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This episode starts off a little differently than others — with a short quiz, something called the Brief Sensation-Seeking Scale, which will tell you whether you're what psychologists call a high sensation-seeker or a low sensation-seeker. Read the following eight statements, and then pick a number from 1 to 5 that corresponds to your level of agreement, where 1 is "Not at all like me," 2 is "Not like me," 3 is "Unsure or both like and not like me," 4 is "Like me," and 5 is "Very much like me."
I would like to explore strange places.I would like to take off on a trip with no pre-planned routes or timetables.I get restless when I spend too much time alone.I prefer friends who are excitingly unpredictable.I like wild parties.I would love to have new and exciting experiences, even if they are illegal.I would like to try bungee jumping.I would like to do frightening things.Now add up all the numbers together. If you scored between 8 and 16, you are a low sensation-seeker. If you scored between 16 and 28, you're about average for sensation-seeking. If you scored over 28, you're a high sensation-seeker.
Today on the show, I unpack what these categories of personality mean with Dr. Kenneth Carter, a clinical psychologist, a professor, and the author of Buzz!: Inside the Minds of Thrill-Seekers, Daredevils, and Adrenaline Junkies. Ken explains how sensation-seeking exists on a spectrum between chill seekers, who like safety and calm routine, and thrill seekers, who enjoy chaos, risk, and novelty. He shares how there are actually four components to high sensation-seeking, and which two tend to get people in trouble. And we talk about whether being high or low sensation-seeking is a matter of nature or nurture, how high sensation-seekers fare in romantic relationships and what they should consider in choosing a career, and what the world's chill seekers can learn from its thrill seekers.
Resources Related to the Podcast40-Question Sensation-Seeking Scale TestConnect with Ken CarterKen's websiteKen on IGKen on XKen's faculty page -
“Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love,” Charlie Brown once said. Indeed, being spurned by one's crush, or, for that matter, by a friend or potential employer, not only ruins the taste of one's favorite sandwich spread, but causes great psychological distress and even physical pain.
Here to walk us through one of life's worst feelings is Mark Leary, a professor of psychology and neuroscience at Duke University, and the editor of Interpersonal Rejection. Today on the show, Mark unpacks the experience of social rejection, including why we're so sensitive to it and the emotions and behaviors it causes, which can be positive and prosocial or maladaptive and even violent. We discuss the role that is played by the sociometer, a concept Mark originated, in monitoring our social acceptance and rejection and what influences its sensitivity to fluctuations in your relational value. And Mark offers advice on how to remove some of the sting of rejection and civilly reject others.
Resources Related to the PodcastMark's previous appearance on the AoM podcast: Episode #725 — The Curse of the SelfSimpsons' episode where Lisa breaks Ralph's heartAoM Article: Honor in the American SouthConnect With Mark LearyMark's faculty page -
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Note: This is a rebroadcast.
Nietzsche's maxim, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger," isn't just a sound philosophical principle. It's also a certifiable physiological phenomenon; toxins and stressors that could be deadly in large doses, actually improve health and resilience in smaller, intermittent ones. The ironic thing, my guest points out, is that it's the fact that we're not getting enough of this sublethal stress these days that's really doing us in.
Paul Taylor is a former British Royal Navy Aircrew Officer, an exercise physiologist, nutritionist, and neuroscientist, and the author of Death by Comfort: How Modern Life is Killing Us and What We Can Do About It. Today on the show, Paul discusses the science of hormesis, how small doses of intermittent stress can make us more resistant to chronic stress, and why you need to embrace what Paul calls "discomfort harvesting." We talk about some now-familiar topics like fasting and cold and heat exposure with fresh inspiration as to how important they are to practice and how to do them effectively. We discuss how hot a sauna needs to be to get the benefits of heat exposure, Paul's suggestion for how to make an ice bath on the cheap, what may be the single best type of food to eat to improve your gut's microbiome, a form of fasting that's got anti-cancer benefits but is so accessible it won't even feel like fasting, what supplement to take to mitigate the effects of a bad night's sleep, and much more. We end our conversation with how to use what Paul calls a "ritual board" to stick with your healthy habits and resist the "soft underbelly" of modern life.
Resources Related to the PodcastAoMPodcast #708: Overcome the Comfort CrisisAoM article/video on the benefits of cold showersAoM Podcast #801: The Cold Water Swim CureAoM Podcast #603: The Physical Keys to Human ResilienceAoM Article: How Saunas Can Help Save Your Body, Mind, and SpiritAoM Article: How to Sauna — All the FAQsAoM Podcast #585: Inflammation, Saunas, and the New Science of DepressionAoM Podcast #862: Heal the Body With Extended FastingAoM Podcast #328: The Pros and Cons of Intermittent FastingAoM Podcast #581: The Tiny Habits That Change EverythingAoM Podcast #425: Action Over FeelingsThe NOVA Food Classification SystemStanford study on the effect of fiber and fermented food on the microbiomeResearch on creatine as a neurotransmitter and creatine's effect on brain health (including impact when sleep deprived)Connect With PaulTaylorPaul's websitePaul on IGPaul on LinkedInPaul's podcastPaul's mental fitness course for coaches and health professionals -
In creating the Jack Reacher character, Lee Child launched a series of books that now boast 100 million copies in print and have been turned into movies and a popular Amazon streaming series.
Today on the show, I talk to Lee about what makes Reacher so compelling and much more. We first discuss how Lee didn't get started with writing until he was almost forty, and what prompted him to change careers. We then unpack the Reacher character, discussing the ancient, archetypal roots of this vigilante, drifter detective, what he has in common with the knight errant, and the enduring appeal of the lone wolf. We also talk about Lee's writing process, why midlife is the best time to write, and why, after writing more than two dozen Reacher novels, he's chosen to hand off the series to his brother and fellow writer, Andrew.
Resources Related to the PodcastThe latest Reacher novel: In Too DeepThe Reacher streaming series Jack Reacher website -
Money can't buy happiness. It sounds good as a bumper sticker platitude.
But the truth is, money can buy happiness. At least sometimes. In certain circumstances. If we view it and use it in the right ways.
Here to unpack the conditions under which money can buy happiness and facilitate our flourishing is Dr. Daniel Crosby, a psychologist and behavioral finance expert and the author of The Soul of Wealth: 50 Reflections on Money and Meaning. Today on the show, Daniel shares the minimum income level at which money buys happiness, at least in the sense of avoiding pain. We talk about how to purchase material things in a way that increases happiness, while avoiding materialism, and the value of using your money to buy health and freedom. And we discuss the importance of finding an overarching why that guides the way you allocate your money and doing a values audit to see if your purpose and spending habits are aligned.
Resources Related to the PodcastDaniel's previous appearances on the AoM podcast:Episode #222: The Laws of WealthEpisode #511: Mastering the Psychology of InvestingAoM Podcast #659: Do You Want to Be Rich or Wealthy? (And Why the Difference Matters)AoM Podcast #321: How to Think About Money"Experiences Won’t Make You Happier Than Possessions"Die with Zero by Bill PerkinsConnect With Daniel CrosbyDaniel on XDaniel's podcast, Standard DeviationsDaniel on LinkedIn -
Are leaders born or made? Judging by the 50 billion dollar leadership development industry, the answer is definitely the latter. From schools to workplaces, everyone is seen as a potential leader and expected to become one by undergoing leadership training.
My guest questions the assumptions underlying this phenomenon, which he calls "the leadership industrial complex," and says that the cult of leadership, and its idea that everyone can and should become a leader, can create burnout and unhappiness.
Elias Aboujaoude is a Stanford professor of psychiatry and the author of A Leader's Destiny: Why Psychology, Personality, and Character Make All the Difference. Today on the show, Elias describes the state of the leadership industrial complex, the mathematical impossibility it forwards that everyone can be a leader and no one is a follower, and the primary presumption it makes that leadership can be taught. Elias argues that, in fact, a lot of what makes for good leadership is innate and potentially unchangeable. We discuss the implications of this fact, and why it's actually okay not to want to be a leader.
Resources Related to the PodcastAoM Podcast #838: Can Virtue Be Taught?AoM Article: Don’t Just Lead Well, Follow WellAoM Article: Are You a Strategist or an Operator? Connect With Elias AboujaoudeElias' websiteElias' Stanford profile page -
When people think about living more fully and making better use of their time, they typically think of finding some new organizational system they can structure their lives with.
Oliver Burkeman says that what you really need instead are perspective shifts — small, sustainable changes in how you view and approach your day-to-day life. He provides those mindset shifts in his new book, Meditations for Mortals: Four Weeks to Embrace Your Limitations and Make Time for What Counts. And we talk about some of them today on the show, including why you should view life's tasks and problems like a river instead of a bucket, stop feeling guilt over your "productivity debt," make peace with your decisions by embracing an unconventional reading of the poem "The Road Not Taken," aim to do your habits "dailyish," be more welcoming of interruptions, and practice "scruffy hospitality."
Resources Related to the PodcastOliver's previous appearance on the AoM podcast: Episode #748 — Time Management for MortalsAoM Article: Autofocus — The Productivity System That Treats Your To-Do List Like a RiverAoM Podcast #956: Feeling Depressed and Discombobulated? Social Acceleration May Be to BlameSunday Firesides: To-Dos, the Rent We Pay For LivingAoM Podcast #962: The Case for Minding Your Own BusinessAoM Podcast #821: Routines Are OverratedAoM Article: Routines Not Working For You? Try a Daily ChecklistSunday Firesides: Life Is for LivingResonance: A Sociology of Our Relationship to the World by Hartmut Rosa"The Road Not Taken" by Robert FrostThe Road Not Taken: Finding America in the Poem Everyone Loves and Almost Everyone Gets Wrong by David Orr"The Road Less Traveled" — great, short podcast on the alternate interpretation of Frost's poemConnect With Oliver BurkemanOliver's website -
We often think of the difference between a boy and a man as a matter of age. But Brian Tome says that there can be 15-year-old men and 45-year-old boys, and that the real difference maker in being grown up isn't a matter of the number of years you accumulate but the qualities, behaviors, and mindset you possess.
Brian is a pastor and the author of The Five Marks of a Man. Today on the show, Brian unpacks what he thinks are the marks of mature manhood. We talk about the need to have a vision and how life-giving hobbies can create that vision. Brian argues that manhood requires staking out a minority position, being part of a pack, and creating more than you consume. And we discuss the ways men can still be protectors in the 21st century.
Resources Related to the PodcastAoM Podcast #78: The Myth of Following Your PassionAoM Article: The Ultimate List of Hobbies for Men — 75+ Ideas For Your Free TimeAoM series on the 3 P's of Manhood: Protect, Procreate, Provide AoM Podcast #926: The 5 Shifts of ManhoodAoM Podcast #810: How to Turn a Boy Into a ManAoM Article: Why Are Female Friendships the Ideal? (‘Cause Dude Friendships Also Rock)AoM Article: Modern Maturity — Create More, Consume LessBrian's Man CampConnect With Brian TomeBrian's website -
Imagination is the ability to form mental images and concepts that don't exist or haven’t happened yet, think outside of current realities, and form connections between existing ideas to create something new and original.
If the number of movie sequels and the outsized popularity of music made decades ago is any measure, our current age is suffering from a deficit in imagination. And indeed, tests show that creativity, which takes the possibilities generated in the mind and produces something with them, has been in decline for many years now — a phenomenon that has repercussions for our personal edification, professional advancement, and societal flowering.
But if our imagination has indeed atrophied, the good news is that it can be strengthened. So argues my guest, Albert Read, the former managing director of Condé Nast Britain and the author of The Imagination Muscle: Where Good Ideas Come From (And How to Have More of Them). Today on the show, Albert shares his ideas on how our imagination can be built back up. We discuss how to get better at observation and how to use a commonplace book and the way you structure your reading to cross-pollinate your thinking and generate more fruitful ideas. We also discuss how to overcome the unthinking habit, resist stagnation as you age, and embrace imaginative risk.
Resources Related to the PodcastAoM Podcast #432: How to Achieve Creative SuccessAoM Podcast #683: How to Think Like a Renaissance ManAoM Podcast #357: How to Be a Creative Genius Like da VinciAoM Podcast #874: Throw a 2-Hour Cocktail Party That Can Change Your LifeConnect With Albert ReadAlbert's website -
In an age that doesn't think too much about history, you might be forgiven for thinking that a culture of exercise only emerged in the 20th century. But the idea of purposefully exercising to change one's body — what folks used to call "physical culture" — likely goes back to the very beginnings of time.
Here to unpack the origins, evolution, and future of fitness is Dr. Conor Heffernan, a Lecturer in the Sociology of Sport at Ulster University and the author of The History of Physical Culture. Today on the show, Conor takes us on a fascinating and wide-ranging tour of physical culture, from the ancient Egyptians, who made their pharaohs run around a pyramid to test their fitness to rule, to the ancient Greeks who used their gymnasiums for both bodily training and intellectual philosophizing, to modern strongmen who became proto fitness influencers, and many periods and societies in between. We discuss how training practices changed over time, where they may be going next, and the evergreen principles from past eras that we could still learn from today.
Resources Related to the PodcastAoM Podcast #988: Of Strength and Soul — Exploring the Philosophy of Physical FitnessAoM Podcast #939: What Lifting Ancient Stones Can Teach You About Being a ManRogue documentaries on stone lifting in Scotland, Iceland, and SpainAoM Podcast #39: Eugen Sandow, Victorian StrongmanAoM Podcast #624: The Crazy, Forgotten Story of America’s First Fitness Influencer, Bernarr MacFaddenAoM Article: An Introduction to Indian Club TrainingAoM Video: Intro to Indian Club TrainingDe Arte GymnasticaJohann GutsMuthsFriedrich Ludwig JahnTurnvereine gymnastic system The Strongman Project Connect With Conor HeffernanPhysical Culture Study websiteConor's faculty page -
Do you have trouble feeling comfortable when socializing? Maybe sometimes you do fine, but other times you feel nervous, shy, and awkward. Or maybe socializing always feels like a struggle. Either way, you know how frustrating and even debilitating social anxiety can be. It cannot only lead to avoiding potentially enriching experiences and a failure to make desired connections, it can sometimes be hard to understand.
So what's going on when you socially misfire?
Here to unpack that question is Thomas Smithyman, who is a clinical psychologist and the author of Dating Without Fear: Overcome Social Anxiety and Connect. Today on the show, we get into the dynamics of social anxiety in both romantic and platonic contexts. Thomas explains what defines social anxiety, how it exists on a spectrum from mild shyness to an outright disorder, and what causes it, from genetics to faulty thinking. We talk about the protection strategies people often use to avoid the pain of social judgement, and why they actually backfire. We then get into what you can do to be more socially comfortable and confident, including a key to effective flirting, why you should try to make a "mediocre first impression," and how to find your way into what Thomas calls the "warm social world."
Resources Related to the PodcastAoM series on overcoming shyness AoM Article: Introversion as an ExcuseAoM Article: How to Overcome Phone ShynessSunday Firesides: Want to Solve Your Social Problems? Get Over Your SelfConnect With Thomas SmithymanThomas' websiteThomas' YouTube channel -
With over 300 million books sold, Louis L'Amour is one of the bestselling authors of all time. All 120 of his books remain in print. But the greatest story L'Amour ever penned was his own. He spent the early part of his life traveling in a circus, working as a lumberjack and miner, circling the world as a seaman, winning over 50 fights as a professional boxer, and serving in WWII.
Today on the show, I talk about both the personal and professional aspects of Louis' life with his son, Beau L'Amour. We discuss some of Louis' adventures and the autodidactic education he gave himself by way of a voracious reading habit. We then turn to how Louis got started as a writer and how he cut his teeth writing for pulp magazines before breaking through as a Western novelist and becoming a blockbuster success in his sixties.
Resources Related to the PodcastLouis L'Amour works mentioned in the show:Education of a Wandering Man: A MemoirHondoYonderingNo Traveller ReturnsThe Walking DrumLast of the BreedLouis L'Amour's Lost Treasures, Volume 1 and Volume 2"Holding Her Down" by Jack LondonAoM Article: How and Why to Become a Lifelong LearnerAoM Article: The Libraries of Famous Men — Louis L’AmourConnect With Beau L'AmourThe Louis L'Amour websiteBeau's website -
What if there was a supplement that could build muscle, maintain bone health, fortify the brain against cognitive decline due to age and stress, and alleviate depression, has been proven safe, and comes with almost no side effects? Well, there is such a supplement, it's been around a long time, and it isn't even expensive. It's creatine.
Here to unpack the myths, benefits, and recommended ways to use creatine is Darren Candow, a professor of exercise physiology and nutrition who supervises the Aging Muscle and Bone Health Laboratory at the University of Regina. Darren specializes in studying creatine and has published over 70 papers on the subject. Today on the show, Darren explains how a supplement often associated with bodybuilders may actually be beneficial for just about everyone — athletes and non-athletes and the young and old alike. He unpacks what creatine does in the body, and how its benefits extend beyond the body and into the brain. He offers recommendations on the formulation of creatine to use, a suggested dosage and whether it should increase with age, and how to avoid the bloating effect. He also shares what we know about creatine's safety, including its effects on the kidneys, and whether it can cause hair loss.
Resources Related to the PodcastAoM Article: Creatine — A Primer on Its Benefits and UseAoM Article: A Primer On Muscle-Building Supplements — Which Work and Which Don’t?AoM Podcast #878: The Fitness Supplements That Actually WorkAoM Podcast #585: Inflammation, Saunas, and the New Science of DepressionAoM Podcast #852: The Brain Energy Theory of Mental IllnessDarren's studiesConnect With Darren CandowDarren's faculty pageDarren on IG -
Self-control, the ability to resolve a conflict between two competing desires, is frequently touted as the golden key to success. But many of the most popular ideas about self-control are actually at odds with how it really operates.
Here to unpack some of the lesser-understood and counterintuitive ideas around discipline and willpower is Michael Inzlicht, a professor of psychology who has studied the nature of self-regulation in depth. In the first part of our conversation, Michael unpacks the popular ego depletion model of willpower and how it hasn't held up to scientific scrutiny. We then turn to the surprising fact that the people who seem to exhibit a lot of self-control don't actually exercise a lot of discipline and restraint in their lives, that the achievement of goals is more a function of having virtuous desires, and what contributes to having those desires.
Resources Related to the PodcastRelated studies:Perceived Mental Fatigue and Self-ControlA Multilab Preregistered Replication of the Ego-Depletion EffectEveryday Temptations: An Experience Sampling Study of Desire, Conflict, and Self-ControlNew Zealand Study on Trait Self-ControlThe Moralization of EffortThe Mundanity of ExcellenceThe Identity Model of Self-RegulationThe Effort Paradox: Effort Is Both Costly and ValuedAoM Podcast #961: The Mundanity of ExcellenceAoM Article: Motivation Over DisciplineAoM Article: ¿Tienes Ganas?Sunday Firesides: What Looks Like Grit, Is Often FitAoM Article: What Do You Want to Want?Connect With Michael InzlichtMichael's websiteMichael's faculty pageMichael on X -
For decades, some researchers have argued that the notable human capacity for endurance evolved from the hunting practices of our ancestors, which produced physiological adaptations that make us uniquely well suited for running.
But this theory has always had its detractors.
As my guest explains, a new study addresses these long-standing criticisms and adds evidence that, indeed, we were all born to run.
Alex Hutchinson is a journalist who covers the science of endurance and fitness, and today on the show, he explains what those criticisms were and how this new research counters them. We talk about the role running held amongst peoples of the past, how running is not only primal but cultural and even spiritual, and why we continue to run today, even though we’re not hunting for food. And we discuss how, even if we are born to run, that doesn’t mean everyone will always enjoy running all of the time, and how to get into running if you’re someone who doesn’t feel an innate desire for it.
Resources Related to the PodcastAlex’s previous appearances on the AoM podcast:Episode #382: How to Lift More, Run Faster, and Endure LongerEpisode #538: Research-Backed Answers to All Your Fitness FAQs“Why You (Yes, You) Were Born to Run” by Alex Hutchinson“Ethnography and Ethnohistory Support the Efficiency of Hunting Through Endurance Running in Humans”Indian Running: Native American History and Tradition by Peter NabokovThe Hunting Hypothesis by Robert Ardrey“The Energetic Paradox of Human Running and Hominid Evolution” — 1984 paper by David CarrierWhy We Run by Bernd HeinrichAoM Podcast #691: What You Can (Really) Learn About Exercise from Your Human Ancestors With Daniel LiebermanBorn to Run by Christopher McDougall“Reexamining the Mythology of the Tarahumara Runners” by Alex HutchinsonTo the Limit: The Meaning of Endurance from Mexico to the Himalayas by Michael CrawleyConnect With Alex HutchinsonAlex’s websiteAlex at Outside
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In a family, a lot of the dynamics around devices and screens are reactive in nature. Kids bug for their own smartphones, parents worry they'll be left out without one, and without weighing the pros and cons, give in to their kids' requests. Parents let children have a ton of screen time because it lets the parents do what they want; then, they reach a moment where they feel disturbed about how much time their kids are on screens, berate their children for this habit, which they've facilitated, and vow that things are going to abruptly turn around.
Rather than basing your policies about kids and screens on mood, fear, and impulse, it would be better to do so based on reason and reflection. Emily Cherkin has some ideas on how to get there. Emily is a former teacher, a screentime consultant who helps parents and educators balance the role of devices in kids' lives, and the author of The Screentime Solution: A Judgment-Free Guide to Becoming a Tech-Intentional Family. Today on the show, Emily unpacks the state of screentime amongst kids today, how the "displacement hypothesis" explains how its impact extends beyond a decline in mental health, and why parents give their kids smartphones even when they're not sure it's good for them. We then turn to how families can become more tech intentional, and how that starts with parents taking a look at their own behavior. We discuss why putting parental controls on devices isn't the ultimate solution, why a better one is based on your relationship with your kids, why you need to live your digital life out loud, and some considerations to think through before getting your kid their first smartphone.
Resources Related to the PodcastAoM Podcast #300: How to Raise Free Range Kids With Lenore SkenazyAoM Article: What’s the Right Age to Get a Kid Their First Smartphone? 3 Tech Thinkers Weigh InAoM Article: The Best Internet Filter for KidsThe Anxious Generation by Jonathan HaidtThe Light PhoneConnect With Emily CherkinEmily's website -
Although they may call it different things and approach its attainment in different ways, many of the world’s religions and philosophies have a similar goal: achieving a life of virtue, peace, and flourishing.
In his new book, Seriously Happy, Ben Aldrige explains how anyone can use the wisdom of ancient traditions to improve themselves and live the Good life. Today on the show, Ben offers a thumbnail sketch of Buddhism, Cynicism, Taoism, Stoicism, Epicureanism, and Aristotelianism, along with practices and challenges inspired by these philosophies, including walking a banana, listening to a music performance without music, and taking a Wu Wei adventure, that you can use to put ancient wisdom into action and become a better and happier man.
Resources Related to the PodcastBen’s previous appearance on the AoM podcast: Episode #640 — Weird and Wonderful Ways to Get Comfortable Being UncomfortableAoM Podcast #148: Trying Not to TryWhy Buddhism is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment by Robert WrightJohn Cage’s 4’33”Albert Ellis’ Rational Emotive Behavior TherapyConnect With Ben AldridgeBen’s website -
Note: This is a rebroadcast.
Over the last year, my 12-year-old son has been doing one challenge every week as a rite of passage and chance to earn a special trip. Some of these challenges have involved reading a book in a week, and the most recent book we gave him to read was How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie. His review? He said it was the best book he's read so far.
So a book written almost 90 years ago can still be a favorite of a kid in the 21st century. Talk about some staying power.
The advice in How to Win Friends & Influence People, and Dale Carnegie's other classic, How to Stop Worrying and Start Living, is timeless. But to help introduce it to a new audience, my guest, Joe Hart, has recently co-authored the book Take Command, which synthesizes, updates, and adds to the principles of Carnegie's two perennial bestsellers. Joe is the President and CEO of Dale Carnegie & Associates, which continues Carnegie's work in the present day, and we begin our conversation with some background on the guy who kicked off this work back in 1936. We then talk about what principles we can take from How to Stop Worrying and Start Living on developing a positive mindset. From there, we talk about the big overarching principle of How to Win Friends & Influence People, and how you can use it to improve your relationships. We end our conversation with advice on how to live life with more intentionality and meaning.
Resources Related to the EpisodeHow to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale CarnegieHow to Stop Worrying and Start Living by Dale CarnegieThe Dale Carnegie Website, with links to the Take Command book page and the Dale Carnegie CourseAoM Article: The 8 Best Vintage Self-Improvement BooksAoM Podcast #818: The Philosophy of Self-ImprovementAoM Podcast #457: Leadership Lessons With Craig GroeschelAoM Podcast #527: The Journey to the Second Half of Life With Richard RohrAoM Podcast #518: The Second Mountain With David BrooksConnect With Joe HartJoe on TwitterJoe on LinkedIn -
As you get older, you can start to feel like you'll never achieve your dream or receive recognition for your contributions to a field, or that your best work is behind you.
Mo Rocca has compiled stories that demonstrate that you shouldn't give up hope, and that no matter your age, the best may yet be to come.
Mo is a humorist, journalist, and the co-author of Roctogenarians: Late in Life Debuts, Comebacks, and Triumphs. Today on the show, Mo shares the stories and lessons of entrepreneurs, artists, actors, and more who achieved greatness or adulation in their twilight years or had a new spurt of creativity when they thought the well had run dry, including KFC founder Colonel Sanders, the artist Matisse, a couple of guys who didn't receive their first war wounds until they were old enough to qualify for the senior citizen discount at Denny's, and even a virile 90-year-old tortoise.
Resources Related to the PodcastAoM Podcast #849: Live Life in CrescendoSamuel WhittemoreJohn L. BurnsFrank Lloyd Wright's FallingwaterFrank Lloyd Wright's Guggenheim MuseumHenri Matisse's The Swimming PoolDocumentary about Tyrus WongMr. Pickles the TortoiseConnect With Mo RoccaMo on X -
Your relationship with your mother is likely the first and most foundational connection in your life. At its best, this bond can be a source of comfort, strength, and love that lasts a lifetime and changes in healthy, appropriate, and adaptive ways as you mature into adulthood.
But sometimes, the attachment between a mother and her son can become unhealthy, resulting in a phenomenon called mother-son enmeshment, in which a man can become a kind of surrogate husband to his mom.
Here to unpack this complex issue is Dr. Kenneth Adams. Ken is a clinical psychologist who has spent much of his career working with what he calls "mother-enmeshed men" and is the author of When He's Married to Mom. Today on the show, Ken unpacks the characteristics of mother-enmeshed men and how to know if you are one, and he explains what can happen in childhood that would cause a mother to enmesh with her son. We discuss the problems enmeshment can create in men's relationships and other areas of life and how it can lead to things like compulsive porn use. And we unpack what it means for a man to become independent and emancipate from his mother, how it's different from cutting her off, and what it looks like to have a healthy relationship with your mom.
Connect with Ken AdamsOvercoming Enmeshment website - Vis mere
