t even imagine how much it meant to Ivana as an Italian girl who grew up with all Colombians to see Lady Gaga at Bad Bunny’s halftime show. More than anything, the sports at the Winter Olympics are completely made up. First they (the woke mob) came for Emerald, and we said nothing. Then they came for Bella….
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Well, we had show. You guys had to be there. And most of you were! Bella knew that by the time we got to the end of the show… Ivana would sing. And sing, she did. Bella felt the Toronto earthquake from across the world. Ivana has developed intimacy with Jacob Elordi in their two s*x dreams. Bella says that being an interviewer feels like “being me.” Margot Robbie is woman and Ivana has known it since Grade 9. And jeans? On Bad Bunny’s big night?
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Our “seasons” are pretty arbitrary but it is the Season 2 Our Pod Finale and we have a BIG announcement. Asking Bella to wear contacts would be like asking Harry Potter to wear contacts! Aria Montgomery was first and foremost, deplorable, and secondly, homophobic. When Ivana says “focused” on the gay hockey show, what she means is “horny.” Bella’s problem with Love Actually is the whole “on Christmas you tell the truth.” Christmas is not about telling the truth. It’s about gifts and Santa. And it’s okay to gay bait if you do it really good.
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So, it’s 35 minutes straight of Wicked: For Good spoilers and then straight into overnight oats. It’s so true that you eat a plum on the beach. Ivana rode the mic and Bella is top. On PLL, the biggest enemy is a trans woman. Did you know that? Ivana is plugged into the world in a numerical way. We like some of the Lorde songs but what the hell does she know about being nonbinary? And just so quickly, a coffee shop that Bella’s addicted to.
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Well? Well, what sister? Ivana told her hairdresser to do what he wanted and, he did. Bella’s tap class was doing gender bending with Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy. Ivana maladaptive daydreamed about: Angelina Jolie, Amanda Seyfried, Dianna Agron, and Lauren Jauregi. If having vivid sex dreams means demon, then that would mean a succubus is living in Bella’s house. The girls are understanding why they didn’t get cast on Traitors Canada. And didn’t Bella just mention Lily Allen on pod?
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Everyone wants to be a Scarlett, no one wants to be Dr. Plum. At the end of the day, Taylor Swift, you may be gay but let us tell you something…. You will never be queer. The moon was full and bright on the night of Addison Rae. The Family Stone reminded Ivana of the Christmas movie that her and Bella wrote, except theirs is so better. We’ve talked a lot of shit about Libras on this pod and now it’s like, yeah, Ivana’s eating crows pie. And some bad news: two of Bella’s loved ones doubted that she could successfully dress up as a knight...
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Can you believe Ivana’s already on her third fairy book? She’s reading fast. The girls discover that at the centre of their Venn diagram is having a crush on Bad Bunny. Ivana making a TikTok is a bit like Taylor Swift making an album. Bella hates to be gendered on the pod but do you think One Battle After Another is a boy movie? We heard from our communities about scissoring. In a fully platonic way, it actually *is* a bit yummy to see Addison Rae so in their body. And are you guys ready to talk shit about Taylor Swift? If you don’t wanna do it, log off now.
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The last time that Bella went to Medieval Times, Ivana wasn’t her Best Friend Forever yet. But she saw the stories. First and foremost: Fuck You J.K. Rowling. Ivana has a very exciting update about the Azerbaijani village family that she watches everyday on YouTube. Scissoring does exist in the sense that anything is possible between two human bodies. Bella doesn’t like fan service to gay people and Ivana doesn’t like dream sequences. And if you guys think this podcast is long, try Trisha Paytas’.
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For listeners, Ivana’s hair is positively 1920s and her shirt is positively ribeye. Bella thinks it’s incredible to have a t-shirt with both Lady Gaga and Ariana Grande on it. Ivana didn’t know what the movie Snow White and The Huntsman means to Bella. If the makers of S3 Traitors Canada were interested in making a compelling season of television that would disrupt Canadian Media forever, they would’ve just centred the whole show around Ivana and Bella. And when this is out, everything will be different. Rah rah.
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Update from last ep: Bella was haunted. Both the girls have Barenaked Ladies stories? Oh, I’m sure. Random but Ivana was shocked at Eve Babitz being good. Bella hates to take it to a place of toilet but she’s made a huge mistake. Ivana can't wait for Dua Lipa's theatre concept. Bella’s high school yearbook quote was “Mischief Managed” which sucks because she wasn’t in the year book at all. What mischief? How gay people will go to a JLo show, straight people will go to Oasis. Oh wait, we forgot to shut the tennis off.
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Most conversation-starting card decks are made for people who hate each other. Question: do you guys think Bella is being haunted rn? Taylor Swift announcing her new album on a football podcast is oracle that Trump will be elected third term. And if you need Bella to explain that, she can’t even help you. Ivana receives a prophecy on a wedding dance floor. In Bella’s 2AM scrolling, she stumbled upon a card trick artist. They call it “cardistry.”If the girls managed to switch places “Freaky Friday” style, the only thing they would do is just keeping podcasting.
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So basically what we’re gonna do is dance. And that’s an order. The girls can’t believe that Santana Lopez never got to do Sneaker Night. Basically Ivana went to Vancouver and Bella went to creek. Ivana will wear elf ears to the Ren Faire to reconnect with her ancestors. Meanwhile Bella is dead serious about making chainmail because "how hard can it be"? Ivana was finally exposed to the show that's sweeping the nation by storm and was shocked to learn they call this girl Belly. Bella fell off during “Dancing with the devil, the Art of Starting over” but previous to that, she’s off book on every single Demi Lovato song. Sorry, Ivana forgot her water bottle. And she has to fill it up.
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Bella embraces Ivana and all of Ivana when she posts a thirst trap. The girls are doing "can I say?" about Justin Bieber this episode. Because guess what, a Pisces can be an asshole and a true romantic at the same time. Play by JLo is the original mother that the apple fell from the tree of that is Club Classics by Charli XCX. Bella poses a new age old question: today do you feel like Coconut Man, Moonhead or Pea? One might think Ivana is a Moonhead, but she is Pea through and through. It would make total sense for Andy Sachs from Devil Wears Prada to have become a power dyke after her transformative experience with Miranda Priestly. The girls have a hot take about Fifth Harmony: ALL good.
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When it comes to Bella’s new post-surgery voice, it’s important to remember: a diva’s register is never low. Everything else is simply high. The girls shiver at having both interfaced with one Jax Taylor, and even manifest his firing. Hey, before we get the Biphobia Alarms going, remember that Ivana has the bi sticker! By the way, it’s OUR pod. So if you want to come on, you have to ask us. Anyways, Ivana is the economy, doll, and Bella is the substance. Oh, and Lorri’s here.
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Bella’s not saying that LA has changed Ivana, but it’s a bit LA has changed Ivana. Prayers for Jojo Siwa, always. And guess what? Prayers to everyone. Even those who Ivana hates. Addison Rae’s whole brand is kind of, you would love her to be your older or younger sister. Or crush. The Fifth Harmony song “Squeeze” was formative to Ivana’s queerness. And Bella has had an imagination for as long as she can remember...
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