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This episode of Parenting Understood features Dr. Robyn Koslowitz, author of the upcoming book "Post Traumatic Parenting". Dr. Koslowitz, an expert in child development and trauma, discusses the often-overlooked impact of past trauma on parenting. Robyn explains how common coping mechanisms developed in childhood, like people-pleasing, dissociation, and perfectionism, can become obstacles in parenting. These ingrained responses, once helpful, can lead to stress, anger, and disengagement when raising children. Dr. Koslowitz identifies five distinct "post traumatic parenting types". She emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and recognizing these patterns. By acknowledging their trauma and its influence, parents can begin to heal and break the cycle. Dr. Koslowitz shares practical strategies like journaling, inner child work, and personifying emotions to manage triggers and respond more effectively to challenging situations. The conversation highlights the potential for parenting to be a catalyst for personal growth and healing. By confronting their own past traumas, parents can develop healthier coping mechanisms and create a more positive environment for their children.
Find Dr. Koslowitz:
Book: "Post Traumatic Parenting" (available for pre-order)
Podcast & YouTube: Post Traumatic Parenting
Instagram: @doctorKoslowitzpsychology
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This episode of Parenting Understood explores the crucial topic of emotional regulation for both parents and children. Dr. Cindy Hovington, a neuroscientist and parenting expert, explains that emotional regulation is about responding thoughtfully rather than reacting impulsively. She emphasizes that parents' emotional states deeply impact their children, highlighting the importance of modeling healthy emotional responses. The discussion delves into the difference between suppression and true calm, advocating for cognitive reappraisal as a tool to manage emotions effectively. Practical advice includes daily reflection to identify emotional patterns and revisiting challenging situations with children to foster their understanding and growth. Hovington also encourages parents to embrace their own emotional journeys and create a supportive environment for their children to develop essential emotional regulation skills.
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In episode 145, Erin and Michelle delve into the concepts of attachment and self-regulation, highlighting their significance in parenting and child development. The hosts discuss how attachment forms a secure base, allowing children to regulate stress and explore their environment. Attachment theory categorizes relationships as either secure, which supports effective self-regulation, or insecure, where stress regulation can be more challenging. Brain research reveals that secure attachments foster more integrated neural activity between the limbic system and the prefrontal cortex, which is crucial for emotional regulation.
The conversation touches on the potential effects of having mixed attachment styles with different caregivers and how secure attachments can mitigate the impact of insecure ones. As children grow, they develop social referencing skills, using their caregivers to navigate and interpret social and emotional contexts. Co-regulationâwhere caregivers model emotional regulation and validate childrenâs emotionsâis emphasized as a key supportive strategy. Emotional awareness and using natural, age-appropriate language to describe emotions help children understand and articulate their feelings. Practical techniques like deep breathing are also explored as essential tools to support self-regulation, even if results take time and consistency.
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In this latest episode, we discuss with Professor Selcuk Sirin the potential influences of our expanding digital world on parenting and child development. We speak about both preparing children for entering the digital world, as well as supporting them once they are in it. We also touch upon the development of technology, and the various generational responses to it.
As an applied psychologist, Dr. Sirin uses empirical research methods to better understand the needs of children and families, and to arm professionals and policy makers with this knowledge so as to better address the needs of the most vulnerable. The goal that unites all of his work is to enhance the lives of marginalized children using development in context as a general framework. He focuses on immigrant children in New York, Muslim youth in the US, refugees in Turkey and Norway, and students at risk in US schools.
He has published his work in top journals, such as Child Development, Developmental Psychology, Review of Educational Research, and Pediatrics, in an effort to inform scholars, practitioners, and policy makers about marginalized children. He has also made a concerted effort to get his work to a wider audience both locally and globally, as he believes strongly in âgiving scientific knowledge away.â He has served on several policy committees such as the National Academy of Sciences, the Urban Institute, and the Migration Policy Institute. He has also collaborated with UNESCO and Save the Children, in their efforts to improve the lives of refugee children.
Please visit his lab's web page for most recent work and volunteering opportunities. Sirin Lab
For those from Turkey here is his Turkish web page: http://www.selcuksirin.com/
Turkçe web sayfam için lĂŒtfen Ću sayfayı ziyaret edin: http://www.selcuksirin.com/
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In this episode, we are joined by Dr. Diana Turk to discuss civic engagement and supporting children in their engagement. We explore traditional and critical civic engagement. Diana provides a definition of civic engagement that includes community building, empathy, and understanding diverse perspectives. She emphasizes the importance of involving children in civic activities from a young age, modeling thoughtful discussions, and explaining the "why" behind our actions. Diana provides practical examples, like discussing the reasoning behind supporting a particular cause or candidate, and involving children in community service. She also highlights the importance of empowering neurodivergent children to participate in civic life and provides resources for families to support their children's civic engagement. For more information on Dr. Turk and her work please visit her website
Diana Turk is the Director of Teacher Education at NYU Steinhardt's School of Culture Education, and Human Development and an associate professor of Teaching and Learning. Diana received her MA and PhD in American Studies from the University of Maryland at College Park. She brings to her work in teacher education a passion for civic engagement, a commitment to teaching for democratic change, and a dedication to the fundamental belief that all teachers must be prepared to reach and teach all learners. Actively committed to an ongoing anti-racist journey, Diana recognizes the need for all students to have teachers who see, know, and understand them, as well as look like them, Diana is passionate about building a highly diverse and effective teacher corps that is anti-racist, culturally sustaining, and rigorously dedicated to teaching and guiding the nationâs children.
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This is the first episode in our new biweekly release schedule. In this episode, we discuss permissive grandparents and how to navigate, at times, different parenting styles between parents and grandparents. We acknowledge the vital role grandparents play in a child's life while recognizing the potential challenges of inconsistent parenting styles. We further offer practical advice for parents, when having discussions with grandparents around parenting styles. We stress the importance of patience and understanding, recognizing that changing ingrained behaviors takes time. Ultimately, we provide valuable tools for parents seeking to maintain healthy relationships with grandparents while ensuring consistent guidance for their children.
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In this episode of Parenting Understood, we delve into early literacy with Dr. Susan Neuman. We discuss creating child-centered learning environments that foster literacy development. Dr. Neuman emphasizes the importance of responsive teacher-child conversations, play, reading, writing, and singing. She highlights the need for a balanced approach to alphabetics and encourages parents to engage children in informational texts. The conversation also touches upon the influence of research on educational policies and the significance of recognizing individual learning styles. To learn more about Dr. Neuman and her work please visit her website Susan Neuman | NYU Steinhardt, LinkedIn profile and Susan B. Neuman on X.
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This episode of Parents Understood features Dr. Rose Perry and Dr. Natalie Brito discussing Social Creatures, a non-profit focused on social health. Dr. Perry, a social neuroscientist, discusses her research highlighting the impact of early social connections on lifelong well-being, and how her recognizing the societal undervaluing of these connections lead to her founding Social Creatures, which aims to promote health through community building. Drs. Perry and Brito also discuss Social Creaturesâ program, Bonded by Baby, which addresses the high prevalence of loneliness among new parents. By connecting parents with similar-aged infants, the program offers crucial social support and combats postpartum depression and anxiety. Additionally, Drs. Perry and Brito provide practical advice for parents, emphasizing the importance of open communication, self-care, and maintaining diverse connections.
For more information on Dr. Perry and Social Creatures please visit her LinkedIn page, as well as the Social Creatures website. For more information on Dr. Natalie Brito please visit her LinkedIn page and her lab website ISLAND.
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In this episode, we are joined by Dr. Katie Scott Newhouse, Clinical Assistant Professor and Program Director of Special Education at New York University, to discuss supporting neurodiverse students in middle childhood. Dr. Newhouse emphasizes the importance of recognizing individual differences and tailoring support strategies accordingly. Transitions, especially back-to-school after summer, can be challenging for neurodiverse students. Strategies discussed include open communication between parents and teachers, visual schedules, social stories, and classroom placement considerations. We highlight the importance of parent advocacy and connecting with community resources. We also touch on the challenges of navigating the school system and the need for proactive support.
For more information on Dr. Newhouse and her work please visit: Dr. Katie Newhouse -
In this episode, we discuss with Dr. Fabienne Doucet her new bilingual picture book "Love is Still Winning." The book tells a story of a child reminding their mother about the enduring power of love and kindness in the world. Fabienneâs professional background in education and her passion for children's literature have intertwined in this project. She sees stories as a powerful tool to initiate conversations about complex issues and to foster understanding. The book encourages readers to explore acts of love in their own lives and communities, promoting a message of hope and resilience. We discuss various ways in which caregivers can use the book to engage in meaningful conversations. You can find the book at independent bookstores and online retailers, and follow Fabienne on social media @Bailabomba for updates on events and future projects.
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In this latest episode, we speak with Dr. Lindsey Cormack about ways parents can support their children in becoming engaged citizens. Lindsey is a civics expert and the author of the book HOW TO RAISE A CITIZEN (And Why Itâs Up to You to Do It). We speak with Lindsey about how Americansâ civic knowledge is alarmingly low; how young voters struggle to navigate the complicated system of voter registration, and that civics instruction receives the lowest number of K-12 hours out of any subject. Further, as Lindsey notes, we have a culture of considering political talk to be taboo which means many adults, on both sides of the aisle, arenât having productive conversations with children about government issues. Because of this, Lindsey speaks to how parents and caregivers can create a solid foundation of civics knowledge for their children and provide them with strategies and necessary know-how to be able to raise engaged and informed citizens.
Lindsey Cormack is an Associate Professor of Political Science and Director of the Diplomacy Lab at Stevens Institute of Technology in Hoboken, New Jersey. She earned her PhD in Government from New York University and is raising a daughter on the Upper East Side. She currently serves as the Secretary for Community Board 8 in Manhattan. She created and maintains the digital database of all official Congress-to-constituent e-newsletters in the DCInbox Project.
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In this last episode of our back to school series, we speak about starting a new school from the perspectives of parent and child. We draw on our own personal experiences, as well as research in this conversation. We pay special attention to the role of social capital in the transition to a new school year. We also speak on best practices for speaking with our children about how their day went and what they have learned beyond just asking âHow was school today?â.
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We are thrilled to be joined in our first episode of the New Year by Jessica Grose. Jessica is an opinion writer at The New York Times who writes a popular newsletter on parenting. Jessica was the founding editor of Lenny, the email newsletter and website. She also writes about womenâs health, culture, politics and grizzly bears. She was named one of LinkedInâs Next Wave top professionals 35 and under in 2016 and a Glamour âGame Changerâ in 2020 for her coverage of parenting in the pandemic. She is the author of the novels Soulmates and Sad Desk Salad. She was formerly a senior editor at Slate, and an editor at Jezebel. Her work has appeared in the New York Times, New York, the Washington Post, Businessweek, Elle, Cosmopolitan, and many other publications. She lives in Brooklyn with her husband and daughters.
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In this episode, we welcome Dr. Matthew Zakrowski, a psychologist specializing in gifted and talented, and twice-exceptional children. We define what it means to be gifted and talented, moving beyond the stereotype of high-achieving students to recognizing the unique neurodivergence of gifted children. Dr. Zakrowski emphasizes that parenting gifted children involves comprehensive 360-degree support. Further, he shares insights into the complexities of raising gifted children, noting their intellectual intensity and often precocious behavior. He also provides examples of how children might show their giftedness in unconventional ways. Additionally, he delves into the challenges some gifted children face, including perfectionism and social-emotional asynchrony where their intellectual and social ages do not align.
For more information on Dr. Zakrowski and his work please visit his website: The Neurodivergent Collective
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In todayâs first of two episodes with Dr. Jeanne Donaldson, we discuss using token economies with children to help them establish positive behaviors. Dr. Donaldson defines what a reward/token economy is and how the functions of a reward system can be used, as well as how to avoid misusing them.
Dr. Jeanne Donaldson earned her Ph.D. in Psychology from the University of Florida and completed a postdoctoral fellowship at the John Hopkins University School of Medicine at the Kennedy Krieger Institute. Her research focuses on solving issues common in early childhood and assessing child and adult interventions.
To learn more or contact Dr. Donaldson, you can reach out to her via email at [email protected]. -
In this episode, Dr. Jess Gaulton of FamilyWell Health discusses the increasing awareness and evolving support for perinatal mood and anxiety disorders (PMADs). She highlights the progress made in recognizing these conditions, which were previously dismissed or stigmatized. Dr. Gaulton emphasizes the importance of breaking the stigma by sharing personal experiences, as she did with her own struggles with postpartum depression. She introduces FamilyWell Health's innovative care delivery model, which integrates perinatal mental health services directly into existing healthcare systems. This approach involves a collaborative care team of social workers, coaches, therapists, and psychiatric providers, offering comprehensive support through telehealth. Dr. Gaulton emphasizes the importance of personalized care, tailoring treatment plans to individual needs, and the value of early intervention and peer support. She also discusses the development of a coach certification program aimed at empowering individuals to provide effective support to perinatal individuals experiencing mental health challenges. The episode concludes with a call for continued awareness and storytelling to further destigmatize PMADs and promote accessible, comprehensive support.
For more information on Dr. Gaulton and FamilyWell Health visit FamilyWell Health and LinkedIn. -
In this podcast episode, Kevin Seldon, founder of the nonprofit "All Parents Welcome," shares his personal experience of feeling unsupported and isolated as a non-birthing parent. He discusses the lack of resources and awareness for the mental health struggles of non-birthing parents around perinatal mood and anxiety disorders (PMADs). Kevin emphasizes the importance of changing terminology to include all parents, regardless of gender or birthing experience. He also highlights the need for more research on non-birthing parents, the creation of a self-assessment tool for PMADs, and the importance of involving all parents in the conversation to improve the mental health of all. He encourages listeners to get involved and support the cause by spreading the word and advocating for inclusivity in parenting culture.
To join the APW movement please click here APW Join the Movement sign up and to contribute to the daddy campaign please click here daffy campaign. -
In this episode, we speak with Dr. Damour about the emotional lives of teenagers. We pay especial attention to the pressures that both genders feel yet how those may be manifested differently across genders, at times. Dr. Damour unpacks parent-child relationships, especially the mother-daughter relationship, and the role of identification in that relationship as girls mature. We also discuss how research methods may not always allow for the identification of areas of concern for boys.
Dr. Lisa Damour is the author of three New York Times best sellers: Untangled, Under Pressure, and The Emotional Lives of Teenagers. She co-hosts the Ask Lisa podcast, works in collaboration with UNICEF, and is recognized as a thought leader by the American Psychological Association. Dr. Damour is also a regular contributor to The New York Times and CBS News.
Dr. Damour serves as a Senior Advisor to the Schubert Center for Child Studies at Case Western Reserve University and has written numerous academic papers, chapters, and books related to education and child development. She maintains a clinical practice and also speaks to schools, professional organizations, and corporate groups around the world on the topics of child and adolescent development, family mental health, and adult well-being.
Dr. Damour graduated with honors from Yale University and worked for the Yale Child Study Center before earning her doctorate in Clinical Psychology at the University of Michigan. She has been a fellow at Yaleâs Edward Zigler Center in Child Development and Social Policy and the University of Michiganâs Power Foundation. She and her husband are the proud parents of two daughters.
To learn more about Dr. Damour and her work please visit https://drlisadamour.com/ and follow her on instagram @lisa.damour
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In this episode, we had the pleasure of speaking with Dr. Niobe Way about her new book, Rebels with a Cause, which expands on her earlier work about boys and friendships. Niobe explores "boy culture," a term she uses to describe the privileging of stereotypically masculine qualities over feminine ones. As she discusses, this creates a crisis of connection for everyone, not just boys and men. Niobe further emphasizes that "hard" and "soft" skills are equally important for being a full human, and should stop being gendered. She also discusses how this cultural imbalance regarding skills affects parenting, research, and societal issues. She encourages parents to foster emotional sensitivity and perspective-taking in their children and to model self-reflection and curiosity. Additionally, Niobe emphasizes the importance of prioritizing relationships and listening to others.
Please join Dr. Way for her book launch of Rebels with a Cause on July 9th at McNally Jackson, Seaport, 4 Fulton Street, New York, NY at 6:30pm. RSVP -
In this episode, we speak with Dr. Ashley Fallon, PhD in Early Childhood and Childhood Education from New York University and Director of Mansfield Childrenâs Center, regarding how to produce summer activities for our children when we are all out of ideas. Dr. Fallon will demonstrate ways to introduce structured and unstructured learning into the summer days to combat âThe Summer Slide.â After this episode, you will have easy, fun ways to add learning into childrenâs and parentâs daily schedules!
For any questions or more information regarding this episode, you can reach out to Dr. Fallon at [email protected]
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