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In today's episode, we explore the transformative power of defiance and the role it plays in aligning with our values with Dr. Sunita Sah, a renowned expert in decision-making and organizational psychology. A professor, speaker, and consultant, Dr. Sah empowers leaders to navigate complex ethical landscapes and make principled choices. As the author of Defy: The Power of No in a World That Demands Yes, she redefines what it means to stand up for your values, offering practical tools to resist undue influence and cultivate moral courage.
Join us for an eye-opening conversation with Dr. Sunita Sah as she redefines what it means to say "no" in a world that pressures us to say "yes." Why do we so often comply with demands that go against our values? How can we cultivate the courage to resist undue influence while staying true to ourselves? Dr. Sah delves into the psychology of defiance, the societal impact of compliance, and the powerful ripple effects of standing up for what matters most. Learn how to align your actions with your core values, navigate social pressure with confidence, and become a moral maverick in both your personal and professional life. Discover actionable strategies to unlock the transformative power of principled defiance and reshape the world around you.
What to Listen For
Introduction – 00:00:00
Why is defiance often misunderstood, and how can it be a proactive force for positive change?
What is Dr. Sah’s new definition of defiance, and how does it differ from traditional perceptions?
Why is acting in accordance with your values crucial in resisting social pressure?
How do everyday acts of compliance and dissent shape society at large?
Understanding Social Pressure and Compliance – 00:06:09
How does societal conditioning teach us to equate compliance with goodness?
What is insinuation anxiety, and how does it inhibit people from resisting bad advice?
Why do so many professionals, from healthcare workers to airline crew members, hesitate to speak up in critical situations?
The Defiance Compass: A Framework for Decision-Making – 00:18:45
What are the five elements required for true defiance, and how do they align with the concept of informed consent?
How can identifying your core values and understanding a situation help you determine when to defy?
What are the psychological and physical costs of living out of alignment with your values?
How does chronic compliance lead to burnout, stress, and regret?
Why is acknowledging and addressing your internal tension a critical step toward principled defiance?
Building the Courage to Defy – 00:28:09
How can practicing defiance in low-stakes situations help you build the confidence to act in higher-stakes moments?
Why is visualization and scripting important for preparing to act on your values?
How can asking clarifying questions like “What do you mean by that?” create powerful ripple effects in group dynamics?
Becoming a Moral Maverick – 00:46:04
What does it mean to be a moral maverick, and how can practicing defiance create lasting change?
How do small acts of principled defiance lead to greater personal fulfillment and societal impact?
What mindset shifts are required to stop equating compliance with being good and embrace defiance as a positive force?
How can understanding and practicing principled defiance improve your personal and professional relationships?
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In today’s episode, we discuss the science of human decision-making and behavior with Dan Ariely, a world-renowned expert in psychology and behavioral economics. As the James B. Duke Professor of Psychology and Behavioral Economics at Duke University, Dan has dedicated his career to uncovering the irrational patterns that drive our decisions. He’s the author of multiple bestselling books, including Predictably Irrational, The Upside of Irrationality, and The Honest Truth About Dishonesty, where he explores the predictable mistakes we make and how understanding them can lead to better outcomes in life, business, and relationships.
Join us for an eye-opening conversation with Dan Ariely as he explores the hidden biases and patterns that influence our decisions, from everyday choices to life-altering moments. Why do we often invest more time deciding on small purchases than major life decisions? How does regret shape our behavior, and why do we favor inaction over action? Dan shares powerful insights into the psychological forces at play in our decision-making, the tension between market and social norms, and how to build habits and environments that support better outcomes.
What to Listen For
Introduction – 00:00:00
What is regret, and how does it bias us toward inaction over action?
How did Dan’s experience in the hospital lead to groundbreaking research on irrational behaviors?
Why do people spend more time on medium-sized decisions than life-changing ones like marriage or buying a house?
What does Dan’s research reveal about indecision and its long-term costs?
Overcoming Indecision and the Role of Regret – 00:07:24
How does regret influence our tendency to avoid taking action?
What mental strategies can we use to frame decisions more effectively and reduce indecision?
Why is setting a deadline a critical tool for making tough choices?
Building Habits and Simplifying Decisions – 00:17:45
Why is it essential to focus on process rather than outcome when evaluating decisions?
How can creating rituals and habits reduce decision fatigue and lead to better outcomes?
What are Dan’s personal strategies for avoiding temptation and building productive habits?
Market Norms vs. Social Norms – 00:31:56
What are market norms and social norms, and why do they often conflict?
How can introducing financial incentives harm social motivations?
Why is it difficult to shift back to social norms once market norms dominate a relationship?
Trust, Relationships, and Long-Term Success – 00:40:02
How does trust develop in long-term relationships, and why does it thrive under social norms?
What role does empathy play in fostering trust and cooperation?
Why are open-ended interactions more effective at building trust than transactional exchanges?
Actionable Insights for Better Decision-Making – 00:46:00
How can we overcome regret, procrastination, and indecision in daily life?
Why should we prioritize the quality of our decision-making process over the unpredictability of outcomes?
What steps can leaders take to cultivate trust and align their organizations with social norms?
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In today's episode, we show you the cheat code to building deep relationships with AJ, Johnny, and Coach Michael.
Discover the secret language of connection in today’s episode as AJ, Johnny, and Coach Michael dive into the concept of emotional bids — the small, powerful moments that make or break our relationships. Why are emotional bids so vital to our personal and professional lives? How can we recognize them, and what happens when we ignore them? AJ and Johnny break down the science of emotional bids, share practical strategies to strengthen your connections, and reveal how simple shifts in awareness can transform the way you interact with others. Whether you're looking to deepen your personal relationships or enhance your influence at work, this episode is packed with actionable insights to help you build lasting, meaningful bonds.
What to Listen For
Introduction – 00:00:00
What are emotional bids, and how do they serve as subtle invitations to connect?
Why do so many relationships fail due to a lack of awareness about emotional bids?
Why is recognizing emotional bids a critical skill for relationship success?
How does ignoring your partner’s emotional bids lead to disconnection and eventually the end of the relationship?
The Science of Emotional Bids – 0:07:30
How can you predict the success or failure of a relationship based on 3 minutes of interaction?
What role does active listening play in identifying emotional bids during everyday conversations?
Why is it essential to focus on the emotions behind the words, rather than just the words themselves?
What strategies can make you more memorable and likable after just one conversation?
How to Identify Emotional Bids – 0:18:48
What exactly is an emotional bid and how do you recognize them in conversation or in your relationship?
What are the Most Common Emotional Bids? – 0:27:30
What are common types of emotional bids, such as bids for attention or emotional support?
What does it mean to "turn toward" an emotional bid, and why is it the foundation of lasting relationships?
How can "turning away" or "turning against" emotional bids contribute to relationship breakdowns?
What are the three ways to respond to emotional bids, and which response guarantees failure?
Leverage Emotional Bids for the Strongest Relationship – 0:48:02
What simple exercises can help you become more aware of emotional bids in your daily interactions?
How can a lack of attention to emotional bids lead to divorce or long-term relationship issues?
Why do emotional bids reflect vulnerability, and how does responding positively encourage deeper connection and trust?
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In today's episode, we talk about the value of tribalism with Michael Morris, the Chavkin-Chang Professor of Leadership at Columbia Business School and a Professor of Psychology at Columbia University. A renowned expert in leadership, negotiation, and cultural psychology, he has published over 200 articles in leading journals and recently released his book Tribal, exploring how leaders can harness shared cultural identities to unite and mobilize teams.
Join us for a thought-provoking conversation about the profound role of tribalism in shaping civilization and fostering healthy societies. Why is tribalism more than just a relic of the past? How does the social brain hypothesis explain our innate drive to connect and form groups? Michael Morris sheds light on how human mimicry sets us apart from other species, why tribalism has become such a heated topic, and how it can create vastly different perceptions of reality among people we interact with daily. Discover how politicians leverage tribalism to gain influence, when it becomes toxic to society, and the best ways to navigate relationships in a world divided by differing values.
What to Listen For
Introduction – 00:00:00
Why is tribalism a blessing to civilization and a healthy society?
What is the social brain hypothesis and how does it impact you tribally?
The Hardwiring of Tribalism in Your Brain – 00:12:44
What are the 3 instincts that are hardwired into your brain?
How does tribalism protect you, your family, your culture, and nation?
How does mimicry set humans apart from other animals that also exhibit mimicry?
The Big Deal of Tribalism – 00:23:46
Why and when did tribalism become a controversial topic?
Why do certain tribes have such different values?
How Tribalism Shapes Your Worldview – 00:30:17
How can tribalism create a completely different perception of reality from people you interact with everyday?
What factors influence the development or destruction of a tribe?
Tribalism, Politics, and Grass Roots Movements – 00:41:34
How do politicians leverage tribalism to gain popularity and influence?
At what point does tribalism become toxic to a society and what’s the best way to handle it when you know people in other tribes?
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In today's episode, we explore the transformative power of entrepreneurship and the ownership mindset with Codie Sanchez, an innovative investor, entrepreneur, and author. Codie is the visionary behind Main Street Millionaire, a groundbreaking book that redefines wealth creation by focusing on acquiring small, profitable businesses instead of starting from scratch. With a background in finance and years of experience at powerhouse firms like Goldman Sachs and Vanguard, Codie has become a leading voice in the art of creative deal-making and sustainable business growth. She’s helped thousands transition from the 9-to-5 grind to financial freedom, leveraging strategies that prioritize cash flow, scalability, and lifestyle design.
Join us for an eye-opening conversation with Codie Sanchez as she reveals the untapped potential of acquiring small, profitable businesses to build financial freedom and a life of purpose. What makes buying an existing business less risky—and often more lucrative—than starting one from scratch? How can shifting from an employee to an owner mindset transform your career and lifestyle? Codie dives into the strategies and mindset shifts needed to uncover undervalued opportunities, negotiate creative deals, and scale businesses to achieve cash flow and equity growth. Whether you're an aspiring entrepreneur or a seasoned professional looking to make a leap, this episode is packed with actionable insights to help you think like an owner, build wealth, and take control of your future.
What to Listen For
Introduction – 00:00:00
What does Codie see as the deeper purpose behind entrepreneurship and financial independence?
How can you shift from thinking like an employee to thinking like an owner?
What limiting beliefs hold people back from pursuing entrepreneurship, and how can they overcome them?
The Power of Small, Profitable Businesses – 00:10:44
How can you uncover undervalued businesses and transform them into lucrative opportunities?
Why is it essential to learn from others’ experience, and how can “stealing” their 10,000 hours accelerate your journey?
How can creative deal structures make owning a business more accessible than most people think?
Building Wealth Through Acquisitions – 00:17:42
How can strategic acquisitions help you grow your income, expand your customer base, or attract top talent?
Why does Codie believe buying multiple small businesses compounds both wealth and freedom?
What steps can you take to apply the “rich” framework (Research, Invest, Command, Harness) in your journey to business ownership?
Finding Your First Business to Buy – 00:30:17
What should you look for in your first acquisition to ensure it’s a wise investment?
In what ways can leveraging your skills and network make the difference in finding the right business to buy?
Why do “boring” businesses often lead to higher profits and lower competition?
What should you look for in a potential business partner and mentor?
Where should you look to get great deals on businesses for sale?
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In today's episode, we cover the art of negotiation, power dynamics, and effective leadership with Dr. Alison Fragale, a leading authority in organizational behavior. As a distinguished professor at the Kenan-Flagler Business School at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, Alison has dedicated her career to understanding how individuals acquire and exercise power and status within organizations. She is the author of the insightful new book, "Likeable Badass: How Women Get the Success They Deserve," combining her rich academic background with real-world applications, Alison empowers women to assert themselves authentically and achieve their career goals.
Join us for an insightful conversation with Dr. Alison Fragale as she unveils the hidden dynamics of power and status that shape our careers and personal lives. Discover how to balance assertiveness with likability, gain respect without compromising your true self, and build authentic status—even if you're new to an organization or battling imposter syndrome. Alison offers actionable strategies to inspire others to advocate on your behalf, navigate conversations that elevate your influence, and become a more impactful leader in your career and beyond.
What to Listen For
Introduction – 00:00:00
What inspired Alison Fragale to develop an interest in organizational psychology?
Why understanding the difference between power and status is crucial for building a fulfilling career and personal life.
How do you acquire status and then leverage it to gain power?
The Catch 22 of Acquiring Power – 00:07:55
What do most people get wrong about what it takes to gain power in your professional and personal life?
Can you be true to yourself if you are trying to acquire status and power?
The Secret to Balancing Assertiveness with Likability – 00:20:48
What is the key to being respected?
How can you be assertive without making people dislike you?
What strategy can you use to build your status authentically?
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In today’s episode, we uncover the secrets of leadership and team dynamics with Patrick Lencioni, a renowned expert in organizational health and teamwork. As the founder and president of The Table Group, Patrick has spent decades helping leaders build stronger organizations through practical tools and strategies. He’s the author of numerous bestselling books, including The Five Dysfunctions of a Team and his latest, The Six Types of Working Genius: A Better Way to Understand Your Gifts, Your Frustrations, and Your Team.
Get ready for an eye-opening conversation with Patrick Lencioni as he unpacks the powerful framework behind The Six Types of Working Genius. What if the key to unlocking your true potential—and that of your team—lies in understanding the types of work that energize and frustrate you? Patrick shares his groundbreaking model for identifying your natural talents, improving collaboration, and reducing burnout in every aspect of life, from your career to your relationships. We’ll explore how these six types of genius impact team dynamics, decision-making, and personal growth, and how embracing your strengths can lead to greater productivity and fulfillment. Whether you're a leader or simply looking to work smarter, this episode is packed with practical insights to help you thrive.
What to Listen For
Introduction – 00:00:34
What inspired Patrick Lencioni to develop The Six Types of Working Genius framework?
How did personal struggles at work lead Patrick to uncover the six types of genius?
Why understanding your working genius is crucial for building a fulfilling career and personal life.
The Six Types of Working Genius Explained – 00:04:41
What are the six types of working genius, and how do they relate to the phases of any project?
How can identifying your working frustrations help prevent burnout and dissatisfaction?
Why does every successful team need a balance of all six geniuses?
Applying Working Genius to Team Dynamics – 00:10:13
How can leaders use this framework to optimize team collaboration and performance?
What steps can you take to identify and leverage each team member’s genius?
How did a real-world software company transform its innovation process using this model?
Overcoming Miscommunication and Conflict – 00:19:33
How can understanding your working genius improve communication in personal relationships?
What are the common misconceptions about other people’s work styles, and how can this framework resolve them?
Why do working frustrations often lead to conflict, and how can teams overcome this?
Practical Applications Beyond the Workplace – 00:27:02
How can The Six Types of Working Genius help with tasks like planning a vacation or running a household?
Why understanding your genius is the next evolution beyond love languages in personal relationships.
How can couples use this framework to reduce stress and improve collaboration at home?
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In today’s episode, we explore the importance of community spaces and their role in fostering connection and resilience with Aaron Greiner, a pioneering voice in urban design and social infrastructure. As the executive director of CultureHouse, Aaron has transformed underutilized spaces into vibrant “third places” that bring people together, encourage social interaction, and strengthen community ties. With hands-on experience in urban planning and a passion for creating welcoming, inclusive environments, Aaron has been at the forefront of redefining how we view public spaces in urban areas.
Join us for an insightful conversation with Aaron Greiner as he explores the vital role of “third places” in reconnecting our communities and fostering genuine human interaction in a world increasingly dominated by digital connections. How can we reclaim public spaces as hubs for social connection? What are the hidden health and societal benefits of accessible community spaces? Aaron shares his experience transforming vacant storefronts into vibrant pop-ups, discusses the urgent need for social infrastructure, and reveals why gathering spaces are more crucial than ever for individual and collective resilience. Discover actionable ideas to create your own third place, connect with neighbors, and foster a stronger, more supportive community.
What to Listen For
Introduction – 00:00:00
What inspired Aaron Greiner to focus on third places and create CultureHouse?
How do third spaces differ from traditional public spaces, and why are they essential for community well-being?
What challenges did Aaron face when starting CultureHouse, and how has the organization evolved over time?
The Role of Third Places in Society – 00:03:14
What are “third places,” and how do they foster social connection and community?
Why have traditional third places, like dive bars and cafes, declined, and what does it mean for social infrastructure?
How does the setup of a third place affect how people interact and connect?
The Importance of Social Infrastructure – 00:07:28
How does Aaron define social infrastructure, and why is it vital to society?
Why did Aaron choose a popup model for CultureHouse’s third places, and what benefits does this approach provide?
What impact do third places have on local communities, especially those with limited access to public spaces?
The Pandemic’s Impact on Community Spaces – 00:08:50
How did COVID-19 exacerbate issues with social isolation and third places?
What role did commercial spaces play in social infrastructure before the pandemic, and how has that shifted?
How do communities with strong social infrastructure fare better during crises?
Research and Evidence Supporting Third Places – 00:10:20
What research highlights the life-and-death impact of social infrastructure in times of crisis?
How does the decline in social clubs and organizations contribute to societal division?
What can we learn from urban design in cities like Copenhagen to improve third spaces in the U.S.?
Suburbanization and Its Effects on Connection – 00:13:41
How has suburbanization and car dependency impacted Americans' ability to connect with each other?
What challenges do suburban layouts present for building social infrastructure?
How does urban design in Europe foster a greater sense of community compared to the U.S.?
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In today’s episode, we explore the transformative power of psychological flexibility with Dr. Ross White, an award-winning clinical psychologist and a leader in mental resilience and high-performance coaching. Currently a professor of clinical psychology at Queen’s University Belfast and founder of Strive to Thrive, Dr. White specializes in helping individuals and organizations unlock their potential while safeguarding mental well-being. His latest book, The Tree That Bends: How a Flexible Mind Can Help You Thrive, challenges the relentless “no-limits” mindset and presents a balanced approach to personal growth, integrating acceptance, commitment therapy, and mindfulness.
Join us for a compelling conversation with Dr. Ross White as we explore the power of psychological flexibility in achieving true resilience and mental well-being. How can we balance the grit needed for high performance with the adaptability essential for sustainable growth? Dr. White discusses the “get, threat, and reset” modes that guide our energy and performance, revealing how psychological flexibility can protect us from burnout while enhancing success. Discover actionable insights into balancing ambition with rest, redefining mental toughness, and navigating the social pressures that drive relentless striving. This episode offers a new approach to thriving under pressure, helping you to achieve both performance and well-being in your personal and professional life.
What to Listen For
Introduction – 00:00:00
What are the “get, threat, and reset” modes that drive our mental energy and resilience?
How does Dr. Ross White’s background in clinical psychology influence his approach to high performance and mental well-being?
What can listeners expect from Dr. White’s latest book, The Tree That Bends, on balancing ambition with self-care?
Redefining Resilience: Beyond Grit – 00:04:28
Why can grit sometimes be a barrier rather than a strength in high-stress environments?
What does “thriving” truly mean according to Dr. White, and how does it balance both well-being and performance?
How can persistence become counterproductive, and what role does adaptability play in reaching our goals?
The Power of Psychological Flexibility in High-Performance Settings – 00:07:49
What is the importance of adaptability for executives, athletes, and other high achievers in preventing burnout?
How can the “get, threat, and reset” framework help maintain peak performance while prioritizing mental health?
Why should high performers balance drive with self-awareness and adaptability?
Embracing Limits and Building Purpose – 00:13:00
What are “when-then” traps, and how can they hinder long-term fulfillment?
How does Dr. White recommend redefining success to include well-being and self-care?
Why is it vital to build purpose that aligns with personal values, rather than societal expectations?
Harnessing Psychological Flexibility to Reduce Stress – 00:19:28
What is “psychological flexibility,” and how can it help us handle life’s stressors with greater resilience?
How does comparing oneself to social media “highlight reels” fuel burnout, and what are healthier alternatives?
Why is cultivating personal values a cornerstone of thriving under pressure?
Techniques for Emotional Awareness and Anchoring – 00:33:41
How can techniques like the “roving reporter” exercise help us detach from negative thought patterns?
What is “anchoring,” and why is it essential for managing challenging emotions?
Why is emotional awareness crucial for navigating stress and making effective decisions?
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In today's episode, we discuss anxiety and worry with Ben Eckstein, a leading expert in the treatment of anxiety and rumination. As the owner and director of Bull City Anxiety and OCD Treatment Center, Ben specializes in helping individuals break free from cycles of overthinking and distress. He brings a wealth of clinical experience and knowledge as a therapist, speaker, and author of Worrying is Optional: Break the Cycle of Anxiety and Rumination That Keeps You Stuck, where he explores practical strategies for managing anxiety and reclaiming peace of mind. Through his work, Ben aims to empower others to build balanced lives that align with their values, offering actionable insights for anyone struggling with anxiety.
Join us for an insightful conversation with Ben Eckstein as we explore the nature of anxiety, worry, and the mental traps that keep us stuck in cycles of rumination. What drives our constant need to overthink, and how can we shift our relationship with worry to regain control of our lives? Ben shares his expertise on distinguishing between helpful and unhelpful thoughts, the factors that contribute to anxiety, and practical approaches for managing it effectively. Discover actionable strategies to break free from overthinking, cultivate a balanced mindset, and build a life aligned with your values. Learn how to transform worry from a barrier into a tool for growth and resilience in both your personal and professional life.
What to Listen For
Introduction – 00:00:00
What is worry, and how can you tell when it becomes a problem in your life?
Why do some people worry more than others, and what role do genetics and environment play in anxiety?
How can you differentiate between worrying as a habit and worrying as a productive response?
Controlling Worry vs. Accepting It – 00:05:26
Why is it important to distinguish between “worry” as a noun and “worrying” as a verb?
What aspects of worry are within our control, and when is it best to let go?
How can identifying whether a problem is solvable or unsolvable help reduce anxiety?
Building a Healthier Relationship with Worry – 00:11:10
What does it mean to have a relationship with worry, and how can you assess whether yours is healthy?
Why might some positive beliefs about worry actually perpetuate anxiety?
How can reframing your thoughts about worry lead to greater mental freedom?
Tools and Techniques to Manage Worry – 00:18:04
What strategies can help you become more aware of your worry patterns?
How can scheduling “worry time” or saying worries out loud help diminish their power?
Why is practicing attention control essential for breaking the cycle of rumination?
Accepting Uncertainty – 00:30:03
How can you develop a “good enough” threshold when seeking certainty?
Why is embracing uncertainty an important skill, and what role does acceptance play in managing anxiety?
What exercises can help you practice accepting uncertainty in daily life?
Helping Others Who Worry – 00:42:55
How can you support a friend or family member who struggles with chronic worry?
Why does offering reassurance often fall short, and what are more effective alternatives?
What can you do to validate someone’s feelings while encouraging them to build resilience?
Replacing Worry with Productive Actions – 00:53:55
What should you replace worry with, and how can you identify healthier coping mechanisms?
How can perspective-taking and looking back at past worries help reduce current anxiety?
Why is it crucial to find constructive activities that fulfill the same needs that worrying addresses?
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In today’s episode, we cover overcoming procrastination and loneliness at work with Adam Grant. Adam is a top-rated professor at the Wharton School, the host of the awesome Worklife podcast, and is the author of “Give and Take”, one of his four New York Times bestselling books.
Procrastination is associated with laziness by many, but the science shows us otherwise - so if procrastinators aren’t lazy then why do we assume they are, what can you do about your procrastination if you want to change it, and why is now the best time to overcome your procrastination habit?
What to Listen For
What can you do today to overcome your procrastination habits?
How do we redesign jobs that now have to operate from a distance?
Why is it more challenging to work remotely and what can you do to overcome them so you don’t lose your job?
What questions can you ask someone to help them figure out what motivates them so you can help them become a happier and more productive employee?
What can we do as leaders to help our coworkers and employees grapple with the loneliness that accompanies working from home for many people?
What is one of the most powerful antidotes to loneliness that we can give people any time?
What simple exercise can you go through with your employees or coworkers to immediately improve their creativity and productivity?
What can you do to immediately win the battle over procrastination while you’re working from home?
How can you break down your procrastination into understandable chunks so you can easily overcome them?
What does the science say about the ideal workplace environment so you can make your office more conducive to your work?
What should we be most concerned about as we come out of this quarantine and will we be able to return to normal?
If you find yourself procrastinating, it’s not necessarily a problem with your work ethic, but can certainly be a problem with your ability to regulate your emotions. When confronted with a task that makes you feel uncomfortable (angry, uncertainty, frustrated, annoyed, anxious, etc), procrastination can kick in to help you avoid feeling those things. So what can you do to mitigate these responses and overcome your procrastination before it costs you an awesome opportunity? Tune in to find out!
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Resources from this Episode
Adam Grant’s website
Give and Take: Why Helping Others Drives Our Success by Adam Grant
Core Confidence
Worklife - a podcast hosted by Adam Grant
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
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In today's episode, we discuss the dynamics of relationships, empathy, and conflict resolution with Dr. Warren Farrell, a renowned thought leader in gender studies and communication. As the author of multiple bestselling books, including The Boy Crisis and his latest, Role Mate to Soul Mate: The 7 Secrets to Lifelong Love, Dr. Farrell has spent over 30 years teaching couples the art of effective communication. Named one of the world’s top 100 thought leaders by the Financial Times, he specializes in helping couples build lasting relationships through empathy, appreciation, and conflict-free communication.
Join us for a compelling conversation with Dr. Warren Farrell as he unpacks the emotional dynamics that define our relationships and the steps we can take to nurture lifelong love. How can we resolve conflicts without escalating defensiveness? What’s the secret to creating a conflict-free zone in your relationship? Dr. Farrell shares his deep expertise on how appreciation, empathy, and his transformative 4-step apology can reshape even the most strained relationships. Discover actionable strategies to enhance communication, build deeper emotional connections, and foster a resilient partnership that can weather any storm. Whether you're looking to improve your romantic relationship or strengthen bonds with those closest to you, this episode is packed with practical tips to help you succeed.
What to Listen For
Introduction – 00:00:00
What inspired Dr. Warren Farrell to write Role Mate to Soul Mate?
How does Dr. Farrell define the difference between a “role mate” and a “soul mate”?
What are the common challenges couples face as they transition from passion to routine, and how can they overcome them?
Creating a Conflict-Free Zone – 00:06:24
Why is it essential to establish a conflict-free zone in relationships?
How does this practice help couples avoid walking on eggshells and promote honest communication?
What are the steps involved in the caring and sharing practice that Dr. Farrell recommends?
Family Dynamics and Parenting – 00:11:17
How do different parenting philosophies create tension between partners?
What is “checks and balance” parenting, and why is it crucial for long-term harmony?
How does Dr. Farrell suggest couples manage conflicts regarding child-rearing?
The Importance of Regular Appreciation – 00:13:37
Why does regular appreciation help maintain strong relationships?
What are the five levels of specificity in appreciation, and how do they deepen emotional connections?
How can couples create routines, like weekly date nights, to build appreciation and gratitude into their relationship?
The Impact of Modernity on Family Structures – 00:23:01
How does modern society challenge the traditional family structure?
What role does the absence of fathers play in the development of boys and girls?
Why is the rising rate of single-parent households a product of modern societal shifts?
Balancing Career Success with Love – 00:28:21
How do the skills that make you successful at work hinder success in love?
What can high-performing professionals do to shift their mindset and improve communication at home?
Why is listening, rather than problem-solving, key to strengthening emotional connections?
The Importance of Regular Appreciation – 00:35:38
Why does regular appreciation help maintain strong relationships?
What are the five levels of specificity in appreciation, and how do they deepen emotional connections?
How can couples create routines, like weekly date nights, to build appreciation and gratitude into their relationship?
The 4-Step Apology Framework – 00:49:42
What are the four critical components of an effective apology?
How can this apology method transform conflict resolution in relationships?
Why is tone of voice just as important as the words used in an apology?
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In today's episode, we review the greatest hits around building resilience and leveraging social skills to get you closer to your goals, drawing on our insightful conversations with Angela Duckworth, Laura Huang, John Livesay, and Steven Hayes.
Life gets rough. It’s important to develop good habits while things are going smoothly so when the seas get rough, you have a strong baseline to fall back on. Grit and resilience are integral to your success in life because they make the tough times easier to push through without feeling like the world is collapsing around you.
What to Listen For
Introduction – 00:00:00
What is the difference between talent and effort?
What is the foundation for reaching your goals and how do you make it strong?
What are the two P’s you need to push toward your goals?
This always beats talent alone – 00:09:48
What should you focus on if you want to be the best and you weren’t “born with talent?”
How do you maintain your passion in something when you keep failing at it?
Breaking down goals to make them easy – 00:14:48
How can you break down goals and objectives in a way that makes them feel easier while also motivating you to stick with them?
What can you do to stop getting caught up in the past and focus on the future?
How to trust your gut – 00:24:05
What can you do to develop your intuition and learn when to rely on it?
What will always outperform hard work in the world we live in now?
Why is “just be yourself” terrible advice even though there is a kernel of truth embedded in it?
Overcome your fear of rejection today – 00:34:46
What one exercise can you do today to overcome your fear of rejection so you can push forward after every “no” without missing a beat?
What is the secret to not taking rejection personally so you can maintain your focus and mood in the face of overwhelming rejection?
Stop letting your inner critic dictate your life – 00:41:42
What can you do to release the death grip that your inner critic has on your life so you take risks and chase your big goals without fear of failure?
Why do you need to develop competence?
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In today's episode, we explore money and investing with Mark Matson. Mark is an American entrepreneur, author, and innovator in the science of investing and financial education. He creates educational experiences, platforms, and tools that make investing research accessible to investors and transform their relationship with money. His new book, “Experiencing the American Dream: How to Invest Your Time, Energy, and Money to Create an Extraordinary Life” is out now. Mark challenges the traditional definition of the American dream and what many of us get wrong when defining it.
Join us for an insightful conversation with Mark Matson as we discuss why money doesn’t equal happiness and how more money leads to more stress, why you need to understand academic investment principles to save yourself from gambling your retirement away, how to overcome the scarcity mindset to build your American dream, and what it takes to find your purpose and live an extraordinary life.
What to Listen For
Introduction – 00:00:28
How does Mark Matson define the American dream differently?
What problems does money NOT solve?
Identify Your Blindspots with Money – 00:09:03
How do you identify your blindspots with money and then fix them so they don’t hinder your success in life?
What can you focus on to make ANY amount of money feel like enough?
Intelligent Investing vs Stock Gambling – 00:16:15
What behaviors in the stock market make you a gambler vs an investor?
Are big investing firms actually great at investing your money or just lucky over the long term?
Why is the investing industry broken and can it be fixed?
What are the 3 academic investing principles you can apply to mitigate the biggest risks associated with investing?
Why Investing Solo Will Lose You Money – 00:27:34
What natural human tendencies make it an uphill battle to succeed as a solo investor and what value does a coach bring to the table?
How do you apply the 3 academic investing principles when you’re just starting out?
The Investing Roadmap to Prosperity– 00:39:01
What is the secret to creating life changing wealth?
How do you build financial security and freedom if you don’t want to be an entrepreneur?
5 Discoveries That Will Change How You Think About Money – 00:48:22
What 5 facts about investing will change the way you think about money and help prevent you from making huge mistakes?
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In today's episode, we explore the world of accelerated learning and skill mastery with Scott Young, a leading expert on self-directed learning and productivity. As the best-selling author of Ultralearning and Get Better at Anything: 12 Maxims for Mastery, Scott has transformed the way people approach acquiring new skills, pushing the boundaries of what’s possible through deliberate practice and innovative techniques. Known for his ambitious project of learning MIT's 4-year computer science curriculum in just one year without attending any classes, Scott has dedicated his career to understanding how we can learn faster, overcome our fears, and achieve mastery in any field.
Join us for an insightful conversation with Scott Young as he shares with us the art and science of ultra learning—how we can master new skills at an accelerated pace and break through the barriers that hold us back. What are the most effective ways to learn quickly and efficiently? How can we overcome the fear of failure and the anxiety that often accompanies new challenges? Scott shares his expert insights into the principles of deliberate practice, the importance of feedback, and the myths that often cloud our understanding of talent and ability.
What to Listen For
Introduction – 00:00:28
How did Scott Young become a leading expert in self-directed learning and skill mastery?
What inspired Scott to tackle the challenge of learning MIT’s 4-year computer science curriculum in just one year without attending any classes?
What are the core ideas behind Scott's books Ultra Learning and Get Better at Anything, and how can they help you master new skills faster?
The Three Pillars of Learning – 00:02:34
What are the three essential steps to mastering any skill?
What examples demonstrate that talent often appears effortless due to extensive practice and refinement?
How can you apply these insights to push past the limits of what you believe is possible for yourself?
Overcoming Fear and Embracing Exposure – 00:10:49
Why is exposure to what you're afraid of critical for overcoming fear and anxiety in learning?
How can gradual exposure to challenging situations, like public speaking or cold calling, help reduce fear over time?
What are some practical strategies to start applying exposure therapy in your personal and professional life?
Unlearning Bad Habits – 00:18:42
What challenges come with unlearning ingrained habits, and how can you effectively replace them with better techniques?
How did AJ’s experience with unlearning a golf swing illustrate the difficulties and importance of relearning a skill the right way?
Why is it sometimes necessary to learn completely new approaches when trying to unlearn bad habits?
The Importance of Simplification in Early Learning – 00:22:21
How does starting with simplified versions of a skill help accelerate the learning process?
What can we learn from flight simulators about the benefits of practicing in a controlled, simplified environment before facing real-world challenges?
Why does beginning with the basics lay a stronger foundation for mastering more complex skills later on?
The Value of Variable Practice – 00:28:04
How does variable practice, or mixing up different types of practice, enhance learning and adaptability?
Why is practicing in varied conditions more effective than repetitive practice, and how can this approach be applied to everyday learning?
What are some examples of variable practice that can be used for skills like language learning, sports, or public speaking?
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In today’s episode, we cover emotions and empathy with Karla McLaren, a renowned expert in emotional intelligence and empathy development. As an award-winning author, educator, and social science researcher, Karla dedicated her career to helping individuals and organizations understand and harness the power of emotions. She developed the "Six Essential Aspects of Empathy" model, which breaks down empathy into accessible and actionable steps, making it possible for everyone to enhance their emotional skills. Karla's books, including "The Language of Emotions," "The Power of Emotions at Work," and "Embracing Anxiety," offer transformative insights into revaluing even the most challenging emotions, turning them into pathways for self-awareness, effective communication, and healthier relationships.
Join us for an enlightening conversation with Karla McLaren as she unpacks the intricate language of emotions and the vital role they play in our daily lives. Ever wondered why certain emotions feel so overpowering or why we struggle to articulate what we're feeling? Karla breaks down the complexities of emotional intelligence and empathy, offering practical tools to expand your emotional vocabulary and improve your communication skills. We explore how emotions are not the enemies of rationality but essential allies in decision-making and relationship-building. Discover how to manage challenging emotions like anger and jealousy, set healthy boundaries, and develop a deeper connection with yourself and others.
What to Listen For
Introduction – 00:00:00
Why do we often feel strong negative emotions even in our most loving relationships?
How does vulnerability play a crucial role in the intensity of emotions experienced in close relationships?
Introduction to Karla McLaren and her journey into exploring the language of emotions and empathy.
Understanding Emotions – 00:02:46
What are emotions, and why are they essential to our rationality and decision-making?
Why is it unhelpful to label emotions as simply ‘good’ or ‘bad’?
How does expanding your emotional vocabulary improve your self-awareness and emotional regulation?
Building an Emotional Vocabulary – 00:05:28
What are the benefits of having a broader emotional vocabulary?
How can identifying the intensity of emotions help you manage them more effectively?
Practical steps to enhance your emotional vocabulary and how it can lead to better communication.
Anger and Boundaries – 00:16:01
What is the true purpose of anger, and how does it relate to setting boundaries?
Common misconceptions about anger and how they can lead to unhealthy expressions or repression.
Strategies for managing anger constructively to maintain and reinforce personal boundaries.
Resist Emotional Manipulation – 00:27:20
What easy questions can you ask yourself to figure out if/how someone is trying to convince you to do something or think a certain way?
The Role of Jealousy – 00:32:36
What triggers jealousy, and why is it considered a crucial social emotion?
How to differentiate between healthy jealousy that sets boundaries and unhealthy reactions driven by insecurity.
Tips on addressing jealousy in relationships through clear communication and understanding personal needs.
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In today's episode, we dive into the psychology of influence and brand growth with Leslie Zane, a pioneer in the field of behavioral science and marketing. As the founder and CEO of Triggers Brand Consulting, Leslie has been at the forefront of helping top brands like Coca-Cola, McDonald’s, and Nike accelerate their growth by understanding the subconscious drivers of consumer behavior. With a background that spans behavioral science, marketing, and brand strategy, she is also the author of “The Power of Instinct: The New Rules of Persuasion in Business and Life”, where she reveals how tapping into the instinctive mind can lead to unparalleled success in business and personal branding.
Join us for an eye-opening conversation with Leslie Zane as she reveals the power of the instinctive mind in shaping our decisions and brand preferences. Have you ever wondered why some brands stand out effortlessly while others struggle to make an impact? Leslie uncovers the subconscious drivers that influence our choices and explains how businesses—and individuals—can leverage these insights to gain a competitive edge. Leslie also shares practical tips for crafting a compelling personal brand that resonates on a deeper level. Discover how to tap into the instinctive mind to enhance your influence, master persuasion, and set yourself apart in both your professional and personal life.
What to Listen For
Introduction – 00:00:00
What drove Leslie Zane to pioneer the field of brand connectomes and behavioral science in marketing?
How did Leslie’s early career experiences shape her understanding of consumer behavior and influence her approach to brand consulting?
What are the key principles behind Leslie’s book, The Power of Instinct, and how can they be applied to both personal and business growth?
The Instinctive Mind and Brand Connectome – 00:01:55
What is the instinctive mind, and why does it play a more significant role in decision-making than the conscious mind?
How does the brand connectome influence consumer choices, and why is it crucial for brands to expand their connectome in consumers' minds?
Why do brands need to stand for multiple associations rather than a single attribute to be successful?
Building a Personal Brand with Subconscious Triggers – 00:07:22
How can individuals apply the principles of the brand connectome to develop a strong personal brand?
What are growth triggers, and how can they be used to build positive associations quickly and effectively?
Why is it important to create a holistic personal brand that connects with various aspects of people’s subconscious?
Overcoming Legacy Brand Challenges – 00:11:49
Why do legacy brands have an inherent advantage, and how can new brands compete effectively?
What are some examples of small brands overtaking legacy brands by using strategic triggers and targeted messaging?
How can legacy brands continuously evolve their connectome to stay relevant and combat negative associations?
Actionable Advice for Personal and Professional Growth – 00:21:55
How can listeners apply Leslie’s insights on brand connectomes and subconscious triggers to accelerate their careers and personal growth?
What are the critical steps in building a personal brand that resonates with employers, clients, and networks?
Why is it essential to control your narrative and make strategic connections between your brand and your target audience?
Navigating Negative Associations and Competitive Strategies – 00:29:21
Why are negative associations so powerful, and how can they become significant barriers to brand growth?
How can brands effectively address and replace negative associations with positive triggers?
What competitive strategies can brands use to leverage the relativity principle and contrast against competitors?
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In today's episode, we discuss the hidden forces that shape human behavior and global challenges with Kristian Rönn, a leading thinker in sustainability and evolutionary psychology. As the CEO and cofounder of Normative, Kristian revolutionized how businesses approach sustainability accounting, helping large enterprises achieve their net zero targets. With a rich background in mathematics, philosophy, computer science, and artificial intelligence, he is also the author of "The Darwinian Trap: The Hidden Evolutionary Forces That Explain Our World (and Threaten Our Future)", where he unpacks the evolutionary pitfalls that hinder long-term success and offers insights into how cooperation and high-value behaviors can lead to better decision-making and a brighter future for all.
Join us for a thought-provoking conversation with Kristian Rönn as he uncovers the evolutionary forces that silently shape our world and the challenges we face in both personal and global contexts. How do these hidden forces drive human conflict and short-term thinking? What can we do to avoid the Darwinian traps that hinder long-term success? Kristian shares his deep insights into the psychological underpinnings of our behavior, the impact of competitive pressures on society, and the importance of fostering cooperation to create a better future. Discover actionable strategies to navigate these evolutionary pitfalls, enhance your decision-making, and become a more high-value, cooperative leader in your career and beyond.
What to Listen For
Introduction – 00:00:00
What sparked Kristian Rönn’s passion for understanding the evolutionary forces behind human behavior and global challenges?
How did Kristian’s journey from Oxford’s Future of Humanity Institute to founding Normative shape his perspective on sustainability and global risks?
What is the central thesis of Kristian’s book, The Darwinian Trap, and why is it crucial for our future?
The Darwinian Trap: Evolutionary Forces in Action – 00:06:13
What is the Darwinian Trap, and how does it explain the short-term thinking and conflicts we see in society?
How do evolutionary pressures influence everything from nation-state conflicts to personal career competition?
What are the "Darwinian demons" we must be aware of, and how can they impact decision-making on both a personal and global level?
The Hidden Costs of Short-Term Thinking – 00:24:26
How can short-term evolutionary strategies be both beneficial and harmful in different contexts?
What are some real-world examples of how short-term thinking has led to long-term problems, and how can we avoid these pitfalls?
Why is it easier to destroy than to build, and how does this concept relate to the challenges we face today?
Navigating the Complexities of Modern Society – 00:36:20
How has globalization and the interdependence of nations both helped and hindered global cooperation?
Why is decentralized power important in creating a more equitable and cooperative future?
Building a Better Future: Cooperation and Governance – 00:45:27
How can we overcome the cooperation failures that drive global conflicts and environmental degradation?
What role can reputational markets and decentralized governance play in solving these complex problems?
What are the potential dangers of technological advancements, particularly in AI, and how can we manage these risks responsibly?
What actionable steps can individuals take to contribute to a more collaborative and sustainable world?
Concluding Thoughts and Optimism for the Future – 00:56:23
Despite the challenges, what gives Kristian optimism about the future of humanity and our ability to overcome the Darwinian Trap?
How can meditation and introspection help individuals maintain a positive outlook in the face of global challenges?
Where can listeners learn more about The Darwinian Trap and Kristian Rönn’s work on sustainability and global risks?
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In today's episode, we explore the crucial mindset shift from doing the work to winning the work with Mo Bunnell, a renowned business growth expert and founder of the Bunnell Idea Group. With decades of experience helping organizations scale and thrive, Mo has dedicated his career to teaching professionals how to elevate their approach to relationship-building and business development. As the author of "The Snowball System: How to Win More Business and Turn Clients into Raving Fans" and host of the "Real Relationships, Real Revenue" podcast, Mo brings a wealth of knowledge on how small, consistent actions can lead to exponential growth in your career and business.
Join us for an engaging conversation with Mo Bunnell, where he reveals the secrets to shifting from simply doing the work to winning the work in your career. How can you overcome the internal obstacles that hold you back from building meaningful relationships and growing your business? What are the small, consistent habits that can lead to exponential success over time? Mo shares his expert strategies on developing a winning mindset, the art of giving to grow, and the critical shifts in communication that can help you move from being a good performer to a top performer. Discover actionable insights to elevate your career, deepen your professional relationships, and unlock new opportunities in both your business and personal life.
What to Listen For
Introduction – 00:00:00
What inspired Mo Bunnell to focus on the mindset shift from doing the work to winning the work?
How has Mo’s extensive experience in business growth shaped his approach to relationship building and business development?
What key principles from "Give to Grow" can help you elevate your career and business relationships?
The Mindset Shift: Doing the Work vs. Winning the Work – 00:02:16
What is the crucial difference between doing the work and winning the work, and why is it essential for career growth?
How can you start thinking 10x, not 1x, to overcome internal fears and embrace opportunities?
What are the key habits that successful professionals use to transition from a delivery-focused mindset to a growth-oriented one?
Overcoming the Lies That Hold You Back – 00:13:47
What are the five common lies we tell ourselves that hinder our success in relationship building?
How can you identify and counteract these lies to maintain momentum in your career?
Why is it important to act through discomfort and rejection to achieve long-term success?
Integrating Relationship Development with Daily Work – 00:19:47
How can you seamlessly integrate relationship building into your daily tasks without feeling overwhelmed?
What are practical examples of small, consistent actions that can lead to significant career growth?
How can face-to-face interactions dramatically increase your chances of success in building relationships?
The Power of Giving to Grow – 00:31:39
What does it mean to “give to grow,” and how can this mindset transform your professional relationships?
How can you provide value even when you feel you have nothing to give?
What are the four types of gifts you can offer to deepen relationships and create opportunities?
Strategic Giving and Setting Boundaries – 00:43:38
How can you be a strategic giver without getting taken advantage of?
What are the boundaries you need to set to ensure that your giving leads to mutual growth?
How can asking for small commitments from others help you identify who’s worth investing in?
Building Habits for Long-Term Success – 00:51:47
How can you create routines and habits that naturally lead to winning the work?
What is the importance of maintaining a list of key opportunities and relationships, and how can this practice drive your success?
How can focusing on three most important things (MITs) each week create unstoppable momentum in your career?
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In today's episode, we dive into the art of productive discourse, the challenges posed by modern technology, and the 10 essential habits of a peacemaker with Steven T. Collis, a distinguished law professor and expert in First Amendment rights. As a scholar dedicated to understanding and navigating the complexities of free speech and religious liberty, Steven has spent years engaging in some of the most contentious topics of our time. His insightful perspectives have been shared across North America, where he educates audiences on the sophisticated tactics used by social media companies to keep us addicted and the importance of intellectual humility in today's polarized world. In this episode, we explore key insights from his upcoming book, "Habits of a Peacemaker," available this September.
Join us for an insightful conversation with Steven T. Collis, where he discusses the challenges of modern communication and the critical role of peacemaking in today's polarized society. How can we break free from the habits that social media companies have engineered to keep us addicted and instead foster more productive and meaningful discourse? What are the essential habits that can help us navigate difficult conversations and bridge divides? Steven shares his expert insights on cultivating intellectual humility, the power of real learning, and the surprising ways humor can be a tool for connection. Discover practical strategies to become a more effective peacemaker, enhance your relationships, and contribute to a more respectful and understanding world both online and offline.
What to Listen For
Introduction – 00:00:00
What inspired Steven T. Collis to write "Habits of a Peacemaker" and why is peacemaking more important than ever?
How does Steven’s background in First Amendment law influence his approach to productive discourse?
What challenges do modern technologies, especially social media, pose to our ability to engage in meaningful conversations?
The Art of Productive Discourse – 00:03:00
What habits can help you engage in more productive and respectful conversations?
How can you overcome the addictive nature of social media to focus on real learning and intellectual humility?
Why is it important to seek out differing viewpoints, and how can this practice improve your understanding of complex issues?
Social Media's Impact on Communication – 00:10:45
How do social media platforms use psychological techniques from the gambling industry to keep users engaged?
What are the dangers of echo chambers and how can they hinder productive discourse?
What strategies can you use to protect yourself from the negative effects of social media on your communication habits?
Developing Intellectual Humility – 00:16:14
What does it mean to have intellectual humility, and why is it crucial for productive dialogue?
How can you reframe conversations to focus on learning rather than debating?
Why is it important to recognize the limits of your knowledge, especially when discussing complex topics?
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