Episoder
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In this episode, I sit down with Duygu Balan, a psychotherapist and author specializing in intergenerational trauma, attachment wounding, and working with young people.
Duygu offers invaluable insights into the unique challenges faced by today's teens, including rising anxiety levels, the impact of social media, and the complexities of navigating family dynamics.
We explore the concept of intergenerational trauma and how it can manifest in our relationships, as well as the importance of self-compassion and emotional regulation.
Key takeaways from this episode include:
Understanding the impact of intergenerational trauma on teen behavior Recognizing the signs of attachment wounding and how to address it Effective strategies for supporting teens struggling with anxiety and burnout The importance of self-care and emotional regulation for parents The power of creative expression as a tool for healing and self-discoveryAbout Duygu Balan
Duygu Balan, LPCC is a licensed psychotherapist specializing in familial and intergenerational trauma and attachment wounding. Duygu is the first author of Confidently Chill: An Anxiety Workbook for New Adults and Re-Write: A Trauma Workbook of Creative Writing and Recovery in Our New Normal. She is a regular contributor at Psychology Today and has been featured on CNN, The Washington Times, and MSN.
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Today’s episode delves into a common teenage behavior: lying. As parents, understanding why teens lie and how to respond effectively is crucial.
I’ll explore the underlying reasons behind teen dishonesty, including seeking independence, immature brain development, and avoiding conflict. Plus, I’ll provide practical strategies to foster open communication, build trust, and address issues without resorting to harsh punishments.
Key topics include:
Common reasons teenagers lie and what they lie about. How to know if your teen is lying. How to keep lying to a minimum and what to do when you catch your teenager in a lie.Watch the full episode on YouTube
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In this episode, I’m diving into the topic of teenage anxiety and exploring the top eight things that teens worry about the most.
From school and grades to mental health and relationships, I’ll share the underlying reasons behind these concerns and offer practical strategies for parents to support their teens.
Key Takeaways:
Understanding Teen Worries: Learn about the anxieties teens often face, including academic pressure, social acceptance, body image issues, and future uncertainty. The Science Behind Anxiety: Discover why teens are more susceptible to excessive worry due to brain development and societal factors. Effective Support Strategies: Gain practical tips on how to model healthy stress management, provide unconditional love, be a good listener, and teach coping mechanisms to help your teen navigate their anxieties.Mentioned in this episode:
125. Understanding Your Gremlin: How to Manage Self-Doubt for Teens and Parents
Watch the full episode on YouTube
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Are you feeling overwhelmed by your teenager's intense emotions? Struggling to cope with frequent tantrums and emotional outbursts? In this episode, I discuss the common pitfalls parents make when dealing with teen emotions and provide practical strategies for navigating these ups and downs.
Learn how to:
Understand the underlying reasons behind teen emotional outbursts. Recognize the impact of trauma on your responses. Support your teen through difficult times with effective techniques.By the end of this episode, you'll feel equipped to handle your teen's emotions with more compassion, understanding, and effectiveness.
Watch the full episode on YouTube
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Upcoming In-Person Workshop:
Empowering Your Highly Sensitive Teen
Workshop & Soundbath for Parents
October 19th, Portland, OR
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It's one thing to accept your queer teen, and quite another to be a true ally. Queer teens need to know that you not only support them but that you will actively advocate for them. But it's not easy to know how if you don't have experience with this.
This is why I invited Jennifer Boudrye, a queer allyship facilitator, to the podcast to discuss the importance of allyship in supporting LGBTQ+ youth. Jennifer emphasizes the need for compassion, awareness, respect, and empathy (C.A.R.E) in navigating the complexities of queer identities and offers practical advice to parents of queer children.
Topics discussed include:
How parents can effectively support their queer children
The significance of setting boundaries with family members
Resources available for both parents and teens.
Common mistakes parents make and the importance of community support.
Mentioned in this episode:
PFLAG
The Trevor Project
Human Rights Campaign
Click here to learn more about Jennifer and her programs.
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Upcoming In-Person Workshop:
Empowering Your Highly Sensitive Teen
Workshop & Soundbath for Parents
October 19th, Portland, OR
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Are you a parent of a college freshman? Join me as I discuss the top seven challenges faced by new college students. I offer practical solutions to help them feel more successful and thrive.
From emotional struggles like anxiety and homesickness to social challenges like roommate conflicts and isolation, this episode provides valuable insights and support for parents and their teenage children during this significant transition.
Key Topics:
Emotional challenges: Understanding and addressing anxiety, homesickness, and depression in college students Social challenges: Navigating roommate conflicts and building strong social connections on campus Academic and lifestyle challenges: Effective time management, prioritizing sleep and health, and avoiding common pitfallsCheck out this episode on YouTube!
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In this episode I’m talking to my friend and fellow parent coach, Darlynn Childress, about her experience transitioning her youngest child to college and embracing her newfound "roomier nest."
Darlynn shares her personal story and offers insights on how to prepare for this significant phase in parenting and navigate the challenges and joys of having an empty nest.
Whether your teenager is about to embark on their college journey or you're years away from this transition, this episode provides valuable advice and practical tips to help you navigate this life stage.
You can find more information about Darlynn here.
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Feeling disconnected from your teenage daughter? Wondering why she's suddenly distant or lashing out? One day she's your best friend and the next day she's shutting you out?
In this episode, I'll share 10 strategies to act as a guide as you raise your teenage daughter.
Having coached dozens of teen girls as well as raising two teen girls myself, I know a thing or two about what works, and what doesn’t.
Topics discussed include:
The underlying reasons for her mood swings, social challenges, and changing interests.
How to understand the emotional and physical changes she's going through during puberty.
Tips for providing guidance and encouragement as she explores her identity and interests.
How to balance independence with safety and responsibility.
The importance of maintaining open and honest conversations without judgment.
Register for my upcoming workshop How to Talk So Your Teen Will Listen here.
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In this episode, I’m discussing one of the most pressing issues facing parents today: managing teen phone use and social media and provide you with a practical guide for navigating this challenging terrain.
Whether you’re considering new phone rules or managing existing habits, this episode will provide you with the strategies and insights you need to maintain a healthy, communicative relationship with your teen.
In this episode, I cover:
The Evolution of Teen Phone Use: How smartphones and social media have transformed over the years and the implications for today’s teens. Current Challenges: Issues related to constant connectivity, including exposure to inappropriate content, frequent distractions, and the distorted reality created by social media. Updated Guidelines: Practical, stage-based guidelines for managing phone use from early childhood to late adolescence, including recommended practices for different age groups. Handling Existing Phone Habits: Actionable advice on conducting the essential "oops conversation," negotiating new phone boundaries with your teen, and fostering a collaborative approach.For more tools and tips, be sure to register for my upcoming workshop How to Talk So Your Teen Will Listen. Reserve your spot today!
Sources mentioned in this episode:
Screen Sanity
Wait Until 8th
Phone Free Schools
The Anxious Generation
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In this encore episode, I discuss the challenges that come with transitions and strategies to support your teen when things get overwhelming.
The start of a new school year brings lots of newness. New schools, grades, teachers, sports, and possibly even social circles. Even if these things are expected and even welcomed, it can be a stressful time for both of you. So if you and/or your teen are feeling overwhelmed, you're not alone!
Fear not! I'm here to help. Tune in this week to learn how to help your teen cope with the emotional ups and downs of a transition. I'll also share tips for balancing schoolwork, friendships, and extracurricular activities.
Tune in for:
Effective strategies to connect with your teen when things feel shaky.
How to help your teen cope with the emotional ups and downs of a transition.
Tips for balancing schoolwork, friendships, and extracurricular activities.
Workshop Announcement!!
Registration is now open for my upcoming workshop, How To Talk So Your Teen Will Listen. Find details and secure your spot here. I’ll see you there!
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Are you tired of the endless screen time battles with your teenager? This week I’m joined by screen time expert, Emily Cherkin, who shares practical advice and strategies to help you navigate the digital world with your kids.
This episode is packed with actionable tips and expert insights to empower you to reclaim your family's time and attention.
Discover practical tips and strategies to help you:
Understand the impact of screen time on child development Build strong relationships with your kids in the digital age Set boundaries and expectations without causing conflict Overcome the guilt and shame often associated with parenting in the digital eraEmily's insights, combined with her experience as both a teacher and a parent, offer invaluable guidance for parents seeking to create a healthy balance between technology and family life.
Also, Don't miss my upcoming workshop "How to Talk So Your Teen Will Listen." Join the waitlist now to be the first to know when registration opens!
About Emily:
Emily Cherkin, MEd., The Screentime Consultant, empowers parents to understand and balance family screentime by inspiring a movement around becoming Tech-IntentionalTM. As a mother of two (13 & 16) and former teacher, she is intimately familiar with the daunting challenges facing families in today’s highly digitized world. Emily’s work has been featured in The New York Times, NPR, Vox, The Today Show, BBC, Good Morning, America, and even Chuck Norris has quoted her. Emily’s best-selling book, The Screentime
Solution: A Judgment-Free Guide to Becoming a Tech-Intentional Family, was published by Greenleaf Book Group in January 2024.
Emily's Website
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It’s me, hi, I’m the problem, it’s me!
Are you tired of feeling like you're constantly battling with your teen? It might be time to look in the mirror. In this episode, I discuss the idea that sometimes, the problem isn't just your teen.
Inspired by Taylor Swift's "Anti-Hero," we explore the importance of self-reflection in parenting.
You’ll learn how to identify potential areas where you can improve as a parent, from adjusting your expectations to changing your reactive behaviors. I’ll also provide practical tools and questions to help you assess your parenting style and foster a healthier relationship with your teen.
Don't miss my upcoming workshop "How to Talk So Your Teen Will Listen." Join the waitlist now to be the first to know when registration opens!
Key Takeaways:
The significance of self-awareness in parenting Practical steps to change your parenting approach How to identify your role in challenging teen behaviors--
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Are you worried your teen isn't "on track"? Feeling overwhelmed by societal pressures and expectations? You're not alone.
In this episode, I talk about the challenges parents face when their teen doesn't fit the mold. From academic struggles to social pressures, I'll share practical advice and real-life stories to help you learn how to let go of unrealistic timelines, support your teen's unique journey, and build a stronger connection.
Topics discussed include:
How societal pressures and well-intentioned advice can create unnecessary stress for both parents and teens. The importance of understanding that your teen has their own unique journey and timeline. How to trust your teen's ability to make their own decisions and navigate life's challenges (with your support, of course!).--
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Join me for a conversation about personal style and parenting with image consultant Kendra Porter.
In this episode, we discuss how to rediscover your sense of style while guiding your teen towards expressing their individuality.
Other topics include:
Kendra's journey from personal style struggles to becoming a successful image consultant. The meaning behind Kendra's motto, "Honor Your Style, Honor You," and how it applies to both parents and teens. The power of clothing as a form of communication and how to use it to boost confidence. Practical tips on how to rekindle your personal style after focusing on family life. Strategies for using clothing to feel good about your body, regardless of size or shape. How to encourage your teen's unique style while setting appropriate boundaries. Tips for helping your teen develop a stylish wardrobe without breaking the bank.Whether you're a style-conscious parent or simply looking for inspiration, this episode is for you!
About Kendra:
Kendra Porter is a TEDx speaker, an award-winning image consultant, and wardrobe stylist. As founder of HonorYourStyle, she has worked with thousands of clients, helping them to reimagine their style. Her method of styling focuses on storytelling, using fashion as a tool in personal branding to communicate who you are to the world. These days, you’ll find Kendra on a microphone producing events for luxury retailers, facilitating trainings on personal branding and style, teaching at the Fashion Institute of Technology, or in-studio dressing on-air talent for NBC Sports and the Olympics. Her motto: “HonorYourStyle. HONOR YOU!”
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In this episode, I’m joined by Jo Figueras, a spiritual medium and intuitive practices mentor, to talk about how parents can develop their intuition.
We discuss the importance of trusting your gut feeling and distinguishing intuition from fear. Jo also explains how numerology can help you better understand yourself and your teen.
Topics discussed include:
What intuition is and how it differs from fear The importance of inner work for parents How numerology can be a tool for self-understanding and parenting Different ways to connect with your intuition (meditation, oracle cards, synchronicities) The role of spirit guides and higher powersMore on Jo:
Jo Figueras is a Spiritual Medium, Akashic Record Consultant, Consciousness Growth Mentor and the co-host of the Esoterix Podcast.
You can connect with her in all the ways, via her linktree: Spiritual Tetralogy
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On this episode, I'm joined by Katie K. May, author of the bestselling book, You're on Fire, It's Fine. Katie shares her personal journey as a "troubled teen" and her subsequent career as a therapist specializing in teens with self-destructive behaviors.
She offers invaluable insights into parents' challenges when their teen is struggling, emphasizing the importance of understanding and validating their teen’s experience.
Topics discussed in this episode:
How to create a supportive environment for your teen Practical strategies for understanding and validating your teen's experience How to support your teen, even when they resist help Underlying reasons behind self-destructive behaviors How to build a stronger parent-teen relationship through the "hierarchy of connection."Resources:
You’re On Fire, It’s Fine: Effective Strategies for Parenting Teens with Self-Destructive Behaviors
Creative Healing
Katie's Instagram
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Ever scroll through social media and see those perfect pictures of moms and their kids? Maybe their kid just aced a test, or they're on some amazing vacation, or even just look like they're having a blast together.
And you get that SINKING feeling in your gut?
You wonder what the heck you’re doing wrong and why your life isn’t as “perfect” as theirs seems to be.
We've all been there. That feeling that you just don’t measure up.
Mom guilt, it's a real thing and something all of my clients experience.
Topics discussed in this episode:
What mom guilt is and where it comes from 4 steps to stop the guilt from taking over The importance of honoring your needs and protecting your time How to stop feeling pressured to “do it all” My secret process for finding joy and contentmentMentioned in this episode:
The Feelings Wheel
Episode 121: Mom Burnout: Feeling Drained and Disconnected?
Episode 21: How to Set Healthy Boundaries: A Guide for Teens and Parents
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We all have an inner critic. That voice in our head that tells us we don’t measure up. In the coaching world, that voice is called a "gremlin.”
Everyone has one… even Taylor Swift! In this episode I’ll help you understand your gremlin, how it impacts your life, and most importantly, how to manage it.
In this episode, you'll learn:
What the gremlin is and how and why it's formed Three ways your gremlin can hold you back The three key steps to silencing your gremlin. How managing your gremlin can lead to greater confidence, self-acceptance, and achieving your full potentialThis episode is for parents and teens alike! Have a listen if you:
Struggle with self-doubt and negative self-talk Avoid challenges or play small Want to learn how to be more compassionate towards yourself Are ready to break free from limitations and reach your goalsResources:
Episode 3: Perfectionism in Teens
Episode 49: Helping Your Teen Silence Their Inner Critic
Taming Your Gremlin by Rick Carson
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Is your teen hanging with the "wrong crowd"? This week, I discuss the tricky topic of negative friendships in the teen years.
I’ll talk about why teens gravitate towards certain friends, and how to navigate the situation without pushing them further away.
Learn how to:
Communicate effectively without criticizing or lecturing. Set clear expectations and consequences. Become a safe space for your teen and their friends. Find alternative influences and leadership opportunities. Get support for yourself as you navigate this challenging phase.--
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Summer is upon us, and you know what that means? More downtime for your teenager… and possibly a lot more screen time than you'd like.
In this episode, I will share some strategies to help your teen ditch the phone and have a fun and balanced summer break.
Topics include:
The Summer Wheel: How to use this tool to help your teenager find balance in their daily schedule The 7 Essentials of a Well-Rounded Summer A fresh perspective on managing screen time How to help your teenager understand the meaning of time well spent and be more intentional with their time--
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