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In this episode, I'm making a significant shift in how I show up on this podcast - no more hiding behind research or filtering myself through fear. After recognizing how my divorce led me to develop protective coping mechanisms, I'm ready to get real, raw, and occasionally curse-word-filled as we explore everything from relationships and parenting to dealing with high-conflict personalities. If you're tired of shrinking yourself to fit into a pretty box that makes everyone else comfortable, join me as we start saying the things that truly matter.
https://www.instagram.com/nicole_bachle/
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Today, I explored how a simple comment about manipulation during my walk led me to deeply examine what it looks like in our closest relationships. I realized that manipulation often goes unnoticed because we become desensitized to it, especially with people we care about. If you feel like you're walking on eggshells with someone or they use your vulnerabilities against you, it might be time to recognize these patterns and set boundaries for healthier relationships.
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In today's episode, I explore how our past experiences—our "scars"—influence our daily interactions and relationships, drawing insights from the fascinating Dartmouth University "Scar Experiment" from the 1980s. I share personal stories about my own triggers, from aggressive honking on the road to my defensive reactions with my son and colleagues, to illustrate how we often respond not just to present situations but to accumulated past hurts. By providing practical three-step guidance for managing our reactions, I hope to help listeners recognize when they're viewing current situations through the lens of old wounds and learn how to respond differently. This episode is perfect for anyone looking to understand their emotional triggers and break free from patterns that no longer serve them.
** I am not a therapist, this podcast simply shares life experiences and research.www.instagram.com/nicole_bachle
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Exploring the distinction between intentional ignorance and willful blindness, this episode delves into how we often choose to ignore uncomfortable truths that could disrupt our comfort. Through examples ranging from the 2008 housing crisis to our personal relationships with food, technology, and sleep, we examine how rationalization becomes willful blindness's constant companion. The episode challenges listeners to catch their "yeah, buts" and examine why they might be choosing to dismiss important information that could benefit their lives.
“There are two ways to be fooled. One is to believe what isn’t true; the other is to refuse to believe what is true.” Soren Kierkegaard
https://www.instagram.com/nicole_bachle
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In this episode, I explore the concept of shadow work and how it relates to decision-making, especially in our most important relationships. I share my personal struggles with my daughter and how past experiences influence our interactions. Using the analogy of a photo library, I discuss how we assign meaning to different aspects of our lives and the importance of bringing our hidden parts into the light. I break down a complex decision-making process, considering the perspectives of ego, heart, and intuition, to demonstrate how our 'shadow' selves impact our choices.
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In this episode, I process through the concept of living life in "portrait mode" - a photography-inspired approach to focusing on what truly matters. Join me as I explore practical ways to shift from a scattered "photo mode" existence to a more centered, purposeful "portrait mode" life. This episode is for anyone feeling overwhelmed and seeking to realign their focus with their true priorities.
https://www.instagram.com/nicole_bachle
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In this episode, I revisit the importance of routines and processes in our daily lives. I break down key components of morning, evening, and workday routines, emphasizing how they can boost productivity and reduce stress. I also discuss decluttering - physical, emotional, and mental - as a way to create more space and clarity in our lives. Finally, I share some productivity hacks like time blocking, batch processing, and habit stacking to help you refine your routines and processes for a more organized and fulfilling life.
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In this episode, I wrap up our series on ways we make our lives more challenging than necessary. I explore several topics including letting go of control, overcoming fear of change, nurturing friendships, asking for help, and dealing with imposter syndrome. I also discuss the importance of avoiding overcommitment, moving past regrets, and nurturing our passions. Throughout the episode, I offer practical advice on how to address these challenges and create a more balanced, fulfilling life.
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In this week's episode, I'm diving into three more sneaky ways we make life harder for ourselves: negativity bias, all-or-nothing thinking, and not advocating for ourselves. I break down why our brains love to focus on the negative, how black-and-white thinking sets us up for failure, and why speaking up for ourselves is crucial (but often scary). As always, I'm sharing practical tips to help you recognize these patterns and make small shifts towards a more balanced, fulfilling life. Remember, progress is progress – even if it's not perfect!
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In this episode, I discuss three more habits that can make our lives more difficult: recognizing burnout, prioritizing self-care, and accepting our flaws. I emphasize the importance of acknowledging burnout, taking breaks, and practicing self-compassion. I also highlight how accepting our imperfections can free us from unrealistic standards and allow us to focus on what truly matters. This episode is all about small, incremental changes that can lead to big improvements in our well-being.
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The 4 -year anniversary of this podcast coincides with the 15-year anniversary of my dad's passing, I find myself reflecting on the profound impact he had on my life. Though the pain of his loss will never fully subside, I take comfort in the lasting legacy he left behind - his kindness, wisdom, and unwavering support that continue to guide me even in his absence. Listen in this short episode reflecting on the impact we can make.
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In this episode, I reflect on how my life has unfolded in the last four years, and how I never could have predicted the challenges and growth I've experienced. Practicing forgiveness, learning to be true to myself has been the foundation that has sustained me through difficult times. I encourage you to embrace the ups and downs of life, to show up authentically, and to focus on their own journey rather than trying to control others. I'll be back in two weeks with Season 4.
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In today's episode, I explore the challenge of receiving love, especially for those who identify as givers. I delve into why we often resist receiving and share signs that indicate this resistance. I discuss the concept of selfless versus otherish givers, drawing insights from Adam Grant's book "Give and Take." I offer practical advice on how to become better at receiving, including tips on accepting compliments and setting boundaries. Finally, I encourage listeners to reflect on their giving style and take steps towards a more balanced approach that allows for both giving and receiving.
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In this episode of our summer series on life lessons, I dive into the topic of conflict. Drawing from Mark Twain's wisdom, I explore why healthy conflict is essential for personal growth and stronger relationships. I share insights on approaching conflict with curiosity and openness, emphasizing the importance of focusing on solutions rather than winning. Join me as I reflect on my own experiences with conflict and offer practical tips for managing uncomfortable situations.
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In this episode, I explored the distinction between sharing personal stories and gossiping, inspired by Anne Lamott's quote about owning our stories. I discuss various factors that differentiate gossip from storytelling, such as intent, focus, and emotional content. To help navigate this line, I offered key questions we can ask ourselves about our motivations and the potential impact of sharing information. Ultimately, I emphasized the importance of focusing on our own experiences when sharing stories, while also being mindful of how we treat others.
Notable quotes:
"You own everything that happened to you, tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better." - Anne Lamott
"Owning our stories can be hard, but it's not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it." - Brené Brown
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In this episode, I dive into the age-old adage "actions speak louder than words" and how it applies to our relationships and personal growth. I explore how different personality types, based on the Myers-Briggs system, tend to align (or misalign) their words and actions. I also discuss three personality disorders where intentional misalignment between words and actions is common. Finally, I offer advice on how to approach loved ones when you notice a disconnect between their words and actions, emphasizing the importance of understanding and compassion.
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In this episode, I discuss the importance of recognizing red, yellow, and green flags in relationships and friendships. I break down what these different flags look like - green flags indicating healthy behavior, yellow flags suggesting caution is needed, and red flags signaling deal-breakers or abuse. I emphasize that red flags don't change or diminish, so we need to uphold our standards instead of rationalizing unacceptable behavior. Ultimately, I encourage listeners to assess the flags present in their own relationships.
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In this episode, I discuss the tendency to complain or make petty comments on social media platforms, rather than collaborating or bringing value. I question why we feel the need to share certain things online that we wouldn't say in person, and whether we are truly engaging to share knowledge or just seeking an echo chamber. Ultimately, I urge listeners to think critically before posting and ask themselves if they are part of the solution or the problem.
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In this episode, I discuss ways we can all get along better, like assuming positive intent from others, being mindful of how social media makes me feel, picking my battles wisely, and embracing more whimsy and laughter in our life instead of taking everything so seriously. I encourage listeners to pause from the seriousness, do things their soul loves, and find ways to enjoy the summer days more.
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Today we consider how our perceptions of loved ones can change when the way we feel toward them changes, leading to a discussion about recognizing unresolved issues in relationships. I share what I spent years pretending not to know, unhappiness in my former marriage, and encourages open communication, seeking help, and deciding if you want to heal or move on from an unfulfilling relationship. Ultimately, advocating for having the courage to "say the things" we are pretending not to know.
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