Episoder
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It’s the end of the world as we know it, but we’re just lowly and loathed podcasters so what’s a boy to do to make themselves invaluable? Having no discernible talents but wanting to be witnessed, the boys set themselves the herculean task of surviving the Mad Max Wasteland. Jackson wants to be the only man alive that remembers Joey, huffing DVD cleaner to become the Situation Man. Zammit as Softhands the Shaftless remembers a career choice that is leaps and bounds more valuable than a podcaster but requires a copious amount of Mother’s Milk and a pre-emptive eunuching. And finally Joel Duscher aka Mr Speaks reckons his time dealing with absolute morons on a day to day basis (his two co-hosts) put him in the perfect position to bridge the language barrier between the warlords and the warboys. Oh what a day, what a lovely day to thread that needle of being invaluable enough to survive the wastelands, but not too invaluable that you become a target by other warlords.
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Over the weekend Jackson watched The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants while eating paella, got excited for what he kept calling ‘magic pants’ and came bounding into the studio wanting to record an episode about ‘pants that fit anyone’ that ‘guarantee you have a pivotal moment in your life and ’possess the power of womanhood’. Thinking hahaha this should be fun, we hit record and now we’re left with this. Enjoy 40 odd minutes of two Joels disappointed in one Jackson as he takes us all on a journey about evil pants that he loves.
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Yabba dabba doo Joel Duscher is a sick little boy but never fear, resident best boy Adam Carnevale was in the studio to help us have a bit of think about how we would make it rich in the Flintstones era. Jackson wants to have an infinite budget and an army of competent engineers to revolutionise the way the people of Bedrock communicate, Adam wants to wage war and Zammit keeps pivoting. Great philosophical questions are asked like What happens when your toaster goes rogue? and How do you convince Cain to take out Abel? Is having a shower that is part of the family good? So listen and or watch as the three dumbest boys you know try to make it big in this modern stone age society.
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Let it never be said that Plumbing the Death Star doesn’t have it’s fingers firmly on the pulse of pop culture. Over the weekend Joel Duscher watched the wonderful motion picture Bones from 2001 starring everyone's favourite-cum-actor Snoop Dogg and has the most obvious question on his lips to all that have seen that film: How Could You Stop Jimmy Bones? If you're one of the very few who haven't seen Bones (2001), or just want a simple refresher, have no fear as JD walks us all through the events of the star studded film! From being a humble man about town to controlling spirit realm, Plumbing the Death Star are here to figure out how one defeats a man who can become a dog, who can become a woman, who can summon maggots, who can control spirits, who can create beautiful blood art out of random passers by, who can take faces and uses his portal to hell to torture his victims. It's not a job for the feint of heart, but maybe Officer Respectable can crack this case!
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Can you believe it? There’s so many frikkin rats in this sweet little German town of Hamelin and there’s some fool dressed in pied that says he can get rid of them all with his silly little pipe and, get this, they’re gonna pay him a thousand German dollars and or francs! Well not on our watch! We’ll do it for the sweet reward of 50 Australian Dollars and the love of the game. Zammit finds out what rats hate and immediately thinks of spaghetti, JD thinks way too highly of structural engineering in the 15th century and Jackson forgets just how flammable a tiny town with thatched roofs is. So come with us to the town of Hamelin as we try and puzzle this one out and then deal with that sneaky mayor who won’t pay us a dime.
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Sure NASA had those big dollars to give Stanley Kubrick to fake the moon landing, but what if they instead has a crisp five dollar note to instead hire America’s favourite boys, us idiots? From confiscating TVs to filming at Bondi with Moon Babes to just straight up hijacking Sputnik footage and claiming it as our own! No stone is left unturned in finding the perfect solution to faking the moon landing. There are no nos on the path to greatness, only great ideas that may or may not start a nuclear winter. All we know is that we (and by we I mean the USA greatest nation of them all) need to beat those Ruskies in the space race by any means necessary or the American people will be so sad! The worst American is a sad American, so you better pray these boys can find an answer to this problem quick smart.
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It’s a tale as old as time! Man, he lack fire and cannot cook ham, but thankfully man’s daddy, Prometheus, he give us fire to cook our delicious ham! However his cousin (our uncle??) Zeus hate when man make ham! So punished Prometheus by chaining him to a rock, and made his delicious god liver everlasting. And then punished an eagle to eat that liver every day! And then there’s that other tale that’s as old as time! Some king, he rude and violated the sacred tradition of being a good host and then cheat death twice. This is no good to the gods so now he must roll a big boulder up a hill only to watch it roll back down and then has to do it all again. For eternity! Now as the pearly white gates of hell open before us and the little goblin man that greets us all asks if we want to opt in for the Sisyphus special or the Prometheus platter, we here at Plumbing the Death Star are given the Herculean task of trying to figure out which one is better. Either way, one must imagine Sisyphus, and by extension Prometheus, happy. It’s the only way to get through it.
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Sure Kyle Reese and that old T-800 were good and all and did a fine job, but in the history of media surely there are better bots that could have protected those Connors! JD puts forward a robot that can do it all, Zammit delves into history to choose the very first robot that is an army into itself and Jackson has an interesting definition of the word save. From ensuring that John Connor is born, to repeatedly running into the skin issue, choosing the perfect robot to help save humanity from that awful Skynet and the robopocalypse is a lot harder than it looks. A lot is riding on this silly little machines.
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Smart guys, good looking guys, guys with little machines - these things do not impress famous Canadian-Italian Shania Twain but maybe the three biggest knuckleheads in podcasting can figure out what (or who) will impress Shania Twain. Could it be a himbo? Or a loathed toad of a man? And does it change anything if Shania stubbed her toe at the start of the song? A lengthy discussion about doodads and contraptions is had and make sure you all marvel at the inventions Duscher, this generations greatest inventor, comes up with. Arise Sir Wife, it’s time to get our floppy rocket into outer space.
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Can you believe it? Three drinks! Joel Duscher has not one, not two, but three of the same goddamn drink that he’s going to slurp down during the duration of this episode. He has truely gone maniac mode for this episode celebrating the 2008 Jim Carrey classic, Yes Man. From trips to Hawaii to seeing Biblically accurate angels, the boys are opening themselves up to the universe and seeing what it provides. It’s mostly a little cake with our morning coffee and getting into massive debt before devolving into a bit about living in the sewers, eating rats and mocking the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles for being stinky. At one point we were a pop culture podcast, when did it change? Head on over to our YouTube channel to let us know and while you’re there you can see if JD slurps down those three delicious cans of passionfruit flavoured Mt Franklin sparkling water.
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Oh me oh my, we can't wait for the upcoming and soon to be mega hit Madame Web in theatres the week we 100% recorded this episode! You can just imagine the reviews "Sony, you've done it again!" - the New York Times probably. "I can't believe this bed you made is so fresh, clean and not shat in!" - Film Fancier Weekly we presume. "The way they used the natural and inate precog abilites of a spider was both inspired and creative" - The Age we guess. "10 thumbs. This is our film of the year" - IGN. To celebrate such a landmark occasion of film hitting new heights, the boys have decided to have one of their famous thinks and try to imagine a wolrd where they too had the awesome powers of Madame Web. From catching spaghetti to helping out with lunch based choice paralysis to impressing our fellow party goers with our sweet number guessing trick, we use these powers to the max for the sweet reward of "oh yeah," and "yeah, that was pretty cool I guess? I'm gonna go chat to my friend Steve now. Steve!". No stone is left unturned when discussing emotional time travel, splitting yourself into four lads and then sending those lads off into the time! JD becomes confusingly immortal, Jackson pitches the world's first 80-tuplet show and Zammit makes himself a little statue for destroying everyone's little machine. Stay to the end for a wild take from Jackson, remember our YouTube channel has comments turned ON!
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Everyone says hey, don't anger that witch or maybe you shouldn't wish upon a monkey paw but we're here to tell you that you have nothing to worry about! Piss off that witch! What they gonna do? Curse you? It's not even that bad! Sure, Disney will often go on and on about how being cursed is bad and it's often the major plot of all their animated films, but is it? Jackson believes he could just body being a toad and live out his best life, JD reckons being cursed to be a genie isn't so bad and Zammit just wants to live his best ape life. Listen in as we discuss what manner of beast a toad with the ability of human speech would look like, come across the man with the plan who hates genies and make one of the best cases that ignorance truely is bliss you'll ever hear.
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It's a strange day on the force as it's B.Y.O.A. (bring your own ape) to help solve the untimely death of the commissioners son. It looks like foul play but we have Mr Bojangles, the former smoking circus chimp, to help us with the case! From assisting in advanced interrogation techniques, to grooming us during a stake out, to helping prove we're not no cop in highly stressful undercover situations, there's not a single crime an ape wouldn't be useful. Listen in as the boys truely ape out and learn about some of yesteryears favourite ape based tv shows. Jackson believes his orangutang has a process, Zammit wishes he was a baboon boy and JD firmly believes apes has no moral conscience. It's good cop bad ape down at the cop factory, so let's all be glad apes don't have a gun.
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It's 1997, a wacky and mad mannered scientist has created some kind of hilarious and maybe sentient goo! This goo is dubbed flying flubber by another of this scientists creation, a robot called Weebo. We do not go into the implications of that robot, the fact that it can love or that it kinda gave birth. That's not the purview of this episode. What is the purview is that this mad scientist uses flubber to help a basketball team cheat at basketball and we want to know what else we can use flubber to cheat with! From a terrible day at the races to a terrible day for one pizza delivery man, the worst brains in podcasting attempt to use this incredible scientific discovery to cheat their way to the top.
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Your favourite boys cannot believe their eyes! Did they just see two dogs on a date? A full on romantic evening? Slurping up spaghetti with human lips?? Surely not! But if they did, how will this affect their world view or will it simply wash over them like spaghetti off a duck's back? Listen in dear listener as Jackson regals us with an interrupted retelling of Lady and the Tramp while the Joels have a lot of beaver questions and horrible stories to tell. We recommend skipping from about 25:41 to about 34:35. For your health.
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Norman has a problem and no, it's not Goblin Madness, it's his public perspection. The good people of New York percieve him as a pumpkin throwing, skeleton creating lunatic and we here at Plumbing the Death Star want that to change! Join us on this journey of goblin-discovery as we attempt to fine tune Osborn's theme, embrace the military industrial complex and make promises to the voting public that we 100% can keep. Just remember everything we've said. We meant all of it.
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It's that time again where the marketing geniueses that are Plumbing the Death Star have to spin their wheels to sell a fictional product! This time they've gotten their grubby little hands on Men in Black's infamous neuralyzer. Sure it can wipe minds and probably shouldn't be used by anyone let alone the general public but let's see how they do! JD wants to speedrun therapy, Zammit forgets we can't talk to cats and Jackson spends too much time getting his mind wiped. After listening to this, you should go and listen to every episode of Plumbing the Death Star. Again. For the first time (please note, for anyone under 30 this is a reference to that MiB commercial I vaguely remember).
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We're in the magical land of Encanto! There's a big house that keeps giving that one family fantastical powers and we, humble citizens of Encantoland don't know how to feel about it! On one hand our lives have become so much easier that we can now spend all our time at Jackson's Loveable Puppet Shop but on the other hand why can that boy turn into anyone and why does that family need to hear our secrets? Now that we think about it, we're becoming increasingly suspicious of that magic house. Zammit has a pet theory on the intended purpose of the Madrigals, Duscher excitedly tells the boys about a great time in history and Jackson offers the small town a simple creature comfort they all want. Maybe the best move is to eat that candle and or touch that magic doorknob to get knife hands or become a chicken.
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Oh no! Plumbing the Death Star’s best friend Olivia Rodrigo has started dating a vampire. That was probably a mistake. What’s more, she went and wrote a song about it for some reason. But which vampire dammit! Who’s got their fangs in our bff! Zammit thinks he can change a sewer dwelling Nosferatu! Duscher refuses to believe Edward Cullen is a virgin! Jackson thinks all blowjobs should happen standing up! Don’t worry though, the boys get to the bottom of it eventually. They also maybe defame some people. Classic Plumbing the Death Star.
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Jackson's got the covid and Zammit's getting nose and tongue surgery so we're taking a break! To read about that in full detail you can check out the news section of our website! So instead of a brand new episode, enjoy a stellar episode of Jackson Baly Spooks Joel Zammit Comics America that first aired in December 2023 exclusively for Bad Brain Boys+ subscribers! Usually Jackson takes his guests on a mystery of ghosts, ghouls and goblins but in this episode Zammit gave Jackson the gift of a having a break by hijacking the show to talk about a horse he read about in a comic book once.
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