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This week's episode features Dr. Jeanne Catanzaro, who's a bit of an IFS rockstar. Jeanne has been one of the strongest voices in the IFS community in regard to food and body concerns, and I'm so thrilled to have her on the podcast!
Just a little about her: Jeanne is a clinical psychologist who has specialized in the treatment of disordered eating and trauma for over twenty-five years. She trained in psychodynamic psychotherapy, Somatic ExperiencingÂź, and eye movement-desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) before discovering the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model. Jeanne is known for her compassionate and intuitive appreciation of the relational dynamics, internal and external, that keep people stuck in painful relationships with food and their bodies. In addition to serving as a leader of the IFS Institute, Jeanne facilitates IFS consultation groups, workshops, and retreats on Unburdened Eating.
Jeanne is also the author of Unburdened Eating, a wonderful book that just came out earlier this year. And she also wrote a really fantastic article for the IFS Institute (that we discuss in this episode) called IFS's Viewpoint on Dieting and Cultural Harm. This article explicitly states that the IFS Institute does not support intentional weight loss due to the harm it can cause.
Throughout this week's episode, Jeanne and I touch upon:
The differences between IFS and other therapy models in how they approach food and body concerns How diet culture perpetuates the belief that thereâs something wrong with your body The fact that all negative feelings about the body come from outside of us The importance of being curious toward our parts Having compassion toward all of our parts, including those who are trying to manage our bodies by focusing on food and weight What is âunburdened eatingâ The need for community when working on food and body concernsJeanne also gives us some great advice in terms of how to start working on food and body concerns. She suggests that we ask ourselves the following questions:
What would it be like if I wasnât always trying to fix my body? What would it be like if I wasnât always criticizing my body? What if my body wasnât a problem to be solved? Can I get curious about the parts of me that feel like my body needs to change?You might have already noticed parts surfacing just by reading those questions. When you can, take some time to really sit with and answer them.
We cover a lot of important ground in this episode, and I'm just thrilled and honored to have one of the best on my show. A huge thanks to Jeanne for taking the time and for all of the wisdom she imparts. Check it out!
Where to find Jeanne:
Website
Unburdened Eating
IFS's Viewpoint on Dieting and Cultural Harm
Other resources that were mentioned:
Center for Body Trust
The Body is Not an Apology
Journeys of Embodiment
Where to find me:
Website
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Well, it's fall here in New England, which means cooler weather, absolutely beautiful trees, and apple cider! (And for those of you who love it, pumpkin spice!) It also means lots and lots of raking is in my future!
And it also means sweater weather!!!! Yay!!! So many of my parts love sweater weather. Throwing on a big cable-knit sweater just feels so cozy. And I just love fall colors (especially forest green--I can't tell you how many forest green sweaters I have).
But do you know another reason why some of my parts love sweater weather? Because I can hide under sweaters. Especially ponchos--you can't really tell what my body looks like under a poncho. And some of my parts are really happy about that.
In my last podcast episode, Amy Pershing shared her incredible wisdom about Binge Eating Disorder. She also touched on the topic of body shame. And since healing body shame is, in my opinion, one of the most difficult aspects of this type of work, I thought we should continue the discussion.
In this week's podcast episode, we're exploring all aspects of body shame, starting with what it is (spoiler alert--it's not just negative body image). We move into a discussion about the difference between parts of us who carry shame about our body (generally exiles) and parts who shame our body as a way of trying to help us (protector parts). Finally, we end the episode on how to start healing body shame.
I wish I could wave a magic wand and make everyone's body shame disappear. At the very least, I wish I could promise you that this is a quick, easy process. Unfortunately though, I can't. But I absolutely do think it's possible to release a lot of this shame and feel much better about and comfortable within your body. And hopefully, this week's podcast episode will help! Take a listen!
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On today's episode, I'm so excited to be joined by Amy Pershing to talk about Binge Eating Disorder (BED). Amy is essentially THE expert on treating BED with IFS, and I'm so thankful that she's sharing her wisdom with us! We've been trying for months to record an episode, and we finally did it!
Just a little about her, Amy Pershing, LMSW, ACSW, CCTP-II, is the Founding Director of Bodywise, the first BED-specific treatment program in the United States, and President of the Board of the Center for Eating Disorders in Ann Arbor, Michigan. She is the founder of Pershing Consulting, which offers training to clinicians treating BED and trauma worldwide. Amy is also the co-founder of "Attune", an online coaching program for attuned eating and recovery support.
Amy is an internationally known leader in the development of treatment paradigms for BED, and one of the first clinicians to specialize in BED treatment. Based on 35 years of clinical experience, Amy has pioneered an approach to BED recovery that is strengths-based and trauma informed, incorporating Internal Family Systems (IFS) and body-based techniques to heal the deeper issues that drive binge behaviors. Her approach integrates a non-diet body autonomy philosophy, helping clients create lasting change with food and body image.
Amy is also the author of the book Binge Eating Disorder: The Journey to Recovery and Beyond (Taylor and Francis, 2018) and Emotional Eating, Chronic Dieting, Bingeing And Body Image: A Trauma-Informed Workbook, with co-authors Judith Matz and Christy Harrison (PESI Publishing, 2024). She also offers a variety of trainings on BED treatment through PESI. Amy maintains her clinical practice in Ann Arbor, Michigan.
Amy begins the podcast episode by discussing her own history with binge eating disorder and how, thanks to the relentless messages from diet culture, she believed that her body "needed to be fixed because it was fat."
Throughout the episode, we touch upon:
How IFS views Binge Eating Disorder The role of Binge Eating parts Shame as a coping mechanism How to build trust between Self and parts What Self-led eating looks like Developing trust in your bodyAmy also emphasizes the fact that Self cannot be damaged by trauma, and Self does not accept body shame narratives. She states, âThereâs never a time that youâre in-Self and accepting a body shame narrative. It just doesnât happen. Self knows that body shame doesnât exist.â
We ended the episode speaking directly to therapists, both those who work with food and body issues and those who don't. Amy noted that all therapists are working with clients who live in a body and we're therefore all working with body stigma to some degree. She further notes that all clinicians really need to think about how their parts feel about their own body, food, weight stigma, and health.
And finally, she states, "If you treat BED, youâre treating trauma. We have to understand the binge eating in the context of their history."
Amy gives us so many pearls of wisdom in this episode that you'll want to listen to it more than once (and take notes). Even if you aren't someone who binges, how she talks about body shame is applicable to everyone in a body. Take a listen!
Where to find Amy:
The Bodywise Program
Binge Eating Disorder: The Journey to Recovery and Beyond
Emotional Eating, Chronic Dieting, Bingeing And Body Image: A Trauma-Informed Workbook
Where to find me:
drkimdaniels.com
Instagram
TikTok
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If you're someone who's done your own IFS work, you were likely encouraged to check in with a part that you met during your session on your own regularly throughout the week. And you may have thought, how in the world do I do that? Hopefully, the therapist or coach you're working with helped you with that process. But if they didn't, you're in luck! It's the topic of this week's podcast!
While checking in with parts that you meet during session is incredibly important, so is checking in with parts in general. And one of the things that I've been focusing on more with clients these days is developing a regular parts check-in practice. In all of the IFS training that I've done, I've never really been taught how to do this, which is kind of strange, given its importance.
What do mean by a check-in process? I mean taking the time to deliberately check in with parts. This is different than noticing parts as they come up for you and/or blend with you throughout the day. While noticing parts in the moment is incredibly important, so is creating time and space to check in with your parts who may not be particularly active at that moment.
Creating and maintaining a check-in process is a vital aspect of connecting with parts, developing trust, and sustaining change. Which is why we're talking about this topic on this week's podcast episode. Specifically, we're covering:
How to create a regular check-in process What parts to focus on during your check-in Why a regular check-in process is so important What to do if you aren't consistent with the practiceI also share some resources, i.e. workbooks and journals, below.
If you've had a tough time creating a check-in process--or if you're just learning that this is important--take a listen!
Resources:
Journal Back to Self, Tara Hedman
Daily Parts Meditation Practice, Michelle Glass
The One Inside, Tammy Sollenberger
Where to find me:
drkimdaniels.com
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On this week's podcast episode we're talking about anxiety, one of the most common things that lead our parts to food. Very often, parts in our system use food to calm our anxious parts. I think this happens for a couple of reasons. First, food can be a great distraction when we're feeling anxious. And second, food actually calms us down. Research has shown that food (especially carbs) elevates serotonin levels, which can decrease depression and anxiety.
So if you're someone who tends to eat when you're anxious, there's a reason for that. It works.
And I think it's really important to understand anxiety so that it doesn't always lead us to food. So, on today's episode we talk about anxiety in a number of ways:
the heritability of anxiety the concept of anxiety as a legacy burden--and how to know if this is true for you why parts experience anxiety how and why parts use food to manage anxietyWe also get into what to do about all of this (spoiler alert: get to know your parts!). If you're someone who experiences anxiety (and I know I am), I hope this one's helpful for you!
Where to find me:
drkimdaniels.com
Instagram
TikTok
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What's the first thing that comes to your mind when I say the word acceptance? As in accepting who you are and accepting your body, right here, right now?
For many if not most people, the thought of acceptance brings up parts saying, "No! I won't give up!" Or, "I can't acceptance myself the way I am--I'm not good enough."
Yeah....acceptance is really hard....Which is why we're discussing it on this week's podcast.
First, let me just say that I think working toward acceptance needs to happen on multiple fronts, because there are numerous factors that contribute to the negative feelings so many of us have toward our bodies. How we feel about our bodies is shaped by how we personally experience them, how others treat them, the messages we get about them, how they function, how much they differ from others--the list goes on and on. I can't cover all of that on just one podcast--it would be 57 hours long.
So on this week's episode, we're just focusing on one factor that contributes to our negative body image and our difficulty accepting ourselves. And I think it's one of the main factors: the beauty industry. Thanks to the beauty industry, most of us have spent time, energy, and money focused on our appearance. And it's really impacted how we feel about ourselves and our bodies (and others' bodies) in an extremely negative way.
In this episode, I'm sharing a lot of research completed by Dr. Renee Engeln, a psychologist who focuses on what she calls the "Beauty Game." She wrote a fantastic book called "Beauty Sick: How the Cultural Obsession with Appearance Hurts Girls and Women" that's chock full of information on this topic. She's also done a couple of TED Talks on the subject, and she contributes regular articles to Psychology Today.
Just to give you a little idea of what we're up against, here are some research findings on the topic:
34% of five-year-old girls engage in deliberate dietary restraint at least sometimes (yes, you read that right--five-year-old girls) Between the ages of five and nine, 40% of girls say they wish they were thinner Almost one-third of third-grade girls report they are âalwaysâ afraid of becoming fat By age 13, girls report significantly more body shame than boys In the United States 69-84% of women experience body dissatisfaction, desiring to be a lower weight than they currently areUnfortunately, all of that isn't even the half of it. The bad news goes on and on and on and on. The beauty industry (and the diet industry) have wreaked so much havoc on women in particular that it's no wonder we have such a hard time feeling good about ourselves.
Here's a quote by Dr. Engeln that speaks to some of this:
"The more easily identifiable you are as a woman, the more you will be objectified. The more you are objectified, the more your body will begin to feel like a performance piece instead of the home in which you live."
Our bodies should feel like our homes. We should want to care for and nourish them well. But thanks to the pressures we experience about our appearance, we often don't.
My hope in focusing on this topic is that parts of you will really start realizing that any negative thoughts and feelings you have about your body and your appearance are not authentic to you. They're internalized messages from our appearance-obsessed culture. They're learned. Which means they can be unlearned.
So, on this week's podcast we're looking at lots of research, and we're also talking about:
What acceptance actually IS (it's NOT just giving up) What the "Beauty Game" is (defined by Dr. Engeln as a collection of cultural pressures that make women feel like all that matters is how they look) The impact of the media on our self-image The link between beauty and powerI also give you ten ways to start working toward exiting the Beauty Game and working toward acceptance.
I'm not gonna lie--I personally think this is an important episode, because so many of our parts think that the negativity we feel toward ourselves is justified and valid. IT'S NOT. It's been cultivated by an industry that makes tons of money off of our insecurity. I think it's incredibly important for your parts to have the correct information on this, so I hope you'll take a listen! Check it out!
Beauty Sick: How the Cultural Obsession with Thinness Hurts Girls and Women
Dr. Engelnâs Psychology Today articles
The Beauty Game TED Talk
An Epidemic of Beauty Sickness TED Talk
Where to Find Me:
drkimdaniels.com
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On this weeks' podcast episode, we're talking about restriction. This is a topic that I know I've mentioned a number of times on the show, but I've never talked about it in depth. And given how common it is, it's about time that I do.
What comes to mind when you think about the word "restriction" (as it relates to food)? For me, I tend to think about the diagnosis of anorexia. I picture someone who's not eating nearly enough to sustain their body. Someone who has parts that are terrified of eating or of weight gain. Someone who's body is breaking down due to a lack of nourishment. You might picture the same.
But I think that's a very narrow idea of what restriction often looks like.
While certainly there are folx who are engaging in that level of restriction (research shows that up to 4% of women and up to .3% of men are diagnosed with anorexia at some point in their lifetime), many, many people restrict their food intake to a lesser degree. And I think many of those people don't really even realize that how they're eating would be considered restrictive.
For example, dieting is actually restriction. So is not eating certain foods or limiting how much of those foods you're eating. Restriction is also believing that you need to earn food with exercise. Or counting out exactly 19 grapes (or whatever the "correct" serving size of grapes might be) regardless of how hungry you are. And there are probably dozens upon dozens of other examples of restriction that we don't typically think of as restriction.
At this point, you may be thinking, "Hey--I do some of those things--so what? That's normal." Well, you're right--it is normal in our culture to engage in restrictive eating behaviors. But should it be?
To me, restrictive eating behaviors aren't Self-led. And in my humble opinion, being Self-led with food as what we're aiming for. I truly believe that our Self wants our body to be nourished and healthy. And I don't believe that Self supports restricting. Which means that restriction comes from our parts.
Let me say that again: restrictive eating comes from our parts.
And on this week's episode, we talk about the four most common reasons that our parts restrict food:
Restriction is seen as "normal" and desirable in our culture To lose weight, maintain weight, or prevent weight gain As a means of controlling the chaos in one's life To feel specialWe also talk about what restriction is (i.e. it's not just anorexia), what it can look like, and how our protectors use restriction to protect exiles. Quick example: say you have an exile who carries body shame from being told that your body is too large. This exile may be protected by a part who works really hard at trying to lose weight, thinking that if your body is just smaller that exile would no longer feel shame.
If you know you have parts that restrict food (or are now curious about whether or not you do), take a listen to this week's episode. My hope is that you'll have a much better understanding of--and appreciation for--these restricting parts. Take a listen!
Where to find me:
drkimdaniels.com
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On this week's podcast, we're talking about something that I haven't talked much about at all on the show: sexuality. Thankfully, since this is not my speciality, I'm joined by Esther Hooley, a psychologist who presented a really informative workshop that I attended a few months ago on sexuality and eating concerns.
Esther is a psychologist in Waco, TX and practices telehealth across the U.S. She has been a therapist for over a decade and has worked in group practices, university counseling centers, IOP/PHP for eating disorders, and private practice. Esther has spent the past three years receiving advanced training and supervision in sex therapy. This, coupled with her early training in trauma and spirituality, has led her to find her therapy "home" at the intersection of sexuality, trauma, and spirituality. Esther recently finished writing her first book, Embracing Erotic Wholeness: From Shame to Curiosity, on sexuality and purity culture.
On this episode, we started our conversation on what exactly is sexuality. We then went on to discuss such topics as:
What shapes one's sexuality Common myths about sexuality, including: The frequency of sex (i.e. believing "everyone is having sex all of the time, and they're having more than I'm having") The myth of spontaneous desire Feeling responsible for sexually satisfying one's partner One's sexual and gender orientations are fixed Myths about sexual satisfaction The connection between shame and restriction How to become more embodied during sexual experiencesEsther also talked about the Good-Enough Sex Model, a model of sexuality created by Barry McCarthy that she uses with clients. Here's the link to a podcast episode with the creator of the model.
We also talked about Purity Culture, a "painful, powerful" movement that came about in the 1990s that created a set of rules surrounding sex and sexuality. Esther noted that Purity Culture "really divided people from themselves and their wants and even their higher power." And again, she's written a new book on the topic--head here to check it out!
Esther shared how she helps people get unstuck in their sexuality and look at "what are the things I'm scared of looking at, and feeling, and experiencing when it comes to sexuality." She suggested looking at the "sexual script" you were given and really noticing what actually fits for you and what doesn't. She gave the example of herself being told that women should be submissive and quiet, and that their job is to give their bodies for other peoples' pleasure and use. She reevaluated this script for herself and created a new narrative. Within this process, she asked a great question:
"If I knew everything would be ok, what would I want?"
And finally, we talked about what therapists can do to feel more comfortable discussing sexuality with our clients (which of course starts with our own work!). Esther suggested asking clients the questions that began this email:
What's your relationship with your sexuality? What's your relationship with your body? What's your relationship with pleasure?This is such an important topic, and I'm so thankful to Esther for coming onto the show to discuss it. Take a listen!
Where to find Esther:
Website
Her book: Embracing Erotic Wholeness: From Shame to Curiosity
Books Esther mentions:
Come as You Are
The Better Sex Through Mindfulness Workbook
Good-Enough Sex interview with Barry McCarthy
Where to find me:
Where to find me:
drkimdaniels.com
Instagram
TikTok
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On my last podcast episode, Heidi Andersen and I had a fantastic discussion about embodiment and how vital it is to be in your body in order to heal your relationship with it. (If you didn't listen to it yet, check it out here!)
After Heidi and I recorded that episode, I told her she had an open invitation to come back onto the show and expand on anything that we had just discussed. This invitation turned into the idea of her walking me through some embodiment exercises on the show that you could do as well. We immediately scheduled another recording and voila! This week's episode was done!
Just a reminder about Heidi and why she's the perfect person to be talking about this topic. Heidi is a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor Supervisor, Certified Body TrustÂź Specialist, Certified Safe and Sound Protocol Provider, Registered Yoga Teacher and Embodiment Specialist. She currently supports clients with Reclaiming Beauty, an outpatient group practice of body-centered psychotherapists specializing in weight inclusive treatment for the intersection of trauma, attachment wounds, and eating disorders through a body liberation lens and somatic approach.
Heidi believes embodiment heals and combines her studies of Somatic Internal Family Systems, Embodied Recovery for Eating Disorders, Sensorimotor Psychotherapy and the Center for Body TrustÂź in her support of her clients. She is also the author of the Reclaiming Beauty Journal and Wisdom Deck, a resource created to support women in building a self-compassionate relationship with their body.
As we discussed in last week's episode, Heidi defines embodiment as:
The ability to land safely in our body in the present moment, just how we are.
For many of us, this takes some practice, patience, and guidance. And this is where Heidi comes in. When we discussed this episode, Heidi told me that she had a "million" embodiment exercises. In the interest of time, she chose to do three.
We start the episode with talking about why it's so important to work toward embodiment. Some of the many reasons for this are:
Noticing how your body can be a resource (this might be news to your parts!)
Learning how your body can help you regulate your nervous system
Helping to shift the "violent" thoughts we tend to send toward our bodies
Feeling comfortable with no longer avoiding your body
Heidi then walks me through three different exercises, checking in with my parts as we go along. It was an insightful experience for me, and I know it will be for you too!
Again, connecting with your body is a necessary part of healing your relationship with it, and I hope that these exercises help you to either begin that journey or further the work you're already doing. Take a listen!
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On this week's episode, I'm speaking with Certified Body TrustÂź Specialist Heidi Andersen about the topic of embodiment, something that she sees as vital to the healing of food and body issues. And in case you're not quite sure how to define embodiment, Heidi describes it as:
The ability to land safely in our body in the present moment, just how we are.
How lovely is that?? Can you image how your food and body issues would just melt away if you experienced this?
Let me back up here for a minute and introduce Heidi to you. Heidi Andersen is a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor Supervisor, Certified Body TrustÂź Specialist, Certified Safe and Sound Protocol Provider, Registered Yoga Teacher and Embodiment Specialist. During her therapist career, she has worked as a therapist in residential, PHP, IOP and outpatient levels of care with people struggling with eating disorders.
Heidi currently supports clients with Reclaiming Beauty, an outpatient group practice of body-centered psychotherapists specializing in weight inclusive treatment for the intersection of trauma, attachment wounds, and eating disorders through a body liberation lens and somatic approach.
Heidi also provides consultation, mentorship and consult groups for professionals, as well as trainings, workshops and retreats. Heidi believes embodiment heals and combines her studies of Somatic Internal Family Systems, Embodied Recovery for Eating Disorders, Sensorimotor Psychotherapy and the Center for Body TrustÂź in her support of her clients. She is also the author of the Reclaiming Beauty Journal and Wisdom Deck, a resource created to support women in building a self-compassionate relationship with their body.
As you can see, she really knows what she's talking about!
Heidi and I cover a lot of ground in this episode, but the key takeaway is this: you must heal your relationship with your body in order to heal your relationship with food. I'll let Heidi say it herself:
âYou canât really heal whatâs happening in the body unless you really bring the body to the forefront.â
Heidi discusses how previous (and unfortunately current) eating disorder treatment models don't involve the body at all--they're merely focused on the mind. This makes absolutely no sense, since eating disorders are very often a result of body shame and/or a disconnection from the body. Therefore, working on being in your body is a giant piece of the work.
On this episode, Heidi and I also talk about:
How to talk about size and weight with clients Why anger can help us heal the shame that weâve internalized The fact that diet culture is a reflection white supremacy culture, colonization, and racism How embodiment is the antidote to body image issues Why itâs wrong to say that body image is the last part of the process of healing from an eating disorder How to start becoming more embodiedWe also talk about the three categories of protectors that Heidi tends to see disconnecting us from our bodies. Those are:
Self-Objectifying parts (those who have learned that you're an object, not a subject) Parts who are invested in diet culture as an attachment figure Parts who use disembodiment to avoid pain that the body is carrying related to past traumaAs you can see, we covered a lot! Take a listen!
Where to find Heidi:
https://www.reclaimingbeauty.com/
Other links we mentioned:
Center for Body Trust https://centerforbodytrust.com/ Embodied Recovery for Eating Disorders https://embodiedrecovery.org/ Somatic IFS https://www.embodiedself.net/ IFS Viewpoint on Dieting and Cultural Harm https://ifs-institute.com/resources/articles/ifss-viewpoint-dieting-and-cultural-harm Diet Culture as an Attachment Figure https://www.reclaimingbeauty.com/blog/satisfaction-may-not-be-your-until-you-break-it-off-with-diet-culture Killing Us Softly, Then and Now https://youtu.be/MQ3ESVKighs?si=DQP25QWm5Etca2Es Where to Find Me:drkimdaniels.com
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I'll get right to it and be honest. Part of this week's podcast topic--GLP-1 medication--is not something I've really wanted to talk about. These are the medications that we're all hearing about nonstop--the ones that Oprah talked about in her recent special. I haven't wanted to give them much air time, because we hear about them so much everywhere else, and also because I don't really think my opinion on them matters. Although it's true that I have significant concerns about these medications and wish that we could move past weight loss as a goal, I also truly believe in bodily autonomy. If these medications seem right to you, what does it matter what I think of them?
So, I do mention them on this week's podcast, but it's only briefly and it's only to say two things:
If you're looking into taking them, please do your own independent research. Hopefully, you have a trustworthy physician who's looking out for your best interests. But if you don't, you might have someone who's not giving you all of the information. So please please please research the heck of them. If you do take them/are taking them, please listen to what your body is telling you. If you're having any type of negative side effects, please take that seriously. All medications can have serious consequences, so you definitely want to listen to your body.Moving on...
What I really wanted to focus on this week is food noise. This is a term you've probably heard about because they tend to talk a lot about it when they talk about GLP-1s. And since it seems like people are always talking about GLP-1s, they're also talking a lot about food noise.
Food noise isn't an official term or diagnosis--I don't know who coined it, but someone did and now that's how we refer to the constant internal chatter about food. This might be your experience: constantly thinking about food. That's food noise. It seems as though medication and even bariatric surgery have been found to quiet or at least decrease food noise in some people. But why is that?
No one really knows (one of my many sarcastic parts just rolled her eyes and said "Of course not..."). Sure, it may be due to some physiological change that the medication or surgery causes, such as a change in hormones related to hunger. But I don't think for one second that it's entirely physical. I think it makes total sense that it's at least a little bit psychological. And of course, that relates to parts.
In this episode, we're talking about the psychological factors that might be at play here in the quieting of food noise. I give you four reasons why I think food noise quiets with medications/surgery (spoiler alert: it's not because of the medication or surgery itself), which leads into a discussion on why you don't need medication or surgery to get food noise to soften.
If you're someone who experiences loud levels of food noise, my heart goes out to you. I know that can be at the very least irritating and at times even debilitating. I can absolutely understand wanting to do whatever it takes to make it stop. Hopefully, this week's podcast can shed some light on how to do that without medication/surgery, or in tandem with them.
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I have a question for you. What do you know about your early years? Like from birth to age two? And what do you know about your mom's pregnancy with you?
If you're like me, not a whole lot.
Turns out, though, this is really good information to have. According to this week's podcast guest, Colleen West, these early years and your experiences within have an incredible influence on the development of your relationship with food.
Especially when it comes to the nurturance and attunement given to you by your caretakers. I'll let Colleen explain it herself:
"For babies that donât get tended to reliably, they end up with more need to autoregulate, to soothe from the outside. And that often gets linked with food. And it begins a whole lot of other behaviors and deep burdens that last long into your life, unless those young parts get cared for."
Did that just resonate with a lot of your parts? I know it did with mine.
Preverbal parts are Colleen's specialty, and I'm thrilled to have her back on the show to take a much deeper dive than we did in our first conversation (catch that episode here). Colleen is all about creating connection: between you and your parts, between you and your loved ones, between you, your community, and the wider world. She is unabashedly optimistic about the human capacity to heal, to tap into the wellspring of compassion that is Self. Her professional focus is healing preverbal attachment trauma.
As a Marriage and Family Therapist and IFS Consultant, she devotes herself to training and mentoring psychotherapists, and writing. Thanks to Zoom, she is training therapists all over the world. She is author of We All Have Parts: An Illustrated Guide to Healing Trauma with Internal Family Systems (2021) and The IFS Flip Chart (2023). She lives in the San Francisco Bay Area with her husband and the fabulous dog Sky. In her leisure, she likes spending time in nature and preparing feasts for family and friends. More at www.colleenwest.com and www.smarttherapytools.com.
On this week's podcast, Colleen and I talk about how those early years are so important, and how a lack of nurturance and attunement by parents (with even the best of intentions) can lead to the use of food--or the restriction of food--as a soothing mechanism. In the episode, we discuss:
Why hunger can lead to feelings of panic How a lack of nurturance in infancy leads to feelings of loneliness, isolation, and fear, and how all of that can impact our relationship with food How our early experiences can lead us to disconnect from our bodies and their experiences of hunger The behavioral cues that indicate a lack of nurturance in infancy How IFS can help to heal the exiles that weren't cared forColleen also leaves us with three important points:
If you're currently a parent of young children, do your best to be present with them; If you're in therapy, slow down and notice your parts and your bodily sensations, and focus on your preverbal years; and Your own Self-Energy can heal your parts.This was truly a wonderful, aha-inducing episode that I know will resonate with your parts. Take a listen!
You can find Colleen at:
www.colleenwest.com
www.smarttherapytools.com
Where to find me:
drkimdaniels.com
Instagram
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And if you'd like to take a deep dive into your own relationship with food, considering joining one of my Food and Body Freedom groups for therapists/practitioners and for non-therapists.
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If you celebrated Easter yesterday (and even if you didn't), you probably have some leftover candy in your house. Which means you also probably have some parts who are very anxious about this candy. Or who have already eaten quite a bit of it. Or who have put it high up on a shelf so that hopefully you'll forget about it.
Having a lot of candy in the house can be difficult for some of our parts. It can also be a big party for others! Likely, you're going back and forth between wanting to eat it all and hoping your willpower holds out so that you don't eat any.
Both sides of that polarization are extreme, aren't they? No, it's probably not great for your body to binge on a lot of chocolate. But it's also totally normal to eat candy.
On this week's podcast, we're talking about how to handle this polarization. It's a pretty short episode so we aren't diving too deep, but I wanted to at least offer some perspective and support.
So...what do you do about this candy?
First and foremost, remind yourself that these are parts. It's very easy to become blended with these parts quickly and seemingly completely. But these are parts. They are not Self. Yes, your Self may enjoy some candy, but it's not feeling obsessed about eating it. Self is also not adamant that you don't eat the candy. Again--do your best to remind yourself that these are parts.
Second, remind yourself that the parts that want to eat the candy and the parts who want to restrict the candy are all trying to protect you in the only way they know how. Take some time to get to know them and get curious about who they're protecting.
Third, hold a little meeting with your parts. Ask anyone who has anything to do with the candy to meet with you and talk about what's going on for them. And ask them to give you space so that you get to know everyone. Try to figure out a way to handle the candy that everyone can agree to. That may not be possible, but I would almost guarantee that it will be a less extreme polarization than it was previously.
And finally, if and when you do eat the candy, eat it mindfully. Really take the time to notice it, taste it, and enjoy it. Actually, if you slow down and eat it mindfully, you might realize that you don't even like it. Sometimes our kid parts take over and lead us to food that our adult selves just don't even like any more.
I hope that helps, and I hope that you're able to feel more peaceful in your own home. Just keeping getting to know the parts of you that have anything to do with food, and you'll be ready for the next candy season!
Where to find me:
drkimdaniels.com
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Trigger warning: on this episode, we're talking about trauma and how traumatic experiences can impact your relationship with food and your body. If you're just not up for this topic, take care of yourself and pass it by.
Trauma and eating disorders often go hand-in-hand. Indeed, research has suggested that up to 50% of those diagnosed with eating disorders meet the criteria of PTSD. So if we're going to talk about food and body concerns, we need to talk about trauma.
From an IFS perspective, it makes complete sense that some of your parts would use food to manage the impact of trauma. Providing traumatized parts with food is one way to comfort them. Food is also a great way to distract yourself and numb your system. And restricting food can be highly effective in distracting yourself and feeling a much-needed sense of control.
It also makes complete sense that your parts would develop negative feelings toward your body if you've experienced trauma--especially trauma on or about your body.
This is a topic that I really want to delve into, which is why I invited my colleague Cinna Holsclaw to join me in discussing it. Cinna is a licensed clinical social worker with a practice in Utah. Sheâs a certified level 2 trained IFS therapist who is also trained in EMDR and Brainspotting. Cinna specializes in PTSD and c-PTSD and is very much aware of the correlation between trauma and food and body concerns. She's also just one of the nicest people Iâve ever met in my life, so Iâm really excited to have her on.
Because this is such an important topic, Cinna and I will be recording a few episodes on trauma and food/body concerns, and we're also in the planning stages of developing trainings on the topic. We're also planning a retreat for therapists and practitioners who would like to look at their own trauma history and food/body concerns as well as learn how to help their clients (if you haven't already, please head here to indicate your interest in getting more info on the retreat).
But on todayâs episode, Cinna and I start with an overall discussion about trauma and how it relates to food and body concerns. We discuss:
What is c-PTSD
How parts use food in various ways to cope with trauma
How food physically impacts your system (i.e. why we turn to carbs for comfort!)
Epigenetics and legacy burdens
Again, this is just the beginning of this very important discussion so stay tuned for more. Take a listen!
Where to find Cinna:
Cinnamon Holsclaw
Where to find me:
Where to find me:
drkimdaniels.com
Instagram
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If you're a therapist, practitioner, or coach whoâs interested in joining us for a retreat (likely in early 2025), head here to let me know you'd like more info!
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Let me ask you a question: have you ever thought of yourself as a binge eater? Or maybe you've noticed that you have a part that binges? This is something that many people engage in at least sometimes, and for some folx it happens daily.
But what exactly is binge eating? I find that many of my clients describe themselves as binge eaters, but they actually aren't. And to me, if you're going to use a label, be sure it's accurate.
According the field of psychiatry and the DSM-V, a binge is characterized as:
Eating, in a discrete period of time (e.g., within any 2-hour period), an amount of food that is definitely larger than most people would eat in a similar period of time under similar circumstances The sense of a lack of control over eating during the episode (e.g., a feeling that one cannot stop eating or control what or how much one is eating)Honestly, I don't find this definition particularly helpful (and I go into why that is on this week's podcast episode). But, in general, binge eating is eating a large amount of food and feeling out of control. It's not merely eating foods that you "shouldn't" or eating in response to your emotions. I think many people don't realize this. They consider a binge to be eating three cookies after a stressful work meeting. That may be emotional eating, but that's not bingeing.
On this week's podcast, we're talking about binge eating. We get into:
What binge eating technically is and why the diagnostic criteria are problematic Why it happens from a physical perspective Why it happens from a psychological perspective (i.e. how does IFS view binge eating)Then we get into what's known as the binge/restrict cycle. This is a pattern wherein people go back and forth between binge eating and restricting (dieting) and back to binge eating again. This can happen over the course of a day, a week, a couple months, or even a few years. It's an extremely frustrating cycle that's very hard to get out of.
In IFS terms, this cycle is a polarization between binge eating parts and restricting parts. Each side takes over at different times, leaving you stuck in a ping pong match between your parts. We discuss this cycle at length in the podcast, and we talk about how to get out of it.
If you think you've ever binged, this is a great episode to listen to. I hope that it clarifies some things for you. And I hope that it gives you some ideas on how to stop the cycle.
And speaking of gaining more clarity, just a reminder that the Food and Body Freedom Workshop Series is starting on Tuesday, March 19th, 2024. I've got three experiential workshops planned that will help you to understand:
why you use food the way you do the familial and cultural influences on your relationship with food and your body how to treat your body with kindnessYou can do all three workshops or pick and choose the ones that appeal to you.
Where to find me:
drkimdaniels.com
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Are you familiar with the Enneagram? The "test" that views personality as nine interconnected types? I wasn't, until about three years ago. And even then, I took an online test, bought a book, read the chapter that corresponded with my "type," and never looked at it again.
But....
I've had parts in the background of my mind who have been curious about it. And every time I see one of Tammy Sollenbergers' posts about the Enneagram or a new group that she's starting to help you incorporate the Enneagram and IFS I think, "I need to look at that again."
So I decided to reach out to Tammy and ask her to come on to the podcast to talk about it. And thankfully, she agreed!
Tammy Sollenberger is an IFS therapist and the host of the One Inside Podcast. She's also the author of The One Inside: Thirty Days to Your Authentic Self. And she co-leads a course with Joan Ryan, an Enneagram expert, on using IFS and the Enneagram to "observe your patterns, unblend from parts, and make new choices."
In this week's podcast Tammy and I talk about the Enneagram and how well it integrates with IFS. Both models can help you to know yourself at a much deeper level, but using them together can add even more awareness and understanding. And, at least for me, knowing that there are aspects of my personality that are hard-wired to see the world in a certain way, at least to some degree, helps my parts to be much less critical of how I think and what I do.
In this episode, Tammy talks about how each part has a "focus of attention," meaning a certain thing that really matters the most to them, and she goes through each type and explains that focus. She also explains how our parts will respond differently to things based on our Enneagram type. Like you and I could have the exact same experience, but if our types are different, our parts will react differently.
AND, we get into a discussion about how the Enneagram can help you understand your relationship with food. Tammy was able to speak to this but also connected me with Joan Ryan, an Enneagram expert, who'll be coming onto the podcast to take a much deeper dive into this.
It's all pretty fascinating, if you ask me.
And I think the combination of IFS and the Enneagram can lead to much deeper self-understanding, and ultimately a deeper level of healing. Sign me up!
If all of that sounds interesting to you, take a listen!
Where to find Tammy:
https://tammysollenberger.com/
Joan Ryan's Type Cards: https://creativecollaborations.net/product/help-me-find-my-enneagram-type/
The book we discuss
My upcoming workshop series
Food and Body Freedom for Therapists and Practitioners
Food and Body Freedom for Non-Therapists
IFS Master Class
Where to find me:
drkimdaniels.com
Instagram
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I think many (most) of us have had the experience of feeling out-of-control with food, at least to some degree. It feels like something or someone else has taken over and you're just along for the ride.
In IFS terms, we call that being "blended" with a part. The part has literally hijacked the system and is running the show. And Self is very hard to access.
One of the things that my clients always want to work on is what to do in the moment when this is happening. Which makes complete sense, right? How can I stop the roller coaster before it even starts?
But...
I don't think that's where most of the work actually is. Sure, that can be helpful, and we do talk about how to be more present and aware in those moments. But in my experience, the real work is when this isn't happening. The real work is getting to know your parts when your system is calm, and you have more access to Self.
And we're talking about why that part of the work is so important on this week's podcast. In this episode, we're focusing on why it's essential to regularly check in with and get to know parts within your eating system and why this is what makes it easier to unblend from your parts when they start to take over.
And yes, we also talk about what to do in those moments when your parts start hijacking you. Check it out!
And if youâre interested in getting to know your parts, join me for the Food and Body Freedom Experiential IFS Workshop Series! Iâm doing three workshops, all of which IFS-based and experiential (meaning no didactics), and all of which will guide you in getting to know more parts that are related to food and body concerns. You can buy the whole series for $129 or pay for one or two at $49 each. Head here for all of the details!
Where to find me:
Therapy website (for therapists and practitioners): drkimdaniels.com
Coaching website (for non-therapists): yourweightisnotyourworth.com
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Changing your relationship with food and with your body can be quite the complicated process, can't it? It seems like we often take two steps forward and four (or more?) steps back. I think that's because sometimes we go too far too fast, and we experience a backlash from parts.
Let me give you an example. Say you feel out-of-control with food sometimes (or a lot of the time). You decide to control your eating by putting certain parameters around it. Maybe you cut down on carbs or tell yourself you can't eat past a certain time of the day. And maybe you do that for a while, and you feel more in-control.
And then one day, you (actually, your parts) say, "f* it. I want some bread! And a late-night snack!" And you start eating, seemingly with reckless abandon.
In IFS, this is what we call a backlash. You went too far in one direction (restriction) and parts rebelled against it (by breaking the rules you had set with food). It makes total sense when you think about it. Our parts are using and/or restricting food for a reason, and when we just try to change what they're doing, they don't like it. We're changing their job and taking away the only way they know how to help us.
This is why we need to take smaller steps when we're working toward change.
In this week's podcast, I'm talking about the concept of being "comfortably uncomfortable" during the process of healing your relationship with food and your body with my guest, Celia Clark. Celia is a Food and Body Image Specialist who began her therapy career working in addictions. She has completed advanced education in Eating Disorders and Complex Trauma is trained in various modalities, including Person-Centred Counselling, Family Therapy, EMDR and Internal Family Systems (IFS).
Celia now works primarily through a parts lens and believes the parts of ourselves invested in impulsive or compulsive eating behavior as a solution often have positive intentions and are unaware of the consequences. By getting to know these parts, we begin to build safety and trust within our internal system and heal the shame-based wounding and internal disconnection that so often drives our challenges with nourishment. This safety and trust also supports a return to the body, where our sense of belonging originates. By learning to reconnect with ourselves in this way, our body again becomes a place to live in and from, a place to call home.
Celia and I talk about a few things in this episode, including:
The concept of nourishment and how she considers nourishment to be a two-part process: that of giving nourishment to our parts and that of our parts receiving it from Self How helpful IFS has been to her own system as well as to her clients in healing food and body concerns What Celia calls the "confusion around chaotic controlled eating" The need to become "comfortably uncomfortable" when we work toward change How to begin slowly providing for your partsâ needsI truly enjoyed our conversation, and I hope that you do too! Head here to listen, and check out all of Celia's offerings here.
Where to find me:
Therapy website (for therapists and practitioners): drkimdaniels.com
Coaching website (for non-therapists): yourweightisnotyourworth.com
Instagram
TikTok
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I have a question for you: are you hungry? If your answer is yes, how can you tell? If your answer is no, how you can tell? And if your answer is, I have no idea, you're in the right place!
Not surprisingly, the topic of hunger comes up a lot with my clients. It's hard to talk about eating and food issues without talking about hunger. And one of the questions I hear a lot is:
Am I hungry? Or is it a part? How can I tell???
If this is a question that's come up for you too, then this week's podcast is right up your alley.
Hunger can be confusing for many of us, even though it's really very simple. Hunger is just our body's way of telling us it needs food. Simple. But it's become a thing. Especially for womxn.
Diet culture has taught us to ignore, distrust, and even fear our hunger. How many times have you heard one of these lines:
You're not hungry--you're bored. If you're hungry, just drink some water. Be sure to eat every 2-3 hours so you never get hungry.Advice like this just teaches you to ignore what your body is telling you. That's essentially like ignoring your body when it tells you to sleep. To use the bathroom. To sneeze. Imagine telling someone, hey--if you're thirsty, just go eat a steak. How preposterous is that???? And yet that's the same thing as drinking water when you're hungry. Thirst isn't hunger. Water isn't food.
On this week's podcast, we're talking about the topic of hunger and everything that comes with. We're discussing:
The difference between physical and emotional hunger (i.e. am I hungry or is this a part?) How to notice physical hunger cues What may be blocking you from noticing your hunger cues, such as: Never being taught to notice them Chronic dieting that taught you to ignore or fear hunger Trauma Body hatred What hunger may mean to youWe're also talking about the fact that hunger is normal! It shouldn't be ignored or feared. It's just your body telling you it needs fuel.
So, if you had a hard time answering my question above, or if you have a difficult time noticing or connecting to your hunger cues, definitely take a listen!
Click below for information on my upcoming groups:
Food and Body Freedom for Therapists and Practitioners
Food and Body Freedom for Non-Therapists
Where to find me:
Therapy website (for therapists and practitioners): drkimdaniels.com
Coaching website (for non-therapists): yourweightisnotyourworth.com
Instagram
TikTok
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Quick trigger warning here: lots of talk today about diets and the scale. If you're not up for it, no worries--just skip it.
Itâs January, and you know what that means. Itâs diet season. Ugh....I turned on the tv this morning and saw an ad for a diet program within five seconds. About one minute later, there was one for a weight loss medication. Yep. We'll be completely inundated with ads for diet programs, gyms, medications, etc. for the next few weeks.
And itâs hard not to get dragged into all of this, isnât it? I sometimes have parts that will think, "Maybe we should do that" when they see this information nonstop. It's hard not to think that.
But this podcast isn't about diet culture and whether or not you should be dieting or focusing on weight. It's about one aspect of diet culture: the scale.
In a new series called "Let's Talk About...," we'll be focusing on various topics related to emotional eating, IFS, diet culture, body image, etc. These are the topics that have been on my list for awhile, so I'm getting to them this season.
And whether or not to step on that scale has been on that list for quite awhile now.
On this week's podcast, we talk a little about the history of the scale, and then move into a discussion on whether or not to weigh yourself. And of course the answer to that comes down to parts. Who is the part that's leading you to the scale? Why are they wanting you to weigh yourself? And more importantly, what are they afraid will happen if you don't step on that scale?
We also talk a bit about the polarizations within many of our systems related to weight and the scale, and how the scale is related to the this idea that we can and should be controlling our bodies. We end on how to approach the scale at your physician's office.
So if you have a complicated relationship with the scale (who doesn't?), this one's for you!
And if you're an IFS or IFS-informed therapist or practitioner who's curious about how to help your clients with food and body issues, join me for the IFS and the Eating System Master Class! Weâll be covering such topics as helping clients get to know their eating parts, working with polarizations, legacy burdens, body image, and Self-led eating. We'll be meeting as a group every other Monday from 12:00-2:00 pm EST starting on January 22nd, and you also get two individual consultation sessions with me over the course of the master class to use however you choose. Head here to check it out!
Where to find me:
Therapy website (for therapists and practitioners): drkimdaniels.com
Coaching website (for non-therapists): yourweightisnotyourworth.com
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