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Tessa dives into the art of navigating workplace conflict with Karin Hurt and David Dye, authors of "Powerful Phrases for Dealing with Workplace Conflict." They highlight the common pitfall of avoiding difficult conversations, which are crucial for personal and professional development. David and Karin provide a practical script for initiating these conversations and introduce the four dimensions of productive conflict: connection, clarity, curiosity, and commitment. They share impactful phrases, or "GOATs," that help start conversations within each dimension. From addressing a micromanager to discussing mental health challenges with an employer, they equip listeners with the tools to handle various workplace scenarios.
Karin Hurt and David Dye empower leaders to navigate uncertainty, spark innovation, and achieve remarkable outcomes. As CEO and President of Let's Grow Leaders, their practical tools and leadership programs leave a lasting impact. These award-winning authors have penned six books, including "Courageous Cultures" and "Powerful Phrases for Dealing With Workplace Conflict." Karin, a former Verizon Wireless executive and acclaimed leadership speaker, and David, a former executive and elected official, combine their expertise to guide organizations forward. Committed to social impact, they also champion the Winning Wells initiative, providing clean water to Cambodian communities.
You can find David and Karin at their website https://letsgrowleaders.com/
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Merit recently left her company after things went downhill following a restructuring. She is happy with her new position but wants to avoid the same thing happening again.
How do you avoid feeling like a cog in the wheel, especially in an industry with a lot of change? What can you do to stay off the chopping block?
As a Customer Success Manager, what is the best way to deal with being the âpunching bagâ for angry customers on a daily basis?
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In this episode, Tessa interviews fellow career coach, Sam Owens. Sam is the author of I Hate Job Interviews. He shares tips for a successful interview.
Practicing your responsesHow to avoid ramblingAddressing being fired from a previous jobBeing too honestUsing the Home Base ModelWhat interviewers really mean by, âTell me about yourself.âWhat to include in the first 3 minutes of the interviewEnthusiasmHow to end an interviewYou can find Sam Owens at https://www.samscareertalk.com/
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After many negative experiences with previous employers, Jenny is feeling like her current situation may be too good to be true. She wants to know how to keep her past experiences from repeating themselves.
How do you keep past negative work experiences from reoccurring and maintain a healthy relationship with your manager?
If you really like your manager, how do you know when itâs time to leave your job?
Tips on maintaining a good relationship with your manager and adjusting to change in a company:
Be upfront with your manager about where you want to go. Give them the plan for how you want to get there (exposures, experiences, training).Quick validate. Check in with your manager frequently to see if you are on track.If you are having a negative experience, have a crucial conversation.Make sure the story you are telling yourself is the real story.Change in a company can be a trigger for innovation.If you decide to leave a company, do it in an organized way. Donât lose your leverage and/or promotion opportunities by leaving too quickly.Keep your âenemiesâ close and stay in the look when changes are happening.
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Roman was passed over for a job in the final stages of salary negotiation when the company realized he didnât finish his college degree. He wants to know how to navigate future job opportunities.
What is the best approach to landing senior roles without a degree?
Tessa gives tips on job hunting and interviewing without a degree.
Interviewing:
Do not lie.Change the conversation from what youâre lacking to the practical experience you have that makes up for the missing courses.Double down on your value proposition.Entering the job search:
Update your LinkedIn profile.Get clear on your value proposition. What is the problem you solve and why should someone hire you? Get specific.Include your value proposition and professional highlights at the top of your LinkedIn profile and your resume.Use AI to help your resume hit key words from the job description of your desired role.
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As a young mom in the early stages of her career, Sarah often feels like she is not taken as seriously as her colleagues. She wants to know how to best handle these situations and be treated like an equal part of the team.
When you are not given proper respect by colleagues, what can you do?
What are strategies for standing up for yourself without burning bridges?How can you keep colleagues and/or leadership engaged during presentations?
Tessa explains the importance of having difficult conversations. She shares the following tips for asserting yourself in a professional way.
First, make sure to address the issue. If you are not comfortable doing it in the moment, you can pull the person aside after the meeting. Avoid becoming a ghost by saying nothing.
Utilize the GAP Model for conflict resolution. Make sure to always assume good intent.
What I expectedâŠWhat I observedâŠIs that what you intended, or do you see it differently?What can I do to prevent this from happening in the future?If someone is talking over you, try, âStop. I have something to say.â
Keep presentations short and to the point. Avoid giving too much data.
Check for engagement during presentations by asking what information will be most useful and going straight there.
You can learn more about the GAP Model for Conflict Resolution in chapter 7 of Tessaâs book, âGetting Comfortable with Conflict.â
You can find the story about Cubicle Guy in chapter 6, âLies About the Corner Office.â
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Elyse, a newly appointed employee, faces the common challenge of lacking a clear job description months into her role. This episode explores proven strategies for navigating undefined roles and achieving success despite the ambiguity.
Key Takeaways:
Taking Initiative: Tessa advises proactively engaging with other leaders and participating in relevant activities to gain insights into the role's expectations.Crafting Your Own Narrative: Create a draft job description based on your current understanding. This can be used as a starting point for discussions with your manager.Crucial Conversations: Learn how to utilize the GAP Model for Conflict Resolution to effectively communicate your concerns and expectations to your manager.Regular Check-Ins: Establish frequent check-ins with your manager to ensure alignment and address any emerging issues.Strategic Focus: Prioritize strategic thinking and long-term goals over tactical tasks to maximize your impact in the role.
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Is your career feeling stagnant? Brittany, a senior project manager, shares her concerns about limited growth opportunities at her company. In this episode, Tessa discusses strategies for creating your own upward mobility. Learn how to:
Leverage lateral moves to gain a deeper understanding of your company's inner workings.Expand your network to uncover hidden opportunities and gain valuable allies."Play in the gap" by identifying and addressing unsolved problems within your organization.Master the "yes, and, what if" model to navigate project management challenges and foster collaboration.Episode Highlights:
Brittany's experience with limited upward mobility and her dilemma of staying vs. seeking a new job.Tessa's actionable advice for creating a new role for yourself or finding growth opportunities elsewhere.Tips for effectively saying "no" to colleagues' ideas while maintaining a positive working relationship.Real-world examples of how to implement the "yes, and, what if" model in your project management approach.
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Tessa speaks with her daughter, Hannah, about her pivot from a corporate career to one as an entrepreneur with several sources of income. After a traumatic event within her family, Hannah decided a traditional job wasnât the right fit. She created a work situation that better suits her personality and provides an optimal work-life balance. Hannah and Tessa discuss what to expect when transitioning from traditional employment to self-employment. Topics include changes in self-esteem, work-life balance, maintaining motivation, changes in income, and asking for help.
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Jamie is a small business owner that is struggling to keep her gen-z staff engaged. She wants to know how to best communicate with her staff and how to avoid burnout for both herself and her employees.
What are ways to keep younger employees motivated?
Tessa shares helpful strategies for managing a younger generation:
1. Ask employees about their personal goals and what skills they may want to develop. Help them to work towards those goals.
2. Use your cost envelope to motivate desired behaviors. Consider bonuses or variable pay.
3. Provide options whenever possible (e.g., benefits, shift scheduling). This generation thrives on customization.
How can you help employees to better meet performance expectations without micromanaging?
Increase communication and set clear expectations.Increase feedback. Share what type of feedback the staff can expect and how they should interpret that feedback.Point out and reward desired behaviors.Share tips about your management style. Ask your staff for feedback.
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Zac recently suffered a serious injury and is now reentering the workforce with a disability. He wants to know what to expect when applying and interviewing for jobs.
Are some industries more likely to hire people with disabilities?
At which point during the application process should you disclose that you need accommodations?
What is the best way to navigate depression and/or anxiety in the workplace?
In this episode, Tessa covers a variety of topics including
Utilizing available programs such as the ADA and FMLAHumane leadershipCommunicating with your manager
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Anne recently lost a promotion to an outside applicant. She has the experience that should have made the decision an easy yes for her employers and wants to know why she was overlooked.
What I expectedâŠWhat I observedâŠThen, identify the consequences.
How do you uncover why you werenât promoted and what you need to change to be promoted in the future?
Tessa shares her model for having difficult conversations. You can find The GAP Model for Conflict Resolution in Tessaâs book, The Unspoken Truths for Career Success. These key statements can be used to gather valuable information.Other Topics include:
How do you think others perceive me?What is the perception of what I do? What have you found that works to build influence and become a more promotable person?
Halfway Conversations
Practicing strong statements
Creating a path for career growth
The Feedback 4-pack : Three times a year ask the following questions to 4 people ( a manager, a cross functional team member, a superfan, and a neutral person):
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Dorothy Mashburn hosts Tessa on her podcast, Pay Negotiations Made Simple.
They discuss a variety of topics related to promotion and pay negotiation.
Making the jump from mid-level positions to a director or VP role.Navigating conflict in a way that benefits your career.Encouraging your manager to see you as ready for a promotion.Knowing when to leave a company and when to have difficult conversations to improve your situation.Using a job offer as leverage.Navigating the current job market.Get Tessaâs book here: BUY NOW
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Carrie is a practicing CPA who just received a doctorate in business administration. Despite her new job in operations, she keeps being asked to fill in as a CPA and wants to know how to segue into her new role.
How do you define an undefined role and make yourself indispensable to your company?
In this episode, Tessa explains how to create a strategic role that aligns with the needs of your company.
Creating a Strategic Role:
Define the problems that need to be solved. Ask decision makers what projects would make the biggest difference in 3-6 months and why they hired you.Find a way to quantify your contributions and progress to send regular updates via email. Showing progress will help you gain momentum in the role.Utilize a dashboard. Storytelling. Use face to face time with executives to focus on forward initiatives. Aim for 80% strategic and 20% tactical.
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Tessa shares notes with fellow career coach Allison Peck of "Alli from Corporate." Alli specializes in helping people transition to the corporate world and stand out from other applicants.
Tessa and Alli discuss a variety of topics:What is the job market like today?
How do you stand out in a sea of applicants?
Can you use AI when applying for jobs?
What is the best way to make professional connections that lead to opportunities?
Should hobbies and interests be listed on a resume? Do recruiters look at social media?
Tools Mentioned in this episode:
CareerBuilder CoLab
Chat GPT
Perplexity AI
You can find Alli from Corporate on all socia media as "Alli from Corporate" and on her website TheAllisonPeck.com
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Mistee works in healthcare and her department is being restructured. She needs to decide whether to take severance or stay on and accept a lesser role. Tessa covers a variety of topics related to Misteeâs situation.
Relevance of the Older Workerâs Benefit Protection ActNegotiation potential within a highly structured field such as healthcareGood leverage vs Bad LeveragePotential benefits accepting a lesser role and staying at the company, especially for older workers - Some benefits may include PTO, a pension, healthcare benefits or other benefits that may have been grandfathered in.Negotiating a structured exit
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Andrew is searching for a job as a strategy consultant after being laid off from his position in corporate finance. He wants to know how to choose a position and company that will best elevate his career and how to be noticed by that company.
How do you stand out in a sea of applicants?
Create an army of people, including family and friends, to find the positions you are seeking.Utilize LinkedIn to make connections and identify opportunities.Create a list of 10 companies you want to work for. Research them and make connections.Contact CEOs via LinkedIn, email, sending packages, or going to conferences where they may be speaking.Create a value proposition for each position you apply for that outlines precisely what you will do for that company.You can find help with resumes at TheJobDoctor.com
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In part two of this special episode, Tessa talks with That Career Coach, Kendall Berg. Kendall shares her tips on networking and brand building.
Human connection is a core pillar of a happy and meaningful life. While work plays a vital role, it shouldn't come at the expense of the relationships that support us, inspire us, and give our lives lasting value.
Work Accomplishments Fade: Projects are completed, goals are reached, and promotions are earned â yet their effect on our lives can diminish over time.
Relationships Endure: Strong relationships with family, friends, and colleagues provide lasting support, joy, and a sense of belonging that often outlasts the immediate impact of any single work achievement.Kendall and Tessa discuss how to be a good manager and how to make the challenging leap from manager to director.
Focus: Quantifiable tasks and their associated time or effort to complete.Tangible: Visible and easily measured.Examples:Answering 50 emails in an hour.Filing a specific number of reports.Building a piece of furniture.
They also discuss mental load and how it differs from workload.
WorkloadMental Load
Focus: The thought processes involved in managing tasks, responsibilities, and decision-making.Intangible: Not directly visible or easily measured.Examples:Remembering to buy milk on the way home and deciding which brand to get.Planning a birthday party (guest lists, invites, food, activities).Keeping track of everyone's schedules and appointments in a family.Key Differences
Visibility: Workload is visible; mental load is invisible.Measurement: Workload is easier to quantify; mental load is more subjective.Scope: Workload often pertains to job-related tasks; mental load encompasses all areas of life, including work, home, and relationships.Why This Distinction Matters
Understanding the difference between mental load and workload is crucial because:
Reduces Overwhelm: Recognizing mental load can help individuals explain their feelings of exhaustion or overwhelm when their workload may not seem excessive.Promotes Equitable Distribution: Understanding mental load can help partners, families, and teams more fairly distribute invisible tasks and responsibilities.Improved Work-Life Balance: Awareness of mental load can lead to a better understanding of overall work capacity and the potential need for strategies to manage both workload and mental load.
Find Kendall at https://thatcareercoach.net/She is @ThatCareerCoach on all social media.
Her book Secrets of the Corporate Game comes out in November 2024
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In part one of this special episode, Tessa talks with fellow career coach, Kendall Berg, of That Career Coach. Kendall has years of experience in the corporate world with a background rooted in technology complementing Tessaâs background in HR. Together they offer valuable perspectives on todayâs corporate landscape. In this episode, Kendall interviews Tessa. They discuss the âgamesâ played in the corporate world and what happens behind closed doors. In a cancel culture, learning to have crucial conversations may change the course of your career.
Focus: Navigating power dynamics, building alliances, and managing interpersonal relationships to advance one's agenda (positive or negative).Examples:Spreading rumors or subtly undermining colleaguesTaking undue credit for the work of others.Forming exclusive cliques to gain influence.Gossiping and backstabbing.
1. Office Politics2. The Blame Game
Focus: Avoiding responsibility for errors and shifting fault to others.Examples:Refusing to acknowledge mistakes and covering them up.Making excuses or pointing fingers at other team members.Creating a culture of fear, limiting open communication and problem-solving.3. The Appearance Game
Focus: Prioritizing image and perception over actual productivity or substance.Examples:Spending excessive time on presentations and formatting instead of focusing on content.Attending unnecessary meetings to appear busy and engaged.Prioritizing self-promotion over meaningful contributions.4. Strategy Games (These can be beneficial or harmful)
Focus: Navigating power structures, competition, and negotiation tactics to achieve objectives. This can be healthy and necessary in business.Examples:Carefully crafting persuasive arguments to win support for projects.Anticipating the moves of competitors or internal rivals.Building coalitions and networks for influence.Why Recognizing Corporate Games is Important
Avoid Toxicity: Identifying the negative games helps individuals avoid getting caught up in destructive patterns that hurt morale and productivity.Strategic Advantage: Understanding the rules of both negative and positive games allows people to navigate the corporate landscape more effectively.Promoting a Healthy Culture: Bringing awareness to these games can foster a culture of accountability, transparency, and collaboration.Important Note: It's crucial to distinguish between harmless social dynamics and genuinely toxic behaviors. Not all interpersonal maneuvering or ambition is harmful.
Find Kendall at https://thatcareercoach.net/She is @ThatCareerCoach on all social media.
Her book Secrets of the Corporate Game comes out in November 2024
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Bradley is the CEO of a company that has undergone significant changes in the last 2 years. He is struggling to keep his employees engaged and motivated.
What is the best way to engage and motivate employees? How do you appeal to different generations?
Employees are most concerned with feeling seen and feeling like they are making a difference. Tessa shares strategies to achieve this goal.
Overcome change fatigueTalk to employees about their personal goals and help them to achieve them.Incentivize managers to encourage employee growth.Ask employees about their superpowers and how they could be utilized most effectively.Shift the reward structure so that employees at all levels are rewarded for performance.Align compensation with behavior. Consider a new pay structure that bases pay on performance.Improve the line of sight. Ensure that employees are recognized for the work that they do.The Gen Z tagline should be, âChoose your own adventure.â Create a menu of reward options that speak directly to employees.Go to TheJobDoctor.com to download a pdf on How Different Generations Think.
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